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Lactose Intolerant [Kaito x Gender Neutral! Reader]

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Of All Times You've Planned to Embrace Me...



He just wouldn't give up.....


"[Name], did you hear? This new theme park opened up! We should go check it out sometime!"

"Neee, [Name] let's go outside for once? I mean it's a beautiful day and all-- hm? No..?"

"Oh! There you are, hey how about we go to the store, it's getting pretty hot lately right..? I know, let's go get some popsicles!"


And on, and on, and on... 

It wasn't like [Name] disliked the idol, but for some reason he was really persistent on going out together, or at least that's what everyone else have been making it seem like. Considering that [Name] was an ordinary person, doing just fine without, whatever friendship...  or relationship it would be with Kaito, [she/he] always turned down whatever offers he may have.


Though he was somewhat considered as a... friend? Right?


Ohhh, what does it even matter, this ol' [gal/boy] was perfectly fine with the friends they had! Plus, being alone wasn't so bad, privacy wise...



"..[N... ame]..!"

Furrowing [his/her] brows, the [female/male] blinked into space as a voice had somehow entered through to their headphones, causing their previous daze to falter while they flickered their eyes over to the cause of it. It was the Shion, of course. Not as if anyone else would bother calling out to someone who usually blended in with the crowd without much effort...

Stopping in [his/her] tracks, [Name] hesitantly waved at the grinning dark haired male who eagerly did the same before looking both ways and finally hurrying across the busy street to go meet up with our story's protag at the corner. "I wasn't expecting to catch you out during this time, usually I'd find you home," the taller male panted briefly, that goofy little smile still plastered to his cheeks. "Well it's actually a good thing that you didn't come over, ugh.. my place's a mess right now." [Name] scoffed slightly, pulling out the other earbud, but then they momentarily froze at hearing the small laughter escaped from Kaito, "Oh don't be silly, I'm sure it's not as bad as it seems. And I would've still came over to at least help, of course!" The [color] haired [girl/boy]'s breathing stilled, cheeks growing a tad darker than they should. Kind, gentle Kaito was laughing with such truthfulness....

"Hm? ..[Name]??"

Quickly shaking [his/her] head out of it, the [ruffles of curly/strands of straight] hair swaying around slightly, the [female/male] snapped out of it. Suddenly remembering what they was really up too: Head to the store on a few important errands then run STRAIGHT HOME.

But... this was now going to be a challenge with Kaito being here. "Uhm. Kaito, I... need to hurry now. Talk to you.. when I can?" It wasn't very discreet, no, it was definitely suspicious. But being the __-years-old they were, there was no way they were just going to come outright and say 'that'Oh, what a silly protagonist.

"..[Name], am I... a nuisance?"



"I..." The Shion tilted his head down, blue bangs overcasting his expression while a slight frown tainted his lips. "I sorta been told by my friends that the reason you may not want to hangout with me might be because... I'm annoying to you.. [Name], I'm sorry." The [color] eyed [boy/girl] stood their, mouth slightly parted in perpetual surprise, yet there was nothing useful coming to mind to respond to his words. "So, I'll... leave you alone from now on. But just this once.... could I just walk with you today?"

[Name] slowly bit into [his/her] lip, feeling at fault for the way the Shion was feeling. If this was really what he wanted then.... then..


"...W-Where would you like to go?"


Slowly, Kaito looked up, eyes wide and trembling before he wiped away invisible tears with his sleeve, a weak smile crawling onto his face again, or at least as best as it could. "I-It... doesn't matter. We don't even have to go anywhere really. Taking a stroll is good enough for me."




Well, that was a lie. Not that it was Kaito's fault, honestly.


