The Sound of Silence
November 1, 2010
Dean woke up promptly at five a.m. He glanced down at his wife a small grin tugging at the corners of his mouth. He shifted ever so slightly so not to wake her. Sometime during the night Lexi had taken up her usually position, which meant she was practically laying on top of him with her face tucked into his neck. Her tendency to use him as furniture used to annoy the hell out of him but now he realizes it's her way of feeling safe and protected. Dean is not about to take that away from her especially if it helps with her nightmares. Dean kisses the top of Lexi's head before untangling himself from her and quietly slipping out of bed.
He gets dressed in the dark, grabs his boots then tip toes out of the bedroom. He goes downstairs and makes himself a cup of coffee before heading outside. Dean goes to check on the animals first then cleans out the stalls. Sam can tease him and call him Farmer John all he wants but it doesn't bother Dean. He actually likes working on the farm. He gets to work with his hands and it keeps them all fed. It's been a year since the Pulse has hit and the country's still in the shitter. Dean knows they're one of the few lucky ones and he's not about to complain about it. They have a decent roof over their heads and a good supply of food. To Dean, that's what really matters.
After he takes care of the animals he goes to the back of the farm where the equipment is kept. He has to repair the header so they can harvest the rest of the grains Gavin had planted. Dean hopes he can figure out how to fix the thing. He's always been able to do repairs on cars and trucks but farm equipment? He's no clue. Around eight o' clock Dean stops working on the header. He's found the problem, now he just has to find where he can buy the part they need. Dean decides it's time to take a break. He can't do anything else with the header until he has the part plus he's starving.
Dean stands in the kitchen archway watching Lexi buzz around the kitchen while getting breakfast ready for their boys. The kitchen is particularly noisy this morning. The twins are arguing over Alec's unhealthy eating habits as Jake loudly tells Lexi what kind of birthday cake he wants this year. She looks over at Jake and smiles saying,“Ok, sweetie. Whatever you want.” She then turns back to the stove humming while she finishes preparing breakfast.
Dean can't help but smile at the scene before him. His family's safe, happy and arguing over stupid shit. It's exactly what he's always longed for. On the plus side, he loves to watch Lexi with their kids. But most of all, Dean loves to watch her with Ben and Alec.
The twins have changed so much since they took them in. Sometimes Dean forgets that they aren't normal ten year olds. He guesses that's good considering where Ben and Alec came from but that doesn't matter anymore. They're Winchesters now. His sons and nothing's gonna change that. When they took the boys in about a year ago, they were distant and unsure of how to act. They never had anyone show them any kind of affection. Dean knows it must've felt strange to suddenly have a mother. Especially a mother like Lexi. She was all about kisses and cuddles. Lexi went for the hugs with Ben and Alec right from the beginning. At first, they would stiffen up when she would hug them or ruffle their hair. Now though, they leaned into her touch and welcomed hugs. Dean supposed it might have something to do with the fact that she bakes them cookies and has that motherly warmth thing going on.
Dean knows first hand about that warmth. Lexi was the first person since his mom died that made him feel again. She made him feel alive. He felt loved, worthy. Hell, she's kept him human more so than Sammy ever did. All him and Sam seem to do is snap and snark at each other. Going round in circles keeping secrets and fighting. Sometimes Dean wondered why they even bothered. Sure they were brothers, family but Sam had always wanted out of their family. Not like Dean really blamed him for that. Their family was a freak show. For awhile, Dean thought they were cursed. Now he knows that's bullshit. He's finally happy and all it took was letting Lexi in.
He remembers the first time coming back from a hunt when him and Lexi lived together in that apartment in New Orleans. He had called her when he was two hours away to let her know he was safe and he'd be home soon. He came back from the hunt to find her in their little kitchen with flour on her cheek and hands. Lexi was baking him a pie. They way she smiled at him when he walked in the door, he could never explain to Sammy how that made him feel. Or why he'll always choose the safety of his wife and kids over hunting. Sam doesn't get it because he doesn't have kids. That's what led to this latest fight.
They've been laying low for the past five months since taking down Manticore. Dean wasn't missing hunting at all. He was enjoying spending time with his kids and being somewhat normal. Sam though, was itching to get back in the game. He kept telling Dean he couldn't sit around, that he had to get back out there. So Sam and Jackie started doing some small hunts here and there. But Sam wanted more. He wanted bigger hunts, he wanted his brother out there with him.
At the moment, Dean's content working on the farm with Gavin and helping Lexi with the kids. He'd much rather sit on the floor and watch Stella play with her toys than to go back on the road. This morning makes him want out of the life that much more. Dean finally enters the kitchen and smiles at Lexi as she walks past him to put breakfast on the table. Stella drops her bottle the moment she notices him and screams, 'DADA!' His heart does this little jumpy thing and melts at hearing her say his name for the first time. He scoops her up out of the high chair and into his arms. She smiles and says 'Dada' over and over again. He presses a kiss to her head, the smell of baby shampoo still clinging to her dark hair and Dean knows he's done. He's going to go tell Sam after breakfast that he's out.
Hunters don't have a long shelf life. That never bothered Dean before. He accepted that he'd probably die young and bloody. That was when he didn't have a family of his own, he had nothing but himself and his car. Things were different now. He wanted to be around to see his kids grow up. He wanted to see Ben and Alec shed the horrors of their fucked up childhood and live normal happy lives. He wants the same for Jake and Stella. He wants to be around for when Jake starts dating. Even though he doesn't want to think about it, he wants to be there when Stella goes out on her first date too. Of course, Dean's gonna scare the shit outta the kid and show him his massive gun collection. Dean already knows Stella's gonna be the one to give him hell. She already looks just like Lexi except for her eyes, she has his gold flecked green eyes.
“Did you hear her, Lex?” Dean asks his face all lit up while he sits at the table with Stella still in his arms, “She said Dada.”
“Yes I heard her.”
“Her first word.” He states smiling proudly. “I won.”
“That's only cuz you spoil her.” Lexi teases.
“I'm allowed to spoil her. She's my little princess.”
Lexi walked over to where Dean was sitting and places a cup of black coffee in front of him before smirking, “I'm going to remind you you said that when Stella's sixteen and driving you crazy.”
“Don't jinx me Lex.”
“I'm not jinxing you. It's the natural order. I was a daddy's girl too and then I turned sixteen. I met this hot older guy. Leather jacket, bad ass muscle car and we got in that car and...”
“Lexi!” Dean growled giving her his, 'Shut it.' look.
Alec looked between his parents his curiosity peaked. “What did you do Mom?”
Lexi shrugged smiling around the rim of her mug. “Oh, we got married.”