I open the door lead to the roof. Usually it’s forbidden for student to come up here, but I know someone who has no regard to that rule. Not that I care either. In fact, if it not because of that person, I would probably never come up here even though the view was great. We can see almost the whole city from here, including the beach we usually hang out at.
Soft spring wind greets me as I step out into the roof. It is a great feeling. It feels like the wind carries away my problems and allows me to relax and just enjoy the bright spring day. No wonder he absolutely loves it here. Here is his other favorite place in the school, other than the sport’s hall.
I glance around the roof, finding no one in sight. But I’m sure he’s here. My instinct told me so. I take several steps forward and turn around. The glaring sun makes me squinted my eyes to be able to see. A grin forms on my face as I see a pair of familiar slipper under the school’s water reservoir. Gotcha! I walk to the water tower and climb the side ladder attached to the wall. Sure enough, it’s really him.
Hiiragi Hitonari. Hito for short, though I’m the only one who calls him that. No other people dare to shorten his name. It gave me a sense of superiority, that he only allows me to butcher his name like that. It makes me feels that I’m special to him.
I crawl to his side. Just as I thought, he’s taking a nap. He always did that every time we had free period or if he ditched the class. I know why he always seemed so tired. Besides Minefuji’s training from hell that always left us exhausted at the end of the day, he still had to work to pay his bills. He loathes his father’s control over his life, so he left his house and rented a small apartment not far my house. It angered his father that he left home and abandoned his place at Hayamazaki High for a school like Kouzu. It’s only after a lot of coaxing from his mother and older brother that Hito’s father had grudgingly agreed to pay for Hito’s tuition and rent, but only that. He had to work to be able to pay the other bills. Sometimes his mother sent him money and food, but it’s not enough. And Hito hates to be dependent on other people. He’s the most stubborn boy I ever met, but I won’t have him any other way.
Unconsciously a smile crept on my face as I look at his sleeping face. He looks so content and relaxed, something that rarely happened when he’s awake. Hito’s always so tense when he’s around other people. He had this permanent scowl on his face that makes people reluctant to befriend him. I’m sure he only ever talked to me and others in team. He also talked to Sumire and Mika, but that’s because they’re my friends and always hanging out with us.
Automatically my hand reaches out to move the strands of silvery hair that fall over his eyes. I like touching his hair. It’s so soft, like silky strand between my fingers. I admit I had a little obsession over his hair. I always have this urge to run my fingers through his hair, feeling its softness. But so far I only able to touch his hair while he’s sleeping. I’m sure he’ll freak out if I ask to touch his hair while he’s awake.
I don’t know how long I just sit there while contently petting his soft hair. I actually wanted to stop several minutes ago, but he gave a soft whine of disappointment when I lifted my hand, so I continue to pet him. I’m not one who will refuse when opportunity presented itself in front of me. Who knows when I’ll be able to do this again?
Out of nowhere, an urge to bend down and kiss him attack me. I try to resist the urge. I mean, it won’t be fair for him, with him unconscious and unguarded like this. I really, really do not want to take advantage of this situation, but the temptation was too hard to resist. More so when he shifted his head a bit, as if he’s presenting himself to me in his sleep.
I succumb to my heart desire. I bend down slightly, keeping my eyes open even when I’m getting closer to him. Then, ever so slowly, our lips touched. His is exactly what I always imagine; soft and warm and oh so perfect. I do not dare to put any more pressure, in case he wakes up. The kiss only lasted for several seconds, enough to satisfy my need and curiosity.
I pull up and return to my previous position. My lips still tingle with the after-taste of his lips. This will be my most precious and guarded secret, one that I will bring to my grave. The kiss will be imprinted forever in my mind.
I smile a little sadly as I gaze at his still sleeping face. I know I like him more than just a friend. I think I might even love him. That freaked me out at first, but I accepted it rather easily after a heart to heart talk with my Mum. She said it’s okay for me to like another boy as long as I’m happy, that she did not care about my orientation at all. She never raised me to be prejudice against people who is different, and she won’t be a hypocrite on me. Have I told you how much I love her? She’s the best Mum in the whole world!
