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I Trust You

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Eren’s already right on the edge when Levi’s teeth scrape down the side of his neck, his voice rough against Eren’s skin, and his hand tight and damp and perfect around Eren.

“Too bad we don’t have a butt plug. Then I could fill you up and suck you off at the same time.”

Levi's voice is hoarse, so rough it barely makes it out, and Eren hears himself whine, the heat inside him finally snapping. Can't do anything but shake through it, desperately grabbing at Levi, with his dick pulsing between Levi’s fingers, and Levi’s groan barely making it in over the rush in his ears, with the way his heart’s slamming against his ribs.

“Shit, Eren, you’re perfect.”

It sounds pretty close to reverent, almost – sounds like Levi’s teeth are damn near grinding together – and it’s enough to drag another whine out of him. Enough to give him the strength to tighten his legs around Levi. He can feel his muscles contracting around Levi – blushes all over again, with it – and holds on tighter to Levi as Levi groans, again, his thrusts stuttering. His fingers are still loosely wrapped around Eren’s dick. Eren feels like he’s going to fly off the bed.

“Love you, love –”

He can’t help it, he can’t – Levi shudders all over, his eyes squeezing shut, and Eren can feel him spill, hot and wet, inside him. It’s enough to make him whine, again, clutching even tighter to Levi as Levi goes still; and then he pretty much just fucking collapses on him. Just barely manages to hold himself up enough to not crush Eren. Eren doesn’t care. He fucking loves it. Knows that Levi knows that he loves it. Threads his fingers into Levi’s hair as Levi shakes and pants against him, face hidden in his shoulder, and little tremors still running through his body, and –

Eren wants to stay like this forever. Wants to just lie here and hold on to Levi forever. 

Isn’t sure how long they stay like that. Bites his lip when Levi finally sucks in a breath and –slowly – pulls out – Eren can feel how wet and sticky he is, between his legs – and then Levi hovers, just for a moment, before he curls up against Eren. Rests his head on Eren’s shoulder and audibly swallows when Eren tries to pull him in closer, still barely able to move. Eren’s heart is slamming, and Levi’s breath is warm against him. Ends up on his side with Levi’s face buried against his chest, Eren’s chin resting on top of his head, and his arms wrapped tight around Levi.

“You… you’re such a fucking sap.”

Levi sounds like he’s pretty much fucked both of their brains out. Sounds absolutely exhausted. Eren can’t stop smiling, suddenly, and he tightens his arms around Levi, trying to get him closer.

“Your sap, though.”

Levi makes a scoffing sound, and then presses closer. Seems to hesitate, for a second, before he makes another irritated little noise; and Eren just closes his eyes and waits. Slides his hands down the curve of Levi’s back, as gently as he possibly can. He knows Levi’s silences, now. Knows when he’s trying to say something. Barely hears it, it’s so soft, muffled against his chest.

“You... you, too.”

Eren knows to not make a big deal of it. Knows how much it takes for Levi to say it.

Swallows and pulls Levi in as close as he can get him, loving the way Levi sighs and goes pretty much boneless against him. Blinks against the catch in his throat and holds on tighter as Levi tries to snuggle closer, burying his face in Eren’s chest as Eren tightens his arms around him, and –

There was a time, once, when Eren thought that he’d never be happy again.

He was wrong.

And he’ll kill every titan in the world before he lets any of them take this man away from him.

- - -

It’s only much later that Eren remembers the butt plug comment.

They had figured out, very early on, that all Levi had to do was croon some filth into Eren’s ear, and Eren would become an absolute mess. It’s a regular occurrence, now. They both love it.

Levi’s never mentioned a butt plug, though.

And, of course, Eren remembers this comment while they’re right in the middle of cleaning. Ends up flushed all the way down his neck and clutching at his mop so hard it makes his fingers hurt. Feels eyes on him, and looks up to finding Levi staring at him from the other side of the room. Just about bites through his lip at the coolly appraising sweep of Levi’s eyes down his entire body, before his eyes end up back up on Eren’s face. Eren can feel how hot his cheeks are.

“Something I should know about?”

He’s smirking. Fucking smirking.

What an asshole.

Eren loves him so much.

Grits his teeth and manages to shake his head – thank fuck there’s nobody else in the room with them – and just about trips over his own feet as he goes back to cleaning, his hands sweaty on the mop handle. Can still hear Levi smirking at him, and it’s enough to make Eren’s heart beat a bit harder.

Alright. Alright, this – this might need to happen.

But where does he even start?

- - -

He and Levi aren’t a secret.

Haven’t been, for a long time now. Eren had been in charge of telling his friends, and Levi had been the one to hell Erwin and Hanji. That very same day, Erwin had found Eren and – terrifyingly – sat him down for a chat that basically amounted to, ‘Please don’t break Levi’s heart.’ Levi hadn’t gotten a similar conversation. Eren knows, because he’d asked him about it, later. And Eren’s never going to forget that it was Levi who Erwin had thought needed protecting, and – he’s grateful for Erwin. Grateful that Levi’s had someone to help him out for years, now.

