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Terrible things

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By the time I was eighteen, I would give anything. To fall in love truly, was all I could think...That's when I met Phil Lester, the boy of my dreams. The most beautiful man, that I'd ever seen...

While we were on the Manchester eye he said to me "Dan can I tell you a wonderful thing? I can't help but notice, you're staring at me. I know I shouldn't say this, but I really believe, I can tell by your eyes that you're in love with me."

"Am I really that obvious?"

Phil laughed slightly "A bit, yeah"

Now, guys, I'm only telling you this, because life can do terrible things.



Now, most of the time we'd have too much to drink and we'd laugh at the stars and we'd share everything

"Phil! Are you eating my cereal again?"

"No..." Phil replied cautiously, his mouth full of dry cereal, before quickly swallowing and turning around to face Dan, who was standing in the doorway of the kitchen.

"You idiot" Dan laughed "come here"

Too young to notice,

"Ouch" Phil murmured

Dan flicked the light back off, turning their bedroom back to being the pitch black cave that it was before he walked in "Oh sorry, I thought you were in the office..." He said as he walked over to sit on the bed beside Phil, placing a comforting hand on his shoulder "Do you still have your headache?"


and too dumb to care

"Yeah, it feels like someones having a rave inside my mind" Phil said sleepily as he turned to face Dan

"I'll join you then" Dan said as he kicked off his shoes and got under the covers of the bed, before draping an arm protectively over Phil's waist.

"I thought you were going to watch that Kanye thing?"

"I don't care about that at the moment..." Dan said as Phil moved closer into him


Love was a story that couldn't compare.



A few weeks later, after having cleaned up from dinner, we were back in the dimly lit lounge, with the cities lights streaming through the window. As Phil was about to sit down on the couch to get ready to watch 'Howl's moving castle', I stopped him by gently taking hold of his arm as I stood in front of him. He looked at me confused, before I let go of his arm and said, "Phil, can I tell you a wonderful thing? I got you this present from down London's streets. Open with care now, I'm asking you, please. You know that I love you, will you marry me?"

Phil stood in front of the couch, both hands over his mouth, his eyes squeezed shut as he nodded his head frantically.

Dan laughed nervously "Should I take that as a yes then?"

"Yes Dan! Oh my god yes!" Phil spoke quietly (that's all his body was able to let him do at the moment out of shock), but insistently, pulling Dan into a tight hug.

Both boys practically grinning from ear to ear, as Dan pulled away from the hug to place the silver band around Phil's finger. 


Now, guys, I'm only telling you this, because life can do terrible things.

You'll learn, one day, I'll hope and I'll pray, that God shows you differently.



Dan was sat on the couch nervously tapping his fingers against his thigh, not able to focus on the television. Phil was late coming back from his doctors appointment about his constant headaches...

As soon as he heard foot steps coming up the stairs towards the lounge, Dan stood up and flicked off the TV, turning to face the entry to the lounge as he heard the door open. He had a very bad feeling in his gut.

Phil walked in and shakily took Dans hands, before daring to make eye contact with him, Phil could already feel hot tears slowly running down his cheeks.


He said, "Dan can I tell you a terrible thing? It seems that I'm sick and I've only got weeks. Please, don't be sad now, I really believe...
You were the greatest thing that ever happened to me."

Dan kept shaking his head, his eyes squeezed shut as tears fell out of both of the boys eyes. "No..." He said softly, his voice breaking in the process. Still shaking his head, he looked down towards the ground before getting the strength to look Phil in the eyes "You're tricking me, they're just headaches, you're fine!" He said louder this time.

Phil chocked briefly on his tears, holding onto the younger boys hands tighter. "I'm so sorry Dan, I wish I was joking..."

Dan squeezed his eyes shut again and continued shaking his head

"...The doctors say that I have a brain tum-"

The dark haired man tried to finish, but got cut off when Dan practically ripped his hands from his and screamed as he stepped back "Then they're wrong! Check again!" he started pulling at his hair as he stared teary eyed at Phil.



Slow, so slow I fell to the ground on my knees.

"No! NO! THEY'RE WRONG!" Dan shouted trying not to choke on his tears, as he fell to the floor on his knees, covering his face with his hands as he sobbed.

Phil quickly went over to him and sat down cross legged next to Dan, pulling him into his chest as they both fell apart. "It's okay Dan, it's okay" he said as he rested his nose into Dans hair.

"How is this okay, Phil! WHAT PART OF THIS IS OKAY!" Dan shouted, before crying harder while he felt hot tears falling into his hair.

Phil squeezed his arms tighter around the younger boy.

"It's not fair..." He heard Dan sob into his chest.

"I know" Phil whispered into Dans brown hair, before gently kissing his forehead "...I know..."

So don't fall in love, there's just too much to lose
If you're given the choice, then I beg you to choose
To walk away, walk away, don't let him get you.
I can't bear to see the same happen to you.

Now, guys, I'm only telling you this because life, can do terrible things...