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I'll Slug It Out

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Before, if anyone had asked Rodney what a threesome would involve, he never would have said “planning.”


Sometimes the planning led to interesting results. Like when Lorne's team joined them on a mission and Laura pressed against Rodney, close enough to whisper, “We could slip into his tent tonight, and fuck him,” while Sheppard sat across the fire. They ended up sneaking off into the darkness, where Laura wrapped her legs around his waist and Rodney fucked her hard and fast against a tree.

“Watch him when we get back,” she whispered, in between moans. “He knows where we went. He knows what we're doing right now.”

“Kiss me,” he whispered back, “kiss me while we come, or he'll hear us.”

Rodney could imagine Sheppard's eyes glittering in the firelight, the tight look he'd have on his face when Rodney and Laura came stumbling back into camp.


“What if you just, you know, slipped it into a conversation?”

Rodney snorted. “Oh yes. 'Colonel, what are those puzzling power readings? Let's check it out, and oh, by the way, care to join a threesome?' Ow!” He rubbed at the spot where she'd smacked him and scowled into the darkness at her.

“It's not like you've come up with anything been better,” she snapped and yanked at the sheet until it was up over her shoulder. She scooted closer to his side until she was practically on top of him and slid her hand onto his stomach.

“God, your hands are freezing!” He yelped, and tried to squirm away.

“I know! It's cold in here. I'm trying to warm up.”

Rodney heaved a sigh and pushed at her shoulder until she rolled over. He turned over too, and hauled her back against his chest. “You know, I can feel you gloating,” he mumbled, his mouth pressed against the back of her neck. “You're the only person I've ever met who could turn cuddling into a competitive sport.”

“I just like getting my way.”

Rodney snorted again, and somehow managed to suck some strands of her hair into his mouth. “Ack. I'm going to choke on your hair in the middle of the night.”

“You say the sweetest things, Rodney,” she mumbled, her face hidden against the pillow.

He toyed idly with one of her nipples and out of spite, ground his semi-hard erection against her. She swatted at him, but he just tightened his hold around her waist, and slid his dick a little further into the crease of her ass.

He moved his fingers down her belly to tangle softly in the curly hairs at the junction of her thighs. Laura sighed and arched back against him slightly, and he moved his hand down even further, sliding his fingers in and finding her already hot and slick. Rodney groaned -'semi-hard' a thing of the past. He pressed his hips against her again, hard, and heard her breath hitch.

“You know, Rodney,” she whispered. “If we're going to do what I want to do, we should probably...practice.”


Other times, the planning led to knockdown, drag-out fights that didn't end with sex, which freaked Rodney out more than anything.

“That's the stupidest idea you've had yet,” Rodney said. “And that's saying something.”

Laura narrowed her eyes. “Considering you haven't had any ideas, Rodney, I'd be careful about making fun of mine.”

“I don't understand why you can't just ask him.”

“Why does it have to be me? He's your friend.”

Rodney crossed his arms and glared at her. “Well, it was your idea.”

“Oh, don't even, Rodney! Don't even try to pretend like you don't get off on it, too,” she shrieked, jabbing a finger in his direction.

“Maybe I think he'll be more receptive to the idea if it's you, okay?” Which he regretted the instant the words left his mouth.

“Be careful, McKay. Your insecurities are showing,” she sneered and Rodney tried very hard not to hurl his laptop across the room.

“Fuck you,” he gritted out between clenched teeth.

“Fuck you!”

They didn't speak for nine days after that. Not that Rodney was counting.


Laura showed up at Rodney's door on the afternoon of Day Nine. Her cheeks were flushed, and Rodney couldn't help the little thrill of arousal that sparked through him at the sight of her all sweaty and rumpled.

“If you tell me you're sorry, I'll let you fuck me.”

Rodney's dick twitched, but he'd never been very good at not being an ass, so he glared at her and said “Exactly what do I have to apologize for?”

She slapped the door shut and marched into the room, leaning down until she could whisper in his ear.

Rodney tried to ignore the smell of fresh sweat mixed with the apple shampoo she used, a smell that went straight to his dick.

“Tell me you're sorry,” she whispered, her tongue flicking out to touch the tip of his ear, “and we can have make-up sex while I tell you about the sparring session I just had with Sheppard.”

“I'm sorry.”


But after all of the planning and the fights and the time Rodney spent wondering if Sheppard would freak out and punch him in the face, it was more surprising than anything when it just...happened.

Radek had gotten his hands on the new “Battlestar Galactica”, and somehow he, Rodney, Ronon, Sheppard and Laura ended up squeezed into Rodney's room to watch it. As usual, Ronon made a bed on the floor from Rodney's pillows and blankets, and he and Radek had tumbled onto it, leaving Rodney and Laura on the couch with Sheppard tucked between them.

Radek fell asleep halfway through the second episode, and snored loud enough that even with Ronon poking him in the shoulder every five minutes, it was impossible for anyone to hear anything. Ronon finally slapped Radek on the back, and shook him awake. Radek gave them all vaguely confused looks and Ronon volunteered to herd him back to his room.

