Chapter 1: "All the good ones are gay"
“Hey, Lisa? Can I come in? They won’t allow me into the common room again.”
The Ravenclaw common room’s door peaked open to reveal the small face of Lisa Turpin. As soon as she saw Millicent, her face broke out in a grin.
“Of course!” she whispered, gesturing inside the dark room.
It was well past midnight and most of the students were sleeping. But obviously Milllicent had come from somewhere…
“Another party?” Lisa asked, sitting down next to the crackling fire. “You know you need to calm down a bit. McGonagall is getting up in everyone’s face, not just the Gryffindors. She says that we need to focus more on our studies so once we get out of Hogwarts we can start up a life.”
“Not as a Slytherin, I won’t. People judge me so fast, it doesn’t matter if I ace all my OWLS. People will assume I cheated. No matter what I do, everyone will always associate me with villainy. It doesn’t matter if I cure the Muggle illness of cancer! I will always be attached to the wrongs my house has committed. I am expected by Death Eaters to join their ranks and fight all my friends, yet the other houses bully me into becoming a Death Eater as well. They scold me for something my house has done, not anything I have personally done, but then they don’t give me an out. And people wonder why so many Slytherins join Voldemort? That’s the only thing we’re expected to do, so that’s where we end up. We don’t belong anywhere in Hogwarts, and at least next to Voldemort we’re given an opportunity. A fighting chance.”
By now, Millicent was fighting back tears. It wasn’t as if she had helped her reputation by trying to befriend the popular Draco Malfoy in first year. But that was before she had known how he treated everyone. That was before she had known his true nature. How he treated anyone who wasn’t a pureblood. Anyone who wasn’t like him. But that didn’t mean that Millicent deserved to be treated the way she was by others.
“Oh, Millie,” Lisa said, leaning forward to embrace her friend, “people don’t think you’re a monster. You belong with all of us. With your friends. Some of the students think Slytherins are nothing but evil, but as soon as they meet you they change. People always change. Nobody who knows you could think for a second that all Slytherins are terrible people.”
Millicent sobbed into Lisa’s shoulder, her moans muffled by Lisa’s hug. They stayed together for a few minutes, Lisa rocking Millicent’s body along with hers. After Millicent finally ran out of tears, she looked up at Lisa’s face.
“Now tell me why you can’t get into the common room.”
Millicent’s face immediately contorted in anger.
“They made the password something cruel again,” Millicent spat. “I couldn’t bear to say it.”
“That’s why you’re not like your house,” Lisa muttered.
“And do you know what they changed it to?” Millicent demanded, “Do you?”
“What was it?”
Millicent paused, then whispered, “’Entwhistle's a mudblood.’”
Lisa looked down and sighed.
“That poor kid. Why do they always target him?”
“I don’t know!” Millicent said, “but the last time they didn’t let me in, it was because the password was ‘Entwhistle’s a…’”
Millicent couldn’t say it
Lisa spent a full three minutes trying to coax it out of her before Millicent blurted out, “’Entwhistle’s a faggot.’”
Lisa just looked at Millicent as her face went white. Calling someone a mudblood was one thing. It was rude and vile but old fashioned. The saying had worn off after their third year, and now it was only used by those who refused to let go of the past. But this new word had only been recently made. Like “mudblood,” muggles were not aware of its usage, but this word was more likely to eventually be used by muggles because it applied to something they faced as well.
Calling someone a faggot was a cruel way of saying that they were gay. It was almost as blatant and terrible as saying ‘Entwhistle likes it up the ass and down the throat.’ It was that bad.
“Oh Merlin,” Lisa said, more to herself than to Millicent, “has he heard about this yet? I know he was mortified when the rumors started. I hope he understands that the majority of us are accepting. We will always love him.”
“This is why everyone hates Slytherins,” Millicent groans, “those bastards make it so difficult for the rest of us.”
“Poor Kevin,” Lisa said again, feeling the utmost sympathies for her friend, “he doesn’t deserve this.”
“And do you know who came up with the password?” Millicent asked, anger lapping at her tongue.
Lisa could only laugh while Millicent glared at her.
“I’m sorry,” Lisa said between chuckles, “but doesn’t everyone know how damn gay Blaise is?”
“Are you serious?” Lisa asked in astonishment. “But I see him snogging random boys in corners constantly! I would have thought that he would have been seen already. I actually was quite proud of him because everyone knows how homophobic that Malfoy kid is.”
