I open the door lead to the roof. Usually it’s forbidden for student to come up here, but I know someone who has no regard to that rule. Not that I care either. In fact, if it not because of that person, I would probably never come up here even though the view was great. We can see almost the whole city from here, including the beach we usually hang out at.
Soft spring wind greets me as I step out into the roof. It is a great feeling. It feels like the wind carries away my problems and allows me to relax and just enjoy the bright spring day. No wonder he absolutely loves it here. Here is his other favorite place in the school, other than the sport’s hall.
I glance around the roof, finding no one in sight. But I’m sure he’s here. My instinct told me so. I take several steps forward and turn around. The glaring sun makes me squinted my eyes to be able to see. A grin forms on my face as I see a pair of familiar slipper under the school’s water reservoir. Gotcha! I walk to the water tower and climb the side ladder attached to the wall. Sure enough, it’s really him.
Hiiragi Hitonari. Hito for short, though I’m the only one who calls him that. No other people dare to shorten his name. It gave me a sense of superiority, that he only allows me to butcher his name like that. It makes me feels that I’m special to him.
I crawl to his side. Just as I thought, he’s taking a nap. He always did that every time we had free period or if he ditched the class. I know why he always seemed so tired. Besides Minefuji’s training from hell that always left us exhausted at the end of the day, he still had to work to pay his bills. He loathes his father’s control over his life, so he left his house and rented a small apartment not far my house. It angered his father that he left home and abandoned his place at Hayamazaki High for a school like Kouzu. It’s only after a lot of coaxing from his mother and older brother that Hito’s father had grudgingly agreed to pay for Hito’s tuition and rent, but only that. He had to work to be able to pay the other bills. Sometimes his mother sent him money and food, but it’s not enough. And Hito hates to be dependent on other people. He’s the most stubborn boy I ever met, but I won’t have him any other way.
Unconsciously a smile crept on my face as I look at his sleeping face. He looks so content and relaxed, something that rarely happened when he’s awake. Hito’s always so tense when he’s around other people. He had this permanent scowl on his face that makes people reluctant to befriend him. I’m sure he only ever talked to me and others in team. He also talked to Sumire and Mika, but that’s because they’re my friends and always hanging out with us.
Automatically my hand reaches out to move the strands of silvery hair that fall over his eyes. I like touching his hair. It’s so soft, like silky strand between my fingers. I admit I had a little obsession over his hair. I always have this urge to run my fingers through his hair, feeling its softness. But so far I only able to touch his hair while he’s sleeping. I’m sure he’ll freak out if I ask to touch his hair while he’s awake.
I don’t know how long I just sit there while contently petting his soft hair. I actually wanted to stop several minutes ago, but he gave a soft whine of disappointment when I lifted my hand, so I continue to pet him. I’m not one who will refuse when opportunity presented itself in front of me. Who knows when I’ll be able to do this again?
Out of nowhere, an urge to bend down and kiss him attack me. I try to resist the urge. I mean, it won’t be fair for him, with him unconscious and unguarded like this. I really, really do not want to take advantage of this situation, but the temptation was too hard to resist. More so when he shifted his head a bit, as if he’s presenting himself to me in his sleep.
I succumb to my heart desire. I bend down slightly, keeping my eyes open even when I’m getting closer to him. Then, ever so slowly, our lips touched. His is exactly what I always imagine; soft and warm and oh so perfect. I do not dare to put any more pressure, in case he wakes up. The kiss only lasted for several seconds, enough to satisfy my need and curiosity.
I pull up and return to my previous position. My lips still tingle with the after-taste of his lips. This will be my most precious and guarded secret, one that I will bring to my grave. The kiss will be imprinted forever in my mind.
I smile a little sadly as I gaze at his still sleeping face. I know I like him more than just a friend. I think I might even love him. That freaked me out at first, but I accepted it rather easily after a heart to heart talk with my Mum. She said it’s okay for me to like another boy as long as I’m happy, that she did not care about my orientation at all. She never raised me to be prejudice against people who is different, and she won’t be a hypocrite on me. Have I told you how much I love her? She’s the best Mum in the whole world!
