Something wasn't right. Jonny could feel it thrumming in his veins, in the way his skin felt too tight for his body. Worst of all, he couldn't think, the usually ordered haven of his mind an unfamiliar place full of shadows and sharp angles snagging his thoughts like so many cotton threads, unravelling his control in a steady jumble that, for all of Jonny's attempts at burying down his Vulcan side, terrified him.
At seventeen years of age, he was well used to being different. Smarter, faster, definitely stronger. Unquestionably not-quite-Human, no matter the energy and determination he expended to misdirect people away from that pertinent fact. The long hair covering his pointy ears, the deliberate plasticity of his face, the touching he had trained himself to become immune to, practising until his mental shields could withstand the battering of thoughts and emotions every time someone brushed his hand – they were all designed specifically to exaggerate one side of his heritage over the other. Growing up half on Vulcan, half on Earth was a trick of fate that Jonny had always considered to his advantage; but even he had to admit that, had he still been on Vulcan, his current predicament could have been far more easily managed.
As it was, Jonny had very few options at his disposal. His mother, while deeply loving, was unlikely to be able to tell him what was happening to his body, nor how to fix it. He had few Vulcan friends, and no living Vulcan relatives. Going to a hospital here on Earth would be pointless, as hardly any Human doctors were at all familiar with Vulcan anatomy--
Oh. Right. Of course. Clearly, his brain was not functioning optimally. He only had to ask himself who he trusted to go to for help, and the answer would be beyond obvious.
Which was how he found himself standing outside a familiar house, fighting for coordination so he could call Sid to unlock the front door and let him in.
"Damn it, Sidney," he heard himself whine, watching helplessly as his fist pounded the ornate black-and-gold door. He didn't have to wait long for it to unlock. Sid's square face stared out at him, hazel eyes wide and startled.
"What is it?" he asked, hand immediately going for Jonny's bare wrist to tug him inside. Sid had touched him like this countless times, all the way back to when they were kids together, before his control had been honed and tempered. Jonny did not remember ever feeling such a frantic influx of emotions seeping under his skin. He could practically hear Sid's thoughts, a jumble of 'he looks so bad', and 'what do I do', and 'shit, JONNY'.
"Jonny, what's wrong?" Sid finally said out loud, dropping Jonny's wrist when Jonny could only stare at the one place they touched, sparing the rest of his energy to keeping himself from grabbing Sid and pushing his face in Sid's neck, biting at the spot where it met his shoulder.
"Sid," he muttered. His voice was hoarse beyond recognition. "I don't know—something's happening to me—I can't think. Help me?"
"Shit, Jonny, shit," Sid stammered, face pale. In contrast, Jonny was sure his was green with exertion; his skin felt damp and liquid, covered in what he could only assume was sweat - even though that was such a rare occurrence that, had he not felt like he was on the verge of cracking, Jonny would have dismissed it altogether as being out of the realm of possibility.
"Okay," Sid said, touching Jonny again to guide him deeper into the house. Evidence of packing was everywhere; in two weeks, both of them would be leaving for Starfleet Academy, the culmination of their hopes and dreams from the time they were five years old. Through the touch, Jonny could feel Sid's efforts to calm himself and focus his mind. Jonny wished he could leech strength from that like he always had before – but that peace seemed so far away as to be in a different universe.
At the same time, he was aware of a growing pressure behind his sternum, spilling in a scalding flash down his body and into his gut, turning his insides molten. He gasped, trying to suck more air into his lungs.
"Sid," he croaked, staring at Sid's lively, gorgeous eyes, his lips bitten red with worry, the fast beat of his pulse under his skin, and all of a sudden the bottom dropped out of his stomach, and he was drowning in want.
With a growl, Jonny leaned in and kissed Sid's mouth, tongue darting out to demand access. His hands came to fasten on both cheeks of Sid's ass without volition. Sid let out a startled squeak but kissed back, pliant and open as always. Jonny could spare just a thought of thanks that this wasn't the first time they'd done this; that being two children raised half in one world and half in another, made for a bond not easily broken.
"Wait," Sid grunted against Jonny's mouth. "Wait, Jonny. Is your control slipping? No, stop that, listen, this is important. Are you getting heightened emotional transference? Is your—oh, yes, it is," he said, a hint of satisfaction threading into his voice, the pleasure of being right that Jonny himself knew intimately well, and "Really, Sid? Really? Now?"
