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Tony Stark Hates Meetings

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Debriefing meetings to Tony Stark were synonymous to watching paint dry. For hours on end. That was why he tended to not show up to such meetings in the first place. They were practically pointless, anyway. The other members could easily fill him in on what was said in five minutes without him having to sit through a generally hour long or more meeting. However, his frequent lack of attendance wasn’t exactly appreciated by everyone else.

Tony, more often than not, managed to ignore or evade any efforts to get him to come to a debriefing. Today, though, he couldn’t escape it.

“We’ve been through this. I’m not going. You cannot make me. End of story.” Tony said to Steve, who was nagging at him in annoyance about attending today’s meeting. They were standing in the kitchen, Tony sipping on his third cup of coffee. (It was already a little past ten in the morning, but hey, coffee was good.)

“No, correction; you are going. This meeting is extremely important. You’re not getting out of this one, Stark.” Steve countered. Tony wasn’t skipping out on this one; he was going to make sure of it.

Tony rolled his eyes. “Good luck with that.”

“Why won’t you just attend them?” Steve sounded vaguely exasperated. “What, are you scared of meetings?”

“That’s, like, the dumbest possible reason you could have thought of, so no. They’re boring. I don’t like attending boring things.” Tony explained simply.

“Well you’re just going to have to deal with the boredom, then.”

“I don’t have to do anything.”


As it turned out, Tony did, in fact, have to go to the meeting. This was only managed after a plethora of threats and lectures. They didn’t normally work, mind you, but god dammit, listening to it all had gotten worse than just going to the meeting. So somehow, Steve got Tony to begrudgingly be dragged along.

It felt just like a typical meeting to Tony. Someone always talking about important information he was supposed to remember being said, mild debating on subjects at times, and basically just an hour to an hour and a half long ordeal that could be summed up in five minutes. He was sitting next to Steve at the conference table. He did pay attention for the most part, seeing as he was there, so he might as well listen, even if it was boring as hell.

They were barely ten minutes in when Tony realized that there was a problem. Normally, when going out to a meeting or such, he would take a bathroom break before leaving. Today, however, he hadn’t. Steve had refused to let Tony out of his sight, convinced that he would slip away somehow if he did. Tony hadn’t considered it to be a problem. Until now, that was, when his bladder started signally to him that not going before he left the tower had been a bad idea.

At first he just tried to ignore it. It would feel a bit embarrassing to have to leave a meeting for a break right after it had started. His bladder was filling up quicker than it normally would, though. Tony cursed to himself as he realized it was due to the copious amounts of coffee he’d consumed that morning. Coffee was, naturally, a diuretic (the only downside to coffee). All that coffee… and Tony hadn’t had a chance to go after drinking it.

He wasn’t showing any physical signs of needing to go just yet. He was fairly good at suppressing the urge to shift around, in most cases. They were twenty five minutes into the meeting now.

Thirty minutes into the meeting, and Tony’s bladder began to press at him a bit more forcefully. Deciding that half an hour was enough time to need a break without being too embarrassed, he moved to get up. However, he was immediately stopped by Steve the moment he pushed his chair back.

“Where do you think you’re going?” Steve questioned quietly. Someone else in the room was speaking, so he kept his voice low as he stared at Tony.

“I need to go to the bathroom.” Tony explained, frowning at having been stopped.

Steve rolled his eyes. “Oh, yeah, whatever. Nice try, Stark. You’re staying here till this meeting is over.” The solider didn’t believe that Tony actually had to go in the slightest. Given the other man’s track record, Steve was assuming that Tony was just using the bathroom as an excuse to skive off and escape the meeting.

Tony opened his mouth to protest, but ended up just sighing and scooting his chair back in. He wasn’t necessarily admitting defeat; he just knew that he wasn’t going to win the argument. Besides, if they talked too much, he’d just draw attention to the situation. Tony wouldn’t admit this out loud, but he could see Steve’s logic in this matter. On any other given day, Tony would use the bathroom as an excuse to leave. This didn’t mean that he wasn’t immensely annoyed with the situation, though. The billionaire sighed, turning his attention back to the meeting.

It only took another ten minutes or so for Tony’s demeanor to begin to really change. His need was even more urgent now, and he found himself pressing his thighs together in order to lessen the pressure. He didn’t have the greatest attention span in meetings anyway, so he was hardly paying attention at all now. Dammit, why had he let Steve drag him here?

