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The Perfect Prize

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Peter pulled on a jacket.
Wade’s arms wrapped around his waist. “Very nice,” he commented. “Now, let’s count.” He tapped the jacket. “One.” The shirt. “Two.” The pants. “Three.” The belt. “Four.” He slid to the ground. “Five, six,” he counted the shoes and socks. He stood up again and slid his hands into Peter’s pants. “Seven,” he declared happily as Peter pushed his away with mild annoyance.
“Thanks,” Peter said dryly.
Wade grinned at him. “Anytime Peter.” He blinked innocently. “I just wanted to make sure you had enough clothes.”
“Why did I agree to this again?”
Wade kissed him on the forehead as he groped his ass. “Because you’re sexy and mine and I need to show off to that Alex Hayden.” He whined the name.
Peter snorted. “Your love for me knows no bounds, huh?”
“Exactly!” Wade pulled Peter’s phone out of his pocket to check the time. “We better go baby boy, this is one event where ‘fashionably late’ isn’t going to cut it.”
Peter blew some hair out of his face.


Wade was dancing around the room and lighting candles.
“To set the mood,” he had told them.
Alex was trailing him, blowing out the candles mere seconds after Wade had lit them and grumbling to himself.
Tony rolled his eyes at them, before turning back to Peter. “How did he rope you into this?”
Peter gave a shrug. “I don’t remember.”
Tony snorted.
Outlaw walked up to them and slung an arm around Tony’s waist. “You ready to play?” She gave Peter a devious look. “You want me to count your clothes for you?”
“Wade already did so,” Peter told her, his traitor face heating up.
“Never hurts to double check,” Outlaw purred.
She was leaning in pointedly, giving Peter a good look down her shirt. He was not going to survive this game.
Sandi wandered into the room, stepping over Alex and Wade who were wrestling on the floor with a platter of food in her hands. “Refreshments are served,” she declared, placing the platter on the table.
Wade and Alex pulled themselves apart and stood up, glaring at each other, as the others took their seats.
Wade took the seat to the right of Peter, Alex the left. Tony sat opposite Peter with Outcast on his right and Sandi on his left.
Inez leant in and reached for the pack of cards, while Sandi poured the drinks and handed them round.
“Look at that,” Wade said leaning back in his chair. “Two beautiful women serving us drinks and cards.”
Alex and Tony groaned.
Inez’s eyes flicked up to meet Wade’s as she dealt the cards. “Watch yourself,” she warned. “I’ve always been curious as to how long it takes to cut off a man’s genitalia.” The last word was thick with her Texan accent. “With the edge of a playing card.”
Wade made a show of gulping and reaching for his drink.
Inez began shuffling the cards, one of those elaborate shuffles where the cards flew through the air from hand to hand.
“Show off,” Sandi muttered.
Inez winked at her.
“The hot ones are either gay or taken,” Wade muttered.
Tony gave him a look.
“You have Peter,” Alex said.
Peter frowned at him. Alex seemed angry, tapping his foot against the ground.
“Are we going to play?” Alex asked Inez.
Inez shuffled the cards one more time. “Sure.” She put the cards on the table. “Everyone know what we’re here for?”
“To get naked!” Wade cheered.
Tony waved a hand. “None of us have anything better to do.”
Alex gave him a look. “We’re all secretly pervs,” he corrected.
“Secretly,” Tony repeated, raising an eyebrow at him.
“We’re all wearing seven pieces of clothes?”
“Thereabouts,” Wade shrugged casually.
No one asked.
“Texas Hold’em or Five-Card Draw?”
“Texas!” Wade and Alex said in unison. They glared at each other. “Five-Card!” They corrected. “Texas!” They tried again. They both shot out of their seat.
Peter put a hand on each of their arms on instinct.
Alex flinched out of his grip and sat down. Wade reluctantly followed.
Inez tapped the cards. “Texas it is. And if we run out of clothes?”
“We swap sexual favours,” Wade declared.
Tony snorted again. “No dice.”
Wade fluttered his eyelashes. “I don’t remember you complaining back in Vegas.”
Tony pointedly turned his head to Inez. “Game over.”
Inez nodded and began to deal out the cards. “We betting clothes, or lowest hand strips?”
“Lowest hand,” Wade and Alex chirped.
“Sounds good,” Peter cut in quickly as Sandi said, “Glad we got that sorted.”
Tony and Inez swapped bemused looks.
“Ready?” Inez asked with an evil grin.


