Chapter 1: o n e
The raindrops against the window makes a small thump as it quickly comes crashing down. Harry sits directly next to the window - he wanted that seat. He hadn't thought it would've started raining.
Normally he would've enjoyed the rain. Would've enjoyed the feeling of knowing that some things can't be controlled by humans. He would've even stood up and walked out, just to get the feeling of the small water drops on his face.
But this isn't like a normal day.
Beside him is Liam, who might look calm, but Harry knows that he's fuming inside. That's something he's always admired about Liam - he knows how to control his emotions. He know when to speak and when not to speak.
Harry on the other hand...
Harry's not like that. Harry can't - won't - keep his feelings bottled up. Fuck, he feels like it's the only bit of control he has left in his life.
So he sits in his chair next to the window that's now fully covered in rain. He sits and he's absolutely fuming. He sits glaring at the people in the room. He's trying to intimidate them before he finally speaks.
"No," He says firmly. He's trying to make a point, so he repeats himself, "No."
The head of the management, Mr. Johnson, who's sitting at the head of the table, looks at him. His dark eyes glance over Harry's face - he hopes he looks intimidating - and almost as if he decides that Harry isn't worth a second more of his time, he quickly looks away.
Harry's never liked him.
He's never liked anybody in the room besides his bandmates. The rest of the people in the room are glancing between Harry and Mr. Johnson.
Harry thinks it's the first time anybody's ever said no to Mr. Johnson. He likes to think as himself as brave.
Mr. Johnson clears his throat before speaking, "Look, Harry. The arrangements already been made. We can't change it now -"
Harry cuts him off. "Well, maybe you should've actually discussed it with us before making such shit arrangements!"
Mr. Johnson narrows his eyes at him. Maybe he's trying to set Harry on fire with the amount of hatred in his eyes. "We understand how you feel. But your contract clearly states that final decisions are made by us."
Now it's Harry's turn to narrow his eyes. "Well, does my contract state that you can work me past the point of being worn out?" He glances to the people in the room. They look annoyed. Good.
"Harry, you don't understand - " Mr. Johnson tries again, only to be cut off by Harry's laugh - it's a tired laugh.
"You're right! I don't understand!" He looks to Niall, who's sitting in chair opposite him with his hands in his lap and head down. He's clearly trying to avoid eye contact and that enough makes Harry angry all over, "I don't understand how you expect us to start a fucking stadium world tour in a month when we literally just finished one 6 weeks ago. I don't understand that and I don't think Liam and Niall understand either. So please, make me understand."
Mr. Johnson looks too calm and Harry knows exactly what's coming next.
"If not for yourself, do it for your fans."
Harry loves his fans. He loves them so much and will forever be grateful for what they've done for - not only him - but the band. He loves making music for his fans and love making them happy. He just -
He hates the things they don't know.
Surprisingly, it's Liam who speaks up. "The fans wants us to have a break. They understand that we're tired and overworked. I'm sure they'll understand if we start the tour a month or two later."
Harry thinks Mr. Johnson will get whiplash with the way he quickly snaps his next to look at Liam. He glares between them before smiling.
Harry thinks it looks sinister.
"You will start the tour within exactly 31 days and you will be attending extra dates within the tour," And Mr. Johnson says it so causally. Says it as if he's announcing that they're out of food and he's going to grab some KFC. He says it like he doesn't know he's destroying their lives further.
Harry snorts. "No wonder why Zayn left."
Mr. Johnson stand up suddenly, voice ice cold as he speaks, "Mr. Malik left because he has stress and depression he needs to work through."
Harry also stands up, facing Mr. Johnson who looks up at him. He's glad he's tall.
"Zayn left because of you. He left because you overwork us."
And the thing is, it's only been a few months since Zayn left but the wound is still visible and wide open. Harry's happy that Zayn left, happy to know that one of them got away from all this bullshit.
He guesses Mr. Johnson doesn't like to be reminded of the fact that he doesn't have control over one of his puppets anymore because all he says while looking Harry over with cold eyes is, "31 Days. We'll call you if we need you."
And with that he walks out of the room with the rest of the people following hot on his heels. Harry doesn't like them at all.
He feels so frustrated and so angry and so - so tired. He slumps down back in his chair and puts his head in his hands. It's quiet for a few moments before Niall clears his throat.
"Fuck, I hate them."
He looks up from behind his hands and glances to Liam who's already looking back at him. They let out a little laugh at the same time.
Liam shakes his head. "You're not the only one Nialler. And you," he nudges Harry's shoulder, "You have no control when it comes to these meetings, do you?"
Harry smirks back at him. "Funny, considering the fact that you're the one who wrote No Control."
Niall's laughs eco's through the almost empty room.
It sounds light and refreshing and exactly what Harry needs right now to forget what had happened only a few minutes ago.
On the table, not too far from where Harry's sitting, there is a newspaper. It's the first time he notices it since he has come in 45 minutes ago. He lifts his body up, so he can reach out for the paper and when he has it in his grasp, he plumps down on the chair. With one look at the front of The Sun - figures - he immediately lets go of it.
HARRY STYLES OUT WITH MYSTERIOUS BLONDE.
Is what the headlines say. And there is a picture of Harry from the previous night existing a restaurant, and not too far behind him is a pretty blonde girl. He doesn't know her. It's actually the first time he has seen her in his life and he doubts she's arsed with him. But because of some stupid pap, the poor girl is probably going to receive hate for the next 2 weeks.
He groans. He's honestly so tired.
Sighing, he turns his chair around so it can face the window. It hasn't stopped raining yet and Harry's grateful for that. He likes the rain.
When Harry had won the X-Factor with Liam, Niall and Zayn back in 2010, he had been 16 and naïve. He had truly believed that all he'll ever have to do was sing for the fans. He now realizes that he was so ignorant. So blinded with the idea of fame that he hadn't considered the sacrifices he'd have to make to make it big. And, he doesn't regret making music for the fans, he just regrets everything else. It's tiring, is the thing.
Harry's tired of lies. Harry's tired of constantly being overworked and he's tired of being manipulated by his own fucking management. If he had known back in 2010 that it would be like this, he would've never signed that damn contract. He bet Zayn would've stayed, too. He misses Zayn.
He hears a phone ring and he's reminded that yes, he's still in the room where the meeting had been only a few minutes prior. He looks up just as Liam pulls out his phone and when he gets a look at who's calling, he frowns. It's unlike Liam, so Harry's confused. He bets Niall is too. Liam clears he throat and looks up between them. "I'm sorry, I have to take this." And then he stands up and quickly rushes our of the room.
He watches Liam retreating figure and then looks at Niall. They share a look before Niall just shrugs.
"So," Niall begins. "Plans for the break?" It's asked in a careful tone because it's a delicate subject for them. Harry hasn't seen Niall in almost 2 weeks, because as much as he loves his bandmates, he also needs time for himself. He needs some privacy. But seeing Niall being so careful about a question reminds Harry that he's not alone in this fucked up situation, so he bites back the sarcastic comment he would've usually spit out and just shrugs.
"Going out with friends. Might go back to LA. Maybe pay my mum a visit. You?"
"Going to visit me family in Ireland. Haven't seen them since we got back from tour."
Harry nods. "That's good. Always have to visit the family before going back on tour."
It's silent for a few moments before Niall speaks up, "Haz, do you...Do you think that we're going to be normal one day again?"
It hits Harry like a ton of bricks because it's such a different question. So unexpected. The thing is, Harry's dreamt of a normal life. He's dreamt of walking on the street, not being mobbed and papped and he's woken up craving that. That's a normal life for a normal person. But, Harry's life isn't normal. His life consist of paparazzi and living in hotels and not having a steady sleeping pattern and being mobbed wherever he goes and living out of suitcases and only seeing his family and friends small amounts of times and studios and award shows and everything a 21-year old doesn't usually have to go through.
And Harry doubts that when the band does end one day that everything is going to stop so he tries to keep his voice at one level when he finally answers, "No, Niall. We're always going to be One Direction."
He really hopes Niall can't detect the amount of hatred in that sentence.
Louis lays in his bed. His cover up to his ears and only his eyes peeking out from under the warmth the duvet is providing him. He lays on his side so that he can stare out of the window. It's raining.
Louis hates the rain.
Yet, he still stares out of the window that allows him to witness as the rain pours down onto the ground. Beside the sound of the heavy rain, nothing can be heard outside. Not even a car honking in the far distance and Louis hates that, too.
He wonders if the roof of the small apartment is leaking through as he feels water hit his cheeks but then he realizes it's his own tears and -
He needs to get out.
He needs to get out of this small town and he needs to get out. He needs to get away from the memories and strangers he doesn't know but still somehow fear and like every other night, he feels like he's having an anxiety attack, but it's only noon and Louis realized that the memories are taking over his life and if he doesn't get out he might as well make himself crazy.
So he pulls his covers off and sits up in his bed. Quickly wiping his eyes and slowly settles his feet on the floor. Immediately he searches for his phone which he has abandoned for about 4 days and when he finds it he erases all the messages he got from his mum. She's worried about him.
He's worried about himself.
He makes his way over to the closet in search for a bag and when he does find one big enough he throws random clothes and shoes in the bag.He walks towards his bathroom and when there, he only grabs the necessaries.
And that's really all he needs. So, he takes his phone and scrolls through his contacts and when coming onto the name that he was searching for he presses call, hoping it's still the same number.
It's ringing but it's taking too long and -
" 'lo, Louis?" It's uncertain and Louis is pretty sure he's shocked. They haven't spoken in years.
"Hey, Liam. I need a favor."
Harry spends the first week of his break at his mother's house in Holmes Chapel. It's quiet and relaxing and somehow exactly what he needs but when he goes out to take a walk there are still people asking for pictures and his autograph. It's like he's not the same boy that grew up in this exact same town only a few years prior and he wonders if someone will ever see him as Harry again instead of Harry Styles.
The second week he goes to London where he visits friends and goes out to clubs and he's papped on various occasions with a group of friends and somehow one of them always ends up being 'closer to him than the rest of them' and he's not sure if the media knowing that he's bisexual is a good thing or not. He supposes it's good that everybody accepts him the way he is. He puts up with the garbage being written about him in papers and social media and it's okay if he's around people who can distract him. It's when he's alone that everything gets too much.
The third week he disappears for a bit. He planned to go to LA and it's only when he's sitting in the airport's private lounge, ticket in his hand, that he decides to switch it up a bit. So, he buys a ticket to Cancún and sleeps for 16 hours when he arrives. It's not Summer or Spring break so the island is not packed with tourist and the locals are only half arsed with him and it's lovely, just relaxing and not worrying about people following him around. He spends the majority of his days on the beach in the sun with sunglasses on his eyes and nights he goes out to eat or enjoy the view from the hotel room and he really likes the third week.
When he's in LA the fourth week, he gets the call. It's on the third day he's back and when he sees who's calling he almost doesn't answer, but.
"What?" He snaps.
"Such a temper, Mr. Styles." Rings Mr. Johnson's voice at the other end of the line. "I thought you would've got rid of that temper in Cancún."
Harry just rolls his eyes. "What do you want?"
"I just called to tell you that you'll be receiving the tour schedule via email soon and we need you in London by the end of the week to go over your tour details."
After that, Harry can't enjoy the rest of the week and when he goes to a restaurant on the fifth day and walks straight through paps there is an article the next morning about how he's rude and ungrateful. He just simply groans and rolls his eyes.
When the day of the tour starts, Harry meets Niall and the band at Modest! Headquarters. It's an hour before they're suppose to depart and Liam hasn't shown up yet.
They're putting their bags in the two buses they'll be using. Seeing as how they're gonna be in Europe and the UK for almost 3 months. The first show is in Ireland and then Italy and after that Harry's not quite sure.
He didn't look at the tour schedule like he was suppose to.
When he had gotten back they had meetings of the tour details and what they'll be doing in between, like record the album and photo-shoots and Liam wasn't there.
Now that Harry thinks about it, he hasn't seen Liam since almost a month ago.
It's when he finally has his luggage packed away in bus 2, where they'll be sleeping, that Liam's black SUV rolls up.
30 Minutes before they should start.
Except, when Liam exist the vehicle there's another figure following him towards them and -
It's a boy. It's a boy with soft brown hair swept into a fringe and thin lips and blue eyes and - It's a boy who leaves Harry breathless. And the thing is, Harry doesn't believe in love, he gave up on that along time ago, but the boy is so beautiful and special. Harry can tell just by looking at him. There's a big smile on his face and crinkles by his eyes -
Yet, his eyes are empty.
Harry knows that look. He's seen it before. The ones who wears the biggest smiles usually has the most pain and Harry wonders for a moment why this absolutely breathtaking human bring could be sad but he's pulled out of his thoughts by Liam clearing his throat.
"Everyone this is Louis," He says and puts an arm around him. The boy, Louis, flinches for a moment when Liam's hand is around him before relaxing again. "And, he'll be joining us on tour."
Harry thinks this tour just got a lot more interesting.
Chapter 2: t w o
Hi, thank you all so much for the amazing feedback!
Here's the second chapter, I hope you enjoy it x
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
The thing about Louis, Harry very quickly notices, is that Louis is wearing a mask. They've been on the road for about a day and Louis has made everybody laugh at least once with the way he jokes around and pranks Liam. He's charming and funny and -
He's so empty, is the thing. But he hides it so well. He hides behind smiles and laughs and he's wearing a mask which makes Harry wonder, what happened to Louis?
What happened to this beautiful human being that it lead to him faking smiles and convincing people those smiles are real? Harry's sure he's the only one who can see Louis' actually hiding something. But he doesn't know what.
He has seen the mask, now he must just try to get it off and see the real Louis.
They're currently sitting at the kitchen counter in the bus. Everybody, excluding Harry, is laughing at a story Louis is telling them and he's laughing so loudly while telling the story, everybody laughing with him and he's got everybody wrapped around his little finger.
Since being introduced to Louis yesterday, Harry hasn't said a word to him other than the small 'hey' exchanged between them. He's pretty sure he's coming off as rude, but-
Harry doesn't trust people. It's not easy for him. Since the X-Factor, people have constantly used him for fame or money or fame and money and he just doesn't know who to trust anymore. So, he's been observing Louis, knowing if he's trustworthy. But the more he observes Louis the more he sees that Louis is anything but okay.
He decides to finally stop trying to come off as rude and ask the question he's been dying to know. He clears his throat when everybody's done laughing at the story Louis told and then he looks between Liam and Louis before asking, "So, Liam. How exactly did you meet Louis?"
Liam beams at the question and Louis avoids eye contact with everybody else. After another 10 second silence, Liam speaks up and his tone is lace with so much fondness. "Well, it's quite a funny story actually -"
"Not that funny," Louis murmurs from where he's sat directly next to Liam.
"Oh, Lou, don't be like that," Liam says as he looks to Louis and then at the rest of the curious people before continuing. Harry guesses they've all been wondering how the two met. "Anyway, let's see. I was 14 or 15? I think 14. And my family had decided to spent the Summer in Doncaster where Louis is from. I wasn't what you would have called social or like," Liam searches for the right word before he speaks up again, "Liked. You all know that right? So when my mum had enough of me just sitting in the house she sent me to the park. I was only at the park for about 30 minutes before these two really buff guys showed up and started harassing me out of the blue. I was pretty sure they were going to beat me up but then all of a sudden this really tiny-"
"I'm not tiny!" Louis interjects. He crosses his arms over his chest before pressing his lips together and narrowing his eyes at Liam, almost as if to try to prove a point. It's useless because, well - Louis is tiny. Adorably so.
"Like I was saying before being so rudely interrupted," Liam glares at Louis while saying it. "All of a sudden Mr. I'm-not-tiny shows up and he's like," Liam's voice goes an octave higher- trying to sound like Louis. "'Hey if you want him, you'll have to go through me first!' And you have to understand, those guys were like twice Louis' size but as soon as they approach him, he pulls out a tree branch out of nowhere and then he starts hitting the guys. They left with scratches 10 minutes later, while Louis came out without being hurt. I was pretty impressed. We've been friends ever since."
Liam smiles at Louis fondly while putting his arm around Louis' shoulders. At that, Louis' posture stiffens for a moment before he lets out a breath when he sees who is holding him. That's another thing about Louis that Harry's noticed - He doesn't liked to be touched, like at all. If somebody's too close to him or lays a hand on him, he'll flinch or walk the other way. It's pretty intriguing.
It's silent when everybody looks at Louis with a new found respect in their eyes.
"Of course," Liam says again, "We lost contact two years after my audition for the X-Factor. But then a month ago I get a call asking me for a place to stay. I couldn't let a friend down by refusing him that."
Harry's eyes narrow at that. Why did they lose contact? Why did Louis call a month before their tour? Is Louis using Liam? Is Liam aware of the fact that Louis is using him?
Harry is so confused. Louis confuses him. He decides that he doesn't trust Louis just yet.
When Niall brings up the topic of the first concert and everybody moves onto that, Harry looks over to where Louis is sat only to be met by two blue eyes. Louis' eyes are blue and pretty and lifeless when Harry stares at him. After 10 seconds of awkward eye contact, Louis looks away.
Harry doesn't trust Louis yet, but maybe in the future things can change.
Harry can't sleep. He's tried different positions to lay in and he even put on a relaxing playlist on his phone waiting for sleep to take over but he can't sleep.
It's been about 2 hours when everybody decided that tomorrow is a big day so they need their rest and now Harry regrets it, because it's 02:15 A.M. and the only company he has is the soft sound of music playing in his ears and the darkness that's surrounding him.
With a sigh he sits up and hits his head on the hardwood of the bunk above him. He always forgets the first few days of tour that they're sleeping in bunks and they need to get up carefully or else they'll have a new bump. Like the one Harry's sure is already forming on his forehead. He rubs over the sore spot a few times, trying to be as quiet as possible, before pulling his bunk's curtain open and throwing this legs over the side. Quickly making his way through the bunk section on the bus and maneuvering to where the lounge is.
It's when he's on the couch with the remote in his hand, ready to watch whatever garbage that will keep him entertained, is when he notices that the kitchen light is on which is - strange. Because he could've sworn that light was off when everybody went to bed, and if somebody were to be thirsty to get water or something then they could have maneuvered their way through the kitchen. They know the floor plan of it pretty well. So he gets up from the couch and when he enters the kitchen -
He's met with the sight of Louis, who has a cup of tea in his hands and who's staring out the window. His jumper is slightly too big which causes it to hang over his hands, creating sweater paws. When he hears Harry speak, he removes his gaze from the window to look at him and meeting his eye.
"Oh," He reciprocates.
They maintain eye contact for a few seconds before Harry clears his throat. "Sorry, I didn't know you were awake. 'S just the light was on and -"
"Was it bothering you?" Louis quickly interrupts. "I'm sorry. I just don't like the dark. I'll turn it off if it's bothering you though." He looks down into his cup of tea and Harry would be an idiot if he said Louis doesn't look lovely.
" It's fine," Harry moves to the counter and takes a seat that's opposites Louis' before speaking again, "Couldn't sleep?"
Louis looks up at him through his lashes, which might Harry add is quite long, before he looks down into his cup again and nodding- almost shyly. "Yeah. It's just a bit weird trying to sleep on a bus. Guess I'll have to get use to it from now on though."
Harry knows that all too well - Knows that on the first tour he had exactly the same problem and it had taken him nearly a month to get accustomed to trying to sleep on the moving bus, so he sympathizes with Louis.
"Yeah, it's a bit rough. You'll get use to it. Hopefully."
Louis looks to him with a soft smile on his lips before his eyes travel upwards. "What,uh, what happened to your forehead?"
Harry almost forgot about it, but being reminded his hand immediately flies up to his forehead to rub over the spot where he now can feel a bump. "Oh, I bumped it on the bunk on top of mine."
Louis tries to cover up his laugh with a cough, putting his sweater covered hand over his mouth. "Don't worry mate, happens to the best of us."
Harry finds himself smiling. He doesn't trust Louis and he knows Louis is hiding something but the boy is seriously nice. Even he can admit that.
It's silent for a few more moments before Louis takes the last sip of the tea he's drinking and speaks again,
"Well, I guess I'm off to bed." He stands up and puts his empty cup in the sink. "G'night Harry."
" Night Louis," He says while watching Louis retreat from the kitchen. Just when he looks away, Louis turns around again.
" Hey, Harry? I know, like, I know you don't trust me," he says softly, refusing to meet Harry's eye, "And, like, that's fine because, I don't trust you either. I mean, we barely know each other so it's understandable. But..can we," he pauses for a moment before continuing, "Can we, like, at least be friends or something? Because we're going to be on tour with each other for a long time and I don't want it to be awkward whenever we're in a room together."
Harry can only stare at him. Was it that obvious that he didn't trust Louis? He didn't think he was very obvious. Did Louis observe him like he observed Louis?
Realizing that he's staring too long, he only nods weakly before replying. "Okay. Yeah. You're right. Friends, I can do that."
Louis smiles. "Well, goodnight then friend." And then he turns around and walks out. This time, without stopping or even looking at Harry.
They sold out Croke Park.
They sold out Croke Park twice.
Which means that they'll be playing for 82,300 people twice in a row.
Which means that there'll be 164,600 people judging them within a timespan of 24 hours.
And Harry shouldn't be nervous because he's done it before already, but that doesn't stop the nauseous feeling he gets when they pull up to the stadium for soundcheck. The stadium looks bigger than last time and Harry's going to be sick. He can feel it.
When they get out of the minivan they've arrived in, all Harry can do is stare up at the stadium in awe. They're in an excluded part, away from the fans, so that they won't get modded.
Now that Harry can see the stadium, he finally knows how an ant feels when coming in contact with a human. He's never felt this small in his life. And it's weird because he's done this all before- Everything they're doing now has already been done and it's so familiar that it should feel like home by now, but it feels to Harry like walking onto the X-Factor stage for the very first time all those years ago and being scared of rejection.
He kind of wish he was rejected now.
"Hey, you alright?" Says a voice directly beside him. Louis.
Harry looks over at him and...and. He's struck with the beauty that Louis possesses. And it's not he's hit with how soft yet handsome Louis' face is. No, he's struck with the way Louis looks over the stadium with wonder in his eyes, a small smile on his face and the way he's talking to Harry but also observing everything around him and Harry doesn't understand how someone can be so beautiful while doing absolutely nothing but here Louis is and it's...unexplainable.
Louis is unexplainable.
He clears his throat when he realizes that he's staring too long before speaking, "Yeah, it's just...I'm kinda nervous, you know? Like, I've done this before but I'm still nervous."
Louis' eyes flicker to him, then back to the stadium and then to him again before a playful smile appears on his thin lips. "Don't worry. You're Harry Styles; you'll do great."
Harry know Harry Styles will do great. He's just not sure if just Harry will do great.
"I'm going to catch up with Liam, see if I can pull a prank on him before he gets too serious," Louis says and then walks the way the others went. All Harry can do is stare.
After Louis's long gone and Harry's not sure how much time he wasted just standing on the exact same spot, he hears a voice behind him and he nearly has an heart attack when they voice startles him out of his daze. "I ship it."
When he turns around he's met with Niall, who has his arms crossed in front of his chest and a smug little smile on his lips and Liam- who Louis went to look after for inside.
"Louis went inside looking for you," He says while looking at Liam who only shrugs.
"I've been standing here the whole time. If he would've turned around he would have seen me." He stops, but after a moment he gets the same smug smile on his face as Niall. "By the way, did you know you just stared at Louis leaving for 5 minutes?"
Before he can reply, Niall speaks,
"Hello? Did nobody hear me? I ship it."
Liam gets a confused expression on his face- which kind of makes him look like a lost puppy. "You what? What ship are you sending stuff to? Please don't tell me you've sent someone off on a ship, Niall. "
Niall rolls his eyes. "Fuck Liam, you're so embarrassing. I cannot even," he lifts his hands up to his temples, trying to make it seem like he's frustrated, and then he stops. Without explanation as to why he stops the sentence in the middle without continuing and it not only confuses Liam, but also Harry.
Niall rolls his eyes again. "Seriously, I'm talking fan code. How can you not know this?" He then looks over at Harry before he says again, "Anyway, I ship Larry."
What's Larry? Harry wonders.
"What's a Larry?" Liam asks.
By now, Niall actually looks frustrated before continuing, "It's Louis and Harry. I ship Louis and Harry."
"To where though?"
" Liam! Fuck! Stop trying to kill my vibe by asking me these stupid questions and figure it out before trying to even talk to me again," After that, Niall rushes past Harry and into the stadium and what the hell just happened?
Harry knows what ship means. He knows that Niall ships ' Larry ' and he still is confused as of to what just happened. He looks to Liam, who's taking out his phone and pressing it to his ear.
" What are you doing?"
" I'm calling Zayn," Liam says while he holds onto his phone. Harry just rolls his eyes and then turns around to start walking inside.
When he's a few feet away he can hear Liam's distressed voice. "Zayn, what does ship mean?"
It's when they've finished rehearsing and the support band is on stage that Harry finds himself in the private bathrooms with his head hung over the sink. He's thrown up twice in the past 10 minutes and he knows he's not done yet.
In the distance, he can hear the loud screaming of the fans and if he's honest - it just makes him sick way faster.
He barely registers when the door opens and feet start walking towards him, but he does feel it when a - almost careful - hand is placed on his back.
He looks up to Louis, who's smiling down at him softly and he's not talking but his smile says enough.
Itsnotokayitsnotokayitsnotokay - Harry replies with his eyes.
Louis smiles wider, his hand start to rub smooth circles on Harry's back.
It's okay; you're fine.
Harry doesn't bother with trying to reason with him, he just looks back into the sink. And that's how they stay until just a few minutes before he's suppose to go on stage - with Louis rubbing smoothly on his back, trying to comfort him, and Harry getting sick.
When he's done cleaning his mouth and he's sure he can, he faces Louis. "Thank you...for, this."
Louis shrugs. "It's fine.Are you okay now?"
He's not okay. He's not.
Louis knows he's lying, he can see it. "Good. Because you need to go on stage."
He nods before making his way over to the door.
"Hey, Harry?" Unlike the previous night, this time it's him turning around to face Louis. "It's okay to be nervous. Or scared, you know? You're only human."
He thought that people have forgotten that he is, indeed, a human and not a puppet.
He's grateful that Louis hasn't.
"Thank you," He replies sincerely before making his way out of the door and going backstage, where he knows he'll get yelled at for disappearing for so long.
When they're 30 minutes into the show and everything's going great - is when he looks to behind the curtains. He's sees Louis, throwing him two big thumbs up and then he smiles.
It's the first and only time his smile isn't fake during the concert.
After having going to a club and celebrating the start of a new tour and everybody nearly passing out because of how drunk they are when they get on the bus, is when Harry gets up to look for Louis.
He kind of hopes that Louis's in the kitchen again, because the light in on and everybody's asleep, but when he gets there he's met with an empty kitchen littered with what looks like toilet paper. He's not even going to try to wonder what happened there.
Deciding that he'll thank Louis in the morning, he turns around and makes his way over to his bunk. When he passes the bathroom though, he can hear small sniffs and see the light shining through from under the door.
And Harry's always been curious, so when he opens the door - unlocked, thank you - he sees Louis. He sits next to the toilet, with his knees presses to his chest and he's arms around his knees trying to hold then together. His face is hidden in his lap, but when he hears Harry enter he looks up. Tears are streaming down his face and his hair's a mess and his nose is red. He looks so small.
Harry immediately rushes over, putting his hand on Louis' back like he had done with Harry only a few hours prior, but the moment he touches Louis, he instantly stiffens.
"Please," he cries silently. "Please, don't touch me."
If Louis hadn't looked so vulnerable Harry would've been offended, but they way Louis is looking at him makes him take his hand away. He clears his throat.
"Right. Can I," he's aware that he sounds very awkward. "Can I do anything for you?"
"I need Liam," Louis sobs out and that's enough for Harry to rush out to Liam's bunk and shake him a few times.
" Harry?" Liam's sleepy voice says, Harry thinks Liam's wondering if it's a dream. "Are you okay?"
That's all it takes for Liam to sit up, wide awake. "Where is he?"
" Bathroom," Harry barely gets out before Liam's rushing past him to the bathroom to where Louis is.
When Harry gets there, Liam has a shaking Louis in arms and he's whispering ' It's okay. You're okay ' over and over in Louis' ear while Louis cries onto his chest.
He takes it as his queue to leave when his eyes meet Liam's, who sends him a grateful smile.
When his in his bunk, and the bathroom light is still on, he wonders for the 100th time of meeting Louis...
What the hell happened to him?
So, I promised funny scenes. Niall is me :/
What so you think? Does Liam know what happened to Louis? Did Liam and Louis not meet how they said they did? Why does Louis let Liam touch him? Does Liam finally know what shipping is?
Comment/ Kudos are always appreciated! :)
Chapter 3: t h r e e
Hi my lovelies! Thank you all so much for the amazing feedback!
Oh, if I say Niall is a larrie. I mean like hems ligit a larrie. Like one of us -__-
Enjoy the chapter my loves! xx
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
They don't talk about it.
When Harry wakes up the next morning, everybody is already up and having breakfast and when he enters the kitchen he thinks that maybe instead of the bus that he's actually in a war zone.
Everybody is scattered around the counter, dirty plates in front of them, cereal boxes lying between the plates and cereal spilling out of it. In the middle, there is orange juice, milk, coffee and tea. A cup, with what Harry hopes is water, is lying on its side and it causes the counter to be covered in a thin layer of water. Nobody pays it any mind.
By the stove, Louis is stood with his back turned to everybody, making pancakes. When Harry clears his throat, Louis turns around and gets a big smile on his face, "Oh, hi Harry!" He says way too cheerily, "I'm just making breakfast for all these hungover people. Do you want anything?"
Louis is cheery and Harry is so so so confused. This is the same guy that Harry had seen have a breakdown only a few hours prior. How can one person make themselves look okay so fast? Harry doesn't understand why he wants to know so bad, because Louis is basically a stranger but it still makes him so curious.
He wants to ask Louis what happened. What caused him to curl into himself on the bathroom floor at such a awful hour?
Realizing that he's staring too long, he nods at Louis and moves to the only available seat left next to Liam. Conveniently, it's the closest to the stove.
Harry thinks about asking Louis again, who has turned back to the stove, and when he turns around and opens his mouth he feels a hand on his bicep. It's Liam, who has his lips pressed into a thin line, his brows furrowed and who looks Harry dead in the eye- almost like he knows what Harry had wanted to ask Louis. The look on his face is simple.
And that's all that Harry gets but it's not enough- it's not an explanation. He wants to know, wants to ask Liam even but he's quickly cut off from his thoughts as Louis speaks up, "Alright, everybody! Second batch pancakes are done!"
A loud groan is heard around the table and then Niall, who's head had been previously rested on the countertop, speaks on everybody's behalf, "Louis, we love you and you're cool. But can you please shut the fuck up? Unlike you, we did drink last night and have to face the consequences."
Louis smirks then dramatically puts his hand on his chest, "I'm sorry. I guess I'll just-" and then he's shouting the next sentence, "Talk really loudly!"
Half of the people around the table gets up and flips Louis the finger, who in returns just gets an adorable smile on his face before waving them off.
Niall looks at Harry before speaking again. "Tell your boyfriend to shut the fuck up."
Louis turns around to face Niall and frowns. "What?"
Harry groans and puts his head in his hands. "'Larry'."
Louis' nose scrunch up and he looks so adorable. "What's Larry?"
Niall's eyes narrow at him. "Seriously? You too?" He looks to Liam then. "You. Tell him."
Liam beams- obviously knowing now what Niall is referring to, "Niall ships Larry. Larry is Harry and you, Louis. Shipping means when-"
"I know what shipping is," Louis interrupts, and looks to Harry. "But me and Harry huh? Niall, how on earth did you even come up with that?"
"You two'll look cute together," he shrugs. "Plus, I kinda see like a mutual chemistry flow when you two are together. It's inevitable. It's gonna happen soon."
Harry looks to Louis, who's looking between him and Niall before he addresses him. "You're weird, Niall."
"You have your hobbies and I have mine."
"Your hobbies include making up imaginary ships?" Harry speaks up do for the first time since entering the kitchen.
"That's where you're wrong, Harold," Niall says with a wide smile on his face, "For now, it might still be imaginary, but in the future it won't be. Now," He looks to Louis, "Where's my pancakes? I'm starving!"
Louis shakes his head before he places two pancakes on everybody's who's still at the counter's plates. Harry gratefully accepts his and he doesn't think anything of it, so he takes a bite of his first pancake and-
"Fuck, this taste like shit," Niall voices Harry's exact thoughts.
"Rude!" Louis says loudly, "I told you all that I'm not a great cook!"
"He burnt water," Liam says beside Harry, "Like, he ligit burnt water on a stove. I'm not even joking."
"You said you'll never tell anybody!" Louis accuses Liam, who just shrugs, "And, if it taste that bad then why did you eat the first batch?"
"We're hungover, what do you expect?" Lou says from across the counter.
Harry quickly realizes that there are two sides of Louis. A day Louis and a night Louis. The day Louis is the the one with the fake smiles. The pretender, as Harry would call him. The night Louis, is the real Louis. The sad, empty one. The one Harry wants to get to know.
The rest of the breakfast is spent like that - full of banter and jokes and Niall telling Louis that's he's never cooking again.
And still not talking about what happened in the bathroom.
The second concert goes well enough. Harry doesn't feel nervous or the need to be sick. He sings and throws water around and jokes with the band and he actually enjoys it.
Louis is behind the curtain the entire time watching him with a smile on his face.
It's when they're back on the tour bus, preparing to go to Italy already, that Harry feels the need to be sick again.
Him, Liam, Niall and Louis are sat in the lounge area, the rest of the people either in bus 1 or busy somewhere else. They're discussing what they enjoyed about Ireland and when Niall starts saying how proud he feels of himself, is when Harry's phone rings.
He looks at the screen and then sighs, "It's Johnson."
Niall stops talking. "Oh."
"Who's Johnson?" Louis asks, confused.
"He's, uh, he's the head of our management," Liam says, discomfort lacing in his voice. He looks to Harry before speaking again, "Aren't you going to get that?"
Harry presses his lips in a firm line and then taps the answer ' button before putting the device up to his ear.
"Mr. Styles, how lovely of you to finally pick up your phone." Is the greeting he gets.
Harry hates him, "What do you want? We just finished a concert and I'm tired. So make this quick." He's happy that he sounds rude.
"I'm just calling to inform you that once you get in Italy, you'll go on a date with upcoming model Sasha Graziani."
Harry's brows furrow together. Liam frowns. Niall smiles at him sympathetically. Louis looks confused.
It's obvious they heard.
Harry thinks that at the other end of the line Mr. Johnson is smiling. He can picture him, sitting in his high chair behind his desk. Looking over the London sky while at the same time ruining Harry's life with just a few sentences.
Harry shakes his head, forgetting that Johnson can't see him before speaking up, "No. No, you said the last tour was the last time shit like this was going to happen."
"Mr. Styles, we are well aware that we said that. But," Harry hates him, "This is simply to get your name in the papers."
"Bullshit!" Harry says, his voice angrier than intende. "We just started stadium world tour. I'm pretty sure my name is in the papers!"
"On the contrary," Harry can hear the smugness in his voice, "We just want to get you mentioned in a few papers. Everything we do, we do for the benefit of the band."
Harry stands up, pinching the bridge of his nose, "No. No, I refuse to do this."
"Harry, you realize that by not doing this you are not only putting your career, but also the career of your bandmates and entire crew in danger, right?" Mr. Johnson accuses Harry. He makes it sound like Harry is the one doing something wrong by refusing to go on a forced date.
He looks to Liam and Niall, who are eyeing him with sad expressions. It's not the first time something like this has happened. He huffs. "Fine. I'll do it."
"Yes, I thought that would convince you," he hears Mr. Johnson say smugly. Harry hates him with every fiber of his body, "You'll be receiving the email with the exact details of this date by tomorrow morning. Enjoy your evening further, Mr. Styles." The line died after that and all Harry can do is stare at the wall.
He feels tired and frustrated and so - so manipulated.
He feels the need to get his frustration out- so he kicks the couch and storms out of the room to his bunk, knowing that there are three pairs of eyes following him.
He doesn't leave his bunk until a few minutes past two in the morning, when he's absolutely sure that everybody's asleep. When he enters the kitchen, he switches the light on and goes to the fridge, looking for something to ear considering he didn't eat before nor after the concert.
When he's settled on leftover homemade pizza, he quickly puts it in the microwave and when it's done he hops onto one of the chairs and puts the plate with three slices of pizza in front of him.
Just as he's about to take his first bite, a voice behind him clears their throat. He thinks he's familiar with that voice by now.
"He's alive," Louis says smiling, while taking a seat beside Harry. "I actually thought you died. Didn't come out of that bunk for a minimum of four hours."
Harry knows he should be irritated. He knows that it's only suppose to be him in the kitchen, but he can't get himself to be mad at Louis. Not when he's wearing a too big jumper and too long pajama bottoms, which hung over his bare feet. He's smiling softly at Harry, his hair a mess on top of his head, indicating that he had been in bed. All Harry can do is return the soft smile.
"Yeah," he begins. "Sorry about earlier. You know, me just storming off like that."
Louis shrugs. "It's okay. Liam explained everything."
It's silent for a few seconds before Louis speaks again, "Harry...I know it's not, like, any of my business or anything and we're barely what people can consider friends. But like, I'm here if you want to talk about it, okay?"
Harry doesn't want to talk about it. He doesn't want to tell people his problems, but with the way Louis is looking at him- so uncertain, and beautiful and his smile is so soft (what is it with this boy and soft smiles when he's around Harry?) and in a way, so interested. Interested in knowing Harry's problem. Interested so that he can help Harry with his problem.
Harry thinks it's the first time in almost four years that a stranger(can Harry still call him that? They barely know enough about each other, so he thinks it's fitting) is actually interested in helping him without wanting something in return.
Harry doesn't know what comes over him, but before he can catch himself he speaks, "It's just...I don't, like, I don't know what to do. Like, I don't want to be forced to go on a date. But it's gonna be so selfish of me to say no, because I'm putting a lot of peoples careers in danger and-"
"Harry," Louis interrupts, "You know your management's manipulating you to do this, right? Emotionally, they're fucking with your head."
"I know," he begins, "But, like. The contract states that we have to follow their orders and by refusing they can cut us off their label."
"Can't you just sign with another label then?" Louis asked with confusion lacing his tone.
Harry shakes his head, "No. They can literally sue us and the other label if we try to do that. We're signed with them until 2017. So until then, they literally own us."
"I'm sorry," Louis says while reaching over as putting his hand over Harry's. He looks so small and pretty and he's trying to comfort Harry and it means more than it's suppose to.
"I just," Harry begins, "I'm confused and I don't know what to do anymore. Like, the media portrays me as this womanizing jerk and the fans portrays me as this healthy eating softie. And I'm not either of those, but that's what management wants- I just don't know."
Louis frowns. "Well, who's the real Harry then?"
Harry doesn't answer, not because he doesn't want to but because he can't. His management has changed Harry Styles so many times over the years, that he guesses somewhere along the road just Harry got lost. He doesn't know who he is. He knows who he's suppose to be, but he has no idea who he is.
He guesses that Louis realizes he doesn't want to answer because soon after he clears his throat before smiling. "Right well, I guess it's time for bed then."
He doesn't get up though. He looks at Harry, almost expectantly.
So Harry says the only thing that comes to mind, "You can stay. Like, if you want to. You can talk to me."
Louis smiles and nods. "Okay...Is this gonna become a thing?"
"What?" Harry asks, confused.
"Like, you and I. Talking when everybody's asleep. Is it gonna become a thing?"
Harry smirks. "Maybe."
That night, he learns a lot about Louis. He learns his birthday. He learns that Louis is gay and single. He learns that Louis has a degree in English. He learns that Louis has a big family also.
He learns a lot about Louis. But he doesn't learn everything.
They're playing two shows at San Siro stadium in Milan and they're lucky enough to get off the tour bus and spend the three nights( they get today to rehearse) in a five-star hotel.
Once they've settled on room arrangements, everybody disappears to their rooms. Harry has his own room and it's beautiful- he has a view of the entire city of Milan and his room itself is so lovely, but-
But he's got an arranged date in less than four hours so he can't concentrate on anything. He got the details of the date this morning- he's to meet her at his hotel, leave together, make sure to get papped, go out to eat, make sure to get papped, drop her off, make sure to get papped.
Conveniently, there's going to be three different paps.
Three hours later when Lou had done his hair and picked out his clothes, a black and red button down with the first few buttons undone and black skinny jeans, he gets a call from the front desk.
"Mr.Styles, there's Miss Sasha Graziani here for you," A thick Italian accent rings through at the other end of the line.
Harry sighs, "Tell her I'll be right down."
"Will do, Sir."
Harry quickly checks himself in the mirror, making sure he's dressed well enough for how he knows management will like it, before making his way to the elevator and down to the lobby.
What greets him there unexpected. It's not Sasha - She's quite beautiful. Her lips are full and pink, her honey colored hair in a neat braid, her blue eyes are covered with light mascara and she's only wearing a little makeup. She's in black jeans that clung to her skinny legs like a second skin, and the top she's wearing is covering everything important. - that surprises him though.
It's Niall. Who's standing two feet away from Sasha and glaring at her with a deadly expression and saying something Harry can't hear. If looks could kill, Harry's sure Sasha would be six feet under. The girl spots him, and the look he gives him is a pleading one before she looks back at Niall. When Harry gets close he can hear Niall's words, "- he doesn't belong with anybody else except Louis. You got me?"
Harry sighs and makes his presence known to the blonde boy,"Niall, what are you doing?"
Niall quickly turns around to face him before plastering a -fake- smile on his face, "I was just having a nice little chat with our buddy Sasha here!" He throws his arm around her neck before directing his next question to her. "Isn't that right, buddy?"
Sasha looks at Niall, then Harry and back to Niall before nodding, "Yes."
Her accent is thick and her voice is lovely. Harry only raises his eyebrows. "Okay. Well, I think it's time to go now Sasha. Goodbye, Niall."
Niall removes his arm from the girl's neck before pressing his lips to her ear and whispers loud enough so Harry can hear, "And remember, I'm watching you."
He quickly rushes past Harry to the elevator but before stepping into it he looks back to Sasha, lips presses into a thin line and eyebrows furrowed. He lifts two fingers up to his eyes firmly and then points them at Sasha. She actually looks scared.
Harry clears his throat before addressing the girl for the first time since stepping into the lobby. "I'm sorry about Niall. He's...weird."
Sasha shakes her head before speaking, her accent sounding as smooth as chocolate. "It's fine."
"Right. Okay, shall we go?"
She nods, and then Harry takes her hand. He's sure management would just absolutely love that.
When they're seated in the car, it's still a bit awkward. So Harry decides to try to make conversation. After all, he's going to be spending the rest of his night with her, "So, why are you doing this?"
A confused expression settles on her beautiful face. "Excuse me?"
"I mean, what are you getting out of going on a date with me?"
"Oh," she looks down and blushes before speaking after a few seconds of silence again, "Well, I guess I'll get my name out there? That's what your management told me."
Harry snorts and turns his head to look out of the window, watching as they pass the buildings. "You do realize that you're going to get an endless amount of hate from my fans, right?"
She looks down, adverting her eyes to her lap. "No. I didn't know that."
Harry looks to her. Just like himself, she, too, was manipulated into this. Except, she actually had a choice.
Harry lifts his hands up to his hair as sweeps it through his shoulder length hair. "Hey, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to sound rude."
She looks to him and flashes him a smile, it's not a soft smile like the ones he gets when he's with Louis.
When they get to the restaurant and exit the car, Harry spots the pap and takes Sasha's hand in his.
He can already tell that it's going to be a long night.
When he gets back from the 'date' it's past midnight. He kicks off his shoes and flops down onto the bed, already relaxing when his face hits the pillow.
The date had gone had gone well - turns out Sasha is quite funny, he had made him laugh through the entire meal and she even threw a breadstick at a rich looking broke- until they had to leave the restaurant. Somebody had tipped them off and when leaving, they had been mobbed. Hundreds of fans were there and Harry had to hold Sasha's hand for comfort because she wasn't used to it. Harry's glad he's become immune to getting mobbed by now.
He had dropped Sasha off at her apartment before returning to the hotel. He hadn't realized what time it was.
Before drifting off to sleep, Harry sees the city light outside his window. The brightness of the light reminds him of Louis.
When they've done they're shows and they're back on the tour bus, Harry goes to the kitchen after two in the morning.
He's reading the article about him and Sasha over for the hundredth time. Apparently they've been ' texting for awhile ' a close source reviels. He rolls his eyes at that.
He's scrolling through twitter when Louis enters the kitchen, a smirk evident of his face. "You knew, I wasn't serious when I asked if these meetings were gonna become a thing."
Harry logs out of twitter and puts his phone on the counter before shrugging. "Maybe I was."
When they were in Milan, Louis and him had grew closer. Louis had comforted him when the article had come out and was there behind the curtain at the concerts pulling funny faces at him.
Although Louis still won't tell him what happened to him, or why he's so sad even though he acts happy, Harry can tell that if they continue like this, they'll be great friends.
Louis takes the seat opposite him and smiles. "Okay."
And just like that, it becomes a thing.
I think I'm gonna update the chapters within six days after the last one.
Kudos/ Comments are always appreciated here, thoothoo!
Chapter 4: f o u r
Hello all my loves!
Thank you all for the feedback on the last chap x
So I really like this chapter, I hope you do too!
Enjoy my lovelies :) x
A vague uneasiness settles in Harry's stomach as he sits and watches Louis from across the kitchen counter. The blue eyed beauty is sipping on the cup of lukewarm tea he had made himself and Harry only a few minutes prior.
He looks stunning.
The uneasiness is something Harry has been getting a lot lately - and only when he's with Louis. It's something unfamiliar - yet, in a way Harry knows it.
It's past two in the morning, the only sound that can be heard is the tick,tick,tick of the clock besides the fridge.
They don't speak.
And it's not like the silence is awkward or anything. On the contrary actually. It's comfortable. It's the kind of silence that makes you smile. Harry likes it. Because he had realized soon enough that sometimes he and Louis don't need words.
It's been a week since these late night meetings has become an official thing and Harry knows that he should be sleeping, knows that in less than few hours they're playing their first and only show in Brussels. He knows that instead of just watching Louis watch him, he should rest -
But with they way Louis is looking at him - softly with a little smile on his lips - he doesn't think sleep could be better than this.
He clears his throat. " So..."
Louis sets his cup of tea down, dainty hands resting on top of the counter. His cup is halfway done now. Harry's still untouched and resting in front of him. " So?"
They make eye contact. Louis' eyes look happy, in a way. Harry wonders why.
Harry looks to the clock then to a cupboard past Louis' head and then to the fridge before he finally settles on Louis' eyes. "Planning to do something in Brussels?"
Louis shrugs. " Dunno. We're staying at the hotel until the day after tomorrow, right?" Harry nods at him before Louis continues. "Might prank Liam or someone. Haven't done that in a while."
" Why have you pranked almost everybody except me?" Harry wonders. It's probably not a good idea to ask because Louis might get ideas to prank him and...well, Louis' pranks usually end up with somebody either crying or covered in something. Not something Harry wants.
The corner of Louis' lips lift upwards as he looks to Harry through his dark lashes. " Oh, Harry. You don't need me to publicly embarrass you. You manage that pretty much all on your own with the way you trip over everything." He says playfully.
" Heyyy," Harry says mock offended. He's not even angry because it's mostly true. Yesterday he tripped over a rock, which would've been okay if he were alone. He wasn't.
Louis picks up his cup of tea again. Harry's cup still stands untouched before him. They settle into a silence again before Louis clears his throat. Harry looks at him, he looks uncomfortable and refuses to make eye contact when speaking. " Can I ask you something?"
Harry lifts one eyebrow, having no idea why Louis would be uncomfortable with asking him something. " Sure."
" Okay," Louis says and takes the last sip of tea before placing the cup on the counter. " I know your management team are a bunch of dicks that only care about themselves," Harry smiles at that- Louis has started to dislike their management just as much as they themselves do. " And like, obviously you're bisexual. But, like, I can't picture them being cool with that. And you're out, so how is that possible?"
Harry thinks back to the day that he came out. It wasn't on purpose, actually. It was about a year and half ago, when they were touring in America and the crew had decided that they should go out one night after a show and Harry had agreed, because why the hell not? Turns out, Harry is a very touchy drunk. As soon as he had took his fourth shot, there was a pretty boy under his arm and Harry had found himself kissing the boy pretty soon.
People had obviously taken pictures of it, because woah Harry Styles is kissing a boy, and when Harry had woken up the next day- he didn't only have a massive hangover but also about a thousand articles written about him, questioning his sexuality.
His management had obviously been furious and had already planned the story they would've spinned for the media ( the boy had taken advantage of a drunk Harry, was what they were going to say) but it turned out that, instead of losing fans, Harry had only gained new ones. The LGBT community had reacted so greatly to it, that Mr. Johnson himself had told Harry that he could come out. Harry had been delighted.
