Brian and I have just finished another round of lovemaking. I don’t know exactly when our fucking turned into something much more tonight but it did. Perhaps it is because I am leaving Brian in the morning to go to New York City to make my fortune as an artist. Tonight has been intense between lovemaking and sucking each other off multiple times it’s been amazing. It is also breaking my heart knowing I have to get up from this bed and walk away.
These five years that I have had Brian in my life have been the best and worst of my life. When I walked out of The Loft a few weeks ago I didn’t think I’d ever be back. But then Brian turned hopelessly romantic and bought me the house of my dreams. To top it all off he proposed to me, as in MARRIAGE. I’m still stunned I said yes and that we changed our minds and called it off. Brian was right though we really do not need rings to prove to anyone that we are each others. It’s in our hearts and minds and we will make the distance we will have soon work for us.
The sun is just starting to light up the dark. I slowly start to wiggle my way out from underneath Brian. I am trying to not wake him I know I’ll never be able to walk out the door if he is watching me. I want to go to New York I know it will help me become a better known artist but walking way from all of this is so very hard. We will see each other as much as possible and there are phones and email but not seeing him every day is already hurting me to think about.
As I stand in the shower I remember all the times we have fucked in it. Many amazing mornings and late nights after Babylon. I will miss this shower but I am glad Brian has no plans to get rid of The Loft. This is our first home together and we would miss it very much. Like I have told him this is the place we first made love even though he hates to admit we ever did before tonight. At least he is allowing me peaks at the romantic heart I always knew he has. It’s a good thing I’ll never tell anyone about Brian secret except perhaps Daphne she has earned knowing she has kept many secrets for me over the years.
I’m dressed and have finished gathering my few items that need to be packed. I stand and look at Brian sleeping naked and try to memorize every part of him. I know I’ll be sketching him later on the plane and I don’t want to forget how beautiful he looks. I walk over and kiss him on the forehead softly and walk to the door. I slowly slide it open fighting tears and walk out. I slide it shut and lock it. I hurry down the stairs to the cab I know is waiting. I repeat to myself that we will make it through this and that Brian will not stop loving me now. I cry as the cab drives me away to my future.