Work Header

Sorry I'm not sorry

Chapter Text



Lexa smiled at the grumbling living lying next to her. Even after a year and half of sleeping in the same bed, the commander still often wondered how the girl managed to sleep on her belly, face buried into her pillow without dying of asphyxia.

“Clarke” she repeated, voice husky and low, right near the blonde’s ear.


Lexa gently kissed the blonde’s shoulder “Wake up ai kwin” Finally Clarke turned her head to the brunette, groaning. Lexa pulled a few strands of golden hair out of the girl’s face. Under the wild blonde material she found two tightly shut eyes and a half open drooling mouth. An amused chuckle escaped the commander’s lips “Clarke it is time”

Clarke groaned again and barely articulated “Fo wut…?”


“Yu no ai dunt do thaaAAh…”  the end of Clarke’s sentence got lost in a loud yawn and Lexa’s smile widened.

“But you promised”

Clarke frowned “No I did not”

Lexa smirked “I can affirm you you did”

The blonde thought and her frown disappeared “Shit you’re right I did”

“Now wake up, dress and come with me”

Clarke cracked an eye open and noticed the darkness still surrounding them. “It’s fucking night Lexa. Not morning. Mistake forgiven now good night” she turned her head to the other side.

With a toothy grin, obvious proof that Lexa was enjoying this game way too much, the brunette saddled Clarke’s back in a swift movement saying “But you promised…” with a fake pouty voice.

The blonde tried to hold back her sleepy smile but failed “Get your bare ass out of my back commander, I’m not one of your horses”

 “Indeed” said Lexa before leaning down and whispering, lips brushing the other girl’s ear “You are too lazy for that. Probably the laziest thing I have ever mounted”

Clarke smirked “Use all the dirty English lines I taught you if you want but I will not get out of this bed before the sun is up”

“Sorry. I thought you liked words better than actions” and Lexa started to trail slow, open-mouthed kisses along Clarke’s spine and the blonde could feel the confident smirk of the brunette on her skin. When Lexa reached the blonde’s lower back, earning a still half asleep moan, she stopped and after a pause, pinched the girl’s sides. Clarke literally jumped with a squeal. The commander tightened the grip of her legs on each sides of Clarke’s hips to maintain her in place as she pinched again.

After another squeal and jump Clarke, arched her back, contorting herself to look at her assailant and threaten her with menacing eyes, only saying “Lexa…” as a warning.

The commander raised her hands in the air, her most devilish, defiant smirk on her face.

“Oh no you won-“ this time it was an high pitched moan that swallowed the end of Clarke’s word when Lexa had pinched her sides again. The blonde tried to turn under Lexa but the commander’s legs were strong. The brunette pinched her again and again and Clarke’s squeals rapidly changed into fit of laughter “Ple- Please stop thaAHAH-t ! Lexahaaah” Finally Lexa let Clarke lie on her back. It gave her easy access to her prey’s belly so she just bent down and started licking the smooth skin while still pinching and poking the poor girl’s sides. “No ! Please Lex ! I- haha I swear to gohoood ! NO Lexahaa it tickles !”

Between wet kisses, Lexa said “You know what I want Clarke”

After a few more seconds of torture, finally Clarke gave up “I’m coming Lexa ! I’m coming !” Lexa raised into a sitting position and looked down at the blonde under her “That’s what you wanted to hear, wasn’t it ?” she asked with a smirk and a raised eyebrow.

The commander grinned proudly “This is always what I wish to hear when you are lying naked under me, Clarke”

The blonde rolled her eyes “Please you know that most of the time when I’m under you, YOU’RE the one begging”

Lexa stood picked up a top and pants from the chest in their room and threw it at the now sitting blonde in her bed “Here, put this on. As much as I enjoy the view I would not want to share it with Polis’ citizens”

“HA ! Eluding the subject ! Means I’m right !” Clarke puffed her chest and proudly crossed her arms.

Lexa snorted. She walked to the blonde slowly then quickly, almost violently grabbed the blond locks on the back of Clarke’s head and forced her into a bruising kiss.

Clarke chuckled and pulled back “Aw look at that, a puppy failing at being a wolf !”

Lexa shook her head and quickly dressed “I want you at the table for breakfast in ten minutes or I will make you regret it” she warned.

“What you say, Commander, what you say”



30 minutes later


“Le- Lexa, wait !” The brunette stopped in her tracks and looked back at the panting girl behind her.

“What ?”

“I- I can’t go further”

“Clarke, we have been running for less than fifteen minutes. You can’t be already tired”

“Of course I am ! I NEVER run”

“Obviously. But you should”

Clarke thought for a second then frowned “Wait what does that mean ?”

