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Shichi's Tales of Sex and Doom (and Fluff and Randomness)

Chapter Text

"It's foolproof, trust me," the man said. "What could possibly go wrong?"

Shippo and Kagome, hiding behind crates to watch the scene, exchanged an incredulous look. It was as if the guy knew he was going to fail, so he had decided to use all the stock phrases while he still had a chance. He'd gone through have I ever let you down, stopped by I'm an expert, let me handle it and patted nothing exciting ever happens here on its head. Kagome tried to figure out which ones he'd missed. "Nothing can stop us now," Shippo mouthed sarcastically. She nodded. Yep, that was one of the few the man hadn't hit.

Shippo took out the bag of green minced eggshells that looked like flakes of the paint the old building had been covered in at some point during its youth. She had to give it to him: he had an eye for colour and detail. They were basically undistinguishable from all the other flakes around the floor. But his, of course, were dipped in his newly discovered special... perfume... and made his way up the crates with the agility that only a demon could muster. Kagome waited for a few seconds, then made her way out secretly, while the man babbled on. She took the dog whistle out of her pocket, blew it hard a few times and heard the barking. Then she ran and hid.

The police with their three dogs, who had been looking for drug dealers alerted by an old woman who had never existed except as a disguise for a certain fox demon, came nearly running in her direction. They entered the building with racket and force, interrupting the man during his nth stock phrase.

Shippo snuck up to her as a fox, then turned back into a human.

"I'm glad we took this one on," he said gleefully.


They scattered off quietly and swiftly. Kagome didn't know how he'd managed to put the smell of cocaine on those eggshells, but she didn't really care right now. He grabbed her hand and they snuck to more populated areas acting like a pair of mischievous kids because there was nobody to see them and realize that they really were troublemakers.

"Cheater," Kagome said at last, as they entered a cafe.

"Is that why you were so eager to get the job?"

"How could he, Shippo? He had a wife and kids. You don't just start renovating crappy houses-turned-warehouses to make a, a, a... sex club with your friends."


"Shut it." They sat at a table and she grabbed a menu. "Well, at least we gave him what was coming to him."

"Smart woman, his wife. This'll bring him home on his knees."

"And she'll play the innocent card. I'd just dump him."

"Maybe he has qualities?..." Shippo suggested. "Some men just stray from the ties of marriage, because..."


"Point made."

They ordered two coffees. Kagome glared at her own for awhile before remembering that you were supposed to drink it. She took a sip, then looked up to see Shippo smiling charmingly at her.

"What?" she asked.

"I like you when you're angry."

She wrinkled her nose at him and smiled back, suddenly not so upset anymore.