“He keeps it pretty hushed up. From what I’ve heard, any boy he snogs gets sent back where he came from- usually the closet-“
“-and nobody says anything about it. Usually he’s pretty secretive. I’m surprised you’ve seen him. Plus he’s dating that God-awful Gryffindor, Sally Anne-Perks, who’s tight with Malfoy- I have a hunch that they’re hooking up- so she keeps the rumors down. Blaise helps Malfoy in turn, though, because it's supposedly against his moral code to be associated with Gryffindors. Blaise, though he’s an arrogant ass, is smart. You’ve got to give him that.”
“So you think the password was made up as a cover for Blaise?” Lisa asked.
“That’s what I’d assume,” Millicent replied.
“It makes me sad that he’d drop that low. Like at least be proud of yourself if you’re going to go around basically broadcasting to the world that you’re gay. If you’re going to do that, at least own up to it.”
Millicent nodded just as the bell chimed one o’clock.
“Oh, I should probably head back,” Millicent said as a yawn overtook her.
“It’s not like they’re going to let you in,” Lisa reasoned, “just stay here tonight and we’ll sneak you to the Great Hall for breakfast tomorrow morning. Nobody will have noticed anything off. Plus the girls in my room are used to you so they’ll keep it a secret.”
Millicent smiled, thankful for the gesture.
“You know, I find it a shame that people don’t believe that students from different houses can be friends. It’s all ‘Gryffindors with Gryffindors’ and ‘Slytherins with Slytherins.’ Or if anything, Gryffindors can be friends with anyone while Slytherins can be friends with no one. It pisses me off.”
“Hey, well at least we are constantly proving the world wrong,” Lisa offered softly.
Millicent returned her smile, and together they walked upstairs to Lisa’s room. The mixed groans of, “Scoot over, make room for Millie,” and “Dear Merlin, Bulstrode, why did you have to come in now?” were heard throughout the room as the other girls moved to give Millicent room to sleep.
“What was the password this time?”
“Something about poor Kevin again,” Lisa answered, and the whispers of, “Oh, Entwhistle,” and, “All the good ones are gay,” were heard as the girls sighed in resentment at the loss of a potential suitor.
All the girls finally settled down and slept except for Luna Lovegood, who perched on her bed, her silver hair shining in the moonlight coming in through the window. She was wearing spectrespecs and commenting quietly to herself about all the nargles the others possessed, and how she would need to make them all butterbeer cork necklaces to rid them of their vermin.
Chapter 2: ...and when a piece of shit is gay he'll find a good one to change him
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Inside the Hufflepuff common room, a raging party had just reached its fifth hour. It was currently just past one o’clock, but nobody seemed to want to let up any time soon. An enchanted tube attached to the ceiling erupted beer as students took their turns at the bottom to try and chug it all. People ran from the tube, tripping and laughing as their stained shirts were turned new by the simple wave of a wand. The Hufflepuff Kevin Entwhistle was the student currently at the opening, guzzling down the cold alcohol. He had a surprisingly high tolerance for it and was doing the best out of anyone who had tried. Suddenly, he was pushed out of the way by a very drunk Blaise Zabini, causing beer to spill out all over the two of them. Kevin, very upset that his skills were being wasted, decided to take a swing at Blaise. Unfortunately, since both of them were drunk beyond reason, the fist fight turned into a sort of wrestling match with them both on the floor between each other’s legs.
Hannah Abbott, a close friend of Kevin's, skillfully got in the way of the spectator’s views as the two boys begun to take on a different approach to wrestling, one that included them trying to undress each other while they rutted helplessly against the other’s legs. Once she got them both up and out of the commotion, she sat them down on two chairs and continually threw cold water in their faces until they had somewhat resurfaced from their drunken haze. She then instructed them both to take the pills she was giving them and to not shag each other. She locked the door and left.
Once Kevin had taken the pill Hannah had given him, he began to regain his moral compass. He was, obviously, extremely embarrassed. It was not until Morag had thought to actually look at who he had tried to beat up and hump at the same time that he realized it was none other than Blaise Zabini, the bastard who had made the Slytherin passcode about him twice.
“Oi, mate!” Kevin slurred, the pill not have taken full effect yet, “What’s your deal? Why do you have such an issue with me?”
Blaise merely shot Kevin what he thought to be a seductive look, but what was actually taken as a glare of sorts, as Blaise had not yet taken the pill at all.