Harry tells this to Louis who looks at him then smiles. " That's actually nice of them."
" Not really," Harry says while playing with the handle of his cup that's still filled with his tea. " Like you said, they only care about themselves. If people would've reacted badly to that, there's no way I would have been sitting here openly Bi."
Louis' nose scrunch up a bit when he hears that. " Fuck, I don't like them."
The laugh that Harry lets out is loud - so loud that he has to cover his mouth with his hands to stop himself from waking the other people on the bus. " You're not the only one, Lou."
Louis tilts his head to the side and lifts his right eyebrow while looking at Harry. "Lou?" He questions.
" It's cute." Harry shrugs.
A small smirk appears on Louis' face when he looks at him. " Okay, Haz."
They sit in silence for a few moments before Harry thinks of something. He thinks he and Louis are cool enough with each other, so he asks the question he's been wondering since meeting Louis. " Why don't you like being touched?"
Turns out, him and Louis are not cool enough with each other because as soon as the words leave his mouth, Louis' face goes blank and his body stiffens. His eyes dart everywhere- except to Harry.
" I-I," Louis stutters, " I just...I don't," his hands are shaking and when he notices he closes them to form fist and then he clenches them, making his knuckles turn white. " I just...It makes me uncomfortable." He finally says, without looking at Harry.
He looks so small while saying it. He looks almost like the time Harry had found him in the bathroom- vulnerable. Harry instantly regrets asking it. Instantly regrets making Louis feel like this.
" I'm sorry." He breathes.
Louis looks him in the eye and smiles a weak smile- it's fake. Like the one he wears during the day when he's not around Harry. " It's okay."
It's not. It's really not okay.
Harry shouldn't have ever brought it up, because now they sit in awkward silence- not looking at each other. Louis clears his throat. "Right, well. Big day tomorrow. So I'm going to bed."
Harry doesn't say anything as he watches Louis- who looks possibly smaller than usual- walk out of the kitchen into the darkness that is known as the bunk bed area.
He doesn't turn around.
Harry realizes that unfamiliar uneasiness in his stomach is Louis. He doesn't know it, but somehow he does. And the best part is that it's the best kind of uneasiness.
Louis is the best kind of uneasiness. The best kind of confusing.
Harry finally takes a sip of his tea.
Louis doesn't come to them with soundcheck. It doesn't bother Harry.
Except, it does.
He knows it's because of him. He knows Louis is ignoring him, because as soon as they got to the hotel this morning he avoided even saying hello to Harry. And Harry feels like shit.
He doesn't know if it's the fact that Louis is ignoring him or if he upset him.
Harry hasn't felt this way in years.
Harry's not stupid- far from it. He knows he likes Louis. He knows that he likes the gorgeous boy more than he's suppose to because, well...
Harry's not scared, per se. He's cautious. People tend to hurt each other when they're in love, whether they're aware of it or not.
Like his parents. They were happy and then one day, everything just went downhill. They started fighting and ignoring each other and eventually when he was 8, they had a divorce. Harry had been confused at the time.
" If you love each other, then why aren't you married to each other anymore?" He had asked his mother one day when she was sitting on the couch playing with his hair.
She had smiled sadly at him and ran her fingers through his- then flat- hair before speaking. "Sometimes love isn't enough."
The divorced had finalized two days before that.
And now, at age 21, he had convinced himself that he doesn't believe in love. Even after his mother had found a wonderful man. Even when his friends had found wonderful partners- like Liam and Sophia.
So he's not in love with Louis. He is, however, in like with him. But he's not suppose to be. At all.
They stay at the stadium rehearsing the entire day. When the support band is on the stage practicing their songs, Harry finds himself in the dressing room.
" Ye' alright, mate?" Niall asks, setting down a can of soda he had been devouring, on the table. He face is a bit red- probably from laughing at Josh, who had slipped on water a few minutes ago.
Harry nods. " Yeah. I'm nervous, 's all."
Niall smirks at him. He looks a bit wolfish. "Nervous because your good luck charm isn't here?" Harry looks at him, tilting his head to the side and lifting his eyebrows. Niall continues. " Don't think I haven't noticed the way Louis always stands behind the curtain throwing you a thumbs up."
Harry swallows. " We're friends, Niall."
" Friends don't look at each other the way you and Louis look at each other...but," Niall picks up his forgotten can of soda off the table, bringing it to his lips and while taking a sip he looks at Harry through his lashes before he continues. " That's none of my business."
Harry's speechless. They look at other differently? Harry hasn't noticed. He doesn't think anybody's noticed, except Niall- who is slightly obsessed with him and Louis together.
He must look confused because pretty soon Niall speaks again. " By the way. The kitchen light on the bus is way too bright at arse o'clock in the morning."
Niall winks at him before turning around and walking towards Liam, who's choosing his outfit for tonight.
All Harry can do is stare.
The show that night isn't one of Harry's favorites. He keeps forgetting his words and he finds himself looking towards the curtain every few minutes, looking to see if a certain brunette would be there looking back at him.
He's met with disappointment every time.
When they get back to the hotel, Dan suggest they go clubbing and most of the crew agrees, seeing as they don't have a show tomorrow.
Harry, however, plans on sitting in his room the entire night watching movies or something. That is until Liam comes storming through his room, with Louis hot on his heels.
They don't make eye contact.
" Harry!" Liam says with panic lacing his voice." Can I barrow a fedora?"
Harry raises his eyebrow from where he's sitting on the bed- laptop in his lap, already warming up. " Why?"
Liam begins to pace back and forth, a worried expression on his face. " Because, I have no idea what to wear and I think if I have a fedora I might get inspired."
From where he's standing against the wall, Louis sighs. " Mate, just go in those clothes. Didn't you only wear them for the last two songs?"
Liam snaps his head towards Louis as he glares at the boy. " Mate, I sweated all night. I think a change of clothes will be much appreciated."
Louis only shrugs at him then. Liam continues to pace and then all of a sudden it looks like a lightbulb went off in his head- he snaps his fingers in the air as his face lights up. " I know!" Reaching into his backpocket he retrieves his phone, "I'll just call Zayn. He'll help me, unlike you traitors."
Liam's out of the room within a matter of seconds. Harry looks to Louis, who's looking at him. He clears his throat. " Are you going out tonight?"
Louis nods and then walks to the door which has been left open by Liam. He's just about to walk out when he stops and looks over his shoulder at Harry. " You should come."
And that's how Harry finds himself sitting in a too loud club, with too loud people and too much booze which he wasn't planning on drinking.
He's sitting in a booth with Liam sitting across from him. They're the only two who's not planning to drink anything tonight.
Liam, wearing black skinny jeans and a blue flannel ( 'Zayn's so stylish' Liam had said when he stepped out of the elevator, unaware of the fact that everybody had been waiting for him) looks around the club and when his eyes land on something he get a small smile on his face. " Would you look at that?"
Harry turns to the bar, where he's met with the sight of Niall currently downing shot after shot and Louis, who looks just as drunk, is cheering him on. He shakes his head. " Would hate to be them tomorrow."
" I would hate to be anybody besides you or I tomorrow," Liam says while taking a sip of the water he ordered himself. " So why aren't you drinking, H?"
Harry turns to face Liam again and pulls his shoulders up a bit." Don't feel like it. You?"
" Well somebody has to get all those drunk arsses back to the hotel. Who knows what would've happened if I decided to drink too and you didn't come out? One of us might've been kidnapped. Or get lost."
Harry only half smiles at that before he looks toward the bar again. Louis is standing with a beer bottle in his hand and a big smile on his face. A bigger smile than Harry's ever seen him wear. And it's real.
And he's so beautiful.
Even when drunk, Louis still looks absolutely amazing. He's wearing black skinny jeans and a black shirt that says ' Love Will Tear Us Apart '. His hair is swept into a fringe and his eyes sparkle. So beautiful.
As the night ( morning ) proceeds, Harry watches as his friends get more drunk, occasionally buying himself a Coke or something. It's past one AM when he talks to Liam for only what he swears is a minute and when he looks back to the dance floor, his eyes can't find Louis. He feels a wave of panic wash over him, mumbling a quick 'excuse me' to Liam, and then he makes his way over to where Niall is dancing, at least ten other people surrounding the bubbly blonde.
" Niall!" He shouts over the sound of the music. " Niall! Where's Louis?"
Niall looks at him then before he too shouts back at Harry." What?"
" Where's Louis?" He shouts a bit louder.
Niall looks confused. " Who's Louis?"
Harry sighs and rubs his fingers over his temple. It's kind of difficult to find Louis when Niall forgot who he is. Suddenly, he gets an idea. " Niall, where's Larry?"
At that, Niall beams. He looks to Harry. " I love Larry too!"
" Yes, Niall. I know! But where's Larry?"
" Oh!" Niall throws his head back and a loud laugh escapes his mouth. " In the bathroom!" He grabs a random girl and throws an arm around her neck, " Do you love Larry too?" The girl, obviously too drunk to know what's going on around her just nods and when Niall sees this he kisses her. " Me too!"
Harry just shakes his head and turns around to walk towards the bathroom. After a lot of squeezing through sweaty bodies, he finally makes it to the mens room.
Upon entering, he smells vomit. It reeks and Harry just wants to get Louis and get out. There are 5 stalls and 2 of them are closed. The second one and the last one.
Harry searches through the open ones first and when he doesn't find Louis in them he goes to the second one. It's not locked.
When he opens the door, he's met with the sigh of Louis- who's breathing heavy with his head on the toilet seat. It's obvious he'd thrown up.
" Oh, Louis," Harry says softly, while getting on his knees to crawl over to the boy. He doesn't know how to comfort Louis- so he simply just softly pets his hair. " Why on earth did you drink so much, love?"
" Sometimes," Louis slurs. " Sometimes I just want to forget. And the alcohol helps. But just now I remembered," he lifts his head from the toilet. When he looks at Harry, there are tears in his blur eyes. " I remembered but I wasn't suppose to. Why can't I forget, Harry?" There are tears running down his cheek now. Harry thinks he still looks lovely.
He doesn't understand what Louis is trying to say- Remembered what? He wants to ask- but he would rather have a sober Louis, who trust him enough to tell him on his own, say it to him than an over emotional drunk Louis. So instead he asks him, " Wanna go back to the hotel?"
Louis nods and then stands up- swaying a bit from left to right when he can't find his balance yet.
" Can I guide you out?" Harry asks. Seeing as it's the only way they'll get out of the club.
Louis' eyes go wide and he frantically shakes his head. " I don't like being touched."
A tired sigh escapes out of Harry's mouth. " Please? It's the only way we'll get back to the hotel," for an afterthought he adds. " I won't hurt you."
Louis' eyes, still wet from crying, looks at him. He looks vulnerable and fragile. It looks like he's thinking it over in his head before he slowly nods. " Okay...Okay. But, don't hurt me. Please don't hurt me."
It intrigues Harry. Who hurt Louis?
He sends Liam a text, saying that he and Louis are going back to the hotel and that they're safe.
He places his hand gently on Louis' back and guides him toward the exist of the club.
When they arrive back at the hotel 15 minutes later, Harry lets Louis sleep in his room considering he can't open the room Louis' sharing with Liam without the key. He lets Louis sleep on the bed and plumps himself down onto the hard couch with nothing but one pillow and a thin blanket.
In the morning when he wakes up, Louis is gone and Harry feels sad over that fact.
Considering the fact that they're only leaving tomorrow, some of the people go out exploring during the day. Harry stays in, hoping Louis would come and find him.
But he doesn't.
Not until the clock reads 01:34 AM and Harry hears a soft knock on his door.
He wasn't sleeping- thoughts too occupied with Louis- so when he opens the door to see Louis standing on the other side, with his arms around his middle and his too big jumper, a sigh of relief escapes his mouth.
" I'm sorry," is the first thing Louis says when they make eye contact with each other. " I'm sorry for ignoring you."
Harry only nods, his hand still on the door handle.
" Can," Louis starts. " Can I come in?"
Harry steps to the side to let the boy in. As Louis walks over to the couch, Harry closes the door and follows him. He takes a seat opposite Louis.
They sit in silence. It's not a comfortable one and it's not an uncomfortable one. Harry doesn't have that uneasiness settling in his stomach.
" I'm sorry for last night, too." Louis says after a while. Harry watches him. Sees how his hands are trembling underneath the length of the jumper. Sees how his leg bounces up and down. Sees how he bites his chapped lip.
They maintain eye contact.
Harry looks him over. They've known each other for weeks now and all Harry wants to do is figure Louis out. So he says. " I wanna know you Louis."
Louis looks confused. " You do know me."
" No," Harry shakes his head. " No. I want to know you Louis. The real you. The sad you."
Louis takes in a sharp breath- mouth slightly open, " I-I...I'm not sad."
It's a blatant lie. Obvious.
" You are, " he begins, " It's not obvious. I think I'm the only one who's noticed. But like, I can see it in your eyes. They're empty. Which sucks because they're so pretty and deserve to be full of life."
Louis looks at him in shock. His mouth is ajar and his eyes wide.
" I want to know you Louis," Harry says again. " And I don't care how long it's going to take me to get to know you but, like, I'm willing to wait to figure you out."
They look at each other. There are no words exchanged between them for at least two minutes.
Then Louis stands up from the couch. Harry thinks he's going to leave- like he'd done the previous night- but Louis is walking towards him and then he takes the seat to Harry's left. They're very close.
They stare at each other for awhile before Louis adverts his eyes to his arm. Harry's tattoos are on full display for Louis to look over and after awhile the small boy takes one of his small hands out of his lap to place it on Harry's arm. It's a careful touch.
" You can get to know me, " Louis softly whispers. His voice sounds small. " But not now. When the time is right."
Harry nods at that. He can wait. He will wait.
Louis begins to softly trace his hand over Harry's tattoos. It's a soft caress, so smooth. His hands go over the skull and the boat and both of the hearts and the -
" Can I stay?"
Louis's looking up at him through his lashes. His hand is still on his arm. All Harry can do is stare back.
He's not sure if Louis's reading the tattoo off his arm or if he's asking Harry if he can stay with him tonight, so Harry says the only thing on his mind.
Chapter 5: f i v e
I'm not even gonna lie, I hate this chapter :/
I hope you enjoy it my lovelies x :)
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Harry's not sure what he expected from Louis after the night that they shared together. He didn't expect Louis to be happy, fuck that's going to take far too long to happen. He didn't expect Louis to tell him what happened to him. He didn't expect Louis to trust him with his life, either.
But he also didn't expect Louis to completely shy away from him.
He thought that they could move forward. But it's like they went one step forward and two steps back.
After Harry let Louis sleep in his bed, he had taken the couch for himself only to wake up with a sore back and Louis-less room.
And it shouldn't have upset him as much as it did but-
But it did.
So Harry had made his way over to Liam's room to find out where Louis was and why he left him so early considering it was only 07:13 A.M.
"Hey," He greeted as soon as Liam answered the door. He nervously looked at Liam before finally he finally asked him about Louis. "Do you know where Louis is?"
Liam glanced back into the room with an uncomfortable look in his eyes before looking back at him sympathetically. "No, sorry Harry."
Harry didn't believe him because Liam was a shit liar. But nonetheless he nodded and went back to his room to pack for their next show in Spain.
So now it's officially a day later and Harry still hasn't seen Louis, even though they've mostly been on the busses. He thinks that Louis may be on the other bus, which okay?
He's come to the conclusion that he's being avoided but he doesn't understand why. Because as soon as he asks about Louis he will receive a sympathetic look with a reply of "sorry haven't seen him."
So it's when they're in Madrid that Harry comes up with a plan to confront Louis. They're only staying a day- for the show, so they aren't booking into a hotel to stay at.
When Harry's certain that everybody is off the bus and in the stadium he makes his way over to Lou's things to search for foundation to apply on his face. It makes him look paler than usual, if that's even possible, but Harry still smiles at that while rubbing the light-colored makeup all over his face.
When he's done washing and cleaning his hands, he makes his way off the bus and into the stadium. He makes sure to frown as he enters through the back door. People on the crew look at him weirdly as he passes them and some even ask him if he's okay, which pleases him because his plan is working.
He coughs when he enters the dressing room, where Liam and Niall are. Lou's in the corner rearranging their close for tonight but when she sees Harry she frowns. "You okay?"
"Yeah, I just-" He interrupts himself by putting a hand before his mouth and makes his cough as believable as possible. "I just feel a bit under the weather."
"You do look pale." Niall says as he eyes Harry up and down. He looks suspicious.
" I do?" Harry makes what he hopes is a questioning look before moving across the room to where the mirror is and observing himself. "I do look pale. S'pose I might've caught something."
"Are you going to be able to play tonight?" Liam suddenly asks from where he's sitting on the couch. His phone is in his hands. Harry's sure he was busy texting someone- maybe Sophia, he's not really sure. Could be one of his sisters, or maybe he has a problem, so might as well be Zayn.
"Yeah," Harry says and then takes a seat on the chair. He makes sure to let out a light cough.
"Huh," Niall crosses his arms over his chest and his one leg over the other one. He still looks suspicious. "You looked fine this morning."
At that Liam and Lou looks at him. And okay, things would've been much easier for him if Niall weren't so observant. He swallows a lump in his throat. "You know what they say, you can't choose when you're going to be sick."
"Nobody's ever said that," Niall says and then turns around to walk out of the door. When he's in the doorframe he turns around to look at Harry. "But I suggest you lay down a bit. Y'know, wouldn't want you to get more sick then you already are."
Liam looks at the door with a confused expression-that makes him look like a puppy- on his face before he shrugs and turns to Harry. "Don't know what his problem is but yeah, you should lay down."
Harry nods and closes his eyes, trying not to smile too much because he convinced most people that he is feeling sick- so he just hope the news gets to Louis too.
For the rest of the day Harry lays on the couch, groaning to himself and even splashing water on his forehead when nobody pays attention to him, to make it looks like he's sweating ( he's got to make it as believable as possible). He doesn't rehearse with the boys and it's when the support band starts playing that he suddenly bolts up and runs to the bathroom and as he runs past the crew he sees Louis, who looks at him full of confusion.
When he's in the bathroom, he locks himself in a stall. After exactly two minutes (he counted) he hears the bathroom door open and soft steps makes their way over to the stall he's currently in.
The steps come to a halt when they've reached his stall and then a light knock on the door.
"Harry?" Louis' voice is soft as he speaks. A grin takes over Harry's face because fuck yes, his plan worked. "Are you okay?"
He coughs. "Yeah, sorry. Just don't feel well."
" Oh-okay," Louis says with concern lacing his tone. "Do you want me to get you anything?"
Harry stands up from where he's taken a seat on the floor before he unlocks the door to come face to face with Louis, "You can tell me why you've been ignoring me."
Louis's face goes from confused, to shock and then angry. "You tricked everybody into thinking you're sick just to talk to me?"
"When you put it like that-" Harry's interrupted by Louis as he turns away to walk around and- no, that can't happen, so he does the only thing he can think of. He quickly reaches out and grabs Louis' dainty wrist in his hand and Louis immediately flinches at the skin to skin contact. Harry retrieves his hand and when Louis turns around his eyes are wide, looking scared and fuck no, that was not suppose to happen. "I'm sorry- I didn't mean to- I'm not- I'm no going to hurt you."
Louis looks at him and then down to his wrist. He slowly bring the hand that Harry had touched to his chest before his other hand goes to his wrist to rub at it all the while without making eye contact with Harry. When he does look at him Harry feels like shit because the look on Louis' face is so- delicate. Breakable. The look that Harry has only seen a few times.
"I'm sorry," Harry say again. "I didn't mean to hurt you-"
"You didn't." Louis interrupts. He closes his eyes and then takes a deep breath before letting both his hands fall to his sides. He opens his eyes and looks to him. "You didn't."
Harry nods. "I just- Why are you ignoring me? Because I thought things were great between us but then you just all of a sudden ignore me and I don't get it." He's aware that he sounds a bit desperate, clingy even, but he needs to know. He needs to know why Louis's been avoiding him.
Louis opens his mouth but closes it again when he hears the screams from inside the stadium. He looks to the bathroom door before focusing on Harry again. "We're not discussing it here. Meet me in the kitchen tonight." And then he bolts past Harry without looking back.
It's when Harry emerges from the bathroom 20 minutes later ( after cleaning his face, who knew taking make-up off was that difficult?) That he runs into Liam.
"C'mom!" Liam rushes him. "We're almost on! Where were you?"
"Bathroom." Is all he gets out before Liam suddenly stops.
"Really?" He asks with his head tilted to the side and one eyebrow raised. "I saw Louis emerging from
there 20 minutes ago. I also saw him following you in there. Care to explain?"
Harry swallows the lump forming in his throat before he speaks. "He was just helping me. Y'know, 'cause I was sick."
Liam suddenly smiles. "Oh yeah! Well you do in fact look better." Harry nods, not wanting to tell Liam he was not sick at all. Liam suddenly starts walking again and gestures for Harry to follow him. "Imagine if it were Niall who was the one who saw you instead of me. Would've come up with another crazy theory about you two being in love and having a make out session in the bathroom."
Harry snorts, because yes that does sound like Niall.
When they make their way over to the curtains, Harry's earpiece is handed to him. He can hear the crowd's cheers very loudly. They're all chanting and waiting for the boys to come on stage.
The intro music starts playing and the boys are given the signal. They run on stage and they're immediately met with loud screams.
" Madriiiiiddddddd! Helllloooo!" Harry screams into his mic after they finish the first song. The cheers that erupt him are loud and enthusiastic.
They continue with song after song and it's when Liam and Niall are arguing over something that Harry looks to behind the curtain. He doesn't expect to see Louis. He supposes that he went back to the bus or he's with Lou or somebody. But-
He's met with two blue eyes. Two sad blue eyes who are looking back at him and it's when they're staring at each other that Harry realizes he's smiling. Really smiling.
He looks away from Louis to look at Liam who called him. Niall and Liam are both looking at him expectantly.
"Huh?" He questions.
Niall, who stands with his guitar, shakes his head and looks at him before speaking into his earpiece, "I asked you if Madrid isn't the best?"
"Oh, yeah! Definitely!" He says way too loudly and then the cheers grow louder.
"Drifting off are we?" Liam asks into his mic in Harry's direction.
"Nah, just thinking about how beautiful Spain is." He says back into his mic.
When they continue with the songs, he looks back to the curtain but Louis isn't there this time.
He tries not to let his disappointment show throughout the rest of the show and focuses on singing- in his personal opinion, it's not one of his favorite shows.
And if the first thing he does is search for Louis, when the show is over. Well then nobody has to know.
Harry closes his eyes and breathes in through his nose.
He doesn't know what to expect. What's going to happen? Is Louis going to tell him their friendship is over? Does Louis even view them as friends? Why is his heart beating this fast? Why does he feel so sweaty? Why, why, why?
He opens his eyes only to be met with the darkness and the silence that the bus has to offer him.
It's 2 A.M.
Slowly and carefully he sits up ( he doesn't want another bump, because it's just so embarrassing to tell people that he got that nasty thing from a bunk bed) and as quiet as possible he pulls open his curtain.
He's hit with déjà vu.
He stands and makes his way over to the kitchen, but when he passes Niall's bunk he can't help but turn around and peek inside to check if the blonde really is asleep. He is. Harry let's out a sigh of relief when he sees this, because he wants the conversation that's about to take place to be between him and Louis only.
The kitchen light is off when he enters it.
"Hey." Comes a soft voice. Harry doesn't need light to know that voice belongs to Louis.
"Hi," He greets back into the darkness. He can make out the outlines of Louis' figure from where he's sitting. "Can I turn on the light?"
Harry makes his way over to the lights-switch and turns it on. At first, it's only a dim light that lights up kitchen but as he makes his way to the counter it get brighter. Louis sits on a stool that's a bit too high for him which makes his legs just lay limply in air. He kinda looks adorable.
They don't make eye contact as Harry takes the seat that's next to Louis'. On the table, placed in front of Louis is two cups of tea. A black one- the way Louis likes it- and a one with milk- the way Harry likes it- Louis reaches out for the black one and takes it into his small hands.
"It's yours," Louis says referring to the other cup that still stands alone. "But it's still hot, so don't take it just yet. You might burn yourself."
"I'm not a baby. I can take care of myself." Trying to prove a point, Harry reaches out to grab the cup but seeing as he's always had sensitive skin he ends up burning himself.
"Sometimes you need somebody else to take care of you." Louis voices when Harry flinches back.
Harry looks to him then. He looks tired and so, so delicate.
"I guess you do."
Louis suddenly stands up from his stool and takes his cup by the handle in his left hand and Harry's cup in his right hand before he walks towards the lounge area. Harry stands up quickly to follow him.
Louis places both cups on the table and with what one only can describe as grace he goes to sit on he couch, pulling up his legs underneath him. Harry goes to sit on the same couch, by the armrest and looks over to Louis, who's now looking at the painting on the wall that's left to the couch.
They don't talk for at least 5 minutes. Louis staring at the painting and Harry staring at Louis.
In that moment, Harry finally understands what people mean when they say "so close but so far away".
It's silent for a few more minutes before Louis finally speaks in a voice that sounds unfamiliar. "I sometimes compare humans to art."
Harry raises an eyebrow. "Why?"
"It feels right. You can tell a lot about someone by the art they do, you know?" Louis says while still looking at the painting. It's not even a beautiful painting, Harry thinks. It's simple- just two flowers, that stand side by side in a field full of nothingness. It's dull.
"Not everybody paints, y'know?" Harry says while reaching over to take his tea. It's lukewarm now.
"Art's not only paintings," Louis' voice sounds so small as he speaks. "It's pictures, or writing, or singing, or maybe even fashion designing. It's anything you want it to be."
He then looks to Harry and Harry's not quite sure he's seen such sad eyes on such a beautiful human.
If being broken were to be an art, Louis would be the most beautiful piece of them all.
"Right, well. What piece of art do you compare me to then?" Harry asks when he puts down his cup on the table again. He feels Louis' eyes follow his every movement.
"You, Harry Styles, you're a picture." There's a small smirk playing on Louis' lips as the words escape him.
Harry frowns. "Why a picture?"
"Because," He reaches out for his cup, and when he finally has it in both of his hands he makes eye contact with Harry and then he says, "Everybody can see the beauty that the picture provides but nobody will ever know the story behind the picture."
"Yeah," Louis says as he looks at Harry. "What do you think I am, then?"
Harry thinks it over for a moment before finally has an answer, "You're something empty. Like, a tragically beautiful song that nobody understands."
Now it's Louis' turn to frown. "Why is that?"
"Because sometimes it's the empty things in life that possesses the most beauty." Harry says without hesitation.
"So I'm like the painting on the wall?" Louis' eyes drift back to the wall and so does Harry's. Now that Harry looks at it like this, it's strikingly beautiful. The way the flowers stands out in the nothingness of the dull field.
Harry thinks the painter's message is that you can find beauty anywhere. Even in the empty parts of life.
"Yeah." Harry replies a moment too late. Louis doesn't even look affected.
When it's silent again Harry asks the question that's been nagging at his bones for quite some time. "So why did you ignore me?"
A sigh escapes Louis lips. The light from the kitchen catching the way he closes his eyes before he speaks. "I don't trust people."
Harry knows this. " I know."
Louis shakes his head. "No, you do don't. You know that I didn't - don't - trust you. Not that I feel the exact same way with other people, too."
Harry swallows the sudden lump that forms in his throat. "Do you trust Liam?"
"In some ways I do. In other ways I don't." Louis shrugs before he takes a deep breath to continue, he kind of looks very uncomfortable as he speaks. "Something happened to me. Something that hurt me and made me didn't trust people."
"You don't have to tell me-" Harry begins.
" I'm not going to. But you need to know why I've been ignoring you," Louis interrupts him. He looks Harry in the eyes as he pulls his knees to his chest. Delicate is a great word to describe him. "So I don't trust people because I got hurt. And like, the other night when I went to your room," he stops to search for the words he can't seem to form. "The other night when I went to your room it felt like I could to trust you. But, like, it's too soon. Way too soon. Because I don't know if you're going to hurt me or not or like if you're going to break my trust when I eventually give it you."
Harry stares at him. "I also told you that night that I was not going to hurt you."
"I know, but-"
"And I also remember myself saying that I was going to wait for you to open up to me. And I meant what I said, Louis." Harry whispers quietly. He feels like it's way too loud to speak to Louis like this- when he's vulnerable.
"I just-" Louis throws his head back. After staring up at the ceiling for a moment too long he speaks. "Why is life so difficult?"
"Well, nobody ever said it was going to be easy." Harry shrugs.
The silence that's growing between them is turning awkward, so Harry decides to speak. "You know, when I was little I had like this treehouse. And it was old and kind of smelled funny, but I loved it nonetheless because that's where I escaped to whenever I wanted to be alone. Which was pretty much all the time."
Louis turns his head to look at Harry's face. He's frowning. "Didn't you get tired of being lonely?"
"I never said I was lonely. I was alone, yes. But never lonely."
"Do you miss that?" Louis asks in a small voice. "You know. Being alone?"
"I miss not being used for peoples own advantages." He says in a bitter tone. He's sure his he looks stupid right now with his too long hair a mess on top his head as his eyes narrowed at the table.
Louis let's out a laugh. "Isn't it funny how we're both afraid of people in our own fucked up way?"
"I'm not afraid-"
"You are." Louis says while looking at Harry. His eye are wide and blue and so beautiful. "You're afraid to trust people because you think they might only be there for your fame or money. Which, I guess most people are."
"Don't think you're the only one who's been observing things Harry, because I'm not blind." After a few beats of staring at each other Louis speaks again, this time so much softer than the first time. "You need to realize that not everybody is there to backstab you."
"And you need to realize that not everybody's going to hurt you." Harry says when Louis pulls his knees to his chest again, burrowing his face in his lap. He glances to the boy. "Can I try something?"
The small brunette lifts his head and nods. Harry moves closer to him and then slowly he pulls him into his arms. Louis immediately tenses and even starts shaking.
"Relax," Harry whispers. "I'm not going to hurt you. I'm not."
Louis nods and lays his head on Harry's shoulder. He's still tense and won't stop shaking. "And I'm not going to hurt you."
That's how Harry spends the rest of the night- with a shaking Louis in his arms.
When Louis eventually falls asleep at 6 A.M. Harry lifts him into his arms and carefully lays him down on the bed.
When he makes his way over to his bed he can't help but smile as he realizes that they've taken two step forward.
Now he just hopes they don't take five steps back.
Idk, it just feels like this chapter is so boring.
Anyway, guess who's birthday is wednesday:D ( so maybe an update??)
But the next chapter will deffos be up by the time Niall's birthday rolls by!
I really won't say no if you want to leave a comment/kudos ;)
Okay, that sounds stupid.
Until next time my lovelies x
Chapter 6: s i x
I'm sorry if the twitter part is a bit confusing, I'll edit it on Monday! :)
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Two weeks pass in a hazy blur full of concerts, rehearsals, little sleep, Niall obsessing over Larry, Liam calling Zayn, and a lot of screaming fans.
Oh, and Louis.
Since that night where Louis had let Harry hold him, things between them had gotten way more...intense, in a way.
Every night now, when they're not staying in a hotel, Louis would wait up for Harry with a cup of tea, not letting him drink it until it's at least lukewarm, insisting that he'll burn himself.
And every night Harry would cuddle him on the couch until the boy would fall asleep. He still tenses and shakes when Harry holds him, but the shaking has calmed down a bit.
And when they are indeed staying at a hotel, Louis would sneak out of the room he's sharing with whoever and knock on Harry's door. Harry always gives him the bed, taking the couch for himself.
Often Harry would catch himself looking at Louis when he's not rushing around. Most of the time Louis is already looking at him.
Apparently, they're not very discreet about it because Niall always has something to say about them. Making up another theory left and right. It's more endearing than anything else.
But Niall's not the only one who starts noticing things. The fans start questioning, 'who's the boy behind the curtain' when blurry picture of Louis starts leaking.
But overall, things are going good.
At least, Harry thinks so.
"Things are not going good!" Niall says entering the kitchen. They're currently on their way to Germany and the blonde is mad. Very much so. He walks over to where Louis is sat sipping away at a cup of tea while talking to Liam and Harry. Niall goes to stand in front of him, but when Louis doesn't look at him, he slams his fist down on the kitchen counter. "What are you playing at, Tomlinson?"
Louis, who had not expected the loud blow and had spilled tea on himself, looks up from where he's wiping his shirt clean. "Huh?"
"What. Are. You. Playing. At?" Niall grits out. He takes up step closer to Louis, invading his personal space.
"I'm not-" Louis looks to Liam then to Harry, who had gotten himself a banana and now he's pealing it off. Louis looks back to Niall, who's arms are now crossed in front of his chest and lips pursed, waiting for an answer. "I don't know what you're talking about Nialler."
"Oh, really?" Niall asks with fire burning in his eyes. Louis quickly shakes his head, hands up in surrender. "I'm talking about you looking at that idiot-" Niall points to Harry, the banana halfway to his already open mouth. When Harry sees that everybody is staring at him, his eyes go wide and he does an awkward wave with his fingers. Niall rolls his eyes and turns back to Louis. "-When Josh asked you if you wanted to go out while in Germany!"
Louis looks to Liam, who just shrugs, and then to Harry, who's staring at them. He mouths 'help me' to Harry, before looking at Niall. "Uhm, we're friends. So, like-"
Niall groans. "Friends, my ass!" He backs away from where he's standing, only to bring his hands up to his temples and rub them, with closed eyes. "Honestly, why can't you just accept that you're so in love. My Larents are so embarrassing, I can't even."
Liam, Louis and Harry share a look before Harry clears his throat and looks to Niall. "Larents?"
Niall just sighs and looks to them, as if he had expected that to be asked. "Larry as me parents. Y'know, Larents."
Liam looks confused. "But Niall, Harry is younger than you..."
"Can you just back off, Payne?" The blonde looks angry again. Louis and Harry look at each other and when Niall sees this, he goes frigid. "See! You're doing it again! You can't even go a few minutes without looking at each other! Do you want me Larry heart to explode of feels?"
Harry shakes his head. "You're weird Niall."
The blonde glares at him. "Whatever. Don't come knocking on me door when you want marriage advice 5 years from now." He then gets up and walks to his bunk, only to stop and glare at them over his shoulder. His gaze shift to Liam. "And you, I'm watching you."
"That was....weird," Liam says while standing up. He looks between Harry and Louis, then back to where Niall had made an exit and then towards Harry and Louis again. "Weird, indeed."
When Liam walks out, Harry and Louis are left alone in the kitchen. Harry clears his throat. "So you wanna go out when we're in Amsterdam?"
Louis shrugs. "I mean, it'd be nice to get out."
"We can...I dunno, go out. To like, a restaurant," Harry quickly says. "Only if you wanna."
Louis raises an eyebrow. "Just us two? For dinner?"
"As friends, of course."
"Yep," Harry says popping the 'p'. "Nothing wrong with friends going out for a friendly dinner."
"Okay," Louis tries to hide his blush by bringing his cup up to his face and taking a sip of tea. "Friendly dinner, I can do that."
"Tonight after rehearsals okay?" Harry asks while looking at the blue eyed beauty.
" 'S fine," Louis says. He walks over to the sink and fills his empty cup with water before walking past Harry. "See you tonight, popstar."
"See you tonight, Lou." Harry's dimple pops out when he smiles while looking at Louis.
"This is nice," Louis says later that night when he and Harry are sat in a fancy restaurant. "Bit fancy though, innit?"
Harry looks at him with a blank look on his face. "You don't like it?"
"Oh no, don't get me wrong!" Louis quickly splutters out while frantically shaking his head. "It's nice. 'S just weird because I've never been to such a nice place."
"Oh, well then I'm happy to be the first one to take you to one of these." Harry opens in menu, studying the good options. When he looks up at Louis, he finds that Louis is already looking at him.
"You're...something else, Harry Styles." Louis shakes his head and looks up at Harry through his lashes.
It's two hours later when they've finished dinner that Harry asks Louis if he wants to go. "Sure, why not. Popstar needs his rest for tomorrow's show."
"Something like that." Harry says while trying to get their waiter's attention. When she sees that he has his hand up she immediately comes over. "Just the cheque, please."
"Mind if I go to the bathroom quickly?" Louis asks when they're waiting on the cheque.
"No, go ahead."
After Louis is gone and Harry has received the bill, Alfredo, who has come indeed something bad was going to happen, comes over. "Harry, somebody tipped off the paps. There is a mob outside." He says in rushed tone. Harry immediately feels like his blood runs cold through his veins.
"Right," He says the exact moment Louis comes from the bathroom and takes his seat in front of him. "Right, well that's a problem."
When Louis hears this he looks at him with a confused expression. "What's wrong?"
"Alfredo, I want you to keep Louis safe, okay?" Harry tells Alfredo while ignoring Louis, who looks at them with bewildered eyes. He quickly stands up and motions for Louis to follow him. "Lou, there's a mob outside-" When Louis hears this, his face goes pale and his hands start shaking. Harry quickly rushes over to him and takes his hands into his own, "But I'm gonna be there okay? And Alfredo is going to keep you safe. Just- Just hold my hand, until we reach the car. You'll be fine."
Louis looks to him with wet eyes and shaky hands but nods nonetheless. When Harry has put on his coat, he leaves the money on the table and walks to the entrance with his hand and Louis' hand holding onto each other. Upon reaching the entrance and seeing the flashes going off and hearing the screaming of the fans, Harry turns around to look at Louis. "Lou, look down and don't make eye contact. I'm gonna walk in front of you and Al is gonna keep them from touching you. Hold onto my hand tight okay?"
Louis nods and squeezes Harry's hand. When Harry pushes through the doors, there are dozens of camera's going off at once. Harry feels how stiff Louis' muscles get and then he starts pushing through the crowd.
"Harry! Harry! Who's your date?"
"Harry! Look over here!"
"Harry! Why won't you stop for a photo?!"
"We love you, Harry!"
There are about a million more questions thrown at them as Harry pushes past the people. He feels bad for not stopping for a photo, but his main priority now is Louis, who still has his head down and refuse to look up. Hands are reaching out and trying to touch and camera flashes are going off and there are a million voice all at once and Louis can't breathe.
When they finally reach the car, Harry pushes Louis in first and then quickly climbs in. When Alfredo walks around the car and climbs into the driver seat they take off, leaving the flashing camera's and screaming fans behind. Harry leans back into his seat, closes his eyes and lets a sigh of relief out. It's not for about another minute that Harry hears a heavy breathing. Immediately he looks to Louis, who's face is turned towards the window and body slightly shaking.
"Lou, are you okay?" Harry worries, scooting closer Louis. He notices how their hands are still pressed together.
Louis shakes his head. "Harry...I feel, I feel like I can't breathe." He looks to Harry then, face wet with tears and chest struggling to catch air. "Harry, I-" deep breath, "Can't" release, "Breathe."
Harry pulls Louis into his arms, tucking his head under his chin. He starts petting Louis' hair. "It's okay Lou, I've got you." He starts rubbing down his back. "I've got you, yeah?"
Louis is still struggling to breathe and he's still shaking. Harry wishes he could do more. He doesn't know if this is the first panic attack that Louis's ever gotten, so he does with him what Zayn had done with him when they first started out and Harry had panic attacks. "Lou, I want you to breathe with me, okay?"
Louis nods and then takes a breath when Harry does. They do this for about two minutes before Louis feels calm again, shaking a bit less and breathing under control. He buries his head further into Harry's chest and put his arms around Harry's waist. Fingers digging into his back.
They sit in silence for a few more minutes, continuing to drive to the hotel. When Harry wants to pull back, Louis tightens his arms around him. "Don't let me go," He looks up into Harry's eyes, red and wide and wet. "Please."
Harry has never heard somebody sound so broken while looking so beautiful. He nods and tightens his hold on Louis.
HARRY STYLES SPOTTED ON A DATE.
Well, would you look at that? Our lovely Hazza has been spotted on a date, with a boy!
Only about two weeks earlier, Harry was seen going out with upcoming model, Sasha Graziani, but since coming out, Harry has always been seen going out with girls and some of his fans even believe that him being bisexual was only for promotion. But he's clearly proving them wrong because the One Direction lothario has been papped leaving one of Berlin's best restaurants with a male, hand in hand!
If you remember back to, let's say roughly two weeks ago, Harry was also spotted leaving a night club with a boy with a striking resemblance to the one he was on a date with, but because the pictures were blurry we can't estimate if it's the same person! Isn't that sad?
The 'Steal My Girl' singer, who've we've known to be quite the lady's man, hasn't been in a relationship since dating 'Keeping Up With The Kardashians' and also model, Kendall Jenner! Only one time dates, since then with models and actresses.
So, being spotted with the same twice in less three weeks is quite something! ( If it's the same person).
A close source to Harry reveals. "Harry doesn't have time for a relationship right now. He's very busy with touring and doing the new album. But I do think that after he's finished the tour he'll be looking for someone."
So what do you think? Is this one of Harry's 'soon-to-be-one-hit-date' or is this possibly the start of something new?
We here at GossipMix would love to know what your opinion on the whole fiasco is by leaving a comment in our comment box.
Video of Harry and 'mysterious date' leaving the restaurant is at the top!
@NiallOfficial 9:37 pm
I ship Larry! @Harry_Styles @Louis_Tomlinson
Replies to @NiallOfficial :
@Ilove1D7393: Follow me Niall!
@Nialls_Candle: What's Larry? Do you mean Narry?
@Hazzabear_444: Is that the guy Harry went out with?
Michael and Luke
This is obviously management again
@lxve_styles 10:03 pm
Well, at least all the Narries are dead now
@Updating1D_ 10:04 pm Some of you need to remember that we're here for their music and not personal lives!
@My_HaZza 10:06 pm Harry's not even gay so that fucking twink is probably just another stunt by Modest!
@zquadmytxam 10:10 pm Idk they kinda look cute together??
@AshandHaz 10:11 pm What's a 'Larry'?
@Info_on_1D 10:13 pm Isn't that the same guy that's been seen behind the curtains tho?Kinda look the same to me.
@Liams_Firefighter 10:15 pm It's the same guy who from 2 weeks ago and it's the same guy that's behind the curtains.
@Cal_pxppy_eyes 10:18 pm. Wait, is his name Louis? Because his dp looks like the same guy Harry went out with.
@ljp_njh_hes 10:20 pm Nah man, I think it's management. They need Harry's name in the paper and they know this will cause drama.
"Niall, how could you have been so reckless as to post that tweet!?" Comes in through Harry's loud speaker later that night when Louis and Harry had arrived at the hotel.
They're currently all sitting in Harry's room. Louis laying on the bed with his face buried in the pillow and breathing out tiny little breaths. He fell asleep only five minutes after being put in bed by Harry.
Niall is sitting on Harry's couch, pursing his lips and glaring at the window. "I did what I had to do."
Mr. Johnson breathes in. "No, you did what you wanted to! I hope you know that as soon as we end this call, that tweet is going to be erased from the internet."
Niall snorts. "I'm just going to tweet it again."
A frustrated sigh is heard from the other end of the line. "No, you will not. You are forbidden from now on to speak about whatever you see going on between Mr. Styles and Mr. Tomlinson."
Harry's blood boils. "You can't do that! Louis did nothing wrong and neither did Niall! That's wrong!"
"Mr. Styles, we're only trying to maintain your reputation-"
"If you wanted to maintain my reputation, you wouldn't let every magazine out there call me a slut!" Harry yells, face red with anger. He balls his hands into fist and clenches his teeth and looks to Louis. He needs to remember that the boy is asleep.
"Mr. Styles, we don't have power over the magazines and what they post. You know that." Mr. Johnson says after a minute. He sounds smug, in a way, and Harry despises that.
Liam speaks up for the first time since they've received the call. "But when I talked to you about Louis joining us on tour you said that you'll try your best not let him get him in the news."
"I said I'll try, I didn't confirm nor deny that it'll be a definite thing." Mr. Johnson pauses. "Now, I wanted to talk to all three of you at the same time."
Niall, Harry and Liam look at each other before Mr. Johnson continues. "Mr. Horan you are forbidden to speak about 'Larry' from now on. Mr. Payne you are to keep Mr. Tomlinson in check or else he'll be asked nicely to leave the tour and Mr. Styles, you can't be seen alone with Mr. Tomlinson again. Do I make myself clear?"
"But Louis did nothing wrong!" Liam splutters out, disbelief lacing his tone.
"Do I make myself clear?" Mr. Johnson asks in a firm voice. It sounds more like a demand than a question.
Instead of answering the question, Niall purses his lips further and looks out the window. He looks bitter and frustrated.
"Yeah, you make yourself clear." Liam mumbles quietly. Harry just gives a bitter 'yes' as before Mr. Johnson can answer them Harry hangs up.
It's silent in the room, the only sound is Louis' small little breaths.
After a moment of staring at Louis too long, Harry clears his throat. "It was just a fucking friendly dinner between friends."
"And it was just me fucking tweeting me own feelings." Niall says in a angry voice. He finally looks to Liam and then to Harry. "Fucking shower of cunts."
Harry walks over to the bed and sits at Louis' feet. He slowly moves up a bit and then he starts to pet Louis' hair. "He had a panic attack in the car," Harry says. "And I had to tell him to breathe with me. Like Zayn used to do to me when we first started getting big."
Liam and Niall share a look before Liam looks to Harry. "He doesn't deserve any of this shit that's being said about him. He literally did nothing wrong."
"I know." Harry mumbles.
After Niall and Liam leaves, Harry quickly changes into his pajamas and tucks the blanket around Louis. When he makes his way over to his couch he hears a soft voice.
Immediately he moves back to Louis, kneeling at his side.
"Everything okay Lou?"
Louis blinks slowly and then turns around to face him. "Can you-" he searches for the words, "Can you hold me again?" He asks softly.
Harry stares at him in shock. It's the first Louis has asked him to hold him. He nods and then climbs into the bed, spooning Louis in his arms.
"I'm sorry," Louis breathes out when Harry's face is buried in his neck. "It's just...I want to be in your arms because it's the only place where I feel safe. "
Harry only holds into Louis tighter, falling asleep with his arms filled with Louis, who has a half smile on his face and who's shaking a lot less. "It's okay," Harry mumbles when he's seconds away from drowning in darkness. "I've got you."
I kinda liked this chapter at the end?
In light of recent events that shall not be named i completely changed this chapter, so what do you think?
I appreciate it if you a leave comment/kudos
Chapter 7: s e v e n
Hello all my lovelies!
Your feedback on the last chapter was so amazing thank you so much!
I really appreciate all of it very much :)
RedPhoneBooth, thank you for your suggestion. I'll definitely take it into consideration.
I'm not gonna lie, this is probably my favorite chapter so far.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
"Go away, Harry," Louis mumbles into his pillow and turns his head to face the other way.
It's silent for a few minutes before Harry gets out of the bed and makes his way over to the light to turn it on. He moves across the room towards his bag and upon reaching it, he bends down and searches for the bundle of keys. When he finds it under his one too many pairs of jeans, a smirk settles on his face.
He makes his way over to Louis again, kneeling at the side of the bed Louis is sleeping on and lightly shakes him into consciousness. "Lou, wake up," He whispers, not too loudly and not too quietly. "C'mon, I have something special planned for us."
Louis groans and pulls the duvet over his head. It would've been extremely cute if Harry didn't want Louis to get out of bed. Like now. "Lou, just lift your lazy bum and come with me." He says, shaking what he guesses is Louis' arm.
Louis pulls the duvet down from his face and sits up. As soon as eyes adjust to the light, he glares at Harry. "Harry, why the fuck are you waking me at-" he glances to the clock that's beside the bed, "half past two in the morning?"
Harry dangles the keys next to his face. "C'mon, you and I are going on an adventure."
Louis presses his lips into a firm line as he watches the keys rattle against each other. "No."
"Why not?" Harry pouts while setting the keys on the table where the clock is on.
Louis sighs and runs a hand through his hair. Even when he's just woken up and there's a slight frown on his face, he still looks utterly gorgeous. "Because," He begins, "we're in a strange city and somebody can recognize you and you'll get mobbed and Johnson will ask me to leave the tour if he finds out-" Harry opens his mouth to argue with him when Louis cuts him off again, "and most importantly, I'm tired."
"Okay, firstly it's Stockholm and I've been here a few times so it's not really a strange city." Harry says and then pulls the cover further down from Louis. "Nobody will recognize me because I've already planned where we're gonna go so there will be no mobbing and no Johnson finding out anything." He stands up then and walks to the chair, picking up his jacket. "And you've always been up this late, so I'm pretty sure you can get out of bed."
Louis huffs and crosses his arms over his chest. "I've been sleeping pretty well lately, thank you very much."
Harry looks away from Louis as he blushes, knowing pretty well that the only reason that they've both been sleeping well is because for the past week they've been sharing a bed. "Please, Lou?" He asks again, avoiding the subject of sleeping in each other's arms.
"Harry," Louis says in a small voice and looks down, avoiding eye contact with Harry. "What if Johnson finds out?"
Harry can't help but coo at how adorable Louis actually looks. Ever since Louis found out what Mr. Johnson said about him leaving tour he's been shying away from mostly everybody except Harry and the boys. He's standing further behind the curtain when they're playing a show so he won't get noticed and even his pranks has stopped. Well, mostly stopped- he still gets Liam at the most unexpected times.
