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Disclaimer: I own nothing but my original characters and works, if you recognize it from somewhere else, surprise it isn't mine.
So, I am always reading and writing. To the point that I really don't anything else in free time when I am not playing tabletop games with my cousins. I don’t really consume other types of media much or at all anymore, so for a long time I have been thinking and making a lot of rough drafts for stories to start posting my writing. Some are Fanfics, some are Original stuff. I doubted they would ever be thrown into the murky and shady electrons of the Internet, but I am basically at the end of my rope. So fuck it, because this rut I am in has burned my last fuck, and might as give it a try.
“Why am I here?”
I didn’t expect an answer. Not because I thought I wouldn’t get one, but because I was sure that I would not understand it due to the simple fact I didn’t comprehend where I was. I could ‘tell’ that it was a ‘void’, or better said is that I assumed it was a void because I didn’t sense anything.
Maybe that’s the best explanation there was, a place where I couldn’t perceive anything about my surroundings. I couldn’t tell if there was a floor, a ceiling, a wall, a chair, a bed, or if I was sitting down, laying down, standing or crouching. I couldn’t tell if I was actually seeing anything that had color, much less if it was white, black, green or blue. That was just the tip of the proverbial Iceberg of my confusion, and if I was this confused about the simple stuff, why would I expect an answer to one of the most simply complex metaphysical questions out there?
After asking the question that any thinking being that uses its imagination eventually asks themselves, I felt something else besides my confusion, much to my further confusion to boot, someone else’s amusement.
So, I reacted like any other person would in just a situation, I supposed. By being belligerent.
If I was confused about there being a floor, I decided that there was a floor. If I was confused about being in a void, I decided that there was a chair and table. If I was confused about sitting down in that chair, I decided that I was sitting down. If I was confused about the color of where I was deciding where I was, I decided that the color permeating everything was a bloody crimson.
Why do I feel that was an important fact?
To my not waning confusion, and now rising belligerency, the amusement I felt change. The confusing part was not that it changed, I wanted change, but that I could tell that it was changed from being an amusement derived from my confusion, to me deciding where I was. That made me dig my heels even more about whoever was amused at my expense, and further affirm my choice of place, position and color.
“So, why am I here?”
As if the one feeling amuse didn’t want for me to stop being confused, I could now tell that the floor, and newly apparent walls and ceiling were moving, taking me, the chair, and table along for a ride.
After I took that in, I realized it was an answer. A partial answer, but an answer all the same to my question.
‘Hmm…..Indirect answers to my question.‘
This meant that I was probably never going to get a straight answer to any question that I asked, but was going to get something in a roundabout way. If that something was important, I have yet to determine.
Though, there was this nagging itch in my head, not related to being on the other side of the glass in a zoo. I didn’t know why or how, but deep down in the bones I knew this was the response to my belligerency.
What to ask then? First to catalog what I do know.
To my continued frustration, it was jack and shit.
‘Hhhmmm……maybe rather than being that I know very little, it is more along the lines that I and whomever else is here along with me haven’t decide on more details, given how things changed when willed it to change and asked.’
That Hypothesis was born from the point that I knew facts, as in I did have knowledge, so all I probably simply had to go was use it or derived context from it. That, and the part that I was never given a straight answer lead me to consider that the more ambiguous the question I asked, the more lead way there would be for me to interpret in the answers given to me.
‘…Given to me…’
“What boons do I get for going on this?” ‘Worth A Shoot’.
A window appeared.
I was careful when I thought of that window. It was a very basic thing. Maybe I could change that. Maybe there were more?
‘No, there was only one.’
Hmm….
‘The window has four panels, no it has one, no it has four, no it has one, no it has three, no it has one, noithastwo, noithasone, noithasonwo, noithastwne, noithasotwone.’
%$&%#&%#/&%(%&(/&($!”#$%&/()=)(/&%$#”!”#$%&/(=)(/&
My head was throwing, but the window had two panels.
So, I was giving some leeway, but not nearly as much as I liked. Still, this shit had to have some loopholes or something else that I could exploit the fuck of.
The window had two panels, so one unique boon per panel.
“Ouch.”
No dice. Maybe it was two boons that were related in some way?
My head didn’t throw, so I was thinking about the right possibilities. Now, how to determine the boons?
The Boon would mark the panel, or rather the panel had the symbol that represented the boon.
Nothing happened, but slowly, I thought of what I would like for these boons to be.
No, something did happen before I could continue that train of thought. The upper panel could be opened, and the window was telling me that something could go through it, a metaphysical thing. A Soul.
Wait, that was what I was now?
I died? When? How?
‘Fuck, think on it later!’
‘What does the second panel mean?’ I asked the window, latching to that to bury everything else.
I didn’t get an answer. What a surprise.
If it was up to me, the second panel reflected the Soul, meaning that a Soul would be the same in either side, losing nothing about itself.
