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Save Your Innocence for the Next Life

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Toshiko’s shuddering climax was interrupted by the persistent beeping of her alarm clock. With an uncharacteristic moan, she forced herself awake, reached out to switch the bloody thing off, then sat up on the side of the bed, rubbing sleep from the corners of her eyes as she yawned and prepared to face another day. This was the third night in a row she’d had the dream, which was slightly different each time but always featured the same event: Gwen pushing her against a wall, pinning her arms above her head, and having her wicked way with her.

A quiet sigh escaped Tosh’s lips before she could prevent it, but she told herself to forget about the dream and get on with her work – there was a code she had to crack by Friday and she also wanted to start an update for the mainframe, if she had time. She would not let the dream make her relationships with her one and only female colleague more awkward than it always had been. So she dressed, grabbed a piece of toast, and left her flat in time to reach the hub at half eight, and she could fool herself that her life was normal.

She was sat at her workstation, glasses perched on her nose, fingers gliding across the keyboard and making substantial progress, when the reflection of a suited figure passed her screen. She thought nothing of it, until she saw a swish of black hair that did not belong to Ianto. Tosh swivelled around in her chair – and stopped dead.

Gwen Cooper was wearing a men’s suit. A very tight men’s suit. Tosh’s breath hitched and she couldn’t tear her eyes away. The trousers and fitted jacket were black pinstripe, the tie was a stylish black with stripes in light magenta, and the shirt was… well, it could only described as Barbie pink.

As if sensing the gaze on her, Gwen turned around and smiled. “Morning, Tosh,” she chirped.

Tosh stammered a reply, trying not to blush at being caught staring.

Silence reigned for a long moment until Gwen broke it with, “Aren’t you going to ask why I’m wearing a men’s suit?”

“Alright, why are you wearing a men’s shirt?” Tosh slipped off her reading glasses and held them in her lap.

“I lost a bet with Jack,” Gwen explained, a gap-toothed smile implying she wasn’t disappointed about that. “He bet that I couldn’t find a match for a person on the CCTV before Ianto, and the loser of the competition had to wear the other’s clothes for a week.”

“I didn’t think one of Ianto’s suits would fit you that…,” Tosh struggled to think of a word to replace “tight” and came up with, “well.”

Gwen’s grin broadened. “I cheated and bought my own version.”

“Well, you look…nice,” Tosh managed.

“Thanks Tosh. You’re looking lovely as well.”

Before Tosh could thank her, she sauntered off. Sighing, Tosh put on her glasses and got back to work, hoping she wouldn’t have to see much of the other woman today – the continuous sight of Gwen in a formfitting suit would be far too distracting for her to get any actual work done.

The first half of the day panned out fine; it was a quiet morning and Tosh managed to crack the alien code a whole two hours earlier than planned. At lunchtime, however, the whole team was assembled around the table in the boardroom, Gwen jacketless with her pink sleeves rolled up to her elbows in imitation of Ianto. Tosh kept telling herself not to stare, but her eyes continued to steal glances in Gwen’s direction without her brain’s permission.

When Gwen caught her eye and winked, Tosh’s gaze darted back to her bowl of rice, but she fumbled the chopsticks and had to take a deep breath before she could eat without dropping her food back in the bowl. She can’t possibly know what I’m thinking, she reminded herself, and shovelled down the rest of her rice so that she could leave the room and get back to work.

In typical fashion, the Rift alert intruded on their downtime, calling them all to gather around Tosh’s workstation. She read out the data on the screen for Jack, who leant over her shoulder and announced with some degree of delight, “Aha, we’ve got ourselves a lone Pyrovile, stranded on Earth by the Rift. I know from experience that they’re deadly-” he accompanied that with raised eyebrows as if to say that that was an understatement- “and this one will be scared and confused after its trip through time and space, so let’s take it down quick.”

“Is it really necessary to kill it?” One of Tosh’s blank screens captured a reflection of Gwen’s frown.

Jack shot Gwen a steady gaze. “Afraid so. Unless you want an invasion on your hands, we need to get rid of it. We’ll have to herd it towards the Bay and somehow trick it into the water.”

Tosh bit her lip. “Did you say a Pyrovile?”

“Heard of it before, Tosh?”

“No, but is it ‘pyro’ as in ‘fire’? Just what are we dealing with here?” Her forehead creased.

Jack’s answering grin was less than reassuring.

A sweaty team made their way back to the hub a couple of hours later, exhausted but successful. Jack had volunteered as bait, which none of them had been happy about, Ianto most of all, but the Pyrovile had chased after him and into the Bay, where it had disintegrated. Jack, with singed hair, had then told them they were lucky the alien was just a foot soldier and not a fully grown member of its species. Satisfied with the knowledge that they’d saved the world from extraterrestrial threat, Tosh hadn’t asked; none of them had.

As soon as they got inside, she made for the women’s showers, Gwen hot on her heels. Adrenaline was still rushing through Tosh’s veins, and Gwen’s breathing wasn’t back to normal either. Running around Cardiff for two hours did that to a woman. Extra conscious of her colleague, whose bottom in those tight black trousers had been a sight for poor eyes as she dragged behind the rest of the group, Tosh turned her back as she pulled off her jacket, boots, and socks.