Harry walks to the bed again, sitting on the edge beside Louis' knees. He carefully and as softly as possible takes Louis' face into his hands, caressing his cheeks with his thumbs. "Lou, Johnson isn't gonna find out because it's gonna be a secret for just you and I."
Louis looks up at him through his lashes and slightly pushes into the touch a bit. He takes a deep breath. "Okay," His voice comes out a bit shaky. "Okay. But only if you buy me McDonald's tomorrow."
Harry grins and pulls his hand away from Louis' face, holding up his pinky for Louis to take in his own. "Pinky promise."
Louis looks to him with a small smile and locks their pinky's together. It stays like that for a moment- Louis watching their two fingers that's locked together and Harry watching Louis. When Harry eventually retrieves his hand he stands up from the bed and grabs the keys on the table. "C'mon. We're not getting any younger."
Groaning, Louis falls back onto the bed. He stares at the ceiling for five seconds and with a final sigh he throws his legs off the side of the bed to stand up. He walks over to his bag ( it didn't really surprise Liam when he said that he's going to room with Harry that night) and pulls out a beanie and a thin blanket. He puts the beanie over his head and puts the blanket over his shoulders, clutching it to his chest.
"Louis, you're wearing a jumper, long pajama bottoms, a beanie and then you want a blanket too?" Harry says while examining Louis' attire. "Shouldn't you put shoes or at least socks on? If you're that cold."
"If it's so secretive where we're going then I have the right to dress the way I want to," Louis shrugs and walks towards Harry. "And I want to go bare feet. Unlike you who has to wear skinny jeans for this adventure we're going on in the early morning hours."
Harry bites back the fond smile on his face threatening to burst out as he looks to Louis while shaking his head. He opens the door, letting Louis past first and shuts the light off and pulls the door closed when he exits.
The hotels halls are silent as they make their way towards the elevator. "Where are we going anyway?" Louis asks when they're stood waiting for the lift. He pulls the blanket closer to his chest as a shiver runs down his spine.
"You'll see." Harry smirks. He steps into the elevator once it gets there as pushes the 'lobby' button. The ride to the lobby is in silence as they both just watch when then elevator's light goes on whenever they're a floor closer to the ground.
As they make they're way across they lobby a thought suddenly strikes Louis. "How are we going to get there anyway?"
Harry tenses a bit and looks away. "I might've, y'know, burrowed...one of the hired cars."
Louis raises his eyebrows. "Does Alfredo know?"
"Not really," Harry mumbles without looking at Louis.
"So what I'm hearing is that you basically stole a car?"
"I wouldn't call it stealing, just. Burrowing without permission." Harry says when they finally step outside. A cool breeze hits them as they make their way across the parking lot.
Louis shakes his head. "If we get caught, Harry, I swear I will never forgive you."
"We're not gonna get caught." Harry says as they arrive at the SUV. He unlocks it and climbs into the driver seat, starting the car up and waits for Louis to get it. Louis stands outside the car, blanket covering his upper body and looking like he's having an internal battle with himself. Finally, he reaches out and pulls the door open.
When he's seated he looks to Harry. "I hate you so much, Styles."
"Okay," Harry shrugs while starting to drive. Louis doesn't miss the smile Harry's wearing.
Louis lays his head against the window and watches as they speed past the buildings. Lights illuminating the streets in color. It's exciting riding through the city like they don't have a care in the world. Riding through an unknown place with unknown people, each with their own problems and somehow...in a way, it feels comforting. Louis absorbs the feeling.
Suddenly, the SUV comes to a halt. Harry clears his throat. "We're here."
Louis' eyes widen when he thinks he knows what Harry's plan is."Harry...please don't-" He looks to the stadium and then to Harry, "please don't tell me your so called adventure is sneaking into the stadium."
Harry smiles a big dimplely smile. "My adventure isn't sneaking into the stadium." Louis almost breathes a sigh of relief. Harry reaches into his back pocket and retrieves a vaguely familiar set of keys. "We're not sneaking in because we actually do have a set of keys!"
"How did you," Louis' too shocked to properly think about anything at this moment. "How did you get that?"
Harry shrugs. "Burrowed it from Alfredo."
"And by burrow you mean?"
"I burrowed it without permission." Harry says almost nonchalantly. He kills the car's engine and puts the car keys in his back pocket. "Now, are you coming with me or not? Won't be much of an adventure if it's just me going in while you sit here and wait."
Louis still gaps at him. "When did you even get the keys?"
"About two hours ago when everybody was asleep," Harry opens his door and climbs out. Having no choice but to do the same, Louis also gets out.
"Harry, we're going to get caught." His voice sounds shaky and afraid. Almost like it sounded before Louis had let Harry touch him. "And I'm bare feet. You could've told me to wear shoes!"
"I did!" Harry laughs. He walks to the other side of the car where Louis is standing, shaking from the fear of being discovered or from the cold that's surrounding them. Harry just smiles at him before turning around and bending his knees a bit. "C'mon, I'll carry you inside so that your feet won't get cold. Or, colder than it already is."
Louis grumbles something Harry can't quite make out, something like 'I hate you' or 'I break shoes'( Harry settles for the latter, seeing it as way more pleasant than the first one and if he's honest, Louis does break shoes) but nevertheless jumps on his back. He brings his arms to Harry's chest, hands that are still holding onto the blanket now locking in front of Harry's chest and dainty feet hanging limp at Harry's sides.
Harry holds onto Louis' thighs and starts walking toward the backdoor of the stadium. It's not a struggle getting there because he knows the way, but the struggle is Louis- who keeps pushing the heels of feet into Harry's sides, almost like it's a 'stop please'.
Soon before long they arrive at the door and Harry unlocks it, stepping into the empty stadium that looks about a thousand times bigger than it actually is.
"Are you sure there isn't like, security here?" Louis asks. He holds onto Harry tighter when Harry starts walking again. "To like, make sure there aren't any fans hiding out here?"
"Well, if there is then we're kind of in trouble." Harry says taking the piss. He won't tell Louis that, though.
Louis just sighs and rests his head on Harry's shoulder, almost to say 'fuck it'. Harry starts walking down the steps to where the stage is then.
The stage is already set up for the show that they're going to be playing in a few hours and the chairs are scattered all over the place. The gates that separates the four standing areas look a bit off balance with the wind blowing.
After walking for, what Harry himself can say is too long of a walk, they arrive at the stage. Harry helps Louis climbs up first and then climbs into the stage himself.
"So this is our adventure? You bringing me to an empty stadium to make me feel small?" Louis asks as he holds his arms out and spins around in circle. It looks like he has a cape, the way the blanket is still tightly in his hands and spread out with his arms.
A cape or wings.
A hero or an angel.
Harry's pretty sure he's both, anyway.
"You're already small," He says as he watches the way Louis twirls. "Like a tiny 5 foot 7 hedgedog."
Louis stops twirly immediately to glare at him. "I'll have you know I'm 5 foot 9!"
Harry chuckles. "Okay."
"I am 5 foot 9!" Louis defends again. " It's not like you can say anything about my height anyway. You frog face giant." Louis glares at him from where he's standing less than 4 feet away and Harry has to admit it's probably one of the times that he's seen Louis look so...happy.
"A frog and a hedgedog," Harry begins, "what a combination."
"Harry, why are we here?" Louis sighs and looks to the ground. He pulls his arms into himself again, hugging his middle.
"Isn't it adventurous to sneak out of the hotel and sneak into the stadium?"
"Ah-ha! We did sneak in!" Louis points his finger at Harry, "should've never let you drag me with you."
"That's not the point," Harry rolls his eyes.
"Then what is?"
"The point is we're alone in an empty stadium. We can literally do anything we want without having to think twice. Think of all the possibilities."
"We're not alone," Louis shakes his head and looks up at the clear night sky with a Mona Lisa kind of smile on his face. "The moon and the stars are with us, too."
Harry finds it very hard to keep the smile off his face. "Do you think the moon is gonna tell on us?"
"I don't know," Louis looks to him with a smirk. "I don't think it'll be the moon. I think it'll be the stars. They always surprise me."
Harry looks up at the sky. The moon is only half full and although there's very little stars in the sky, they still shine as bright as ever.
In the distance a car's alarm goes off.
"Sing to me," Louis says suddenly while looking directly at Harry. His eyes are wide and beautiful and even under just the moonlight and stars, still so blue. "Please?"
Harry can't help but grin. "I sing to you almost every night."
Louis shakes his head. "No," he walks closer to Harry, feet almost touching and hearts almost aligned. "You sing to me as Harry Styles from One Direction. Sing to me as Just Harry," he looks up to him then, eyes almost pleading. "Because to me you're Just Harry. Not Harry Styles."
Harry thinks Louis doesn't know how much that actually means to him. For the past few years he's been waiting for that sentence. And he finally got under the stars and moon shining above him and he's not quite sure that if it were anybody else who said it, that it would have been so special but this is Louis. This is Louis who is constantly surprising him. This is Louis who doesn't liked being touched. This is Louis who looks happy when he's with Harry. This is Louis who gets surprised by the stars.
This is Harry's stars.
Harry nods weakly and takes a few steps back. "Anything I want to sing?"
"Anything your heart desires."
"Okay," Harry says, "yeah, I can definitely do that." He reaches for his phone and pulls it out.
There are so many options he can choose from and the possibilities seem endless. Louis watches as he scrolls through his music, deciding on what on what to sing. When his eyes land on a song that he knows he wants to sing, he looks up to Louis and smiles. "Louis Tomlinson, brace yourself. You're going to watch Just Harry's concert."
Louis smiles at him softly and wraps the blanket around himself tighter. "Stage's all yours."
Harry set his phone down on the ground beside him and presses play. The familiar tune of the song has Louis smiling and big smile, showing all his teeth.
Harry starts the same time as the song's first words plays out from his phone.
Once upon a time not so long ago
Tommy used to work on the docks
Union's been on strike
He's down on his luck...
It's tough, so tough
Harry starts dancing around as he continues to sing the lyrics out. Louis laughs at him when he grab his hand and force him to dance with him. Louis has his head thrown backwards with laughter and he joins in by the chorus plays
Whoa, we're half way there
Whoa, livin' on a prayer
Take my hand and we'll make it - I swear
Whoa, livin' on a prayer
They jump around the rest of the song, laughing more than they're actually singing and Harry thinks it might be one of his best performances yet.
By the time they're finished both of them are laughing and breathless and Harry bends over and puts his hands on his knees, panting. "That was so much fun."
"Better than a One Direction concert, I reckon." Louis says with a grin on his face.
Harry looks up to him and smiles. He takes a step forward to Louis and flings his arms around his neck. "Thank you," He whispers softly into Louis' hair. "For everything."
Louis hugs Harry tightly around his waist, burying his face into Harry's chest. "Thank you too, Haz."
They stay like that for a minute, just standing in each other's arms before Louis breaks away from Harry. He walks to the edge of the stage and jumps off. When his feet is flat on the floor he turns around and faces Harry. There's a devious little smile plying on his lips. "Catch me if you can!" And just like that he runs off.
Harry stands in shock for less than five seconds before he finds himself running after Louis. They chase after each other and it's when they're running between the seats that Harry finally catches Louis, lifting him into his arms and off the ground.
"Put me down you giant frog!" Louis laughs and squirms around in Harry's arms.
"No can do, hedgedog," Harry says as he slumps down in a seat, pulling Louis into his lap. They sit there, laughing for a few minutes until they're both out of breath.
When they've both calmed down a bit, they find themselves looking at the stars again. Somehow without the lights of the stadium burning, it's still the brightest Harry's seen a stadium shine.
"Hey, Louis?" Harry asks when Louis pulls his blanket over both of them. Harry's arms immediately wraps around his waist and pulls him closer to his chest.
"Do you miss your home?"
Louis' head turn to him, eyebrows raises and lips pressed into a thin line. He opens his mouth- then closes it again. It's silent for too long but when Louis speaks again, he looks Harry in the eyes. "You know what they say. Home is where the heart is."
Harry's heard the expression. Hell, he's even used the expression himself before. But he doesn't know what Louis is trying to say. He wants to ask what he means. Instead what comes out is, "What if your heart's broken?" he asks, "where's your home then?"
Louis almost looks pleased with Harry' question. Like he wanted that to be asked. He turns his head to look at the stars again. "Then your home is in the stars. With all the other's just like you."
Harry swallows. "Is your home in the stars?"
Louis doesn't look away from where he's eyes are glued to above. "I don't know," he says, "it was...but I'm not so sure anymore. Maybe, maybe not. Who knows."
"Are you happy?" Harry's words come out in a whisper, almost like they're afraid if they're too loud they might crush the moment.
"Right now?" Louis glances at him and Harry nods. There's a soft smile on Louis' face. "Right now I'm happy, yes."
"Me too." Harry's arms tighten where they hold Louis. He lays his head on Louis' shoulder as they sit in silence.
It's peaceful and somehow exactly what both of them needs.
"Hey, what's the seat number on this?" Louis suddenly asks.
Harry frowns and lifts himself a little off the seat to look at the number of the back. "G5," he says when he gets a closer look. "Why?"
"G5," Louis nods, almost like trying to remember it. He smiles when he looks at Harry. "Gotta remember every detail of an adventure, right?"
"Right," Harry confirms. "C'mon, it's time we get back." Harry lifts Louis off his lap and stands up. "I'll carry you back, Mr. Bare feet."
Louis looks up at him and then lifts a hand to his head, pressing the back of it against his forehead. His voice is an octave higher when he speaks. "Oh, Jack. Carry me like one of your French girls."
Harry snorts. "I'm pretty sure that's not how that went down."
"Whatever," Louis rolls his eyes and stretches his arms out. "Carry me like a princess."
Harry lifts Louis up in his arms bridal style. "Are you saying you're a princess?"
"I'm the king, you filthy peasant." Louis' arms wraps around Harry's neck.
"I have no doubt in my mind that, that isn't true."
"Harry, if you drop me-"
"I'm not going to drop you, Lou. Calm down," Harry says while opening their shared hotel room door. Louis is still in his arms and when he turns on the lights, his whole body goes numb.
He drops Louis.
"Ow,shit,fuck!" Louis cries out laying on the floor. "I'm going to fucking murder you in your sleep!"
"Not if I murder him first." Alfredo says from where he's sitting on the couch, looking like a parent that just caught a teenager sneaking in.
Which is kind of true.
Louis quickly stands up. "It was my fault."
Harry's mouth falls open in shock. Surprised at how easy Louis will take the blame for him. "It was my fault Al, don't listen to him. He's sleepy."
Alfredo raises his right eyebrow and looks over them. He stands up then and walks towards them, almost too slow. When he reaches them he holds out his hand.
Harry quickly pulls out the stadium keys and gives them to him.
Alfredo inspect them like they're some kind of bug before he clears his throat and holds out his other hand too.
Harry pulls out the SUV keys.
"Right," Alfredo says while looking over both of them. Louis' gaze is on the floor and Harry's biting back a smile. "Well, that answers all of my questions."
He walks past them and when he's at the door he turns towards them again. "We'll talk about this in the morning, Harry."
When Alfredo is out of earshot and Harry quickly closes the door both of them burst out laughing.
"We'll talk about this in the morning, Harry," Louis mimics in Alfredo's deep voice.
"That was too funny," Harry laughs. Without really looking what's going on he suddenly hits the floor. When he opens his eyes Louis is standing above him.
"That's for dropping me," He says and walks to the bed. He turns around to face him again. "Best adventure I've ever been on."
Harry smiles. "Me too."
I wouldn't mind getting caught if you are by my side every time, Harry thinks later when he has Louis' arm wrapped around his waist and his forehead pressed between his shoulder blades, I wouldn't mind that at all.
Is it just me or was that slightly poetic?
Out of pure curiosity, if this fic is finished and I start a new one, would you guys read it? :)
Next chapter might be up by Wednesday, if not then Thursday.
Until you beauty's! xx
Chapter 8: e i g h t
Bit shorter than usual but worth it :)
Enjoy my loves x
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
For reasons unknown to Harry, everybody (excluding himself) wakes up in a bad mood the next morning. Even little Lux (at breakfast when Harry wanted to hold her she kicked his calf and screamed for Lou, only to cry when being picked up).
Louis, too, is in a bad mood. After waking up alone in bed Harry had figured he shouldn't worry. That was until actually talking to Louis.
"Don't fucking touch me," Louis had angrily stated when Harry went in for a morning hug. It wasn't said in his usual tone of 'I don't like being touched,please don't' but instead of one that screamed 'Touch me and I will fucking cut you with my own cheekbone that's how irritated I am'.
Harry had hesitantly pulled his arms away. "Everything alright?" He asked, carefully.
Louis' gaze deepened. "Fucking hell, Harry. Just because I don't want you to touch me doesn't mean something's wrong," Annoyance was clear in his voice. He shook his head to himself and mumbled, "can't be fucking serious."
Harry had stared at him with big eyes before clearing his head and nodding. This was new. "I guess...I guess I'll just go to breakfast then."
A glare was received. "Well, I guess you should." Harry didn't move from where he was frozen. Louis looked to him, irritated. "Are you gonna go now or should I?"
With quick movement he made his way out of the room, hair messed up from not getting to comb it and awful morning breath. Which didn't go down with the other people at breakfast too well. They basically sent him to eat at his own table.
So now Harry's sat, alone, in the dressing room of the stadium, watching at how all of the other's are biting each other's heads off. He doesn't even try to talk with someone, for the fear of being yelled at. Even Sandy, super nice Sandy, had yelled at Josh because apparently he keeps "playing the drums wrong"
Today's not been good.
Harry sighs and run his hand through his hair. It's getting quite long now- Maybe he should cut it. Maybe not. He actually quite likes the length of it.
With an "oof" Niall slumps down on the couch beside him. "H, everybody's in a bad mood today."
Doesn't he know. "Tell me something I don't know," He looks around the room and then back to the blonde. He looks quite happy. "You don't seem to be in a too bad of a mood."
A wide grin spreads across Niall's face. He side eyes Harry and shrugs. "Is there a reason I should be?"
No. "Just thought that because everybody else was that it might effect you too."
"Nope," The blonde says and pops the 'p'. "In fact, I'm really happy."
A frown settles on Harry's face. It probably looks weird- he frowns when his friend tells him that he's happy. "Is there a reason for the sudden happiness?"
"The sun is shining, the birds are singing," Niall says, Irish accent making him sound very funny. "Just can't find a reason to be angry at the world."
"Tell that to Louis," Harry mumbles under his breath and looks down. He thinks he might be glaring at his lap. Maybe if he glares hard enough people's mood will lighten.
"Well, I would have but then I'd probably have my legs broken."
A laugh escapes Harry's lips. "Tried talking to him then?" He requires because he needs to know if Louis' mood is not only directed at him.
"Mate, I didn't even try," Niall breathes and puts a hand on his shoulder. He squeezes the bone for only a brief second before loosening his grip. "I wanted to approach him but then I saw him talking to Liam, and let me tell you. Liam looked like he wanted the earth to swallow him up."
Not good for Liam but good for Harry.
"Oh," He probably shouldn't sound as happy as he does. But- Louis isn't angry at him. So. He reckons he can sound as happy as he wants to.
"Yes." Niall starts playing with the curls that lays loosely on his shoulders. Niall's always been infatuated with his curls. "Meet and Greet tonight," he twirls a curl around his finger before looking at Harry, "you excited?"
Harry shrugs. Spending time with fans will definitely be better than having to deal with everybody's bad mood.
Spending time with fans definitely doesn't beat everybody's bad mood. In fact, it actually increases the moods of some people.
Some people actually being Louis and surprisingly Niall( who's whole mood has been ruined by Harry, apparently)
After the concert( Louis wasn't even behind the curtain, granted he had ignored Harry the entire day) had ended the meet and greet had almost immediately started. The fans had requested pictures and cute little poses as usual.
Until one fan kindly asked Harry to kiss her on the cheek. Of course he didn't want to sound impolite and decline so he simply put a smile on his face and nodded. He had been leaning in and just as he was about to kiss the sharp edges of her cheekbone she turned her face and his lips were met with hers just as the 'click' of the camera went off.
And it wasn't like the world actually stopped because he was tricked into kissing a fan.
No, the world stopped because Louis stood there behind the camera. Right there. Just five meters away from Harry. He did not look happy.
Screaming fans? Harry could handle that. Hundreds of paps taking his picture everyday? Harry could handle that. Sleeping an hour between traveling places? Harry could handle that. Having to feel Louis' intense gaze burning holes into his head.
Harry couldn't handle that.
The fan just laughed it off with Liam while Niall glared at her. Harry was still too shocked to actually do anything except look at Louis. Even angry, he was still a beautiful sight.
After the Meet and Greer ended Harry made his way over to Louis. Only to be met with a judging gaze and a snarl. "What? You want to apologize?" Louis sneered.
Harry didn't even understand why Louis was angry. "Apologize for getting tricked into kissing someone?"
Louis' mouth fell open. Like he couldn't actually believe the words that we're leaving Harry's mouth. "Uhm, yes?" He made it sound like Harry was a toddler getting yelled at by their mother for taking the last cookie, even though she clearly said not to. He's actually never felt so small. In his entire life.
"I don't actually know why I should apologize because I did nothing wrong." Firm. Yes, he sounded firm. At least, he hoped so.
Louis looked at him- almost coldly. He opened his mouth, closed it and then opened it again. He looked shocked, in a way. He shook his head, almost like a dog before closing his mouth for a final time.
If looks could kill Harry would be six feet under at the moment. "Fuck, Harry, you're such an asshole." It hurt more than it should have.
Harry didn't understand because he literally did nothing wrong. So he stood there, watching as Louis turned around and walked away, hurt clearly visible on his face.
Without even realizing it he turned around to face Niall and Liam. Liam looked as confused as Harry felt and Niall looked- Niall looked angry.
"What just happened?" Liam asked, ever so confused. He looked to Niall and then to Harry, who just shrugged because he sure as hell would've liked to know what actually happened.
"Harry, I can't believe you just did that," Niall said, shaking his head and crossing his arms in front of his chest. It looked like it literally killed himself to remain as calm as he did. Harry's sure that he would've felt nails digging into him if there weren't people in the room. "Really," Niall continued, "that was such a dick move."
He didn't do anything wrong. "I didn't do anything wrong!" He exclaimed, maybe too loudly.
Niall shook his head and looked over Harry's shoulder before his gold blue eyes turned to him again. "If you say so," then he started walking away, bumping Harry's shoulder as he walked passed him. "Louis, my love, wait for me!" He yelled when he was a few feet away from Harry.
"I'm confused," Liam stated when Niall was out of earshot. And really, it wasn't even anything new because Liam was confused all the damn time. But the funny thing was, is that Harry was just as confused.
"Don't worry Li," He sighed. "Me too."
"That fan tricked you," And if Harry weren't literally having an inner battle with himself considering what to do then he would've actually replied to a sarcastic remark like 'Wow, Liam, you sure catch on fast.'
He didn't. Couldn't. He went to sat on the floor next against the wall and put his head in his hands. It was silent for maybe a minute before a groan left his lips. "What should I do?" If he sounded desperate, well that was only for him and Liam to know.
"Well," Liam started, "I might actually have an idea-" Harry's head snapped up at hearing this but before he could've said anything Liam continued, "And usually it works well enough for me."
So that's how Harry finds himself alone in his (and Louis') hotel room an hour later on the phone with none another than Zayn.
"I mean, like, he was in a bad mood the entire day but then the fan kissed me, mind you I was tricked into it, and he just kind of," he searches for the appropriate words, "He kind of just freaked out on me. Like, made it seem like such a big deal, when in reality it's not. And like, he blamed me for it and called me an asshole, and I don't understand."
On the another end of the line a sigh can be heard. "Harry, it's very obvious that he's jealous," Zayn says in a bored tone. It sounds almost like he can't believe Harry's that stupid to not know what wrong is. "And if you want this thing between you and Louis to continue, you'd better apologize."
'But I didn't do anything wrong!' Harry wants to shout. But.
"What thing?" He breathes out. If he weren't confused before he sure as hell is now.
"You know, The Thing going on between you and Louis," Zayn says. He sounds tired. Maybe he's tired of Harry. But Harry needs to know what he's talking about.
"No, I don't know what thing you're talking about."
It's silent for at least ten seconds. And then. "Harry," Zayn's voice sounds like he can't actually believe what he's hearing. "Don't tell me you don't know you and Louis have a thing going on."
There's not something going on between him and Louis. There's really not.
Sure, Louis only lets Harry touch him and maybe they stay up late nights to talk to each other and it's not really a big deal that they share the same bed and friends sometimes go on adventures with each other in the late night hours and friends always watch and support their friends from behind the curtain and-
Shit. There's something going on between Harry and Louis and Harry didn't know. Oh shit.
"Zayn," Harry breathes out when he's over the shock. "Zayn, there's something going on between me and Louis."
"Yeah, no shit Sherlock. It's kind of very obvious."
"Zayn, there's something going on between me and Louis and I didn't even know!" Suddenly it makes sense why Louis was so angry when that fan kissed him. Fuck, he would've been too.
Zayn's silent for a moment. "Don't you want something between you or?"
He definitely wants there to be a thing between him and Louis. He really wants that. "Of course I want there to be a thing."
He does. He really, really does. Louis is so pretty and nice and genuinely one of the best people in Harry's life.
"Good," Zayn says. "So just apologize and explain the situation to him. I think that would help."
All of a sudden Harry's nervous. He really shouldn't be but he can't help the little butterflies in his stomach. And it's not even the good, cute, loving butterflies. It's those evil little ones with the vampire teeth that literally bite at your organs until you want to throw up and when you do they laugh evilly and munch on your insides further. Harry swallows. "O-Okay. Okay, yeah," Deep breath. In. Out. "I should do that."
"You should." Zayn sounds bored. If Harry were Zayn he would've been too.
"I am," In. Out. In. Out. "Like, right now."
He hasn't even moved from where he's sat on the bed.
"I'm walking towards my door now," Nope. He's still seated firmly on the bed. He's not moving. Not until the evil butterflies stop.
"Harry," A groan. Then, "Get the fuck off the bed and go apologize to your boy." He doesn't leave room for an argument. Before Harry can even think of replying Zayn talks again, "I'm going to go now. Call me if everything went well." And then the line goes dead.
Harry stares at his phone. Then looks to the door. Then back to his phone.
He can do this. He can go talk to Louis and try to save their 'thing'. He can totally do this.
He stands up with shaky legs and makes his way to the door, taking in a very deep breath before opening the door.
He figures that Louis is staying with Niall so he makes his way down the hall and to the blonde's room. On his way over he passes Julian.
"Hey," The older of the two greets and stops to talk to Harry. "We're going to have to start recording the album soon."
Harry looks at him and nods. Just as he's about to turn around something strikes him. "Hey, Julian?" He asks. "Did you know there's a thing between me and Louis?"
Julian looks how Zayn had sounded. Almost like he can't believe Harry would ask such a stupid question. He doesn't answer for awhile, only stares at him. "Mate," He finally says, "I think the entire crew knows that you and Louis have a thing."
Well, everybody except Harry. Apparently. He doesn't say that though. Only nods as a thanks and continues to make his way over to Niall's room.
Once in front of the door he considers if it's the right thing to do.
He knocks. And waits.
"Oh," It's Niall who opens the door. There's distain in his voice. "It's you."
Harry nods. And swallows. And takes a deep breath. Then. "Is Louis here?"
Niall looks over his shoulder before folding his arms in front of his chest and pursing his lips together. "He is." That's all he provides.
"Can I," Those evil little butterflies are still just fucking nibbling on his organs. "Can I talk to him?"
"I don't know? Can you?" It's like Niall is trying to make Harry more nervous. It's working.
"May I talk to Louis?" He tries again, making his wording sound a bit better.
All of a sudden Louis is standing next to Niall, eyeing him up and down. Harry feels like a baby deer surrounded by two hungry lions. He's waiting for the attack. "It's okay, Niall," Louis is still eyeing him with caution. "He can talk to me."
Niall nods. But he doesn't move out of the doorframe to make space for Harry. It's probably a sign that he shouldn't do this. But.
Louis's standing there. Looking lovely and beautiful and wearing a too big jumper that may be Harry's and they have a thing.
"Right," He says, determined. "Alone, please."
Niall looks between them. Him and Louis exchange a look, almost to say 'Yes, it's okay. Leave me alone with him.' Niall nods and then steps aside, making room for Harry to step through the door. He walks in a bit further into the room and goes to sit on the bed. Waiting for Louis.
Louis stands at the door for a few more minutes, probably exchanging a few more words with Niall and then he closes the door and makes his way over to Harry. Alone.
Louis takes a seat on the bed also, but he sits at the end. Not near enough close to Harry. That's not good.
Right, he should save their thing.
"I'm sorry," He says when he feels like the awkward tension is a bit too much. Louis still eyes him with caution, though.
"Sorry for?" Ah, there is that mother scolding a child tone again.
"That I let that fan kiss me," He doesn't add the 'accidentally' part into the sentence. Probably for the best. "And I'm sorry that you go jealous over it." He shouldn't probably have said that.
Louis, to his surprise, only scoffs, rolls his eyes and puts his arms over his chest. "I wasn't jealous."
Don't smirk. Don't grin. Don't even smile. "Okay."
"I wasn't!" It sounds like Louis wants to convince himself more than he wants to convince Harry.
Harry dismisses the subject. He doesn't want Louis to throw him out of (Niall's) room. "I just," He begins again, "I'm sorry. I talked to Zayn and he explained to me that we have a thing, which by the way, I didn't know we had-"
"You didn't know we had a thing?" Louis looks to him with big, beautiful, blue eyes. Amused more than anything else. And Harry would've been embarrassed if Louis didn't actually look so gorgeous.
"Well, we never talked about it!" Harry exclaims. He needs Louis to realize that they never, ever talked about being a thing.
"Because I didn't think we had to! It was kind of obvious, Harry!" Louis looks like he wants to laugh at Harry. Not with, like he usually does.
It wasn't obvious.
Maybe it was. Maybe Harry is just dense.
He decides that it wasn't obvious. "It wasn't obvious." He waits. Then. "You could've, like, told me-"
He doesn't get to finish because the next second there's a pair on lips on his and-
It's Louis' lips.
And the butterflies are there again but this time he's certain they're the good kind. The kind that kinda makes everything alright. The kind that shits tiny little rainbows in your body and makes you feel joyful and yeah- it's definitely those kind.
The kiss barely last five seconds but when Louis pulls away Harry feels like he's on cloud 9. Maybe cloud 10.
Is there even a cloud 10?
Harry's sure Louis' lips is cloud 10. Louis' lips is every cloud except 9 because 9 is a cliché and Louis is anything but that.
Definitely the right kind of butterflies.
"Does that make it clear to you that we do, in fact, have a thing?" Louis requires when Harry can't speak. He's still on cloud 10.
Harry nods. Can't seem to find his voice. His eyes are on Louis' lips. Those very lovely, very soft, very pink lips.
He moves closer to the blue eyed beauty that is Louis and softly, oh so softly, caresses his cheek. "Can I kiss you again? You know, to make sure we actually do that a thing?"
A giggle escapes Louis' lips. Then a teasing smile settles on his face. "What if I say no?"
Then Harry would be very sad.
"Then, I'll just do this," He kisses Louis' forehead. "And this," a kiss to his left cheek, "And this," a kiss to his right cheek, "And this," A kiss to his nose, "And then this," A kiss to those beautiful, soft lips.
It's even better than the first one. It feels like a promise. He doesn't know what promise. Maybe a promise to always be there for each other or maybe a promise to fall in love with each other. It's feels like a promise, nonetheless.
"I can't believe," Louis starts to say when he pulls away and rest his head on Harry's shoulder, "That you didn't know we had a thing."
It was obvious. Louis only let Harry touch him. Only let this fingers get to know the soft edges and wonderful curves of Louis' body.
He can't believe he didn't know either.
And when he wakes Louis up at 3 AM the next morning with soft kisses to his face just because he can.
Well, nobody has to know.
Harry is so oblivious i seriously can't.
Finally a kiss.
Anything, making progress eh?
So bad news, this won't be updated next week because I'm currently working on a one shot and I just want to get that finished first before updating this. So the next update will be in exactly 2 weeks time :)
If this chapter was a bit confusing my twitter is @lxve_irwin if you have questions
See you all in 2 weeks my beauty's <3
Chapter 9: n i n e
It's kinda short but it's only a filler.
Enjoy the peace and quiet while you still can my loves x
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Louis sighs as he pets the head that is currently crying on his chest. He feels angry. Angry that Harry is crying on his chest, angry that he doesn't know why, angry because all he can do is hold the brunette in his arms while tears run down his face.
It's obvious that Harry doesn't want to cry in front of Louis. He doesn't sob. He cries silently, making small whimpering noises as he holds onto Louis' shirt.
Harry is relatively big, but Louis doesn't think he's seen anybody looking so small, ever.
When Louis was a little boy, barely 7 years old and in his first year of school, his mum bought a tumble drier. And Louis had always been excited for when his mum would do the washing because that means that he'd get to sit in front of the tumble drier and absorb the warm air the machine would blow out. Nothing was as fun for him as to sit on the floor in front of the tumble drier and enjoy the air warming him up on his back and neck. Even in the Summer he'd do it.
He remembers a conversation that went down between him and his mother because of his weird habit.
15 year old Louis sits in front of the machine he loves so much with his head tilted backwards and his eyes closed. The only sound in the washing room that is heard is the one of the machine mentioned previously. He doesn't even notice when his mother enters the room.
"You and that thing," Jay sighs as she stands in the doorframe, arms crossed in front of her chest and one ankle over the other. "Do you have like a weird kink that I should know of? Be free to tell me, I won't judge...much." She tries to joke, holding down her smile.
Louis doesn't open his eyes, only slides down so that the air can blow on his hair. It's better than using a blow dryer, honestly. "No, Mum. I just like it."
An eyebrow is raised as the woman inspects her son. There's no doubt in her mind that he's a weird one. "And if it gets too hot? Are you still going to sit in front of that thing and let it burn you?"
At that he opens one eye- right one- and looks at her with a wicked little smirk playing on his lips. "Mum, if it gets too hot I'll simply stand up and walk away."
And he had. If the air had gotten too hot he simply stood up and walked away.
For years it continued like that. Until the day Louis had to move out to uni where the only thing they had were washing machines and they didn't care how you got your clothes dry. As long as you had clothes on in class, they couldn't give a rat's ass.
But Louis had soon realized that he treated his problems the way he treated the tumble drier. When thing got too heated, Louis would stand up and walk away.
When his first boyfriend cheated on him? He stood up and walked away. When people called him homophobic names in high school? He stood up and walked away. When his father and his stepfather left him? He stood up and walked away. When he didn't want to face strangers in his old town anymore? He stood up and walked away.
Because that's what Louis did. He didn't face his problems, he didn't try to face his problems. He stood up and he walked away.
But with Harry?
Louis refuses to stand up and walk away. He loathes the idea of leaving Harry. Because unlike all the other times Louis actually wants to try. He wants to try with Harry. He wants to try everything with Harry everything. Every emotion, every adventure, every moment captured between them so that they can turn it into a memory only they know of.
He wants to try and give his everything because Harry is air and Louis desperately needs to breathe in.
So he sits in the bathroom of his and Harry's shared room( that's where he had found Harry) in a hotel that he can't even pronounce the name of, in a city that's he's never heard of, in a country he can give a damn about and a boy clinging onto him like Louis is his last lifeline while he silently cries into his chest.
And Louis waits.
He waits until he feels Harry's tears drying up and he waits until his whimpering stops. And when it does he takes Harry's face into his hands, wiping the wetness away from his face with his thumbs. "Wanna explain to me why I wake up in the middle of the night to an empty bed only to find you in the bathroom crying your eyes out?" He makes sure that his voice sound extra soft. He doesn't want to intimidate Harry with the hardness of it. Not when he clearly is in such a vulnerable state.
Harry shakes his head and takes Louis' hands off his face, holding them in his large ones. His looks down and his gaze remains on the floor when he speaks. "It's nothing," He sniffs. "I'm fine."
Louis' smile softens. "You know," He begins. "My mum used to say; the sun may shine and the birds may sing and you can laugh but that doesn't automatically mean everything's fine."
Blue meets green as Harry's eyes looks up from the ground. "It's really nothing."
Even his lie sounds as weak as his voice at the moment. Louis pulls his right hand away from Harry's, his left hand being engulfed by the two larger ones, and places it one the younger boy's chest. Exactly above his heart. "Your words don't speak as loud as your heart does," He says softly and moves a bit closet to Harry. "And right now your heart is screaming."
Sadness appears in Harry's eyes again and Louis want to cry because Harry doesn't deserve to be sad. Harry deserves butterflies and rainbows and lollipops and everything good. He moves his hand away from his chest and with shaky legs he stands up.
Harry looks up at him, eyes wet, nose red, mouth open. Louis's never seen someone so beautiful.
He offers a hand (and a smile) to the green eyed boy. Harry looks at him, then his hand, then the ground.
Finally, after a full minute of just staring at the ground, he places his hand in Louis', letting himself be pulled to his feet.
When they're face to face, well Louis kind of has to look up a bit, he turns around, showing his back to Harry. "C'mon, jump," He offers. "I'll carry you to bed."
Harry shakes his head, almost to himself and wipes at his nose with the back of his hand. "No, you're too small. You'll get us both hurt."
Louis rolls his eyes. "Seriously?" He asks, annoyance not really clear in his voice. The only thing that is clear is fondness. "Even when you cried your eyes out you still won't let my height go?" Harry shrugs and Louis sighs. "Just jump, Haz. I can carry you. I promise."
A hesitate expression settles on Harry's face. It looks like he's having an inner battle with himself, and almost as if the careless side of him wins, he shrugs and places his hands on Louis' shoulders before jumping.
Louis catches him by his thighs, only stumbling a bit. "Don't fall," Harry giggles. Almost as if he forget that he's suppose to be sad.
Don't fall? Too late. Louis thinks. "I won't," He says.
With carefully slow steps he makes his way over to the bed. He only struggles a bit, but successfully manages to get them there safely. He turns around when he stands in front of the bed and lets go of Harry's thighs, making the curly haired boy fall back on the bed with an "oomf!"
With quick steps, Louis makes his way to the headboard and quickly climbs into the bed, spreading his legs a bit so that Harry can lay between them.
Harry maneuvers his way to Louis, turning his back to Louis so that he can lay with his back pressed to Louis' chest. Carefully, Louis places his fingers in Harry's hair, massaging his scalp. It's something that calms that boy, Louis soon found out after they officially confirmed their thing. It's been two weeks since then.
It's silent between them, Louis working the tension out of Harry's scalp and Harry with his head on Louis' chest and eyes closed, finally relaxed after the day that got him a bit too upset.
"Okay to talk me now?" Louis asks after another five minutes, his fingers on the place above Harry's ears.
A hum escapes Harry and he opens his eyes. "I guess," He sighs. Immediately, Louis' movements stops and Harry can't help but glare. "Only if you continue."
Louis snorts and rolls his eyes but places his fingers in Harry's curls again. Harry hums in contentment and closes his eyes again.
"So?" Louis requires.
Harry sighs, not opening his eyes. "Well, you know how Johnson was all on my neck about my name not being in the media enough this morning?"
Louis nods, only to curse himself internally because Harry can't see him. "Yeah?" He says afterwards.
If Harry noticed his weird behavior, he doesn't pay it any mind. "Well, my day started shitty because of that," He sighs. "After that soundcheck was horrible. The band kept messing up and we couldn't really practice because of that." Louis hums, knowing that the band was a bit weird at soundcheck. Harry continues, "And after the concert was pretty okay. But that was until you went to the bathroom. Somebody threw something at me on stage and when I picked it up it was a mask of my face and on the blank side was a writing saying; Harry, kill yourself."
Louis' fingers stops moving. Okay, now he's fuming. Who would even tell Harry that?
Harry nudges Louis' inner thigh with his elbow, instructing him to continue his movements. "And like, it's okay because I'm used to stuff like that."
But you're not suppose to be used to stuff like that! Louis wants to scream. He doesn't though, allowing Harry to continue. "And then we got back to the hotel and you passed out so early and we couldn't even cuddle-"
"I'm sorry," Louis interrupts. He feels fucking awful knowing that he contributed to Harry's mini meltdown.
Harry waves a hand dismissively in the air. "It's not your fault. You were tired, and I understand," He hums when Louis' fingers skims over a particularly tension filled spot on his head. "And I couldn't sleep, so I went on twitter and I couldn't help but let the stupid mask get to me. So like I looked at indirects and like there was so much hate and I know that I shouldn't have but like...it bothered me." He sniffles again, hands wiping away the tears forming in his eyes. "And I guess the day was too much and I couldn't help but just...cry."
Louis places a kiss to Harry's temple. "Ahw no, Haz. Baby, I'm so sorry. I hope you never feel like that again." He coos in his ear.
A sigh leaves Harry's lips. "Lou, it's fine. I was just being a huge baby about it. I'm suppose to be used to it."
"No, Haz. You're only human. Nobody can handle the amount of hate you get and I just want you to know that you are so, so strong for dealing with all the vile words people send your way." Louis removes his fingers from Harry's head an places his arms around his neck, hugging him from behind.
"Sometimes...I just. I don't feel good enough," Harry sighs.
Louis immediately removes his arms around Harry's neck, placing it on his cheeks and turning his head to face him. "Everything you are, is everything I've always wanted."
Harry looks into his eyes, and they're so blue and they're so beautiful and they're so honest and he can't help but want to kiss him.
So he does.
Just like the first kiss, Louis feels like he's drowning. Drowning in the feeling of Harry's lips on his and drowning in happiness and drowning in Harry.
When they pull away, they can't help but smile at each other. Louis' hands lets go of Harry's face and he turns in to face forward. Arms wraps around Harry's neck again.
One of Harry's large hands wraps around Louis' skinny wrist, holding onto him tightly. "Thank you," He whispers in a voice he doesn't quite recognize as his own. It's way too small and insecure.
"Anything for my Hazzy," Louis smiles as he places a kiss to Harry's hair. He's pretty sure Harry can feel it. "Want me to sing you to sleep?"
Harry nods excitedly. He loves Louis voice.
"Okay," Louis says and searches for a song in his head. He mentally high fives himself when he comes across a song. He clears his throats and starts. "Hush little Hazzy, don't say a word. Louis' gonna buy you..." He trails off, not really knowing what to say. Can he say he's going to buy Harry the world? He's way too poor for that, even if he wanted to. "A chocolate bird." He blurts out the first words that comes to his head.
Harry tilts his head to the side. He looks Louis up and down with a smirk on his face, all traces of him being sad washed away. "A chocolate bird? Really?" He asks, amusement clear in his voice.
"I panicked! I didn't know what to say!" Louis defends himself. Sue him for wanting to buy Harry a chocolate bird.
Harry shakes his head and bites back the smile he's trying to hide. "You're ridiculous."
"Oh, am I?" Louis raises an eyebrow. He moves his hand to Harry's waist and starts tickling him. Harry immediately bursts out laughing, slapping Louis' hand away and begging him to stop. It's more adorable than it's suppose to be.
When Louis stops and they're both out of breath, they settle down. "C'mon," Louis pants, "I'm gonna sing you a real song so you can sleep."
"Well, serenade me then with your enchanting voice," Harry side glances up at Louis, still in between his legs. There's a smile on his face.
Louis has the perfect song. His mum used to sing it to him when he had nightmares as a young lad. So he clears his throats and begins the song, humming at the beginning.
When the night has come
And the land is dark
And the moon is the only light we'll see
No I won't be afraid
Oh, I won't be afraid
Just as long as you stand, stand by me
He sings, angelic voice the only thing that can be heard in their hotel room. Harry closes his eyes, letting Louis' voice take him to the darkness he was deprived of only a few hours ago. The last thing he hears before unconsciousness completely over takes his body is Louis singing;
Whenever you're in trouble won't you stand by me
Oh stand by me, won't you stand now, oh, stand
Stand by me
When Harry's small breaths fills the air, indicating that he is asleep, Louis places a kiss to his temple and whispers, "You are the sun and you are the sea. You are the air that I need to breathe."
Drama from the next chapter.
As usual it'd be up by Wednesday:)
I appreciate comments and kudos very much<3
Chapter 10: t e n.
If I get hate after this chapter I'll understand
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Days pass in a hazy blur of nothing and everything(everything being Louis) for Harry and before he can even catch himself they're in Finland for their last two shows.
Harry is okay.
He can't actually wait for the European part of the tour to be over because that means that they're getting a two week break before the tour start back up again for Japan, Australia, South Africa and the Middle East.
But Harry isn't excited about the two weeks he's going to get off. He's excited because he's going to get two weeks alone with Louis.
He can't help but smile as he remembers back to how he convinced Louis to spent the break with him.
"So," Harry begins as he traces his fingers softly over the skin of Louis' tummy. They're currently on the bus, Louis lying on the couch and Harry sitting crossed legged on the floor in front of him. They're the only ones awake. "What are you going to do on while it's break?"
Louis shrugs and keeps his eyes focus on the ceiling. "Gonna go back to Liam's."
A smirk settles on Harry's face. "Or you can come with me to visit my mum."
Louis sits up immediately, making Harry's hand movements stop and looking at him as if he's crazy. "Are you crazy?"
"No," Harry says, a goofy smile on his lips. "But I'd like for you to meet my mum."
Louis tilts his head to the side, raising one eyebrow and inspecting Harry. It would've been creepy if he weren't so cute. "Huh," He begins. "Why?"
"Just think you and her would get along splendidly," Harry shrugs. "And she has a lot of coco pops at home."
Louis perks up at hearing that. A big smile settles on his lips as he nods enthusiastically. "Well, guess who's meeting your mum soon!"
And just like that, Louis's going to meet Harry's mum.
"Harry," Louis whines, tugging at the sleeve of Harry's t-shirt. He looks like a little kid, trying to get their mum's attention. "I'm bored."
Harry sighs, swatting Louis' hand away as he starts to pinch Harry's skin, even though he knows that Harry has sensitive skin. "Well, what am I suppose to do about that?"
He receives a shrug from Louis. "I'm the King, entertain me you filthy peasant."
They're currently sitting in the dressing room, on an old couch that smells kind of funny and it's kind of perfect for them. It's the second to last show of this leg of the tour, and while everybody around them is running around, preparing for tonight, they sit like they have the world's time.
And maybe, they do.
"How?" Harry finds himself asking, even though he knows that he'll somehow get in trouble if he's going to be entertaining Louis. He's okay with that fact.
A groan is heard from Louis, as he dramatically throws himself back on the couch, making him lay down. "'Dunno. Just do it."
"Isn't that Nike's slogan?" It's Niall who asks them this. He comes into the dressing room, taking the chair opposite the couch they're currently sitting on, and smirking at them knowingly. Like he knows something that they don't.
"Guess it is," Louis mumbles, hand over his eyes. He's such a drama queen, honestly. "Whatever. Just entertain me."
"We could check the stadium out," Harry suggest. "Like, see if they have anything interesting."
Immediately, Louis sits up with a devious smile on his face. "Yes, we can," He stand up and holds his hand out for Harry to take, pulling him up when their hands are interlocked. "C'mon, let's go investigate the stadium."
Niall follows them out as they walk and Louis turns around, glaring. "What are you doing?"
"Gonna come with you," Niall shrugs. "'M bored."
"Oh, no you don't," Louis says, a bit too sassy. "This investigation is for me and Harry only-"
"Actually, it's Harry and I," Harry interrupts him, smiling fondly because the way Louis says his name makes it sound like he's saying 'Harreh'.
Louis glares at him, eyes narrowed and lips pursed, before his attention is back on Niall. "Like I was saying," He clears his throat. "This investigation is for Harry and I only. Go bother Liam."
And then Harry finds himself being dragged away by Louis, even as small as he is. Niall watches them with sad eyes, but then a smirk settles on his face, eyes filled with a little twinkle. "Have fun!" He yells, happily.
An hour later, Harry finds himself behind the curtain, watching their opening band rocking all their songs for the screaming fans. He stands behind Louis, arms wrapped around his tiny waist and his chin resting on his shoulder.
"They're good," He mumbles as the lead singer does a perfect high note. It hurts his ears a little bit, if he's being completely honest.
Louis hums, swaying a bit in his arms. "You're better though," He turns his head sideways, puckering his lips. Harry lean down and places a quick, yet so extremely sweet kiss on his lips.
And then all of a sudden Louis's looking at him like Harry invented the internet. There's a fond, fond, fond smile on his face, crinkles by his eyes and he looks so happy.
"What?" Harry asks, hand flying to his face. "Is there something on my face?"
Louis laughs a tiny laugh. It's adorably cute. "No." He shakes his head, fondly. And then he looks at Harry like Harry is the stars and Louis is the moon and somehow they're really not suppose to fit together. But. They do. "It's just," He begins, still smiling. "I kind of get this feeling whenever I'm around you."
Harry buries his head in Louis' neck. "Please don't tell me you want to throw up every time you're with me."