Our sluggish protagonist and the beloved Shion had dashed from place to place... to place. This is NOTHING like just a stroll. Very true; Kaito's demeanor had shifted back to his sweet bubbly self and like [Name] expected, his attention span was really thin. But besides that this all still seemed like a complete waste of time for the shorter [girl/boy]. For Pete's sake, the pair had even brought a scruffy quilt, (all the blue haired male's idea), just because it had their favorite colors and Kaito thought it absolutely was adorable. What made it all the more embarrassing was how cuddly he was when they walked together, so of course the [girl/boy] could do nothing more but blush and quietly scoot away.

Though through it all, Kaito was very... kawaii desu★彡


His short, glossy midnight blue hair drooping just above those twinkling, bright royal blue irises with thin lashes framing around them, and to complete it all, his melancholy chuckling grin and energetic tone was the cherry on top. It all got [Name] thinking, when did [he/she] meet such a bundle of joy? Or more importantly, what did Kaito find interesting in [Name] anyhow? ...It had to be just 'puppy love'. Still, this statement alone had aroused more questions for the [boy/girl].

"Neee [Name]-[insert honorific]~" In that split second, the smiling boy had dipped his head down so that he could blink into those dazed [color] hues up close and personal. wink, wink

"Waaagghh..!?" The [flustered/uncomfortable] protag had stumbled back, almost forgetting about the other passing pedestrians. "Eheh, sorry.." Kaito sheepishly mumbled, instinctively wrapping his hand around the [boy/girl]'s waist to guide them away from the rapid collision of the crowd. This action alone had made our protagonist blush immensely. Now [Name] wasn't sure if [she/he] was feeling 'sexually frustrated' or... that bubbling pain from earlier. Whatever the case, this closeness wasn't good since there was a chance that 'something' might slip out.

Brushing away from him, [Name] groaned, "Ugh. W-What is it? In fact.. could we just hurry it up already, I... think I-I wanna go home now."

Good, good. Just play it cool, [girl/dude]!

Kaito was hesitant but regardless he still gave a nod of understanding, however just as he was about to respond... he heard a tune.. A tune so familiar to his heart--

"K.. Kaito?" [Name] craned their head to the side, [color] eyes puzzled but in that same second [she/he] did, they were grasped by the wrist with superhuman strength and FWOOSH!!

The poor [boy/girl] was dragged off in the direction of that irritating noise.

"I-IDIOT..! S-Slo... Slow down!" No matter how much [Name] had cried out, there was no stopping this ravenous beast that was once the gentle Kaito. Dashing and swiveling from corner to corner, the wheezing blue haired male had came to a drastic stop, seeing a greater heaven. A heaven greater than collecting a delicious treat from an icecream truck... Right there before him was a scrumptious dessert café. "H-Haah.... guh.. Oi!! What the hell is--" The [length] haired [boy/girl] froze, eyes catching sight at what the male was drooling at while the musical truck slowly vanished. What was probably a gift to the heavens for Kaito, was a terrible omen for [Name].

..Oh no....

A female staff member who was helping her friend clean one of the outdoor tables had turned in surprise before giving a warm smile. "Oh? Greetings you two! Please come on in ☆!"

・・・・・ No.

Unfortunately, our currently pathetic protag could squeak out a simple hello, nevermind an objection. Instead, the [complexion] [boy/girl]'s knees trembled as they could smell the sickening goods from where they stood, it was already causing [Name]'s intestines to rumble in protest. And so, like a chained puppy, the [female/male] tugged their wrist weakly at Kaito's never-ending grip, whimpering with cloudy and watery eyes. Yet this oblivious sweetheart hadn't noticed their partner's efforts not one bit... "Ah! We sure will. Table for two please! C'mon, [Name]~"





The wait for a table wasn't necessarily bad, in fact worse was much more expected considering the chattering occupied customers inside rather than outdoors. And to Kaito's delight, [Name] and him managed to get a windows seat in one booth. Though unlike the evident shaking of the [curly/straighten/etc.] haired [boy/girl] across from him, Kaito seemed too elated.

