"Right" Dean exclaims with an exasperated sigh, wiping the dripping blood from his face, "Three vampires and a few werewolves…"
He dodges a swiping claw, "…a couple" grunt "damn" thud "ghosts!"
"Oh look, a banshee, fan-fucking-tastic!" he groans, firing four (salt) rounds in its direction—hey, it might work at killing the blasted thing—with his shotgun and knifing a passing werewolf.
"Dean duck!" Sam yells behind him. Dean obligingly tackles a revenant to the ground, stabbing it with his (silver) knife, while Sam fires three (silver) shots over Dean's head and takes out another charging werewolf. Grumbling curses under his breath, Dean turns towards the familiar face of Caleb and accepts the offered hand up—only to dodge out of the way a second later when the most-certainly-not-hunter attempts to stab him with a knife. Dean raises his own knife in retaliation and the creature shifts and takes off running. Dean doesn't bother to peruse: it will be back and there are plenty more fish to fry—er, monsters to kill.
"A cursed shape-shifter who's confusing the Hell out of everyone," he continues his litany as if he hadn't been interrupted, "and…Sam, Jo, look out!" he shouts, firing a few (useless) shots at the wendigo that had snuck up on the hunters. Fortunately, Jo has a flare gun (how she obtained it, he does not want to know) and manages to set the damn thing on fire. One less fugly in the fray.
"Dad!" Sam gasps, and Dean turns in time to see John being tumbled head over heels by something very large and invisible.
Ellen, Dean, and Caleb—he assumes that it is the real Caleb, seeing how this one isn't trying to kill them—fire salt rounds at the 'air' directly above John. An unearthly, howling shriek splits the night, and the beast dies…fortunately remaining as insubstantial as it was invisible. John leaps back to his feet and nods his thanks, before returning to the chaos.
"And if there are hellhounds roaming around, then it's not a far stretch to assume that there are also demo—" Dean's rant abruptly cuts off as he wheels around and comes face to face with a human he doesn't know. Speak of the Devil (hopefully not literally…dear God that he doesn't believe in, please don't be literally!).
"Cristo!" he snaps, and unsurprisingly its eyes bleed to black. He raises his knife and both of them freeze: the demon in fear and Dean in remembering only too late that Bobby has Ruby's knife. A slow, leering smirk crosses the demon's face as it realizes that Dean can't kill it, and in a move too fast to follow it lunges for his throat…!
…only to be brought up short by a hand firmly grasping its throat; a hand suddenly emanating bright, white light. The no-longer-occupied body is released and slumps to the ground. Dean stares into the face of his (not!)guardian angel, trench coat pristine as ever.
"Hello, Dean," the angel intones lowly.
"That's pretty nice timing Cas," the hunter returns in a light tone, as if they are discussing the weather in a park.
They both ignore the suspicious glares that John, Caleb, and Jim throw in their direction, as well as Sam's fervent insistence of "No Dad, don't shoot! Cas is on our side…yeah, I know he popped up out of nowhere, but really!" blurted out in intermittent intervals between monster killing. In fact, the entire battle could be imaginary, for all the attention they're giving it. It helps that the evil beasties are studiously avoiding the very-powerful-divine-being in their midst (until they can figure out just how dangerous this guy is and what to do with him) and subsequently avoiding Dean due to his extremely close proximity to Heaven's soldier. Personal Space, Cas, seriously.
"I thought you were very, very occupied with the pissing contest going on in 'Paradise' right now?" Dean asks, part curious, part sarcastic, and part in denial of knowing exactly where this conversation is going to go.
"I am," Castiel replies solemnly, as usual failing to elaborate.
"Then why are you down here? Now, you know, and not an hour ago when this," he makes a sweeping gesture to the chaos surrounding them, "started?" still stubbornly refusing to consider the implications of Cas's presence on the battle field. Because really, the demons are bad enough.