Lexa smirked, the point was for her “Because” and she stepped closer to the girl, rapidly looking around to be sure nobody could see “As much as I love this” she unceremoniously grabbed Clarke’s ass and squeezed “And this” she pinched the flesh on the blonde’s sides “It is not healthy”

Clarke’s eyes opened wide, red tainting her cheeks in less time than what Lexa thought humanly possible. “How dare you ! I’m not fat !”

“But you are not muscular either. In your body’s actual state you wouldn’t be able to win any fight, even with a raccoon as your opponent like last week”

“Hey ! Those things are stronger than you think !”

“Sure. Now we run”

Clarke rolled her eyes but followed. She wasn’t fat. She was curvy. Beautifully, womanly curvy. She nodded at her mental statement. But kept running, just in case…


10 other minutes later


“No but *pant* seriously *pant* Lexa, I can’t” Lexa sighed “This *pant* This is the last time *pant* I promise anything to you *pant* while we have sex !”

The brunette smiled. The memory of Clarke begging her, trading release for a small promise “Fine”

Lexa grabbed Clarke’s hands and literally dragged her to a clearing.

“What are we doing here ?”

“Stretching and meditation”

“Wait this is part of your morning trainings ?”

“Of course. It helps the spirit to connect with the body”

Clarke raised an eyebrow. Some words were burning her tongue, begging to get out of her mouth but the blonde held them in. Until Lexa insisted “It is essential for your body and spirit to be as tightly linked as possible”

“Your body seems pretty much enough connected to your body if you ask me…” She answered wiggling her eyebrows, juuuust to be sure the girl would understand the not so innocent subtext.

As if Lexa’s body had wanted to prove Clarke’s point on its own, the brunette’s eyebrows knitted angrily in sync with the smirk that curled her lips, completely discrediting Lexa’s next sentence “This is serious Clarke”

“Sure. Show me. Show me how you connect your mind and body”

Clarke crossed her arms, throwing an expectant look to Lexa and the brunette sighed. She started to take awkward positions, stretching each and every muscles, said muscles, clearly showing, rolling and tensing under Lexa’s exposed skin. Clarke would never let her go out in only shorts and bindings again. Never. She surprised herself nervously scrutinizing the forest, checking, wanting to be sure she was the only one to enjoy the delighting show in front of her. After a while she noticed that her bottom lip was literally stuck between her lips, that her thighs were not so subtly clenching and her arms had come down to hug her belly.

“Clarke ?”

Clarke jumped out of her daze at the sound of Lexa’s voice. She cleared her throat “Yes…?”

“Do you see what I meant ?”

“Yes” She gave the brunette a firm nod “I definitely understand how you stretching can connect my-, I mean your spirit to your body. Absolutely.”

Lexa frowned at the blonde’s strange behaviour but shrugged it off “It’s your turn”

Clarke’s eyes widened “What !?”

“Yes. Come here and stretch like I did”

“Nope.” She shook her head energetically “Nope. That would be a really, really bad idea. Let’s… Yes, let’s meditate instead !” Clarke needed to sit and cool down so she dropped herself on the floor and crossed her legs.

The brunette once again blamed Clarke’s refusal on the blonde’s natural laziness. “Alright” she sat cross legged in front of the other girl “Now close your eyes, straighten your back and breath, try to feel the world around you”

That, Clarke could do. Just sit and breathe and dream. Like when she was drawing, trying to take in everything the still new universe surrounding her had to offer. No, Lexa was the one being disturbed this time. She had made the horrible mistake to open her eyes and look at the girl in front of her.

The sun was rising and its orange, warm summer rays were grazing Clarke’s hair in a way Lexa had never witnessed. She was charmed, entranced, lost in the sight. She had no idea how many time she had spent just looking at Clarke in a daze but at some point the blonde had opened her eyes and… And burst out laughing. Lexa got terribly, unpleasantly dragged out of her thoughts.

“What ?”

“Puahaha ! Lexaha ! Oh ! Oh my god ! Haha”

Lexa frowned, vaguely offended “What is it ?”

A minute or two of intense laughter later Clarke managed to explain “You… You were just- *giggle* just staring at me super serious and all and-“ the blonde got lost in another fit of laughter before finally wiping her wet eyes, taking a deep breath “An acorn just fell on your head and… You didn’t even noticed ! I’m pretty sure even a pine nut or a raccoon couldn’t have disturbed you !” Clarke laughed again and Lexa’s cheeks reddened.

The commander patiently waited for the girl to calm down. Clarke silent, she stood “Now we run back home, bathe and head to the meeting”

“Right. Let’s go home”


Easier said than done. Polis had been waking up slowly during the time they spent in the clearing and people had started to fill the streets. People Clarke had learned to know. People that had learned to know Clarke. People that looked way too much surprised to see the girl out of bed so early in the morning to the blonde’s liking.

