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Plans for a Wedding

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‘Yeah, Data?’

‘We will need to replicate approximately one thousand small bags of rice.’

* * *



‘This guide to wedding etiquette suggests that my best man should be my closest friend, or a close male relative. Even if Lore were in reach, I am not sure he would want to participate, or that it would be wise to have him aboard. And you are my closest friend, but you clearly cannot be my best man.’

‘Well, who’s your second best friend?’

‘... that is a good question. I will give it some thought.’

‘You do that. I’m going back to sleep.’

* * *  


‘Data… I know you’re excited but I have the early shift.’

‘I am sorry. It can wait until morning.’

A pause. A sigh.

‘No, tell me, what is it?’

‘I have prepared a list of menu suggestions for the wedding breakfast, ranging from...’

‘No, I was right, it can wait until morning.’

* * *



‘I have been searching the cultural database for suitable ceremony readings, and I have narrowed my selection to...’


‘Yes, Geordi?’

‘We got engaged seven hours ago.’


Find the Right Venue


Geordi frowned. ‘Data, it’s a nice idea, but I don’t see how we can invite the entire crew to the ceremony. Ten Forward just doesn’t hold that many people.’

‘We could raise the partition between cargo bays one and two and use the upper levels too,’ Guinan suggested. ‘It’d still be a squeeze, but it should be manageable.’

Data’s eyes lit up.

‘To be honest I was picturing something a little more low key,’ Geordi admitted. ‘Like, I don’t know, just a few close friends and family?’

‘The Enterprise crew are my family,’ Data said, guilelessly charming.

Geordi gave in gracefully, because how could he not?


Choose the Attendants


Once the venue was decided, Geordi was all for Data’s plan to have all the little girls on the ship be their flower girls.

‘Why not?’ he said. ‘It’ll be cute!’

‘I am glad you agree,’ said Data, so seriously that Geordi couldn’t resist kissing him, distracting them from planning for several minutes.

Of course it was more complicated than that.

Less than two hours after they sent the message out to the parents and guardians, the boys (and thaans and chans and all the rest) started complaining that they wanted to be flower girls too. And a dozen of the girls said they would, but only if they didn’t have to wear dresses.

‘What do you think?’ asked Geordi. ‘Sounds ok to me?’

‘It will require designing additional attire,’ said Data thoughtfully, making a note on his dedicated wedding PADD.

Arrange Entertainment


Data wanted the string quartet. Geordi wanted Commander Riker’s jazz band. Things got a little heated.

In the end they decided that the quartet would do nicely for the ceremony and the early part of the evening, and the jazz band could take over later.

‘That was almost our first big fight, Data,’ Geordi teased.

‘I am glad that it was not,’ said Data.

‘I guess instead it was our first big compromise,’ said Geordi. ‘I think I like that better.’

‘As do I,’ Data agreed.


Write Your Vows


‘Data,’ said Deanna, ‘this is beautiful!’

Data beamed. ‘Do you think Geordi will like it?’

‘I think he’ll love it,’ she said. ‘But...’

‘... but?’

‘Don’t you think six pages is a little long?’

Data frowned. ‘I wanted to properly express both my connection with Geordi and my intentions and commitments for our marriage.’

‘And you’ve done that, wonderfully… but why don’t I help you cut it down a little, just for the ceremony? You can keep the full version to show Geordi afterwards.’

* * *

‘Geordi, you’re supposed to be in love with Data,’ Deanna sighed.

‘I am in love with Data!’ Geordi protested. ‘I’m just… not that great with words… about feelings… y’know. Uh… help?’

She took the PADD he’d just been reading aloud from. ‘All right,’ she said. ‘I’m not going to do it for you, but I’ll help. Tell me in your own words what you want to say, and we’ll make it sound nice.’

‘Thanks, counselor,’ Geordi said. ‘I owe you one.’

She just rolled her eyes and smiled.

Plan Your Honeymoon


‘Geordi,’ said Data, ‘I have made a list of seventy-three possible honeymoon destinations, with notes of their positive and negative attributes.’


‘I cannot decide. You should choose.’

‘You got stuck, huh?’

‘There are too many variables,’ Data admitted. ‘There is no logical way to decide which would be best.’

‘And how long have you been working on this problem?’

‘... all day.’

‘Weren’t you in command on the bridge?’

Data pouted. ‘I have a total linear computational speed of sixty trillion operations per second. I was paying sufficient attention to my duties.’

‘But you still couldn’t pick anywhere?’

‘... no.’

‘All right,’ said Geordi, moving up on the couch so that Data could sit, and then stretching an arm around his shoulders, ‘let’s see what we’ve got...’

Enjoy Your Day


Almost a thousand people squeezed into the combined cargo bays. Almost a hundred children dressed in adorable outfits preceded the grooms down the aisle. Spot wore a tiny garland of flowers. Guinan wore her biggest hat. The captain performed the ceremony.

The vows were exactly the right length, and everybody cried, including Geordi.

The string quartet played, and people danced. The jazz band played, and people danced some more. Data danced with Geordi’s mother. Geordi danced with Beverly. Data danced with Geordi. Beverly danced with Geordi’s mother. Worf sat in a corner and drank. Spot sat in a different corner eating a vol au vent she had stolen from one of the flower children.

In spite of all Data’s careful organisation, three people gave them the same sculpture.

Data didn’t let go of Geordi’s hand all evening.

* * *

‘Y’know,’ said Geordi, after the two of them had escaped to their quarters that night, ‘every detail was absolutely perfect. I wouldn’t change a single moment.’

‘Ensign Gomez vomited in a plant pot,’ Data pointed out. ‘And your father broke his wrist attempting an unwise dance move.’

Geordi waved a hand. ‘Apart from that. It was pretty much perfect. Don’t you think?’

Data smiled. ‘Perfect,’ he agreed.