He receives a elbow in his stomach. It's more endearing than anything else.
"No, you tit," Louis turns around, pressing their stomachs together and throwing his arms around Harry's neck. "I'm being serious here."
"Okay, then tell me."
"I'm kind of in love with you."
And the world doesn't stop with that one sentence but it definitely freezes.
Harry's head is spinning. I'm kind of in love with you.
He can't think. Nothing makes sense.
Louis is staring at him like he understands. Like his boyfriend(?) is the one who told him he's in love with him. Harry's eyes are wide and his mouth is hanging open just a bit as Louis places his hands on Harry's cheeks and stands on his tippy toes, pressing their foreheads together. "It's okay," He mumbles, starting to caress Harry's cheeks. "You don't have to say it back. I just wanted to let you know how I feel."
Harry nods, breathing out. Even if he wanted to tell Louis that he loves him too, he can't. He can't because he doesn't know how. He's never been in love, never knew what it felt like. Even if he is in love with Louis, he wouldn't know it because he doesn't know love.
But Louis is looking at him like he's okay and like the situation is okay and Harry guesses they're okay.
Without really thinking about anything at all, he presses his lips to Louis' thin, pink, awaiting ones.
It's perfect. They're perfect. And the
situation is okay.
OOPSIES! HARRY STYLES CAUGHT KISSING BEHIND THE CURTAIN!
Yes, you've read it right. A certain 21-year-old has been caught red handed on screen. Or shall I rephrase that? He has been caught red lipped on screen!
Although the photo is very blurry, we can definitely tell that, that is Mr. Harry Styles. Oh, those curls have always been such a blessing to us.
The photo, that had been taken by a fan, shows Harry lip locked with who we know now as Louis Tomlinson, 23, who has been on tour with the band since the tour started. He's certainly quite handsome, from the handful of photos we've seen of him, isn't he?
We've all wondered what went on with these two for weeks. Are they saying? Aren't they saying? Are they friends? Friends with benefits, maybe?
But it looks like there's definitely something going on between them, considering they're not afraid to hide their make-out session. The Popstar has always had a little Trouble with the romance department and we're just wondering, will this one last?
We here at GossipMix would love to know what your opinion on the matter is by leaving comments in our comment box.
Photo of Harry and Louis Tomlinson kissing is at the top.
"Harry, what did I tell you?" Mr. Johnson's voice sounds frustrated. Good.
Harry holds the phone up by pressing it between his shoulder and ear, while pulling a sleeping Louis to his chest. He passed out the moment they got at the hotel. "Uhm," Harry honestly isn't bothered with Johnson at the moment. He only cares about Louis being comfortable. "That I shouldn't be seen with Louis again."
"Yes, and what the hell did you do?" Johnson sound angry and Harry has to hold back his giggle. He loves making the bastard angry. It brings him great joy.
"Relax," He says while petting Louis' hair. "It was just an article."
A sigh is heard on the other end. Then, "Harry, you're making it difficult for yourself."
Harry rolls his eyes. He honestly can't be bothered with Johnson's stupid attempts at threatening him. "Okay, Mr. Johnson, I understand. I'm sorry, it won't happen again." He says way too sweetly.
And before Johnson can even think of replying, Harry presses the 'end' button, rolling his eyes and setting his phone on the bedside table, next to the clock.
He's done with being manipulated by the people who's suppose to be working for him.
Harry wakes up to hearing Louis say, "Yes. I understand."
He sits up, sunlight shining brightly into the window, illuminating the color of Louis' skin.
But he's frowning down at the phone in his hand. Like he somehow wants it to explode by just looking at it.
"You okay?" Harry asks, yawning and stretching his hands over his head. Nothing like a good stretch in the morning.
"Yeah," Louis says and then turns to him, a smile gracing his pretty face. "Was me mum. Said me sibling are missing me. Told me I should visit soon."
"What did you tell her?" Harry asks, reaching for his phone on the table. He has no messages.
Louis shrugs. "Just told her I understand."
But he doesn't look happy at all.
Harry doesn't really pay any mind to it, leaning in to kiss Louis, but getting shoved away. "Not with that awful morning breath."
Harry laughs and stands up, making his way towards the bathroom. If he would have looked back he'd seen Louis looking down at his phone with a sad expression on his face.
For the rest of the day Louis is kind of distant, even during the concert he looks far away. Like he's planets away from his own mind.
Harry figures that everybody had bad days, as he kisses Louis' temple softly. Louis looks at him happy and sad at the same time, a smile on his lips but no crinkles at his eyes.
"Love you." He mumbles into his chest, directly after the show. Even though Harry is full of sweat and he's panting out of breath, Louis can't help but cuddle into him.
Harry hugs him tighter to his chest, not saying anything, inhaling the sweet smell of Louis and Louis' love.
It reads 2:12 AM on the clock when Harry wakes up in the confinement of the hotel bed.
And there are quite a few things wrong with that, actually.
He's cold, is the first problem. Helsinki has been windy and cloudy all day, even when they had played the show, it still looked as if rain was coming soon. As soon as they got back to the hotel, Harry had pulled the bed's cover off the bed and wrapped it around himself, making him a human burrito. It didn't start raining though, and it isn't raining now. But Harry can hear thunder in the distance, and he shivers slightly, pulling the cover closer to him.
The second problem is that he's alone. He's pretty sure that Louis' arms were around him when they had fallen asleep only three hours prior. Louis' side of the bed, the left side, is also cold, indicating that he had been out of bed quite some time.
Harry's not really bothered about that fact though, because the bathroom door is closed and he can see the light shining under the door. Maybe Louis just needed to wee. Or maybe he wanted to play a game on his phone and not bother Harry with the sound of it.
He's considerate like that.
So Harry rolls over to Louis' side and pulls the covers into him, making him warm up instantaneously. He closes his eyes and sighs contently into the darkness of the room.
He quite likes how his life is turning out at the moment.
About two minutes later the bathroom door opens and Harry hears how the light switch is turned off. Louis' movements sounds soft and careful as he makes his way over to the bed, almost as if he's afraid that if his steps are too loud he'll wake Harry. Harry smiles at that.
Louis switches on the light and moves towards the bed to his side. Or Harry's side now. It doesn't really matter.
He doesn't even try to move Harry, only crunching down to his knees so that he's face to face with Harry. Careful hands are suddenly caressing Harry's cheeks and he would open his eyes to look at Louis, but it feels too nice to ruin this.
So he lays down with closed eyes as Louis rubs his thumb over Harry's cheek. He mumbles something incoherent and then there's cold lips on Harry's forehead and a hushed voice whispering in his ear, "I'll miss you."
Harry sits up in bed as Louis turns his back on him. He's confused.
Louis' going to miss him? What does that mean?
"Lou?" Harry says in a soft voice. Louis immediately freezes from where he's standing five feet away from the bed.
He's in normal clothes, Harry notices. Black skinny jeans clinging to his thin legs and an Adidas jacket over his tiny shoulders. Hair combed to perfection, from what Harry can see.
He doesn't turn around to face Harry. "Yeah?"
"Aren't you coming back to bed?" Harry asks and moves to his spot on the right. Maybe Louis' mad because he took his spot.
Louis still won't turn around to face him but Harry can see the movement of his head as he shakes it. "No," He takes a deep breath. "No, I'm not."
A frown settles on Harry's face. Did he do something to make Louis angry at him? He doesn't think so. He pulls the covers off of him and swings his legs over the side of the bed to stand up and make his way over to the blue eyed beauty.
Once he's in front of him, Louis refuses to meet Harry's eyes, gaze on the carpet beneath their feet. Their bodies are almost touching. "Why not?" Harry places his hand on Louis' shoulder. He notices how Louis is shaking.
A deep breath in taken. Then, "I'm leaving."
Harry's right eyebrow raises. "What do you mean?"
Finally Louis looks up at him. Eyes red and tears running down his cheeks. He looks so sad. So broken. So beautiful. He hugs his middle tightly. "I'm leaving, Harry."
Harry still doesn't get it. Louis's leaving? To where? Leaving their shared room? Leaving for the night? Leaving for-
Harry looks over his shoulder to the corner behind him and sees suitcases. Louis' suitcases.
Louis's leaving. Louis's leaving the tour. Louis's leaving them. Louis's leaving Harry.
Louis wants to leave Harry and Harry's not okay with that.
He suddenly feels numb. Legs feel like jelly and heart feels broken. He looks to the Louis again, who's still crying. "Why?" He gets out, voice cracking and close to tears himself.
"Because," Louis wipes away the tears on his cheeks with his left hand. "I want to."
Fuck. Harry can't think straight. His mind is clouded with the thought of being alone. Being without Louis. "No," He shakes his head, mostly to himself. "No, you're not leaving."
They're both crying now. It suddenly feels ten times colder. "Yes, I am." Louis cries.
Why? Why does Louis want to leave? Is it because of Harry? Is it because he can't say 'I love you' back yet?
"Is it because I can't say I love you?" Harry asks. He's aware of how sad he sounds. He's aware of how sad he feels, too.
Louis shakes his head. "No, I just want to leave. I don't want to be here any more."
And suddenly Harry feels angry. No. Louis can't leave. Louis can't tell Harry that he loves him and then leave. "You can't do that," He says harshly, voice sharp and eyes narrowed. "You can't tell me you love me and then leave me. You can't do that, Louis. It doesn't work like that."
Louis flinches back, scared. He's shaking more now. "I'm sorry," He whispers while shaking his head. "I'm so sorry."
Thunder strikes outside, illuminating the night with its bright light.
Harry can't find it in himself to care. "Don't be sorry!" He shouts, maybe too loud. "Don't leave me."
Louis takes a step back. He looks so small. "I want to," He says. "I'm sorry."
He still looks beautiful. Even when he's breaking Harry's heart with every passing moment.
Harry doesn't feel angry now. He feels numb. Brain replaying every moment that he and Louis spent together. The most recent is of Louis telling him that he loves him. "Do you even love me?" He asks in a small voice. He has to know.
Louis' eyes snaps to Harry. They're big and full of tears and blue. He looks at Harry as if he can't believe Harry asked him that. "Of course I love you."
"Then why do you want to leave me?" He takes a step closer to Louis. "If you love me, why do you want to leave me?"
Blue won't meet green this time. Louis' gaze is on the ground. "Your mum was right," He says. "Sometimes love isn't enough."
And it feels like a sword is cutting his chest open because not only is Louis using Harry's mum's words(that Harry had told him about late one night, when he was tired and sad)against him but he is also implying that he loves Harry, but not enough.
"What did I do?" Harry breathes out. He can't lose Louis now. Not when he's only starting to be okay. He takes a step closer and takes Louis' face into into his hands. "Please tell me so that I can make you stay."
"Harry," Louis whispers and glances up at Harry. There's still tears on his cheeks, no matter how many times he wipes it away. "In a world where everybody wants you I will always be yours, but you will never be mine."
What does that even mean? Harry wants to ask. It doesn't make sense because he's Louis' and Louis is his and they're each other's and nothing feels okay at the moment.
The only explination is that Louis saw something the fans must have said. Something about how Harry is 'their man' and Louis isn't even for him. That's ridiculous, though because Louis is everything. "Was it something the fans said?"
Louis shakes his head. "No, Harry." And the saddest thing is that he sounds honest.
Harry presses his forehead against Louis'. "Don't leave," He whispers desperately, trying to convince Louis to stay. "Stay. Stay with me."
Louis' pulling away from him and it's so unfamiliar that Harry can't help but let out a sob. Everything's falling apart.
He does the only thing he can think of.
He kisses Louis. But. But Louis isn't kissing him back. Louis isn't pressing his lips to Harry's and nothing's okay. The more pressure he puts against Louis' lips the more Louis is pulling back and their first kiss was suppose to be a promise for something good but this kiss is a promise being broken.
When Harry does pull away, Louis takes a step back and looks Harry in the eyes. "I'm sorry," He says, but the tears on his cheeks are dry. "But I want to leave."
He walks past Harry to the corner, to where his suitcases are. To where Harry's life is crashing in front of his face.
He takes the suitcase at its handle but just as he wants to start walking he stops. And stares at the jumper that Harry had thrown on the carpet earlier. Conveniently, it's Louis' favorite jumper to wear from Harry's selection. He walks over to it and picks, caressing the soft material in his hands and hugging it close to his chest. He looks to Harry and they make eye contact. "Can I keep this?" It sounds more like a plead than a question.
Harry nods. It's the only thing he can do. They stare at each other for maybe too long. Maybe too intensely. Louis nods and zips open his bag, folding the piece of clothing an carefully setting it down between his other clothes.
Harry wants to barf. It's happening. Louis's leaving and Harry can't do anything about it. He doesn't feel okay.
He realizes in that moment of watching Louis put away his jumper that he doesn't want Louis anymore. He doesn't want him but he needs him. He needs Louis. Louis makes him okay and he's pretty sure he makes Louis okay and they make each other okay and Louis can't leave. Not now. Not ever.
It's not healthy to feel like this. Harry knows. But fuck, being unhealthy has never felt so good as it does with Louis by his side.
But Louis isn't by his side. Not anymore.
Louis is currently walking away. Walking past Harry with his suitcase wheeling behind him. Walking past Harry and not even looking at him.
He needs Louis to stay. He can't just let him go. He wipes away the tears on his cheeks and folds his arms in front of his chest. "Stop," He sounds firm. Louis stops in his tracks, but he doesn't turn around to face Harry. It can't break Harry anymore. "You asked me if you could stay," He says, referring to so many weeks ago with Louis in his hotel room. It feels like a different universe now. "And I said always. I said you could always stay with me. Please," He's aware that he's pleading but he's not above that at the moment. He'd even get down on his knees and beg, if it just meant that Louis would stay. "Please, stay. Don't leave me."
"Don't make it any more difficult than it already is," Louis shakes his head and it wouldn't be difficult if Louis just stayed. He walks to the door, hand on the handle. He doesn't even look back at Harry when he mumbles, "I'll miss you. I love you. Bye."
And just like that he's walking out. Walking away from Harry.
The first raindrop hits the window just as Louis closes the door, leaving with his suitcase and Harry's heart.
I warned you though :(
Next chapter is Sunday!! :)
Oh lights go down
In the moment we're lost and found
I just wanna be by your side
If these wings could fly
Oh damn these walls
In the moment we're ten feet tall
And how you told me after it all
We'd remember tonight
For the rest of our lives
He doesn't cry when he tells everybody that Louis left.
He doesn't cry on the plane back to London when he goes through his phone and sees a photo of Louis.
He doesn't cry when he drives to Holmes Chapel and Livin' On A Prayer starts playing.
He doesn't cry when he hugs his mum, immediately getting asked if he's okay.
He's not okay, but he doesn't cry. Only offers her an empty 'of course, mum' and a half hearted smile.
It's when he's alone in his old bedroom, surrounded by memories of his childhood and the time when everything was still okay, that he cries. Louis taking over his mind. Memories of how Louis left him replaying over in his head and memories of him pleading for Louis to stay.
It goes on like that for the first week of the break.
Spending his days around his mum and Robin, pretending that he isn't heart broken and empty. His nights are filled with tears and questions like 'why?' and 'was it me?' and 'can I at least just kiss him one more time?'
He doesn't even leave the house, secluding himself from the outside world. It's kind of pathetic, but what else is he suppose to so?
He turns off his phone, knowing that Niall will text him a bunch of times asking how he's doing. He doesn't even want to know what Liam's texts says and he doesn't even try to call Zayn, because Zayn can't fix this problem.
Zayn can't bring Louis back to him.
Except Louis himself.
Harry isn't holding onto that hope that Louis will come back, though. If Louis didn't even stay when Harry basically begged him to, he doubts he will come back out of free will.
He's walking in a city he doesn't recognize.
The street he's walking in is dark, only one streetlight shining brightly over the long, silent street. The streetlight stands tall and narrow and the light it's illuminating is very dim. It doesn't really help him at all.
He's alone, so it seems.
He's only surrounded by the feeling of loneliness and darkness. The shops are deserted and open, but he doesn't really pay any attention. The only thing his attention is focused on is the feeling of wanting to get out of the dark place.
"Harry?" A small, scared voice calls in the distance. He can recognize that voice anywhere. Louis.
"Lou?" He calls out, turning around in circles and looking for Louis. When he can't find him, he starts running down the street, head peaking into every alley to see if he can detect where Louis is located. "Louis, where are you?"
It doesn't get an immediate answer, the only sound is his voice echoing through the street. He continuous to search, stopping when he hears Louis again.
"Harry, help me," Louis' voice sounds panicked and small and it sounds like he's so far away but Harry can almost feel Louis' eyes burning on his skin. "Harry, help me. I'm scared."
"Louis, where are you?" Harry calls out, back on the spot where he originally started out. It feels like there's more light on the street now that he's standing still.
"Harry, I'm scared," He sounds so close that Harry can hear how fragile he sounds. He turns around in circle again and -
There Louis is.
Under the spotlight of the streetlight, standing in nothing but the jumper that he took from Harry, it reaches his mid-thigh, making it look like a dress on him. His arms behind his back and bare legs crossed over one another. Harry doesn't know how he over looked the beauty that Louis is in the first place, but he's glad he found him now.
"Harry, help me," Louis pleas, eyes desperate and full of tears and still so fucking beautiful that Harry can't help but lose his breath as he look to him.
Harry starts to move forward to help him, but when he takes his first step he falls down. It doesn't even hurt in the slightest as his skin makes contact with the ground. He looks to his feet and sees a chain around his ankle, the chain attacked to a pole that wasn't there in the first place.
He looks to Louis again, still laying with his stomach pressed to the hard pavement and hands holding up his chest, and all of a sudden he sees a dark shadow appear from behind Louis.
The silhouette of the shadow has a familiar body build, lean and firm and somehow masculine. The person- Harry can't see his face yet- is dressed sharply in a dark blue business suit, elegance and sophistication portrayed perfectly.
When the person steps into the light, Harry can clearly see who it is- Johnson.
He almost squeals of joy, but then Johnson steps behind a wide eyes Louis, throws his right arm around his neck, almost like he's trying to trap Louis, and he brings his left hand to the side of Louis' face, gun in his hand.
He looks like a robot.
"Harry, please, please," Louis pleads, voice shaky and tears running down his face. His hands are gripping Johnson's arm like a vice, trying to get it off. "Don't let me die. Please, Harry, I love you. Help me."
Harry wants to shout. Wants to tell Louis that he can't help. That he's stuck. But when he opens his mouth to speak no words come out. It's like his vocal cords have been ripped out. He keeps trying to shout. Do something. Anything. But he can't.
"Harry, save me!" Louis cries, cheeks now wet with tears and eyes red and desperate to be saved, but Harry can't save Louis because Harry can't even save himself. No matter how hard he tries.
Louis' squirming in Johnson's hold, trying to get the arm off his neck. He struggles for a few more moments before suddenly stilling. Arms dropping to his sides and voice sounding on edge as he speaks, "Is it because you don't love me? Is that why you don't want to save me?"
Harry wants to shout that he wants to help. He wants to save Louis. He looks to Louis, then down to where his ankle is chained up an starts to tug his leg out of the metal's hold. It's useless.
Louis starts to sob for an entirely different reason than being held at gunpoint. His hands fly up to his face, covering his eyes. "You don't love me. You don't love me," He opens his eyes and looks directly at Harry and sniffles. "I love you, Harry. Why don't you love me? Why am I not good enough for you? Would you rather let me die than love me?"
Harry wants to fucking shout at him that, that outrageous and ridiculous because Louis is Harry's and he would do anything to protect Louis, but-
He's still stuck and he still can't speak and he wants to cry because Louis thinks he's not good enough for him but it isn't like that because Louis is his everything.
Louis turns his face to Johnson. "Do it," He says with determination, eyes sharp and voice. "Pull the trigger. He doesn't love me anyway."
No. No, Louis can't do that. He can't be that dependent on Harry.
Harry realizes that Louis gave him his heart, just like that. Only letting Harry in and Harry couldn't even do the same.
Harry broke Louis by not returning his love and Louis broke Harry by leaving.
It's a vicious thought to have but it's the truth and Harry feels tears running down his face as Johnson presses his lips to Louis' temple, kissing him softly and then pressing the gun to the side of his head again.
Johnson's making direct eye contact with Harry as he puts his finger on the trigger, a sly smirk playing on his lips. It's a kind of smirk that says 'I won'.
It can't end like this, please. Harry wants to shout it from the rooftops but it just comes out as a sob, broken and full of regret.
Louis close his eyes, breathing in deeply before Johnson's hand pulls-
Harry sits up in his tiny childhood bed, panting and full of sweat. He searches for his phone and unlocks it when he finds it, the time clearly visible on the homescreen of the iPhone.
It's 2:12 AM
He throws his phone somewhere on the bed and falls onto his bed, sighing deeply.
It was just a dream.
A fucking strange dream, but still. He's more grateful than anything else.
The bed is a bit too small considering he last used it when he was 16. He sits up, placing his feet on the ground and head in his hands.
When he stands up, he makes his way over to the window, placing his hands on the glass as he comes to a halt in front of it.
The moon and the stars are shining bright and Harry can't help but wonder about Louis.
Is he okay? Is he awake too? Is he thinking about Harry? Does he still love Harry? Does he regret leaving him? Is he considering to come back to Harry? Does he even-
He shakes his head to himself, clearly his thoughts. He shouldn't think like that. He should forget about Louis.
But he he figures it's a start as he makes his way over to the bed and closes his eyes, forgetting about Louis only temporally.
The next day he decides he's going to leave the house. If only for a bit.
It's a Tuesday, so the teenagers and young kids are all in school. It's a win.
He throws on some skinny jeans, gumboots and a hoodie, seeing as it's very wet outside.
As he makes his way down the stairs, he hears his mum in the kitchen. "Harry?" She calls, sounding a bit distracted.
He stumbles in the kitchen clumsily, finding his mum making herself a cuppa. He walks over to her, wraps his arms around her waist and places a hurried kiss on her cheek.
"Morning," He places his chin over her shoulder, looking out the window in front of him. "Just heading out for a bit."
Anne raises an eyebrow suspiciously. "Oh?"
He shrugs. He's pretty surprised himself.
"Okay," She says and takes a sip of her tea.
Harry lowers his gaze to the floor and retrieves his arms. He makes his way over to the back door, but before he can leave he hears his mum call him back.
He turns around to face her. "Yeah?"
She sits her cup down on the counter and then her eyes scan over his. When she looks up her she has a soft smile on her face. "You know that I will always be here if you want to talk, right?"
It's silent for a few moments. They're only staring at each other, like they're trying to figure the other one out. With a nod, Harry opens the door and makes his way out of it, leaving behind a silent Anne.
With his hands in his pockets and his head bowed low, he starts walking his way over to the small pond he found shortly after his fourteenth birthday.
He had also lost his treehouse that year and the pond was the place he would usually go to clear his head. He hopes it works now.
The walk is silent and short and when Harry lifts his head to look up at the sky he can't help but compare the blueness of it to Louis' eyes.
The pond is still as small and clean as ever and the grass around is green and wet and maybe, just maybe, it can help Harry forget about Louis because Louis's constantly on his mind and he just wants to forget. He takes a seat on the grass and bring his knees to his chest, arms folding around them and resting his head between his knees and chest.
The wind is blowing like it has a purpose, strong and not too loudly. Harry lifts his head and throws it backwards, hair flowing wildly in the wind. He wants to give himself to the wind so that it can take him to a place where blue isn't the only color and Louis isn't his only lifeline.
Behind him, someone clears their throat.
He looks behind him and is met with the sight of a girl. Her hair is short and brown and her eyes are sharp and sapphire blue. Black skinny jeans cling to her short and curvy legs and she's wearing a black crop top that shows of a few tattoos on her arms.
She looks like Louis.
But she isn't. Because no matter how much Harry wants her- or anyone else, for that matter- to be Louis, they aren't. They can't compare to him, anyway.
"You're in my spot," The girls says bossily and crosses her arms over her chest. She glares at him.
"Sorry," He mumbles, but he doesn't even attempt to get up or move. He just wants to forget about Louis.
Her glare sharpens. "Are you gonna move?"
He shrugs and looks forward over the pond, to where a few ducks are at the other side. They look happy.
With a sigh, the girl moves forward and sits next to him, crossing her legs and placing her chin in her hand. "You look sad."
And wow, that's unexpected.
The thing is, Harry knows he looks sad. He knows that his mum knows he looks sad. He knows that Robin knows he looks sad. He knows that even the boys knew he looked sad after he told them that Louis left.
But this girl- this girl who doesn't even look a day over twenty, this girl he doesn't even know- is the first one who grows a pair and actually confront him about it.
He can either tell her that she's crazy or he can tell her the truth. Whatever. The worst she can do is go to the press and sell this story.
He shrugs and crosses his legs so that he's sitting in the same position she's in. He places his hand on the grass and start picking at it. "Probably because I am."
The girl- who hasn't even bothered to introduce herself- smiles. Her eyes are blue but they don't sparkle. "So am I."
He'll call her Sapphire.
"Why?" Harry asks, curious as to why this pretty girl would even be sad.
Louis is pretty and he's sad too, Harry reminds himself.
She shrugs. "Because love is dead."
With an raised eyebrow he looks at her. "Why do you say that?"
Her eyes skim over the pond, landing on the ducks. She has a small smile playing on her lips. "Because my boyfriend is dead."
Harry flinches literally. Sapphire says it like it doesn't mean anything but he can her how her voice breaks. He can't relate, but somehow, he can.
"I'm sorry," He says, a bit uncertain. What is he suppose to say to a stranger who lost her boyfriend?
A hand is waved dismissively before she looks to him. "Why are you sad?"
Harry lowers his gaze and keeps it on the grass. He likes the color. "Because love is alive but it isn't enough."
"What's that suppose to mean?" She asks, scooting closer to him.
"It means he left me because he loved me but I didn't tell him I love him." He tries to keep his voice as emotionless as possible. It doesn't work.
Sapphire raises her right eyebrow. "Well, do you love him?"
He doesn't know. He doesn't know, at all. She shouldn't ask him this because he can't answer her. He sighs. "I don't know what love feels like."
She moves so that she can sit hip to hip with him. When their sides are touching, she turns her arm so Harry can she the only tattoo she has on her inner arm.
In small, curvy letters it reads:
Love is brutal,
Love is unkind,
But don't let it leave you behind.
"What does it mean?" Harry asks, after he inspects the tattoo.
Sapphire crosses her arms in front of her chest, a small smile playing on the corners of her lips. "It means that even though love is painful it's still the best experience of your life."
"Was your boyfriend the best experience of your life?" Harry asks, and maybe it's too personal but he literally told her something he won't even tell his mum. So.
She nods. "Of course."
"Are you trying to tell me that love hurts but it's worth it?" He presses.
She looks at him curiously, like she wants to cut open his brain and study him. Finally she replies, "It only hurts when it's worth it."
He hurt because of Louis. Louis is worth it. Louis is worth everything.
He doesn't press further and she doesn't either. They sit in silence, watching the ducks from across the pond and letting the wind blow over them.
Sapphire stands up after 30 minutes of silence. "Well," She says, wiping the bottom of her jeans clean with her hands. "This was fun, but unfortunately I'll have to go."
He looks up at her, an eyebrow raises. "Aren't you going to tell me your name?"
An amused smile is playing on her lips. "Why would I tell you my name if you're just going to forget me anyway?"
She's very straightforward. Harry likes her.
"Touché," He smiles, watching her walk away. She turns around to face him when she's no less than so feet away form him.
"You don't have to worry about this getting out," And her eyes has a sparkle in them now. "Harry Styles."
She leaves without looking back and Harry can't help but smile.
She looks like Louis but Harry's glad she isn't.
When he walks into the front door of his mum's house, he's greeted with a raised eyebrow. "You look happy," Anne says, flipping the page of the magazine she's currently reading.
He can tell her he's happy and pretend he's fine or he can tell her the truth. "Not happy," He shakes his head, dimple on full display. "Just better."
He's rewarded with a smiles. "Good."
On the day that he's suppose to leave, his mum places kisses all over his face, whispering 'you'll be okay' into his ears.
He doesn't tell her that he won't be okay.
He hugs her tightly.
It's difficult to start the tour when Louis isn't there to cheer everybody up, Harry notices quickly.
He wasn't only a sunshine for Harry, but for everybody else too. It seems dull without him.
Lux tugs at his fingers on the first day when they're in the hotel they'll be staying at while they're in Japan, trying to get his attention. "Where's LouLou?" She asks, innocent and eyes big and nobody even told her that Louis isn't coming back.
He crutches down so that he's eye leveled with her. He strokes her soft cheek with two fingers. With a sad smile he says, "LouLou won't be coming back on tour with us."
Lux frowns. "But I want him here."
I do, too. He thinks. "I'm sorry, Luxie, but LouLou isn't coming back." He replies and it breaks his heart every time he hears himself say it.
She frowns and looks up him, sadly. He can relates. With a defeated sigh she replies, "Okay." Before she's running back to search for Lou."
Harry watches her leave, wishing he could accept it as easily as she can.
He sighs, and turns his way to his room. He just wants to forget Louis.
It's 9:36 PM when Harry lifts himself off the bed, deciding that he can't sleep. Not without someone. Not without the one.
The city outside the window is busy yet lonely. It's like his mind, he thinks.
He paces around in his room for awhile, before making a decision to go annoy Liam. It'll help him.
Liam's room is only two door down from his and he stands in front of the door, reading to knock, when he hears two voices in the inside.
"He's sad," Voice one says. It's Niall.
"I would've been too," Voice two replies. Liam.
He wonders who they're talking about. Sneakily, he presses his ears to the door and maybe he's not that sneaky because his literally standing in the hallway like a little kid but-
"It's not fair," Niall sounds frustrated. Harry hears something fall onto the ground before Niall continuous, "Doesn't fate want them together?"
Harry hears a sigh. Then. "I think fate wants them together, I just think certain people don't."
He's confused. Who are they talking about?
"What do you mean mate?" Looks as if Niall is just as confused as he is. He's glad he's not the only one.
"Niall, Louis looks at Harry like he's the universe. Do you really think he would've left him willingly?" Liam sounds sad and-
Oh. Okay. So they're talking about Louis and Harry. No big deal. Harry presses closer to the door.
"No..." Niall sounds uncertain. "Then why did he?"
"I'm telling you this in confident, so don't go blurting it out to every person wanting to listen, okay?" It's silent, Harry thinks Niall nods, and then Liam continues, "Johnson threatened Louis with Harry's career. He told Louis that if he doesn't leave the tour he will make sure that Harry will never work in the music industry ever again."
Niall gasps but Harry can't even focus on that.
He thinks back to the morning when everything went to hell, Louis hanging up the phone, saying he understands.
Louis leaving Harry after telling Harry he loves him.
And it makes sense. Fucking Johnson.
Harry doesn't know why he didn't think of this sooner. Of course, of fucking course, it was that bastard Johnson.
Louis loves Harry. Louis really fucking loves Harry. So much that he hurt himself for Harry's career.
Harry fist his hand. He's sure he's red in the face. Johnson wants to play games?
Harry can play them better.
He backs away from the door, making his way over to his room.
Once inside, he quickly throws on some clothes, pulls a was of cash from his wallet and retrieves his passport.
He leaves a note on his bed, saying 'sorry'
But he's not even fucking sorry for leaving just like that to go to London.
Johnson has been doing this from the start and Harry's fucking done.
He's the one in control, and he's going to show Johnson that.
Am I evil for leaving you with this?
My favorite line in this entire fic is: "He wants to give himself to the wind so that it can take him to a place where blue isn't the only color and Louis isn't his only lifeline."
What's yours? :)
Anyway, next chapter is Friday:)
Comments and kudos are appreciated over here
Chapter 12: t w e l v e
Your comments are always so nice xx
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
I'd burn it down, I'd light it up
For you, I'd risk it all
I'd rather crash, I'd rather crawl
Than never have your love at all
With only bricks to break my fall
For you, I'd risk it all
London is dark and wet when Harry finally arrives. Raindrops racing each other to the ground, seeing which one can reach it first.
It reflects Harry's mood perfectly.
It's only 23:45 PM when he steps out of Heathrow airport, for once not being surrounded by hundreds of paparazzi and fans. He cherishes it very much.
He follows the road down the sidewalk, hailing for a cab. When one stops, he climbs in. He mumbles his address to the driver without looking up at him.
"Hey," The driver speaks up after 10 minutes of silence. When their eyes meet in the rear view mirror, the driver's brown eyes scan over him. "Aren't you in that band?"
"I am," Harry answers, boredom lacing his tone. He doesn't want to talk about the band at the moment, he only wants to get a good night's rest then face Johnson. "You want an autograph?"
The driver- Harry should probably ask his name, can't really call him the driver for the rest of the ride to his house- shakes his head, hands tightening around the steering wheel. "No, mate," His eyes glances to Harry again, before settling on the busy road. "Aren't you suppose to be on tour in Malaysia or somewhere?"
Japan, Harry wants to correct, but quickly catches himself before replying. What does it matter where he's on tour anyway if Louis isn't going to be there with him. "Yeah, I am."
"Well, why aren't ya'?" The driver's - even in Harry's head it starts to sound weird calling him that. He'll call him the man. Driver man? Driving man? Yeah, that will work.- eyes look at him as if he's judging him. He doesn't even try to hide it.
"Just," Harry doesn't really know how to explain it. I'm just going to show my manipulator who's the boss? I'm just gonna get the one back? I'm just taking control of my life? All are good choices. "Have some business to attend to." He settles on. That'll work.
"That's not very professional of you," Driving man says, eyes narrowed at the road and lips pressed together tightly. He doesn't seem to like Harry- which, okay. "Leaving the tour just like that."
I'd leave anything for Louis, Harry thinks. He can't say that, though, because Driving man looks like somebody who would sell the press a story about him encountering Harry. Those articles that come out of it are always twisted, in a way. So all that he can do is narrow his eyes at the back of Driving man's head. "Well," Even to his own ears his voice sounds far away and cold. "This business is very important."
Driving man hums, eyes dancing on the busy road, watching as the cars flies by them. It's not silent for even three minutes before his voice fills the car again, "What kind of important business?"
Harry wants to reply with something sarcastic like, I'm having my prostate removed, but Driving man will probably take him seriously and wouldn't he just love the money he'd make off of that story. Harry himself admits that it would actually be an article worth reading. Even he would read it. "I have to pick out new carpets for my house," He can't help but smile, his 'very important business' sounding stupid to his own ears. "My house designer says he needs my personal opinion on it and therefor he needs to see me the flesh."
Driving man snorts and shakes his head in a disapproving manner. "Must be nice to be a popstar," He mumbles, not really that quietly. Harry doesn't even think he wanted to quiet. Whatever, doesn't really matter anyway.
Harry looks out the window, ignoring the judging look Driving man is sending him, he looks out into the dark night sky. London's night lights are looking bright and illuminating the roads perfectly.
He immediately thinks of Louis' eyes. How they're bright when he's with Harry. How blue they seem when they scan over him when they're alone. How they shine when Harry does something that makes Louis laugh.
How they seem to hold all the love Harry never really had.
He shakes his head to himself. He'll be reunited with Louis soon. He has to.
It's a little after 1:00 AM when they pull up to Harry's huge house. He steps out of the can, giving Driving man a half-arsed thank you and his money( no tip, ha.).
When he steps foot into the house, he can't help but notice that it's exactly how he left it almost four months ago. Dark and empty.
He can't help but think back to when he and Louis went on their adventure. He thinks of the conversation that took place between them of a house and a home and the stars being home for some people.
The stars were home whenever he was in London because this house never really felt like a home, he thinks as he walks over to his bedroom, switching the light on.
It's white and clean and perfect but Harry doesn't really care. He settles into bed with the same clothes on, pulling the covers over his body and laying his head on the pillow with a smile.
Tomorrow, he thinks.
He stands in front of Modest! Headquarters, looking up at the building with nothing but great interest. The building has never really interested him at all, but now he can't help but feel intimidated by every floor of it. All twenty-four of them.
People walk past him in a hurry, trying to get to their destination on time. Harry wishes he was one of then at the moment.
He knows he shouldn't be afraid, knows that this will either break or make his future with Louis. But he can't help the tiny bubble of nervousness that's settled in his stomach. Johnson has literally controlled his life since he was nothing but a young, naïve sixteen-year old boy, making him afraid of him, and now he has to face him that man.
He didn't really prepare for this at all, his car ride was spent listening to the playlist Louis had created for him a few weeks back. It had helped him relax.
Now, though, the sun may be a bit too blinding as he looks up at the building, making him sweat a bit too much.
With a deep breath and shaky legs, he steps forward into the revolving doors. Inside, people are rushing around like their life depends on it. It kind of is.
Harry makes his way over to the elevators, stepping into the middle one. He presses the round button with the number '24' on it.
The ride's long, but to Harry it feels like it goes by in seconds. Before the doors open for the twenty-fourth floor, Harry presses his lips into a thin line and nods to himself. He can do this. He can beat Johnson.
He can get Louis back.
Amanda, Mr. Johnson's pretty secretary, looks up to him from where she's on the phone with someone. "Please hold on for a second," She says into the phone while holding eye contact with Harry. She presses her hand over the speaker part and stands up. "Mr. Styles, what are you-"
Harry cuts her off, quite rudely if he say so himself. "Is Johnson here?"
Amanda glances to the closed door behind her before looking back at him. Her green eyes holds what looks like fear. "He is," She says, shakily. "But he's currently in a meeting with someone."
Harry moves forward, stepping past her. "I don't care," He replies, maybe a bit too cold with her. She doesn't deserve it. But he has to appear not afraid now, so. Once in front of the door he looks back at her, her eyes are wide and her auburn hair's falling loosely onto her shoulders. "I'm going in."
He puts his hand on the door handle, looking at the inscription engraved onto it.
M. E. Johnson.
He opens the door without thought. Amanda doesn't try to stop him and he's thankful for that.
The talking immediately stops when he enters the room. He looks at Johnson, who looks at him with an eyebrow raised, and then to the person on the opposite seat.
It's a boy, about eighteen or nineteen, who looks fresh faced and happy with white teeth and blonde hair. The media would absolutely adore him.
He eyes the boy up and down, crosses his arms and hallows his left cheek. "Get out," He spits, venom clear in his voice. "Now."
The boy's eyes flicker between him and Johnson, mouth slightly ajar. "I-I'm sorry?" He stutters, shocked.
"You heard me," Harry narrows his eyes. "I said get out."
"Listen," Blondie stands up from his chair, his full height of 5'10 making him seem slightly more intimidating than anything else. "You can't just come in here and talk to-"
"Mr. Strauss," Johnson also stands up from his chair, body dressed sharply in a dark suit. Harry shudders. "Mr. Styles and I have serious business to attend to," His eyes scan over Harry's hard glare. "If you'll please excuse us."
Blondie looks at Johnson before nodding, then starts to walk out the door, when he passes Harry, he makes sure he dumps their shoulders. Harry can't help but roll his eyes.
When the door closes with a 'click' behind them, Johnson turns to Harry, fake smile gracing his features. "Ah, Mr. Styles," He walks from behind the table, moving gracefully until he's only five feet away from Harry. He picks out a pen from his penholder and inspects it like it's the most interesting in the world. "Aren't you suppose to be in Japan?"
Harry's eyes follow the movements of the pen as Johnson moves it up and down. "I need to talk to you."
"Okay," Johnson puts the pen down on the wood table, looking up and meeting Harry's eyes. "Take a seat." He gestures to the seat that Blondie had previously occupied. When Harry doesn't even attempt to move, Johnson shrugs and maneuvers his way behind the table, sitting down in his seat again. "Suit yourself," He interlaces his fingers together and looks at Harry with a small, wicked smirk. "Now, what is it that we need to discuss so immediately?"
"Cut the crap, Johnson," Harry spits at him. "You know why I'm here."
With a tilt of his head, Johnson raises an eyebrows. It look like he's trying to make himself look as innocent as possible. "I don't think I quite follow what you're trying to imply, Mr. Styles?"
Harry moves forward until hems standing in front of the desk. He places his hands on the hard wood. Johnson looks up at him, smirk still present. "I'm talking about you fucking threatening Louis with my career!" His voice sounds hard and firm and he can't help but feel a bit proud of himself. He's never talked to Johnson like that
"Now, now, Mr. Styles, no need for such foul language," He stands up and places his right hand over the middle button of his blazer. "Let's discuss this like the mature adults we both are."
A snort escapes Harry. He straightens his back and crosses his arms over his chest. "Mature adults don't threaten innocent people with other's careers."
With quick, elegant movements, Johnson moves his way over to the big glass window, back turned forwards Harry and face looking out the glass. The entire London can be seen from where he's standing. "Don't you know by know, Mr. Styles?" Harry can't see his face, but he's damn sure that Johnson is smirking. "In this industry, we have to do anything to be on top."
It feels as if the temperature just dropped fifty degrees suddenly. Johnson turns back so that he's facing Harry again, arms folded strictly behind his back. He looks like a robot. When his speaks, his voice spuds colder than ice, "And I will be damned if I let a relationship ruin everything I've worked so hard to achieve."
"Because of you there isn't even a relationship!" Harry can't help but yell, throwing his arms up in the air dramatically.
Johnson takes a few step closer to Harry, there's only a short distance between them. Johnson looks up at Harry. "Exactly."
Now there's two things that Harry can do. He can either lose his cool and freak out, which will lead to Johnson picking at his weakness and eventually winning this unannounced game they're constantly playing or he can play Johnson at his own game.
He smirks and steps back. His hair falls over his shoulders. "You know," Harry begins, walking to Johnson's desk. Once he's behind it, he takes Johnson's seat, spinning himself around and placing his elbows on the arm handles. "You've been fucking with not only me, but also the rest of the band since the very beginning."
Johnson raises an eyebrow. "Oh?"
"Indeed," Harry says, totally in control. He doesn't know why he was afraid only a few minutes ago. He totally has this in the bag. "And I'm tired of it."
"Well," Johnson takes the seat from across Harry. He is the embodiment of elegant. "Sorry to hear about your problems Mr. Styles."
"Actually, you should be sorry." Harry half smirks while looking at the man. "You see," He twirls himself again, before settling his eyes on Johnson. "I'm sick and tired of your games Johnson-" Johnson opens his mouth to in interrupt him, but Harry holds up a finger, silencing him. "Keep quiet, I'm not done talking."
He stands up from the, quite comfy, chair and walks to the widows, standing in the same position Johnson was in only a few minutes prior. "I had a meeting with my lawyers, and according to them there are quite a few loopholes in my contract." He's totally pulling this shit out of his arse. He doesn't even know where his copy of his contact is.
"You're lying," Johnson says behind him. His voice sounds firm, but Harry can hear the uncertainty in his tone. "Our lawyers are your lawyers."
Harry turns around with a smirk on his face. "Oh, dear Johnson," He says, almost too sweetly. "You don't think I haven't hired my own private lawyers, do you?" He adds a little laugh.
An eye roll is received from Johnson. "Well, what did your lawyers say?"
"According to them, after 2017, I will have no link to you or this company," Johnson looks at him with a bored expression, so Harry continues, "I can do whatever I want. I don't have to defend you or your lies. I can trash talk you. Anything I want to do bad to this company can be done after my contract ends in 2017."
If Harry didn't know Johnson better, he'd say that he's totally unaffected by this all. But, luckily, Harry does know him and can see by the twitch on his left eye and right hand that he's afraid. "What's your point, Mr. Styles?"
"My point?" Harry steps closer to the man sitting in the seat, he places his hands on both arm leanings, caging Johnson in. "My point is that I can ruin you," Harry makes eye contact with Johnson. "You like to threaten people, Johnson? Fine."
Harry straightens himself. "I will literately tell everybody how manipulative you are. How you ruin people's lives. How you don't stick up for your clients. I will tell everybody that you don't care about your clients, all you care about is the money. You will let your clients reputation be ruined as long as you get what you want. I will literally destroy you."
Wow. He feels so amazing. He feels like he finally has control. He loves the feeling.
Johnson swallows. "What do you want?"
"Louis. I want Louis," Harry looks him straight in the eyes. "And I want you to stop setting up PR relationships."
Johnson quickly nods, but Harry holds up a finger again. "I'm going to date Louis. And you'll make sure that nobody says shit about him. And stop trying to manipulate the band."
Johnson glances behind Harry, out the window, and then back at him. He nods, stiffly. "Fine."
Harry smiles and taps Johnson on the cheeks. "That's great, Johnny." He receives a snarl in return. "Oh, and you'll only call me from now on to tell me when something really important has come up, understand?"
Harry walks past Johnson to the door. When he's there, he turns back. With a wink, he adds, "Great doing business with you, Johnny."
When he's outside the door, he hears Johnson curse loudly on the other side. He can't help but smirk as he walks past Amanda, sending her a small, yet smug, wink.
"Harry?" Liam's panicked voice rings from the other side. "Where are you?"
Harry sighs, laying his head on top of the steering wheel in front of the Modest! Building. "London," He replies.
He's pretty sure he can hear a shriek on the other side. "London? What are you doing in London?"
"Don't worry, Li," Harry lifts hi head off the wheel, watching as the people move in front of his car. "I'll be back soon. I'll be back with Louis."
A sharp breath is taken. Then, "You heard me and Niall, didn't you?"
"I'm happy I did."
"Harry," Liam begins. "You weren't suppose to hear-"
"But I did," He starts his car, holding his phone up in between his shoulder and head. "And it actually helped me. We don't have to worry about Johnson anymore."
"What did you do?"
"I'll tell you when I get back," He looks in his mirror, seeing nobody and pulling away. "I just need a favor."
Harry stands in front of a huge white house, the flowers and grass freshly trimmed. The gate, which he had entered through, is making small noises in the distance. It looks kind of intimidating.
22 Marbel Street, Doncatser, Yorkshire.
This was the address Liam gave him when he asked where Louis lived. He's pretty sure Liam is wrong. Nonetheless, the nods on the hard wood, waiting for anything to happen.
A ruckus is heard inside before the door is opened, revealing a middle-aged woman with brown hair that's reaching her shoulders and blue eyes that seem familiar. With a tilt of her head, she raises an eyebrow when she sees him. "Hi?"
"Hi," He begins, nervously. He shifts from foot to foot before he looks up at her. "Does a Louis Tomlinson live here?"
She looks behind her when something drops deep within the house. A sigh escapes her lips, before she turns back to him. Her eyes sparkle with something that Harry can't quite put his finger on. "Not at the moment, no."
Disappointedly, Harry looks to the ground. It's weird, a few hours ago he felt totally in control, now he feels like nothing but a small kid. "Oh, that's okay. Thank you."
He guesses that his disappointment shows on his face, because as soon as he's done speaking, she's saying, "I know where he lives, though. I can give you his address?"
A big smile spreads across his face. He's certain he looks like a frog. "Yes, please. I'd appreciate that so much."
She looks him up and down with a strange look on her face before shrugging. "23 West Village, Wilson Street. It's a complex full of apartments."
He thanks her with a big smile. When he's about to turn around she speaks again. "Are you Harry?" He nods. She sighs with relief, closing her eyes only for a moment. "He loves you, you know."
He can't help but blush. "I know."
An empty hallway, a door with the number 23 on it, and mat in front on the door saying 'welcome'. Add that all up and you get what?
A very nervous Harry.
Sweaty palms dig into his tights as he steps from one foot to the other, making it look like he's doing some weird ass dance in front of Louis' door.
He can do this. This is why he faced Johnson. This is Louis.
He knocks. One. Two. Three times.
Maybe it wasn't such a good idea coming because he's literally been standing here a full minute and nothing's happening and maybe Louis knows it's him, that's why he doesn't-
As he's busy having an inner battle with himself, he doesn't notice the door open. When he finally does, he can't help but breathe in deeply.
There stands Louis. Legs on full display, thighs only covered by the material on Harry's jumper. His skin looks as sun kissed as ever, thin lips turning red with how he's biting at it. He's hair is a mess on top of his head. Honestly, it looks like he just woke up from a nap.
Harry hasn't seen Louis in two weeks, yet, somehow, Louis still manages to take away his without any effort.
"Harry?" Louis yawns and rubs over his left eye with a tiny sweater pawed covered hand. "Why are you doing here?"
Louis' beauty surprises Harry every time he lays eyes on him. "I," He swallows the lump in his throat. "I know what you did. To, like, protect me."
Louis sighs. Then, "Do you want to come in?"
Harry nods and then Louis steps to the side, allowing Harry to walk into the tiny yet comfortable apartment. It's surprisingly very clean and very white. The small lounge agree has white curtains coveting the windows, a white stainless couch is places in front of the big tv, with small tables on either side of it and one big one in front of it. "You can sit," Louis says from behind him. "I was just about meself some tea, do you want?"
Harry nods, taking a seat on the soft couch and watching as Louis walk into what he guesses is the kitchen. He looks around for about five minutes, appreciating the beauty of Louis' apartment(looks like everything of Louis is beautiful) before Louis comes stumbling out out the kitchen with two cups in his hands and still only wearing Harry's jumper.
