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Commas and Ampersands

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John wished that he could say something like 'looking back, it was obvious'. It only made him feel a little better that it really hadn't been.

***

John knew he needed to finesse Rodney about the whole Cadman situation, so he decided to wait until late, when he knew that Rodney would be alone in the labs. Rodney claimed he got more work done at night, after everyone had gone to bed, and even though John would never tell him so, he thought Rodney was probably right. There was always someone wanting something from Rodney-shoving tablets at him, asking questions. It meant that anytime Rodney actually wanted some time by himself in the lab, he had to wait until everyone had left. Of course, it also meant that Rodney didn't get enough sleep and basically, it was a cranky vicious circle.

He strolled out of the transporter, trying to come up with a game plan. He had a peanut butter Twix in his right breast pocket, and that was going to be his opening salvo. After that, he was going to segue into his agreement that Haraldson was an idiot and then transition into a little speech about teamwork and how 'we may not like everyone we work with, but doesn't mean that we can kill them'.

John got to the end of the hallway, and was about to turn into the lab, when he heard voices. He stopped, mostly because it was weird-seriously, Rodney started shooing people out the door at midnight and he couldn't imagine who would want to risk the wrath of the late-night Rodney. He stuck his head in and saw Rodney sitting at his favorite table, his back to the door. He didn't see anyone else at first, and he was just about to call out to Rodney, when he heard a low voice.

A female voice. Coming from the floor.

Then Rodney made some kind of sound, a sound that John had never heard him make before, one that made John's stomach do a crazy little flip. Rodney reached forward and John sort of froze in shock as his brain finally caught up. His mouth dropped open and he caught a glimpse of the top of a reddish-blond head before he flung himself around the corner.

He stood there in the dark, back pressed against the wall, and tried to breathe quietly. He knew he should leave, he knew, he knew and he was just about to, when he heard a low breathy moan and the overwhelming desire to know just who was in there with Rodney overrode everything else. He inched toward the door, and leaned forward, keeping the rest of his body hidden by the shadows.

Holy shit. It was Cadman.

And the thing was, they looked good together. Like the really good porn, the kind that made you flush and feel guilty for watching. It wasn't that Rodney looked like a porn star, not by any stretch of the imagination, but he looked solid and strong with his big hands curved over her shoulders. Cadman had her arms around Rodney's neck, her thighs thrown across Rodney's lap and she looked small and delicate, arching against him. Then she threw her head back, exposing the length of her neck and Rodney dipped his head forward to drag his tongue along her throat and John realized that they had definitely done this before.

John felt inexplicably pissed off. He'd had no idea. None. A whole secret part of Rodney's life that John hadn't even suspected. He stared as Rodney's hand disappeared between the press of their bodies, making Cadman whimper and squeeze her eyes shut, her face hidden against Rodney's neck. It was surreal and crazily erotic to watch her fingers flex against Rodney's neck, to see Rodney's hips thrusting up, faster and faster, to hear their harsh panting breaths in the silence of the lab. John pressed his hand against the erection throbbing in his pants and felt guilty that he was still there.

Then Cadman gave another low moan, her fingers scrabbling against Rodney's shoulders and she collapsed, shuddering into Rodney's chest. John watched, transfixed, as Rodney's hands slid down to her ass, holding on as his hips jerked once, twice and then his whole body tensed and John knew Rodney was coming inside her. John bit his lip, his mouth dry, and eased out of the doorway. He hurried down the hall and into the transporter, hitting the control panel with a shaking hand. When the doors opened, he sprinted down the corridor toward his room, his door still sliding shut as he fumbled with his zipper. It only took about two strokes and he came all over his hand, his face hot with shame and guilt, his heart beating wildly in his chest.

***

The problem with having seen what he saw was that he couldn't stop thinking about it. When he passed Cadman in the hall, his brain helpfully supplied him with the image of her pale smooth legs wrapped around Rodney's waist. He got a hard-on when Rodney showed him something on his laptop, his fingers flying across the keys, because all John could think about was Rodney's hand sliding down between Cadman's legs.

He spent a lot of time with his hand wrapped around his dick, trying desperately not to think about the way Rodney's hips looked thrusting up, the way Cadman's back had arched perfectly when she came.

***

He wasn't sure why he felt so weirdly angry with Rodney. It wasn't any of his business who Rodney fucked, after all. And it wasn't like Cadman and Rodney were on a team together, so John couldn't even rationalize it with some made-up concern about team unity. He just felt...irritated. He found himself watching Rodney closer, listening closer, and being pissed as hell that Rodney hadn't even told him.

