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Casual Stuff That Happens

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“Okay, everyone knows it doesn’t count unless you’re an actual lezzie, that oral is just casual stuff that happens,” Angie is explaining. “Also, it doesn’t count if you’re drunk at all, unless there’s penetration, because if you’re sober enough to get hard, you’re sober enough to know what the eff you’re doing.”

Angie is explaining why it’s okay that Kate and Angie are going to make out and maybe do more if the mood strikes them.

First, pregnancy hormones apparently make you really horny. Which Kate knew from reading, but hadn’t realized was getting to Angie until Angie stuck her tongue down Kate’s throat after a really touching duet of “Time after Time.”

Second, girls kissing is not always gay because it can be ‘casual stuff that happens.’

Kate has discovered everything not penis-in-vagina intercourse can be classified as ‘casual stuff that happens.’ Also anal. Kate’s pretty sure that’s not casual stuff that happens. But otherwise, all lesbian sex can be de-gayed if you say it’s not gay. This is the truth according to Kate’s baby mama. Who is in no way gay.

Third, they’ve already been making out for twenty minutes, so this conversation is going on because Kate freaked out and said, “wait! wait! I have a boyfriend! You had a common-law husband! We are not gay!” because Angie had put Kate’s hand on her boob during said make-out session of twenty-minute duration.

“I mean, I don’t see why yunz gotta freak,” Angie says. “I’m super, super horny, and you don’t want me going out and having some guy put his thing near your baby, right?”

Kate gapes. Indeed, there’s a lower place for her surrogate to go.

“You haven’t…done that…right?” she asks.

Angie rolls her eyes and sneers. “No,” she says. “I’m just explaining why it’s stupid to get uptight. Plus, you liked it. And that’s okay, because I learned how to do some awesome Frenching cuz Carl, he got real bored if we didn’t have variety.”

It is true Angie can kiss with tongue and a minimum of drool, but this is wrong. This is some serious fooling around with a woman and Kate has gotten enough inquiries about lesbianism in her life to know that she should not be testing the gay-straight border unless she’s willing to admit she’s at least bi and she likes Melissa Etheridge for more than her rockin’ guitar and bravery in the face of breast cancer.

And Kate doesn’t have time to reexamine her sexuality with all that’s going on in her life. Rob is a good thing. He makes her happy. Angie is…well, Angie is licking her lips and looking at Kate like she’s tasty.

“Did you ever listen to Melissa Etheridge and get really horny?” Kate asks suddenly.

“No. Who’s that?” Angie asks.

“Never mind. This is for the baby, right? I’m protecting the baby from your raging libido,” Kate says.

“I don’t know. I was just trying to get you to touch my hoots and maybe lick yours,” Angie says with a shrug. “Cuz you got a nice rack.”

“Let’s do that,” Kate decides. After all, she does have a nice rack, and after the drought of long standing, having Rob lavish attention on them and Angie and Kate having casual stuff that happens, it’s like Kate’s won the lottery of boob-touching.

And maybe that’s not as good as having a baby, but it is…wow. Angie is really good with her tongue.

“Dude, everyone makes that same squeak. Weird,” Angie says, fondling away at Kate’s breasts.

“It’s an impressive act of tongue,” Kate replies before swooping in. “Is there a time limit when this turns gay?”

“Dunno. It’s casual stuff that happens,” Angie says with a shrug. “You don’t have like, a bunch of stupid rules for casual stuff that happens.”

Oh. Well, that makes sense and Kate is getting really horny, so back to the making out, then.