"Don't drink it yet," Louis places Harry's cup of tea in front of him on the long table before taking a seat next to Harry, folding his legs under himself. Both his hands holds his own cup of tea. "It's still hot."
They don't talk for at least three minutes, before Harry can't take the silence anymore. "You love me."
A fond eye roll is received from the blue eyed beauty. "That much is obvious."
"You love me so much that you hurt yourself by protecting me." Harry looks at him, sees how he slightly tenses.
"Well," Louis says, while leaning forward and placing his own cup on the table. "I only want you happy."
"Don't you understand that you make me happy?" Harry takes Louis' hands into his own, bring it up to his lips and placing small, tender kisses on his tiny hands. Louis doesn't do anything. "Doesn't matter, I went to Johnson about my job-"
"Harry, are you crazy?" Louis nearly yells, but doesn't pull his hands away. "You can't do that! You can't choose me over your job."
Placing further kisses on his hands, Harry continues, "It wasn't a choice," He looks up. Looks into those mesmerizing blue eyes. "But if it were, I'd still pick you over and over again."
Louis doesn't say anything, only looks at his legs intently. Harry takes this opportunity to continue, "Please come back on tour?" He smiles, dimple popping out. "As my boyfriend."
This time, Louis does pull away, but he doesn't fling himself at Harry, like he inspected him to do. Instead, he folds his arms around himself, not looking at Harry.
Ha, next chapter. ;)
I'll be seeing you Wednesday.
Until then my lovelies!!
Chapter 13: t h i r t e e n
Warning, if easily triggered, please don't read!
If read, don't hate please :).
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
But now that I’m broken
Now that you know it
Caught up in a moment
Can you see inside?
'Cause I’ve got a jet black heart
And there’s a hurricane underneath it
Trying to keep us apart
I write with a poison pen
But these chemicals moving between us
Are the reason to start again
Harry doesn't understand. At all. He feels like his heart has literally just been ripped out of his chest- even when it was fixed only a few hours ago. Harry feels numb, he feels confused, he feels stupid.
His arms feel like they're pulling him towards the ground, he wants to fall and give himself up to something that isn't this heartbreaking ache.
Louis sits in front of him with his hands around his middle, eyes locked on the ground underneath him. Feet tucked in under him. He's fucking gorgeous. From what Harry can see, he has tears running down his cheeks- making them the most beautiful shade of red.
It's silent for the longest while between them, the only sound is of the wind outside the window. When Harry finally, finally, collects himself, he straightens his back and faces Louis. "What do you mean?" His voice sounds vulnerable, even to his own ears. Harry can't bring himself to care right now, though.
Blue irises looks up at him, but they don't even try to meet his eyes. It feels like a sword through Harry's chest. "I mean, I can't come back on tour with you or be your boyfriend."
Even hearing it a second time, it still fucking kills Harry. He swallows the lump in his throat, and his cheeks suddenly feels wet. Is he crying? He wipes away the wetness on his left cheek, and yeah- he's definitely crying.
Should he feel angry? Should he feel offended? Should he feel betrayed? He should a lot of things, but the only thing that his mind can settle on is hurt. So, so hurt.
"But why?" Harry asks, in such a small voice that it can be mistaken for a child of three years old.
Suddenly, Louis flies up from the couch, startling Harry. He rushes into the room he had previously emerged from- the kitchen. Harry stands up and follows him, obviously. He needs to know why Louis told him no.
He finds Louis bend over the counter, both hands griping tightly on the edges of the hard wood of the counter. His face looks pale, and his eyes are filled with tears. Louis has looked small a lot of times, but this time honestly takes the cake.
"Lou?" Harry steps closer to him, but not too close. He doesn't want to keep his distance from the (his?) boy, but he gets a feeling that is what Louis needs at the moment. "Why don't you want to be with me? Did I do something wrong?"
Louis shakes his head and breathes in heavily. He straightens his back, and reaches up to the cupboard, retrieving a glass and filling it up with water. He's stalling.
With a loud 'clack' Louis sits the, now empty, glass on the counter, looking at Harry, but not really looking at Harry. He isn't crying. "You've never done anything wrong."
Harry frowns, crossing his arms in front of his chest. "Then why don't you want to be with me?"
A sigh escapes Louis. With eyes closed, he breathes in and out before replying, "It's not you. It's me."
If Louis really didn't want to be with Harry he could have at least told him the real reason, not make up most overused excuse in all of history. At least the real reason would have been easier on his heart. Probably not. But still. Harry appreciates honesty.
Before Harry can even reply, Louis walks up to him and holds his left hand out to Harry. He takes it immediately, not even feeling ashamed that he's so willing to follow Louis everywhere, anytime.
Louis leads him down the photo-less hallway, into what seems to be his room. It's averaged sized, with a bed with white cover over it, pressed against the wall opposite the window. The room is surprisingly very clean, considering who currently is living in it. The light streaming through the window makes the room slightly less dark than it actually is.
Louis' tiny hand pulls away from Harry's and he misses the soft skin against his own instantaneously. He walks up to the bed and climbs into it, back resting against the headboard of the bed. He motions Harry over, and despite not having a very good feeling of what's to follow, Harry walks towards him. He climbs into the bed, settling himself between the 'v' of Louis' legs. The blue eyed beauty's hands immediately reaches up to Harry's curls, starting to massage his scalp.
It's like a tradition for them. Harry doesn't even try to bite back his smile.
Louis' shaky fingers are pressing hard into Harry's scalp, and when he speaks, his voice sounds just as shaky as his fingers feels, "I meant it when I said that it's me who's the problem, Haz."
Of course, Harry wants to tell him that it isn't. Louis isn't the problem, never has been and never will be. But he can't, because Louis shhes him. "I," He takes a very deep breath, looking up and eyes locking on the ceiling. "I love you. And...I trust you."
In that moment, all that Harry can feel is joy. Joy that Louis trusts him. Joy that Louis loves him.
"And, I'm going to tell you what happened to me," Louis continues, right hand reaching up and wiping a tear off his cheek. "And I will understand if you're going to leave me after this. Okay? Just know that I won't blame you."
Harry frowns. He will never leave Louis. Ever. "Okay," He says, eyes locked on Louis' ceiling.
"Just don't interrupt me okay?" At Harry's nod, Louis continues, "It happened two months before the tour started..."
It somehow start how everything else does.
With the rain.
Louis had started working in Doncaster's biggest club as a bartender for the Summer, before his job as an English teacher will take off directly after the Summer, making him also officially start his life as an adult. Sure, the job at the club was fun and he made money, but it was petty cash. He couldn't wait for the end of Summer.
He's at the club, working until closing time with Dan, a buff eighteen year old, happy-faced, fresh out of sixth form. It's one of the quieter nights- of course, they're still busy, just not that busy. Louis actually likes this more, because that means he doesn't have to rush around to serve rude costumes and be yelled at if he accidentally served them the wrong drink.
Louis thinks the rain has something to do with it not being that busy. Who would want to go out to a club and get soaking wet instead of sitting home with a hot cuppa and having a nice cuddle. Louis knows he would pick the latter if he had a choice himself( his pillow is always a nice cuddle buddy, so warm and fluffy and soft). But he doesn't. So.
Instead, he stands behind the counter of the bar with a wet cloth in one hand and a beer glass in the other, drying the glass. The barstools are all currently occupied, except one- the dark one at the end of the bar. Nobody wants to sit there because it usually makes them seem like a loser who's only at the club to spy on the other people.
Dan comes from the back room, a crate full of Castle Lager beers in his hands. It looks like he's struggling to carry it, even with his large body built. Louis's kind of glad that he didn't have to do it, because there's no way that he would've even lifted it. He'll never admit that to anyway, though.
"Having some trouble?" Louis asks, bending down a bit to place the glass that he was drying with the other dry ones under the counter. He grabs another wet one out of the crate that they're in, starting to dry it.
Dan sends him a glare, lifting the beers up to the counter and, quite literally, dropping them. Once it's out of his hands, he bends down, placing this hands on his knees and breathing in heavily. "Piss off, Lou. Just be glad that you don't have to do it."
He puts the, now dry, glass between the others and grabs another wet one. There's not much left anymore, only four ones in the crate and the one in his hands.
This was their deal- Louis would clean and dry the glasses while Dan would fetch the alcohol from the back room. Poor Dan hadn't known how heavy all the liquor was. Of course, Louis can be to blame for that. He'd somehow manipulating the poor into thinking the alcohol-fetching was was easier. But, oh well.
"Oh you poor, big, baby," Louis rolls his eyes, quite fondly. He'll never admit it to anyone, but he's grown quite fond of Dan. He reminds him of himself, somehow. Full of ambition and loving life. "Want me to massage your back when we're done?"
A snort is received from the younger lad. His black hair falls to his shoulders as he turns his head towards Louis, a smirk on his face. "You would just love that, wouldn't you?"
Now, Louis's never ever tried to hide his sexuality. He's gay. Always has been. Always will be. Hell, the first time he kissed a girl he started crying. He's always been open about it. As soon as he met someone and it it seemed that they were going to be friends he told them. So, naturally, he had told Dan after five days of meeting him. Dan had taken it really well, even joking with Louis about it. Teasing him and even pointing out potentially hot hook-ups. Not that Louis's ever hooked up with anyone in the club. Please, he's got ethics.
Louis raises his left eyebrow, reaching for the second last glass. "What are you trying to imply, Daniel?"
"What I'm saying is," Dan turns his body sideways, now facing Louis fully. He crosses his arms over his chest and rest his hip on the counter. "That you're one of the biggest cocksluts I know."
Okay, so maybe Louis does flirt with the potentially hot hook-ups. But that's only because if he looks up at then coyly through his eyelashes and whisper a few sweet words into their ears, they tip really, really well.
"Don't worry about me being a cockslut for you, Daniel," Louis places the last glass between the other dry ones and throws his cloth over his shoulder. He looks at Dan's crotch area, a too sweet smile appearing on his face. "My eyes are set on something much bigger than that."
With a fond eye roll and shake of his head, Dan walks over to Louis and taps him lightly on the arse. "Only you, Louis."
Thunder outside the club suddenly strikes and Louis only jumps slightly.
He puts his hands over his beating heart, trying to calm it down.
A man in a black coat walks into the doors of the club, a black fedora placed on hi head. It makes him look quite mysterious. It somehow doesn't surprise Louis when the man scans the bar, eyes landing on the chair in the corner and moving towards it.
It seems like the entire club watches as the man moves, everybody standing frozen. Everybody's intrigued. Or scared, maybe.
Louis turns his face away from the man takings seat. Somebody nudges this hip and when he turns he sees Dan, looking skeptical. "You gonna serve him?"
Louis gulps, swallowing the lump forming in this throat from just looking at the man. "Why should I? Don't you want to? He looks like quite the generous tipper."
"Oh, no," Dan shakes his head frantically, pursing his lips as he looks between where Louis stands and the man. "Not tricking me again." A middle-aged man behind Louis signals for a refill of their glass and Dan walks over to the him, taking the glass and refilling it. When he's done, he walks on Louis who's still standing on his spot like a statue. "Why don't you go serve him? Like you said, he looks like quite the generous tipper."
Louis rolls his eyes and huffs, turning his head to the side to face Dan. "Fine," He breathes out and straightens himself, putting on a big smile. "But when I walk out with enough money tonight to buy meself a new phone, don't come crying on my shoulders."
He walks over to the corner until he's in front of mystery man, a big smile on his face. He leans forward on the counter, trying to ease the ache in his back. Standing on his feet for six hours a day has really messed up his back.
When the man looks up at him, his smiles brightens. He doesn't know why, he can't even see the man's face. "Can I get you anything?"
From what he can see, the man'a eyes scan over him, before his turns his head slightly to the side, observing the people in the club. "Just a water."
Louis has to literally hold himself back from scoffing. He absolutely hates when people orders water. Honestly, if they wanted water they could have stayed at their home and get water there. Nonetheless, he nods, biting his bottom lip. "Coming right up."
He gets a big glass from under the counter, going to the tap and turning it on. When the glass is full, he walks over to mystery guy and places the glass directly in front of him. "There ya' go."
"Thank you," Mystery guy doesn't even look at him, eyes covered buy his black fedora. He sends Louis the vibe of creepy. He has to refrain himself from shuddering.
"Anything else?" He asks, looking over at Daniel, who's looking back at him with a smug expression. Louis can't help but roll his eyes. Mystery guy shakes his head and Louis nods, turning back and walking over to Dan. When he walks past him, Dan looks like he wants to say something. "Not a word," Louis mumbles, pushing past Dan hurriedly.
The night goes on like that- Busy, but not busy. He serves customers like he's supposed to and he doesn't even get yelled at when he accidentally gives a pretty young girl with curly brown her a wrong cocktail, only a half smile and nod. He makes over £50 in tips, and all in all, the night goes pretty well.
When it's 1:46 AM, the only people still in the club is Louis, Dan, Mystery man and a DJ- who has given up on playing tracks himself.
Louis walks over to where Dan is standing, laying his head on his chest when he's in front of him. He despises being so short, but it comes in handy when he needs a pillow and taller people are there to offer their chests. "'M tired," He mumbles into Dan's chest, closing his eyes only for a moment.
A long yawn. Then, "Same."
"I'll lock up tonight," Louis pulls away from the eighteen year old, standing on his tippy toes and ruffling his hair a bit, knowing how much Dan hates it when he does that.
Dan swats his hand away, trying to come off as annoyed. It doesn't work. "You don't have to do that, Lou, I'll help."
Louis pokes a skinny finger in the hardness of Dan's abs, repeating the action when he sees that Dan doesn't react to it. "Don't be silly, you're a tiny baby who still needs a lot of hours of sleep." He smiles up at Dan, the sharp edges of his teeth sticking out. "I'll lock up, go home Daniel."
Dan sends him a grateful smile, squeezing his shoulders tightly. He goes to the back to get his bag, and when he's nearly out the door he yells out a loud, "Bye Louis! See you tomorrow!"
Louis can only shake his head at the boy. He look over at Mystery man, who has over the course of the night only bought one Castle Larger beer, he's sitting with his shoulders hunched, head in his hands. He looks tired. "You okay, Sir?" He asks, retrieving the cloth from his shoulder and starting to wipe the counter in front of him. It's not even dirty- he just wants to appear busy.
Mystery man nods, lifting his head from his hands. Louis can't still see his face. "Just tired," He mumbles in a deep, sleepy voice.
"Well," Louis looks at him, tilting his head to the side. He wants to figure Mystery man out. "I don't want to come off as rude or anything, but we'll be closing soon..."
Mystery man nods again, from what Louis can see a smirk appears on his face. He has to stop himself from cringing. "Of course," He stands up, pulling out his wallet from inside his coat. He pulls out £20 and throws it on the table. "Keep the change," He mumbles, titling his fedora with his hand and walking out the door without even looking back at Louis.
Louis shakes his head to himself, trying to get his head clear. The DJ leaves a few minutes after that, leaving him alone in the club. He quickly tidies up the most part of the club. When he's done, he gets his bag from the back, getting the keys out of it and shuts the lights off at the front door. He locks the door when he's outside, and begins his walk to his flat.
It's still raining, a cold wind sweeping through the quiet, dark streets of Doncaster. Louis likes the rain, loves feeling the tiny water drops on his skin. Relishes in the way it can change something so quickly.
He doesn't have a car, and his flat isn't very far from the club- about fifteen minutes or so. He's about eight minutes away from his flat when he hears it.
He stops, turning around and looks down into the long, silent street. The streetlight is the only indication that there's someone living in the small town. It looks completely normal, and Louis shakes his head to himself, obviously being a bit paranoid. It's not the first time he's been in this situation.
With heavy feet, he starts walking again, listening closely if there is another pair of feet following him. He doesn't hear anything for about a minute, but then there's footsteps again.
He freezes again, slowly turning around in the street. It looks as if nothing is wrong, but Louis somehow knows. He knows that something is seriously wrong. He quickly starts walking, speeding up a bit when he hears the steps again.
He's breathing in heavily now, and his arms are shaking. His legs feels like jelly, and he prays that nothing will happen in the next few minutes. A sigh of relief escapes his mouth as he turns into his street.
The moment isn't long lived though, because suddenly there's a hand tightly gripping at Louis' bicep. He opens his mouth to scream, but just as he's about the to let a sound out, there's a large hand covering his mouth.
He's being pulled into an alley, the fucking alley that's so close to his flat. He wants to cry.
In an instant, there's a large hand around his neck, slamming his body into the concrete wall of the tiny drug store that he knows so well. The hand around his neck tightens and he feels like he can't breathe in. He's only realizing now that he's feet aren't even touching the ground.
"Listen here you fucking whore," The deep voice speaks. And. Louis knows that voice. He fucking knows that voice. It's Mystery guy. Mystery guy in a black goat. Mystery guy in a fedora. Mystery guy who hasn't shown his face all night. Louis starts trying to kick his feet, but quickly regrets it as his body is being pulled away from the wall and then harshly being slammed into it again. "I said fucking listen!"
Regretfully, Louis freezes. Eyes growing wide and staring into nothing but darkness. Literally and figuratively. "You and I are going to have some fun, yeah pretty boy?"
Louis honestly feels disgusted. He wants to throw up. Even though he can't see the man's face, he knows that he's smirking.
"Please don't," He chokes out, inhale deeply, trying to breathe in. "Please, I'll give you money."
A brutal laugh escapes his attacker's lips before his fingers curl tighter around the softness of Louis' neck. "Money?" He question, obviously very amused. "You think I want money?" Now his fingers are loosening, only a bit. But that's all that Louis needs. He starts kicking again, trying to kick the man anywhere that's possible. It seems like he gets it right, because pretty soon the man is hissing out 'fucking bitch' and dropping Louis completely.
Not wasting anytime, Louis quickly stands up and starts running. He doesn't make it very strong before two strong arms are wrapping around him. He can't help but scream at the top of his lungs, kicking back at the man's legs. "Let me go!"
Before he can even find himself, hens being thrown to the concrete, it's brutally sore. The man quickly climbs on top of him, and when Louis starts squirming, he feels a sting in his cheek. It brings tears to his eyes. He knows that in the morning there will be a huge bruise. "Shut the fuck up whore! Or your pretty face won't be so pretty anymore." The man growls in Louis' ear. He puts a hand over Louis' mouth again, blocking out the sobs coming from him.
Louis isn't stupid. He knows what's going to happen, and he can't help but silently cry harder when he's jean's zip is being unzipped.
"Now, now," The man smirks up evilly at him. "Let's have our fun, shall we?"
Louis stops talking, pulling his knees to his chest and sobbing into his lap. Louis had moved from Louis' legs to sit in front of him during his story.
Harry can't help but silently cry as well. Everything makes sense now. Every fucking thing makes sense now. Louis not wanting to be touched. Louis not trusting people. Louis crying at night when he thinks he's alone. Everything makes sense and Harry feels so angry. So fucking angry.
How could somebody do that to Louis? How could somebody want to ruin somebody so perfect? Why did it have to happen to Louis of all people?
Harry wants to murder that man. He wants to fucking kill him. He doesn't understand why he did that to Louis. Oh, how Harry wishes that he was there that night. He would've done anything in his power to protect his boy. Anything.
Nausea settles in his stomach. He can't believe that the world is so cruel. He can't believe people will do that to somebody who didn't do fuck all to deserve it.
Sniffles rips Harry out of his thoughts and he looks over at Louis, who's wiping his tears away on his knees. "I'm sorry," He begins. "It's just the first time I've told the story and I guess-"
"Hey, Louis," Harry moves closer to Louis, pulling him into his arms. He doesn't know if it's the best thing at the moment, but he jut wants to comfort His boy. "Stop. It's okay. You don't have to continue."
Louis nods, hand resting on Harry's chest. "I'm sorry," And now he's crying again. Thee times Louis has broken Harry's heart, and every time it just gets worse. "I'm sorry."
Harry's always considered Louis strong. Louis's always come off as strong. He's always been strong for Harry, and now it's Harry's turn to be strong for Louis. He sniffs before taking Louis' face into his hands, thumb wiping away his tears. "You have nothing to be sorry about. You did nothing wrong."
Louis' eyes looks down to the covers , eyes still wet. "Are you angry at me?"
"No!" Harry almost screams. Or maybe he does scream. He doesn't know. "No," He says, softly this time, caressing Louis' cheek with his thumb. "I'm not angry at you, and I will never be angry at you. I'm angry at that fucking bastard."
"It's inevitable, Harry." Louis sighs. "It happens to children and it happens to adults and it happened to me," His voice sounds like he's going to cry again, so Harry pulls him into his chest, hand rubbing circles on his back. "But...I just. I just wish I knew who it was. I just want to ask him if he hates me. If that's the reason that he did it to me..." Louis trails off, crying again.
Harry does the only thing he can do. He holds him. He holds him like Louis is the only person in the world. Maybe he is. After a while Louis speaks again, "After he was done...with, it...He pulled up his pants and told me that he already tipped me at the bar. And the he left. Without looking back, or even seeing if I was okay."
It feels like Harry's blood is on fire. He's sure he's shaking out of anger.
"I'm sorry," Louis sobs again, hiding his face in Harry's chest.
It kills Harry seeing Louis so broken. He only rocks them back and forward, trying to calm down his boy a bit.
When Louis's calmed down a bit, he looks into Harry's eyes for the first time in what feels like forever. He looks scared. "Are you going to leave me?"
It hurts Harry so much that Louis thinks he would leave him because of this. If anything, he wants Louis to be more than ever now. He wants to protect Louis more than ever now. "I will never, ever leave you. Why do you think that?"
"Because I'm dirty and used," Louis sniffs. He's not crying now anymore.
"Hey," Harry places a small, tender kiss on Louis' temple, before pulling away. "You're still an angel. You might have bruised wings, but you're still an angel, nonetheless."
Louis nods, weakly. A yawn escapes him and he quickly pulls away. "Can we talk tomorrow again? I'm tired."
"You want me to sleep on the couch?" Harry questions, uncertain. He doesn't want to make Louis uncomfortable.
It's silent for about thirty seconds. Then, "I meant it when I said your arms is the only place where I feel safe."
A smile settles on his lips. "Okay."
When the lights are turned off and Louis is letting out soft little snores, Harry still lies awake with his boy on his arms.
He swears that he'll protect him from now on at all cost. He swears that Louis will never be hurt again. Not when he's with Harry.
Right now though, he can only tighten his arms around Louis' waist, pulling him closer to his chest and kissing the back of his head.
He will never ever leave Louis.
im so fucking sorry???
almost cried while writing it.
If you have questions, don't be afraid to ask:)
Next chapter is Monday
Chapter 14: f o u r t e e n
This is simply just very fluffy but an important note at the end! Please read.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
I need your love to guide me back home
When I'm with you, I'm never alone
I need to feel you feel you tonight
I need to tell you that it's alright
We'll never be as young as we are now
It's time to leave this old black and white town
Let's seize the day
Let's run away
Don't let the colors fade to grey
We'll never be as young as we are now
As young as we are now
Harry stirs awake to life with the feeling of the sun shining down on his back and an empty, cold bed.
And okay, maybe he shouldn't immediately jolt up from the warm heat that the duvet is providing him, but considering what happened last time Harry woke up alone in a bed Louis was suppose to be in with him, he can't help it. So.
The room is empty, he notices as he rubs his eyes, wiping away all traces of tiredness. The only sign of life in the room is Harry, who looks around kind of confusedly. Scared, too. Louis wouldn't leave him again, right? Right.
He's absolutely sure about that. Not after last night. Not after Louis trusted him(and only him) by telling Harry his most horrid memory. Or in Louis' eyes, flaw, maybe. It's not a flaw to Harry, though. Nothing about Louis can, and ever will, be a flaw to Harry.
He shakes his head, hair falling onto his shoulders, and lifts the warm duvet off his body. Lazily, he stretches out his limbs and yawns. He can actually get used to this- Waking up in a bed he and Louis shared.
Of course, it has happened quite the number of times before yesterday, too. But this time it feels different. The other times it happened in different hotels, a lot of hotels. It wasn't something constant. It wasn't something that Harry could believe was a forever sort of thing. This time, he can picture it as a constant thing, though. Because even if it's not a home(?) it's still a house. Louis' house.
He throws his legs over the side of the bed, looking around it once more just to make sure louis isn't hiding from him. He's not. With jean clad legs(boy, Harry may love jeans but sleeping in them is not comfortable, like, at all) he makes his way over to the closed door of the bedroom.
Once he opens the door of the room and looks out into the small hallway, he's greeted with an unsettling silence. "Lou?" He calls out, voice maybe a bit too soft. He feels like if he were to be any louder, he'd be breaking an unspoken rule of loudness not being allowed in this lonely, yet lived in, flat.
Again, he's met with nothing but silence and maybe he should kind of be scared, but he isn't. Instead, he feels excitement starting to bubble up in his abdomen. Reason for this is unknown.
With graceful(probably the most graceful he's ever been in his entire life, ever)movements, he starts making his way down the hallway and into the kitchen, which turns out to be empty, and then into the living room. And-
He's met with the sight of Louis, sitting in the windowsill with one leg bent at the knee, tiny foot almost touching the bottom part of the window, and the other legs hanging loosing, daintily, against the cold wall. He's in a pair of boxers, maybe a bit too big, and Harry's jumper. His tiny hands are folded around a cup of tea(there's no way in hell that Louis would drink anything but tea) with steam flowing up into the invisible air.
Louis' head is turned towards the outside of the window, observing what Harry guesses is the people outside it, moving frantically or slowly or maybe just being there for him to watch. He looks like a dream, or, maybe, a beautiful reality.
He looks like Harry's.
Fuck, Harry is absolutely sure he can get used to this. He's sure that if this is his future, he will never grow tired of it.
Harry leans against the doorframe, luckily there's no door, and crosses his arms in front of his chest. "Morning," Again, his voice sounds too soft, and Harry wonders for a moment if Louis even heard him. But then Louis slowly turns his head, eyes lighting up and a small, soft smile on his beautiful face as he sees Harry.
He brings the cup up to his lips, taking a small sip, eyes still focused on nothing but Harry, before he lowers the cup into his lap. "Morning, love."
Harry walks toward the couch, which is only a few meters(two maybe) away from where Louis is sat, and takes the seat nearest the window. He wiggles around a bit, trying to find a comfortable position to sit in before he looks at his boy again. "Sleep well?"
"Mmm," Louis hums, his gaze back on the outside world again. His attention on Harry, and only Harry. "What about you, Sleeping Beauty?" There's a hint of amusement in his voice, indicating that either he's very happy or just very fond of Harry. Which, Harry would be happy if both were to be true.
With an eye roll, Harry clicks his tongue and replies, "Sleeping Beauty? Baby, please," He flicks his hair over his shoulder dramatically, much like a diva would. "I prefer Rapunzel."
A giggle escapes Louis lips and he slaps one sweater-pawed hand over it, drying to quiet down his cute little laugh. "You're so stupid."
Harry sticks his tongue out at the beauty before turning his head to the other side, glaring at the blank wall, and crossing his arms firmly in front of his chest. Much like a child would.
He's not going to press Louis about last night. He's afraid that if he does he'll make Louis uncomfortable, and that's the last thing he wants. If Louis wants to continue talking about it, Harry will wait until he starts by himself.
Happily, he lifts himself from the couch and walks over to Louis, taking his head in his hands and placing a sweet, long kiss to his forehead. It feels so good, to be able to touch Louis like this again. To let his emotions linger on the softness of Louis' skin.
He pulls away, quickly kissing Louis' nose before he looks into his eyes, eyes beaming and dimple prominent. "That's a better good morning."
A small hand is placed on his chest, Louis' one hand now holding his cup of tea, before he rolls his eyes. "You can kiss me on the mouth, you know?" He places the cup next to his bare feet on the windowsill before locking both his arms around Harry's neck, pulling the man child closer to him. "I'm not fragile."
Of course he's not, Louis is one of the strongest people Harry knows. He was forced to be strong, not only for himself but for the people around him too, Harry thinks. And Harry wants Louis to know that he doesn't need to be strong around him, he doesn't need walls protecting him when Harry is around because Harry will protect him, always.
"I know you're not," He places one, two, three, kisses on Louis' temple. "But I have morning breath, so."
Louis pulls away, hand still on Harry's chest. "Thanks for saving me from that."
With a nod, Harry pulls away from Louis, and starts moving to the kitchen. Once inside, he opens the cabinets and searches for something to eat, only finding bread. There's a fruit bowl to his left with nothing but bananas in it. "Lou? You have something to eat?"
Not even seconds later Louis stumbles into the kitchen, empty cup on his right hand, confused expression on his beautiful face. "Isn't there? Could've sworn mum bought me something the day before yesterday."
"Well," Harry begins, turning around and facing Louis. "There's only bread and bananas."
Louis raises an eyebrow, walking towards the sink and placing his cup in it. When he's done, he looks at Harry. "So? Eat that."
Harry pulls a face of disgust. "That's gross."
"You're gross," Louis mocks him in a deep voice, trying to sound like Harry. It doesn't work but Harry can't help the smile blossoming on his face. His boy is truly something else.
It's nice, he decides, joking around with Louis like this. Like they don't have any care in the world. Like Louis isn't bent and Harry isn't suppose to be in another country.
Louis sighs, moving closer to Harry. "If my banana on bread is such a disgrace to you, then I'll take you to me mum. Bet she still has some pancakes left."
"Not even properly courted yet and already meeting the parents," Harry jokes, although he sees Louis tense. Right, they still need to discuss the entire relationship thing.
Louis shrinks back, not shy, not entirely comfortable either. "Right," He trails off, eyes locked on the ground. "Uhm, we should probably get ready. There's an extra toothbrush in the bathroom cabinet, and you can use my hairbrush."
He walks away, leaving behind a cursing Harry.
30 Minutes later, Louis stands by the front door, arms crosses in front of his chest and left foot tapping impatiently on the floor. He's in black skinny jeans, hugging his legs tightly and a big Adidas jacket. "Haz," He calls, fake annoyance in his voice. "Get your arse out here, I've been waiting for an eternity."
Harry comes stumbling out of the bathroom, wearing the same clothes as yesterday and tying his hair up in a bun. He walks to Louis, rolling his eyes. "You're such a drama queen."
"Whatever," Louis scoffs. "Just hurry up."
They're acting like an old married couple, Harry thinks, trying to bite back the smile on his face. He walks past Louis, opening the door and stepping outside. Louis follows, quickly locking the door and putting the key in his back pocket.
They walk in silence for awhile, and once they step outside, they're immediately hit by the breeze. Damn, inside the flat it had looked so warm, but now Harry kind of regrets not having a jumper.
Outside of the building, Harry's car is parked, not too far from the left. Immediately, Louis walks over to it.
"Lou?" Harry questions, a bit nervously. "I was wondering if we could walk?"
Louis looks at him, right eyebrow raised, smirk present. "It's quite far. At least half an hour on foot."
With a shrug, Harry walks closer to Louis. He takes his right hand into his own, thumb caressing over the skin. He brings Louis' hand up to his mouth, kissing over his knuckles. "That's fine. I like spending time with you. And nobody knows where I am, so the chances of us getting mobbed are small. And I'm pretty sure all the kids are in school."
Louis eyes him up and down, sharp teeth biting over his bottom lip before a smile breaks out on his face. He laces their fingers together, hand only shaking a bit. "If you insist."
It's really nice, walking with Louis down the street. Not being mobbed. Attention solely on his boy, and his boy alone. It's probably the most normal Harry has felt since the X-Factor.
Louis gestures wildly with his hands, pulling Harry's hand up and down as they walk past a park and he tells Harry a story about how he fell from the monkey-bars, ending with with a sprained ankle and a broken arm when he was 8.
Harry can only watch. Watch as the sun shines down on Louis' tan skin. Watch as Louis smiles happily. Watch as Louis gets more beautiful with every word leaving his mouth.
And it's so weird- because Louis is literally the most beautiful person Harry has seen(Zayn doesn't count, obviously. Because Zayn isn't a person, he's a Greek god) based on looks. But his inside...His inside is what Harry likes(?) the most. He's tough and sassy and witty. Sharp with words. Not afraid to fight for the ones he loves. But he's also soft and gentle and careful. He shines like the sun- Or, something brighter than the sun. Harry thinks Louis is better than the sun.
Suddenly, there's fingers snapping in front of his face. When he snaps out of his trance and looks to his left, he's faced with Louis, who's head is tilted slightly to the side. "I'm sorry, what were you saying?"
"I said, we're here." Louis shakes his head fondly. Harry didn't even notice that they stopped. That's what happens when you have Louis Tomlinson in your life- You get so lost in him that you somehow lose yourself, in the best way.
He looks at the house, and he can't help but sense something familiar about it. The entire walk to the door Harry tries to figure where exactly he's seen this house, and it's not until Louis knocks, quite loudly, and a woman open the door that Harry knows.
It's the same house, and same woman, from yesterday. Today, Louis' mum he guesses, eyes him cautiously up and down, before her eyes lowers and settles on their locked hands. A smile appear on her face before she's, quite literally, pulling them both into a hug.
"Lou," She breathes out when she pulls away. "Good to see you, love."
Louis rolls his eyes, hand still locked with Harry's, and smiles at her. "You saw me the day before yesterday."
"Still," She steps to the side, allowing them to enter the silent house. It's clear that there's little to no children in the house at the moment. Although, Harry can spot some toys lying around on the wood floors. "Come in, come in."
Louis steps in, pulling Harry along with him. The walls of the house are littered with pictures. From Louis to children that Harry doesn't quite recognize, but nonetheless, their features look very familiar. Obviously, it's Louis' siblings.
"Right," Louis says, snapping Harry back to reality. He pulls Harry a bit closer to his side and his hand tightens where it holds Harry's. It doesn't go unnoticed by his mum. "Mum, this is Harry and Harry this is mum."
"I know," Louis' mum says, extending her right hand so that Harry can shake it. "We've already met."
With a eyebrow raised, Louis looks between Harry and his mum, obviously wanting to know when they've met. Harry only shrugs when Louis' eyes settle on him once and for all. "Liam said you lived here when I asked him. Your mum just told me the right address." Louis nods, satisfied with the answer, and Harry pulls back his hand, smiling at Louis' mother. "It's nice to officially meet you, Mrs. Tomlinson."
"It's Mrs. Deakin, actually." She says quite harshly, eyes narrowing at him and lips pursing. Harry doesn't know what to do. Should he apologize? Run? Hide? It's not even thirty seconds later that both Louis and his mum burst out laughing, Louis quite literally clutching his stomach.
"Oh man," He pretends to wipe away a tear, little laughs still escaping him. "You should've seen your face, Haz!"
It continues for another minute, them just laughing and Harry not quite sure what to do before Louis' mum smiles at him. "Nothing personal, Harry. Just something we do. Oh, and please call me Jay."
Harry nods, smiling at her. She's really pretty, now that he's looking so close. Louis starts walking deeper into the house, into a room that Harry guesses is the dining room. It's quite messy, plates with half eaten pancakes still on them, littering most of the table. "Right, well now that introductions are done, Harry and I came for some breakfast."
Jay, from where she's standing leaning against the door frame, looks at them like they've lost their mind. "You're a bit too late, love. I just came back from dropping Dory and Ernie at daycare."
Louis shrugs, plopping down in a chair, finally letting go of Harry's hand. "Please, we're hungry."
Jay sighs. Then, "Fine. Louis, clean the table. Harry, come with me. We're gonna heat up the left over pancakes."
With a shrug from Louis, Harry follows Jay into the kitchen. When he enters, he finds her opening the microwave. He awkwardly stands to the side, not really knowing what to do.
It's not awkward. Or, at least, not much.
They're working in silence- or, mostly Jay is heating up the leftovers pancakes without talking to Harry. Until, "You make him happy."
Harry snaps his head up, looking over her. Her eyes aren't on him, instead looking at her hands. "He makes me happy."
"Good," And now she's looking at him- or, well, glaring at him. "Look, I don't know what happened with him...He refuses to tell me." Her eyes look sad now, her voice lacing with hurt. "But it's clear that he trusts you. And I just want you to know that if you hurt him, I won't hesitate to hunt you down. No matter how famous you are."
Harry takes a breath in. "I won't hurt him. I promise."
She looks skeptical. Lips pursed, eyes scanning over him. Then she nods. "Good. Because he's my baby. I can't take it seeing him hurt."
Almost carefully, Harry walks to her, placing his large hand on her shoulder. "I won't hurt him. Not now. Not ever."
When they eventually return from the kitchen, they're met with a groan. "Took ya' long enough."
"Just shut up and enjoy it," Jay smiles fondly down at him, placing the stack of pancakes on the table in front of her tiny son.
Harry catches her eye, nodding, before he takes a seat next to Louis.
Although he should be terrified, he actually quite likes Jay.
The rest of the day is spent at Louis' flat, laughing over tea at ridiculous stories of their childhood. Harry almost forgets about the tour, until he gets a text from the tour manager, telling him that he needs to fly back to Japan the next day, with it without Louis.
When Harry lies on Louis' bed later that night, he watches as Louis walks around his room, picking little things every now and then. It's more endearing than it's suppose to be.
When Louis finds something that Harry can't see, a smirk settles on his face. With the item behind his back, he moves to his bed, taking a seat at Harry's feet. "Haz," He begins rubbing small circles with his thumb over Harry's bare foot, trying to make it seem like he's innocent from whatever crime he committed. "Can I paint your toenails?"
A small, black bottle of nail paint is relieved from behind Louis' back. It's only half full and Harry wonders for a moment if Louis ever used it on himself. "Where did you even get that?"
Louis shrugs nonchalantly, already placing Harry's left foot in his lap and opening up the small bottle. "Lottie forgot it here when she came over a week ago."
Harry can only watch as Louis starts painting his big toenail, going over it with the paint two times before moving on to the next one. And suddenly, Harry thinks of something. "Lou?"
Louis hums, not looking up from where he's busy. He's already on the third toe now.
"Can you tell me the story of you and Liam?"
Surprisingly, Louis' head doesn't snap up to glare at him. However, his hand stills for a moment before he releases a breath, continuing with the work. "Not really much to tell, we met how we said we did. And then I conveniently called him a month before the tour stared, and then wha-la, I'm on tour with you lot."
"The full story, please," Harry says, eyes following Louis' movement.
When he's done with the last toe, he quickly blows over them before removing the foot from his lap and then taking the other one. "Uhm...well. I just got tired of strangers. Like, ya'know. I didn't see his face...and it killed me knowing that I could've been walking past him without knowing it. So I just...called Liam. He was the only friend I had that didn't live here. So."
For a moment, it feels like Harry can't breathe. Fuck, he's still so angry. So sad. So sorry. So...disappointed that it had to happen to Louis. But Louis doesn't want his pity, so he closes his eyes and breathes in. Then out. "Have you ever considered therapy?"
Okay, maybe it's the wrong thing to say. He said he wouldn't press Louis about this. And he isn't...right?
The only thing Louis does is shrug, eyes still on Harry's feet. "Don't need it."
And it's a clear indication that Louis doesn't want to talk about it further, so Harry just shuts up. Louis is done with painting now, blowing over all of his 10 toenails simultaneously.
When he's done, he closes the bottle and throws it somewhere on the floor, not caring if he didn't close it right. He moves up to behind Harry, wrapping his arm around Harry's waist and pressing his nose between Harry's shoulder blades. "So, you have to go back to the tour tomorrow."
Harry frowns, turning his body so that he's facing Louis. "How do you know?"
"Saw it on your phone," Louis shrugs, opening his eyes. "Gonna miss you."
Okay. Now is the time.
"Louis," Harry begins in a soft voice, caressing Louis cheeks. "Come back on tour with me? As my boyfriend."
It's the exact same question than yesterday and Harry's only afraid for a moment that Louis will say no again. The nerves are settling in his stomach and for only five seconds he can't bring himself to look at the beauty in front of him. But when he does look up, Louis has a smile on his face, pearly whites showing.
Okay, so I have a serious question to ask you...
Would you guys want a smut scene in this? I mean, I don't want to make it awkward considering Louis' past and everything.
And I'm just afraid I'll make some of you uncomfortable, so please, tell me if you want a scene like that in this.
Anyway, next chapter is Saturday and I just want to thank all of you for your support on this. It truly means the entire world :)
They don’t know about the things we do
They don’t know about the "I love you"’s
But I bet you if they only knew (they don't know)
They would just be jealous of us,
They don’t know about the up all nights
They don’t know I've waited all my life
Just to find a love that feels this right
Baby they don’t know about, they don’t know about us
The only thing that Harry wants to do when they arrive at the hotel they're staying at is go to bed with Louis. He's tired and jet lagged and fuck, flying exhausts him so much.
Instead, Louis asks him if they can go surprise visit Niall and Liam in their rooms. It's 12:16 AM and Harry really wants to say no.
But all that Louis has to do to convince him is look up at him through under his eyelashes and kiss him on his cheek before Harry caves and nods, because honestly, Louis has him so wrapped around his little finger that Harry's afraid to let go of it. He pretends to not notice the smug little smirk Louis has on his lips after that.
So they sneak into the hotel without being caught(Harry doesn't know how that's even possible, they're not very discreet) and then when they arrive in Harry's empty room, they put down their suitcases(well, Harry's one bag and Louis' three suitcases. Conveniently, Harry had to carry two of those suitcases. He's not complaining though, because the look Louis gave him when he stopped them into Harry's arms was totally worth it).
Louis takes Harry's hand into his before they exit the room, a determined look in his eyes when Harry eyes him suspiciously. "I love you."
His voice sounds so determined and his hand is squeezing Harry's so tightly- almost like he just wants to let Harry know that his love for him will be forever- and all that Harry can do is look down at the ground because, fuck. He can't say it back. He can't say it back even if he wanted to. It hurts him knowing that he's hurting his boy by not saying it back.
Instead of answering, he takes Louis' face into his hands and kisses him fully on the lips. It's literally so amazing. Louis' lips are soft- like pillows, or marshmallows. Pillow Marshmallows? Whatever. It's soft and it's everything that Harry's always wanted.
Louis is everything that Harry's always wanted without him really knowing.
When he pulls back and looks into Louis' eyes, he's met with a sparkly blue ocean. He's biting his lip, trying to bite back a smile. Harry knows he's said it so many times before already, but Louis' beauty still surprises him.
"C'mon," Louis pulls open the door, stepping outside and pulling Harry along with him. Harry quickly closes the door before it's too late.
They decide to go to Niall's room first. Once they stop outside the door, Louis pulls his hand out of Harry's, a secretive smile on his face. "Go in and tell him that I didn't want to come with you."
Harry sighs, it probably doesn't come out as annoyed as he wanted it to be. "You're still trying to prank him?"
An eye roll his received from Louis, and somehow is does look annoyed(Harry knows he isn't). "Better him than you, yeah? Just go in and do it."
Mumbling to himself, Harry opens the door, knowing full well that Niall never locks his door. The imagine that's greets him is one that scars him.
Niall, with his back turned to Harry, shaking his arse to the lyrics 'My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard' in nothing but his tiny pair of dark blue boxers. He looks like Miley Cyrus in the 'We Can't Stop' music video. And it's...it's. It's disturbing, to say the least. Harry has walked in on Niall masturbating, but this is weirder. Way weirder.
When Niall throws his arms up in the air, still twerking, Harry clears his throat. The blonde jumps up and turns around, blue eyes wide and mouth hanging open. All they do is stare at each other, both freaked out.
"This is not what it looks like," Niall says eventually, his cheeks glowing red from embarrassment. He grabs his phone from where it's laying in the bed and turns the music coming from it off.
Harry sure his cheeks are red also. "I'm not exactly sure what it's suppose to look like and I'm not going to ask, either."
A pillow is thrown in his direction, hitting him quite hard on the nose if he says so himself, and when he looks at Niall, the bastard is smirking. "You tell anyone about this and you're a deadman, Styles. You got me?"
Harry can't help but roll his eyes at Niall's attempt to sound like he's threatening Harry. Honestly, Niall is like a little ball of cotton candy. "Whatever, Dancing Queen, this won't be mentioned to anyone."
"What won't be mentioned to anyone?" Louis steps into the room, annoyed at having to wait so long outside. He comes to stand beside Harry, laughing at Niall's shocked faced.
"Louis!" Niall runs to Louis, throwing his arms around his neck and pressing his face into Louis' shoulder. Louis' face turns into one of discomfort at the contact. Harry almost asks Niall to just step back, but when he goes to tap Niall's shoulder, Louis holds up a hand, signaling for him to stop.
"Hey, Blondie," Louis pats Niall's back awkwardly, obviously still very uncomfortable with the way he's being touched by someone that's not Harry. He allows it though, afraid that Niall will think that he did something wrong if Louis pushes him away.
After nine more seconds, Harry won't admit that he counted, Niall pulls away from Louis, a big smile on his face. "You're back!"
Louis shrugs, looking tired and small but happy, nonetheless. "Thanks to Harry."
"You did this?" Niall asks, eyes scanning over Harry cautiously. At Harry's nod, Niall engulfs him in a very right hug, like they didn't just share their most awkward encounter only a few minutes ago. Niall pulls back, looking Harry in the eyes. "I can honestly kiss you right now."
A smirk settles on Harry's face at Niall's words. He crosses his arms in front of his chest, glancing to his side only to see Louis smirking too. "I don't think my boyfriend would like that very much."
Niall tilts his head to the side, confused. Until he sees how they're looking at each other. "Wait...you two-" He gestures between them, a smile starting. "-are dating?"
When both Harry and Louis nod, Niall jumps up, pumping his fist into the air- Much like the last scene in the Breakfast Club. "I fucking knew it! I knew it! I said this would happen! Didn't I say this would happen? I fucking did! I'm so fucking happy right now!" He rambles on walking around in circles. It probably should be weird- Watching your best friend freak out about you and your boyfriend...But. It isn't.
"You did say it would happen," Louis points out, wrapping his arm around Harry's waist. "Guess you have ultimate bragging rights now."
Niall falls into his bed, kind of overly dramatic if Harry would have been asked. He stares up at the ceiling like it's the stars and everything's good. "Life is fantastic."
They continue to listen to Niall go on for a couple more minutes before Louis decides that they should go greet Liam.
Liam isn't very happy when Louis hits him with a pillow in the face, waking him up.
Harry, on other hand, finds it adorable.
"Harry?" Louis blushes, looking down at the floor as they enter their room. "Can I have your jumper?"
Harry frowns, a little confused. "This one?" Louis nods as Harry tilts his head to the side. "But it's dirty?"
Louis shrugs, cheeks still red. "But it smells like you. The one I have of you doesn't have your smell anymore."
Fuck it if Harry immediately pulls off his jumper, happy for the vest he decided to wear underneath it, and gives it to Louis without a moment of hesitation. Louis goes into the bathroom to change into the jumper and when he comes back, he's only wearing the jumper and boxer sticking out underneath it. He looks so stunning, literally drowning in the size of the jumper.
Harry doesn't even try to hide the fact that he can't keep his eyes of off Louis. Fuck, his boyfriend is such beautiful specimen of a human being.
Louis is Harry's boyfriend and just even thinking about it makes him smile. Louis is his and there's nothing that can stop them from being together. It makes Harry's heart skip a beat as he watches Louis put his folded dirty clothes on the floor next to suitcase number one.
He walks over to the bed, opening the cover and climbing in under it. Once he's in a comfortable position, he looks over at Harry. "Come over here so I can have a cuddle with you?"
Smiling fondly, Harry walks to the bed. "My little big spoon."
"Oi! 'M not little!" Louis nearly yells.
"He says as he's literally swimming in my jumper." Harry climbs onto the bed, turning around so that his back is to Louis. Immediately, there's an arm around his waist.
"You know what will stand on your grave?" Louis doesn't even give him a chance to reply. "There will stand: 'Told you I'm not little, love Louis.'"
Harry scoffs. "You first have to reach my level of height before killing me."
"Styles, I will literally stab you," Louis sighs, fist curling where it's lying on Harry's stomach. "Don't test me."
"Okay, my little big spoon."
Louis doesn't stab Harry that night. Of course not.
Harry doesn't even notice that he goes to sleep in skinny jeans.
It's their last show in Tokyo and Harry's kind of sad that he missed the other two shows, but when he
looks over at Louis from where he's standing leaning against the refreshments table, the sadness immediately washes away.
He guesses that he stares at his boy for a bit too long because the next thing he knows is that Niall's standing next to him, uncapping a bottle of water. "Stop staring," He says, taking a sip and then closing the bottle afterwards. "You look like a right creep."
"I don't look like a creep if it's My Louis I'm staring at," He replies but then takes his eyes of off Louis to look at the blonde. "I think it's proper romantic." Just then he hears Louis laugh and when he turns to look, he sees Louis' head thrown backwards, laughing loudly at something that Liam said. Harry wishes Louis would laugh at his jokes like that.
"You're right," Niall says after it's silent for a moment. He has a smirk on his face when Harry turns to him. "You don't look like a creep, you look like a frog."
Harry smirks. "Whatever...Dancing Queen."
"Oi, shut up. I can dance circles around your arse," Niall's glaring at him now, lips pursed and water bottle clutched tightly in his right hand.
"Is that a challenge?" Harry raises an eyebrow, standing so that he's facing Niall.