I’ve had my fair share of imagination that someday he will return my feelings for him, but I know it won’t happen. Hito’s straight as a ruler. It was proven enough when we secretly discussing the girls in Akihito’s porn magazines, and when he dated that girl several months ago. Granted they broke up three weeks after they got together, but he still dated a girl.
I decide I have given him enough petting. I give him one last pet before I flip down to lay beside him, gazing up into the wide blue sky above use. It’s beautiful and calming. No wonder he likes it very much. Maybe I’ll join him next time he goes up here.
Just lying there with nothing to do, enjoying the clear blue sky and feels the wind blowing softly makes me sleepy. My eyes are feeling heavy and my body gradually become relax and lethargic. My brain activities are slowing to the point where I’m dozing off. Maybe that’s why I don’t hear the rustle of clothes when he shifted again.
I open my eyes (where did I close them anyway?) and turn to my right, where he was sleeping just minutes ago. He’s awake now and he’s looking at me. His hair is even messier now that he’s awake. An unconscious smile tugging at my lips at the thought that maybe it’s only me that ever see him like this, all messy and disoriented from his napping.
“Hello, sleepy head,” I say with a sleepy grin. “Finished with your napping?”
He’s not answering my question, and instead asking me one. “What are you doing here?”
“Ditching class,” I answer him with a yawn. “D’you mind letting me sleep here?”
Hito’s not answering again. He’s so silent that I’m almost convinced that he has left and leaves me alone here to sleep. So once again I force my eyes to open (just when did I close them?). He’s still there, looking at me with some weird emotion I can’t understand in my sleepy state crossing his face.
My voice seemed to start him. “Oh. It’s fine. You can sleep here.”
I close my eyes and let my mind drift away, safe in the knowledge that he’s there with me. If only it can be like this every day, I’ll be one very happy boy for the rest of my high school life. I had no illusion that I can be with him forever after graduation. He’s smart. He can be easily accepted into those universities that had strong basketball club. Hell, he maybe will go to Tezuka University where his brother is. And me? I’ll be lucky if I can graduate with average grade, and be even more lucky if I got accepted in one of the local universities around here. But hey, why should I worry about what the future brings now when it’s more preferable to just enjoy the time I have with him? I’ll worry about the future when the time comes. No need to stress myself out.
Because of my sleepiness, it takes several minutes for my brain to register that a hand is petting my hair, like I did for Hito while he sleeps. It feels nice and it makes me relax even further. That is until I realize that it’s Hito who’s been petting my hair. I mean, who else will do it while it’s only the two of us up here? My heart beats a little bit faster. Why is he petting me?
Even though I’m curious as hell as to why he does this, I do not open my eyes and let him pet me. It feels really nice, and I’m reeling in the feeling of him touching me. I wish this could go on forever. His petting makes me sleepy and I’m ready to go to la-la-land any time now.
However, all thoughts about la-la-land disappeared from my mind along with my sleepiness as I feel a firm pressure on my lips. My eyes snap open and immediately I stare into his dark eyes, not even an inch from my own eyes. My brain activities halted as I lost my self in the sensation. The only thing that exists in my world at the moment is Hito and the fact that he’s kissing me.
. . . . . . . . .
Oh. My. GOD!!
Hitonari is kissing me!!
Involuntarily, I let out a moan and part my mouth a bit. He takes that opportunity to deepen the kiss. Our tongues meet and the battle for dominance ensue. He wins of course, but that’s because he had the advantage of being on top of me, not because any lack of trying on my part! His tongue is probing and mapping my mouth. I can’t help the moan that escapes my throat. It feels so good I had a hard time (no pun intended!) believing this is real and not a dream.
He pulls back when the lack of air becomes a problem. I make a disappointed sound. I want him to kiss me again, damnit! But even I had to admit it’s nice to have air in my lungs again. Geez, I never know kissing could be that suffocating. But that’s maybe because I’ve never been kissed before. I mildly wonder if there ever a person dying because of kissing.
I open my eyes (seriously, have I had no control whatsoever over my own eyes?!) to see him. He’s still hovering above me. His eyes sparkle with amusement and something else. And he had that smug smile that makes me slightly irritated on his face.
