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and there's always time to change your mind

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from the second that I was born it seems I had a loaded gun


Tyler’s summer back home after his first season with the Stars is pretty baller, if he says so himself. It’s filled with parties and hangouts and charity events and the most brutal training possible (the best kind of training, let’s be real here). Back in Dallas, he’s even set himself up in fucking Mike Modano’s mansion, his new home for hopefully years and years to come. Yeah, things are looking pretty swell.

The only hitch, if you can call it that, is the amount of time Tyler ends up spending away from Jamie. They’ve basically cemented themselves as the faces of the franchise, and even Tyler was surprised at how great their chemistry became in such a short time. On the ice, they make magic happen, and the team feeds off of their energy.

Off the ice, well, Jamie’s become something kind of like Tyler’s new best bro. It’s like what Tyler had with Marchy back in Boston, only Tyler’s never missed a teammate during the offseason before.

So when Jamie calls him up and asks if Tyler would be down to help him rally the team to all come back to Dallas early to get a head start before camp, Tyler pretty much jumps at the opportunity.

Okay, maybe you really can call Jamie’s absence a snag in Tyler’s summertime fun.

But that was then, and this is now. Now, Tyler’s back in Dallas with his best bro, and things are pretty fantastic. They’re doing more charity work together, and on top of that, they team up with Dude Perfect for two days of beauty trick shot moves. It’s pretty sick, what he and Jamie are able to pull off. Tyler literally cannot get over how Jamie scores with a fucking miniature pumpkin, faking stick side and then using his glove to pass the puck across to his stick, tapping it in while sliding on his freaking belly. How did he even come up with that? Tyler has got to try it out sometime.

The best part of it all, though, is how honest-to-god happy Jamie seems. He’s always been reserved and humble after achievements at the rink, but here, Jamie’s actually celebrating. Tyler finds himself getting more excited for Jamie’s successful tricks than his own, encouraging Jamie to laugh and grin even wider.

Jamie’s laugh is fucking precious, is what it is. He tries to contain it, to keep a straight face, but then something just snaps and it explodes out of him. Tyler’s always loved trying to make Jamie laugh, but after three months of not hearing it (Skype totally doesn’t count), Tyler wants to absorb as much of Jamie’s laughter as possible. Kind of like making up for lost time, or something.

Jamie’s in such a good mood that it’s easy to convince him to accept the invitation from the guys to hang out at a house party that night. Tyler knows by now that Jamie actually does like parties; he’s just uncomfortable around so many strangers at once. (Tyler’s master plan is to gradually stomp that out. It’s a work in progress, but he has no doubt they’ll get there. Watching Jamie slowly become more social is doing wonders to Tyler’s ego.)

The party is crowded, with fun people and good music and so, so much alcohol. Tyler all but throws drinks in Jamie’s face, determined to get him drunk. Let it be known that when Tyler Seguin wants something, he will do everything in his power to get it, and tonight, he wants to see Jamie let go and get smashed.

It’s…surprisingly easy. Jamie’s guard is down already, and he willingly accepts the beers and shots Tyler offers, chatting it up and laughing with total strangers and even dancing a little to the pounding rhythms and bass. Huh. Maybe they’re further along on the make-Jamie-more-social meter than he thought.

Except then Jamie’s crowding a random guy into a corner and – okay, they’re making out.

Turn that maybe into a definitely.

Tyler knows Jamie’s into guys. It’s not a problem by any means – Tyler’s bisexual himself – but Jamie’s usually super fucking discreet about it. Tyler’s generally the same, because despite what people may say about society becoming more and more accepting, there still aren’t any openly gay players in the NHL, and Tyler’s had his fair share of media attention without the added drama of his sexuality. Jamie had been somewhat wary of Tyler when he first came to Dallas, and Tyler really couldn’t blame the guy – he was about to be named captain of an NHL team that was rebuilding and looking to end a five-year playoff drought. Jamie couldn’t afford to deal with that kind of drama.

But Tyler’s not really thinking about that at all, because he’s got a great buzz going, so he just stares, watching the way Jamie’s big hands pin the guy’s arms to the wall, the way he smothers the guy with his size and strength – Tyler has a type, okay, and Jamie definitely fits that mold, and this is pretty hot. He’s not ashamed to find his teammate attractive; there are so many hot guys in the locker rooms these days, it would be too damn hard to repress all of that.

He’s so caught up in watching that he doesn’t notice the flash of the camera.


The original picture is deleted from Twitter before Tyler gets a chance to see it the next morning, but it’s already too late. Tyler’s received at least a dozen screencaps of it from buddies via text, one strangely with the caption dude is that u???

Tyler’s stomach drops when he sees it. It’s Jamie, of course it’s Jamie, and there’s that guy he’d been making out with, and parts of the image are blurry but there is no denying that it’s a picture of Jamie kissing another man, and who knows how many people have seen it by now. Tyler opens up his Twitter feed to find #JamieBenn trending. Facebook is no different. He hesitates for a moment before clicking on the name.

It’s everywhere.

Tyler’s breath catches and he feels the gnawing dread working its way up his spine. Copies of the picture have been posted so many times, there’s no way the internet will ever let it go. Tyler swallows hard and scrolls through some of the comments, and then his blood runs cold.

wat a fuckin faggot!

Disgusting. There’s no place for this kind of bullshit in the NHL.

A big fat fag as an NHL captain? They’d better fucking make him resign. Better yet, kick him off the team!

wtf jamie benns a homo???

disgrace to his team and the entire nhl

Instantly the guilt surges through him and Tyler thinks he might be sick. Last night wasn’t Jamie. It can’t have been Jamie. It was the alcohol, no doubt about that. The alcohol Tyler gave him. Jamie’s so careful about how he goes about every little detail of his life that Tyler knows he’d never have kissed a guy at a party like that sober. Tyler’s the one who convinced Jamie to let loose, and now that could fuck over his entire career.

Fuck, Tyler’s the biggest piece of shit in the world right now.

He scrolls back through the texts he’d received. Most of them are variations of, did you see what your captain did? but one of them catches his eye again.

dude is that u???

Tyler frowns as he stares back at the photo. Whoever the guy is, he got lucky that his features are all blurred. He’ll get to blissfully go on with his life like everything’s normal, and no one will ever know that he was the stranger getting kissed by Jamie Benn.


The guy’s build is pretty similar to his, Tyler notices. And he’s wearing a hoodie, which would hide any tattoos. The face is blurred, but it’s enough to tell that the guy is clean-shaven, like Tyler.

He’s not actually hungover. Tyler would love to pin what happens next on a pounding headache and a momentary lapse of judgement, but he’s really only got himself to blame for this whole thing, so taking the full plunge just seems natural. He’s soundly aware of what the consequences might be if he follows through with this, but he also knows that they will be way worse for Jamie if he doesn’t.

So he takes a deep breath and posts the picture to his Twitter, along with the caption, O captain my captain, always so good to me, and waits for the resulting implosion.