Which left Rodney, Laura and Sheppard. Alone.

Laura looked at Rodney behind Sheppard's head and arched her eyebrow. His stomach tensed a little, and it was kind of hard to believe that they were actually going to do this, but he nodded back at her. She gave him a dirty little grin.

Sheppard had obviously noticed their unspoken conversation, because he looked a little uncomfortable. He rubbed the back of his neck, then planted both hands on his knees. “So, uh. I should probably head out too.”

Laura gave Rodney a firm look, the one that said 'I'm going for it and you sure as hell better be ready'. She reached out and put her hand on Sheppard's leg. “You don't have to go.”

Sheppard looked down at her hand and then up at Rodney. “Um.”

Laura slid a little closer to him on the couch and moved her hand even further up his thigh. “Really.”

But Sheppard was still looking at Rodney. His face was scrunched up in confusion and not a little bit of arousal. He was waiting for Rodney, that much was obvious. Rodney didn't stop to think. He reached out and cupped Sheppard's jaw, leaning forward until their lips met. Sheppard gave a low moan in the back of his throat and Rodney opened his mouth, their tongues sliding slick together. When they finally broke apart, they were both panting and Laura was staring at them, her eyes wide.

She licked her lips. “Wow. That was so hot.” Rodney laughed and Sheppard grinned. Laura went back to unzipping his pants. “Do it some more.”

“Wait!” John yelped and both Rodney and Laura froze. Sheppard's cheeks were flushed a dull red, which was when Rodney realized that he was blushing.

“Um. I. I saw you guys. I mean, I watched. I just thought I should tell you that.”

Laura smirked at him. “We know.”

Sheppard-John-looked surprised. “You do?”

Rodney grinned at him. “Let's just say that planning has been half the fun.” He winked at Laura and she giggled, before going to back to work on pulling John's pants off.

Rodney slid his hand along John's stomach, pushing the shirt up until John raised his arms and Rodney could pull it off. He smoothed his hand over John's chest, fingers catching in the soft hair, until he found a hard little nipple. He paused with one hand spread wide on John's chest to watch Laura's hand curl around John's dick, which was already flushed and hard. She licked her way along the length of it and John groaned, letting his head fell back against the couch. He reached for Rodney, his other hand moving to curve gently around the back of Laura's neck. Rodney leaned back in to lick at John's neck, biting his collarbone. He kissed him again, wet and dirty, John sucking on his tongue while Laura watched them from below.

She pulled her head back and looked up at both of them, her eyes dark and glittering. “Maybe you should take over, Rodney. Remember how I said I wanted to watch?”

“Can I?” Rodney asked, his voice tight. John gave him a slightly glazed nod, taking Rodney's hand and sliding it down to his dick. Laura smiled and scrambled up, perching on the couch next to John while Rodney slid down to his knees. Laura leaned in and kissed John, who immediately started working on the buttons on her shirt. He slid the shirt off her arms and Laura tossed her bra over the couch, gasping when John bent his head to take her breast in his mouth. Rodney had to watch-it was searingly hot to watch Laura shudder, to watch John lick and suck her nipples-and to watch it all from between John's legs.

John pulled his mouth away, and looked down at Rodney, a wicked grin spread across his face. “Weren't you planning to do something down there?”

Rodney rolled his eyes, but he couldn't help a little smile.

He bent his head and closed his mouth over the head, still wet from Laura's mouth. He swirled his tongue along the length of it, making John groan, and he licked back up the other side just to get him to groan again. His eyes flickered up to see John's hand stroking between Laura's legs, the two of them pressed tight together, watching Rodney. It was hot-so much hotter than he'd ever imagined it could be-sucking John's dick down his throat while Laura watched. He licked his lips and swallowed as much of John's dick as he could, his tongue rubbing the underside on every upward stroke.

“Oh god, Rodney, that's, that's-” John gasped, his hips arching up. Rodney laughed around his mouthful, and he gasped again. “If you keep doing that, this is gonna be over real fast.”

Laura stopped sucking on John's neck and sat back. She looked down at Rodney eagerly. “Time to move on to other things, then, right, Rodney?”

Rodney looked up at her. “You really want to do it?”

She gave him a smoldering look. “Absolutely.”

John looked between the two of them. “Uh, what?”

Laura swung her leg over John's, straddling his lap. She kissed him, her tongue flicking out to trace his lower lip as she ground her hips down against him. “I want you both. Inside me.”

John's eyes widened in surprise. “Wha-really?”

She wiggled her hips again, and Rodney swallowed heavily at the sight of John holding his dick, guiding himself inside Laura. She sank down, and Rodney had the perfect view from between John's legs. She bit gently at John's adam's apple. “Don't worry,” she murmured. “We've been practicing.”

John groaned softly and thrust his hips up. “That's just-wow. Wow.” He met Rodney's eyes over Laura's shoulder and Rodney flushed all over at John's look of heavy-lidded lust.

