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Ring Ring

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Her phone buzzed. She picked it up and glanced idly at the screen. “Text message from Fox Mulder”, said the screen. She tapped it to open it.

“Scully, you there?”

“Doing paperwork,” she texted back. “Everything okay?”

“This new phonograph is cool,” he texted. “I mean phone. I don’t know why it did that.”

“Sometimes it happens,” she texted.

He texted her a picture of a smiley face. “Whoa wait. How did that happen?”

She let him work it out for himself. That was worth fifteen minutes of paperwork. She ignored the frowny face, the kissy face, the crying face, and the grinning face, signing her name to the final page of her report.

“Hey, remember when we used to investigate this?” Mulder texted, with three tiny piles of poop.

She ignored that too and went on to the next file.

“Who could ever use all of these?” he asked. “Oh, hey this would have come in handy [alien emoji]”

“Seems like we communicated fine before,” she texted back.

“What do you want for dinner?” he texted. “[Pizza emoji] [spaghetti emoji] [ramen emoji]”

She glanced at her phone and turned the page. She knew by now that indulging Mulder rarely ended well. She knew it in her heart and her bones, and yet she still couldn’t resist.

“Or we could go out for a [beer emoji] [wine emoji] [martini emoji] if you’re feeling adventurous.”

Scully sighed and tapped the various figures on the page with her pen.

“Personally I’m in the mood for [sushi emoji]”.

She waited, one eyebrow raised at the screen.

“If you know what I mean.”

The next text was the tongue emoji next to the sushi emoji. She rolled her eyes. He had a prodigious intelligence and he applied it assiduously to exactly these practicalities. Mulder could have sexted in cuneiform. He could find nuance in a takeout menu.

“And maybe some [melon emoji] [melon emoji] for dessert?” he texted. “If they’re in season.”

“Don’t squeeze them too hard and they might be,” she murmured to herself, but kept reading. Her phone buzzed. It was the peach emoji. Then the banana emoji and the winking emoji. Then the kissing emoji. Then the in love emoji and the ring emoji and the question mark emoji. She picked up her phone.

“I’ll be home in an hour. Not even you can propose by text message.”

“Got your attention though. [kissy wink emoji]”

She sighed. “You have always had my attention. The faster I finish this, the faster I can come home.”

He sent her the file emoji and the fire emoji.

“You were pretty unhappy the last time that happened,” she texted back.

“[alien emoji] [skull emoji] [crying emoji]”

She waited and signed another report.

“[hamburger emoji] [beers emoji]?”

“Fine,” she texted back. “Not steak and champagne?”

“Depends on your answer,” he texted. “Also depends on whether I can get more of these little pictures.”

“One hour,” she texted.

He texted her the cow emoji and the grapes emoji. “A little rare but there you go. Steak and champagne to go with my question.”

“We’ll talk when I get home,” she texted and silenced her phone, turning it face down, but she was biting her lip to suppress a smile when she opened the next file.