And if he spent a little extra time watching Cadman too, nobody seemed to notice.

***

“Are you sure you want to put that there?”

“Shut up, McKay. I know what I'm doing! Now, put your finger there. No, there. There!”

“Well, excuse me if your highly detailed explanation didn't-wait. Here?”

“Yeah, there, just-don't move. Stop being such a bitch and hold this.”

“I'd be careful about throwing around words like that, considering-”

“Yeah, yeah, I'm rubber and you're glue and-oh. Yes. That's it, come on, baby, come on-”

“Okay, are you done?”

“Yes! Completely disarmed.” Cadman sat back and smiled up at Rodney and John, and the scientists who had fled the room when the device started beeping and counting down came edging warily back in.

“Nice job, Lieutenant,” John said weakly and Cadman beamed back at him.

“Yes, not bad,” Rodney said, looking faintly surprised.

Cadman rolled her eyes. “Thanks, Rodney.”

“Hey, it's not my fault if you can't take a compliment.”

“No, but it will be your fault when I kick your ass,” Cadman shot back.

Rodney snorted. “I'd like to see you try.” He smirked at her and she smirked back and John went back to his room and jerked off in the shower.

***

He spent an entire sleepless night freaking out. But in the morning, Rodney was still an arrogant, brilliant man and Cadman was still a hot lieutenant and John still couldn't get the images of them wound together out of his mind.

***

John hadn't been trying to find them again, but with the amount of sneaking around after Rodney that he'd been doing lately, it was kind of inevitable. He felt a sick sense of deja-vu, pressed again behind the door, watching the two of them in the lab.

“Have you been-oh, oh, yes-thinking about it?” Cadman panted, her head thrown forward against her arms, where she'd braced herself against the table. “Because, because-oh god-I have.”

Rodney stood up, and wiped his hand across his face. He stood behind her, his hands skimming along the outside of her thighs as he gave her a thoughtful look. “Oh? What have you been thinking about?” he said, pressing against her back and nipping at her ear as he stroked a finger inside her.

“I-I-mmm-I think about the three of us. And I'm-oh god, right there, right there.”

Rodney gave a low chuckle and the sound slid through John and down his spine. “Yes, and?” He did something with his thumb that made Cadman whimper and bite her lip.

“Oh! You're such a jerk, Rodney! I think about me, okay? In the middle of-of both of you.”

John wanted to know who they were talking about more than anything. It made him feel sick and jealous and whole host of other things that he didn't want to examine.

Rodney's hand stilled and Cadman whimpered. “Don't stop! Why did you stop?” She looked over her shoulder at him. “Oh. Do you like that idea?”

“You know I do,” Rodney said harshly and Cadman gave him a sly little smile. She pressed back against him, wiggling her hips until Rodney groaned and fumbled with his belt. His pants and boxers slid to floor and puddled around his ankles, giving John a perfect view of his ass. John's throat went dry as he watched Rodney's hands slide over Cadman's hips, holding on tight as he thrust forward. The two of them moaned a little as Rodney slid inside, and John pressed his own hips a little tighter to the door.

“We could ask him,” Cadman said, her voice breathy and uneven. John blinked. Him? He'd just assumed that they were talking about another woman.

“It'd be so hot. We could go to his room and-”

“Shut up, shut up,” Rodney said and his hips moved faster.

She writhed back against him, her hands clutching the sides of the table. “I've seen him watching you. I-I want to. I want to watch you-ohhh. I'm really close Rodney, touch me, touch me.” John leaned forward a little bit, so he could see Rodney's hand move forward and slip between her legs. “Oh god, I want to watch you blow him.” 

John sucked in a sharp breath. The image of Rodney on his knees, of Cadman moving between Rodney and, and-it was hot in a way John hadn't even imagined.

John watched the muscles in Rodney's ass flex, as he slammed into her from behind. And then Cadman gave a breathy little sigh and Rodney leaned down and kissed her shoulder and for some reason, it was that little touch of intimacy that made John jerk away, knocking his shoulder against the door frame. He backed out into the hallway, feeling ashamed at how turned on he was, how long he'd watched. He turned toward the transporter and then changed his mind, jogging back down the dark corridor to take the stairs. Maybe he could run the shaky feeling out of his legs, and the sharp twist of arousal and confusion out of his belly.

At least. He could try.

***

If John had looked back before he ran up the stairs, he might have seen Rodney's head peer around the door.

And he might not have missed the bright, speculative look on Rodney's face.