“Hey, I asked you a question!”
“Shhhhhhh!” Blaise whispered, “The-the pixies are sleeping. Shhhhhhhh!”
“Stop talking about damn pixies and answer my question!”
“B-but if you-“ Blaise started, pointing at Kevin with a shaky finger before collapsing in his chair, never completing his thought.
Kevin then looked down at the table to see the untouched pill and shook his head. He grabbed it and shoved it down Blaise’s throat- much to his discontent- and made sure he swallowed.
“Now I’ll give you five minutes to answer my question or else I’ll kill you.”
Obviously, Kevin had no intention of actually killing the man, but, when drunk, unreasonable threats take a much greater toll than when sober. As predicted, Blaise’s eyes widened greatly and he began to ramble about the pixies going to take his books. He eventually passed out, only to return to consciousness ten minutes later. Kevin hovered over him, and a now sober Blaise's immediate reaction was to grab his wand. He could not find his wand, however, and after a small amount of struggling, he agreed to hear Kevin out.
“Why do you have a problem with me?” Kevin demanded.
“What are you talking about?” Blaise asked with a sneer that Kevin couldn’t help but find incredibly sexy.
His hate and distaste for the Slytherin soon took over, however, and he was left with nothing but a cold heart.
“You made both of the Slytherin passcodes something about me, and they weren’t kind things either. I don’t appreciate your lack of subtlety, and if someone has a problem with me, I’d prefer for them to say it to my face. Not hide behind words like a coward.”
Kevin spat the last word out, something that Blaise wasn’t expecting from a Hufflepuff.
“So what if I made those passcodes?” Blaise challenged. “It’s not like you can do anything about them.”
Kevin looked straight at Blaise with a devilish grin that Blaise couldn’t help but find incredibly sexy.
“I can tell the entire school that you’re a raging homosexual.”
“Ha! Me the raging homosexual? If anyone, you are the raging homosexual, not me. And what makes you think they’d believe you?”
“Well, for one, I have many witnesses here tonight that saw you trying to hump poor little me. Granted, I returned your actions, but everyone in the school already knows I’m gay. You, not so much. Also, I’ve seen you snogging countless blokes across Hogwarts, and I’m sure I’m not the only one. I have friends that could help me.”
Blaise was attempting to keep his cool, but his heart was pounding. If Malfoy found out he was gay, he’d become a Slytherin outcast. Malfoy’s gang was the only place he belonged, and if he was charged out of there, he’d have absolutely no social life whatsoever.
“Okay, fine,” Blaise said, defeated. “I’m sorry I made those… those cruel passcodes about you. Yes I was trying to cover up for the fact that I myself am gay, and I thought making fun of another gay person would decrease my chances of people finding out about me. I shouldn’t have done that, and it was stupid for me to think that nobody would notice the fact that I am really very gay. But for the record, I’m not a raging homosexual.”
Kevin laughed at the last comment, and Blaise laughed with him uncertainly. But then it ceased, and they were left in silence. The two boys sat in an awkward silence for a while, refusing to look at each other. The loud noises of the party were heard from the other room.
“You know how everyone expects us to be just stupid and emotionless?” Kevin asked randomly, and Blaise started.
He had not expected Kevin to say anything. He was expecting to just wait until Hannah unlocked the door.
“What, you mean Hufflepuffs?”
“I- well I guess so.”
“I nearly failed my last test.”
Blaise laughed, though he didn’t understand how that related to what Kevin had just said. Or why Kevin was telling him this.
“You worry too much. I’ve almost failed so many tests and I’m still fine.”
Blaise also didn’t understand why he felt like he needed to comfort this Hufflepuff he didn’t even know.
“Sometimes I want to kill myself.”
The smile immediately was wiped from Blaise’s face.
“Whoa, Kevin. Hey, Entwhistle! Look at me.”
Kevin did not look up. He only continued to stare at the wall. His eyes had a glazed look on them.
“Fine, don’t look,” Blaise said hurriedly, “but I hope you know how smart and clever and handsome and talented and amazing you are. I know it sounds like a cliché but you really are a good person. I don’t really know you- hell, I don’t know you at all- but from what I’ve heard, you’re a great guy. And you’re really hot and I know you’re a good flier even though you’re not on the quidditch team. And I don’t know about you, but that seems more important than the grades you’re getting in charms. You sound like you need to give yourself a break. Go to Hogsmeade, have some butterbeer, talk to Madame Rosmerta. She’s an amazing therapist from what I’ve heard. Just- Kevin please look at me.”