"Shut up, idiot," Sid snapped. "You're going into Pon Farr, don't you get it? I told you you'd have it." He was practically gloating, good God.
"You are the worst friend," Jonny complained, more so that he'd have something to focus on other than the realisation that fuck, this was happening to him. He didn't think he had enough Vulcan in him. Heh.
…Fuck. "Sid," Jonny whispered, skin crawling with waves of hot and cold. "What do I do?"
Sid rolled his eyes, snagging the collar of Jonny's shirt and dragging him deeper into the house, up the stairs and into Sid's room, familiar-smelling and warm, soothing his eyes with more black and gold highlights.
"On the bed," Sid directed, and Jonny went without protest, freaked out by the violent urge to yank Sid down with him, roll on top of him and shove his cock inside Sid's body until they both screamed.
Sid, meanwhile, was talking on his ancient phone and ignoring Jonny's incredulous glare.
"Yeah, Mom, it's happening, just like I said. No, he's not, but he will be. I'll take care of it." Sid's face was scarlet, but his voice was sure, and honestly, Jonny was more grateful than he could say for the easy confidence Sid exuded when in charge. "Just... Yeah, a hotel might be good. Or go stay with André, she must be freaking out just as much, I doubt he was thinking clearly enough to call her. No, he's about to lose it, we'll probably be out of touch for a couple of days. We'll be fine, I promise. I know about this, remember? Yeah. Thanks. We'll call when it's over."
All the while, Sid's fingers were busy opening buttons and lowering zips and basically getting stark naked while Jonny fisted the covers and whined. He didn't dare ask Sid what on Earth he was doing; part of him hoped he already knew, and the other part was too mortified by the possibility that he'd misunderstood the whole thing. The skin that Sid's clothes revealed was smooth and pale, a beautiful array of muscles shifting underneath. Jonny's whole body clenched when Sid pushed down his trousers, baring his gorgeous, shapely ass. He must have made some kind of desperate sound because Sid turned to face him, cock swinging between his thighs, already half-hard.
"Are you--" Jonny croaked, licking his dry lips.
Sid raised an eyebrow, but seemed to realise that it was pointless to expect coherence from Jonny when he was like this. If Sid was right, if this was Pon Farr, then Jonny was in for one hell of a ride – nauseating, vicious, wringing out every last bit of strength from his body. And Sid seemed determined to hitch a spot on it.
Before Jonny could protest, Sid crawled up onto the bed, knees pushing between Jonny's calves. A scalding flush took over him as Sid kept on moving, spreading Jonny's legs with his and settling between them like there was no place else he'd rather be.
"Of course I am," Sid said shortly, rolling his eyes. "Did you think I'd leave you to deal with this alone? Or worse, drag some random person off the street while you beg to be fucked? No, Jonny. You and I are staying right here for as long as this takes. ...That is," and for the first time Sid seemed uncertain, holding himself carefully above Jonny's body, no matter how badly Jonny wanted to feel him against his front. "If that's okay with you? I mean, if you'd rather not, with me, then... Well, I don't know what we could put together at such short notice, but we'd think of something--"
Jonny had definitely had enough of this. Sid sounded willing, eager, even if his sense of self-preservation left something to be desired, and Jonny was selfish, and desperate, and he would take what Sid offered and be grateful for the gift.
He took hold of Sid's arms, curled his long fingers around the bulky muscle that flexed under the skin, and pushed. Sid squeaked when he found himself airborne and on his back, Jonny straddling his waist, helpless to stop his ass from rubbing against Sid's now-stiffened cock.
"Thank you," Jonny managed to push out between his teeth, before he leaned in to devour Sid's mouth again. Sid made a noise that was somewhere between a growl and a whine and went pliant under him, arms resting to the sides of his head where Jonny had pinned them. His hips flexed under Jonny's weight, cock sliding slickly between Jonny's cheeks.