But, holy fuck, Eren can’t go to Erwin with this.

The thought alone has him muffling a somewhat hysterical laugh.

And, alright, he could ask Hanji, maybe. Hanji, of everyone, might know how to help him.

But he can’t ask Hanji. Hell, he can’t go to anyone with this, really.

And not for himself. For the chance to have Levi fuck him with some kind of toy, Eren would be completely okay with blushing his way through a conversation with Hanji. It’s more that he can’t do that to Levi. Doesn’t want to share the details of their sex life with anyone. Levi’s the most private person Eren’s ever known. Eren just – he can’t take his questions to anyone they know.

So what the fuck is he meant to do?

It’s not like he can wander off on his own, either. It wouldn’t be safe, to start with; and he’d also be missed pretty much immediately, so – how the hell is he meant to make this happen?

- - -

Later that night, he ends up lying in bed with Levi, the air cool on his skin.

Eren’s already out of his shirt, down to nothing but his pants; but Levi’s in no hurry, it seems. Still has all his clothes on, and is propped up on one elbow, trailing his fingers along Eren’s chest and stomach as Eren lies there on his back and tries his best to not squirm all over, his pants tented obscenely and his fingers twisted in the sheets. He’s flushed pretty much all the way down his neck and chest, at this point. Grits his teeth and tries to think over how hard his heart is beating.

Shit, it’s hard to think when Levi’s looking at him like that.

“Um… Levi, I – um…”

“Mmm?”

“I – had an idea.”

“That so?”

Levi’s fingers don’t stop their slow slide, and Levi’s eyes are still fixed on the movement, and – he gets like this, sometimes; just wants to lie Eren out and look at him – and Eren suddenly has to close his eyes, his heart doing that thing where it aches and feels like it’s too big for his chest.

Shit, Levi’s wrecked him. Eren hadn’t known that anyone could ever love him like this.

“Eren?”

Levi’s fingers are gentle on his collarbone, now; and Eren sucks in a breath.

Right. He needs to do this. Needs to just fucking say it.

Shit, he’s so lucky.

“It’s – uh, it’s a sex thing.”

“A sex thing, hmm?”

And – Eren’s blushing even worse, instantly. Gets his eyes open to find Levi smirking at him. It’s all Eren can do to poke him with a finger, with how weak his limbs are. Swallows when Levi’s lips turn up even further, before he drops his head down to rest his cheek on Eren’s chest.

“You can ask me anything, kid. You know that.”

Fuck.

Eren, suddenly, feels a bit like he wants to cry. Shit. He needs to get it together.

Takes a deep, steadying breath, and gets his fingers up to wrap in Levi’s hair, cradling his head against his chest. He can feel how hard his heart is beating, right underneath Levi’s cheek.

Shit, how did he get this lucky.

Gives it a moment longer until he thinks he can speak again.

“It’s, uh – there’s something I wanted to try with you, and I-I think that you’d really like it, too, but I need to ask someone else to make it happen a-and I was just wondering if it was okay to –”

“What the hell are you planning?”

There's no heat to it, though, and Levi still feels pretty relaxed against his chest; and Eren lets out the breath he was holding.

“It’s a surprise.”

“Of course it is.”

He sounds desert dry, now, but he’s gone back to kissing – slowly – across Eren’s chest; and Eren tightens his fingers a bit in Levi’s hair. Knows just how much Levi loves it. Hears Levi’s sharp little inhale, before his eyes flutter shut, and he bites his lip and leans up into Eren’s touch.

“Who – who y-ya gotta ask?”

Shit, that’s hot. Levi, stuttering. Eren’s suddenly very aware of how hard he is in his pants. Fuck.

Keep it together. He needs to keep it together.

“Um. Hanji. They’re probably the only one who’d –”

“I’ll never hear the end of this.”

It’s not a no. It’s nowhere even close to a no. Eren swallows.

“So I can ask –”

“As long as it’s just them and no one else, I don’t care.”

Eren swallows, again. Shit. Shit, this is actually going to work.

His heart is suddenly beating very, very hard in his chest.

“And – you don’t wanna know what I’m asking before I –”

“I trust you.”

He says it like it’s nothing – eyes still closed, and his cheek resting on Eren’s chest, again – and Eren knows that it’s not nothing. Knows that it’s just about as hard for Levi to say as, ‘I love you.’ Can see the slight hint of pink on Levi’s cheeks, and – shit, Eren loves this man. Loves him so much. Only realizes he’s waited too long, though – his chest too tight to speak, and the words all stuck in his throat – when Levi swallows and opens his eyes. He looks a bit embarrassed, now.