Finally at last, a waitress similar in age to the two had clicked on over in her uptight uniform, though in [Name]'s perspective she was equally bubbly as the Shion here. In fact everyone here was. As if they was all sharing some inside joke that [Name] was left out on... "Now what would you like to order, lovebirds~?"

The [female/male] almost tumbled out of their seat, [color] irises widening and then narrowing further up at the waitress with her southern accent. "Eheh. It was... a joke. I thought someone had to speak up on how nervous you look, [m-ma'am/s-sir]," the worker corrected herself quickly, giving an apologetic grin to the glaring [boy/girl]. However momentarily [Name] had paused to glance over at Kaito in search for his response to the statement, yet our protagonist flinched at the blushing smile that glued to the blue haired male's features, having to shyly raise his menu higher to hide his face.

Are you serious..?!  Σ(゜ロ゜;)

[Name] quickly looked down, heart thumping against their chest, and so in a panic [she/he] blurted, "W-We... WE'RE JUST FRIENDS..!!"

Something shattered. And [Name] was willing to bet it was Kaito's hopes.

"Is, uh, that so..?" The waitress mumbled uncomfortably as she blinked a couple of times at the pair, until finally she shrugged. "What a shame, this fellow seems like a real cutie pie too. I mean he seems to have no problem with your [gender/appearance]--"



Knuckles clenched and shaking, the impact with [Name]'s fist to the table had caused a few stares from others around them. Biting [her/his] lip, the blushing [boy/girl] took a moment to calm their self-esteem before unintentionally squeaking, "...D-Don't you have other tables to serve, Miss??" The waitress almost wanted to comment on something else entirely again but she figured she already got somewhat of an understanding of whatever feelings our protagonist was trying to hide, and with that, she thought it'd be best to comply and move on before all this attention even alerted 'The Boss Man'.  "Just a sec', first I need to get to you two first! Al'righty then, what will it be?"

Finally, the oddly quiet Kaito had spoken up, the excitable twinkle appearing in his eyes again. "Let's see... oooh!  Could we get the 'Raspberry Syrup Cheesecake

Delight'? Oh! Annnd also the 'Cheese Curd Tart', the 'Strawberry Cheese-Lemon Flavored Shortcake', the 'Cream Cheese Sorbet', the 'Ricotta and Chocolate

Mousse Milkshake' along with the 'Cream Cheese Cinnamon Rolls'!! And I think lastly..!"


SO. Much. Fucking. CHEESE!!

Even the waitress was baffled with all these creamy items and was growing tired with having to jot down all these LARGE word combos, but thankfully the male had stopped at the last order: 'A Blend Berry Sundae'. "T-That... all?"The staff member was hesitant to question but she cried out of joy on the inside once she saw Kaito give a chuckling nod. Bowing, the waitress took her cue to leave and hand in this huge order. A few minutes into their wait, [Name] finally facepalmed [herself/himself] as they grumbled out, "Ugh. Screw that lady..! She practically just called me [ugly/gay]!!" As the flustered [boy/girl] crossed their arms with an irritable pout, slowly after they felt the constant stare from the Shion, and once [Name] looked across the table the male was just gazing so innocently as if lost in thought.



"Ah, well... before, when you blurted how we were friends, it.... made me so happy."



"I-It's just that... [Name], I never even thought you would label me as a friend much like how I do for you. That.. made me so relieved. Especially since I had my doubts of us actually being close." Kaito flashed a toothy grin as a lighthearted chuckle escaped him. This, however, only made the [color] eyed [female/male] stop to think themselves.  Kaito...  But now something was nagging at [her/him] greatly. Something... they should've asked long before all this sudden 'puppy love'.


"Hm?" The blue hair of the boy swayed to the side as he tilted his head.

".....W-Why are you so nice to me? It's... strange."

T-There. I said it...



"...Hey [Name], remember the time we first met? It was.. also the very first we had talked."


