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Mechanical Make-do for the Merry Month of Masturbation

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BA held his watch up to his nose and pressed a button. The now glowing watch told him it was May 1st, exactly a year to the day since he’d found out about the Merry Month of Masturbation. It would be another two weeks before the anniversary of the day he found out about his lover’s secret kink. A year ago, at this instant, April had become May in whatever time zone they had been in, and BA had been awakened by a gentle voice calling his name. The tone had clued him in to the idea that his lover was not waking him up for a fight.

“BA, my giant, growly teddy bear, I need to tell you something about May.”

“What?” He’d asked with half his brain still asleep. It was used to having an insane partner with the ability to go days without sleep, so didn’t wake itself up for anything less than a firefight or sex.

“It’s midnight! Right now, it’s Mayday, the start of May. Do you know what that means?”

“It better mean I get more than two hours sleep.”

“You can go back to sleep, I just wanted to tell you why you didn’t have to participate.”

“You woke me up to tell me I can sleep through whatever you’re about to do?”

“Exactly.” HM always sound his most reasonable when he was most insane. “May is Merry Masturbation Month, so I’m going to get started on that instead of waking you up for sex.”

“Merry Masturbation? Does this mean we can’t for the whole month?” BA blamed being mostly asleep on why he went with that question instead of several others that he should have asked.

“Face didn’t say.”

“I need to thank Face for telling you about this, do I?”

“To prevent bodily harm to my best bud, I’m going to say sex is okay, as long as we don’t neglect the masturbation aspect of things.”

“Uh huh.”

“So go back to sleep, I’m going to get started, while looking at your ass.”

HM had shifted onto his back and tossed the sheet off of both of them, before tossing one off on his own. BA hadn’t been able to close his eyes, as HM made such a show of everything and this was no exception. HM had finished off with his familiar cry of ‘baa’ shortly before BA came.

The Merry Month of Masturbation left them both rubbed raw and sporting goofy grins. Watching each other punching the munchkin became their new foreplay. HM would announce his attentions by dropping his pants and turning to BA, leaving BA to make sure no one was around. HM’s exhibitionist streak found BA’s voyeur streak about a week in, and BA found HM in closets, tool sheds, and any room that presented itself. HM would be sprawled across furniture, cars and once a couple of workman’s sawhorses, bashing his bishop.

On one memorable occasion, BA, Face and Hannibal had walked in on HM hanging from the rafters. How he’d gotten the repealing gear to the center of the three story industrial barn in under twenty minutes was anybody’s guess. At least he’d been wearing clothes, so the people under him didn’t get splashed with anything as he came while voicing his familiar ‘baa.’

“Baa?” Face has snickered at BA.

BA glared back as he dared Face to turn it into a full laugh.

Repelling down, HM had answered. “BA is too hard to say with an ‘O’ face.”

Hannibal started coughing behind them, though BA turned to glare at Hannibal and confirm it was a cough and not a laugh. BA had never dared to ask about the baa thing, just as he’d never dared to ask about any kinks HM might have. As much as he loved and needed HM, the man’s brain could still scare BA.

That was why, halfway through May, BA had the turned his eyes from the image of his lover taking himself in hand to the computer screen HM was watching. Two weeks into this, years into their relationship, BA saw something he had to ask about.


“Not vines, tentacles, in this manga anyway. Aliens from another planet came for our resources and found human holes smelled too good not to experiment with. So to keep the aliens happy, a lottery is held and the winner gets to spend days at a time letting the alien tourists plunder their holes.”

“So she’s having sex with aliens to save the world?”

“Actually, that’s a guy, it’s just hard to tell sometimes with this style of drawing.” HM used his free hand to adjust the video player and let BA see the person was male, with an improbably large dick wrapped in a green tentacle. “You’re prettier, naturally, I’m just watching for the tentacles.”

“Okay.” BA murmured, still not sure what to make of the video.

“It’s a fantasy. For it to be better than the real thing, aka you, it has to move into the realm of the impossible.” A nod at BA and HM went back to his video.

Confused by the video, embarrassed by HM’s words, and loving HM for his words, BA had remembered the conversation. He also remembered joining HM on that couch, sucking him down after promising to make up for the missed masturbation later.

In the year since then, BA had been planning. Gathering the supplies, working out the logistics, making it portable so he could set it up wherever they happened to be when May occurred, all these things plus keeping it a secret from the team. Frustrating, but it would be worth it if it made HM happy. Finally having figured all that out, he’d been able to start making the thing. At the beginning of April he’d had to ask Face and Hannibal for help and train them on the equipment. BA was good, ambidextrous even, but he could only work so many miracles at a time.