I’ve had my fair share of imagination that someday he will return my feelings for him, but I know it won’t happen. Hito’s straight as a ruler. It was proven enough when we secretly discussing the girls in Akihito’s porn magazines, and when he dated that girl several months ago. Granted they broke up three weeks after they got together, but he still dated a girl.
I decide I have given him enough petting. I give him one last pet before I flip down to lay beside him, gazing up into the wide blue sky above use. It’s beautiful and calming. No wonder he likes it very much. Maybe I’ll join him next time he goes up here.
Just lying there with nothing to do, enjoying the clear blue sky and feels the wind blowing softly makes me sleepy. My eyes are feeling heavy and my body gradually become relax and lethargic. My brain activities are slowing to the point where I’m dozing off. Maybe that’s why I don’t hear the rustle of clothes when he shifted again.
I open my eyes (where did I close them anyway?) and turn to my right, where he was sleeping just minutes ago. He’s awake now and he’s looking at me. His hair is even messier now that he’s awake. An unconscious smile tugging at my lips at the thought that maybe it’s only me that ever see him like this, all messy and disoriented from his napping.
“Hello, sleepy head,” I say with a sleepy grin. “Finished with your napping?”
He’s not answering my question, and instead asking me one. “What are you doing here?”
“Ditching class,” I answer him with a yawn. “D’you mind letting me sleep here?”
Hito’s not answering again. He’s so silent that I’m almost convinced that he has left and leaves me alone here to sleep. So once again I force my eyes to open (just when did I close them?). He’s still there, looking at me with some weird emotion I can’t understand in my sleepy state crossing his face.
My voice seemed to start him. “Oh. It’s fine. You can sleep here.”
I close my eyes and let my mind drift away, safe in the knowledge that he’s there with me. If only it can be like this every day, I’ll be one very happy boy for the rest of my high school life. I had no illusion that I can be with him forever after graduation. He’s smart. He can be easily accepted into those universities that had strong basketball club. Hell, he maybe will go to Tezuka University where his brother is. And me? I’ll be lucky if I can graduate with average grade, and be even more lucky if I got accepted in one of the local universities around here. But hey, why should I worry about what the future brings now when it’s more preferable to just enjoy the time I have with him? I’ll worry about the future when the time comes. No need to stress myself out.
Because of my sleepiness, it takes several minutes for my brain to register that a hand is petting my hair, like I did for Hito while he sleeps. It feels nice and it makes me relax even further. That is until I realize that it’s Hito who’s been petting my hair. I mean, who else will do it while it’s only the two of us up here? My heart beats a little bit faster. Why is he petting me?
Even though I’m curious as hell as to why he does this, I do not open my eyes and let him pet me. It feels really nice, and I’m reeling in the feeling of him touching me. I wish this could go on forever. His petting makes me sleepy and I’m ready to go to la-la-land any time now.
However, all thoughts about la-la-land disappeared from my mind along with my sleepiness as I feel a firm pressure on my lips. My eyes snap open and immediately I stare into his dark eyes, not even an inch from my own eyes. My brain activities halted as I lost my self in the sensation. The only thing that exists in my world at the moment is Hito and the fact that he’s kissing me.
. . . . . . . . .
Oh. My. GOD!!
Hitonari is kissing me!!
Involuntarily, I let out a moan and part my mouth a bit. He takes that opportunity to deepen the kiss. Our tongues meet and the battle for dominance ensue. He wins of course, but that’s because he had the advantage of being on top of me, not because any lack of trying on my part! His tongue is probing and mapping my mouth. I can’t help the moan that escapes my throat. It feels so good I had a hard time (no pun intended!) believing this is real and not a dream.
He pulls back when the lack of air becomes a problem. I make a disappointed sound. I want him to kiss me again, damnit! But even I had to admit it’s nice to have air in my lungs again. Geez, I never know kissing could be that suffocating. But that’s maybe because I’ve never been kissed before. I mildly wonder if there ever a person dying because of kissing.
I open my eyes (seriously, have I had no control whatsoever over my own eyes?!) to see him. He’s still hovering above me. His eyes sparkle with amusement and something else. And he had that smug smile that makes me slightly irritated on his face.