Lexa smirked.

“Come on Lexa that’s enough”

“It is not my fault Clarke”

“Could you tell your people to stop to openly mocking me like that ?”

“They are not mocking you Clarke. Their smiles are a proof of the happiness they feel when their eyes fall on the beautiful partner of their adored Heda”

Clarke laughed “You spend way too much time with Raven”

“Your friends are indeed amusing Clarke”

That’s when the delicate voice of Octavia from the roof of a house, yelled “Remember Clarke, what doesn’t kill you…”

Clarke yelled back “Fuck off O, Even I can run without passing out but thanks for the advice !”

“Your friend just encouraged you, you could be nicer”

“Didn’t want her to have a heart attack and fall from this roof. Wait… What was she doing on this roof exactly ?”

“I do not know”



The run to their home had been easier to Clarke (her body fully awake and the promise of a good bath waiting for her, helped a lot).

As usual when they arrived the bath was ready, just waiting for Lexa to jump in. And obviously she did.

“Can I join you ?”

Lexa was pretty sure Clarke had went back to their bed to sleep some more before the meeting so she was surprised when the very naked blonde stepped into her bathtub.

“Clarke you do remember that we have a meeting soon right ?”

The mischievous smile on Clarke’s face wasn’t a good omen, of that Lexa was sure. Well good… She knew it couldn’t be good for the meeting at least.

“I just came here to bathe” the blonde said leaning on Lexa.

“I do not believe you”

“You’re right and you’re the only one to blame for that. I mean, YOU’RE the one that literally turned me on this morning” and she started kissing the commander’s throat.

Lexa swallowed “I would like you to come with me again tomorrow. If you promise you will I will let you do what you want”

Clarke pulled back, defiant dark blue eyes boring into calm green ones “Make me.”


No need to say that Polis’ citizen rapidly got used to Clarke’s early trainings with Heda.

Chapter Text

“Where the hell did they go !” Octavia complained, raising her arms in the air in discouragement.

“Dunno. But I hope they’re not too far because my leg is hurting as fuck.” Raven echoed Octavia’s bad mood and sighed, tapping her knee like an old lady.

“And… Why are we looking for them at this hour of the night again ?”

“Because Abby wants to make sure Lexa doesn’t have HIV ?” Octavia answered shrugging “How could I possibly know what our crazy over-protective moma Griff wants from them ?”

“Wait you didn’t ask !?”

“Of course not ! She was making her ‘don’t mess with me’ eyes ! And you know more than anyone else that when the Griff order, the Griff obtains”

A shiver ran down Raven’s spine as memories of Clarke’s mother fixing her leg using questionable methods flashed into her mind “Indeed…”

They walked in the dark woods for another ten minutes before Raven complained again “No but seriously, that couldn’t wait until tom-“ the girl’s last word caught in her throat when Octavia pulled her down violently behind the nearest bush “AOUCH ! What the F-“ but the other brunette silenced her with a hand on her mouth.

“Shhhhh !”

“MhmhfMnf !?” Raven mumbled silently against Octavia’s palm and the girl rolled her eyes, pointing to the clearing. It took a moment for Raven to identify the two sitting silhouettes but eventually when she did she pushed her friend’s hand from her face and said “We found them. Good. Now let’s bring them back to Abby and go to bed” Raven was starting to stand when Octavia pulled her down again “Ouch again what !?”

“Hush and listen to me. Look at them.” Raven adjusted herself behind (or, at this point, in) the bush, spreading the leaves enough to have a clear view. The two girls were sitting on the clearing’s ground, head turned to the sky, probably contemplating the stars. The girl turned to her friend with a frown “So what ?”

With a mischievous smile, Octavia started to sing “I can se what’s happening…”

“What !?”

“And they don’t have a clue !”

“Who ?”

“They fell in love and here’s the bottom line”

Raven was starting to question her friend’s mental health when she finally recognized the lyrics “Oh…” Octavia smirked and Raven face palmed “Oh no O, we’re not doing this…”

But Octavia continued “Let’s have a little fun !”

Raven raised an eyebrow, not seeing what her friend found funny in sitting in a bush, singing old children songs while looking at their friend painfully flirting using the oldest trick in the universe: stargazing. But under Octavia’s insistent, way too enthusiastic look, Raven rolled her eyes and complied,, wanting to be over with this as soon as possible “The sweet caress of twilight, There’s magic everywhere.”

Octavia clapped in her hands in joy, reminding Raven of the black, big, long, leg deprived, cute sausage-looking animals from the old world she had seen in documentaries on the ark “And with all this romantic atmosphere, disaster’s in the air !”

Clarke raised a hand to point something in the sky and playfully nudged Lexa in the ribs, earning a silent chuckle.

