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Every Home Should Have One

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Dear Customer;

Dizzocorp Inc. hopes you enjoy using your Humane Hunter Trap and thanks you for your purchase.

Your Humane Hunter Trap is constructed to the highest specifications. It is bullet-proof, fire-proof, salt-proof, bitchface-proof, sound-proof and is guaranteed inescapable by lock-pick, crowbar, well-meaning angel or good kicking.

Your Humane Hunter Trap comprises:

Happihunter™ box trap (please specify size required - small, standard, large or Sam)

Together with:

Large cherry pie served by attractive naked blonde bait (Dean edition)

Decaf skinny hazelnut latte with pumpkin-seed biscotti bait (Sam edition)

Bottle of three-day vintage potato-peelings and antifreeze firewater (Bobby edition)

Your Humane Hunter Trap is most effective when set in the location of a graveyard, a derelict building, a dense wooded forest or a cut-price motel. Please note the Dean edition has a special 'brothel disguise' red light fixture. (Not included as standard).

Your Humane Hunter Trap is fully ventilated, insulated and guarantees no pain or trauma to your captured hunter.

What you do with him afterwards, however, is your own business ...


Please note: Dizzocorp Inc. can take no responsibility for injury, mutilation, exorcism, death, exposure to puppydog-eyes or eternal damnation experienced whilst interacting with your captured hunter.

Happy hunting.

Dizzocorp Inc.