“. . . Hito?”
“Consider us even,” he said smugly, then roll over to sit beside me.
“Huh?” was my oh-so-intelligent reply. My brain’s still mushy from the kiss and it makes me can’t think straight.
His hand finds its way to my hair again and continues their petting. “You kissed me while I was sleeping, so it’s only fair that I got to kiss you when you’re sleeping in return,” he said “Isn’t that right, Akane?”
Have I told you how much I like it when he says my name? But wait. What did he say? A blush makes its way to my face the second I understand his words. Oh my God! He knows that I kissed him while he slept! But how could he know? Unless . . .
“You were awake?” I yelp as I scramble into sitting position away from him. My face feels so hot with embarrassment. Oh God! If I knew he was awake I will never kiss him!
‘But he’s not angry,’ a little voice in my head whisper to me. ‘He knows you kissed him, and he kissed you back. That must mean something, right?’
“I was never asleep in the first place,” Hito answers me easily.
I gape. “Wha . .? You . . .” I struggle to form a coherent sentence in my state of shock. After taking several deep breaths, I feel I’m gaining back my control. “You were awake the whole time?!”
I’m blushing furiously. I know I am. I don’t even need a mirror to know how red my face is now. And that Hito prat had the gall to snicker! The nerve!
“You bastard,” I yelled. “Why did you even pretend to sleep?”
“I don’t,” he said. “I was just closing my eyes. You were the one who assumed that I was sleeping.”
He’s right. Damn, but he’s right. When I saw him lying there with his eyes closed I just automatically assumed that he was sleeping. Oh my God! Note to self, next time makes sure he’s really sleeping before you do something to him.
I glare at him. Or at least I’m trying to. The amusement is still there, so I know I’m not doing a good job there. I decide to ignore it. I still have a question to ask.
“Why did you kiss me?”
“Why did you kiss me?”
“Don’t answer me with a question,” I cried. “And I asked you first, so you have to answer me first!” I know I’m being childish, but it’s not like I can help it. I’m only ever being this childish when I’m with him. And my Mum. And Sumire too, but that’s because I grew up with her and feels no need to hide my childish side from her.
Hito chuckles again. I like hearing his chuckles. “As I said, it’s only fair that I got to kiss you after you stole a kiss from me,” he said. “Now it’s your turn to answer.”
I’m flaming red again at the remainder. But even so, I feel slightly disappointed and sad. Is that really the only reason he kissed me?
“Of course not.”
I jerk up in surprise when I feel his hand lifting up my face, forcing me to look at him. My eyes widened when I see him crouching in front of me with serious face. Huh. I didn’t realize I ask that question aloud. I swear just seconds ago he was still at least three feet away from me. How the hell did he moved that fast and without me noticing it? And what is he doing crouching like this in front of me? I get the answer just a second later when he pecks me lightly on the lips.
“I’m not someone,” a peck, “who can kiss someone else,” another peck, “or another boy in your case,” another peck, “if I don’t like them.”
Hito ended his little speech by giving me another deep kiss that once again turns my brain into mush. I can only moan into the kiss and let him have his way with me. He only pulls back when air once again being a problem. I decide right then that I have to master the ability to breathe through my nose while kissing. That means loads of practice. And that equals more kissing. I feel giddy inside.
“So you like me?” I ask him after I regain a bit of my breath back.
“Yes,” he answers me promptly. He pressed our forehead together. One of his hands settles on my nape. His finger is rubbing soothing circles at the side of my neck. That feels nice. “So, what is your answer for that question, Akane? Why did you kiss me?”
“I wanted to taste you,” I answer him truthfully. “I didn’t think I had a chance with you ‘coz I thought you’re straight. I . . .”
He silenced me with another kiss. “You’re being silly,” he said after he pulls back. “Now that you’ve tasted me, what’s next?”
“Originally, I’ll just let myself content being your friend,” I said. “But now I want more. I want all of you, Hito.”
“I can do that,” he replies with a smile. I feel myself answering his smile with my own. Happiness I never experienced before fills my heart with its warmth.
I will never forget this day’s blue sky.