The pitter-patter of the rainstorm pounded harshly upon the slight shield that the bus stop had provided from above. Yet there, slumped in one of the empty seats, was a boy with hair as blue as the night of the sky who was already far from drenched. From afar, it seemed he didn't even care about his soaked clothes and face, but continued to at least snuggle part of his face into his matching blue scarf for some warmth.

At a time like this, he should be home. And it wasn't that he needed to travel far enough that he'd need a bus, in fact home was but a few blocks away. Though the male couldn't will himself to get up and move, and it wasn't only because of the terrible weather; he was upset by something that happened back home. [[A/N: Let your imagination fly with this one, readers...]]

Dull eyes lifted upwards slightly as his ears heard splashing footsteps nearing, but he didn't bother looking the culprit's way as they came to a stop. Sure, this silence wasn't all his any longer, but he also understood that he wasn't the only unfortunate person wandering around in this storm.

Slowly he felt the person's presence draw closer and closer until they had finally took the last empty seat beside him, a sniffle being coming from them after. All this yet the male merely played with the end of his blue scarf boredly. Keeping his gaze at the wet ground no matter how repetitive the person's stare was directed at him. With ten minutes in total passing, the unidentified civilian spoke up, "..Er, do you... maybe have the time?" Blinking over dully, the blue haired male saw a drenched [boy/girl] waving their cracked and dripping phone around, as if indicating that an accident happened along the way here and now this [female/male] was left without the time."....No." The taller male in comparison had echoed before flickering his eyes back to the ground, ears drowning out all sounds besides the rain again. "Oh.... okay. Uh, thanks, I guess.." The [length] haired [boy/girl] mumbled in return before sighing out loud. Well, they should've expected that, considering the only thing useful the male had on was that scarf.

More seconds followed, and soon it had turned into minutes. But it only took half as long as the last time for another word to be exchanged, "....[Name].."

The blue eyed boy involuntarily looked back over at the [hair type; ex.: *brunette*], the [boy/girl] clarifying,
"...That's my name.. [Name]."


The blue male slowly realized what was trying to be accomplished, and he supposed it wasn't exactly harmful. Right..?
"...Kai.... to."  

"K.. Kaito?" [Name] repeated a bit more clearly, and even as Kaito had nodded, it still had this unfamiliarity to it yet [she/he] sworn they heard it before. But in the middle of a storm like this, did it really matter? "I see. Well it looks like we're gonna be sitting here for awhile... Man, I hate when the weather does this!" As the [boy/girl] groaned a bit lazily, Kaito had managed to get a better look at [her/his] facial features, particularly those [slanted narrowed/big round] [color] eyes. Automatically, his memory had saved the image of this person but it was still something memorable to do so anyhow with the way those [electric blue/chocolate brown/etc.] eyes reflected against the pooling water around their feet.

Here, at this moment, was when their lives intersected one another. In the cold silence of the rain.




"...You know, it didn't take long for you to fall asleep there, [Name]. I can understand that you must've been really tired but it's still unbelievable how ANYONE could fall asleep during a freezing rainstorm like that--"

"S-Shut up..."

Kaito stifled a giggle once he noticed the threatening frown on [Name]'s face soon after, and so he felt he should get back to the point. "Still, I sat there, even when I could've gone home..... I sat there with you till the bus came and woke you up. Why? Well..." The Shion stopped to think, turning his head towards the open view window. "I don't really know. But no matter how upset I was back then, I just know it wouldn't have been right. Besides, we were on a first name basis, that's like the best of friends for complete strangers!"

