I woke up to find Tanner still missing. He's been gone for a couple of days. The police have been looking for him, but he is still gone. Lela has been worried sick. Everyone's been worried sick. The bikers and the surfers have been conducting their own search, but no avail.
I'm in my room with some bikers and surfers. The girls stay at Mack's and boys stay at my place. I don't mind because I love all these guys. They are all my friends and I take care of my friends.
I remember what happened a couple of days ago. Tanner and I were walking down the beach when I forgot my phone. I told him to stay there and not to move. And guess what happens? He completely disappears. I still remember the way he smiled at me and told me to hurry back.
This thinking about Tanner has me completely thirsty. I walk downstairs into the kitchen to grab a glass of water. I pull out a bag of chips and sit on the counter thinking about Tanner. It was my fault he's gone. If I had just stayed with him maybe he wouldn't have disappeared. Even if I disappeared with him he wouldn't be alone.
I feel tears swell up in my eyes. It was my fault. It was all my fault. It was all my fault. I start to cry right there in the kitchen counter. I was the one who brought him into this world. If he would have just stayed in Wet Side Story he would be fine. But he's not. He could be all the way in China, or he could be just lost, or he could be...
That's it. That was the last straw. I rush outside. Tears falling from my face. I'm running a mile a minute. I'm running down the beach in my pajamas. I don't care who see's me. I'm freaking out for no reason he could be fine. He could be just surfing on the beach. He could be at the surf shop. Or at the tiki bar. I'm so deep in denial right now it's not even funny.
I stop running and take a look at the stars. It was a beautiful night. Tanner was beautiful. Was beautiful. I used the word was. Am I accepting that he's dead? I go down on my knees and grip my chest. The tears return. I lay down right there on the beach and fall asleep.
I wake up in my bed, Butchy looking up at me. He gives me the most disapproving look he can give at me. Thank god all the other guys are gone. Butchy sits in a chair next to my bed.
"You can't keep doing this to yourself." He says calmly.
"Do what?" I ask.
"Blame yourself for what happened to Tanner. It wasn't your fault." He's wrong. It was all my fault.
"It is my fault he's gone, Butchy. It's all my fault, don't you see? I wish I was there with him. I don't even know what happened to him. I just want to see that he's alright that's all I want..."
I cry again. Butchy gets up from his chair and pulls me into his chest. I feel so safe inside his arms. It feels different. I fall back to sleep.
I wake up to find myself still clinging to Butchy. My head is resting on his chest. It seems he had fallen asleep with me. I listen to his heartbeat. It's slow and low. I find it sorta relaxing. I stay like that for a while until I looked at the clock.
We slept that long? Thank god that the others didn't see us. I try to pull away but Butchy pulls back in, still sleeping. I feel like an overgrown teddy bear. Even though I'm kinda enjoying this we both need to get up.
"Butchy." I shake around a bit so he wakes up.
"Wha-?" He see's the position we are in. He doesn't move just looks at me, blushing fiercely.
"Can you let go of me now?" I say smiling. He does what he's asked and lets go of me. For some reason I feel a longing to go back in his arms. I stand up from the bed and pick out what to wear for today, even though the day is almost over. Butchy's still on the bed, face red.
"Can you not mention this to the others? I kind of have a reputation to keep." He says nervously.
I think for a moment."I don't know what you're talking about." I wink at him.
He smiles at me. It makes my insides go warm. He walks out of the room and I finished getting dressed. I walk downstairs and head out the door. Where to go. Where to go. Where to go. Mack's house! Where else? Tanner liked Mack's house. He said he loved the color of it... Nope. Not going down that road. Don't feel like crying my eyes out today.
I arrive at Mack's house. Everyone is still looking all depressed from what happened to Tanner. Chee Chee and Lela are sitting on the couch watching TV. Amazed at how the graphics look. They have this sad mood around them. I sit down next to them.
"Hi Brady." Lela gives me a sad smile. She knows I've been beating myself up at what happened to Tanner. "You're looking better today."
I give her a confused look. Did I look bad all the other days?
"We saw you sleepin' on the beach, so we got Butchy to pick you up and take you to bed." Chee Chee says filing her nails. She gives me a disapproving look like the one Butchy gave me. Lela grabs my hand.
"We know you're taking this 'Tanner being gone' thing hard on yourself. We all want you to know it wasn't your fault." She cringes when she says his name.