Review, please? Tell me what you think. Like it? Hate it? Please tell me!!
I sigh contently as I stare into the clear blue sky above me. They are so beautiful and calming. Just by looking at them make me relax and happy. They almost had the same calming effect as him. Well, he sometimes drives me crazy and irritates me with his brash behavior and seemingly thoughtless words, but that’s him. I won’t change him for anything or anyone in this world.
I am enjoying myself when hear the door lead to the roof opens and someone step out. I frown in annoyance. I came up here for some solitude and peace and I can’t even get that? Grudgingly I sit up and scoot to the edge of the rooftop. I have every intention to tell them to go away. This is my place and I really don’t appreciate any form of intrusion.
But hey, students normally don’t go up here because teachers forbid it. And there’s only one other people than me that’ll come up here. I’m proven to be right when I see a mop of messy black hair under there.
It’s Akane. I’m sure he’s looking for me. Of all people in this school, he’s the only one who can find me no matter where I hide. I go back to my previous position under the shadow of the water reservoir and lay there. I’m sure it won’t be quite long before he finds me up here. I close my eyes and enjoy the slow wind. And sure enough, soon I hear him climb the side ladder and crawl to my side. For reason I don’t understand, I keep my eyes close.
Tachibana Akane. He’s one strange boy, I admit that. That one trait has been clear ever since the first time I saw him in the field at our last game before graduation. Of all players I ever met, he’s the only one who ever talked back to his coach while being reprimanded. It really amazed me that he dares to do that. Not to mention he succeeded in ruining our last game to boot by starting the fight.
. . . . .
Okay, he’s not the one who started the fight. I did. I elbowed him on the face because of my bad mood. He only retaliated. But he kicked the wrong person. Don’t tell him, but I’m glad it’s not me whom he kicked that day. I heard the one whom he kicked couldn’t get up for at least three days.
Well, getting back to topic on hand. My meeting with Akane has changed me. Being with him, I find back my love for basket. Being in the same team with him allows me to play freely. He understands what I want from him even with the slightest signal. We’re completely in synch with each other; no one in the team ever able to keep up with Akane’s unpredictable style. Only me.
That little fact makes me feel special, even more so when Akane one day admitted it to me in private. I remember had to fight down the embarrassed blush that threatened to take over my face. I managed to keep my cool, but inwardly I was so very happy by his statement. I have my suspicion that Akane knew how exactly I felt, because he gave me this small knowing smirk.
Now when I thought again about that day, maybe it was then when I started to like him. It started with a simple crush, but it soon transform into something real the more I know about him. I became hyper-aware of him, like my gut feeling is in tune with him. I can always tell where his position inside and outside the field is. I had to carefully hide my jealousy of seeing him so close with Sumire. There’s nothing I can do about that. After all, she’s his childhood friend, something I can never replace. I had to content myself being his closest friend.
I don’t know how long he just sits there in silence. I can feel his eyes on me. It doesn’t make me uncomfortable at all; it only makes my heart beats a bit faster and my body feels warm. I wonder why he hasn’t done anything yet. Usually he immediately wakes me up, not just sits there and stares at me. Will he actually let me ‘sleep’ for once? I don’t mind at all. By simply being in his presence is enough to make me calm; enough to send me into a real doze instead of faking it.
But then I feel it. I feel his fingers brushing away the hair that had fallen on my face. I’m surprised. This is the first time Akane ever touch my hair. Not only that, he even starts playing with them. He’s running his fingers through my hair. It sent pleasant shiver through my body every time he comes in contact with my scalp. It feels so good that I unconsciously let out a disappointed whine when he retracts his fingers. I inwardly smile in triumph when his fingers return. I even turn to him a bit, wanting to nuzzle his hand.
My brain activities screech to a halt when I feel the slightest pressure of something soft on my lips. It only lasts for several (very) short seconds, but I still feel it. I’m shocked. I really want to pinch myself to convince that it was not a dream, but if I move then Akane will know that I’m not really sleeping. When my brain starts to work again, only one sentences run through my mind.
Akane kissed me.
That one sentence keeps repeating itself several times in my head. Then, after I got over the initial shock, several questions start to bug me. Why did he kiss me? What does that kiss mean? What prompt him to kiss me? Why now?