Tony shifted in his seat a few times over the next few minutes. The pressure in his lower abdomen had grown to an immense amount, and he could most definitely be described as desperate at this point. Pressing his thighs together a bit more tightly, Tony glanced at Steve, debating on whether to try and leave again. A particularly urgent signal from his full bladder made the decision easier. He scooted his chair back once more.

Steve sent a sharp look at Tony when the other man moved to get up again. “No.” Was all he said, practically daring the brunette to defy him.

Tony sighed quietly, exasperated. “Cap, seriously, I have to go. I’ll come right back. I swear.” He was a step away from pleading as he tried to convince Steve to let him leave.

A fleeting thought in the back of Steve’s mind wondered if Tony really did have to go, but he waved the thought away. This was Tony Stark, the king of trying to leave and get out of meetings. It was highly unlikely that he was actually telling the truth. “Yeah, I doubt that. No, Stark. The meeting shouldn’t last that much longer, anyway. Just deal with it.” He turned his attention back to what was going on. A couple of the others noticed the exchange, but they didn’t know what it’d been about.

Tony considered just leaving anyway, but that wouldn’t be a good idea. Steve would no doubt stop him, and everyone else in the room would be on Roger’s side, anyway. Plus, he’d just drag attention to his predicament. Frowning, Tony reluctantly moved his chair forward. He really had to go…

Twenty more minutes passed, a time during which Tony became increasingly more restless. He shifted around a few times. He tried to keep the squirming motions to a minimum, though, not wanting Steve to notice and accuse him of faking. Nevertheless, Tony was rather tense, his legs either constantly pressed together or crossed. He bit the inside of his cheek. His bladder felt like it was on fire, and he could practically feel it slosh around whenever he did allow himself to shift positions. They’d already been in the meeting for an hour, he observed. It shouldn’t be that much longer.

Tony was repeating a mantra of “It’s got to be almost over, it has to be almost over” in his head. He wasn’t even bothering to try and pay attention anymore. No, he was too focused on staying in control of his full bladder that was positively aching to be released. It was well past the point where he would normally stop whatever he was doing and go to the bathroom. God, what else could there be to talk about in this damn meeting?

Steve wasn’t paying much attention to Tony or any of the movements he had been making. Unlike the man next to him, he had his full attention on what was being said. Besides, he was one of the ones talking most frequently, so he had to keep up with the topic.

He wanted to try to leave again. God, Tony wanted to leave, but he knew it would never work. He was a grown man, he reminded himself. Hell, he was Iron Man. He should be able to hold it for a few more minutes. He’d be fine, he told himself, even if the thought of him not being fine had begun to cross his mind.

Ten more agonizingly long minutes went by. His bladder contracting occasionally with urgency, Tony was forced to silently sneak a hand into his lap and physically hold himself to keep it together. He hadn’t wanted to. It was risky, and he’d die of embarrassment if someone saw him doing this, but he couldn’t help it. Tony bit the inside of his lower lip, bouncing one of his legs a bit. Almost there, almost there, hold it, it’s got to be almost over…

Finally, after a full hour and a half, the debriefing came to an end. Tony didn’t think he’d ever been so relieved in his life. Well, he wasn’t too relieved yet; he still had to find the nearest bathroom and high tail his way to it. Unsure if he would be able to walk normally, Tony decided to try to be the last one to leave the room. Most people were leaving fairly quickly, anyway.

When most of the room had cleared out, Tony gingerly removed his hand from his crotch. In the time it took to scoot his chair back, the decrease in pressure helping him hold it had already had an effect. Tony was horrified to feel a small spurt leak out against his will. His hand instinctively shot back to his crotch, and he doubled over a bit in his seat. It didn’t look to him like anyone else was left in the room when he did this, so it didn’t worry him too much in that sense.

However, Tony was wrong on that account. Steve had gotten up like everyone else after the meeting ended and made his way to the door. He had paused, though, turning back and glancing at Tony. He was surprised the other man hadn’t just bolted from the room. Not to mention that he was the only one still in his seat. Everyone else had left and Steve was about to say something when he saw Tony double over and a hand go between his legs. Steve’s eyebrows rose in surprise. It looked like Tony was desperate to…oh. Oh, hell. Steve’s eyes widened as he took in the situation. Tony hadn’t been lying, he realized. The other man really did need to use the bathroom.