Wade was slouching back on his chair, showing off his chiselled chest. He had only lost his shirt so far. Peter had lost his jacket and shoes, Inez her hat. Alex hadn’t lost anything. Sandi and Tony were worse off, Sandi was down to underpants and t-shirt, Tony was only in his boxers. Neither one of them were happy about it.
“Cheaters,” Sandi grumbled as she shucked off her t-shirt.
Wade wolf-whistled.
Alex shot him a look.
This would be a lot more enjoyable if Wade and Alex stopped fighting for a moment.
Not that it wasn’t fun. Inez’s running commentary was much more interesting then Wade’s.
Strip poker with a mutant, an ex-superhero, two mercenaries and a third created from the mind of one of the other mercenaries, was interesting. Weird, but fun.
He was pretty sure he was the only one who wasn’t cheating. He was also fairly sure Wade was cheating for him. Maybe Alex too.
It would explain how he kept getting brilliant hands, and why they kept glaring at each other every step of the way.
He tried to ignore it.


Alex slammed his hand down on the table. “I win,” he declared again.
Wade glared at him. Alex shifted happily.
He was beating Wade.
And why wouldn’t he? He was better than Wade. Smarter, more charming, more attractive. He owned an amusement park. Why would Peter choos-
Aye there’s the rub.
Alex had inherited a lot from Wade Wilson. His sense of humour, his healing factor. His huge, unbelievable, uncontrollable, all-consuming crush on Peter Parker.
Peter Benjamin Parker.
Beautiful, amazing, talented, super-powered Peter Parker.
Peter Parker.
Wade Wilson’s Peter Parker. Wade Wilson’s boyfriend, his lover, his confidante.
It wasn’t fair.
Alex loved Peter more than Wade. Alex was born loving Peter. He was born craving Peter’s touch, his kisses, his smiles.
What did Wade have on that?
But Wade had beaten him to it.
And loyal perfect Peter would never think about cheating on or dumping Wade.
He would never look twice at Alex while Wade was in the picture.
So Alex was stuck in second place behind the disgusting lowlife that was Deadpool.
At least he was still beating Wade.
He stretched carefully, showing off his still-clothed body.
Tasky threw down his cards and stood up. His fingers hooked into his boxers and he sighed.
Alex grinned at him. “Come on Tasky, don’t be shy.”
“Shyness isn’t the problem,” Taskmaster replied cryptically. He sighed again and pulled down the boxers.
Wade leant in while Inez and Sandi cheered.
Peter was looking in his lap and flushing slightly.
Alex wanted nothing more than to wrap an arm around him and whisper something perverted in his ear. Instead he threw his cards at Inez. “Deal,” he told her. Realising he was acting grouchy, he added in a cheerful tone, “we have boobies to see. Real ones,” he shot Inez a look.
“I swear you’re all cheating,” Sandi muttered as she handed back her cards.
Wade gasped and slung an arm over Peter. “You accuse Spider-Man of cheating?”
Peter gave him a look. “No, but I’m pretty sure I don’t need to.”
Tony slumped back in his seat and folded his arms. “Can I leave?”
“You’re our eye candy!” Wade claimed.
Sandi grinned. “He has a point.”
Tasky leant back on the chair and sighed.
Peter shot him a sympathetic smile.
Perfect Peter too good for this world. Cinnamon roll, sinnamon roll.