As confused as I am concerning that kiss, a rather large part of me is dancing happily in my head. Akane kissed me. There’s a possibility that he likes me, no matter how slim that possibility is. I know for a fact that a boy doesn’t just go and kiss his male best friend on a whim. There have to be some attraction, right?
I feel slightly disappointed when he stops petting me. But maybe it’s better this way. It’s time to stop pretending that I’m sleeping. I need to know the answer to my questions. I need to know if there’s really a possibility of us becoming something more than just a friend.
I let him settles first before pretending to just wake up from my ‘nap’. I slowly open my eyes and raise my body on my elbow. I turn to him and have to mentally strengthen my control. Akane lays beside me, so vulnerable and tempting. How easy it is for me to just bend over and kiss him?
“Akane?” I make sure to slur my word.
He opens his eyes and looked at me.
“Hello, sleepy head,” he says with a sleepy smile and I feel my mouth go dry. Does he even realize how cute he is right now? “Finished with your napping?”
I need a few moments to find my voice back. “What are you doing here?”
“Ditching class,” Akane says before he yawns widely. “D’you mind letting me sleep here?”
My mind went blank. Mind? How can I mind him sleep here with me? If I have my way, he will have to accompany me every time I go up here for a nap so I can cuddle him. Not necessarily cuddling, of course. We can do so much up here, ranging from something innocent to something not-so-innocent.
His voice startles me out of my daydream consisting of me and him in a very compromising position. I inwardly shake my head while trying to remember our conversation. What were we talking about? Oh, right. “Oh. It’s fine. You can sleep here.”
He closes his eyes again, shifting several times in search of comfortable position. I see him becomes relax and smile sleepily. I can’t contain myself any longer. He’s just too tempting. Unconsciously, my hand reaches out and plays with his hair, much like what he did with mine earlier. I usually don’t like touching anyone, but this is Akane I’m touching now. I enjoy feeling the softness between my fingers when I run my hand through his hair. I feel him tensed a bit, but he quickly calming down again. Maybe he doesn’t think I will touch his hair?
Now is the next step. My heart is beating madly in my chest as I bend over him. I keep my eyes open. I want to see his expression when I . . .
Our lips touched. As expected, he tensed and snapped his eyes open. I can see his confusion and barely hidden want in his dark eyes. I add the pressure on his lips, letting him know this won’t be like the chaste kiss he gave me earlier.
His eyes slid close again as a moan escaped his mouth. I use that chance to deepen the kiss. I can’t even describe how I feel when our tongues meet and battle for dominance. I win of course. He tried to dominate the kiss, but I won’t let him. He quickly surrendered to me, though. I happily probing and mapping his sweet cavern, earning myself another moan. I can taste the fruit milk he had just before the lunch ended earlier. It actually didn’t feel that bad, and my brain had already registered it as ‘Akane’s taste’.
I reluctantly pull back when I realize (with great distaste) that my lung has been screaming for air. I smirk slightly when I hear his disappointed moan. That almost makes me go back kissing him, but I refrain myself. We need to talk after all. However, I don’t move from my position hovering above him. I greedily drink on the sight before me. Akane’s face flushed red and his lips swollen from our kiss. His eyes dilated with want and longing. I like seeing that in his eyes. And it feels good to feel him under me. I know he sees the amusement in my eyes when annoyance seeping into his own. So adorable. . .
“. . . Hito?” His voice laced with confusion. It makes me want to play with him a bit.
“Consider us even,” I said smugly, before reluctantly roll over him to sit beside him.
“Huh?” He’s really adorable when he’s all flustered like this. I need to touch him, so once again I begin petting his hair.
“You kissed me while I was sleeping, so it’s only fair that I got to kiss you when you’re sleeping in return,” I explain to him. “Isn’t that right, Akane?”
I see a shiver run through his body when I say his name. Huh. I never thought I had that effect on him. He blushes heavily for a moment, before his face loses all the color when he finally understands the meaning behind my words.
“You were awake?” he yelps as he scrambles away from me. The blush has returned full force with embarrassment.