Octavia grinned and Raven smiled, knowing she had lost this fight she followed her friend by chanting “Can you feel the love tonight, the peace the evening brings”

The two brunettes almost burst out laughing at the accuracy of the lyrics when they finally noticed the grey ball of fur on Lexa’s lap, probably some kind of animal. “The world for once, in perfect harmony with all its living things !” They had to put their hands on their mouths and wait for a few minutes to recover from their repressed laugh.

After a while Raven said “Look at Lexa, offering our girl her best heart eyes” Indeed, Lexa’s gaze was focused on the girl while the blonde was still talking about the sky and the stars and who knows what else, a small goofy smile tugging at her lips but tainted by some unsaid things and Octavia couldn’t help but chuckle when her voice dropped an octave to sing over dramatically “So many things to tell her, but how to make her see…” Lexa’s smile dropped slightly and the apprentice dubbing actress pursued “The truth about my past-“ Lexa’s eyes fell on the ground “Impossible !” then back on the girl, expressing all the affection they could again and Octavia would lie if she said her heart didn’t swell a at least a little at this “She’d turn away from me…”

Raven waited for Clarke to stop talking and finally look at the sad looking girl next to her to start singing her part “She’s holding back, she’s hiding” Clarke took a pained expression and Raven added “The worse is I know why…” Why she had she decided to change the lyrics, Raven didn’t know but somehow it felt more right and as Clarke’s expression was becoming darker she sang “Why can’t they see he girl I know she is, the girl I see inside…”

Octavia’s smile too had dropped. She and Raven knew more than anyone else what Clarke thought about the Commander, that she wasn’t as tough as she seemed and that the blonde’s dearest wish was for the world to recognize Lexa for the beautiful person she was and not just the fierce leader they all knew. Well the two brunettes were still frightened by Lexa though.

But something interesting happened, Clarke leaned closer to Lexa and whispered something. The brunette laughed lightly and the two girls behind the bush smiled at each other and started to sing together “Can you feel the love tonight, no need to look too far” both girls looked at each other with a knowing smile “Stealing through the night’s uncertainties, love is where they are” They chuckled, before looking back to the clearing to find the best moments to finish the song but… the two silhouettes had disappeared.

They looked everywhere until they heard a familiar voice sing “If you were doing, what I know you were…”

Raven and Octavia stilled then turned back to look up to the two girls they had been looking for. Clarke, raising an eyebrow, continued “Then it can be assumed…”

The blonde turned to Lexa and Clarke’s two friends felt their hearts stopped in her chest as the Commander crossed her arms on her chest before singing in a rather, surprisingly beautiful voice “I cannot let this affront unpunished.”

The two brunette gulped audibly, frozen in place, not knowing what to do, their eyes fixed on the angry Commander towering them. Clarke squat in front of her two friends and with a smirk she added “If I was you I’d run.”

Without another second of hesitation, Octavia and Raven ran away, first on all four then on their legs screaming “Sorry Commander but duty is calling us elsewhere, bye !”

Then Raven added “What about Abby !?”

“Screw it !”

Octavia shouted “We’re disappearing for the night !”

“Good plan !”


The two girls out of sight, Clarke stood and faced the Commander with a smile “That’s funny how of all the songs on earth, the one that managed to survive the apocalypse was this one.”

“That is because it was waiting for us to illustrate it” Lexa answered with a smug smirk and Clarke rolled her eyes .

“Don’t be too full of yourself Commander, or no ‘love tonight’” Clarke winked and Lexa chuckled lips curling at the implication.

“You seem playful. We should prank your loud friends more often” Lexa said, resting both of her hands on the blonde’s hips, pulling Clarke against her.

“Naaah, they wouldn’t survive it” the blonde slipped her arms around Lexa’s neck with a mischievous smile “And I don’t need them to put me in the mood to play with you Lexa.”

Lexa was about to kiss her favorite blonde (and more if Clarke’s dark eyes and the warmth between Lexa’s legs were any indication) when something tugged at her the leg of her pants. The brunette pulled back reluctantly and looked down. With a sigh, Lexa bent down to pick up the grey animal.

“But first, let’s bring this raccoon back to my mother. I fear she kills someone out of worry if we don’t.” Clarke said, stepping back.

“Why a raccoon ?”

Clarke smirked “Maybe it’s in our family’s genes…” Lexa frowned but the blonde cut her train of thoughts with a quick peck on her lips “Come on Commander or morning will catch us up and well, we don’t really want that, do we ?” she added, walking in the direction her friends had taken, before biting her lips, just to be sure her Commander would finally remember how to move her legs and rush home.

Lexa swallowed visibly before following Clarke’s lead with an almost timid “No we don’t.”