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Holding Out , Holding On

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-      1999   -

   ( 6 years old )

 

Your dad left on another trip for work again. But he promises that he’ll be home soon and you believe him. He never breaks his promises to you ever. It’s only been a few days but you miss him already.

You hope he keeps his promise.

 

-    2002  -

( 9 years old )

 

It’s career day at school, just another reason for that loneliness to creep into your heart again. One of your classmate’s mom is speaking on the “excitement” of being a florist. Boring. You’d rather hear your dad speak about being a marine biologist it’s a lot better than any of the presentations you’ve seen today. But he’s still working overseas.

You hope he misses you as much as you miss him.

 

-   2006  -

( 13 years old )

 

The house is silent again as the usual, except the living room is filled with your mother’s soft sobbing. It’s always this way after she tries calling your dad only with no success. You’re tired of your mom crying after your dad night after night, just to hear his voice. You know it’s wrong to be mad at him but you just can’t help it after all he’s done. Heading up into your room to try and get some sleep, you start to wonder if your dad still loved you.

You hoped he still loves you.

 

-  2009   -

( 16 years old )

 

Your dad can rot in hell for all you care.

Life for you and your mom became tough after the divorce. Waking up late in the night to find your mom crying over something you can’t understand from how slurred her voice is. Only for her to pull it all together in the morning to drop you off at school. She really did love your dad. 

Fuck him for not realizing how much she loved him.

Fuck him for not realizing that he had a family waiting for him for years.

He’s probably living a new life all on his own without any care in the world.

You hope to never hear from that bastard again.