Jonny had read about this. Okay, Sid had forced him to read about this. Jonny didn't think he was Vulcan enough for it to ever put on an appearance. Certainly that's what he'd been told all along, before he left Vulcan after his father's death. Sid, though – Sid had been convinced all along that it was only a matter of time for Jonny to experience this. Sid's father was Earth's Ambassador to Vulcan, but Sid was the one who read voraciously about the Vulcan culture and traditions. Sid was the one who learned the language and dived head-first into the experience of being on a different world. It was a standing joke between them that Jonny was the half-Vulcan, half-Canadian hybrid, but the fully human Sid was the person who knew more than Jonny did about his own culture. And so when Sid spoke, Jonny had learned to listen. It was always so, ever since they met at the age of six, two boys who looked remarkably similar for all the ways in which they were different.
Jonny forcibly yanked his mind back to the point. He was losing focus fast, perception narrowed down to sensations and random thoughts flickering through his consciousness. Thanks to his reading, he knew what the process entailed. Complete loss of control, no focus, body burning with the need to fuck and be fucked. Mind burning with its own fuel, grasping wildly for another to latch on to, to dive into and fasten itself to it like an anchor. Jonny had to use these last few moments of control to make sure Sid knew what he was getting himself into.
"Sid, the burn, the, the meld, if you don't want it, tell me now, I won't be able to ask you again later."
Sid hummed against Jonny's shoulder and Jonny's whole body stiffened, cock spurting between them. His skin felt like one giant nerve ending, the slightest touch setting him alight. Gods knew that by the end of this, they would probably trash the room and make a wreck of each other. Jonny bent down to touch his forehead to Sid's, gasping for breath.
"Sid, please. Tell me," he begged.
Sid shook his head, messing their hair together. "Do what you will, Jonny. I'm with you. You're my best friend, you know me better than anyone in the known worlds. You know I want this."
Jonny knew Sid liked sex, of course, no matter how uncomfortable it made him to talk about it with other people who were not Jonny and hadn't given (and received from) him his first blowjob. But this wasn't just sex. This was... There would come a time when they wouldn't be able to tell who was who, what part of them belonged to which body. Jonny wasn't sure he wanted that with Sid, and he was pretty sure Sid didn't want that with him, either, not forever.
"Jonny," Sid said, before nudging his head to kiss him deep and filthy. "This isn't marriage. It isn't bonding. It just is. We won't break, I promise. You'll still be my best friend when this is over. Nothing could change that."
Jonny exhaled noisily. His body seemed to be melting into Sid's, the last of his control fading away into nothing. He nuzzled at Sid's neck, pressing his open mouth into the soft, familiar-smelling skin.
"Please," he begged, body taking over and trying to fuck itself on Sid's cock, burning to be filled. "Sid, I need it."
"Okay, Jonny, okay," Sid murmured. His arms felt a little stiff under Jonny's grip, so he tried to loosen it and immediately felt Sid's sharp exhale against his chest.
"Was I hurting you?" he asked, horrified. Under his gaze, blood flowed back into the yellow-white marks on Sid's skin, shaping them into fingerprints, bruises that would last for a while by the look of them.
"It's okay," Sid said, smiling. Before Jonny could protest, Sid leaned up and kissed him again, licking dirty and wet into Jonny's mouth. Jonny felt his muscles relax all at once; a trickle of something wet trailed down his thigh.
"Lubricant for when you want to get fucked," Sid murmured when Jonny tried to stiffen again. "I could just slip my cock right inside you, take you deep and hard. Would you like that, Jonny?"
Jonny was honestly not aware that his throat could make a noise like the one he tried to muffle into Sid's mouth.
"Stop screwing around," he managed to growl. "Fuck me now, or I'm going to hold you down and fuck myself on you."
Sid's breath caught; his fingers squeezed hard at Jonny's ass before pulling the cheeks apart.
"Go on, then," he said, holding Jonny steady so he could finally, finally start pushing down on Sid's cock. Jonny gasped, mind awash with the exquisite sensation of being filled. His very skin felt like it was vibrating, matching itself to Sid's resonance. His stomach contracted and he came again, spilling on Sid's toned abdomen. It didn't seem to affect his erection at all; he was still stiff as the rocks on Vulcan, immovable like the mountains crawling over the surface. He still needed so, so much more.
"Jonny," Sid sobbed. When Jonny looked down at him, his teeth were biting down tightly onto his lower lip, turning it blood-red. "Can you move? Please? I need to, God, Jonny!"
