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Girl Talk

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“…yeah, yeah, uh huh. Nope. He’s not here. Nah, not tonight, maybe another time? He’s got a plan for tonight. Yes, one of THOSE kind of plans.” Laura dropped her cell phone as she tried to balance it on her shoulder and twist a band around her hair. “Sorry!” se yelled as she finished with her hair and bent to retrieve the phone.

“Allie? Sorry, I dropped you. What were you saying about O’Neill? Wait, is this Jack-the-General O’Neill or Jon-the Clone O’Neill? Oh, hush up you, I can call him that, he’s on my team too. So, is this an actual date-date or is it another one of those let’s go sit next to each other at movie night non-dates?”

She eyed her hair critically and tugged the band tighter around each pigtail. She pulled a face at the mirror and bounced on the balls of her feet, smiling at her reflection. “I feel like I’m back at Worchester High,” she laughed and tilted her head then leaned in to check for wrinkles. “Except I didn’t have gray hairs and laugh lines back then. I think this outfit makes my ass look huge.” She turned and eyed her rump, snorting at the ridiculously obscene short length of the pleated yellow and white skirt. “Oh, I forgot to show it to you! It’s part of the plan. Yes, another dress-up. Hey! My boyfriend is not a weirdo, I like playing too.”

At least her boobs hadn’t started to sag. Laura plucked at the very tight letterman sweater. She turned from side to side checking that everything looked right. “A cheerleader. Stop laughing at me, Allie, or I won’t share my sex life with you anymore. Okay, you’re forgiven. Yes, I was a cheerleader. Okay, for two weeks, then I punched Stacy Slater in her perfect nose and got kicked off. I wonder if Jon would go for a foursome sometime? It might get confusing though. ‘Oh, John, oh, Jon, faster John, harder Jon!’” She held the phone away from her ear as Allie ranted for a full minute at her for her suggestion.

“It was just a thought,” she said as Allie calmed down. She sat on the edge of her bed and picked up her bobby sox and pedal pushers. Where Sheppard had managed to find the shoes - in her size no less - was a wonder. If they’d been in Pegasus, it might have been an embarrassing arrangement, which would have necessitated Lorne’s involvement to get the proper requisition paperwork lined up. Laura started to chuckle. “Oh, I was just thinking of John having to explain to Evan about his latest fantasy.”

The shoes were a little tight, but she doubted she’d be wearing them long. She stood and stomped around the room a little to get used to them. Checking the clock, she blinked in surprise. “I’ve gotta get going, Allie, I have to meet John soon. And I gotta use the bathroom before I go. I’m meeting him at the corner. It’s part of the deal. Of course I made a deal, he gets what he wants, then I get what I want. You know how we work. Uh huh. That, of course, I always want that. And a foot massage. He’s getting really good at them, must be all the practice he’s getting since we instituted the Fair Trade Policy.”

Checking the mirror again, and admiring the way her hair bounced, damn, she was rocking this look! Sheppard SO owed her for going along with this one. “You want what? I dunno. How do I know you won’t post them somewhere embarrassing? That’s true, I’d cut you off forever. Do you want with or without the stake? Well, duh, I’m a cheerleader, of course I stake vampires. Yup. Yup. I didn’t know either, in the closet there. All seven seasons, and the spin-off. Who would have guessed? Nope, he didn’t want to be a teacher. He started singing that eighties song about not standing close to me. You know the one,” Laura started humming the Police song. “Yeah, that one. He wants to be a thousand year old vampire that seduces me. You know, I don’t know if he bought himself fangs. I swear, if he bites me with fangs, I’m upping the deal to an all day trip to the mall with him as chauffer and bag boy AND he’s buying me lunch at Ruby Tuesday.”

Squeezing her thighs, Laura bounced up and down as Allie started telling her what else to renegotiate for. “Allie, I’m doing the pee-pee dance here! No. I hate that. I’m hanging up before I go to the bathroom; you are not hearing me pee, ever! Okay, okay, I will. Love you too. Bye-bye.”


“Excuse me; do you know how to get to West Pelham Drive?”

Leaning down into the open passenger side window, Laura made sure he could see down the v-neck of her tight sweater. She peered closely at his mouth and was mildly disappointed to see he had not done the fang thing. She had concocted an elaborate payback scheme in her head. She smiled, tossed her pony tails and waved to her right with one yellow and white pom pom. “Sure, Mister, over that way, down a street and then over by the gas station… you know what, why don’t I show you? I’m going that way, you can give me a lift, I’m late for practice.”

John leered at her and leaned over to open the car door. “Sure. Hop on in, little girl.”