This time, the desperation in Blaise’s voice caused Kevin to look up. He hadn’t expected this from a Slytherin who had, only half an hour before, tried to beat him up. When their eyes met, both men could tell the other was getting emotional.
“Come on, Entwhistle, can’t you see how special you are? I don’t care if you’re a Hufflepuff, you are as brave as a Gryffindor and as stubborn as a Slytherin and as brilliant as a Ravenclaw. You know you were really close to getting a hatstall? Four and a half minutes. That’s nearly a record. The last one that got something that close was Hermione Granger. You know, the Boy-who-Lived’s side-kick? The genius?”
Kevin let a smile graze his face, not bothering to ask why Blaise knew or remembered that. This was the first time they had talked- ever.
“You are an exceptional wizard, and I hope you know that, because if you don’t, I’m just going to have to keep praising you until you see it.”
Kevin kept looking at Blaise as his smile got wider and wider.
“You’re not saying anything, so I assume that’s a sign for me to keep on going. Well, you’re-“
Blaise was cut off by a firm pair of lips pressing themselves against his. He felt a jolt of surprise, but soon everything else was cast aside as all he felt was the warmth of those increasingly soft lips as the two became familiar with each other. He wrapped his large hands around Kevin's neck to hold him closer as the kiss gained more depth. Kevin nearly threw himself on Blaise and wrapped his legs around his waist as they both clattered to the floor, the chair not having enough support to hold them both. They lay like that for what seemed like too short of a time before Kevin broke away, smiling against Blaise’s lips. And Blaise believed that, no matter how corny it sounded, he must be in heaven, for it seemed like some sort of blessing to be able to feel someone smile with his eyes closed.
“And I’m the raging homosexual?” Kevin demanded against Blaise’s lips.
Blaise leaned back just enough so he could stare into Kevin's eyes.
“Yes you are. I’m a raging bisexual.”
If you're looking for smut, just pretend that something happens at the end of this chapter... use your imagination.
Gary Thomas and Susan Bones ran out of the Great Hall giggling, Gary often treading on Susan’s trailing dress. They had just finished partying to the Weird Sisters, and the Yule Ball was coming to a close. The two had escaped into the courtyard in order to avoid the crowds that would be coming out soon. They sat down on one of the benches and let the cool air wash over them. It was quite refreshing.
“I wish they held the Triwizard Tournament every time here,” Susan commented, out of breath from running in heels, “it’s so much fun to have all the schools visiting.”
“Plus we get excellent food and service more often,” Gary added, silently deciding to never eat again due to the fact that he had absolutely gorged himself on chocolate and butterbeer delivered specifically for today.
A couple of Durmstrang boys ran out clutching their dates, one a Beauxbaton girl and one a Hogwarts student, both chatting mindlessly with each other. The masses were slowly coming out of the party, everyone exhausted and flushed. A few couples stayed in the Great Hall to finish a couple slow dances, but for the most part everyone was making their way to their dorms or to other’s dorms, either to spend the night or to find what other parties were taking place.
Gary waved to one of the boys that he had befriended in the past couple months and then turned back to Susan. He smiled at her for a moment before placing a kiss on her forehead. Gary, being six-foot one-inch, had a torso much higher than Susan’s, who was only five-foot three-inches. He could easily reach the top of her amber head.
“Do you know what I just realized?” Gary said suddenly, his eyes widening, “We have been together for almost a year now!”
Susan laughed, nodding.
“Yeah, I guess it has,” she replied. “Wow, the first year has really flown by.”
Gary agreed, and the two settled in silence again. Someone from across the court yard yelled at Gary, telling him that there was going to be a party starting up in the Gryffindor common room, so if he wanted to have easy access to his room up in the tower, he should get going and beat the crowd. Susan looked at him expectantly.
After a moment she asked, “Aren’t you going to go?”
Gary shook his head.
“I’m fine staying here for the time being. Anyways, if it gets really bad, Terry said I could stay with him for the night. The Ravenclaw tower is usually pretty mellow.”
“You could stay with me if you wanted.”
The statement settled in the air. Neither of them had taken the step towards more intimacy than kissing and snuggling and holding hands. The comment implied that they may, if possible, shoot for something beyond that.
The couple had been pretty mild, following all the school’s rules about relationships and sleeping arrangements. Susan’s reply had been bold.