“I was never asleep in the first place,” I replied him easily.
“Wha . .? You . . .” Akane’s jaw drops as he struggles to form understandable words instead of garble. It must be a shock to him knowing that I was awake when he kissed me. “You were awake the whole time?!”
Have I tell you how adorable Akane is when he’s blushing? He’s so cute, all flustered like this. Unknowingly a chuckle escapes my lips at that thought. He makes me want to kiss him again. I’m considering going to him and just doing that when he yells at me.
“You bastard! Why did you even pretend to sleep?”
I blink. “I don’t,” I said. “I was just closing my eyes. You were the one who assumed that I was sleeping.”
He knows I’m right. I know how his brain works in situation like that. I can picture it perfectly in my mind. I’m sure it goes along line like this: ‘Hito plus roof plus closed eyes equals napping’. It’s lucky he’s so simple-minded in things not related to basket.
“Why did you kiss me?” he asked me, which I reply with my own question.
“Why did you kiss me?”
“Don’t answer me with a question,” he cried. This is one thing that he found frustrating of me. I tended to answer his question with a question of my own. Am I wrong if I want to see him angry at me? He looks even more beautiful when angry. “And I asked you first, so you have to answer me first!”
Ah. So predictable. That’s what I like about him. Other people said Akane’s too unpredictable, but to me he’s as easy to read as an open book. But I notice he only behave like this when he’s with people he’s really close to. It means it’s only me and Sumire that ever see this side of him.
I chuckle. I might as well answer his question if I want him to answer mine. “As I said, it’s only fair that I got to kiss you after you stole a kiss from me. Now it’s your turn to answer.”
He’s blushing again. It’s not easy to make him blush, so I prided myself of being able to do that. I can tell he actually doesn’t want to answer that question, but had to do so anyway, as I had answered him. But then his expression fall a bit and I hear him mumbling something that sounded like ‘is that the only reason he kissed me?’ I immediately crossed the distance between us and crouching in front of him. I hold his face on my hand as I force him to look at me. I need to make him understand that that kiss wasn’t just some retribution for what he’s done to me.
“Of course not,” I said softly. His eyes widened in surprise and insecurity. I lean forward and give him a peck. “I’m not someone,” a peck, “who can kiss someone else,” another peck, “or another boy in your case,” another peck, “if I don’t like them.”
I ended my speech by giving him another deep kiss. He happily responded to the kiss with a moan. I seriously can spend the day with just kissing him. He’s so addictive. I love tasting him, feeling him surrender under my kiss. With dismay I once again pull back when my lungs screaming bloody murder at me for abusing them. Stupid lungs. Don’t they know I was kissing Akane?! Stupid, stupid lungs!
“So . . . you like me?” I hear him ask me in breathless voice.
“Yes,” is my prompt reply. I press our forehead together as I placed one of my hands on his nape. I can’t seem to separate myself from him. Unconsciously, my fingers move on their own account to rub soothing circles at the side of Akane’s neck. “So, what is your answer for that question, Akane? Why did you kiss me?”
“I wanted to taste you,” he answers me. I can see he’s telling the truth. He’s not the type of person that can easily lie to people who is close to them. “I didn’t think I had a chance with you ‘coz I thought you’re straight. I . . .”
I silenced him with another kiss. I fleetingly wonder how can I survive being separated from him and not being able to touch him whenever I like if we’re in the company of others. Well, I’ll think about it later. For now I’ll just enjoy kissing him.
“You’re being silly,” I tell him after I pull back. “Now that you’ve tasted me, what’s next?” I need to know the answer to this question. Will he agree for us being more than friend or will he stop whatever it is between us now before it can develop into something more? It’s all up to him. I will respect whatever choice he makes, even though it surely will kills me if he decide he wants to stay in just being friends.
“Originally, I’ll just let myself content being your friend,” he said and my hope rose. He said ‘originally, so that means he has changed his mind, right?’ “But now I want more. I want all of you, Hito.”
A smile tug on my lips and I let it. I never smile so wide in my life before. I feel so happy I won’t be surprise if I combust with happiness right now.
“I can do that.”
This day’s blue sky will forever be implanted in my mind.
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