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I'm Keeping You

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Sam’s POV

Sam was in love, not that he wanted to admit it, but it was true. He had fell hard and fast for the ginger haired front man Mikey. And he hated it, why did he have to fall for Mikey, he was straight and the front man of his band, and telling him about his feeling would obviously destroy the band and everything they had worked for. So of course he wouldn’t admit it, but as he watched Mikey flirt with one of the girls setting up the lighting for their show later he wished that he would just tell him about his feelings, even though Mikey won’t return them maybe he would stop flirting with random girls.

“Hey Sam! Come listen to what Amber just told me!” Mikey shouted to Sam. Sam wandered over to where Mikey and Amber were stood.

“So last year I was doing the lighting for Fall Out Boy and I saw Pete and Patrick making out in a cupboard!” Amber exclaimed.

“Wow that’s crazy.” Sam said, faking his enthusiasm.

“I know right?” Mikey said, not noticing the hint of sadness in Sam’s voice.

“Yeah I guess, anyway Mikey we need to go see Dave, he said he needs some help with his drums.” Sam said, desperate to get away from Amber.

Sam and Mikey walked away and headed towards where Dave was busy drumming away.

“Hey Dave, Sam said you needed some help?” Mikey said. Dave glanced at Sam, a look of confusion on his face.

“No?” Dave replied, “I’m all set up for the gig to start.”

“Oh ok then, it starts in 10!” Mikey said.

“I know Mikey.” Dave sighed. Mikey and Sam walked of together, Mikey sneaking glances at Sam, confused about why he told him Dave needed help.

“Sam,” Mikey started, “What was that about? Dave didn’t need any help?”

“He did, he asked me to grab you to get him some help.” Sam said quietly, knowing that he was digging himself a bigger and bigger hole.

“Are you sure? He looked like he had been ready for a while.” Mikey said, suspiciously.

“Oh he did earlier, guess he finished without us.” Sam mumbled.

“Sam don’t lie to me please, I know you are.” Mikey said, anger flaring up inside him.

“Mikey! Stop bugging me OK! He wanted some help and now he doesn’t, that’s it.” Sam shouted back at Mikey, feeling suddenly angry at the older boy.

Mikey pushed Sam up to the wall, holding him by the collar of Sam’s button up.

“No he didn’t. So you can either tell me what’s up with you right now, or you can say nothing at all, and I’ll understand.” Mikey said, anger suddenly shooting through him.

Sam said nothing, and stared at the floor, not daring to look up into Mikey’s eyes in fear that they would make him spill out everything going on in his mind.

“Fine. I see how it is. I thought I was your best friend. But apparently you can’t tell me something that obviously concerns me. See you on the stage.” Mikey threw at Sam, a tear falling from his left eye as he stomped away.

Sam knew he has messed up, but he knew he couldn’t tell Mikey what was up, Mikey was straight! He paraded the fact that he could get any girl on the tour in front of him every day, so why would Sam admitting to his feeling change anything? Sam sighed and grabbed his bass, wishing he could one day tell how he felt, and headed to the stage.

*Time Lapse*

Sam looked around the bus at his band members, wishing they knew how he felt about Mikey.

“Hey Sam, can I have a word please?” a voice shouted from the kitchen, Sam sighed knowing that the voice belonged to Mikey. He knew what this would about, of course Mikey wants to know was bugging him earlier.

Sam walked into the kitchen and sat at one of the chairs round their wooden table.

“Please tell me what was wrong earlier, I want to help and you being like this isn’t gonna make anything better.” Mikey said, calmly.

“Mikey it’s nothing I promise, I just have a headache and really, I just need to sleep it off.” Sam replied, lying through his teeth.

“Sam! I know something is wrong with you right now, and it isn’t just a headache. The others were saying they noticed something wrong with you recently. Help me help you, please.” Mikey said, his voicing dropping by the end.

Sam weighed up his options in his head. Does he tell Mikey about his crush or go for something not as hard hitting.

“I’m gay.” Sam stated.

“Oh. Uh I have to go and uh… sort my bunk.” Mikey stuttered, and ran out the room; leaving Sam stood staring at the spot he was just stood in.