Steve immediately felt bad. Even if he did have a valid reason for suspecting that Tony had been lying, it was still horrible to realize that he’d been wrong. Denying someone the right to use the bathroom was not something he would ever intentionally do when they actually needed to go. However, he’d done just that to Stark, and now it looked like the other man’s situation had grown critical.

“Stark?” Steve closed the door to the conference room before he walked closer to the other man. “You’ve got to get to the bathroom, can you get up?” He asked softly.

Tony’s face immediately flushed with embarrassment when Steve spoke to him. “Oh, you believe me now?” He retorted, although it wasn’t as bitter as it could have been. He was too busy panicking over how badly he needed to go.

Steve cringed. “Yes, I do. I’m sorry; I seriously thought you were just trying to get out of the meeting. I didn’t know you actually had to go or I wouldn’t have told you not to…”

Tony sat up a bit, shaking his head. “Yeah, whatever…I get it.” He mumbled, though still a bit annoyed. He squirmed unwillingly, still holding himself. He honestly wasn’t sure he could make it to the bathroom, he realized.

“There’s a bathroom down the hallway. Come on,” Steve informed him, his voice a lot more comforting than it had been earlier. How had he been so blind? He’d been sitting right next to the guy.

Taking a breath, Tony stood up. The shift made gravity work against him just that much more, though. His bladder was so full that it was actually painful at this point. Through willpower, Tony let go of himself again. This time he managed to tensely walk a few feet before losing another, longer spurt. Groaning quietly, Tony bent at the waist a bit and held himself once more, pressing his legs together as much as he could.

Steve bit his lip, panicked a bit by the state Tony was in. The other man was obviously caught in a dire situation. Steve walked forward, putting a hand on the brunette’s shoulder. “Tony... you can make it.” He encouraged, although he was already starting to doubt his own words. This was a bit of an awkward situation, but it was nothing Steve couldn’t handle. He’d been in the army; he’d seen a lot. He knew this was so much worse for Tony than it was for him, anyway.

Tony knew that if he were going to walk down the hallway, he’d have to appear semi normal, lest he run into anyone. He could hardly stand up straight, though, and he bit back a whimper. He had to go now. The urgency was so immense, his bladder was so full, and his pants were digging into the slightly distended muscle. Tony tried to move again. The minute he did, though, more urine began to seep out. His underwear was considerably wet now. Despite tightening his grip, Tony could feel more starting to spurt out. He bit his lip, not looking at Steve.

“Just…leave. Go.” Tony mumbled quietly, obviously distressed and mortified. He didn’t want Rogers to see him lose control.

Steve shook his head. “I’m not just going to leave you here, Tony.” He murmured. He was beginning to see that Tony was fighting a lost cause, though.

Tony made a sudden attempt to walk—well, practically run—towards the door again. The sudden movement was too much though. It jarred his bladder significantly, and he could feel a stream start flowing from him. “Shit,” He cursed quietly, actually sounding rather upset as he stopped about a foot from the door. Tony tried to halt the flow, he really did, but his body was intent on letting go of the pent up liquid inside of him. Biting his lip, Tony looked down as his pants darkened rapidly. The urine was flowing fast and hard now, making a trail down both his legs and beginning to puddle on the floor. Tony finally moved his hand away from his crotch. His body relaxed in response to him finally, finally being able to let go. His mind, however, was filled with only embarrassment and panic. He was full on wetting himself in front of Steve. Not to mention the fact that he was at Shield Headquarters, and that he was a grown man who shouldn’t be wetting himself anywhere. Tony’s face was a deep shade of red, and he could do nothing but stare downwards as he lost control.

Steve watched in horror as Tony’s pants began to get wet. For a moment he couldn’t look away, too shocked, but finally he averted his gaze to give the other man some semblance of privacy. This was bad for many reasons. One, Stark was clearly mortified, an emotion not usually associated with the brunette. Two, they weren’t at the tower; no, they were at Shield, and this would be hard to hide from other people. And three, this could have been avoided if Steve had just let the other man go to the damn bathroom. He felt immensely guilty.

After almost a full minute, Tony’s bladder finally stopped emptying. The room was silent. Tony swallowed, fully expecting Steve to begin laughing at him, to point in disgust, and to leave him to deal with this himself. Surprisingly to him, however, that wasn’t what happened.