The blonde steps close to Harry. Their faces are now three inches apart, chests touching. "Would you want it to be?"
"Are you threatening me, Dancing Queen?" Harry glares, eyes spitting fire.
"What if I am, Lover Boy?"
"Oi, what's going on here?" Louis steps in between them, pushing them apart. Once their chests aren't touching, Louis curls himself into Harry's side, head leaning on Harry's shoulder. Harry's hand immediately goes to hold his waist. "Well? Care to explain?"
Niall, from where he's standing still glaring at Harry, eyes look over at him before they return to Harry's, meeting his glare with an even colder one. "Your stupid frog of a boyfriend thinking he can make fun of me amazin' dancing skills."
"Amazing?" Harry snorts, hand tightening around Louis' waist. "More like disastrous."
"Oh, it's fuckin' on," Niall steps close again, only to be stopped by Louis' hand on his chest. Immediately he steps back and Harry is amazed by the effect that Louis has on all these people(including himself).
"Alright, alright, calm down," His blue eye look between them. "There's only one way to settle this...dance battle!"
"Who's gonna be the judge?" Harry asks, making love eyes down at Louis.
The beauty looks up at him, smiling. "Me."
"That's not fair!" Niall immediately injects. "If you're judge then you're obviously gonna pick Frogface!"
"He will pick the best dancer!" Harry fires back, doing the good thing and defending Louis' honor. "And that will be me!"
"If it's such a problem, I'll get Liam to help," Louis shrugs, stepping away from where he's standing and reaching out to grab a bottle of water.
For a moment, Niall looks like he's considering it. Then he sighs. "Fine," He picks up his bottle from the table. "But I need time to prepare. I'll see you both in an hour." Then he looks Harry in the eyes, bringing his hand up to his neck and drags his thumb over it. After that, he turns and walks away.
When Niall's gone, Harry turns to Louis. "You're gonna pick me, right?"
"'Course, Haz," Louis says, taking Harry's hand in his own. "C'mon now, I'll help you prepare."
He follows Louis.
But it's not his fault. He was doing great, fantastic even, but when he turned around doing his last twirl(that Louis showed him how to do) his foot caught on the table's foot and he tripped and landed hard, causing a bruise to form on his arm.
Niall laughed. Liam looked at him sympathetically. Louis kissed his arm better.
"Don't worry, love," Louis says an hour later, as he caresses over Harry's arm. It's not even hurting, but Harry won't tell Louis that. "You're still the winner of my heart."
Before Harry can even coo at how adorable Louis is, he hears a click to off. He turns to look over at the sound, seeing Niall with his phone in his hand. It's not really weird that he took a photo of them. Kind of flattering, really.
"You might be a bad dancer, Harry, but you two make such a cute couple." Niall says, eyes locked on his phone screen.
Harry doesn't even comment about the the dance thing. "Can you send that to me?" He asks, referring to the photo.
"No," Niall immediately says, head snapping up and glaring daggers at him.
Harry frowns. "Why not?"
"Because I have a feeling that you're going to post it on twitter or Instagram and I don't want your robotic social media skills ruining such a beautiful photo." Niall shrugs, already editing the photo. He chooses the fade filter.
"My social media skills aren't robotic!" Harry nearly shouts, offended that Niall would even say that.
"Whatever floats your boat," The blonde mumbles, not really looking at Harry.
Harry turns to Louis, affronted. "You're just gonna let him talk to me like that?"
A snort comes from the blonde. He puts his phone in his back pocket before smirking at Harry. "Please, who do you think pointed out your robotic ways?"
Harry looks between the two of them. Shocked. Betrayed. Hurt. His own boyfriend.
"What was it ya' called him 'gain, Lou?"
Louis mumbles something incoherent and that causes Niall's smirk to widen. He looks like a scientist that's gone mad with power. "Sorry, speak up. Can't year ya'."
An eye roll is received from Louis. He isn't even caressing Harry's arm anymore. "Harbot. I called him Harbot."
A loud laugh escapes Niall. He even bends down and slaps his knee a few times. Honestly, what Harry wouldn't do just to throw him with a chair. Or a brick. Either will work.
"Whatever," He mumbles, sticking his nose up in the air and crossing his arms in front of his chest like a little child. "I hate both of you anyway." Louis raises an eyebrow, almost as if to say, 'oh?'. Harry immediately smiles at him, wrapping an arm around his shoulder. "I don't hate you."
"Better not," Louis mumbles into Harry's neck. "Me heart would be broken."
Small kisses are placed onto Louis' forehead. "Would never try to break your heart, ever." Harry mumbles softly in his ear.
"You two are so domestic that it actually makes me heart hurt." Harry almost forgot that Niall's been watching them.
He glares at him. "I still hate you."
@Harry_Styles : My boyfriend is so mean :( @Louis_Tomlinson .
He even adds a sad face just to prove Louis wrong. Ha. Robotic. That will show him.
HARRY STYLES IS NOT SINGLE.
I repeat, Harry Styles is not single. This is not a drill.
Well, well, well. Would you look at that? Our dear beloved Harry just broke a million of hearts right across the globe by a simple tweet. For months, we've been wondering what's been going on between Harry and the quite lovely, Louis Tomlinson. They've been playing this game with us far too long and now we have answers.
Styles, 21, confirmed that he and Tomlinson are, in fact, an item. By a tweet! Earlier today the young popstar tweeted: ' My boyfriend is so mean :( @Louis_Tomlinson ' (he even tweeted a sad face!) and then not even five minutes later, Tomlinson replied: ' @Harry_Styles sorry my love ! '
It's all very cute, if you ask me. A close source to the singer reveals: "Yes, Harry and Louis are dating. It's all very recent, though." Well, I don't quite believe that's it's all very recent at all! They're been teasing us with hugging and kissing photos and videos for weeks now!
I, for one, am very happy for our dear Harold. It looks like quite the serious relationship.
Tell us what you think by leaving a comment in our commentbox down below!
Amanda: im so happy for Harry! He looks so happy and Louis is very gorgeous!
Tiffany: I've never really liked Louis :/ feels like he's only there for Harry's money.
Liz: LARRY STYLINSON RISE
Colette: fuck off. harry isnt dating him.
Nicole: Nope! I refuse to believe that Harry is in a relationship.
Stella: Why can't you just stop hating on poor Louis and just be happy that Harry found someone who obviously makes him very happy?
Marcus: Can Louis dump Harry? I want to date Lou.
A frustrated sighs leaves Harry's mouth as he scrolls through twitter later that night, after the concert.
There's so many people who are hating on Louis and it's just so fucking frustrating. He wants to shout at them to shut up because they don't know Louis.
They don't fucking know Louis at all and they can't judge him. They don't that Louis saved Harry. They don't know that Louis is Harry's everything. They don't know that without Louis, Harry wouldn't be as happy as he is now.
Louis is the absolute most wonderful person and he deserves the world. The people in the world just doesn't deserve Louis.
Another sigh leaves Harry's lips as he comes across a tweet saying that Louis caused the bruise on Harry's arm, that's why he tweet that Louis is mean. Honestly, Louis wouldn't even hurt a fly. A fly would probably hurt him, but he wouldn't even dare hurt it back. He may act all though in front of everyone, but Harry knows Louis is a softie.
"What's wrong?" Louis asks as he slips into the bed beside Harry. He's wearing the same jumper as the previous night, looking as small as ever and all that Harry wants to do is protect Louis from the cruel, cruel world.
He logs out of twitter and puts his phone on the bedside table, then turns to Louis. He's looking at Harry like he could do no harm in the world and it tugs at Harry's heartstrings. "I'm so sorry, Lou. You're getting so much hate and it's all my fault."
When he avoids eye contact with Louis, his face is being placed in two small hands. They're very warm. "Love, it's true that I'm getting hate and of course it does sting a little but you know why I put up with it?" At Harry's shrug, Louis pressed his lips to Harry's forehead. "Because you're worth it, Haz. I love you and I won't let stupid words change that okay?"
Harry doesn't understand how he got Louis. It doesn't make sense how he ended up with somebody so, so perfect.
He kisses Louis long, getting so lost in everything that his boy is before he pulls back, placing another two kiss to his forehead. "Thank you."
@Harry_Styles: The summertime, and butterflies, all belong to your creation.
So I've recently started a new fic and I'd really appreciate it if you would check it out( only if you want to!)
If not, then thank you so much for reading this one!
Next update is Friday.
What would I do without your smart mouth?
Drawing me in, and you kicking me out
You've got my head spinning, no kidding, I can't pin you down
What's going on in that beautiful mind
I'm on your magical mystery ride
And I'm so dizzy, don't know what hit me, but I'll be alright
The thing is, he's not even paying enough attention(Okay, that's a lie. He always pays enough attention to Louis) to notice it on purpose. But the thing is, Louis isn't very discreet. At all. So Harry quickly notices.
The first time it happens is three weeks after their last show in Japan and they're currently on their second show in sunny Australia, Sydney to be exact, when it happens.
It's a few hours before the shows starts, the fans are still waiting outside the stadium, and everybody on the crew is surprisingly calm. There's no rushing around like there normally is. It's probably because Louis didn't pull a prank on anyone. Or, Harry doesn't think he has. There's never knowing when Louis is involved.
Harry and Louis are talking to Sammy, an older male member of the sound crew who's overly friendly and always lovely with everybody. Sammy is mentioning how loud their shows always are. Louis is curled up in Harry's side, a bit sleepy because he didn't sleep well the previous night(Harry thinks it might have been a nightmare. He didn't mention it to Louis though) and Harry has his hand resting on Louis' waist. It's normal.
Louis suddenly laces his and Harry's hand together, his fingers having a death grip on Harry's. Harry doesn't pay it any mind at first, but when Louis starts moving Harry's hand with his own to his back and let's Harry's hand settle just above the curve of his bum, Harry looks at him and raises an eyebrow.
Louis isn't looking at him, nodding along to something that Sammy said about soundcheck being fun. Now that Harry can see, Louis is a bit uncomfortable. From what Harry can feel, his body is shaky slightly also.
It's weird that Louis himself moved Harry's hand to where it rests because it's clear as daylight that he's very uncomfortable with it.
Harry shakes his head, mostly to himself and not really thinking anything about it at first. He moves his hand back to Louis' waist, tightening his hold there, and tunes into the conversation again.
Louis closes his eyes, only for a moment, and breathes out a sigh of relief. Harry pretends he doesn't see it.
His hands stays there until it's their turn to perform.
The second time it happens, not so discreetly, Harry decides that he's going to be paying much more attention to Louis' little plan, as Harry likes to call it in his head.
It's only a few days later and they're playing their last show in Sydney. The show itself is amazing, all three boys jump around on stage, full of adrenaline, and they sing incredibly well. The screaming and cheering from the crowd tells them so(there was even a 'Larry Stylinson' sign in the audience, so Harry certainly enjoyed the show).
The first thing that's greets him when he comes off stage is his arms full of his absolute favorite boy, throwing his arms around Harry's neck like Harry's not sweaty and slightly reeking. And it's not new, or anything, he's used to it. He's used to being praised by Louis after every show. It's their way of doing thing.
"You were so amazing tonight, love," Louis murmurs into Harry's neck. He has to stand on his tippy toes and if that's not the definition of cute, then Harry doesn't know what is.
Harry tightens his arms around Louis. "Thanks," He places a sweet, lingering kiss to the beauty's temple before pulling away and eyeing the table with the water on them. "Want a water?"
A nonchalant shrug is received from the adorable man. Harry nods and places one last kiss to his temple before walking over to the table and grabbing three bottles- one for him, Liam and Louis(Niall doesn't trust Harry anymore after the dancing competition, apparently, claiming that Harry'll poison him because of his loss).
When he turns around, he nearly drops the bottles, mouth falling open and eyes widening.
A few feet away from him stands Louis. In Josh's arms. Willingly. He's even hugging him tightly.
Harry isn't jealous, of course not, but it's just so fucking strange. A few days ago Louis was shaking because he moved Harry's hand to just above his bum and now he's hugging Josh, out free will.
For an outsider, it might look like a normal lad hug. But Harry isn't a outsider. He sees the way Louis' arms are shaking. He sees how badly Louis just wants to pull away and make himself comfortable. It's unnerving to see him like this.
Harry decides to make his way over to them, pulling Louis away from the drummer. He sends Josh a glare, which he can admit, isn't really fair at all. But.
He just wants to protect his boy. So.
Once Harry wraps his arms around Louis completely, the latter breathes out a, not very discreet, sigh. His whole body relaxes in Harry's arms.
"You okay, my lovely?" Harry asks, pulling Louis to the side and nuzzling his nose into his neck. For a by passer, it might look utterly adorable.
"Yeah, just-" Louis sighs, pressing his chest into Harry's more. He's looking for comfort, Harry soon realizes. "-just showing everybody how proud I am of them."
It's a lie. It's so obviously a lie and all that Harry wants to do is call Louis out on it. He doesn't. Instead he takes Louis' hand and pulls him to the van outside the stadium.
Neither of them mention the hug.
Harry didn't even realize that he did drop the water accidentally.
By the third time that it happens, Harry knows exactly what's going on. It's so fucking obvious and Harry feels so fucking stupid for not noticing it any sooner.
Just because they're okay, doesn't mean Louis is.
He's coming back from recording part of Temporary Fix in Julian's room on one of their off nights in Perth, when he finds Louis laying curled up in their hotel room, watching what he guesses is Breaking Bad or The Walking Dead.
He looks so adorable, wearing Harry's jumper(He only wears Harry's jumpers nowadays, as it seems. Harry doesn't have a problem with that) and cuddling with a pillow. His one leg is thrown over the duvet, the color of his skin a perfect contrast to the white.
Harry walks over to him, bending don at Louis' side of the bed on his knees. He places his arms behind Louis and lays his chin on them. "You look so sleepy," He murmurs softly.
"Mmm," Louis hums, eyes closed and hand clutching the pillow tightly. "Not that sleepy."
Harry rolls his eyes and stands up. He place a kiss on Louis' cheek. "Gonna shower quickly."
Louis' nose cutely scrunches up. He opens his eyes and follows Harry's movements as he makes his way over to his suitcase. "Please do. You kind of reek."
He zips open his bag and digs through it to find a clean boxer and clean clothes to wear. He grins a little when he does something. "You always pay me the nicest compliments."
A snort is heard from Louis. "Whatever floats your boat, my darling."
Harry walks over to en-suite bathroom, stopping at the door when he hears Louis call his name. He turns around and is met with Louis sitting up in their bed, eyes wide. He takes a deep breath.
Then. "Can I come with you?"
It's silent for the next minute.
Harry staring at Louis in shock and Louis refusing to look up and make eye contact with Harry.
He doesn't know how to feel. Relieved? Awkward? Scared?
He doesn't fucking know.
"Uhm," He finally manages to get out. He can feel that his eyes are wide and filled with shock and maybe he looks like a frog in the moment but he can't really find it in himself to care, at all. "What...What do you mean?"
And finally those blue are look up at him. Scared. When Louis speaks, his voice is a bit shaky, "I mean. Like, not in the shower...with you. Like, just. Ya' know...sit there."
Harry stares at him. Louis stares back. "Lou..." He begins, unsure of what to say.
Louis quickly stands up from the bed, sheets falling off his body as moves his way over to Harry. "Please?" He asks, voice firm and determined and Harry knows that he already lost the battle when Louis even asked. "I'll even sit with my back turned to you if it makes you uncomfortable."
It's not going to make me uncomfortable. It's going to make you uncomfortable, he thinks.
He sighs. "Okay...if you insist."
Louis takes his hand and walks into the bathroom. The air around them is awkward and stiff and neither of them says a word as Louis takes a seat on the closed toiled and Harry puts his on the rail where the towels are hanging.
He strips himself very of his clothes and starts the water. For obvious reasons, he turns his back to Louis.
With quick moves, he washes his hair and his body and not before long he turns around and reaches out for the towel.
At the exact same time Louis turns around.
A gasp is heard in the room. Harry's not sure if it comes from himself or Louis.
Louis quickly slaps his hands over his eyes and breathes out heavily. "I'm sorry," It's rushed and awkward and uncomfortable for both of them as Harry wishes he could turn back time so this would have never happened. "I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry."
Harry wraps the towel around himself. He doesn't say anything for a moment. Then, "It's fine."
It's not fine because Louis is not fine. Harry knows that now.
"Why don't you go get me a jumper to sleep in, please?" Harry asks, shifting from one foot to the other. He doesn't look up from the ground and Louis doesn't remove his hands from in front of his eyes.
Louis nods anyway and quickly rushes out of the bathroom.
Harry knows he has a jumper in the bathroom. Louis knows it too.
When Harry finally emerges from the bathroom ten minutes later he is met with the imagine of Louis pretending to be asleep. It's probably better that way, anyway.
It hurts because Harry knows now.
He decides to confront Louis about it the next morning, which, in retrospect, is probably not the best thing to do. Harry knows he shouldn't because Louis will definitely freak out a bit. But...he just wants Louis to be okay.
It's barely 07:00 AM when Harry shakes Louis to consciousness, impatient.
Louis blinks a few times, eyes adjusting to the bright morning light. He looks at Harry when he's fully awake, a confused expression on his face. "What's wrong?"
Harry swallows a lump forming in his throat, taking a seat next to Louis on the bed. He wiggles around a bit, trying to find a comfortable position to sit in. "We need to to talk."
Louis immediately sits up, a terrified expression on his beautiful face. He looks Harry up and down for only two seconds, before sitting up on his knees. "You're not breaking up with me, are you?"
"What?" Harry asks, shock lacing in his voice. He would never break up with his favorite boy, ever. Upon seeing Louis' face not changing out of a terrified expression, he moves closer to him and takes his tiny hand into his own. He brings it up to his lips and kisses the soft skin. "Would never break up with you."
Louis sighs visibly. "What do you want to talk about then?"
Awkwardly, Harry lets go of Louis' hand and mentally prepares himself for what he's about to do.
"I know what you're trying to do."
An eyebrow is raised from Louis. "I don't really know what you're taking about..."
"Please don't lie to me, Lou," Harry sighs and runs a hand through his hair. It feels nice. "I know."
"Harry, you're talking in circles."
"I know that you're forcing yourself to be okay," He blurts it out very quickly and watches as Louis faces scrunches up in confusion then anger and then hurt.
"I-I..." The blue eyes beauty suddenly looks out of breath and he stands up and paces around the room. He stops at the window leading out to the balcony. He doesn't go out, though. Instead, he turns around to glare at Harry. "Where did you even get that from?"
Harry, knowing that he should approach this very gentle, stand up and moves his way over to his boy. He definitely doesn't flinches when Louis pulls back from his touch. "I'm not stupid, Lou," He begins, standing only a foot away from Louis. "I see the way you force yourself to touch people. And like...last night...It was clear that you were very uncomfortable, yet you still forced yourself...to, you know."
Louis steps back and leans against the window. He has tears in his eyes when he looks up at Harry. It tears at his heart. "I," He wipes away his tears with the back of his hand. "I just want to be okay, Harry."
Immediately, Harry pulls the trying beauty into his arms and starts petting his hair. It's soft, much like Louis. He kisses his forehead, trying to soothe him. "I know, baby, I know."
Harry picks Louis up bridal style and walks over to the bed. He sits down first and then put Louis into his lap, rocking them back and forth. "I want you to be okay, too," He coos into Louis', who's crying has calmed down a bit, ear. "Only ever want you to be okay. You deserve it."
It continues like that for about five minutes before Harry tilts Louis' chin up with his fore finger and wipes his tears away with his thumbs. "Lou," He begins softly, knowing that Louis won't like what he's about to bring up next. "I was thinking...Maybe you should be...considering therapy."
Louis' head snaps up so fast that Harry's afraid that he might've broken it. It's not, luckily.
Blue eyes glare at him intensely. "No."
He knew it. He knew that answer was coming. Harry sighs and runs a hand through Louis' hair, making a sort of fringe out of his bed hair. "Please?" He asks, now looking into Louis' eyes. "Please, Lou?"
Louis stands up from his lap. It's clear he's angry now. His nose is scrunched up and he's glaring at Harry, fiery burning in his eyes. "I said no, Harry," He turns his back to Harry and walks over to his suitcase.
Harry follows him, a bit skeptical. He and Louis had never fought before, but it's clear that this is very quickly going to turn into one if they don't stop what they're doing right now.
"Lou, please, it's clear you need it-"
"I KNOW!" Louis yells and turns around to face Harry, tears already running down his face again and it hurts Harry knowing that he's the cause of those tears. Louis stands up and moved until he's in front of Harry. "Look, I know there's something wrong with me, but I don't need other people pointing it out too."
"There's nothing wrong with you, Louis!" Harry rips at his hair in a frustrated motion. "You're hurt. And I just want to get you help-"
Harry stops and stares at Louis. That hurt. So fucking much. Leave? Harry would never leave Louis. He's offended that Louis would even say that to him.
Louis looks down at the ground, hurt and fragile and tiny. "Please. Just for today."
Now it's Harry's time to protest. "No."
Louis makes his way over to the door. He opens it and turns to Harry, hand tight on the handle. "Please. Just for today."
In the end, Harry walks out of the door with slump shoulders and an aching heart.
He's not leaving Louis. Louis wants this.
They ignore each other for the rest of the day, Louis staying in their room and Harry going to the stadium.
"Lou?" Harry calls into the room as soon as he opens the door. He's just come from what he can describe as one of his worst performances. Ever.
The room is silent and dark. The only light that shines is the tiny one beside their bed, flickering dimly.
Panic starts rising in his chest when he gets no reply and he quickly runs to the bathroom, only to find it empty.
He almost starts hyperventilating, but then he sees the balcony door open and he can't help the sigh of relief that escapes him when he sees it.
He walks over to the door and peaks his head out.
The city lights shines brightly onto the balcony, the brightness of it illuminating the beautiful silhouette of Louis. With a cigarette burning between his lips.
Harry steps out and leans against the wall, only a few feet away from Louis, who stares out into the dark night like it's something beautiful.
"You smoke?" Harry asks, not entirely very soft.
Louis shrugs but doesn't look at him. He inhales the smoke in deeply before pulling the fag from his lips and blowing out the smoke in tiny little circles. "When I feel like it."
Harry nods, not entirely sure what to do. He stands up and leans against the railing of the balcony. He doesn't look down.
They're thirty floors up and Harry's afraid of falling. Maybe that's a metaphor for his life. He's not entirely sure.
"Can I have one?" He looks at Louis. Looks at the tiny smirk he can make out in the dark.
"No," Another puff is taken. "It ruins you."
Harry stands up from the railing and goes to stand next to Louis where he's leaving against the wall. "Doesn't it ruin you as well?"
"Oh, love," Louis smiles, puffing in the last bit of the fag. Once he's done, he throws it over the railing. "Can't ruin something that's already broken."
You're not broken. He wants to say.
He stays silent.
"I'll do it," Louis suddenly says after a moment of too long silence. Once he sees Harry's confused expression, he continues, "I'll do the therapy. Once we get back."
Without even realizing it, Harry pulls Louis into his chest, rubbing small circles into his back. "You don't have to if you don't want to."
"I want to," Louis says, head resting on Harry's shoulder. "Or, well, I don't want to. But I need to. I've realized that."
Harry nods happily, kissing Louis' forehead. "Liam asked where you were today."
"That's how you know you fucked up," Louis giggles into Harry's chest. "When even Liam knows something is wrong."
He doesn't laugh, or even try to. He feels tired from an awfully long day. He pulls away from Louis. "I'm going to bed. You coming?"
Louis shakes his head and wraps his arms around his middle, looking beautiful in nothing but darkness. "In a bit."
With a tired nod, Harry makes his way inside. He's not even halfway to bed when he hears a tap against the glass of the glass door. He turns around and is faced with a smiling Louis, tiny hand pressed against the glass.
Slowly, Harry makes his way to the door, standing on the opposite side of glass. He lifts his hand and presses it to the door, over Louis' so that their hands align.
It's more romantic than it has the right to be.
Louis looks up from where he watches their hands. His eyes immediately meets Harry's.
'I Love You' He mounts.
It's not okay, but somehow, it is.
Note dedicated to Louis Tomlinson for being beautiful as fuck.
Anyway, next update is Thursday :)
Chapter 17: s e v e n t e e n
Kudos to you if you catch the song reference
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the wrong words seem to rhyme
Out of the doubt that fills my mind
I somehow find
You and I collide
After their second show in Johannesburg, they fly to Cape Town. They're only performing once, so they have two days off in the city. They land in Cape Town international airport in the dark hours of the night and Harry thanks God that the South African fans didn't stay up just for them.
"Get our baggage, please?" Louis asks, head resting on Harry's shoulder. He quickly kisses Harry's cheek before separating their bodies. "Just quickly wanna have a chat with Liam."
Harry nods, then pressed a lingering kiss to Louis' forehead, hands cupping his soft cheeks. He doesn't pull away after thirty seconds and then Louis pushes him away, giggling. "Haz, I'm serious! Go get our bags." He probably aims to sound firm, but Harry can't help but find him the most adorable little cuddle bunny he's ever seen in his life.
He watches as Louis walks over to Liam, wearing an oversized Adidas jumper and he can't help but stare after his boy.
"So whipped, honestly," Niall say behind him, and when Harry turns around he's faced with a smug looking Irish bastard with arms crossed over his chest and a smirk on his lips.
Harry rolls his eyes and starts walking over to baggage claim, Niall following after him. "Don't really care what you say, Blondie. Not my fault you're jealous because I'm dating the most beautiful boy in the world."
Niall snorts, reaching down and searching for his own two suit suitcases in the mess. "Dating? Please, you two are like an old married couple."
A blush spreads on Harry's cheeks at Niall's words. Not because he's embarrassed, or anything, but because he knows the words are true. Hell, after their last show in Australia the entire crew went out clubbing, except Harry and Louis who had stayed at the hotel for cuddles and tv.
Whatever. They're cute.
"I don't really see you having a problem with that," Harry mumbles, gathering Louis' three(he wonders for a moment if Louis made up an excuse to not carry his own bags)suitcases and his own. "All you do is take pictures of us and post them on Instagram."
Niall rolls his eyes. "I do them for Louis, not you," He sighs and walks alongside Harry to where the others are waiting for them. "Louis is me favorite person in the whole world."
Yeah, well, get in line buddy. Harry almost says, not really knowing if he should be pleased or creeped out with Niall's weird obsession with Louis. At least it's not only him who knows how wonderful his boy is.
"Since he's your favorite person-" Harry pushes one of Louis' heavy suitcases in Niall arms. "-you wouldn't mind carrying that for him."
A nonchalant shrug is received from the blonde Irishman and he happily carries the suitcase. Harry is sure if it were his or Liam's or anybody else's, he'd just leave it there without looking back.
They walk to where Liam and Louis are, who look to be in a deep discussion. They only hear the last part of Louis' rushed words, "So will you?"
Liam, seeing Niall and Harry approaching, only nods and purses his lips, looking a bit confused. It's nothing new.
"Will he what?" Harry asks, setting the bags on the floors. He pulls Louis into his arms, resting his chin on Louis' bony little shoulder. Huh, he should really let his boy eat more.
Said boy turns around and throws his arms around Harry's shoulders, hands locking behind his neck. He looks up at him with the most gorgeous blue eyes, smiling. "Will he carry my bags because you're going to be too busy carrying me."
Harry rashes an eyebrow playfully, arms tightening around Louis' waist. "Oh?"
"Yep," Louis says, popping the 'p' and resting his head on Harry's shoulder. He nuzzle his nose into the shirt that Harry's wearing and yawns. "'M tired, Haz."
"No we can't have that, can we?" Harry picks Louis up bridal style, smiling a little when Louis lets out a very manly squeal.
"You oaf!" Louis yells, hitting Harry's chest repeatedly. It's not very hard. "Warn a guy, will you?"
Fondly, Harry rolls his eyes and starts walking, not missing the "married!" Niall yells after them.
Luckily, Niall takes all of Louis' bags and Liam takes his.
There's so many way that Harry can be awoken. Poking him everywhere in the face is also a way. So naturally, that's what Louis does.
"Haz, wake up," Louis wines and presses his finger where Harry's dimple usually is. He has to fight back the urge to smile at Louis' ways. "I'm not kidding, Harry. Wake up or I'll go cuddle Niall."
Okay, even Harry can admit that they way he immediately sits up is a bit too fast. He doesn't miss the smile that Louis bites back when Harry open his eyes, still a bit tired but not wanting Louis to go.
"Morning, my lovely," Louis says softly, taking Harry's hand into his own and playing with the long, slender fingers. He brings them up to his mouth, kissing Harry's hand with soft lips. "Liam wants you."
"I'm pretty sure if Liam wanted me you'd find a way to seriously injure him," Harry watches as Louis traces patterns on his hand. It's no secret that Louis can get quite jealous whenever someone shows a bit too much interest in Harry. Not that Harry's any better, but. Whatever. Details.
"If Liam wanted you I'd claw his eyes out with me own bare hands," Louis jokes and finally looks up to meet Harry's eyes. He leans over, kissing Harry's forehead. "But I'm serious," He says as he pulls away. "He wants to see you."
"What for?" Harry falls back into the bed, exhausted. Damn, he probably slept about five hours. Which is kind of long for him. But ever since Louis's been in his life his sleeping pattern has been much better.
Louis shrugs, pulling Harry up into a sitting position once again. "Dunno. He asked me to get you."
"Okay," Harry pulls the cover off of his body, throwing his legs to the side. Subconsciously, he rubs the place where his neck meets his shoulder, trying to ease the knot in starting there.
"Aw baby," Louis sympathizes, slapping Harry's hand away and rubbing where it hurts. Harry honestly doesn't know how he got this lucky to have Louis as his boy.
They sit like that for about five minutes, and Harry's shoulder is already feeling better. Before he knows it, there's a pair of lips kissing where it hurts. "Feeling better?" Mumbles Louis. He places soft kisses on Harry's shoulder in the shape of a circle.
Harry nods, turning to face Louis. "Thanks to you."
After that, Harry stands up and makes his way over to the bathroom to brush his teeth and hair. Not even five minutes later, he emerges from the bathroom, finding Louis laying spread out with his arms and legs, making (bed?)angels. Honestly, a child.
Shaking his head, he walks over to the beauty, kneeling down and staring at him amusedly when Louis stops to look at him with raised eyebrows. "What?"
"Are you done being a child now so that we can go?" Harry asks, smirking.
Louis turns to him with a smile on his face. "You're going alone."
Harry only shakes his head and rolls his eyes, then presses a kiss to Louis' forehead. When he's at the door, he turns around only to see Louis continuing to make the angels.
Honestly, why does he feel the need to make angels when he's already one?
"You what?" Harry stares at Liam blankly, confused at his statement.
Said boy shifts from foot to foot, not making eye contact with Harry. "I want you to come with me to the stadium. To...practice."
"No," Harry says and crosses his eyes in front of his chest. No way in hell is he going to practice when he has a day off. "I'm busy."
"I've already talked to Louis about this...so."
Without really having an idea how he got there, Harry is on Liam's shoulder. "Put me down!" He yells, hitting Liam repeatedly on the bum. It doesn't work.
Now he knows how Louis feels when he picks him up without warning him. He sighs and hangs his head in defeat.
At the end, they don't really do anything and Liam ends up ignoring him for most of the day. Whenever Harry comes near him, he walks the other way. It confuses Harry, but he shrugs it off and jokes around with some of the crew that came with them.
When he walks out of the stadium at 5 PM that day, Louis waits for him. He's standing in front of a car that Harry guesses he's rented for the day with a big smile on his face.
When he sees Harry, he walks over and kisses his cheek. "C'mon, love." He takes Harry's hand in his own and leads them over to the car, climbing in the driver's seat. Once Harry's in the passenger seat, a throws him a blindfold. "Put that on and don't take it off."
He does as he's told and pretty soon they've been driving for about thirty minutes and Harry's growing restless.
"Can I please take the blindfold off?" The way he makes it sound more like a question than a demand and Harry curses himself. He's suppose to sound intimidating, not like a whipped little puppy. Which, he kind of is. But still.
"Don't worry, love, we're here," Louis says, stopping the car and making Harry jolt forward. Honestly, Harry shouldn't let Louis drive. Once they're married, Harry will-
The thought makes his world stop for a moment. Marriage. Married to Louis. Spending the rest of his life with Louis. It's suppose to scare him. Why doesn't it scare him? Why doesn't the thought of spending the rest of his life with Louis scare him? Why does it make his heart speed to with excitement?
Having an internal battle with himself, Harry doesn't realize that Louis takes the blindfold off until the blue eyed beauty snaps his fingers in front of his eyes. "Haz?"
He looks over at his boy with wide eyes, shaking a little bit. "Yeah?"
Louis smiles softly, taking Harry's hand and kissing his knuckles. "I asked if you wanna get out?"
Harry finally snaps out of his trance and looks around them. They're literally on table mountain at the bottom cable-car station. He swallows. "Are we going up the mountain with that thing?"
"I...I-If you want to?" Louis says unsure, eyes downcast. He looks like a little child that's afraid of getting spanked because he did something wrong. "I mean...You always do such nice things for me, so I just kind of..." He trails off, lifting his hand up and gesturing to the car.
Suddenly everything makes sense. The conversation last night. Harry having to leave with Liam. Liam avoiding him the entire time they were together.
What Harry also notices is, is that their the only people at the station and he raises an eyebrow. "We're alone?"
His voice must come off as accusing because immediately Louis tenses up. "I mean...I kind of booked out this place for us for us for three hours?" He says, looking up at Harry with blue,blue,blue eyes. "If you don't want to-"
"No, no, no, baby, I want to go up," Harry stops Louis from thinking that anything he did was wrong. "I want to go up."
Louis looks up at him a bit skeptical, but nods. They climb out of the car and make their way over to the person waiting for them at the station.
"Any of you two Lewis Tomlinson?" The South African guard asks, accent heavy and thick.
"Uhm, it's Louis, but yeah that's me," Louis says a bit shyly.
The man nods, and gestures with his head to the empty car. They start following him as soon as he starts walking towards it.
After they're in the car and the man is in the station, he starts the car and the immediately jolt forward. Louis offers Harry his hand and he doesn't even have to think twice before he locks their hands.
"It's scary," Harry says, leaning against to metal and glass of the car. He doesn't look anywhere but at Louis.
Louis stares out the car, observing the city under them and the sun above them at the same time. The light of the sun shines over him, illuminating him perfectly. It makes his already tan skin look like it has been kissed by the sun. He looks breathtaking.
"From where I'm standing, it doesn't look anything but pretty," Louis didn't look at Harry, only pulls him behind him and takes Harry's arms, wrapping around them around his tiny waist. Harry rests his chin on his shoulder and now he can finally see what Louis is talking about.
The sun doesn't only shine over them, but also the water. It gleams orange over the blue, blue water and Harry doesn't think that he's ever thought that the two colors could have gone so well with each other. Clearly, he's been proven wrong.
Somehow, this is perfect. It's so silent and it's only them and the sun makes everything better. Not the literal sun, but Louis. Because that's what Louis is, he's a sun. Something that shines so brightly and so perfectly and something that lights everything up. He's everything.
"Haz?" Louis turns his head so that he's facing Harry, cheeks tinted a perfect shade of pink and eyes lit up with something that Harry thinks is love. "I don't think I've ever told you this..." He trails of, biting back a smile and his eyes so beautifully downcast that it makes Harry's heartbeat faster. "-But I've loved you since G5."
It hurts. No, no, it doesn't hurt. It fucking stings knowing that Louis's loved him for such a long time and he hasn't told Harry. He wonders, only for a moment, why Louis fell in love with him that night before something suddenly strikes him.
It comes crashing through his veins and makes his bones jump with realization. It makes his head dizzy for a few moments. It makes everything around them blur. It makes him feel stupid for not realizing it any sooner. It makes him want to cry tears of joy because this is it. He knows now why forever thoughts with Louis doesn't scare him. It makes every moment spent with Louis seem so amazing.
He's eluded this feeling for so long that it makes everything within him shake with excitement.
They're up up so high that this is the point of no return, literally and figuratively. He's not afraid of falling now. Figuratively.
This is it. This is fucking it.
He doesn't tell Louis, instead he presses their lips together in what feels like their most passionate yet.
Louis is asleep and Harry is freaking out. Naturally, he does the only thing he can think of doing.
He calls Zayn.
Harry locks himself in the bathroom and immediately dials the number. The phone rings three times before Zayn's voice rings on the other end of the line. "Harry?"
He doesn't even give Zayn a chance to talk any further before he cuts him off. "I'm in love, Zayn. I'm in love with Louis."
It's silent on the other end of the for no more than ten seconds before Harry can hear a sigh. Then, "Does Louis know?"
"Are you crazy? I've only realized it a few hours ago and I've been mentally freaking out over it-"
"Do you not want to love him? Is that why your freaking out?" Zayn asks, sounding much more interested than he usually sounds when he talks to Harry. If Harry had actually cared about that now, he'd be offended. But alas, he doesn't care.
"What are you on about? Of course I want to be in love with him. He's....He's my everything," Harry says, looking at himself in the mirror. He runs a hand through his hair, holding the phone up to his ear.
"Then why are you freaking out?"
"Because Zayn-" Harry can't help but roll his eyes. "-This is...this is something I've never experienced and now I realized that I'm in love and I've never really thought that I'd ever be in love and-"
"Harry, calm down!" Zayn says on the other side, chucking at Harry's nervousness. "Just tell him how you feel, mate. It's really not that difficult."
A sigh escapes Harry. Then, "Okay." Honestly, what would he have done without Zayn's wiseness?
Before he can hang up, Zayn speaks again, "And Haz? Don't just tell him you love him, show him."
And then he hangs up.
Harry smirks, plan already brewing in his head at Zayn's words.
Louis wakes up to an empty bed and a red rose and letter laying where Harry is suppose to be.
He sits up, eyeing the flower with suspicion and then picks up the neatly folded letter. It's small and when he opens it, he's even more confused.
Hello, my love. I'll see you at Niall's.
P.S Bring the rose!
He can't really help but smile, loving how weird his boyfriend is. Sitting up, he stretches out his limbs before climbing out of bed and pulling on an Adidas jacket.
He walks over to the bed and picks up the rose. A smile settles on his lips as he inhale are sweet smell of the beautiful flower.
Happily, he walk over to the door and opens it. When he gets to Niall's, he's going to give Harry a big kiss. He only walks a few doors down and then knocks. He's surprised when it's Niall who opens the door with yet another red rose an letter in his left hands.
"Morning?" He mumbles confusedly, looking over Niall's shoulder into the room, trying to spot if Harry's in there.
Niall pushes the flower and letter into his hands, a smug smirk on his face as he watches Louis' head tilt to the side. "Bye," He says, maybe too happily, and then shuts the door in Louis' face. Which, rude.
This time when he opens the folded piece of paper, it only reads one name.
With a confused expression, he walks another two doors down to where Liam's room is. He knocks and stands waiting for about fifteen seconds before Liam opens the door, shirtless. Louis' left hand, void of the flowers, flies up to his face to cover his eyes.
"Is Harry here?" He asks quickly, trying to not make this awkward. Liam really needs to pull up his pants a bit.
"No, but he said that I should give you this," Liam happily replies and takes Louis' hand off of his eyes, placing another red rose in his hands and a little letter.
Louis immediately turns around when he has it placed securely in his hand. Behind him, Liam closes the door.
I'm writing a song.
The piece of paper says when he opens it. It's clear that Harry's playing a little game with him and he can't help but snort. I'm wiring a song? What's that suppose to mean? He racks his brain for a few minutes and almost slaps himself when he finally comes up with a solution. Ah-ha! Julian's room!
He quickly runs, taking the stairs,to where Julian's room is, a floor below theirs. When he gets there, the next rose and papers lays in front of Julian's door. He walks over to it and picks it up. He rolls his eyes when he sees what the paper says;
Toddlers are so nice.
Toddlers? Toddlers? Todd-Lux! The only toddler on the door. He doesn't know where Lou, Tom and Lux's room is, but he knows it's somewhere on this floor. He knocks on every door, almost crying out of relief when he finally gets the right room.
"LouLou!" Lux exclaims and hugs his legs. He crouches down the her level, smiling at her with a big smile.
"Hi, Luxie, is Hazzie here?" He smiles softly at her, watching as pets his hair.
She shakes her head but picks something up hidden behind the wall. Surprise, surprise, another red rose and letter.
He sighs, but presses a kiss to her forehead anyway, thanking her. She closes the door when he opens the paper.
The reception is quite lovely here, don't you think?
Louis is going to kick Harry. He really, really is.
He takes the elevator ride to the lobby and walks over to the front desk with his his best fake smile on his face. "Hi, is there something here for Louis Tomlinson?"
The pretty blonde lady-Linda, her name tag reads-looks up at him, eyeing him up and down before nodding and bending down to gather the item for him. He doesn't even have to look at it to know it's a rose and a piece of paper. He's honestly going to kill Harry...Then kiss him better. And then kill him again.
Josh likes swimming.
Yeah, and Louis likes when his boyfriend isn't being an asshole, making him run up and down in a hotel. At least Harry made the clues easy.
He begrudgingly makes his way out to the pool, looking around to search for Josh. Mentally doing a little dance when he spots him laying with his stomach presses to the chair. He walks over to the drummer, still annoyed.
"Hey," He says, tightening his grip on the six red roses in his right hand. "You have something for me?"
Josh doesn't even look at him as he holds out the two items which are pissing Louis off quite fast. "Thanks," He turns around and starts walking back into the hotel, opening the letter.
Our room is so lonely without you, my love.
Maybe he can write a beautiful speech for Harry's funeral. Or maybe he can just walk up to the podium and say, "Motherfucker had it coming...I still love him, though."
He grumbles and makes his way up to their room again, kind of annoyed and kind of tired and really, he thought Harry was sweet by giving him a rose. Ha.
Once he's on their the floor and standing in front of tier door he takes a deep breath before opening the door.
Harry sits on their bed, looking out the window with a rose and folded on piece of paper in his hand. When he sees Louis enter, he smiles and stands up. He doesn't say anything as he places the rose in his hand with all the others and the letter in the empty hand.
"Arsehole," Louis mumbles to himself, already looking down to the worlds scribbled down on the paper.
Inside the petals; you'll be happy.
He looks up at Harry with a confused face. What the fuck does this mean? "What the fuck does this mean?"
Harry's smile deepens and he only gestures for the roses with his eyes. Louis has to fight the urge to just slap Harry.
Louis sighs and walks over to the bed. He takes a seat and spread the flowers out in front of him. With caution, Louis picks them and peaks into the petals of the rose, finding a letter on each one of them written in black sharpie. He raises an eyebrow at Harry.
Said boy walks over and takes a seat across from Louis, a smirk on his face still. "Read them in the order you got them."
He can't help but roll his eyes, thinking about how stupid that is, but then he sees the names of each person he got them from scribbled on the inside of a different petal.
He rearranges them in that order. So the first is his room(The petal says Louis) and the petal has an "I" on it. Then it's Niall's one, the petal has an "L" on it. Then Liam with a petal that says "O". Then Julian a petal that says "V". Lux's petal has an "E" on it. The receptionist has a "Y" scribbled on it. Josh's has a petal with another "O". And finally Harry's, with an "U".
He's only confused for a moment. Then-
I. L. O. V. E. Y. O. U.
I love you. I love you. I love you.
He looks up at Harry with tears in his eyes, only to find Harry smiling at him. "You're serious?" His sounds a bit shaky, even to his own ears.
His green eyes beauty nods and Louis can't really help himself so he tackles Harry, both of them stumbling onto the mattress. He places kisses all over's Harry's face, crying tears of joy.
Once Louis stops crying and Harry stops laughing, they sit up. Harry takes Louis face in between his hands and wipes away the wetness.
"Lou?" Harry smiles, biting his bottom lip. Louis looks at him with, still shaking a bit. "G5."
Louis once again tackles Louis to the ground, hugging and crying and feeling so overwhelmed.
G5 isn't an 'I love you'.
No, it's better because it's only reserved for them. It's their way of telling each that they're forever.
....61K words later.
I BET YOU THOUGHT G5 WASNT IMPORTANT. WELL, WHAT DO'YA THINK ABOUT IT NOW?!( flips hair dramatically and kicks over random chair)
ILL YOU SEE WEDNESDAY.
Chapter 18: e i g h t e e n
I don't think I've ever made this clear, so here I am saying this now; the smut scene will be bottom Louis/ top Harry.
Just saying :) (no smut in this chap! Soz!)
Second thing, there's two songs for this chapter. The second will be in italics (it's at the last scene)just to make it clear. If you want to, I advise you to listen to it if you want to. It's 'Fix You' by Coldplay
Enjoy :) x
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
And it's alright
Calling out for somebody to hold tonight
When you're lost, you'll find a way
I'll be your light
You'll never feel like you're alone
I'll make this feel like home
After Dubai, they have three weeks off before they're American shows. They finish their show quickly, buzzing with excitement and adrenaline.
After the show, they pack their bags and all say goodbye to each other for the short amount of time that they won't be seeing one another. It's not very emotional, or anything, because they actually do need a break from all the other people. So, it does them good.
Harry's London house has never felt right. It's too big, too white, too extravagant, too posh. There's no photos on the walls. No leftover food in the fridge. Not one ounce of dust laying around on the surface of the furniture. It has a big yard and at night you can see the city light and it's pretty. It's perfect. A real dream house.
But it's never felt right.
With Louis standing in the foyer, looking around like a kid in a candy store, eyes wide and lips parted and tiny feet standing pigeon toed, it does actually kind of feel right. It's amazing how Louis can make everything okay even when he's not trying. It's amazing how Louis can make everything okay even when he's not okay.
As quietly as he possibly can, Harry walks up to stand behind Louis, trying not to frighten him and wrapping his arms around the slender waist of his boyfriend and placing a lingering kiss on his soft cheek. "So happy you decided to stay with me for the break."
"Didn't really have a choice, now did I?" Louis says playfully, and although Harry can't see it because his face is currently hiding in the crook of Louis' neck, he knows that there's a tiny, amused smile on his boy's lips. "Not with you practically begging me."
A snort escapes Harry. "I did not beg."
It's not a lie. He pleaded. There's a difference. Or, not. Whatever. Point is, he has Louis with him. So.
"This house is lovely," Louis says, pushing Harry away from him and starts making his way to the kitchen. Harry follows after him, watching the way Louis admires the extravagance of the house they're currently in.
He leans in the open door. "It's not a home, though."
A ghosts of a smile appears on Louis' face as he opens the fridge only to find bottled water and long expired yoghurt. "I'll make this house feel like home."
You don't have to make it feel like a home because you are home, Harry thinks. "That would make a great song," He says. He should really start to say what he thinks because he's sure that it will end up with Louis blushing the prettiest shade of pink.
He's so in love.
"I know," Louis straightens his backs and hip bumps the fridge door closed. He looks at Harry with a smile, happy and beautiful. "I'm knackered."
Harry hums and offers Louis his hand, a smile settling on his face as Louis' tiny hand is suddenly locked with his. "Jetlag. We should probably get to bed."
They walk up the stairs, suitcases forgotten at the front door and hands locked tightly together. Louis starts laughing uncontrollably when Harry suddenly trips on his own two feet, almost making them both stumble over. Luckily, Louis steadies them both and look up at Harry with a smile. "I'm literally in love with a baby giraffe."
It makes something blossom in Harry's stomach when he hears the words leave Louis' mouth. In love. They're in love. They're in love with each other.
Harry kisses him. Louis's nothing like any other thing he's tasted before. He's sweet, and somehow, innocent and it's amazing. It's amazing that only Harry can know this. It's amazing how Louis is his and he's Louis'.
They pull back from the kiss and then Louis looks at Harry like he's everything but in reality it's actually Louis who is everything. He's going to marry his everything one day. That he can promise himself.
With shy smiles and still locked hands, they make their way to Harry's bedroom and then they quickly getting ready for bed.
It's when they're already in bed, Harry's backs to Louis' chest, that Louis tighten his hold on Harry's waist and presses his lips close to his ear. "G5."
Harry doesn't turns around to look at him but he's absolutely sure that Louis can hear the smile in his voice as he speaks. "G5."
Nick Grimshaw 07:54 am
Hey, Harry! Wanna meet up tonight? Let me know :)
Is the first text that Harry sees as soon as he unlocks his phone. He sits up in his bed and looks over the sleeping form of Louis, watches as the sun shines over his eyelashes. Watches as the white of the duvet contrast with the tan skin. Feels how he falls more in love every passing second.
He shakes his head and turns his attention back to the phone. He considers meeting up with Nick tonight. On one hand, he hasn't seen Nick in about five months. On the other, he isn't sure if he can bring Louis with him.
Because he's not going if he can't take Louis.
Harry Styles 09:01 am
Can I bring my boyfriend?
He doesn't even have to wait five minutes before his phone vibrates again.
Nick Grimshaw 09:04 am
Sure! Would love the man who caged you in!
Harry rolls his eyes at Nick's response, not really sure if he should take it seriously. He shakes his head and locks his phone as soon as Nick sends him the address of the restaurant they're going to be meeting up at and the time. He puts his phone on the bedside table and then he starts poking Louis on his shoulder, trying to wake him up.
