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Your love is the healing balm to all my yearnings

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Lord Envoy,

I'm writing to you to inform you about the mission you sent us on. Things have been going fast. Everything is smooth and if we're lucky, the Lord of Haixing will agree to your conditions. We hope in the next ten months, we'll be able to settle this business. So do not be afraid Sire. We'll bring our world to justice.

Your faithful servant,

Sir Kunlun

But Shen Wei knew better than to believe that was all to the letter. It couldn't be. So he grabbed his letter opener and separated the two papers stuck together by careful fingers.

Dear Shen Wei,

Do not worry my dear. I am doing fine, and the rest of the team as well. I miss you dearly. Some nights I'm awake with the thought of you. You and your warmth. Sometimes I wake to the cold enveloping my body. It misses yours.

My darling I want to see you. Desperately so. Your presence would be like a soothing balm on my battered body. You could heal all my invisible injuries.

But do not worry. We will meet again. That is a promise. And when we do, my darling, I will finally be able to embrace you.

Your darling,

Zhao Yunlan

Shen Wei remembers. He remembers the warmth of the other's body as it enveloped him in the dark night. He remembers the love in those dark eyes. Eyes that glinted in the candlelight. He remembers all. And he yearns for that love once again.

It's been two months since he last saw his lover. Two months since he could hold him.

On some nights he lies awake, wishing to hold the other. Wishing to feel the love. And other nights he's plagued by nightmares of what could happen to him. If he lost him…

Shen Wei doesn't dare to think about those possibilities. It chills him to the bone, the terror shaking his whole body. He doesn't know how he would survive that.

But the monthly letters help ease his pain. They are a reassurance that Zhao Yunlan is still alive, still fighting out there as the knight he fell in love with. Sir Kunlun.

Every once in a while Shen Wei thinks back to the time they met. Under the bright sunlight, he still sees the glint of the armor, the shine of the brightest eyes he has ever seen. The easy smile that the knight greeted him with. The deep and soothing voice that played on his heartstrings.

If the young Shen Wei knew that a year later that same soothing voice would profess his unending love… he probably wouldn't have believed it. But now Shen Wei couldn't be happier. Because despite having to hide their love, Zhao Yunlan still stuck to his side. He still loves him. And Shen Wei shares that sentiment.

Lord Envoy,

The negotiations are coming to an end. Sire, your prediction was correct. Within this year, we managed to make the deal with the Lord of Haixing and it is all thanks to you. Lord Envoy, in the next week we will finish the negotiations and we'll make our way back to Dixing.

Your faithful servant,

Sir Kunlun

Ten months later, Shen Wei eagerly separates the papers to read the personal letter from his love. The official letter spells hope and Shen Wei can't help but pray for the same hope to be pouring from the other letter.

Dear Shen Wei,

As I wrote in the other letter, we're closing the negotiations in the next week. My darling, it is only a few more weeks and we will see each other. Keep your hope and we will meet soon. As always I love you and I hope your wait hasn't been too bad. My heart is reaching for you and it hopes to see you privately as soon as it is possible.

My dear, I'll keep holding on to the hope that I will be able to hold you through the night once again. I ask you to wait for me my darling. I will be home soon.

Your love,

Zhao Yunlan

Shen Wei's heart soars with happiness, knowing that Zhao Yunlan's return could be only days away. His bed has been so cold without the other and his dreams all nightmares. But with his return, he will be able to hold him, he will be able to kiss him. The space next to him will be filled just like the hole in his heart.

So Shen Wei prepares. He makes sure Sir Kunlun's team will be able to rest after the long journey. He tells the chefs to gather as much food as they can for the big feast. He prepares a celebration for the victory of the negotiations.

And just a week later, the familiar horns sound off. And Shen Wei's heart soars once again. His love is home.

So he puts on his best robes and walks out with his court to watch the team of knights cross the entrance of the palace walls.

Shen Wei has to fight the smile that threatens to take over his face as he looks at the team approaching. His eyes are firmly on one person though. His lover. Because there he is. The same armor glinting in the sunlight. The same smile, bright and easy, though a little tired from the travels and long negotiations. The same bright eyes, shining with happiness and contentment.

And Shen Wei can't help the smile that finally pulls at his mouth when the team stops in front of him.

"Lord Envoy" Zhao Yunlan starts, getting on one knee to properly greet him. "We come bearing great news" the whole team kneels behind him as his loud voice fills the entire hall. "The negotiations are successful and the Lord of Haixing sends you his regards."

"Thank you, Sir Kunlun. You and your team brought great happiness to our land" Shen Wei says, his voice not betraying how happy he actually is. He has to keep this as professional as he can. "To thank you, we will organize a feast. We'd be grateful if you could attend."

"Your wish is my command, my lord" Zhao Yunlan has stood up and now he bows his thanks. "Do you wish for me to fill you in on the process of the negotiations now, or later?"

"If you aren't feeling too tired, I'd be thankful if you could do it now. This is an important development."

"As you wish Sire" Zhao Yunlan bows with respect and Shen Wei can see the little mischievous glint in his eyes that makes his heart flutter.

"Everyone, we shall meet at the feast" Shen Wei talks to the crowd one final time and then turns to lead Zhao Yunlan to his study.

Shen Wei's heart races as they enter the room. There's no one else there. Finally, they are alone.

He catches Zhao Yunlan's arm as soon as the door closes behind them and pulls him in for a deep kiss.

"Shen Wei" Zhao Yunlan breathes against his lips and Shen Wei groans with the relief that floods his whole body. He's here, he's safe.

"Yunlan" he sighs as the other snakes a hand under his outer robes to pull him closer. Now flush against the other's body, he lets all his yearning pour into the kiss and the touches they share.

"I missed you so much, my love" the knight whispers as he pulls away from him just to look at his face. His hands reach up to smooth the furrowed brows out and then cup his face. "You don't know how painful it was to be away from you."

"I imagine it was similarly painful as it was for me" Shen Wei smiles lightly. "Your letters helped me. I'm sorry I could never write back to you."

"Don't" Zhao Yunlan shakes his head. "I knew you couldn't. But I knew you were reading all of them."

"I did. Your words were my pillar. They kept me up and away from collapsing into the longing."

"And the thought of you helped me through these times."

"I love you" Shen Wei can finally say to his face after a year.

"As do I, my darling" Zhao Yunlan smiles and pulls Shen Wei back in for a kiss.

And as they kiss, their invisible injuries heal with the other's love. The wounds close up and disappear without a scar. The pain dissipates into the air and in its place, the love they feel starts rushing like a river. Unspoken words of confessions fill their kiss and the two couldn't be fuller. They're finally back together.