“Or not,” she added hurriedly, “sorry, what was I thinking?”
She turned away from Gary, redness creeping up into her cheeks. She jumped when Gary put his hand on her shoulder.
“Hey, I’d love to stay with you,” he murmured, and Susan looked back at him, smiling. “I know we haven’t taken that step yet, but hey! We’ve already been together for almost a year. Maybe it’s time we move on to uncharted territory.”
Susan nodded enthusiastically.
“We’ll have to see if we can sneak you into my common room, though usually there’s some crazy party.”
“It sounds like it’s Gryffindor’s turn tonight, though,” Gary pointed out.
“I guess so.”
They waited for more of the crowd to pass, and Gary stuck his arm around Susan, pulling her close. They stayed that way, enveloped in one another for a few minutes, waiting for the last stragglers to leave. Then they made their way to the Hufflepuff basement, noting that a lot of failed enterers were doused in vinegar, as was the punishment if one tapped the wrong barrels. Susan, being fully sober, got the correct rhythm, and she and Gary crept into the common room. Professor Sprout’s specimens hung from the walls, creating a very soothing smell. Gary felt right at home, though he had never been in the room.
Everything was quiet, the rest of the students either in the Gryffindor tower or with their friends elsewhere. No party was being held in the basement tonight. Susan instructed Gary to sit in one of the chairs as she went to check the girl’s dormitories. There was only one girl there, Hannah Abbott, but she agreed to vacate the premise and give them the space. She had been friends with Susan and Gary for quite some time. Actually, Hannah was a very friendly person, befriending almost everyone in the house along with their friends and acquaintances. She smiled at Gary as the couple made their way upstairs, and took his spot on the chair, promising to warn any girl that entered the common room. The two closed the door behind them and simply stood, staring at each other.
“How do… how do we do this?” Susan asked quietly.
“I have absolutely no idea,” Gary replied, “I guess we start with taking our clothes off?”
Susan nodded and took off her shimmering dress, leaving her in a tan push-up bra and matching panties, having had a thin dress that would have picked up any vibrant colors underneath. The outfit was nothing especially sexy, and Susan was feeling very flustered. She had never been happy with her body, thinking of herself as fat. Gary, when he saw her nearly fully exposed, thought she was the most beautiful thing he had ever laid eyes on. Gary then took off his dress robes, leaving a black pair of boxer briefs. He had always been uncomfortable with his body because he wasn’t as ripped or muscular as the other boys. Susan, however, thought that he was the perfect body-type: somewhat thin but still having enough body mass and muscle to win a fight if he needed to.
The two stood looking at each other. Gary suddenly realized the comical quality of the situation and began to laugh. Susan, embarrassed and uncomfortable, found it soothing to laugh as well. The two’s laughter increased until they were doubled over, crying from laughter. Susan immediately straightened up, laughter ceasing, as she realized that when she doubled over, her stomach rolls were exposed. Gary stopped laughing as well, but soon recognized the issue as Susan had her arms crossed so as to hide her belly.
“Susan, I never imagined that we would get this far in our relationship. But I’m really glad you suggested it, because you put Aphrodite to shame. You have the most beautiful body I’ve ever seen. I swear to Merlin, not even a veela could beat you. You are…”
Gary could not think of any other way to describe this woman whom he had grown to love and adore. Susan, on the other hand, could find many words to describe Gary.
“And you- oh my Merlin- you are absolutely gorgeous. I’m sorry if that doesn’t sound manly or help your ego, but that’s the only way I can describe it. You are so handsome and I can see the muscles in your arms and belly. I didn't realize you had that much..."
The two of them stood, now beaming. Then Gary ran to Susan and hugged her.
“If you’re not ready to take the next step in this, the touching step, that’s fine,” he said into her neck, and she nodded.
“I don’t think I am, but this is enough for me.”
The two curled up in Susan’s bed, holding each other and placing light kisses on each other’s faces. They fell asleep in each other’s arms.
Unfortunately, Hannah, being the amazing friend she is, prevented any of the girls from getting to that dorm, so they all slept on the couches in the common room. It was like a massive slumber party, except everyone was cranky, and when Susan and Gary came out of the room the next morning and the girls found out that they hadn’t even shagged, they all decided that the next time the two decided to snuggle all night, they would keep them on the floor somewhere because the ground was made of hardwood, and maybe that would get Gary’s mind going in the right direction.
Did you get that last pun (look at the title)?