Steve cautiously walked forward, although careful not to step into the fairly large puddle surrounding the other man. “Tony…I’m so sorry. I should have let you go.” Now wasn’t the time for a ‘don’t abuse the privilege and maybe I would have let you go this time’ lecture. He was pretty sure Tony had suffered enough. “It’s okay, alright?” Steve tried to reassure the man in front of him.

Tony glanced up, blinking in surprise at how he was being treated. “It’s not okay. I just wet myself in a conference room.” He pointed out quietly, obviously mentally berating himself for having not been able to hold on for a couple more minutes.

“It’s not your fault, Tony.” Steve countered in a gentle tone. He glanced around the room, wondering how they were going to get Tony out of there without anyone noticing what had happened. Stark was wearing a medium gray suit, so the stain was blatantly obvious. He tried to come up with a plan.

“Look… how about you stay in here while I go try to find something else for you to change into? That way you can at least get back to the tower without anyone knowing what happened.” Steve offered.

Tony bit his lip, but nodded. “Okay.” He muttered. What did he have to lose? Besides, given how nice Steve was being, Tony felt like he could trust that the man would actually return.

“Alright. I’ll be back as soon as I can.” With that, Steve slipped out of the room.

Tony sighed, locking the door behind the other man. He didn’t want to risk someone else walking in. The brunette shifted uncomfortably as he waited for Steve to get back, his wet pants clinging to his skin.

Nearly ten minutes later, Steve knocked on the door. He’d managed to find a change of pants, socks, and shoes that looked like they might fit Tony. In addition, he’d nabbed a couple towels and a plastic bag. “Tony? It’s me.” He called through the door.

Tony jumped at the knock, but relaxed when he realized it was Steve. He walked over and opened the door, staying relatively silent.

Steve walked in, shutting the door behind him. “Sorry that took so long,” He apologized, setting the stuff down on the table. “I’m not sure if these’ll fit you, but it’s all I could find that seemed similar to your size and what you’re wearing now.”

Tony walked over (which was uncomfortable in the soaked pants) and looked at the stuff Steve had brought. “Thanks,” He said, genuinely meaning it. Even if Steve was half the reason this accident had taken place, the man was making up for it a bit by helping him cover it up.

“No problem,” Steve responded. “There are a couple towels, too, so you can use one and the other one we can clean the floor with. And there’s a plastic bag you can put your wet clothes in.”

Tony nodded in understanding, a blush still a bit prominent on his face. He noted that Steve had walked a few feet away and turned around to give him privacy. Silently thanking whatever god there may or may not be that there weren’t any windows in this room, Tony stripped out of the wet clothing. He grimaced, putting the items in the aforementioned bag. Shivering a bit from the cold, Tony hurriedly took a towel and dried himself off as best he could. He was definitely taking a shower when he got home. Tony changed into the new, clean clothing. Steve had gotten pretty close to his size, so everything more or less fit him.

“You, um. You can turn back around.” Tony spoke once he was finished.

Steve turned around at that, glad to note that the outfit Tony was now wearing didn’t look too awkward or too big or small. It had to be a lot better than the wet articles he’d previously been in.

Glancing over at the puddle, Tony looked embarrassed again. He took the other towel and laid it down on the liquid, gingerly using the bottom of his foot to move the towel around and soak up the urine. After a minute the floor was pretty much dry. Tony grimaced, picking up the towel and putting it in the bag with his clothing. He couldn’t exactly leave it here; that would defeat the purpose of cleaning up in the first place.

“Okay, we should probably get going.” Steve stated once Tony was done.

“Yeah, okay.” Tony nodded, voice still rather quiet.

“Hey, Tony, just so you know…I’m not going to tell anyone about this. Okay?” Steve felt the urge to reassure the other man that his secret would be safe with him. It was an accident, after all, and Steve would never be as cruel as to spread the story of something like this around.

Tony nodded again. “Thanks, Cap.” He murmured, slightly more reassured. It would take a while for him to get over the embarrassment, though.

Steve smiled a bit in response. “No problem. Come on, let’s go.” The solider motioned toward the door before walking over to it and holding it open for Tony.

Grabbing the plastic bag, Tony walked through the open door, Steve following behind him. With any luck, no one would question the bag. Tony hoped for all it was worth that this incident would never be brought up again.

As it turned out, they hardly ran into anyone, so no one questioned him. The accident wasn’t mentioned again by Steve or Tony, either. Tony avoided Steve out of embarrassment for a week or so, but other than that, they were alright. The accident remained a secret.