I didn’t know why that was important to me, but it was critical.
Thankfully, the Window agreed with what the second panel could do. If the upper panel meant travel, the lower panel meant that the Soul that did travel didn’t lose anything that it had earned. I got the notion that it was only possible because the window was the type that needed one part to be moved into an overlapping position with the over part.
Whatever, it was something at least.
I looked around from where I was sitting, trying to see if I could change anything else for a powerup, because I felt that the Window did squat about making sure I survived, but nothing I did worked.
I tried to summon stuff on the table, chair, or me. I tried to change things up. Hell, I even tried to change pieces of myself.
With each attempt, I felt the thing that was present along with me get more amused, like it enjoyed that I was doing everything that I could think of to get more power, as if no one else wouldn’t do the same. I had no idea where I was going, so I was going to grab every opportunity that presented itself to me to make sure I lived, not merely survived, and if that made me a broken factor for where I was going, well fuck that place.
I was not going to limit my chances for someone else’s pride or even life. If I could, I would be helpful and benevolent, but not at my expense.
And that’s probably why I wouldn’t get anything else, because it didn’t want me to be a broken factor.
It was now near the end, something told me, so I had no more time to think carefully about things.
Taking that into account, I did the only thing that was left for me now, and the first action that fucking thing got amused by. I ask my question.
“What’s the best possible additional boon that I could get for where I am going?”
It was not a vague question, a rather specific one, but I had no time for vagueness or adjustment, so either I got something good, a bust, or something bad.
But I still felt the thing’s amusement, so I probably got something decent out of this.
Then I felt myself change. I felt my Soul…Evolve for the lack of a better word. Or maybe be less Constrained. The modification couldn’t be put into words, because it was something that could only be experienced. And it was painful. A pain that went deep into the core of who I was, and will always repeat itself if I did something like this again. Both a Boon and a Curse. A Reward and a Punishment for reaching for more.
It was also a warning, the other part of the answer to my first question. I was here because I was being sent somewhere else, and that I would have to change myself bit by bit to survive, at the cost of myself.
We arrived. I could tell we were stopping, but I could then feel an edge to the amusement I had been bombarded this whole time, a mocking and malicious edge.
“What’s so damn funny?” I screamed with all the frustration, anger, and equal spite that had been building up in me towards that thing. Even if what I was given showed a lot of promise and potential, it was given with a backhand, it didn’t change the fact that I knew I was getting thrown to wolves in one way or another, and a permanent reminder that the thing had power over me. Added to the fact I had a belly full of flames at the fact that I had no choice on whenever I was going on this ride or not, I lashed out with what little I could.
I was going to find out what amused this fucker so much, and end it.
“Who are you?”
A voice asked with wicked mirth dripping in its tone. It was indistinguishable, neither young or old, male or female, and I couldn’t tell if it spoke in English or some other language.
Not that I notice, with my mind slamming the brakes with extreme prejudice.
'Who am I? What’s my name? What do I look like?'
I knew none of this. As I started to taste an existential crisis, a not unfamiliar feeling, I felt my soul be launched to a destination.
I didn’t notice coming to a full stop, but damn if that wasn’t timed, a distant part of me noticed while I freaked out, cursed the bastard behind this, and dreaded where I was going to land.
I was right that my reincarnation was both Great and Terrible.
So, the premise is that this poor bastard is going through mostly Hentais for our amusement. And not the ‘mundane’ Hentai, but the ones with supernatural shit happening that can kill you/eat you/turn you into a meatball. I already got the list of worlds he is going to go through, which will 'properly' arm the MC. The next two worlds are Kuroinu and Taimanin, though there will be a surprise before them. The Goal I set up for myself was one 5K Chapter at least once a week. After the Hentai worlds, I am thinking of making a sequel, and having worlds like Slave Soldier, The Witcher, or something like that in completely separate fics.
Two more things.
First, Thanks to Sinereal, Jordino, Cambrian and many for their inspirations of making this something I can live off of, and special thanks to Sinereal for his advice on what to start on, and to sit down to actualy write something I plan to post.
So, the reason why I started this is because life has been kicking me before the Covid Lockdown, and this me setting down trying to kick back.
So I have created a Patreon, IAVL where you can support Me so I can keep writing. For the moment all content I write will be free, but that change that as I Post more content.
I am also open to start taking commissions. The rate for the moment is 10 U.S. ($) Dollars Per 1 Thousand Words. If you are interested, you can contact me through the Patreon Message System, or via my Questionable Questing Profile: IAVL , my Fanfiction.Net Profile: Linares91 , my Archive Of Our Own Profile: IAVL , and my Hentai-Foundry Profile, Nacho2991 . In all of them, you can drop a message, and we'll go from there.
I have a Go Get Funding for donations and the like. Just go to their website, and look for the Campaign Aspiring Writer Assistance.