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Forever Not Yours

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Daniel wasn't sure whether he was jealous of Atlantis for getting Rodney or Rodney for getting Atlantis, but either way it must have been showing on his face. There was Jack, watching Daniel like a hawk, saying no before Daniel even realized he was asking for something. No. No. No. It didn't really matter what Daniel was asking for; the answer was still going to be no.

This, despite the number of times the answer had been yes. Yes, go fuck McKay; see if I care. Yes, go fuck yourself; see if I care about that, either. And if Daniel forgot all about Jack and Sam and Teal'c and Hammond and Stargate Command while Rodney was fucking him, well, he wasn't enough of a bastard to tell Jack that.

The last time wasn't even here in Antarctica; it'd been three nights over the course of a random emergency that meant nobody got any sleep. Back in Rodney's room, Daniel had taken advantage of that caffeine overload without even asking; he'd just started pulling off Rodney's clothes. No surprise when Rodney didn't argue. He hadn't stopped talking even after they were both naked and Daniel had the condom on him, and eventually Daniel had to yell to be heard over the sound of Rodney's voice, had to yell and hope nobody outside Rodney's room heard anything.

He could still remember the stretch in his thighs after Rodney rolled him onto his back and pinned his knees to his chest; he could still taste the salt against his tongue when he licked Rodney's shoulder, after, and kept licking until Rodney wiped the sweat off his face and said, "I think I can--stop that, turn over, right now." He'd done it, but he'd missed getting to look into Rodney's eyes that time. His own fault; there'd been too many times he'd been off in his own world, taking Rodney's cock and come and giving too little back.

Like every other time, Daniel had fallen asleep first. He blamed all that caffeine; nobody could put away coffee like Rodney McKay, and if they ran out of coffee, Daniel had a feeling Rodney stocked Red Bull or Mountain Dew or something equally vile. After Rodney was gone and there were no emergencies in sight--after things with Jack were back to what passed for normal between them--he wondered what Rodney was like when it wasn't a now-or-never kind of fuck, when it was just because Rodney was so damn good at things when he set out to be, just because he wanted it.

Daniel stopped watching once Rodney disappeared through the gate, though he kept his eyes trained on the gateroom all the same.

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