"Raphael blames you and your brother for the failure of the apocalypse. As he most heavily resents my aid to you, he concentrates his assassination efforts mainly on me. However, he received word that the 'entities of evil'," and here Cas uses air quotes, much to Dean's private amusement, "had decided to for once and for all eliminate you and Sam, and decided the opportunity was too good to pass up."
"What do you mean, 'too good to pass—' " Dean begins, resigning himself to the inevitable and already looking around for the blasted feathery dicks. His attention is quickly drawn back to Cas when the angel makes an aborted movement—eyes focused on Sam, who is struggling with a person of inhuman strength. And if it were a demon, Sam would have ganked it already. Shit.
Raphael's crony draws back to finally smite Lucifer's vessel…and Castiel's arm whips forward, his sword buried in the other angel's chest a moment later. A brilliant light explodes from the baddy, leaving Sam (who had been rather resigned to dying…again) and the other hunters (who'd never seen an angel, let alone one dying), in something of a state of shock.
Dean turns back to Cas only to find him already gone, half-way across the field and slamming into (assumedly) another angel. He works his way back into the fight and picks up his cursing where he left off.
"Hordes of demons all over the place," and here he is interrupted, cornered by a snarling demon rushing towards him on one side and a charging angel on the other. He takes a running dive at the last possible second and they smash into one another, a rolling ball of squawks, shrieks, and invisible feathers.
"Frickin' angels popping up left and ri—"
He dodges away from a massive, swiping lamia, straight into the arms of a band of…ghouls, who squeal with glee only to be brought down by a series of shots a second later from…Bobby who in turn tosses Ruby's knife to Dean just in time for him to stab it through the heart of a…demon sneaking up behind him and Dean is suddenly slammed into and tackled by a…vampire who came out of absolutely nowhere, who struggles with Dean for a few precious seconds until it is decapitated by…Caleb, who doesn't even stop in his run and keeps going, hammering into the shapeshifter—knife straight through its heart—only to be nearly eaten by an enormous…bear, that is to say skinwalker, but it is shot by…Jim, who is simultaneously chanting an exorcism on a demon who is attacking…Ellen who is fighting to get to…Jo who is struggling with a…witch, who's casting curses on…John, who's grappling with a…'nother werewolf who was just seconds ago lunging at…Sam, who's trying to get to…Dean, who's…
…who's about to be destroyed by a very gleeful demon—that is, until said demon suddenly sprouts an angel sword. Well, Dean always maintained that there was one badass angel in Heaven who wasn't a dick.
"Thanks Cas!" he shouts over the general commotion.
"You're welcome, Dean," the angel replies nonchalantly, completely unfazed by the chaos and calmly smiting yet another demon. Yep, don't mess with the little nerdy dude with wings—and that most definitely includes his charge.
There is a faint lull in the battle around Dean, and he turns to Sam (who has finally reached him).
"So…here we are, fighting the denizens of Heaven and Hell, let's not mention the fuglies of Earth…" he fires three shots into a wailing ghost and knifes a passing demon while Sam takes down two more werewolves and another skinwalker. Dean turns a shit-eating, jovial grin on his brother.
"Does this scream 'Winchester Family Reunion', or what?"
Sam groans and rolls his eyes, pulling an epic combination of bitchface #27, I cannot believe I'm related to you, and #54, where do you get these ideas?.
"Shut it, bitch."
Obligatory comments over, Sam rolls his eyes again and runs back into the shrieking, snarling, bloody, violent fray, Dean hard on his heels. Ellen and Jo are taking out the lamia, Jim is sparing with two vampires, Caleb is pummeling a poltergeist with an iron crowbar, Bobby and John are decimating the ghoul population while simultaneously bickering over every topic under the sun—er moon (including just who's responsible for the current state of affairs), and Cas pops up behind Dean to join in the demon smiting that he and Sam are engaging in.
Oh yes: definitely a family reunion.