Rodney sat up on his knees, still between John's legs, and kissed the back of Laura's neck, his eyes meeting John's again over Laura's shoulder. He licked a trail down Laura's spine, his tongue flicking out to taste the sweat on the small of her back. He pressed a quick kiss to the very top of the crease of her ass and pushed her gently forward. John's hands moved from her hips, his arms coming around her waist to pull her against his chest. Laura shivered and Rodney was momentarily distracted by the sight of John's tan arms strong against Laura's pale smooth back, by the slick pink of John's tongue in Laura's mouth as he sat buried inside her.

“Rodney. Focus. ” Laura said.

“Mm, bossy,” Rodney hummed and bent forward to nip the smooth pink flesh of her ass.

Laura yelped and Rodney soothed the spot with a kiss, already sliding one hand down between Laura's legs. His tongue flickered out, tickling down her crease until he found the spot that made Laura whimper and clutch tighter on John's shoulders. He moved forward a little, trying to get even closer to where the two of them were joined, but the angle was wrong and-

Then John's hands were there, sliding down Laura's back, palming her cheeks and spreading her apart for Rodney. He licked his way over John's fingers, swirling his tongue along the crease of Laura's ass, down the inch of John's exposed dick. That got loud breathy moans out of both of them, and Rodney gave a smirk that he was probably lucky neither of them could see. He moved back again, and with one hand on top of John's, his tongue darted out and stabbed gently inside Laura. Rodney teased her, his tongue dipping in and out, dragging along the rim and then back inside until Laura was panting and shuddering against John's chest.

“Rodney, please please, do it, get my bag,” she whimpered.

He felt around behind him for Laura's bag and when he finally found it, he groped hurriedly through it until he found the little bottle of lubricant that Laura had insisted she was keeping there “just in case.”

Rodney squeezed some of it out and both John and Laura tried to watch as he slid one slick finger along her crease and dipped inside. Laura bit her lip and bucked back against him, pressing Rodney's finger against the thin wall that separated him from John's dick.

Ohjesus,” John gasped hoarsely, his eyelids fluttering shut. Rodney started moving his hand, stroking both John and Laura from the inside. Rodney added another finger, and John moved his hand too, stroking Laura from the front, until she was twisting and writhing between them. She flung one hand back, grasping at Rodney's arm.

“Rodney, come on,” she panted, but Rodney just smiled and pressed another finger inside her

“Rodney, you're going to kill us both,” John managed, his jaw tight as he tried heroically not to thrust up into Laura, against Rodney's hand.

“Please Rodney, I'm good. Oh god, just come up here,” Laura said, her hand scrabbling against Rodney's shoulder.

“Okay, okay,” he said, squeezing more lube into his hand and slicking up his dick. “John, you're going to have to move your legs a little.” John did as he was told and brought his knees closer together, his fingers digging into Laura's hips as he moved the two of them forward. Laura just whimpered and wound her arms tighter around John's neck. Rodney threw one leg over John's and shifted until he was crouched behind Laura. He had to rest one hand on the back of the couch and his calves were going to kill him the next morning, but then he was finally thrusting inside Laura, into the tight hot heat, and he could feel John rubbing against him.

He wasn't very far inside her, but it was so so good-Laura was shuddering and gasping, and Rodney could feel every one of John's thrusts slide against the head of his dick. Laura tipped her head back against his shoulder, and Rodney mouthed kisses along her temple, her hair, whatever he could reach. Rodney shifted until he was gripping John's shoulder, and he reached for Rodney, curling his hand around Rodney's wrist. They rocked together like that, slick and hot, until Laura gave a loud gasping moan. Her shoulders shook, and her muscles clenched tightly on both of them as she rode out her orgasm. John groaned and the feel of him pulsing against his dick was enough to push Rodney over the edge.

He waited as long as he could, savoring the feel of being inside her and being pressed so tightly against John, until his thigh muscles started screaming at him for making them support his weight for so long. Laura was collapsed against John's chest and Rodney tried to pull out as slowly as he could. She gave a sleepy grumble and batted half-heartedly at him behind her back. She gave John a quick kiss before gingerly pushing herself up and out of his lap. Rodney must have looked concerned, because she gave him a smug smile and slapped him on the ass. He rolled his eyes, but as she walked past him toward the bathroom, he snagged her wrist and pulled her into a sloppy kiss. She pushed away, but she was grinning as she disappeared into the bathroom.

Rodney looked over at John, who hadn't moved since Laura had gotten up. He wondered if he looked as wrecked as John did-he certainly felt it. It took him about two seconds to decide that he didn't have the energy to remake the bed, and sat down in a heap on the mess of covers left by Ronon and Radek. He tugged gently at John's ankle, until John rolled off the couch and onto the pillow beside him.

Rodney tugged a blanket up over both of them, leaving an extra space between them where he knew Laura would want to sleep. When he was finally settled, he looked over at John, who was staring back at him, the tip of his tongue caught firmly between his teeth. Rodney rolled his eyes, and slid his leg in between John's. “Don't start over-thinking it now.”

John snorted and slid closer to Rodney, his hand settling on his hip. “That's rich, coming from you.”

Rodney gave him a wide smile that quickly turned into a yawn. He closed his eyes. “Hm. Well. Think about this. Next time you can be in the middle.”