Finally, all was ready, May was here, they had the time and safety to indulge HM. All was perfect, except HM was actually asleep. He didn’t sleep enough, hardly slept at all, and BA didn’t want to wake him, not even for the plan a year in the making. BA didn’t know if he should wish for sleep or HM to wake, so he laid there and waited.

Snuffling up against his neck woke him, making BA realize he’d decided to sleep after all. He didn’t need to light his watch, as enough sun was coming through the window to show some time had passed.

“BA, you seem to be awake. How about Hercules?” The hand stroking down his cock told BA who HM was referencing, as HM’s pet names for his cock changed often. “Oh, he’s twitching.”

“HM, hold off a minute.” BA muttered, blinking up into HM’s hurt expression. “I’d love it, as would Hercules.”

HM’s face turned showed a manic happiness once again, as it always did when BA went along with his craziness.

“I’ve, we’ve got a gift for you.”

“Should I thank you both before I get it?” This not so subtle invitation had Hercules’ attention.

“No, after. If you can.” That hint of challenge peeked HM’s interest and he bounced off the bed.

“Where is it?”

BA sat up, ignoring HM as he searched the room for his gift. A quick text and BA got out of bed. He’d just pulled his sweatpants up when HM was wrapped around him.

“Do I need to earn my gift?” HM asked in the deep, throaty voice he knew made BA’s eyes roll back in his head.

BA waited until he could see again before replying, his voice rather husky. “You have to follow me.”

BA started to walk, and HM walked with him, still wrapped around BA. He was serious about following BA. It made it awkward to go down the steps, but at last they stood before the door that opened into the garage. Covering the knob with his hand effectively prevented HM from opening it, so BA could say his piece.

“You know what to say to make it stop, this little fantasy I created for you.” It had been hard to find a safeword for a man who made baa noises when he came and was prone to say anything even when he wasn’t lost in pleasure. In the end, they’d settled on safeword.

“Oh, baby, you spoil me.” HM pulled away from BA, letting his erection be the last thing BA felt.

Grinning, BA opened the door and covered the light switch with his hand until HM had walked past him. BA didn’t need to look and see if his team members were there, because the fog was pretty thick and the soundtrack started as BA wrapped the harness around HM’s torso. Once HM was securely tied, BA hooked him into the pulley and pulled. HM giggled as he hung off the floor, and BA grinned as he tied him off and went to the makeshift control booth.

The control booth was a closet, without enough room for them to actually sit comfortably. BA had to step over Face without knocking his Mohawk on the cords and monitors overhead. BA had repurposed the many electronic bugs they had to allow them to see HM from every angle. Every screen in their possession was situated around the control room, and an old window allowed them a direct view of HM.

Hannibal flicked on the light show, and settled behind the machine he was controlling. The warm light and warm voice coming from that box would contrast nicely with the cool temperature in the room. Plus Hannibal got to do some acting, which he always loved. He also got a small tentacle to direct HM’s head around.

Face had the tentacles for HM’s legs and control of HM’s height and orientation. He could gently spin HM or raise his legs higher than his head, anything to make the experience more disorienting for the always oriented pilot. They hadn’t been sure of this when BA first told them, but now he could see the anticipation in their eyes, even in the dim alcove.

“Human.” Hannibal began, his voice a barely audible rumble as he attempted to sound like a sexy alien.

BA was surprised at how well Hannibal succeeded.

“Never has one of your species flown so close to our ships. You have our attention.” The light box was rotated in front of HM’s face, as if interested in the strange specimen it had found.

HM squirmed at the praise, enjoying things too much to participate just yet.

“We had not expected this, so now we must learn of your species. You brought this upon yourself.”

“Oh, kind alien, be gentle.” HM managed through his giggles.

“We begin with the legs.” There wasn’t a script here, Hannibal was improvising based on what he felt HM was ready for. There was a very fine line, about half the size of a strand of spider silk, between what HM was okay with and what would send him into a nightmarish episode.

Face moved his tentacles forward, wrapping around HM’s legs slowly. HM looked down, mesmerized by the rubbery things moving up his legs. Hannibal directed the light down, to help HM see better and adding warmth to the sensation. HM shivered, his cock straining against his boxers.

“We proceed vertically.” Hannibal spoke, and Face moved, pulling on HM’s legs until he could have been lying on his stomach, if he wasn’t in midair.

Face reached for his second set of tentacles, using one to pat HM on the head.

“Yes, relaxing will help this process.”

Face responded by sliding his tentacle in HM’s mouth, rubbing and exploring. They could hear HM over the soft music, hear him sucking on the tentacle in his mouth.