Oh yeah. He could do that. He wanted to do that, take Sid apart, find out what made him scream. They'd had sex before, but nothing like this - Jonny's hands pressed to Sid's chest, feeling his thoughts, looping his emotions through Jonny's palms and into his head. Sid was desperate and eager, a little worried, though not for himself; Jonny could hear his name crawling through Sid's thoughts, tinged with affection, blessedly free from the pain of unrequited emotions. Sid might know Vulcans better, but Jonny knew people. He knew what made them tick, and he didn't even need to use touch most of the time to find out. People's emotions were an open book to him, always had been. It's how he knew he and Sid would be friends basically for as long as they lived. It was easy, so easy to be with Sid; no demands for things Jonny couldn't give, nor any resentment for the way Sid's mind worked. Jonny laughed as he sat back, working Sid deeper inside him. Sometimes, Sid was more Vulcan than Jonny ever hoped to be.
"God, fuck, yes, please," Sid babbled, voice gone deep and dark with need. It sparked Jonny's own again, like a feedback loop that ensnared them, drove them higher into the vortex of lust. Under his thighs, Jonny felt Sid's body start to contract and lose rhythm; it felt so good to be free like this, to not have to think, control himself every second. Here, Jonny could let go; he was known, bone-deep, known and accepted. Between them, he could just be.
He let go, pushing down onto Sid's skin and inside his head, taking him with him when he went.
"Jesus. Fucking. Christ," Sid panted afterwards, as Jonny lay sprawled half on top of him. "This wasn't like I thought it would be."
"Bad?" Jonny slurred.
The silence lasted for about five seconds before Sid snorted. "Does it feel to you like I'm in a bad place right now, Toews?" Sid snarked, pushing into Jonny a wave of exasperation tinged with fondness.
"Shut up," Jonny said, because he couldn't just let Sid roll all over him here. "How'm I supposed to know this shit?"
"Point," Sid shrugged. One of his hands came up to rest atop of Jonny's, two of his fingers hooking around Jonny's index and middle digits, stroking them easily. Jonny smiled into Sid's chest. Sid knew how much Jonny liked kissing like this, soft and uncomplicated. "Hey, you're not freaking out as much as I thought you'd be."
It was Jonny's turn to shrug as best he can, tucked into Sid's body as he was. "I think it's because I'm with you. You've seen me out of control before. And truth be told, I kinda like it. Every once in a while."
Sid shook with suppressed giggles, head tilting back to bare his neck at the ceiling. Jonny nipped it vindictively.
"You competitive bastard," Sid wheezed. "'Course you'd be better at being human than like sixty percent of the population."
"Fuck off, I still have the highest score in the science class," Jonny countered, put-off.
"Man," Sid sighed. "I can't wait for us to get to the Academy. There's bound to be someone there who can take you off your high-and-mighty horse."
"You've been trying for the past ten years, look where that got you," Jonny smirked.
"I swear to God, Toews," Sid said threateningly. Jonny put his head up with some effort just for the satisfaction of raising an eyebrow at him. "I don't even know why I like you," Sid whined, smacking a hand down on Jonny's right ass cheek, and just like that, the fiery chasm was back. Jonny gasped, head thrown back, room swimming before his suddenly dilated pupils.
"Again?" Sid asked, more curious than complaining.
"Again," Jonny confirmed. Before Sid could move at all, Jonny lifted up on his knees and flipped him over in one smooth arch, leaving him sprawling on his stomach and bitching in faux indignation. Jonny put his mouth on Sid's neck, sucking a deep, satisfying bruise into the back of it. "I'm going to fuck you this time, until you're crying and begging me to let you come," he murmured against the side of Sid's ear, relishing the full body shiver that proclamation elicited.
"Lube's in the bedside table," Sid instructed breathlessly, ass arching to press against Jonny's already painfully hard length. The hurricane of desire lifted him up again; he barely had the presence of mind to shove a couple of lube-covered fingers inside Sid before he followed them with his cock, pressing in until Sid was keening under him, trying to buck up harder against Jonny's hips.