Joe appeared at the door.

“What just happened?” Joe said.

“I told Mikey I was gay and he stormed out, I don’t know what to do. He said he wanted to help and that you guys have noticed something wrong with me recently as well. And I told him I was gay, and he just left me! This was so important to me and he just walked out and left me!” Sam rambled, on the verge of tears.

“Oh Sam, I’m so sorry, I will go sort something, hang on.” Joe said and left the room.

Sam thought about what had just happened to him, Mikey asking him what was wrong, him admitting to being gay, Mikey storming off, Joe helping him. It all felt weird, he never expected this to happen to him, he expected to be closeted to his band for quite a while and get over Mikey, even though he knew he never really would get over him. Sam listened to the sound of someone shouting, sounded like Joe, hopefully he was yelling at Mikey for leaving him when he was his most vulnerable.

The shouting subsided and Sam looked up to see Mikey stumbling through the door, Joe stood behind him looking proud of himself.

“Now I’m guessing neither of you are going to talk to each other without prompt so here we go,” Joe said “Mikey, what do you have to say to Sam?”

“I’m sorry for running out when you told me you were gay.” Mikey said, refusing to make eye contact with Sam.

“It’s OK Mikey; I guess it was just a shock to you.” Sam sighed.

“No Mikey, that wasn’t what you said to me, you told me you wanted to say something else.” Joe said, glaring at Mikey. Sam’s ears perked up at this, what could Mikey possibly have to say to him that wasn’t sorry?

Mikey turned and glared at Joe, “Don’t make me.” He said, pleading with Joe.

“I won’t let you leave this room until you tell Sam what you truly mean.” Joe said, sounding exasperated.

Mikey levelled his breath and, for the first time during the conversation, made eye contact with Sam, “I’m so sorry for what I did, I had never met anyone who is gay before and it scared me, but not in a bad way! I’ve spent the last 5 years of my life thinking I was different, and then you tell me you’re gay and suddenly I have someone to relate to. What I’m trying to say is that I’m gay, and I didn’t expect someone like you to be gay so when you told me it shocked me and I would’ve jumped for joy if I had stayed in here any longer.” Mikey rambled.

Sam was in shock, Mikey was gay as well? What about all those girls? And what did he mean when he said ‘I would’ve jumped for joy’?

“It’s OK, but what do you mean jumped for joy?” Sam asked.

Mikey’s face paled and turned to look at Joe. Joe smirked and looked from Mikey to Sam.

“I’m going to leave you two to it I think.” Joe stated and headed out the door.

“Mikey?” Sam said, and suddenly Mikey surged forward and was nose to nose with Sam.

“Mikey. What are you doing?” Sam said worriedly, staring into Mikey’s eyes.

“Something I’m glad I get the chance to do, if you don’t like it please tell me and we can go back to normal.” And before Sam could do anything Mikey was kissing him. Sam’s brain went into overdrive, random files and error messages were thrown up and he had no idea what to do. Obviously he wanted to kiss back, but his brain wouldn’t let him. And before he could do anything it ended.

“It’s OK, I understand. You didn’t like it, I’ll just go.” Mikey said on the verge of tears. Sam was shocked; did Mikey really think he didn’t like it?

“Wait.” Sam said staring at Mikey as he tried to escape the room. “Do you like me?”

“I thought that was obvious, but as you don’t feel the same way about me I’m going to leave and we can get over this.” Mikey said sadly.

“Mikey wait! You didn’t let me react, I do like you! I was going to tell you that but I thought telling you I was gay would be good enough as I was scared to tell you everything.” Sam said, pleading with Mikey.

“Really?” Mikey questioned.

“Really.” Sam promised.

And within a second Mikey’s lips were on Sam and finally Sam was kissing back, he had been dreaming of this moment for months, and it was finally happening to him. Sam pressed harder onto Mikey before pulling back.

“So that just happened?” Sam questions.

“Yup, I plan on it happening a lot more if you want, you want that right?” Mikey asked, worry laced in his voice.

“Yes yes Mikey course I want this!” Sam exclaimed.

“Good, cause I’m keeping you.”