Tony Stark knew that team dynamic was an important thing, and therefore knew that he had to make more of an effort to get along with certain teammates (even though most of the time he really, really didn't want to). There was on in particular that he had trouble with, and knew he had to take matters into his own hands.
He figured that his plan was good for both parties; he would get to go out and drink, they would have a chance to talk in a more natural setting, and, on top of things, he would be giving a lesson in the modern world. Or, at least, that's what he told himself, being of the opinion that this teammate of his did not embrace many of the finer points of current society.
Steve Rogers had no interest in going out, and even less interest in trying to forge a friendship with Tony. His inability to reach any level of intoxication took out any “fun” of drinking (not that he was much of a fan of the idea to start with), and Tony was...not his type of person, to put it nicely.
Still, it was rude to turn down what seemed to be an earnest attempt at mending fences, and Steve was anything but rude. So the two of them went out one night, neither of them really wanting it but both pretending that they did. The location was a small yet lively bar that Tony sometimes frequented when he wanted to keep more of a low profile; he figured a place like that would be a good start for the other man.
From the moment they met up, things were tense and uncomfortable, as usual, and Tony set to drinking immediately, hoping this would solve the problem on his end. Steve purchased a drink to be polite, but he had no interest in trying to keep up with his companion. Instead, he marveled at both the other man's ability to remain upright after the amount he had consumed (though, of course, he did not possess anything akin to Steve's immunity) and their shared ability to find nothing to talk about.
Even after Tony had had enough to “loosen up” (though this did not seem much different from his normal personality), it did not do much to improve the situation. He became a bit more talkative, chatting about inconsequential things, but these topics did not stick in the slightest.
After some time and drinks had passed, Steve heard him mumble something along the lines of, “I think I gotta piss.” However, he didn't make any movement to get up, and carried on as if he hadn't said anything.
For a while, things continued as normal and Tony did nothing to indicate that what he had said was true. In fact, he even continued to drink, as if that would have no effect on the growing situation.
Soon, however, he grew increasingly more agitated, fidgeting in his seat and tapping his foot. He was sitting still less and less often, and appeared to be growing rather desperate, but he didn't acknowledge it. Steve wondered if he should say something, but the situation was already incredibly awkward without him pointing anything out. He much preferred to keep his mouth shut on the matter.
But there was a part of him that was starting to feel bad for the guy. He kept drinking, almost as if he were unaware that that was what was causing the problem, and was no doubt bursting. Steve certainly knew what that felt like, but at the same time, it wasn't exactly his place to remind a grown man to go to the bathroom, no matter how intoxicated he might be.
“Well, I'd say tonight went well,” said Tony, absentmindedly and slightly slurred. “Dunno about you, but I'd say we've done about all we can here. Ya ready to head back yet?”
Steve nodded before saying, “Is there anything else you want to do before we head out?” There, that was certainly subtle enough a reminder.
“Nah.” He shook his head. “I really gotta take a piss, but I'm gonna wait on that till we get back.”
“Are you...sure about that? I don't mind waiting.”
“I'm fine, I'm fine.” He waved a dismissive hand. “S'really no big deal, bathrooms here are disgusting anyway. Let's go!”
“If you say so,” Steve replied, not entirely convinced but unable to really push the issue any further.
It had not really been that long of a trip, so they had opted to walk. It was not exactly a short trip, either, though, and Tony was already incredibly full. This did not register to him, however, and he remained convinced that he could hold it with no problem until they were back.
Steve had his doubts as he watched the way the other man struggled to walk, stopping every now and them to squirm in place yet seeming oblivious to the fact that he was doing so. Anyone who saw them would be able to figure out what the situation was in no time at all.
His steps became slower and slower, while his struggle became more and more apparent. He needed to go faster than this, but his bladder ached so much that moving too quickly would jostle it. Tony was starting to realize that his situation was more dire than he had thought, and that this walk was going to be harder on him than planned.
But even with those thoughts in mind, he didn't feel all that panicked. In fact, he still felt incredibly calm, deciding that everything was going to be alright and that he would most definitely make it. He was a man, after all, and not just any man. He was Tony Stark and he was Iron Man, and he was sure he had a bladder to match that name.
Of course, he was unaware of just how desperate he looked. He had squeezed his cock a few times without even noticing it, and this behavior was causing Steve great embarrassment and discomfort. He tried not to acknowledge what was happening right next to him, but it was hard not to look on with a morbid fascination. He didn't know why he wanted to watch Tony's struggle so much, but he did know that he couldn't wait for this to be over.
The walk felt like it was three times as long as it had initially been, and a few leaks escaped Tony before he was able to stop them. This left a small, dark spot on the front of his pants that Steve struggled to pretend not to notice. Still, he looked calm and unaware that he was losing control of his bladder in the middle of the sidewalk.
And that was almost completely true. He knew, of course, that he was leaking, but he had not let that change his mind about the fact that he was going to make it. He was going to make it, no questions asked.
Except he wasn't. No matter how confident he was about the predicament, his body knew its limitations, and he had zero say in what they were. He had had far too much to drink and had put things off for too long. Now it was too late to do anything to stop the natural outcome.
And then he was hunched over, a hand on his crotch as a steady jet of piss made its escape, causing the wet spot on his pants to grow considerably. It didn't stop there, and soon the spot had expanded quite a bit, running down one of his legs as the contents of his bladder gushed out, splashing onto the pavement once they had made it out of his pants.
Steve looked on with that same morbid fascination, as well as another feeling he could not quite identify, while Tony let out a shameless groan of relief. It was clear that he had been holding in a lot, as the stream lasted for well over a minute. A few passersby watched in shock and amusement, but he was a bit too caught up in the sensation of relief to really notice.
But then he came crashing back down to reality, and he realized exactly what he had done. The shock of the situation sobered him up a bit, and he felt his cheeks grow hot with humiliation. He had really just pissed himself in the street like a child. His pants were damp and growing cold, and a few people still stared at him. He hoped that they were all just as out of it as he had been, or else this might make a headline.
Worst of all, there was Steve standing right there, blushing almost as much as he was. As if it wasn't bad enough that he had pissed himself, he had done it in front of Steve! He would absolutely never live this down.
“L-look, I don't care what it takes, just please never mention this again,” he said, not even able to make eye contact.
Steve nodded briskly, also struggling with eye contact. “I understand. I'll forget this ever happened. You don't need to do anything.” He had no intention of ever talking about it, because he did not want to think about or be reminded of these strange feelings he was having. It would be hard enough to forget about it already, without the reminder he would receive any time he was asked to retell the story.
Tony was surprised that he wasn't going to use this against him. He could easily blackmail him or, at the very least, tell everyone else about it. Maybe they had actually made some progress in their relationship tonight, or maybe it was just Steve being a good guy.
Either way, Tony didn't really care as long as he could get home and get cleaned up without further incident.