"..W-Weirdo." [Name] huffed, slowly puffing out their blushing cheeks as they put their nose in the air a bit snobby. Though Kaito didn't mind it all, instead he had dazed out and even said something mind numbing to the [boy/girl], "Since then, I guess you could call it puppy love, but... I wanted to talk with you more [Name]. Even if it was yet again going to be awkward like in that storm-- I just wanted to get to know the person that seemed to lift my spirits, even if I were the happiest guy in the world.. In short, talking with you like this and all your rejections... still all means so dear to me. So..... it's okay. I just want you to be honest with me, even if you can't get comfortable." As the blue haired male trailed his eyes back over to the dilating pupils of the [female/male], he gave yet another slight smile as he muffled a giggle, "Besides I find it cute with the way you act, so I always thought you were just shy♥"

"A-AM NOT..!!" The [hair type] yelled, their [complexion] cheeks only growing darker before the [boy/girl] fiddled with their fingers, pondering on something with importance. "O-Oi... Kaito?" [Name] called out in a whisper, biting their lip again before exhaling,  "I'm..... I'm sorry." The Shion blinked a few times but before he could speak up on it, [female/male] continued, "The thing is, about what you said earlier about leaving me alone from now on... I-I NEVER SAID Y-YOU HAD TOO..!! ....I like t-talking.. with you too. It's just that I get so nervous around you-- I mean c'mon, a-after such a weird encounter, I didn't expect that you, er... w-wanted to see each other again. I found you suspicious, and I'm sorry for sorta ridiculing your innocence.."

As the [length] haired [female/male] frantically tried their best not to look back up at the quiet blue eyed boy, he could only think one thing, and accidentally his thoughts had slipped out into the open, "...[N-Name]-[honorific] so[moe/shotacon]~"

Instantly, the [hair type] went from awkwardly shy to angrily flustered, pounding their fist on the table once more as a vein throbbed in their forehead. "GRRR, Y-YOU AND THAT WAITRESS BOTH COULD GO TO HELL..!!"




"T-That's... That's all of it..! Phew...." As the waitress had finished placing all the desserts on the table with the much needed help from another member, her hair and uniform was no longer tidy as she fanned herself with her notepad. Kaito simply didn't notice the distress of the female or maybe his attention was quickly averted to all the mouthwatering treats in front of him, though more towards the frozen dessert ones. "THANK YOU SO MUCH! Ahahaha~ You'll earn a well deserved tip from us once we're done for sure!" As the excitable male winked with praise, the waitress merely scoffed, staggering away as she muttered, "You bet your tuckus, I will..."

Kaito swirled his head back to his dear friend, eyes sparkling as he held up more than one utensil... for himself. "C'mon [Name], LET'S PIG OUT!!!"

Munch, munch, munch~~



Munch. Munch. Munch.

..Just from the smell... I already feel the need to run to the bathroom for a #2..


munch... munch.... munch..?

"Neee.... [Name], why aren't ya' eating..?" [Name] flinched upwards as [she/he] looked up at Kaito's dripping icecream lips and bulging cheeks while he blinked confusedly. It was adorable... if only the milky substance didn't want to make the [boy/girl] vomit. Swallowing what was filling up his mouth, Kaito wiped some of the mess on his face with a napkin before furrowing his eyebrows in concern, "Did you... not want any of this?"


"U-Uh.... w-well..."




"..I-It's all really good! H-Honest! Here... try this!" Kaito made a hasty action in scooping up some of the ordered sundae before holding the dripping piece up to [Name]'s mouth. Though there were two things HORRIBLY wrong with this:


1) Kaito was offering the same spoon that he had just used... From his very own plush lips.... THAT WAS PRACTICALLY AN INDIRECT KISS IF [NAME] WERE TO ACCEPT THE OFFER!!!  ⁄(⁄ ⁄•⁄-⁄•⁄ ⁄)⁄
(Oh. My. GAWD--!!)


2) ...This small little scoop, nay, just even a DROPLET of that milky substance were to trickle down the [hair type]'s throat and KABOOM..!!  An embarrassing, so very humiliating, accident would happen RIGHT THERE.