BA shifted in his seat, wondering if he had time to christen the Merry Month of Masturbation before his part in things.

“Fascinating, human. I feel you responding to my probe and it excites me. Do you have other holes?”

HM nodded so vigorously BA wondered if his tentacles would hold up and missed his cue. A punch on the shoulder got him moving, working his tentacles to touch HM’s shoulders. Gently they moved down HM body, BA occasionally triggering the tentacles to squirt warm lube. BA’s tentacles were the most delicate, with the thinnest tips and he slid them under HM’s boxers. When the tentacles under the boxers were thick enough, BA jerked them away from HM. The boxers ripped satisfactorily and HM grinned around the tentacle in his mouth.

“What is this appendage here?” Hannibal said, focusing the light on HM’s cock.

BA turned his tentacles back to start caressing HM’s cock, squirting lube out to mix with the precum HM was expelling.

“You did not have this appendage when we began, and now it drips. I suspect it is involved in your animalistic reproduction.”

“Right you are.” HM managed, even as drool coated the tentacle in his mouth. He went back to sucking enthusiastically on it, and Face moaned in response.

There was a moment where Hannibal and BA stared at Face, but Face didn’t look the least bit apologetic, or aware, so they looked back to HM. BA could tell HM was close, so he pulled his tentacles away from HM’s cock. HM and Face moaned in unison, and Hannibal was a little late with his cue.

“Human, you are hiding more holes. A further examination is called for.” The light began tracking around HM, searching for hidden holes, until it settled to warm up his ass.

Face lifted and spread HM’s legs, curving his back and readying him for BA. Deliberately dragging one tentacle across the tip of HM’s cock elicited a keening noise from HM. BA slid his tentacles up HM’s ass crack, using the bulky parts of the things to hold him open. Then the more delicate, smaller ends could circle back around to probe at his entrance.

“Here it is, a hole you guard with pert mounds of flesh.”

BA looked at Hannibal, surprised by the description. It wasn’t very alien-like, it sounded as if Hannibal occasionally checked out HM’s ass. A little annoyed, a little jealous, BA could understand feeling, but there was a spike in his desire that confused him. Turning back to HM, BA sent a tentacle tip to circle his entrance, teasingly.

“Such a tight hole must guard an important bodily function. Clearly, this is worth exploring.”

BA squirted a good amount of lube before inserting the tiniest tip of the smallest tentacle in HM. Corkscrewing it in gently worked HM open, readying him for the thicker parts of the other tentacles. When he figured the tentacle was as deep in HM as BA’s cock would be, he brought the tip of the other one in to fill the space he had open up.

The delicate work of sliding it in and out of his lover took BA’s attention away from his own need, which was more than he’d expected. He loved watching HM, loved giving HM pleasure, but this combination of love, sex and mechanics was turning on every cell in his body.

Hannibal, having finished with the light and voice for a moment, now got to bring a tentacle forward, to stroke HM’s cock. Face was still working HM’s mouth, occasionally releasing a fine mist of flavored water into HM’s mouth. They all watched, entranced as HM twitched in joy, trying to give pleasure back to the tentacles. BA watched HM’s balls, waited until they were drawn up into his body, and pulled out his corkscrewed tentacle. HM came with a scream, cum shooting randomly as he jerked against his restraints.

BA came with a much softer moan, not the least bit embarrassed about having cum without being touched. His man did that to him, his man enjoying what BA had worked so hard to give him, and BA reveled in it.

“My turn, right?” Face asked, pulling BA from his haze.

Hannibal reached over BA to gently slap Face on the back of his head. “First we release HM, then talk about next.”

BA staggered to his feet, only just making it back over Face without crushing the smaller man. Well, smaller in muscle mass anyway, he was sporting a surprising erection under his slacks. Tearing his eyes away from it, BA tapped Face on his shoulder.

“Let his legs down when I’m next to him.” BA waited until Face nodded in reply before making his way over to HM.

Face lowered HM’s legs and then BA undid the bindings around his torso that were holding him up. HM collapsed onto BA as he was unbound.

“Oh, baby, you spoil me so.” HM muttered, sounding about asleep.

“Knew you’d like it.” BA giggled. “But I think Face wants to be spoiled the same way.”

“Face helped?”

“And Hannibal. Couldn’t work all the controls alone.” BA would have shrugged, but HM was still draped around him.

“I told them you’d be interest in a foursome if they found the right way to ask, but this surprises even me.” HM finished his sentence with a deep kiss, distracting BA from his words.

After cleaning and refilling the machine, Face got his turn. It would be in the middle of HM’s second go that BA would remember his words, or at least one of them.