Gwen blew out air through her lips in a kind of whistle. “Suits are not at all practical for running about in, I’ll tell you that, Tosh,” she said. “I don’t think I can keep this up for a whole week.”

Tosh looked up from undoing the top button of her shirt and turned her head. “I don’t know, I think you’re stubborn enough to manage it.” She softened the words with a smile.

Gwen returned it. “You know,” she drawled, one eyebrow disappearing under her fringe, “you could always help me out of it.”

Toshiko’s eyes widened and her heart stuttered.

“You’ve been looking at me all day, you’ve not exactly been subtle about it.” The accompanying smirk should not have been that attractive, but Tosh swallowed and tried to moisten her mouth that had become desert-dry in the last few seconds. “I’ve been thinking about it too.”

That made Tosh gasp.

“It’s arousing, being watched like that,” Gwen continued, loosening her tie before bending down to untie her shoelaces. She pulled off her shoes and socks and tossed them to the side. “I’d quite fancy living out whatever fantasies you’ve been having.”

She met Tosh’s gaze again, and Tosh was gone. Her legs carried her across the room to where Gwen was standing and she shoved the other woman back against the wall. She captured Gwen’s smooth lips in a bruising kiss that had them both gasping at its force. When they came up for air a minute later, she grabbed Gwen’s hips to pull their bodies closer while Gwen’s hands slipped around Tosh’s waist and then further down, clutching her arse. Her heart was racing now, and she dove in for another kiss, biting down hard on Gwen’s bottom lip. Gwen whimpered, and tried to touch Tosh’s breasts, but Tosh gripped Gwen’s hands and pushed them up above her head, pinning her against the wall with her body weight so that the taller woman was incapable of moving.

“Tosh,” Gwen moaned, panting as Tosh bit at the side of her neck. “Not there; Rhys will see.”

That cast a new light on the situation. Tosh met Gwen’s eyes and nodded, but a thought niggled at her insides, and she pulled back, letting go of Gwen’s hands to grasp her hips. “Are you sure about this? Do you really want to cheat on your fiancé, with me?”

Gwen’s face fell, but her response was not what Tosh expected. She cupped Toshiko’s cheek. “Tosh, you’re beautiful. Don’t doubt your self-worth, promise me that.”

Tosh exhaled. “I promise,” she said, not breaking eye contact.

“I know this is worth it. So if you don’t worry about Owen, I won’t think about Rhys.”

Tosh didn’t comment on Gwen’s failure to justify cheating on Rhys, but she was flattered, honoured that Gwen had chosen her, of all people.

Seeming to read her thoughts, Gwen added, “And besides, do you really want to stop now?”

The woman’s hair was dishevelled, her cheeks flushed, and her lips swollen. Tosh shook her head, then bit at Gwen’s lip again, moving her hands from Gwen’s hips to her breasts over the pink shirt. “You’re wearing too many clothes,” she murmured, and stripped Gwen of her jacket, throwing it to one side. Gwen watched through hooded eyes as Tosh undid the tie and tossed it on top of the jacket, then claimed Gwen’s mouth again before pulling back to undo the shirt buttons. She slipped a hand inside the shirt to cup Gwen’s breast over its practical bra, making the other woman moan, and circled and rubbed at the nipple under the fabric with her thumb until it hardened, pressing a kiss to Gwen’s neck as she did so.

Gwen was a quivering mess now, putty in Tosh’s hands, and damn if it didn’t empower her. She ripped open the rest of the buttons on Gwen’s shirt and wrenched it off to join the rest of the clothes on the floor, then pinned Gwen’s hands above her head once more.


She paused. “Yes?”

“Think you could speed up any time soon?” Welsh accent thickened even more by lust, Gwen’s words sent a shiver down Tosh’s spine.

Without changing her expression, Tosh slid her hand downwards, gliding it across the soft, pale curve of Gwen’s stomach until she reached the top of those black pinstripe trousers. She undid button and zipper, and slid her hand inside. Gwen’s hips bucked forwards as Tosh rubbed at her clitoris, returning to the oral assault as Gwen moaned out her pleasure in unintelligible sentences.

Tosh nipped down on Gwen’s lower lip again and made her cry out as she slipped a finger inside her folds, thrusting in and out, possessed by a flame of desire that wouldn’t release its hold until she’d brought Gwen to completion.

Tosh, Toshiko, yes, yes, Tosh, yes,” Gwen chanted like a prayer as Tosh added another finger and smiled at her own ability to make Gwen come undone. With a final swipe of her tongue against Gwen’s teeth and a well-positioned crook of her fingers, Gwen was thrusting into Tosh’s hand and crying out her name, banging her head against the wall as she came.

Tosh removed her fingers from Gwen’s pants and brought them up to her mouth, sucking them clean as Gwen sagged to the floor, boneless, watching her.

“I think,” panted Gwen after a second, “I’ll manage to dress like this all week after all.”

Dazed and with a drumming heartbeat, Tosh couldn’t agree more. The real thing had been even better than her subconscious had allowed her to imagine, the roles reversed this time, and she decided that maybe the recurring dream wasn’t such a bad thing after all. She stripped, and stepped into the shower at last, beckoning for Gwen to join her.