After a few minutes, Louis grumbles something incoherent into the pillow and lifts his head up, eyes glaring at Harry. "Wha' ya' want? I'm fooking tired."
Harry literally has to bite back his smile at how adorable Louis sounds, even when he's trying to be intimidating. "We're going out, yeah?"
Louis' intense gaze deepens, eyes a fiery blue and hair sticking up in all different directions. Honestly, so adorable. "So you wake me up...just to tell me that?" When Harry nods, Louis sits up in bed. "You know you could've told me when I actually woke up, right?"
Harry shrugs, head falling loosely over his shoulder. Louis sighs. "Well, now you have to make me breakfast because I can't go back to sleep now. Thank you very much."
Harry fondly rolls his eyes at his boy. Honestly, Louis is so dramatic. Harry loves him. "I was going to have to make you breakfast anyway, Lou."
"I'm so glad that you know how our relationship work," Louis says he he throws the covers over him and climbs off of the bed, looking at beautiful as ever.
"Yes I do the cooking, yes I do the cleaning, plus-" Harry gets cut off from singing as soon as a pillow hits him in the face. He frowns when he looks up at Louis who's smiling at him like he did absolutely nothing wrong.
"Breakfast, please and thank you," He says and then walks into the bathroom, leaving Harry to stare after him. So in love.
Harry whips up something with the ingredients he has in his cupboards which are not a lot. Needless to say, Louis is not impressed with him at all.
They spend the rest off the day watching tv and relaxing in the sun outside in the yard, Louis kicking around a football and Harry taking pictures. Only two end up on Instagram, which is a record for him.
Overall, it's a quite lovely day for the two young lovers.
When the clock strikes 6 pm both of them go their separate ways to get ready for me the night, seeing as how they're suppose to meet up with Nick at 19:30 and Harry's house is quite some distance from the restaurant. Nick had texted him during the day and told him that he got them a private booth, which Harry is very grateful for.
When Harry walks downstairs, wearing black skinny jeans, his glitter boots and a button down with the top three button undone, Louis is already waiting for him in the middle of the foyer, looking absolutely adorable. His hair is swept into a fringe and he's wearing black skinny jeans and a big maroon jumper with-
"Aww," Harry coos as soon as he sees Louis' speckle Adidas shoes. His feet are so tiny. "We have matching shoes."
"Well you know what they say," Louis shrugs, looking as nonchalant as ever. "A couple that glitters together, stays together."
Harry perks up, teeth showing and dimples popping out. "Maybe I should get you some glitter boots!"
"No," Louis immediately replies, giving Harry the keys to his Range Rover as soon as he walks over to him. "Those are not for me. I'll stick to me Adidas."
"But they'll make you taller," Harry tries to reason, placing a hand on the small of Louis' back as he leads then through the door. He quickly locks the door and stuffs the keys into his pocket.
Louis looks to consider Harry's words for a moment, eyes focused on Harry's shoes, before he looks up and shakes his head. "'M good."
They arrive at the restaurant at 19:32 pm. Fashionably late, they are.
Harry parks at a secluded spot and walks over to the passenger door, opening it and taking Louis' hand. He's been nervous the entire drive, afraid that Nick won't like him. Of course Harry assured him that everything will be fine because Louis is a like-able person.
With locked hands and in love smiles, they make their way into the restaurant. It's not entirely busy and not entirely empty. It's perfect.
"Hi," Harry greets the hostess, a beautiful lady with brown hair, hazel eyes and a dashing smile, when they walk up to her. "Um, we're suppose to meet someone here? Nick Grimshaw?"
The lady smiles, not too widely. It doesn't look as is she recognizes him. Or maybe she does. Maybe she's just use to celebrities coming into the restaurant. It is, after all, a fancy place. "Right. He's right this way."
She leads them to a table in the far left corner that's hidden behind a little wall. It's the perfect seat.
Nick is already waiting for them at the table, quiff high and smile amused as he watches them. He's all warm smiles and friendly hugs when they take a seat around the table. Once the hostess leave them and tell them that their waitress will be with then shortly, he turns to Louis, smile bright. "So you're the one that made an honest man out of our little Harry?"
Louis blushes and smiles shyly, eyes glancing between Harry and Nick. "I didn't change him, if that's what you're implying. There was nothing to change, anyway," He tightens his hands around Harry's under the table. "He's perfect."
Nick turns to Harry, eyebrow raised. "I like this one."
Yeah, I love this one. He thinks. "Didn't know I needed your approval," He says.
A snort escapes Nick. "Of course you do, Harold."
Louis laughs at Nick's words and that's enough for them to start chatting, mostly about the silly nicknames they have for Harry.
Harry will never, ever admit how much he loves it.
Their waitress comes to take their orders a few minutes later. She brings their drinks out almost immediately after that.
It's only when Louis excuses himself to the bathroom that Nick turns to Harry. "He's pretty."
"He's more than that," He's the love of my life.
Nick picks up his glass of champagne and takes up sip, embodiment of cool and collected. "So, how's he in the shagpad?"
Immediately, Harry snaps his head up to glare at his friend. "What?"
"Just wanna know how good he is in the bedroom," Nick shrugs, twirling the liquid in the glass around. When Harry doesn't answer him, he lazily glances at him. "Wait...you didn't have sex yet?"
Again, Harry doesn't answer. instead, he only hardens his glare, but that's apparently of the confirmation that Nick needs. "What? It's been like, what, five months that you've been pining over him and still no sex? Don't you have a serious case of blue balls?"
"Shut up, Nick," Harry grits through his teeth, annoyed.
Again, Nick shrugs. "All I'm saying is, if there's no sex then the relationship is bound to get boring."
"Just shut up, will you?" Harry snaps. What does Nick know anyway? Nothing. Nick leans back into his seat, amused.
Neither of them notice Louis standing behind the wall.
The rest of the dinner is kind of tense.
The drive back to Harry's house is filled with silence. As soon as they drive through the gates and he parks the car in the garage Harry turns to look over at Louis with raised eyebrows. "You okay?"
Louis shrugs and climbs out of the car with his eyes locked on the ground. "I'm fine," He says and then slams the door shut.
Harry follows after him, locking the car door and rushing after his boy who's walking to the front door. He lightly puts his hand on Louis' shoulder, catching him attention. "Baby, what's wrong?"
"It's really nothing," Louis says as Harry opens the door. He walks in before Harry, holding the door handle. "I was just thinking."
"About?" Harry questions and locks the door. He throws the keys on the little table next to the door and takes Louis' hand.
"Nothing," Louis mumbles and walks together with Harry up the stairs. Harry doesn't say anything, instead opening the door and leading Louis to bed.
Louis stands up immediately though. "I'm gonna go change in the bathroom," He says without really at Harry. He walks over to his suitcase as pulls his pajamas out.
Harry shrugs, hearing the bathroom door shut with a 'click'. He quickly pulls on his pj's and climbs into the bed waiting for Louis.
What surprises him, though, is when Louis walks out of the bathroom. Without a shirt and just in his boxers. He's never ever let himself be so exposed. He sleeps fully clothed and doesn't change in front of Harry. Harry wonders if he's okay.
He sits up in bed, watching as Louis makes his way over to stand directly in front of Harry. "You okay?"
Louis takes a deep breath, chest puffing up. "I want to have sex."
Harry chokes on his own spit. He slaps his chest with his fist, trying to get over his coughing fit and when he finally does, he looks up and stares at Louis. "You what?"
"I want to have sex," Louis says again, climbing onto the bed and straddling Harry's hips. "Please."
Wide eyed, Harry stares up at him. He doesn't touch him. "Lou....I don't really think that's a good idea."
Louis sighs and sits with his bum on Harry's thighs. He runs through his hair and then looks Harry directly in the eyes. "But I want to."
Harry has to literally fight the urge to just reach out and touch. He can't, though. "Louis, I don't think it's a good idea."
"Do you not trust me?" Louis glares, eyes fiery blue and beautiful. "Is that why?"
"Of course I trust-" Harry begins to says.
Louis cuts him off, voice firm and determined, "Then why won't you do this for me?"
"Because," Harry says, running a hand through his hair, and turns his head away for a moment. "I don't want to hurt you by doing something you're uncomfortable with."
Louis sighs and rolls over the bed, lying next to Harry and spreading his legs only a bit. "But I'm comfortable with you. And I trust you."
As an afterthought he adds, "I want this with you."
Knowing that he's already lost the battle, Harry turns to Louis and nods firmly. "Okay," He says. "But if you want me to stop you tell me. Or kick me. Or slap me. Or yell at me. I don't care what you do, you just make it clear when you're uncomfortable."
Louis nods, eyes locked on the ceiling. Harry slips into between Louis' legs, head where his stomach is, hands immediately on his hips and touching the soft skin. "Are you sure you want this?" He asks, just to be sure.
"Yeah-" Louis says, a little out of breath. "Yeah. Positive."
"Louis, I'm serious," Harry looks up his boy with determined eyes. "If you don't want to go on, tell me. Okay?"
Louis nods again and nudges Harry's calf with his foot, signaling for him to continue. Harry starts off by placing soft kisses below Louis' belly button, lips lingering for moments too long and loving the way Louis' skin feels under his lips.
He grips Louis' hips lightly and moves his head down to place soft kisses on the inside of his boy's beautiful thighs, making sure that every part of the thigh has been kissed. Only the best for Louis.
Once he's done with the one thigh, he looks up at Louis again. "Want me to go on?" When Louis nods, he hums, running his hands lightly over Louis' hip. "Hand me the lube please? It's in the drawer of the table." Louis complies, reaching for the drawer and pulling the lube out.
Harry takes it and places a kiss to his skin, looking up at Louis through his lashes. "You sure you're okay?"
"Fucking hell, Harry," Louis snaps. "Just get on with it."
Harry nods and, unsurely, takes the waistband of Louis' boxers in his hands. He starts slowly pulling it down...
Immediately he lets the boxers go and backs away, eyes immediately finding Louis'. Louis swallows. "Can I turn around?"
Thinking that he had hurt Louis, Harry breathes a sigh of relief, and nods. Louis turns around, tummy pressed to the mattress and face buried in a pillows. His hands are clutching the pillow tightly. "Okay, you can continue."
"Are you sure?" Harry asks. Louis nods with closed eyes. Harry starts placing kisses on his lower back, hands tracing his skin. His hands are shaking when he takes the waistband of the boxers into his hands, slowly lowering them and revealing Louis' bum.
He sucks air into his lungs, just admiring the gorgeous bum of his boyfriend for a tiny moment. He glances upwards, seeing Louis laying completely still.
His hands are turning white as he clutches the pillow.
Immediately Harry sits up, moving to sit next to Louis.
His heart aches when he sees that Louis' face is pressed into the pillow, silent tears running down his face.
When Louis sees him he immediately pulls up his boxers and jumps out of the bed, staring at Harry with wide eyes. "I'm so sorry," He apologizes, tears still on his cheeks. "I'm so sorry. I'm sorry."
As Harry moves towards him, the blue eyed beauty flinches back and Harry will admit that it hurts more than anything else.
"I...I think," He says quietly. "I think I'm going to sleep in the quest room."
And then he's out the door, leaving behind a guilty Harry, who eventually starts rocking back and forth as he's crying.
Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you
Harry gets two hours of sleep in at most. He lays in bed, eyes glancing between the clock and the ceiling. He sits up at one point with his feet on the ground, planning to go to Louis but decides against it.
It's so fucking frustrating, is the thing. Louis's literally so close but so far away and the worst thing about it is that Harry can do absolutely nothing about it.
Finally at 07:21 am he decides to get out of bed and go get coffee. He need caffeine.
The halls are empty and silent when he walks out his bedroom. It's so unnerving and it makes his heart ache so much and he's suddenly so angry. So fucking angry that something ruined Louis. Something broke Louis. He's not even sure if he's angry at himself or him.
He should've known Louis wasn't ready. He should've fucking known. But he didn't. He should've told Louis that he knew he was uncomfortable. But he didn't. He can't help but feel like he failed Louis.
Everything is just so fucking wrong.
He's planning to immediately make himself a cup of coffee as soon as he gets to the kitchen, but his plan quickly vanishes as soon as he enters the kitchen, only to find Louis sitting on one of the stools with a cup of tea in his hands.
When Harry stops dead in his tracks, Louis looks up from where his gaze is focused on the cup. His eyes are rimmed red and Harry's angry. Louis has been crying because of him.
They stare each other down for a minute before Louis takes a deep breath and a small smile appears on his face. "Morning."
"Morning," Harry replies, standing frozen in his spot. Should he move to sit across Louis? Should he stay where he is? He doesn't know.
"I made you coffee," Louis points to the coffee machine and Harry follows his gaze, seeing a steaming batch of black coffee.
Harry moves to the cupboard and pulls out a cup. "Thanks," He says and walks over to the machine, pouring his cup full of coffee. The air around them is so stiff and Harry fucking hates it. Despises it.
Unsurely, he takes a seat across from Louis, who's eyes are fixed on his cup. Neither one of them says anything.
Until, "I'm sorry."
Are his cheeks wet? Yes. Those are definitely tears. He hadn't even realized he was crying until now.
Louis' head immediately snaps up,
tears running down his beautiful face. "What are you sorry for? I'm the one who fucked up."
"No, you didn't," Harry replies and sets his mug down on the counter to wipe the tears off of his face. "It was me. I pushed you and-"
"You didn't push me! I said I wanted to!" Louis sobs, cheeks so fucking red and tears so fucking real and still so fucking tragically beautiful.
"But-" Harry starts to say, but then gets cut off by Louis.
"You asked me multiply times if I wanted to and I said yes," Louis slides out of his own chair and quickly walks over to stand in between Harry's legs, he throws his arms around Harry's neck and sobs into his chest. "If wasn't your fault, Harry, I'm sorry. It wasn't."
Wrapping his arms around Louis' waist, Harry cries into the crook of Louis' neck. "No, I'm sorry." I'm sorry that this had to happen to you.
They sob in each other's arms for five minutes straight, not once pulling away. When Harry does eventually pull away, he takes Louis' cheeks into his hand, wiping away the tears. "Baby, what happened last night? Why did you feel the need to...?"
Louis eyes shift to the ground and he pulls back his arms to wrap them around his middle. He glances at Harry with tears in his pretty eyes. "I just...I just-I," He takes a deep breath. "I heard what Nick said and I just felt so fucking stupid because I can't even give you sex. You're a fucking grown man and I can't give you sex," Immediately there's tears streaming down his face again and Harry just. Harry is just so fucking angry.
"Baby," He cries, Louis' face still in his hands. "You're so much more important than sex. You're worth more than sex for me. Don't you understand that?"
"But Harry-" Louis leans his forward against Harry's chest, silent tears running down. "-eventually you'll grow tired of waiting."
"Never," He immediately replies. "I will never get tired of waiting for you. I'll wait eternities and more for you. And even after that if you don't want to have sex, I'll still be by your side," He says, tilting Louis' head up to look him in the eyes. "Because you're the love of my life and all that I really need is you."
Louis cries into Harry's chest after that, hands clutching Harry's shirt tightly. And all that Harry can do is kiss Louis' forehead and whisper that it's going to be okay.
Because that's the only way to reassure Louis that he will never leave. Ever.
Me: *slaps self in face* you are not crying, you piece of shit. YOU ARE NOT CRYING.
Anyway, I appreciate comments and kudos and I'll be seeing you Tuesday!:)
Chapter 19: n i n e t e e n
This is honestly so short and it's only a filler. But I dunno, I find it cute. It's only around 2K, sorry!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Every time you smile for me
Takes me a while to bring myself back
Cause your all that
And I just had to let you know
That I'm screaming out in the crowd for you
Which, okay, he shouldn't be because the space is relatively small. But still, that doesn't stop him from pacing around in the tiny waiting room.
The secretary, a young male with sad blue eyes (kind of ironic considering that he's working as a therapist secretary) and constant frown on his face, keeps sending him annoyed glances.
He's the only one in the waiting room and he thanks whoever's above for that. Who knows what the papers would've said if they found him at a therapist.
The secretary, finally having enough of his pacing and worrying and hand running through his hair, huffs and looks over at him. He has a tight smile on his face. "Mister Styles, I assure you that you have absolutely nothing to worry about. Dr. Stevens has been doing this for years."
Of course he knows that Doctor Stevens has been doing this for years and that he's good at what he does. That's why Harry and Louis picked him to be Louis' therapist only a few days ago when they were searching around.
But still. That doesn't stop him from worrying. His boyfriend's in there with a complete stranger. Louis must feel so lonely and scared and -
Or he's actually talking with the therapist and that's helping him, his conscious pops up.
Sighing, Harry takes a seat on one of the chairs that's closets to the office door. The door that reads 'Dr. Stevens, Therapist.'
The only sound in the waiting room is coming from the typing on the computer that's currently keeping the secretary busy. Harry glances around. It's a nice waiting room, paintings of flowers on the light blue walls and fancy chairs placed next to each other.
But he doesn't focus on that, no. His mind is going a hundred miles per hour just thinking of Louis alone on the other side of the wall. Is he stressing? Is he crying? Does he want Harry with him?
Nervously, he starts bouncing his right leg up and down very fast, causing the heel of his boot to make a very annoying sound every time it meets the wood floors. Without really realizing it, he starts biting his thumb nail. Which is kind of hypocritical of him, seeing as how he constantly scolds Louis when he does it, but still. He's just very nervous.
Harry's sure that he's worrying more than Louis is. As soon as they arrived, Louis greeted the therapist with a friendly smile, kissed Harry on the cheek and disappeared into the office. It felt so wrong.
Finally, after what feels like eons and Harry receiving very annoyed glares from the secretary, the office door opens. Harry jumps up, maybe too faster, and takes a few steps to stand next to Louis, who's giving the therapist a tiny little smile.
"It was nice meeting you, Louis," Dr. Stevens says, smiling down at the tiny man. He looks nice enough, small glasses resting on the bridge of his nose, hair almost white and a skinny figure. But he has a very friendly face. Harry likes that.
Louis nods and offers his hand to the therapist -his therapist- shaking it when when Dr. Stevens locks their hands together. "You too."
Placing his arm around Louis' waist, Harry glares down at the therapist (he loves being tall). It's probably unnecessary, seeing as how the Doctor is going to be helping Louis. But, whatever. Harry is just very over protective of his boy. He tightens his hold on Louis' tiny waist, smiling down at Louis. He knows he's whipped. "Ready to go?"
Louis smiles up at him, looking incredibly fond himself. "Yeah," He says, eyes twinkling. He looks to the Doctor again, nodding. "So I'll be calling you in two weeks time?"
The therapist nods, eyes observing over the young couple. He smiles. "Don't forget. It's important that we have the calls even when you're on tour."
Harry's heart jumps a little when he hears that Louis is coming back on tour with him, out of free will.
After that, Louis thanks his new therapist and Harry just nods. They walk back to the car in comfortable silence, Harry's arm around Louis waist and the smaller of the two resting his head on his boyfriend's shoulder. He's probably tired.
They've been driving for about six minutes, it's not like Harry counted or anything, ha, that would be ridiculous, when curiosity finally gets the better of him. He glances to Louis, who's sitting with his head turned, looking out the window and chin resting in one of his hands. He takes a deep breath, looking at the road ahead of them. "So...how was it?"
A tiny snicker escapes Louis, almost like he was just waiting for Harry to ask that question. He turns his head to face Harry, smirk playing on his thin lips. "Was okay. I like 'im."
Harry nods, jaw tense and eyes set on the road. Louis suddenly takes his free and into his own, bringing it up to his lips and kissing Harry's knuckles softly. It's more cute than it's suppose to be. "Thank you of being concerned, but I don't really see why you're so tense. I'm doing this to...get better, remember?"
Of course I remember, he doesn't say. Instead he tightens his hand around Louis', quickly glancing at him with a small smile on his face. "Wanna go out to eat?"
Louis arches his eyebrows, looking at Harry like he's crazy. "Won't you get mobbed or summat?"
Harry tries to shrug, but it probably comes out looking very awkward, seeing as how one of his hands is on the steering wheel and the other one intertwined with Louis'. "But when will we ever get a normal date? Please?"
Sighing, Louis runs a hand through his hair. Today it's in a quiff and Harry finds himself wondering if Louis' ever considered a career as a hairdresser. He'd be good at it. Maybe Harry will ask him to play with his hair later.
After what feels like an hour of silence, Louis sighs again. "I guess we can."
Harry grins. He may be so completely in love with his boy but Louis is just as whipped as him.
They find a small little café in the quieter part of London, near Harry's house. It's cute, a real relaxing feeling to it, and it's empty. Which, Harry send a big 'Thanks' to above.
He grips Louis' hand tightly, walking into the café and sends a nod to the bot behind the counter. He stares at them blankly.
They take a seat in the far left corner. It's a bit secluded and the table is way too big for two people. But, whatever. They make it work.
"This is nice," Louis says from where he's sitting across Harry. Underneath the table, their feet are locked together. "Reminds me of our first date."
Harry raises an eyebrow and rests his chin in his hand. "Our first date was at a stadium in Stockholm."
A gasp escapes Louis, body slightly leaning into the seat. Almost like he's just received the most shocking news in the entire world. "You liar! You said that was an adventure!"
"It was a date disguised as an adventure," Harry shrugs, placing his forearms on the table. He's feeling a bit tired, mostly because they woke up really early this morning without any reason whatsoever. Maybe after this he'll go take a nap. Maybe drag Louis with him. Or, maybe Louis will come willingly.
Smiling fondly at Harry, Louis shakes his head, hair-strand falling onto his face. "You're a child," He replies, taking Harry's hand into his own. Harry loves when Louis plays with his fingers. Makes him feel all giddy inside. "But I'm talking about that time you said it was a 'Friendly Dinner between friends'."
Harry frowns when he thinks back to that day. They got mobbed and Louis had a panic attack and Johnson was shitting on their heads for it. "Wasn't a date. Was a friendly dinner," He teases, smirking lazily at his boyfriend (he's never going to get used to that).
"Sure," Louis replies, throwing him a knowing wink. It's a wink that looks like the one Niall usually sent people when Louis and Harry weren't together but still fonding heavily over each other. Harry understands that wink now.
Suddenly, a bouncing ball of energy stands in front of their table. When Harry looks up, he's met with the sight of a small girl with curly blonde locks and glasses over her eyes. She looks young, can't be a day over eighteen, and her features are friendly. She's pretty. "Hi!" She greets excitedly, smile big. "I'm Angie and I'll be your waitress, is there some-"
Her voice stops when she finally really looks who sits in front of her. Her face's frozen after that, mouth hanging open and eyes intensely looking at them. Oh, so she's a fan. Harry curses, not because of that, but because he had hoped that Louis and him will have a cute and quiet date without being interrupted.
"Oh my gosh," She suddenly says, voice shaky and high pitched and tears almost in her eyes. "You're...you're...."
Here it comes, Harry thinks, bracing himself and smiling brightly up at her
"Louis Tomlinson!!!" She shrieks, eyes big and happy and excited and wait-
Confusedly, Harry turns his gaze to Louis, who looks even more confused than Harry feels. The boy behind the counter looks at them with a calm and collected expression, almost like he's used to it.
Louis has an eyebrow raised in Angie's direction. He shifts around in his seat, letting go of Harry's hand. He doesn't look all that uncomfortable. "Uhm, yes?"
Hurriedly, she rips off a piece of paper on the notepad she's holding in her hands, putting the paper and pen on the table, and with shaky hands she slides them to Louis. "Can you sign this, please?" She asks, voice rushed and her entire body shaking.
This is usually the reaction Harry gets.
"Sure?" Louis says, not really knowing what's going on but still scribbling down his signature on the tiny piece on paper.
When he hands it back, Angie takes it in her hands carefully, like she's afraid of damaging the paper. She puts it in her apron, and then looks at Louis. "I've been on your side since day one. I even have a twitter account dedicated to you!"
"Thanks?" Louis says, voice still laced with confusion. Honestly, Harry can relate. "Would you...like a photo?"
Angie's eyes almost bulge out of her skull, eyes so wide. She nods excitedly and retrieves her phone in her jean pocket. "Yes, please!"
Suddenly, there's a phone being stopped in Harry's hand. Angie looks at him. "You wouldn't mind taking a photo of me and Louis, would you?"
He honestly doesn't even know what's going on at the moment. He's so confused.
"I...guess not?" He says, opening the phone's camera. Louis quickly stands up and places his arm around Angie's waits. She's still shaking uncontrollably. Harry snaps two photos, just for the fun, and hands Angie back her phone. "There you go."
She doesn't even at the photo before she's turning to face Louis again, looking at him the way Harry looks at him. Like he's everything. "Honestly, when you and Harry get married, you're going to be the better Styles."
It doesn't even hurt. In fact, it makes Harry bite back a smile. Louis Styles. Harry Tomlinson. Honestly, he can't decide which one is better. Maybe they'll just merge their last names. Styles-Tomlinson. Tomlinson-Styles. There's still time to go over that.
Louis throws his head back, laughing. "Thank you, love. Give me your twitter name and then I'll give you a follow, yeah?"
After Angie shakily gives her twitter name and takes their orders, Louis turns to Harry with a smirk on his face, eyes twinkling. "Not even been a full year and I'm already stealing all your fans."
"You're right," Harry tsks, playing along. He leans back into his seat with a frown on his face. "First you take Niall away from me with all your charm and now this? Pretty soon I'll be jobless because of you."
Louis giggles, cheeks the prettiest pink. "Leave Niall alone. 'S not my fault that he's so endeared with me."
"So I'm not the only one who's noticed his creepy obsession with you?" Harry asks playfully. If Niall had heard him now he'd probably get slapped repeatedly.
Louis would get cooed at for being cute.
"Hey!" Louis protest, a big smile on his face. "Don't call him creepy. Do I call you creepy for having a weird obsession with me?"
Harry laughs, loving the way Louis knows that Harry's his and he's Harry's.
They're going to get married one day, no lie.
The rest of date goes on like that- playful banter between in love boyfriends. Angie ends up giving Louis a free tea, much to Louis' protest.
Harry doesn't mind that Louis has his own fans now because no matter what, he still takes the number one spot of being Louis' fan.
Angie is me :/ no joke. Next chapter will be longer!
Time to pull a One Direction on you all and surprise you by announcing that there's only 2/3 more chapters left and an epilogue.
Funny, right? Hahaha...haha...ha *silently slips out the door without anybody noticing*
I'll see you Monday!
Chapter 20: t w e n t y
I am so sorry for the late update! My internet kept messing around and it didn't upload. Sorry again!
Chapter from Louis' pov.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
If I showed you my flaws
If I couldn't be strong
Tell me honestly
Would you still love me the same?
Touring America is...wild, to say the least. It's big and loud and scary and maybe, somewhat, exciting. It's nothing like Louis' ever seen, and he is amazed. Every state, every city, every town, is so much different than the previous one and Louis often finds himself looking out of the bus window, admiring the country.
They're about a month and a half into the tour when it suddenly hits him. It doesn't appear out of nowhere like his love for Harry did, but it still comes crashing through his body fast. It makes his head dizzy, and he has to sit down when he realizes it.
He is okay. Well, he's as okay as he can be, but he somehow still is okay. He lets more people touch him. He touches more people. He kisses Harry deeper and even let their touches linger for moments too long. And it doesn't scare him. Or, it doesn't scare him like it used to.
He's very aware of the fact that only he can make himself okay. Only he can be his own hero and save himself. Sure, other people (read: Harry) makes his heartache a bit less, but not even they can save him. Only he can.
And he's doing it. He's saving himself. It's like he was in a dark pit full of nothingness and then suddenly, there was light and he climbed out of the dark and into the light.
Sure, his memories still haunt him, but he's not going to let that get him under. He's going to show that he's strong, stronger than to let what happened to him control his life. He's okay.
When they're in Chicago, after his session with Dr. Stevens, he tells Harry what he's planning on doing. They arrived a day earlier than planned, so the entire crew booked into the hotel closet to the stadium and that's where they're currently staying at, the night before the show.
Harry stands on the balcony, watching the sunset over the buildings, making it look beautiful. Louis thinks that Harry still looks more beautiful than the beautiful view he's watching. He walks out of the glass doors quietly and wraps his arms his boyfriend's waist, smiling when he feels Harry's fingers start to rub circles on his wrist.
Pressing a small kiss to the nape of Harry's neck, he rest his head between Harry's shoulder blades. "Wanna talk to you," He says quietly, eyes closed and enjoying the feeling of Harry in his arms.
A hum leaves Harry's mouth, the wind belong his long hair. Louis loves when Harry's hair does that, it's very tickly. Harry's fingers are still rubbing over Louis' wrist. "About?"
"Something," Louis murmurs, feeling his eyes drooping closed. All of a sudden he feels tired and he doesn't know why. Maybe it's because everything is so relaxed right now.
Turning around, Harry wraps his arms around Louis' waist, his tiny boyfriend's head resting on his shoulder. "Wanna talk here or inside?"
For the smallest amount of time it's silent before Louis looks up, making eye contact with Harry. Blue meet green and everything's okay. "Inside," He says, never once breaking eye contact with Harry.
They break apart and then takes hold each other's hand, Harry's large one engulfing Louis' tiny one. It fits. Everything about them fits. They slowly, like they have all the time in the world, make their way over to the bed that's covered with a white duvet.
Louis takes a seat on the pillows, much to Harry's protest, and then Harry takes a seat opposite him. They have a state down before Louis can't hold it anymore and cracks a small smile, Harry following his actions.
"So what is it you wanna talk to me about?" Harry asks, taking Louis' hand and playing with his fingers. It's more endearing than it's suppose to be. Louis eyes are locked on their fingers.
"Uhm," He begins, refusing to look up. He doesn't know how to phrase this without it sounding bad. The words play in his mind for a few seconds before he takes a deep breath and finally looks up, finding that Harry's eyes are already on him. "I...want to leave?"
Immediately, Harry tenses. His eyes go abnormally wide and his hand suddenly holds Louis' hand in a death grip. "What?" He breathes out quickly, nothing like his usual slow drawl on words.
In his head, Louis is slapping his forehead a hundred times over, mumbling the word 'stupid' to himself. That did not sound right. At all. And seeing Harry's reaction confirms it. It's clear that Harry's still afraid of Louis leaving him because of what happened last time. But Louis just wants it to be clear that he's not leaving Harry. Not now, not ever.
Quickly, he moves over to bed to where Harry is and placing himself on Harry's lap, wrapping his arms around his boy's neck. He's still so tense. "I'm not leaving you," He says, looking Harry in the eyes. He feels Harry's body relax under him and the green eyes lad breathes a sigh a relief. "I just-" Louis begins again, trying to word his phrase better. "I just wanna leave for a day or two."
Now Harry's looking at him like he's crazy. He's not. At least, he thinks he isn't. The younger lad even tilts his head to the side, like he can't quite comprehended what's coming out of Louis' mouth. "Why?" He asks, voice not quite small but not very loud either. "Is the tour getting too much for you?"
Louis shakes his head, hair falling in his face. "No," He replies, and then softly starts to rub Harry's cheek with his thumb. He knows Harry likes that. "I wanna go to me mum. I...want to tell her."
With a raised eyebrow, Harry looks at him. It's clear that he doesn't understand what Louis means, so the blue eyes beauty lets out a dramatic sigh. "I wanna tell her what happened to me."
Harry's arms go around his waist and he feels the hold there tighten, like Harry's afraid of letting him go. Louis can relate. Harry nuzzles his forehead on Louis' chest, making a sound that almost sounds like purring. "Why now? If you don't mind me asking."
Louis starts running his hand through Harry's hair. The previous day on the bus he'd braided it and now it's extra curly. He likes it. "I just...she's me mum, ya' know? And I think it's her right to know," He says softly. "I mean, I've kept it from her so long and it's not like I don't trust her because I do. So I just...yeah, I just feel like she needs to know."
"Are you sure?" Harry doesn't even look up from where he's head is resting. Louis thinks that if he keep petting Harry's hair the younger lad may end up falling asleep way too soon.
Considering what Harry's asking for a moment, Louis shakes his head. He's sure. "I'm absolutely one hundred percent sure."
Finally, Harry looks up with a serious look on his face. Louis' hand stills where it's petting Harry's head and the green eyes boy watches him for a moment before he takes a deep breath. "You're coming back, though, right?"
"Haz," Louis begins, a small smile already forming on his lips. "I'm sure if I don't come back, you'll just come get me and drag me back with you," He says playfully.
Harry doesn't laugh. Or even smile.
"Okay," The curly haired lad nods, looking like he's going what Louis said over in his head. "Okay, I trust you."
Louis takes Harry's face into his hands and places a deep and meaningful, long kiss to his boyfriends lips. It's so amazing. It's so them.
When they pull apart, they look into each other's eyes. All that can be seen is love. Louis rests his forehead against Harry's and breathes in deeply. "Will it be too much if I ask you to take me to the airport?"
A laugh escapes Harry's mouth. "You want to leave me so soon?" He asks in a playful tone. Louis smiles.
"Figured the sooner I'll leave the sooner I'll be back," He pulls away from Harry and stands up from the bed. He moves to the chair in the corner and bends down to pick up an overnight bag. He smiles when he looks at Harry. "Can't leave you, you have all my clothes."
Harry smiles and pulls Louis into his arms when he starts walking towards the bed again. "Plane ticket?"
"Already booked," Louis shrugs, looking nonchalant. "Leaving at around midnight tonight."
Harry nods. "Okay," He says, sounding a bit sleepy. A yawn leaves his mount before he kisses Louis on the forehead. "G5."
"G5," Louis smiles.
At the airport, it's quite difficult to say goodbye, even if it's only for a day or two. Louis and Harry both have tears in their eyes as Louis walks away.
They won't ever admit it, though.
It's early in the morning when Louis arrives in his hometown. The fresh air hits him as soon as he steps off the train, the clock on the wall reading 8:20 AM. He looks around him, at the few people getting off the train, rushing to their destinations.
Louis takes off in the direction of his house, seeing as it's not very far from the train station. The walk to his old home is filled with thoughts of what he's going to say. How's he going to say it? Is he just going to blurt it out? Will his mum cry?
Soon before long Louis finds himself in front of the gate of his old home. It looks exactly how he last saw it. Big and white and homely. But now it also looks scary.
He's trembling, he soon realizes.
What if his mum finds him disgusting after this? What if she doesn't want anything to do with him? His mum has been his rock for so long and if he were to lose her now he'd break.
With shaky hands, he pushes the gate open and slowly, with legs that feel like jelly, makes his way over to the front door. When he's in front of it, he lifts his hand to knock.
But he doesn't.
He stands there, with a bag in the one hand and the other hand raised, balled up in a fist, ready to knock. He suddenly can't bring it himself to tap the door. His hand is literally shaking. He's afraid.
There's a sound in the house, sounding like something, or somebody, falling over before the door suddenly flies open and none other than Felicité Tomlinson is on the other side of the threshold.
They stare at each other. Blue meeting blue. Before she suddenly has a big smile on her face, moving moving and hugging get older brother. She's taller than him. "Lou!" She says, no yells, happily. The sound is so loud that not before long there's two pairs of feet running down the hallway to where they're standing.
Phoebe and Daisy, dressed in their school uniforms, come running to them, both having big smiles on their faces. As soon as they reach the, already hugging, pair, they each throw their arms around Louis' legs, nuzzling their cheeks against Louis' thighs.
If that's not enough, Lottie comes strolling down the hallway, bleach hair in a braid and face full of makeup. As soon as she sees the scene in front of her, she quickly run over to them, going behind Louis so that she can also properly hug him.
Louis is literally squished in between his younger sisters and it feels like he can't breathe. All in a good way, of course.
A little deeper into the house, Louis guesses in the kitchen from what he can hear, there's another sound. Almost like a pan falling. Then there's footsteps.
"Kids?" Louis recognizes his mother's voice. "What are you all-" Her words get cut off when she walks into the hallway to see the scene in front of her. She observes then for a moments, almost like she can't quite believe what she's seeing, before a soft smile appears on her face. "Lou."
Somehow, he manages to wiggle himself out of the death grip his siblings has on him and move over to his mum, who still stands still like she can't move. When he reaches her, he throws his arms around her neck, squeezing her tightly, much like his sister had squeezed him. "Mum," He breathes out happily, into her ear.
Arms are around his waist and there's a hand running up and down his back soothingly. "Lou," His mum says, loudly. "What are you doing here?"
When he pulls back, he turns his back to the wall so that he can look at his sisters, who are all looking at him happily, and his mum, who has tears in her eyes. "I just wanted to visit," He shrugs, nonchalantly.
"Well," His mum begins, wiping her hand on get apron. Looks like she's still busy with breakfast. "We were just about to have brekkie before you showed up. Care to join?"
He nods and then follows his mum into the kitchen, his younger siblings all following after them like lost puppies. He puts his bag down next to the refrigerator.
They all pile up in the kitchen, looking a each other, like they don't know what to expect next. Jay lets out a frustrated sigh. "What's this then?" She asks, hand on her hip. "Go wait in the dining room. Louis will help me carry the food out."
After much protest, the girls finally leave, all mumbling how it's unfair that Jay gets to have Louis. She sigh, shaking het head fondly at her kids. Then he turns to him, eyes serious. "What's wrong?"
And, oh. Okay. Like she can just detect that something is wrong. Maybe Louis is giving off that vibe. He internally curses himself.
Plastering a fake smile on his face, g turns to her. There's no crinkles by his eyes and he knows he immediately notices it. "Nothing," He lies, voice steady. He's always been a good actor.
Eyes scan over his face, up then down and then up and then down again before she sighs, a hand running through her hair. "Is it Harry?"
Louis scoffs. His mother probably thinks that every relationship he's in is doomed. Every relationship was before meeting Harry, but that's only because he had to go through heartache before meeting the one.
He crosses his arms over his chest and rolls his eyes, then looks at his mother. "No, mum. Harry and I are fine. Can't I just visit me family without them finding it suspicious?"
"Guess not," Jay mumbles, eyes locked on the plate with the waffles on it. She always spoils the kids with breakfast. "C'mon, then. Help me carry this out."
Breakfast is filled with questions like 'Why didn't you personally tell me you are dating Harry Styles?' (Lottie) 'Can we meet One Direction?' (Fizzie) 'Are you going to visit us more from now on?' (Phoebe) and 'Did you bring gifts?' (Daisy). Throughout breakfast, his mum keeps sending him weird looks. Almost like she's analyzing him. Doris and Ernest are still upstairs, Daisy informs him, Mum feeds them when we're gone.
After breakfast, the two eldest sisters go upstairs to get their school bags. The twins looks at Jay expectantly. "Are you going to take us to school, Mum?" Daisy asks, feet swinging on the chair where she's sitting.
Jay shakes get head and collects the empty plates all in a pile. "Ask Lottie and Fiz to take you today, I wanna talk to Lou."
The girls leave after that, all hugging and kissing Louis on the forehead. He promises them that he'll still be there when they get back from school. He means it.
"Lou," Jay sighs, loading the dishes into the dishwasher. "I know something's wrong. Just tell me, yeah?"
Louis rolls his eyes, leaning against the doorframe of the kid then. "How'd you know?"
She stands up, undoing her apron and placing it on the counter. The look she gives him makes him feel crazy. "You're my son. Of course I know when something's wrong," She runs a hand through her hair, moving closer to him. "Tell me, is it Harry?"
"No, it's not," He stands up and gestures toward the living room. "Let's talk in there, yeah?"
She nods and follow him into the living room, taking a seat opposite him. They have a stare down, neither one of then saying anything. It's so weird, Louis thinks. He notices that he's shaking again.
He takes a deep breath, avoiding eye contact with his mum when he finally opens his mouth to let the words out, "I know that you know that I've acted a bit weird the past few months..."
His mum nods, crossing her legs. She's gripping the couch tightly. Nervously. Maybe she afraid of what he's about to admit. He himself is.
He glances around the room, anything to avoid looking into her eyes. He's scared. The living room is filled with photos of when he still lived in the home. He smiles slightly before turning his attention back to her.
"There's a good reason for that," He says, eyes fixed on her forehead. It's a great illusion, he reckons. Maybe he'll start doing it more. He takes a deep breath. "A few months ago, at the beginning of Summer, I was working at a bar. You know that right?" He asks, picking at his jeans.
She nods again. He continues, "Well, one night, uhm, I was locking up. And, like, throughout the night there was this guy, like he was kind of weird. Anyway, uhm. I was walking home and it was late. And like, he followed me? I guess. Yeah..."
He trails off, and his mother's lips his already quivering. He swallows the lump forming in his throat and moves over to her, placing his hand on her knee. She's shaking, he notices.
He runs his hand over her knee and forces his voice to come out right. He will not appear weak. He needs to be strong now. "And like he sort of attacked me. Well, not sort of. He did attack me. And then he...he raped me..." It's the first time he says those words. And it doesn't make everything better but it feels like a mountain is lifted off his shoulders.
Jay is crying, her hand over her mouth and tears running down her face. Louis so desperately wants to comfort her, tell her he's okay. But he doesn't know how. He removes his hand.
"Oh, baby," Jay says, voice small and sounding insecure. Immediately, she wraps her arms around Louis, rubbing up his back up and down. Comforting him. "Oh, my baby, I'm so sorry."
Louis buries his head in the crook of her neck, hands going around her waist. "You're not mad at me?" He asks, sounding like a small boy.
"Baby, no," She pulls back, eyes rimmed red, wiping away the tears with her hand. "Don't you ever think that. I'd never be mad at you..." She trails off, looking unsure before opening get mouth again, "Why didn't you tell me sooner?"
He shrugs. "I was afraid, I guess. When I told Harry, his reaction was sort of like yours, expect tears. But I didn't think everybody would react the way he did."
"Harry knows?" Jay questions, cheeks stained with tears. Upstairs, a cry can be heard from one of the twins and Louis wonders if his mother is going to go upstairs. She doesn't.
He nods. "Yeah. Even got me to go to a therapist," He smiles, trying to make it sound like a joke. It comes out very weakly.
His mother starts crying again and as childish as it may seem, Louis literally climbs into her lap. Much like he would do when he were younger and upset and she'd comfort him.
"It's okay, mum," He says, rubbing up and down her back. Her face is currently on his chest, sobbing. He feels more bad for her than for him. "It's okay, mum. I'm okay." He says, because really. He is.
Even if it will take a while for everybody to be convinced, he will show that he is okay and that he is getting better.
I appreciate comments and kudos.
See you Monday :)
You look so beautiful in this light
Your silhouette over me
The way it brings out the blue in your eyes
Is the Tenerife Sea
They finish with the American leg of the tour pretty fast, even if Harry has to say so himself. The US and Canada and Mexico is wild. Somehow, the days just flies by in a hazy blur of screaming and posters and Liam and Niall next to him and then later, cuddles with Louis.
Everything's perfect. Everything's exactly how Harry wanted it to be from the start.
They have a week off before they should start their last leg of the tour, meaning England. So Harry makes a proposal late one night, just after they've played their second to last show in America.
Louis looks at him a bit wary when he asks, but when Harry gives him the puppy-dog-eyes he just sighs and mutters a 'Yes', mumbling under his breath about boys with curls.
And just like that, Louis's going to meet Harry's family.
"You're nervous," Harry says, eyes fixed on the road. They're in the Range Rover because it was the only vehicle big enough for all their suitcases (Louis' suitcases). Harry tried telling him that they're only going for five days, but Louis just ignored him, stuffing a bunch of random items into his bag.
"I'm not nervous," Louis bites back, a bit too fast. His voice sounds shaky, too, and Harry can tell that he's totally nervous. He's not even sure why because Louis has absolutely nothing to worry about. His family will love Louis just as much as him. No, wait. Nobody can love him as much as Harry does. Louis doesn't even look at Harry, eyes fixed on the road ahead of them. "You're nervous."
The only thing Harry can do is laugh, left hand on the steering wheel, right hand laced with Louis' left hand. "Why would I be nervous?" He asks, quickly look over at Louis, only to see him biting his nails. Harry would scold him, because Louis has the prettiest hands and he would be damned if nail biting is going to ruin it, but he knows that Louis won't even listen to him.
"Because," Louis begins. "You're taking your future husband to meet your mother. I'd be nervous."
It doesn't make Harry's heart skip a beat. Or three. It absolutely does not.
He tightens his hold on Louis' hand. "I wasn't nervous when I met your mum. You can relax."
Louis stares at him blankly. "You didn't even know you were meeting me mum when you met her! You can't say shit, Harry."
Well that's fair. But still. If Harry knew he was meeting Jay, he still wouldn't have been nervous. He thinks.
"Look," Harry says, he brings their locked hands to his mouth and presses a kiss to Louis' knuckles, feeling how shaky he is. "You don't have to worry. They'll love you."
If Harry says so himself, it sounds very convincing. Louis doesn't look convinced. He sighs and runs a hand through his hair. It's the one that he was previously biting on.
"Harry," Louis says, sounding unsure and Harry just wants to make Louis not nervous. Not sacred of meeting his parents. "What if your mum resents me for what happened last time?"
It doesn't really take a genius to figure out that the previous time this was suppose to happens still haunts Louis. And even though it hurts Harry thinking about it, he understands because Louis did it for him. To protect him.
He just wishes Louis would see it like that, also. He can't help but sigh.
"Lou, you did that to protect me," He says, looking over at Louis. When he looks back onto the road, he pulls the car over and turns to face Louis fully. He takes both of Louis' hands into his own, rubbing small circles into them. "You need to accept that you didn't do it for a selfish reason. You did it for me, yeah?"
Louis doesn't looks up at him, eyes cast downwards and eyelashes casting over his cheekbones and he's everything that's beautiful. When he does look up, his eyes are bluer than the sky and Harry is in love. "Okay."
Harry reaches over and pulls his boy into a tight hug. He rubs soothing circles onto his back, trying to let Louis relax. "Alright now?" He asks when they pull apart. Louis nods, shaking a big less and Harry smiles, dimple popping. He knows Louis loves that. "Give us a kiss then, yeah?"
When their lips meet it's explosions. It's the ocean meeting the shore. It's the birds singing. It's the lighthouse shining. It's everything that makes sense.
They arrive in Holmes Chapel an hour later. The Range Rover stops in front of Harry's old house. It doesn't look like it's changed a bit.
Harry climbs out of the car, walking over to Louis' side and opening the door. Louis climbs out, hand in Harry's and smiling up at him. "I'm relaxed," He reassures Harry. Like Harry didn't know it.
Pressing a kiss to Louis' forehead, Harry smiles. "C'mon," He says, once he's pulled away. He's not quite sure how it's possible, but his lips feel so damn tingly. "We'll get the luggage later. Mum's probably dying to me you."
When Louis nods, Harry tightens his hold on Louis' hand and starts walking towards the front door. Once they're standing in front of it, he knock. It's probably silly considering that it's his old home, but he's lost his house key so many times that it's his only option.
Not even a minute later, his mum opens the door, smile so big on her face that Harry's afraid it might explode. Her hair's up in a ponytail and Harry feels so lucky to have two of the people he loves most so close.
"Harry," Anne pulls him into a hug, squeezing him tightly. He doesn't let go of Louis' hand. The hug continues for about thirty seconds before his mum pulls away and looks over at Louis. She smiles. "You must be Louis," She says, genuinely. "Wow, you're absolutely gorgeous, aren't you?"
A blush creeps onto Louis' cheeks and he looks so lovely. He extends his hand. "Thank you, Mrs. Twist," He says, all traces of being nervous gone. They shake hands and it's not awkward one bit. Harry's thankful.
"Call me Anne, darling," Anne says. "Please, come in."
They all walk into the house, Harry and Louis' hand still locked together. Louis looks around, observing the surrounding. When they walk through the hallway, Harry can see that he's looking at the photo of Harry when he used to be a little boy.
"Do you want anything to drink?" Anne asks once they've arrived in the living room, Harry and Louis taking a seat on the two-seater couch.
"No, thank you, Anne," Louis smiles, all crinkly eyed and very charming. Harry wouldn't be surprised if Louis has his mother already wrapped around his pinky. He knows that he is.
"Nah, mum, I'm good," Harry says, maybe a bit too late. That's what he gets for admiring Louis for too long.
Anne takes a seat on the one-seater across from them, eyes scanning over them carefully. "Okay then," She says, eyes darting between the two of them.
None of them says anything for about two minutes, it's not like Harry counted, or anything. Then Anne clears her throat. "So, I've been keeping tabs on the two of you," She says, and Harry's quite sure that if she a cup of tea in her hand right now she'd take a sip and look over the rim on the cup at them. "Quite the cute couple, you are."
There's a faint blush of Louis' cheeks when Harry looks over at him, and he's sure that his cheeks are also red. He looks over at his mum. "Are you trying to embarrasses me, Mum?" He asks, playfully. He may be almost twenty-two but he's sure that if he were to be disrespectful towards his mum she'd slap him. Louis also, because Louis is a family man.
Harry wants to have a family with Louis one day.
Anne laughs, a joyful sound and Harry can't help but crack a smile. "No," His mum says after her laughter settles down. "Not trying to embarrass you. Just happy that you finally found somebody you like to commit to them as much as you two."