Shuddering in what seemed like disgust, [Name] slowly shook their head, lips sealed tight. And they almost felt apologetic at seeing Kaito's devastated expression, as if a loved one just passed away. "...O-Okay, eheh... hehe.... I-I get it. Not everyone likes icecream, ah, b-but.. what about this~!?" As much of a struggle it was for the male to spit that out, he then switched over to the cheesecake, eyes twinkling once again in hope. Yet [Name] only cringed, sinking back further in [her/his] seat of the booth; the trembling was enough of an answer for the pouting Shion. But he moved on anyway, scooting closer as he slid over the milkshake, (that surprisingly came with a couple's straw). Kaito had blushed a bit too happily and in return the shorter [boy/girl] grimaced over at him as if threatening him to NOT come any closer withTHAT piece of garbage...  coughs, coughs.....  So the blue haired male had slid that away since he actually valued his life.

"Haaah... Wow, [Name] you're really picky, huh?"

"..I'm just... not that into sweets.."

"Ehhh?? W-Well... how about these?! D-Don't they smell delicious?? Just one lil' bite, pweaseee~"

"Ugh. Y-You were just doing fine eating ALL this by yourself..." The [color] eyed [female/male] grumbled timidly, weakly glaring at the cream cheese cinnamon roll that Kaito held up next. "B-But..." Kaito squeaked slightly, having the [hair type] look over at him slowly, and boy did [she/he] regretted it. "[N-Name], it... wouldn't be any fun without you joining in too! This... this is the very first time we've hung out like this for an entire day! S-So..!" As those blue eyes became all big and watery to compliment the shaking frown plastered to his face, Kaito had ultimately succeeded in the puppy dog look.  Crap...  Breathing in, [Name] slouched in their seat, pouting in defeat. "..O....Okay. But--"


"GREAT! Now, [Name], say 'Ahh-nn~' ♡ " The way Kaito's sadness had shifted so suddenly had threw the [boy/girl] off (and maybe even pissed them off a little), causing the [complexion] [female/male] to shriek, "HEY! Y-You did that purpose-- MMPF..!!" And just like that, the creamy roll was stuffed into [Name]'s mouth by the grinning Shion.

The world stopped for our protagonist; the fattening dessert coincidentally sliding down [her/his] throat and dropping like a rock in the [female/male]'s stomach. Yet for Kaito it kept spinning and reflecting the rainbows of 'Complete and Utter Happiness'. They were both losing their holds of reality, in a.... odd way.

"Ahh~ [Name]-[honorific], this is one of the best days of my life~"

Wha..? Is he... IS KAITO HUGGING ME..?!!

"Mmm~ Ne, you're more snuggly than I thought, how amazing..~"

T-Too.... tight!! Don't.. DON'T SQUEEZE ME...!

With Kaito nudging his cheek against [Name]'s throughout his bear hug, he didn't care nor mind who saw, in fact he continued spewing out little alluring compliments as if... this was an actual date. But little did he understood that the more he hugged tighter and tighter.... and tighter, the shorter [boy/girl] was battling with their insides until finally--

A noise sounded. It was small but definitely audible especially considering if you were close enough. A few customers had looked around in a daze while Kaito had paused, slowly pulling away slightly to look at [Name], the both of them blushing in madness.

That noise, that escaped out of [Name], was.....


A fart.



"... [N-Name]..... Um. Y-You... well--"

"..NUUUUUU!! I-IT'S NOT M-MY FAULT, Y-YOU IDIOT..!!"  In an flash, the [complexion] [boy/girl] had landed an uppercut upon their icecream loving friend, knocking him out quick and falling to the ground with a dramatic thud. The customers and staff gasped and yelped. [Name] jolted out of [her/his] seat, storming out of the café in humiliated tears, leaving Kaito to moan out 'tsundere~'   before he faded into blissful unconsciousness.

This was why.... [Name] swore to [herself/himself] to never be seen with that idiot in public again.

......That day, our poor lactose intolerant protagonist's self-esteem had decreased even more.




 What a  disgustingly-cute  love story.