How can they keep saying that when it's clearly true? I was the one who was walking with him. I was the one who needed to get something from the store. And I asked if he wanted to come with.
"We all miss him. Maybe he'll find his way back home." She says hopefully. Little does she know I've already given up hope.
It's 4 in the morning and I'm sitting here listening to the waves. There was a time when I loved this. Just listening to the waves. I've been out here since I left Mack's house. And that was hours ago. I see a crab slowly creep past me. I wish I was a crab. If I was a crab I wouldn't have to worry about anything. I could focus only on myself. If I was a crab I wouldn't have to worry about everyone and especially...Tanner.
Someone sits down next to me.
"Butchy." The muscular teen sits next to me. He's wearing his leather vest and red shirt.
"I thought i'd find you out here." He says. He looks around. "I'm tired of this Brady."
"Tired of what?" I say at him weakly.
"Tired of this pity party you're giving yourself." He looks at me seriously. He grabs my hand.
"I'm not giving myself-"
"Yes you are! Everyone has been seeing it. You blame yourself for what happened and no one else! You're hurting other people for the way you're actin'." OK he's really hurting my hand really hard now. "I don't know if it's different in 20...20... what ever year we're in but..." He doesn't say anything else. I'm still confused and he is still hurting my hand. He softens his grip but doesn't let go. "I care about you too much to watch myself slowly lose you..."
Slowly lose me? What is he talking about? I'm not going anywhere. He has nothing to worry about. Wait, does he... does he think I'm gonna kill myself? This all makes sense now. Everyone has been comforting me and acting different around me. They all tell me its not my fault. Do they really think I'm that weak to kill myself? Wait, wait, wait, wait. Did Butchy just say he cares a lot for me. What exactly does he mean by that?
I look up at him. He doesn't dare look at me. I have no clue what to do. We're still holding hands. I hear him say, "Screw it." He grabs me by the chin with his other hand. His face is slowly leaning into mine. I can feel his breath on my lips. I meet him halfway and kiss him.
It's a chaste kiss. No tongue or anything. Not in a million years would I expected Butchy of all people to kiss me. If I could pick out the straightest person of all the characters of Wet Side Story, it would be Butchy. But here he is kissing a guy like me.
He smells nice. He smells like rubber and gaso-
Iine. He wraps his arms around me. I hug him by his neck. Our lips don't move apart from each other. We split for 3 seconds to breath until we come together again. His tongue slowly comes in my mouth as if asking for permission. I open my mouth slowly letting his tongue explore. He pulls me onto his lap and I feel him getting hard.
That's when I remember we are still on the beach.
I pull apart from him and look him in the eyes. Even though I'm super turned on right now I need to talk to him about this. About them thinking I'm gonna kill myself or disappear. I'm here to stay and take care of all of them. He is still hugging me by my waist and I lay my hands by his arms.
"I need you to know that I'm not going anywhere. I'm not gonna abandon you or the others in any way. And I'm gonna try and not blame myself anymore. I...I...I care about you a lot too." I say. I can feel my entire face heat up.
I see his ears go red. He is so cute when he's embarrassed. So we are both idiots blushing on the beach in the middle of the night. The only lighting we have to see each other is the moonlight.
He picks me up bridal style and carries me all the way to his bike. My back is against the handles so I'm facing him. He sits normally and starts to bite my neck. He bites hard and I scream in pleasure and pain. He starts to lick my collar bone. While licking he takes off both of our shirts. The metal of the bike is cold but I am to busy to notice that. He licks my left nipple. And then bites down on it. I give him a wanton moan. I never in all of my life new those were so sensitive. I know now why girls like it. He then goes for the right one. He bites down with an equal amount of force. I moan even louder. He takes off both of our pants and throws them to the ground. He spits on his hand and grabs both of our cocks and rubs them together.
" You like it when I rub our cocks together?" He says huskily.
He keeps rubbing them, at this rate I'm gonna cum soon. It just feels so good. This could get addicting. Me getting addicted to Butchy.
"B-Butchy, I-I'm gonna cum!"
And I felt a heat wave come through my whole body. My juices shoot out on our chests. Seconds later, I feel Butchy come too. We sit there panting for a little while until, I kiss him again.
"That was amazing." I say smiling at him.
"I know it was because it was with me." He says cocky.
We then put on our clothes, and ride back to my house. I put my arms around his stomach and rest my head on his chin. Everything was going to be alright. I look up at the stars and smile.