And all of a sudden Harry can't help but feel guilty because he hasn't even told his mum about his love for Louis. When he looks over at Louis, his eyes are downcast, like he thinks he isn't important enough for Harry to love, and the guilt gets too much.
"Love," He says, loudly. He makes sure that Louis and his mum knows that he loves Louis. "I love him."
He looks over at Louis, only to find him looking at him already. Harry's sure that if Louis were an emoji he'd be that one that's fond. But then again, Harry's probably that one, too.
"Oh?" Anne raises a perfect eyebrow. Harry doesn't even look at her, too lost in the Louis' eyes. Too lost in the love the finds there.
Anne clears her throat, once, twice, three times before she gets their attention. She shakes her head. "Harry, you'll just have to go get Robin at work in about an hour."
He nods, not really comprehending what she's saying before turning to Louis again.
"Come with me," Harry whines an hour later. They've already put their bags upstairs (Louis totally gushed at Harry's old bedroom) and Anne's busy with dinner. They stand outside the house, against the Range Rover.
Louis shakes his head. "No, love," He says. He's not stupid. He knows Anne wants to have 'The Talk' that every mother has with their child's partner with him. Hell, he knows that his own mother had the talk with Harry. "I'm just going to shower quickly," He lies, and he absolutely hates lying to Harry, but this has to be done.
Harry seems oblivious, though. He nods and pecks Louis quickly on the nose. "Okay, I'll see you in less than twenty minutes."
When Harry's off, Louis retrieves back into the house, searching for the kitchen. When he enters it, he finds Anne, chopping what looks like vegetables. He clears his throat, taking a step closer to her. "Hi."
She stops her chopping, looking up at him with a confused smile. "Louis," She says, setting the knife down on the counter. Louis's thankful for that. Who knows what that thing can do. "I thought you went with Harry?"
He shakes his head. "I figured you needed help," He moves to the other side of the counter, standing opposite her. Her eyes follow his every move. "Or, if you just wanted to talk..." He trails off, not exactly knowing what to say.
She raises an eyebrow, only for a moment, before cracking a tiny smile. "You're smart," She says, picking up the knife and starting to cut the vegetables again. She doesn't even look at him when she speaks, "I like you."
Louis swallows, not exactly knowing what to say. So he says the most obvious thing he can think of. "I love Harry."
Her chopping doesn't stop. Her voice is somewhat colder when she talks, "You hurt him."
Fuck, doesn't he know. He feels so fucking quilty, still. No matter how many times Harry tries to convince him that it's okay because he did it for him, he'll still always remember the heartbreaking face that Harry wore when he said he was leaving.
"I'm sorry," He says, because he truly is. He will always be sorry. "I'm so sorry."
The chopping stops. He receives a glare. It's not filled with hatred, or anything, more like she's trying to protect Harry with her eyes. "Louis," She says, voice steady. "You have to understand, Harry's never really loved anybody, and for you just come in and throw everything so upside down is something big." She wipes he hand on the cloth lying beside her. When she looks at him, her eyes are firm. "I will always protect him, though. He's my baby. And he's been hurt enough."
Doesn't Louis know. He sighs, not out of frustration, but more like sadness. "I'm not trying to hurt him. I...I know that he loves me and I know that I love him."
It's silent. Anne looks at him wary. When she doesn't say anything. He opens his mouth again, carefully phrasing the words. "Harry's given me his once empty heart, and I'm doing anything to protect him."
A sigh escapes the woman. It's scary how much she and Harry looks alike. "But don't you see? You didn't change Harry, you made him alive again. Before you he was living a life with no joy. And now there's you and I'm so afraid that if things between you don't work out he'll go back to living like that."
It hits him right in the heart. He's so absolutely sure that he won't ever leave Harry and he will do anything to try to convince Anne. Without thinking, he reaches over the counter and takes her hands in his. He looks her dead in the eyes. "I love Harry. So much. I won't hurt him ever again, I promise."
Her eyes scan him over, trying to detect a lie. When he can't find one, she sighs. A small smile playing on her lips. "Fine then," She says, her hands still in Louis'. It's bigger than his. "Make yourself useful and get me the chicken in the fridge," She says, playfully.
Louis's so glad that the talk is over.
(When Harry and Robin comes home twenty minutes later, they find Anne showing Louis pictures of Harry when he was little.
It probably shouldn't make Harry as happy as it does.)
Louis and Robin quickly hit it off, talking about football and which teams they support. Louis also helps Anne with the dinner, mostly just giving the ingredients to her.
Dinner does by quickly. It's filled with chatter about the biggest nonsense and Harry was right. His family loves Louis.
After dinner, Harry and Louis finds themselves cuddling on the couch in the living room. Robin went upstairs and Anne's busy with the dishes. She insisted that they relax.
There's music playing on the radio.
Louis lays with his head on Harry's shoulder, hand drawing random objects on Harry's chest, over his shirt. "Today was nice."
It's said so softly. Like it's only meant for Harry's ears. Harry can't help but imagine a few years into the future, them exactly in this position with rings on their left hands and in their own home. Maybe they'll have a cat or dog than.
"It was," Harry hums. On the exact moment the radio starts playing 'Kiss Me' by Ed Sheeran and Harry jumps up, an idea suddenly striking him. "Dance with me," He says, holding out his hand for Louis to take. Louis stares at him blankly. "Please?" He tries again.
An eye roll is received before Louis puts his hand in Harry's, letting the curly haired lad pull him up. They move to the middle of the living room. Immediately, Louis puts his arms around Harry's neck and his head on his shoulder. Harry lays his head on Louis' and puts his arms on Louis' waist. It's perfect.
Lie down with me and hold me in your arms
They sway around more than dancing, but Harry's happy about that. He's not a good dancer.
Your hearts against my chest, your lips pressed to my neck, I'm falling for your eyes, but they don't me yet and with a feeling I'll forget, I'm in love now
"This is a nice song," Louis suddenly speaks up. "Imagine if it was that song of dirty dancing that was playing. What's it called again?"
"Time of my life," Harry reminds. "But if it were that song, I'd pick you up like Johnny picked Baby up and I wouldn't ever let you fall."
Louis looks up at him, eyes sparkling with so much emotion and Harry suddenly feels dizzy with the amount of love between them. Louis smiles. "But I already fell."
This feels like falling in love, falling in love, falling in love
"There's just one thing that I can't quite figure out," Anne tells Louis the next morning. She sips on her tea then puts it down on the counter.
"What's that?" Louis asks, tapping his fingers against the counters. He's waiting for Harry to finish his shower and then show him the little town. He's been waiting for twenty minutes.
"You live Doncaster, right?" Anne asks. Louis nods, reaching out and taking a sip of the tea Anne made. It's quite nice. "And Harry lives in London and LA and wherever he feels like. So after the tour...are you moving to London or is he moving to Doncaster or?"
He's never thought about it, he suddenly realizes. And then all of a sudden his mind is working overtime.
What are they going to do after the tour? Are they going to have a long distance relationship? Is one of them going to move? Louis doesn't want to go LA. London is okay, but not LA.
It hurts him thinking about it. What if Harry plans on going to LA? Is he going to leave Louis behind? Is he going to beg Louis to go with him? What are his plans after the tour?
Before Louis can give Anne a reply, Harry comes into the kitchen, dressed in skin right black skinny jeans and his hair up in a bun. When he sees Louis, he smiles.
"Hey," He greets, kissing Louis on the cheek and throwing his arms around his waist. It's very tiny. "Are you ready to go?"
Absentmindedly, Louis nods and gives Anne an goodbye. Immediately when they're outside, Harry takes Louis' hand, pulling him along to wherever.
Harry shows Louis is old school. His shows him the little bakery that he used to work at. He shows him basically every little shop that the small town has to offer. He shows Louis where he got his first kiss.
Louis goes willingly along with him, still deep in thought. It's bugging him now.
Their last stop is a little pond with a few ducks across from it. The grass is greener than green and the water bluer than blue. It's all very cute and romantic.
Louis is scared. He's so, so scared.
Harry takes a seat in the grass and then Louis take a seat in between his legs, back to Harry's chest. They don't say anything and Louis thinks that Harry knows that something is wrong.
Maybe it's like a thing between them.
"Are you okay?" Harry asks, plying with Louis' hair. It's so soft and fluffy. "I can sense that something is wrong."
Louis suddenly sits up and faces Harry. His eyes are so big and maybe a bit wet and his lip is quivering and everything hurts.
He takes a deep breath, not meeting Harry's eyes. "I'm so scared, Harry," He says, and then there's tears running down his face.
Immediately, Harry pulls Louis into his chest. He lets his boy cry on his shoulder, rubbing his back soothingly. "Why are you scared, baby?" He asks once Louis' tears finally calm down a bit.
A hiccup escapes Louis before he finally looks up, eyes rimmed red. He rubs the tears off his cheeks. "After."
Harry frowns, not understanding what Louis means. "What do you mean?"
"After the tour," Louis says. He feels like suck a fucking cry baby but everything hurts. "What are you gonna do after the tour? Are you going to leave me?"
And suddenly everything makes sense. Harry sits back in realization. They've never discussed about them after the tour. It's always been just them and the bus and hotel room and never a constant thing.
But they're strong. They're a strong couple. They're made for each other and they will always be together.
"Baby," Harry says, softly. "You and I are meant for each other. Nothing will break us up."
"But...but what if you go to LA? Are you going to leave me?" Louis asks, unsurely.
An idea strikes him. He moves his hands up to behind his neck and uncaps his cross necklace. When he has it in his hands, he looks up at Louis. "I want you to have this," He says. "So that whenever I'm away, I'll still be with you."
Louis looks at him, cheeks void of any tears. Harry signals for him to come over and Louis obligates. He puts the necklace around Louis' neck, admiring how beautiful Louis looks with it.
"I'll always be in your heart. I'll always be with you," He says, because it's true. Louis doesn't look scared anymore, instead playing with the necklace, a smile on his face.
They'll figure it out. They have to.
"Move in with me," Harry suddenly says later that night when they're already in bed. The idea just hits him fast.
It's perfect because it's not like they don't know what it's like to stay with each other. They're practically married already.
Louis sits up, looking at Harry with big eyes. "What?"
"Move in with me," Harry also sits up, taking Louis' hand into his own. "In my London home, I mean. Not LA."
Louis shakes his head. "No, Harry. I can't do that."
"Why not?" Harry frowns. It's the perfect solution to their problem.
"Because," Louis begins, trying to look for an excuse. "Because it's too soon."
"It's not too soon," Harry argues. It's not. It's the perfect time. They've already seen that they can live together.
Louis lowers his eyes. When he speaks, his words are whispered. "I don't want to live off of your money."
That's ridiculous. Louis' always been independent, financially. He always buys his own stuff. Never let's Harry buy him something. It's actually sad because all that Harry wants to do is spoil him.
"You're not going to be like that," He comforts his boy. "You can buy the groceries, if it will make you feel better," He says, trying to reason with Louis.
Louis looks down, then up, then down. A smile is gracing his lips. "Okay," He says. "I'll move in with you."
And it's settled. They're moving in together.
My name is Char and I think larry are soulmates.
Also, i like kudos and comments.
Next chapter is Monday!:)
I’ll never stop holding your hand
I’ll never stop opening your door
I’ll never stop choosing you babe
I’ll never get used to you
The night that they play the last show of the tour at Wembley, the entire crew decides to go to one of London's most exclusive clubs. Except Lux, of course.
It doesn't take long for everybody to get slightly tipsy, either. Soon enough they're all exchanging funny moments that happened on tour, the funniest being Harry literally tripping over nothing in San Francisco.
It's nice, Louis decides. He quite likes these people and he quite liked the tour and he quite liked what he got out of coming on this tour.
When they hit the two hour mark of being at the club, Louis finds himself in a very awkward situation with a certain band member.
Immediately the people around the table stops talking and looks to Louis' end of the table. The air isn't awkward at all.
Louis stares, wide eyed, at the boy, who's currently down on one knee in front of him. It's all a bit crazy, if he's completely honest. He's sure that if he were a cartoon character right now his jaw would be on the floor. It'll be totally understandable, though. He thinks.
Sighing, Louis tightens his hold on the bottle in his hand. It's beer, only half full and not really very nice, but still. It's something at least. Once again, he glances at the boy in front of him, who's eyes are big and innocent and lovely and clearly intoxicated with alcohol.
Carefully, softly, he places a hand on the boy's shoulder. He wants to let him down in the nicest way possible. Is that even possible? Hopefully he can make it happen. He takes a deep breath, knowing that all the peoples eyes are him. "I'm sorry. I really don't know how to say this...But I can't."
Immediately, there's protest from the man child. He jumps up, like he didn't even know that was such a word as 'no.' Like doesn't understand the concept. He looks absolutely appalled. "What do you mean? I thought you loved me?"
Louis does. He does love him. He loves him so absolutely much. But. "I'm sorry. But I don't really love you like that."
Ironically enough, a remix of 'Marry Me' by Jason Derulo starts playing in the background. When Louis glances at the heavily intoxicated boy again, he can see tears forming in his big, bewildered eyes. He feels guilty, somehow, seeing the boy's hurt expression.
Turning around, he looks at the people around the table, everybody's eyes already on the scene unfolding between them. Most of them looks amused. Louis, if he weren't in the situation right now, would've probably been just as amused. If not more.
Searching around the table, his eyes lands on Harry's, who's sitting opposite him, looking ready to burst out laughing. There's an obvious smirk on his lips, chin resting in his hand and elbow resting on the table. There's a cocktail in front of him, which he's twirling around with his unoccupied hand. Louis wants to slap him. Or get him to help him out. Either one will work.
With a frustrated sigh, realizing that nobody will help him out considering that they're getting amusement out of this, he turns back to the boy. His face still has a hurt look on it, and Louis thinks that he sees a tear. Hopefully it's just his imagination playing tricks on him. "Niall," He says in a soft, yet very firm voice. It's clear that Niall isn't going to change his mind on this topic any time soon. "You don't even like boys, love. You don't really wanna marry us, yeah? You're just a bit drunk."
Niall jumps up, and scoots in next to Louis. He's sitting so close that he's almost sitting on Louis' lap and it should be awkward. It really should, but this is Niall Horan. "But I want ta' marry ya'! And when we're married we are gonna have tons of babies! And you'll be Papa and I'll be Dada and I'll look after you financially and everything will be perfect."
The people around the table all snigger loudly, clearly finding Niall's intoxicated state beyond funny. Harry, though, must find it the funniest because as soon as the words leaves Niall's mouth he lets out a loud bark of laughter. Immediately he slaps a hand over his mouth when he notices that everybody is laughing at him. Well, almost everyone. Niall is busy caressing Louis' cheek with his thumb like a flower petal.
It's not weird. At least, to these people it's not.
Louis sends Harry a glare. He's honestly going to cut Harry's hair off. In the morning Harry's going to wake up without his beautiful locks. Or maybe not. Harry's not the only one who's quite fond of his hair.
Niall continues to softly rub over Louis' cheek, like he's a baby. Louis lets out a sigh. "Niall," He begins, trying to take a hold of Niall's hand and stop the creepy caressing. It doesn't work. "I can't marry you. What will my boyfriend say?"
"Boyfriend?" Niall asks, he stops rubbing Louis' cheek and tilts his head to the side. He looks like a little child trying to comprehend something that's difficult to understand. "What boyfriend?"
"Harry," He says, pointing across the table at his love. Niall turns his head, following to where Louis' finger is pointing at. Immediately, there's a flash of something that Louis can't quite explain on his face.
"Oh!" Niall jumps up, looking like he's just solved a very difficult math question. He turns to Louis, eyes wile. "Ya' can't marry me because you and Harry are soulmates!"
There's not a blush on Louis' cheeks because of that. Nope.
Okay. There is. But it's dark in the club and nobody can see. Hopefully.
"Niall," Harry speaks up for the first time since Niall's proposal. "Can I have my boy back please?"
Hesitantly, Niall looks between them. His eyes dart from one to the other before he nods, slowly. "Fine," He says, looking defeated. Without warning, he steals Louis' beer out of his hand and takes a late gulp before he looks at Harry again. "But only because you two belong together."
Before Louis can stand up and walk over to Harry, Niall grabs his arm, pulling him back so that his mouth is near Louis' ear. If it were anyone else Louis would have pushed them away. But this is Niall. So. "Just know that I will always love ya'."
Shaking his head with a big smile on his face, Louis walks over to Harry and takes a seat in his lap.
The rest of the table tunes them out, instead listening to Liam tell a story about a dog that he wants to adopt. Even Niall is listening to him, still with Louis' beer in his hand.
So Louis does the next best thing.
He steals Harry's cocktail instead. Harry is unbothered by this, watching as Louis basically drinks all of his stink. When the glass, now only a quarter full, is set down on the table, Harry kisses Louis' forehead, arm around his waist. "Enjoying yourself, then?"
It's asked so softly and so lovingly and Louis finds himself wondering how he got someone like Harry. Beautiful, nice, charming, Harry.
When he realized that he's staring too long without giving an answer, he blushes. He's pretty sure that Harry caught him, if the smirk on his face is anything to go by.
"Yeah," He nods, hiding his face in the crook of Harry's neck. He doesn't know if Harry's question is referring to the drink or the night, so he just settles on saying, "It's quite lovely."
"It's quite lovely," Harry mocks, trying to make himself like Louis. It doesn't work because Harry's voice is way too deep. Serves him right for trying to make fun of Louis. "Since when are you so prim and proper?"
Louis' always been prim and proper. Thank you very much.
"Are you making fun of me?" Louis raises his head, giving Harry a challenging look. If he wants to play that game then fine. Louis can play that game ten times better. "I can always accept Niall's proposal. It's not too late."
"You're not going to accept Niall's proposal," Harry immediately says, smile on his face. "Because you belong to me."
Louis does. He's Harry's and Harry's his.
It's how it's suppose to be, really.
Louis wakes up the next morning in an empty, big bed. He rolls over, only to find that Harry's side is cold. The clock reads 7:54 am.
A sigh leaves his mouth as he stares up at the ceiling. He wish Harry were there to cuddle him and hug him and joke around like they always do in the morning, but alas, he's not.
Throwing his legs over the side of the bed, he stands up, a little wobbly at first. The hangover he has is mild, but to be fair, he didn't drink that much last night. He's kind of proud of himself.
The house is quiet. It's always quiet, but right now it's more than usual. Louis makes his way down the stairs, searching for his boyfriend.
In the kitchen is where had finds him, with a apron on dancing to a song Louis doesn't know. The tune sounds familiar but he can't place the lyrics.
On the counter, there's already bacon and what appears to be pancakes. Harry, the cook the he is, is already making eggs.
It's everything and it's perfect and they're living together now and Louis is happy. So incredibly happy.
"And this?" Louis finds himself asking, walking over to the counter to take a seat. The seat is a bit high. Louis will have to ask Harry of they can change it. "What did I do to deserve such a nice breakfast?"
Harry, who followed Louis' every move with his eyes, smiles wildly, both dimples out. He shrugs. "Can't I make my lovely boyfriend breakfast?"
With an eyebrow raised suspiciously, Louis speaks, "You did something."
A gasp escapes Harry. He looks appalled. "How can you think so low of me?" He asks, turning around with his hand in his hip. He looks like that redhead from Desperate Housewives. When he sees that Louis isn't going to crack, he sighs and runs a hand through his hair. "Fine," He admits. "I might've...told your mum that we won't be gathering your stuff today."
Shocked, Louis turns to Harry. "Why would you do that?" He asks. "We said we'd be getting my stuff today."
A guilty expression settles on Harry's face. He looks cute. But can't be thinking that. He needs to stay focused. Focused. Foc- Oh shit, is Harry pouting? Yes. Yes, he is.
"Sorry, Lou," Harry says, eyes wide. He's trying to make himself appear innocent and it's working. Damn him. "But I just wanted you to have a nice, relaxing few days after the tour before we have to start moving your things."
And Louis can't really be angry now. Can he?
Curse Harry or being the best boyfriend that the world has ever had. Louis is blessed, truly.
He sighs and runs a hand through his hair, trying to come off as a little bit annoyed. Alas, it does not work. "I guess you're right," He grumpily says, head turned towards the counter. He does not want to see Harry's victory smirk right now, seeing that Louis hardly ever admits when he is wrong.
Harry knows, though, that if he were to say something on the situation at hand that Louis would quite literally slap him.
"So, excited to be releasing the album?" Louis asks while Harry prepares the two of them their plates. Louis knows that Harry must be excited to be releasing album considering how hard he and the other boys worked on it.
It's an amazing album, if Louis does say so himself.
"Yeah," Harry replies, setting Louis' plate down in front of him and taking the seat opposite him. "Think the fans are going to love it."
Then there's silence in the kitchen. Louis glances at Harry, knowing what's on his mind. He takes a deep breath, pushing the eggs around on his plate with his fork. "When are you going to tell them about the break?"
A few weeks ago, Johnson had called a meeting with the entire One Direction team. Everybody had been stressing, wanting to know what the meeting was going to be about.
Surprisingly, there was announced that after the album's release date that One Direction would go on six months break before having the World Tour for Made In The AM.
And after that their contract with Modest! Management would be over. It was all a big surprise to everyone.
"A few days after the album is out," Harry says, picking up a piece of bacon with his fork and pushing it into his mouth. He even looks adorable while eating.
A smile settles on Louis' lips, feeling so happy that Harry is finally getting a break. That the band is finally getting a break. "That's amazing, Haz."
They eat in silence after that. It's not uncomfortable. It's just right.
Every about them is just right.
Later that day, Louis and Harry finds themselves in front of the tv, watching The Lion King.
Or, well, Harry is watching tv and Louis is sitting on his phone scrolling through the internet with his feet in Harry's lap while his own lap is filled with a packet of sour jelly beans. He really loves the candy.
Suddenly, Louis bolts up, startling Harry. "Guess what?" He says excitedly, picking up a green jelly bean and throwing it into his mouth. The green ones are his absolute favorite.
"What?" Harry asks, gaze now back on the tv. It's the scene where Simba and Nala are making fun of Zazu.
"Larry Stylinson-" Louis gestures between them, eyes twinkling and a big smile on his face while picking out another two jelly beans. This time it's an orange of and a pink one. "-Has just been named the most shipped tumblr couple of 2015."
Lifting his gaze off the tv, Harry turns to Louis with both eyebrows raised. It certainly is cry exciting news. Usually his fans hate his relationships. "Really?"
"Yep," Louis says while showing Harry the screen. "Your fans love me and you together."
"They do," Harry says, smiling lovingly at his boyfriend. His everything. "They love you and my family loves you and I love you."
Louis leans over and kisses Harry on the lips. He tastes like jelly beans and everything that's good in the world.
After that, they both turn their attention back to the tv, silently singing along to Hakuna Matata.
Harry's happy that everybody that's important to him accepts Louis.
Accepts that they're made for each other.
"Go away, Harry," Louis groans into the pillow. He's quite comfy and he doesn't want Harry to ruin his sleep now. Or ever. He still loves him, though.
"Lou," Harry tries again and Louis feels his body being shaken. It's annoying and endearing at the same time.
Annoyed, Louis sits up and sends a glare on Harry's direction, who's standing beside Louis, smirk on his face and keys in his hand. "What do you want, Harold? I'm busy."
Smirk growing wider, Harry jiggles the keys in his hands. "C'mon, Lou," He says, a secretive smile on his face and a twinkle in his eyes. "I have something special planned us."
A groan escapes Louis. Harry is honestly the most loveliest boyfriend ever but his timing is really inconvenient at times.
"What?" He finds himself asking, rubbing his eyes with fist. Once glance at the clock on the table beside the bed Louis finds out it's 3:12 am. Honestly.
"You and I-" Harry begins, smile still ever present. "-Are going on an adventure."
Immediately, Louis is taken back to months ago when he and Harry were in this similar situation. That was a very lovely night.
But. "We're not going to break into a stadium again, are we?" He asks, just to make sure. Who knows what Harry has planned in that brain of his. With him, everything is possible.
Surprisingly, Harry only laughs and shakes his head. His hair is loose and he's wearing skinny jeans, again. It doesn't feel like déjà vu. It feels like something better, maybe.
"No," Harry says when he stood laughing. "No stadiums this time. Just me, you and the moon."
Louis can't help but roll his eyes. "Stop using your lyrics against me," He says, but climbs out the bed nonetheless. He's wearing pajama bottoms and Harry's jumper. It's appropriate enough to go out.
Soon enough, Louis finds himself in Harry's Audi. The convertible one. And-Okay, Louis gets the Harry wants to be romantic and whatnot, but it's London and it's cold. Especially if one is driving.
When Louis looks again, they're on the outskirts of London, where everything is quiet and all that you can see the city's lights and stars.
He looks at Harry, eyebrow raised. "What are we doing here?"
The curly haired doesn't say anything at first, instead choosing to look up at the sky. Star filled sky. Then he turns to Louis with a smile on his face, if Louis guesses right. It's a bit difficult in the dark. "Remember Stockholm?"
Of course Louis remembers Stockholm. He remembers everything little single detail about that city. He remembers how happy Harry looked while signing. He remembers Harry chasing him. He remembers G5.
He remembers falling in love with Harry that night.
"Yeah," He says instead, choosing to not say all the sappy thoughts in his head. Who knows what Harry will say when Louis says that instead. "Yeah, I remember Stockholm."
Nothing's said then. Instead they look at each other. Even in the darkness Louis can see all the love Harry's eyes. He's in love and he's loved and everything is okay.
"Will it be very cheesy if I said I loved you under London's night lights?" Harry suddenly says, no whispers, almost like he's afraid of ruining the moment by speaking too loudly.
Instead of answering, Louis leans forward, pressing his lips to Harry's. It's magical and hit him so much how much he loves Harry.
A kiss always means something and this one means forever.
When they pull apart, Harry presses their foreheads together. "G5," He says, out of breath. In love.
Somehow within in the next five minutes they find themselves in the back seat of the Audi, Harry with his back pressed to the door and Louis between Harry's leg, back pressed to his chest.
It's only silent for a moment before Harry speaks. "I just want to say thank you. For, you know, moving into my home."
A frown settles on Louis' face. He doesn't turn around when he talks, "I moved into your house," He leans back into Harry chest. "I found my home the moment I met you. It just took me a while to realize."
"Well then," Harry says, wrapping his arms around Louis' waist. It's obvious that he's smiling. The touch isn't enough but it's too much at the same time and Louis is in love. "Welcome home."
It's silent after that.
Louis finds himself thinking.
He thinks of himself months ago, before meeting Harry. He remembers him laying in bed, crying, shaking, excluding himself of everyone and everything.
He thinks of how he thought that he will never be okay again. He thinks of how he feared his own mind. He thinks of how he just wanted it all to end. He thinks of how he wanted the demons that slowly, but surely, ruined his mind to be gone. He thinks of a faceless man. He thinks of a deep voice. He thinks of the rain. He thinks of himself struggling to breate.
He thinks that he's okay.
He thinks of Harry.
He thinks of months ago, meeting Harry for the first time. He thinks of pale green eyes and a constant frown. He thinks of somebody that was scared. He thinks of somebody that was so afraid to trust and love that he had hurt himself in the progress. He thinks eyes slowly staring to get color back. He thinks 'Can I Stay?'.
He thinks 'Always.'
He thinks that they're okay.
He thinks of them in another universe, finding each other. Loving each other. Always coming back to each other.
He thinks that they're soulmates.
He knows that they're soulmates.
Behind him, Harry hums, playing with his hair, gently. It's cold around them but it's okay. They have each other. "What are you so deep in thought about?" The curly haired lad asks. Louis can hear the love in his voice. Can hear how much they belong to one another.
Things weren't okay before for both of them but now they are because they're together. They're together and everything's okay. They're together and everything's perfect. They're always suppose to be together.
Louis smiles, while looking up at the stars, happy to be home, finally. "I'm thinking about how my heart was made just for you."
Twitter if you wanna talk - @lxve_irwin :)
There's still an epilogue, so it's not the end just yet. Epilogue is up in a week.
Chapter 23: e p i l o g u e
Note- If I could fly was never on MITAM in this universe
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
When Louis walks into their London house it's silent.
It's not unusual or anything, seeing as that they're not very loud people, but still. Usually Harry'd be somewhere in the living room or kitchen whenever Louis goes out and returns later on.
He shakes his head and throws his keys onto the little table at the front door, walking to the kitchen to put away the groceries Harry asked him to get.
After putting away the groceries and checking downstairs if Harry's anywhere to be found, and not succeeding in that, he moves to the kitchen again, smiling when he feels something brush his legs.
When he looks down, he's met with a pair of deep blue eyes and white fur and a 'meow'. Bending down and picking up their cat, Louis starts petting his head. "Hey, Snowies," He says to the white cat as the animal starts purring. Harry and him have had Snowbelle for a year now, deciding that it was the first step to actually start a family. "Where's Haz, Belle?" He asks the male cat, as if he's actually expecting an answer of the cat, who's looking at him like he's crazy.
With a fond smile on his face he puts their little baby down and heads upstairs, to where he's sure Harry's at. He looks in the bedroom, bathroom, guest bedroom, balcony, the study and then finally, the music room, where Harry's sitting in front on their piano, a puzzled expression on his face.
Louis leans in the doorway, arms crossed over his chest, amused smile on his face when he sees the cute little face his boyfriend is making. "Hey," He says in a soft voice, way too fondly. Harry's head snaps up at his voice and a smile settles on his face.
"Hi, love," He greets back, wiggling a bit on the piano bench. "You're back early."
A shrug is received from his boy. "Store wasn't busy. No fans tried to mob me or anything," Louis replies, because as crazy as it is to believe, being the boyfriend of one of the biggest stars in the world also resorts in him being mobbed when he's out.
Harry nods, fiddling with the sheet music that's sat on top of the piano, hands a bit shaky and nerves running high. He takes a deep breath, because yes, he's about to do this. He's about to show Louis what he's been working on for about a full year. He's about to show Louis how much he loves him.
Of course, he's done it countless times already, but this. This is just. This is it.
"Love," He begins, not even trying to look up at his boyfriend. If he were to he'd currently lose it and drop the entire thing. "Come here for a moment, won't you?"
Absentmindedly, Louis walks over to where Harry is, taking a seat on the bench next to him. Without really noticing that he's doing it, he starts playing a few keys on the piano, looking up at Harry, seeing that he's nervous. He raises an eyebrow. "You okay, love?"
The notes are the only sound in the room, a beautiful tune made by a beautiful man. Harry watches Louis' hand fly over the keys, watch how he's creating beauty without even knowing it. He smiles then looks at his boy. "You're really good at that."
Louis continues to play, eyes now fixed on the black and white keys. "Well, I was in piano lessons for about three years of me life," He says, smiling. He stops playing and looks up at Harry. "So what's up?"
This is it. This is it. This is it.
Is Harry ready? Is he ready to show Louis the deepest part of his heart? Is he ready to show Louis how vulnerable he actually is?
Yes. Of course. Because he and Louis are a team and Harry loves Louis more than anything in the entire world. Hell, Louis is Harry's world.
He takes a deep breath, shaky hands clutching the sheet music in his hands. "I," He begins, trying to calm himself down. He places the sheet music in front of Louis on the piano nervously and then looks at the blue eyed beauty. "I want you to play me that melody, please."
Louis shrugs, thinking nothing about it, but stops when Harry takes both his hands into his, making him look at him, eyes wide and green and everything that Louis's ever dreamt of. "Remember last year when I had to go to LA and you couldn't come with?"
Louis nods, thinking back to last year. He had so desperately wanted to go with Harry because whenever they're apart both of them can't handle being apart from each for too long.
Harry had been away for three weeks doing promo and hanging out with his friends. Louis had been mostly in bed, hugging Harry's pillow close to his chest, pretending that it could fill the void of Harry.
"Yeah," He says, a bit confused as to why Harry would bring this up. "Yeah. That wasn't a very nice time."
"I know," Harry contributes, frowning a bit. He looks so adorable and Louis's so in love that it actually makes his heart beat faster. "When I was away I started to work on this song...." He trails off, taking a deep breath. "-And I've been working on it for about a year. And I just think it's finally time to show you."
Louis nods opening his mouth to say something but is quickly cut off by Harry. "I want you to listen to the lyrics. I mean, truly listen to it. Because every word of this song....every word is exactly how I feel about us. About you."
A nervous feeling settles in the pit of Louis' stomach. But he nods nonetheless. Harry places a kiss on Louis' forehead before whispering, "I love you. So, so much," And then he pulls away.
Louis looks at the sheet music and starts playing the first few notes, waiting for Harry to start singing. He looks over at Harry, seeing that his eyes are closed and that he takes a deep breath, before;
If I could fly, I'd be coming right back home to you
I think I might give up everything, just ask me to
Pay attention, I hope that you listen cause I let my guard down
Right now I'm completely defenseless
Louis listens to the lyrics while continuing to play, his heart beating rapidly in his chest. The lyrics are so beautiful and Louis is so in love and he can't quite believe that this is real.
For your eyes only, I show you my heart
For when you're lonely and forget who you are
I'm missing half of me when we're apart
Now you know me, for your eyes only
For your eyes only
For a moment Louis can't find the breath in his lungs. He's fingers are playing the tune, blending in with Harry's voice beautifully but Louis actually can't breathe. This is....this is Harry expressing how much he loves Louis, how he would do anything for Louis. This is Harry writing an ode- An ode for Louis.
I've got scars, even though they can't always be seen
And pain gets hard, but now you're here and I don't feel a thing
This is Harry saying that Louis makes everything okay. This is Harry saying that whenever Louis' near him he's indestructible.
Pay attention, I hope that you listen cause I let my guard down
Right now I'm completely defenseless
For your eyes only, I show you my heart
For when you're lonely and forget who you are
I'm missing half of me when we're apart
Now you know me, for your eyes only
For your eyes only
Louis can't breathe. He can't breathe because he's drowning in the feeling of love and Harry and every word being sung to him right now.
I can feel your heart inside of mine
I feel it, I feel it
I've been going out of my mind
I feel it I feel it
Know that I'm just wasting time
Hope that you don't run from me
This is Harry showing Louis how vulnerable he actually is. This is Harry asking Louis to never ever break his heart. This is Harry asking Louis to stay forever.
For your eyes only,
I show you my heart
For when you're lonely
And forget who you are
I'm missing half of me
When we're apart
Now you know me, for your eyes only
Right now all that Louis wants to do is jump into Harry's arms and kiss him and tell him that he loves him so very much, but he continues to play the keys, tears prickling at the corner of his eyes.
For your eyes only, I show you my heart
For when you're lonely and forget who you are
I'm missing half of me when we're apart
Now you know me, for your eyes only
For your eyes only
This is Just Harry that was meant only for Louis.
For your eyes only.
Louis' cheeks are wet when he stops playing. There's literally so many emotions going through him right now and he feels so overwhelmed and he can't contain the love in him.
He throws himself into Harry's chest, arms going around his neck and head on Harry's shoulder. "That was so beautiful, Harry," Louis gets out, wetting Harry's shirt with his tears.
The thing is, whenever people meet them and see how loved up they are they always say that they'll grow out of it. They'll grow out of the love they have for each other because that's how love in this century works. It gets old and forgotten.
But Louis's absolutely sure that he and Harry won't fall into the category of forgotten love. And this-this confession is just more proof. They'll always be together. Always be in love.
"Don't cry," Harry says while rubbing soothing circles on Louis' back. It's relaxing and lovely and Louis is so in love. "Don't cry, Lou. I didn't mean to make you cry."
"Are you sure?" Louis raises his head, looking Harry directly in the eyes. It's hard to believe that almost three years ago both of their eyes had no life in them. And now....Now they're the life in each others eyes. "Because with lyrics like that I'm pretty sure you did intend on making me bawl my eyes out."
A blush covers Harry's cheeks. He looks down, trying to avoid eye contact with Louis but it's useless because his eyes will always wander back to Louis. "I just wrote what I felt for you."
For a lost moment Louis scans Harry's face, eyes looking over every little detail. There's no more tears in his eyes now and his cheeks are dry, but there's a sparkle in his eye- something unexplainable. Something beautiful.
Their hands somehow find each other and Louis grips Harry's hand tightly. He takes a deep break, looking directly into Harry's eyes. "Take me to the bedroom."
For a second Harry's eyes go wide. They've only made love about four times in the almost three years of knowing each other.
It's just-It's not really a big factor in their relationship considering Louis' past and the fact that they're so in love that they don't need it to reassure them. It only happens on specials occasions and for Louis to...for Louis to want Harry in that way now...it makes him happy, in a way.
"Are you sure?" Harry asks while caressing Louis' cheek with his thumb. The skin underneath his hand is soft.
Louis nods, eyes locked on Harry's and leaning into his touch. "Yes," He takes Harry's hand on his cheek, bringing it up to his lips and kissing it. "Show me how much you love me."
And that's enough for Harry to lean forward and kiss his boy deeply, passionately and lovingly at the same time. He moves forward on the bench, taking Louis' waist into his hands, squeezing once, twice, three times.
Louis throws his head back, allowing Harry more access to his beautiful bare neck. Immediately Harry presses his lips to it, sucking hard enough to leave a bruise.
There's hands in his hair, fingers clinging to his long locks. There's soft breathing, making him want to protect his boy. There's a moan of his name, out of breath and maybe a bit desperate. There's hands running down his back, slipping underneath his shirt and feeling his skin. There's love in the air, making him feel happy.
"Harry," Louis says, head still thrown backwards as Harry's sucking at his skin. His one hand is on Harry's back under his shirt and the other or his holding onto his neck. "Harry, bedroom."
There's legs around his waist, making him stand up and carry Louis out of the music room and into their bedroom, never breaking the bruise that he's sucking onto Louis' skin. Louis' arms are around his neck, thighs clutching Harry's waist tightly between them.
When they arrive in their bedroom, Harry lays Louis down on their bed, looming over him, mouth immediately searching for Louis' mouth again. When their lips meet it's sparks and magic and it's like every kiss they share- beautiful.
Harry moves his lips down to Louis' jaw, pressing soft kisses onto the flawless skin. His hands find the hem of Louis' shirt and pulls it over his head, leaving him laying in his jeans and shoes. He starts kissing down his chest, kissing over the ink and then latching his lips into Louis' left nipple.
A moan escapes Louis from above, mouth slightly open and fingers in Harry's hair. "Haz, it's sensitive," He breathes out, and Harry knows that his nipple are sensitive, found it out the fist time they were together like this. He knows Louis loves it, though, so it's no harm done.
He licks over the nipple a few times before going to the other one, doing the same to it than the other one, feeling satisfied when Louis moans again. He moves down, kissing over Louis' navel and then the tiny pudge under it. Harry is absolutely in love with that pudge. He loves his hands to Louis' outside thighs, gripping tightly over the jean clad skin.
When he's level headed with Louis' crouch, he presses his lips there, hands moving to undo the button of the jeans when;
"Stop," Louis suddenly says and when Harry looks up at him, there's a frown on his face. His eyes are blue and blown and his cheeks are flushed and he's absolutely lovely. "Why am the only one getting naked? You should remove your clothes too."
Fondly, Harry rolls his eyes at his boyfriend's sassiness, but nonetheless sits up from his place between Louis' spread legs. He unbuttons his shirt and throws it to the side, not really caring where it lands. He quickly kicks off his shoes and socks, leaving him in only his jeans. "Happy now?" He asks Louis, who's eyes follow his every move.
Louis bites his bottom and nods, smiling when Harry leans over him again. They kiss for a moment before Harry sits up and moves down, griping Louis' hips in his hands. "Lift your hips please," He asks when his hands undoes the jeans. Louis complies and lifts his hips, allowing Harry to pull the material down his beautiful thighs. He stops at the ankles, first removing Louis' shoes before pulling the pants off completely.
He presses his lips to Louis' left ankle, moving up while kissing Louis' leg completely, ending up on the inside of Louis' thigh. His looks up, only to find Louis looking at him with his lip between his teeth. "You okay?" He asks, because as much as he's enjoying himself Louis being okay will always cone first.
Louis nods, hands gripping the sheets next to him. "Yeah," He says, throwing his head back and looking up at the ceiling. "Please continue."
Harry does just that, kissing the inside of Louis' thighs and thumbs caressing over the prominent hipbones. His boy's skin is so soft. Like a flower petal, or maybe satin. Or maybe both. It's amazing, really.
"Want me to suck you off or eat you out?" Harry asks, looking up at Louis.
Louis looks to considering this for a moment. The last time the were together like this was the first time that Harry ate Louis out, and he quite loved it. Nearly came apart just from Harry's tongue.
"Uhm," He begins, cheeks a bit pink. "Eat me out? If...If you want to," He says, sounding a bit uncertain. Harry doesn't want Louis to sound uncertain, just want him to be comfortable and enjoy himself. Let Harry pleasure him.
Harry smiles, because he loves making his boy happy. "Okay then," He says and sits up. He can feel his cock pressing against the fabric of his jeans and he wants to remove it so badly and just have some relief on it but Louis is way more important now. "Turn around for me yeah?"
While Louis does as he's told, Harry stands up from the bed to remove his jeans and grab the lube from the bedside drawer. When he turns around he's met with the sight of Louis laying face down into the pillow while looking at Harry happily.
Quickly he makes his way over to the bed, climbing in between Louis' legs again. He lays down on his tummy so that his face is directly in front of Louis' beautiful bum. He knees the bum for a bit over the material of the underwear before he looks up at Louis. "May I?"
"Yes," Louis breathes out, looking at Harry over his shoulder. Harry makes sure no time goes to waste as he removes the underwear and is then faced with Louis' beautiful bum.
Fuck, Harry loves this. Loves taking care of Louis. Loves showing him that he loves him. Just loves Louis.
He massages Louis' arse cheeks for a few moments, knowing how much it makes his boy relax, before spreading it and just admiring Louis for a moment. He's so fucking beautiful.
Then he licks over Louis' hole, first a kitten lick then a fat stripe. Above him, Louis' breathing increases, indicating that he wants Harry to continue. And Harry does just that.
He licks over a few times more before pressing his tongue in fully, wiggling it around a bit once it's fully inside. Louis tastes so good, so fucking good and Harry's so happy that he's his.
"Harry," Louis moans above him, tiny hand clutching the white sheets tightly. His head is pressed into the pillow, breathing rapidly. He clearly loves Harry's tongue in him just as much as Harry love doing this. "More."
Harry trusts in and out with his tongue a few, careful not to let spit come on Louis' arse. He pulls out and looks up at Louis, who's looking at him over his shoulder before he spreads Louis' ass further apart and going in again.
From above, Louis presses his arse back into Harry's face, clearing loving what's happening now. Harry's loving it too. He wiggles his tongue around in Louis once more before going in fast, making Louis whimper obscenely above him.
When he pulls back he presses a closed mouth kiss to Louis hole, wipes his mouth from the spit and then looks up at him. "Want my fingers now?"
"Yes," Louis breathes out, eyes blown. "Please."
"Can you turn around for me baby? On your back, please?" Harry asks while grabbing the bottle of lube next to him. He can clearly see now that there's a wet patch on his own underwear from leaking pre-cum but he's not too bothered by it. "Want to see your beautiful face."
Louis turns on his back, his hard cock, red and angry and pretty. Harry wonders if any part of Louis can be ugly. Clearly not.
He lubes up three fingers and settles between Louis' bent legs, face at the same level as Louis' balls. Slowly, steadily, he pressed one finger against Louis' rim, that's still a bit wet from earlier. His finger top teases Louis' hole for a moment, only half pushing in and he can see that Louis is growing frustrated.
"Don't tease, Haz," He wines, fingers locking in Harry's hair. "Please."
Deciding that his boy's had enough, he presses one finger in, loving how tight it is in between his boy's legs. It's the first that they're doing this so it's bound to be tight and Harry loves it.
He trusts his finger in and out, loving the sounds that Louis' making above him. It's these soft little whimpers that drives Harry mad, makes his cock twitch.
He pushes a second finger in and starts scissoring them, a smirk settling on his lips when Louis lets out a long and hard moan. Well, looks like Harry found his prostate.
"Love you so much," Harry says, pushing his third finger in, letting Louis ride himself on his fingers. His other hand reaches down into his boxer, feeling relieved when his hand wraps around his cock, pumping a few times. "Loves you so much and love doing this with you and love taking care of you."
Louis' breathing is rapid, hand on Harry's shoulder and legs spread widely. And so pretty. So fucking pretty. "Love you too," He says, out of breath. "Okay. 'M ready for your cock."
"Yeah?" Harry says, removing his fingers out of the tight heat of Louis. He removes his boxers and lubes himself up, cock fully hard now. "Gonna show you how much you mean to me. Show you how much I love you."
"Fuck," Louis breathes, cock laying hard on his belly, already dripping pre-cum. "Yeah. Please."
Harry settle himself between Louis' legs, cock lining up with his hole. They're face to face now, Harry's hand on either side of Louis' face. He pushes the head in, already overwhelmed at the tightness. He looks at Louis for confirmation before he pushes further in, bottoming out.
"Fuck," Louis says, legs clutched tight around Harry's waist. "So big. So fucking big." He says again, starting to move his tights up and down, indicting that he want Harry to move.
Slowly, Harry starts moving, trusting not too fast. He lays his head down on Louis' shoulder, searching for his boy's hands to hold.
Louis is letting out little moans, every time Harry moves. Suddenly, he arches his back off the bed, loud moan escaping him. "Fuck," He scratches down Harry's back, surely leaving marks. "Right there."
Harry angles his body so that he can hit Louis' prostate with every trusts. He starts moving faster and faster every time, thriving off the little 'uh uh uh's leaving Louis' mouth.
It's so much. So fucking much. Their hands pressed tightly together and being so close like this. Harry looks up and searches for Louis' mouth, happy when he finds it. He kissed him deeply, full of love.
When they break apart, Harry looks Louis directly in the eyes. "Love you," He groans, body moving up and down. He's sweating and there's a heat starting in his abdomen and everything perfect. "Love you so much."
They're moving fast now, bed following with their movement. It's so much and it's so fucking hot and Louis is his and everything perfect.
Louis moans, fingers gripping Harry's hair. His legs go lose around Harry's waist, falling open on either side of them. "Love you," He whimpers prettily. "Not gonna last longer."
"It's fine," Harry says while wrapping a big hand around Louis' cock, pumping a few times. "Me neither."
He thrusts a few more times before Louis comes with a long moan, getting cum all over both of the chest. Harry follows suit, crying Louis' name and releasing in him.
He falls, boneless, on top of Louis, out of breath. It's silent for a few moments before Louis starts poking him. "C'mon," He pokes Harry's shoulder. "Get out of me and clean me up."
Harry fondly rolls his eyes but pulls out anyway. He presses a long kiss to Louis' mouth before getting up and going to the bathroom.
When he comes back with a wet towel in his hand, he finds Louis already asleep, cum now dry on his chests and tiny snores escaping him. Harry can't help but smile at his boyfriend.
He cleans him up slowly, making sure that he's clean so Louis won't scold him in the morning, and then throws the towel on the ground next to them before climbing into the bed next to Louis, wrapping his arms around his boyfriend's tiny body.
He smiles into his neck, breathing in the scent of their love. "G5," He says before drifting off to sleep.
Harry wakes up the next morning at 8:36 am.
Louis's not awake yet, so Harry does the only thing he can do. He stares creepily at Louis.
He watches how he lays on his tummy, chest heaving up and down with every breath he takes. He watches the long eyelashes casting over the sharp cheekbones. He watch the sun kissed skin contrasting with the white of their cover. He watches the love of his life be happy.
He places a hand on Louis' naked back, rubbing over it soothingly. He's not sure how long he does this- just watching Louis sleep and rubbing his back before;
"Stop looking at me like I'm your entire world," Louis suddenly speaks, looking up at Harry with the bluest of blue eyes. He looks so lovely and they're so in love.
"Then stop being my entire world," Harry replies, hand stilling on Louis' back. He lays down again and turns on his side facing Louis. "Last night was amazing."
Louis rolls his eyes but smiles anyway. "You are amazing," He says, looking at Harry's face. "That song was...beautiful. What's it called?"
"I wanted to call it 'For Your Eyes Only' but decided on 'If I Could Fly'," Harry says, admiring Louis.
It's silent for a moment and Harry's so perfectly content. So happy with his life. So happy that everything turned out right.
"I love you," Louis says, eyes all crinkly and showing all his pearly whites.
"And I love you," Harry replies, leaning forward and placing a kiss on Louis' awaiting lips. It's perfect.
Neither one of them notices that it's raining outside.
Well...this is it. This is officially the end.
Firstly, I just want to thank you so much for reading this. Without you I doubt I would've even finished it so just a very big THANK YOU SO MUCH.
Secondly, I will truly miss this fic so much because it's been my baby for so long and thank you all for sticking with my scattered brain throughout this.
I literally loved writing every single word of this and I'm sad letting it go but it's done now and once again thank you. Thank you thank you thank you thank you THANK YOU
If you want, you can follow me on twitter- @lxve_irwin
I'll miss you all so much.
Sending you all my love, Char.