"Nuh-uh," Jonny warned, pressing down on Sid's wrists. For a brief, violent moment, he wanted to squeeze them hard enough to hear the bones grind together, until Sid bore his mark for weeks. He sucked in a deep breath, and another, until the urge passed. That wasn't him. He wasn't his Vulcan ancestors, fighting and hurting for the sake of it. If Sid wanted bruises, he could damn well ask for them. Jonny wondered for a second if it was his Human side that afforded him a way to cope with the shock of his control crumbling into nothing, throwing him out into the void. He should be terrified; any proper Vulcan probably would be. But Jonny Toews wasn't a proper Vulcan. He was just himself, the hybrid runt so many Vulcans had called him, and by all the Gods, this felt good. Listening to Sid lose it beneath him, breath speeding up and breaking into harsh moans, body flushing a rich pink tint, so different than the green rising to the surface of his own skin – it was every bit as exquisite as the wonders his mind could perform when he was calm, cool, collected, thoroughly himself. But this was him, too. He vowed that he wouldn't forget it.
"Fuck, fuck, make me come, you green-blooded bastard," Sid yelled at last, after Jonny had spent as long as he could teasing himself, teasing them both. "I'll string you up by your pointy ears else, see if I don't!"
"I'd like to see you try," Jonny grunted into his ear, but grabbed a hold of his hips and tilted, until the tip of his cock was ramming against Sid's prostate with every stroke. Sid started to moan high and desperate, and it wasn't long at all before he was clenching down on Jonny and yelling some more, taking Jonny down with him, making him spill inside Sid's body in a rush of gratitude and affection for this annoying mouthy human that was the best friend Jonny had ever had.
"I don't like you at all," Sid complained a while later, voice muffled from how his face was mashed into the pillow. Jonny could be full-blooded Vulcan and still be helpless to stop the self-satisfied huff of laughter that spilled out of his mouth.
"Sure, Sid," he said magnanimously. He felt better after six full hours of sex, but he knew he wasn't out of the woods yet, not by a long shot. He also knew that Sid was all fucked out, loose and pliant, rid of that permanent edge of anxiety that seemed to drive him. He also probably wouldn't be able to get it up for some time, but that was no reason why Jonny shouldn't indulge himself.
"What are you doing, Jonathan?" Sid asked suspiciously, before cutting himself off on a startled yelp, hips jerking under Jonny's hands. Jonny just smirked and leaned in again, licking the dribble of come that was leaking out of Sid's pink-tinged hole.
"Cleaning you up," he said innocently. Sid spluttered, before jerking again on a small moan.
"I can't get hard again, you utter ass," he complained.
"That's fine," Jonny said, aiming for soothing. "I can."
Sid spluttered some more, before all the fight went out of him and he flopped back onto the bed, contending himself with small whines of pleasure as Jonny went to town, not so much cleaning him as messing him up some more, spit mixing with come to make Sid's ass all shiny and so, so tempting for Jonny to just shove back inside, sheathe himself in the wet, tight heat. The noises from under him had changed in pitch in the time since Jonny started, growing more and more urgent.
"You ready to go again?" he rasped. His voice was nearly gone and he hadn't even sucked Sid's cock yet. Interesting.
"Jonathan?" Sid said, his own voice measured but with a thrum that made Jonny grin.
"Put your dick back up my ass this instant, or so help me God, I am going to tell everyone in the Academy that you get whiskey dick off one beer."
Jonny threw back his head and laughed long and hard. It felt... It felt really, really great.
"Aye aye, Captain," he joked. Sid and himself were both in agreement that they'd try for command track. During his years on Earth, Jonny had learned that he liked working with people, had a knack for leading them; and as much as Sid liked to object, Jonny knew for a fact that he had a devoted following of friends who would each of them cut a bitch if someone so much as touched Sid with ill intent. As someone of the same inclination, Jonny could relate.
"And don't you forget it," Sid said tartly. Just for that, Jonny bit him on one ass cheek, hard enough to leave behind a ring of marks.
"Bet you I make Captain before you," he said, dragging his tongue over the reddened skin just to hear Sid squawk.
"You will not, you dick. Now, are we going somewhere here, or d'you think I could catch a nap?"
Jonny couldn't let that kind of insubordination slide. Coping with Sid was excellent practice for when he had his own bunch of lunatics to command.
"I'll give you napping," he muttered, and got to work.