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Unspoken

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The game is over.

It’s been nearly ten years since you and your friends won,
and now you work at a coffee shop. You have a degree,
but it’s the only place hiring, so you make due.

It’s been nearly four sweeps since you and your friends won,
and now you work at a desk job. You wanted to join the military,
but Karkat and Feferi “need you here” for the rebellion, so you make due.


It’s boring.

You hate it.

But it is what it is.

When she walks in the shop you recognize her immediately,
even without the horns.
You chat for a bit
and she slips you her number.

When he walks in your office you recognize him immediately,
even without the dull buck teeth.
You talk business
and he gives you his trollian handle.

(she even uses the 8’s for b’s)



(ghostyTrickster)

You start talking. A lot.

She likes spiders, and movies, and roleplaying.
She has issues with her mother.
Sometimes she breaks 8-balls
just for the fun of it.

He likes shitty movies, and pranks, and coding.
His lusus always bakes him grub cake.
Sometimes he leaves buckets out
just for the fun of it.

She doesn’t know the name “Mindfang.”

He doesn’t know the name “Nic Cage.”

You give it a shot anyways.

Your first official date is at a movie theater
just down the street from where you work.

Your first official date is on a small moon
just a short trip from the satellite where you work.

She steals most of the popcorn.

He greets you with a hand-buzzer.


She laughs at all the right parts.

He laughs in just the right way.


She holds your hand.

He holds your hand.

At the end,
she leans in close.

At the end,
he leans in close.

The date ends with a kiss.
It makes you nostalgic for a time
your universe doesn’t remember.

Things move quickly from there.

You’re introduced to her tabletop roleplay friends,
first by their name
and then by their character.

You’re introduced as John Egbert,
boyfriend.

You’re introduced to some of his co-workers,
first by their name
and then by their job title.

You’re introduced as Vriska Serket,
matesprit.

She meets some of your friends, too, but not the three that matter.
They know you have a girlfriend,
but you spare them the details.

You’d rather not hear Rose’s psychoanalysis,
anyways.

He meets some of your co-workers, too, but not the eleven you're risking your life for.
They’re busy with the revolution,
and they've no time for your quadrants.

You’d rather not hear Karkat’s criticism,
anyways.

You try to ignore it,
but sometimes the resemblance is a little too uncanny.

You see her in the way she:
talks, exaggerating everything
counts everything in eights
treats spiders with care

You see him in the way he:
walks, lighter than air
laughs after he pulls a prank
cannot stand the thought of cake

And sometimes you wonder
what it’d have been like

To be with the girl who killed you.

To be with the boy who listened to you.

Would you have gone on that date?


You think
of all the things
you could have shown her.

You think
of all the things
you could have taught him.

You think
of all the
missed moments
and wonder

Could you have lived with a troll?

Could you have lived as a human?

You’ll never know.

 

 


And yet.

One day
you’re surprised to find
that despite everything
you’re happy.

Sometimes,
you wonder if you should tell her about the game you played with your friends.

And about the girl with fangs and candycorn horns,
who just wanted to be a hero.

Sometimes,
you wonder if you should tell him about the game you played with your friends.

And about the boy with buck teeth and blue eyes,
who was destined to be a leader.

(Sometimes,
she wonders if she should tell you
about the troll boy she once knew.)

(Sometimes,
he wonders if he should tell you
about the human girl he once knew.)


Things best left unsaid.