“However, if you are quite done planning our future sexual deviancies, for now why don’t we –”

He doesn’t get a chance to finish, though – barely skims his fingers along the top of Eren’s pants – before Eren’s tugging him up for a kiss. Gently – carefully – pulls him up by his hair, and feels Levi’s mouth still against his, before he sighs and opens to it, going pretty much boneless, and –

Neither of them had known much about kissing, when this started.

Together, they’ve gotten really fucking good at it.

And Eren’s doing his best to kiss Levi as gently as he knows how.

Can gradually feel all the tension bleed out of Levi. Cups Levi’s cheeks with his palms and holds him, as softly as he can, until he finally pulls away, a bit, leaving them breathing against each other.

“I trust you, too.”

His voice is all fucked up, and he can feel the way Levi sucks in a breath. Ends up closing his eyes as Levi swallows and rests their foreheads together, still breathing soft and shaky against Eren.

“Thanks, kid.”

Fuck. 

Eren is so absolutely completely screwed.

Wraps his arms around Levi and pulls him in for a hug. Gets them as close together as they can get. Feels Levi press a bit deeper into his shoulder, like even this isn’t close enough; and Eren just closes his eyes and holds on tight, something inside him of him feeling a bit like he’s flying.

- - -

The conversation with Hanji goes better than anticipated.

Eren’s not quite sure what he was expecting, really. Maybe a shit-eating grin, or at least a little bit of teasing.

Instead, after he manages to stutter out what he wants, Hanji just stares at him for a second, before their eyebrows knit together.

“A butt plug, huh.”

“Um. Yeah.”

“Hmm.”

Hanji’s expression is still more ponderous than anything else. Eren can actually feel himself starting to fidget. Then, suddenly, Hanji’s lips twitch up into what looks like a pleased smirk.

“Ya know what? I might actually be able to help you. Give me, umm… give me like a week. I’ll ask around.”

Hanji’s still looking pretty pleased, and Eren takes a deep breath. Shit, this might actually work

Still, there’s a rather critical factor, here.

“And you’ll be, um –”

“Don’t worry, Eren. I am, on occasion, capable of tact.”

And – Eren opens his mouth, and then closes it again. Isn’t quite sure how to – realizes that Hanji’s grinning at him, like they know exactly what’s running through Eren’s mind; and Eren can’t help but grin back, suddenly, a wave of fondness sweeping over him. Fondness, and relief, too.

“I – thank you, Hanji, truly. I really appreciate –”

“No worries. I’ll figure something out. Does Levi know about this surprise?”

“Uh – just that I was asking you for help with something. Not the details.”

“Well, I won’t say a word, then. You spoil that man, you now.”

“I –”

“He deserves it, too. I dunno if I ever said, but I’m really happy for you two. I’ve never seen Levi this… well, happy. It’s like you’ve smoothed down some of his rough edges, ya know?”

Hanji’s still smiling at him, a bit, but Eren suddenly needs to look at the floor. Swallows when Hanji puts a hand on his shoulder. His throat’s pulled too tight and his chest has gone all achy.

“I’ll see what I can do. Give me a week, alright?”

“I – I-I, yeah, that’s fine, of course, I’ll –”

“Excellent. Training tomorrow, right?”

Eren nods. Finally gets his eyes back up, and manages a smile as Hanji squeezes his shoulder.

“Awesome. Talk to ya later, then.”

And – that’s it, apparently, as Hanji’s gone again with a last squeeze of his shoulder, the door swinging shut behind them, and – Eren takes a deep, steadying breath, and then straightens up.

Shit, he’s so lucky to have the friends that he has.

- - -

It takes only four days for Hanji to make good on their promise.

Four days for Eren to end up standing in his room with the toy – free, thanks to a favour that Hanji had finally cashed in on – still in the soft cloth bag that it had come in. Ends up just standing there, alone in his room, his face absolutely burning as he feels the shape and weight of it through the fabric. Can’t even bring himself to take it out yet. His heart’s just slamming too hard.

Shit, his face is going to catch fire if he blushes any worse.

Ends up having to walk a few circles around his room before he finally finds the guts to take it out on it bag. Ends up setting it on the bed, his pulse jumping as he skims his fingers along the smooth side of it. It’s some kind of metal – jet black – and it’s completely and perfectly smooth, cool to the touch, and – Eren’s never seen anything like this, before, but it’s not shaped like a penis. Instead, it starts out small at the top, and then gradually tapers to bigger at the bottom, before going back to really tiny again, with a flat base that’ll be easy for Levi to hold on to, and –

At its largest part, it’s probably just a bit bigger than either of their dicks.

Eren’s suddenly aware that his mouth is dry, and this his ass feels a bit empty, which – it’s such an unexpected – and unexpectedly filthy – reaction that he literally has to bury his face into the bed and groan.

What the hell has he gotten himself into?