“. . . Hito?”
“Consider us even,” he said smugly, then roll over to sit beside me.
“Huh?” was my oh-so-intelligent reply. My brain’s still mushy from the kiss and it makes me can’t think straight.
His hand finds its way to my hair again and continues their petting. “You kissed me while I was sleeping, so it’s only fair that I got to kiss you when you’re sleeping in return,” he said “Isn’t that right, Akane?”
Have I told you how much I like it when he says my name? But wait. What did he say? A blush makes its way to my face the second I understand his words. Oh my God! He knows that I kissed him while he slept! But how could he know? Unless . . .
“You were awake?” I yelp as I scramble into sitting position away from him. My face feels so hot with embarrassment. Oh God! If I knew he was awake I will never kiss him!
‘But he’s not angry,’ a little voice in my head whisper to me. ‘He knows you kissed him, and he kissed you back. That must mean something, right?’
“I was never asleep in the first place,” Hito answers me easily.
I gape. “Wha . .? You . . .” I struggle to form a coherent sentence in my state of shock. After taking several deep breaths, I feel I’m gaining back my control. “You were awake the whole time?!”
I’m blushing furiously. I know I am. I don’t even need a mirror to know how red my face is now. And that Hito prat had the gall to snicker! The nerve!
“You bastard,” I yelled. “Why did you even pretend to sleep?”
“I don’t,” he said. “I was just closing my eyes. You were the one who assumed that I was sleeping.”
He’s right. Damn, but he’s right. When I saw him lying there with his eyes closed I just automatically assumed that he was sleeping. Oh my God! Note to self, next time makes sure he’s really sleeping before you do something to him.
I glare at him. Or at least I’m trying to. The amusement is still there, so I know I’m not doing a good job there. I decide to ignore it. I still have a question to ask.
“Why did you kiss me?”
“Why did you kiss me?”
“Don’t answer me with a question,” I cried. “And I asked you first, so you have to answer me first!” I know I’m being childish, but it’s not like I can help it. I’m only ever being this childish when I’m with him. And my Mum. And Sumire too, but that’s because I grew up with her and feels no need to hide my childish side from her.
Hito chuckles again. I like hearing his chuckles. “As I said, it’s only fair that I got to kiss you after you stole a kiss from me,” he said. “Now it’s your turn to answer.”
I’m flaming red again at the remainder. But even so, I feel slightly disappointed and sad. Is that really the only reason he kissed me?
“Of course not.”
I jerk up in surprise when I feel his hand lifting up my face, forcing me to look at him. My eyes widened when I see him crouching in front of me with serious face. Huh. I didn’t realize I ask that question aloud. I swear just seconds ago he was still at least three feet away from me. How the hell did he moved that fast and without me noticing it? And what is he doing crouching like this in front of me? I get the answer just a second later when he pecks me lightly on the lips.
“I’m not someone,” a peck, “who can kiss someone else,” another peck, “or another boy in your case,” another peck, “if I don’t like them.”
Hito ended his little speech by giving me another deep kiss that once again turns my brain into mush. I can only moan into the kiss and let him have his way with me. He only pulls back when air once again being a problem. I decide right then that I have to master the ability to breathe through my nose while kissing. That means loads of practice. And that equals more kissing. I feel giddy inside.
“So you like me?” I ask him after I regain a bit of my breath back.
“Yes,” he answers me promptly. He pressed our forehead together. One of his hands settles on my nape. His finger is rubbing soothing circles at the side of my neck. That feels nice. “So, what is your answer for that question, Akane? Why did you kiss me?”
“I wanted to taste you,” I answer him truthfully. “I didn’t think I had a chance with you ‘coz I thought you’re straight. I . . .”
He silenced me with another kiss. “You’re being silly,” he said after he pulls back. “Now that you’ve tasted me, what’s next?”
“Originally, I’ll just let myself content being your friend,” I said. “But now I want more. I want all of you, Hito.”
“I can do that,” he replies with a smile. I feel myself answering his smile with my own. Happiness I never experienced before fills my heart with its warmth.
I will never forget this day’s blue sky.
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