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Peter and the Were-Llama

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               “Peter, that kills people! Peter!”

               “It’s not my fault those pathetic ‘were-llamas’ aren’t as durable as werewolves how was I supposed to know that stabbing them in the chest would kill them?”

               “Because generally when you stab someone they die?”

               “You do know we’re talking about supernatural creatures right? And that they pushed you off a bridge right?”

               “Oh my god, when did I end up with Karl as a body guard during pack hunts, and missions?”

               “Who the fuck is Karl? Are you sure you didn’t get a concussion when you landed in the river?”

               “It was a three foot drop, so no. And how have you not seen Llamas with Hats? You came out of that coma like five years ago now, you’ve had time to catch up.”

               “Sorry, I’ve been busy killing everyone that Scott allows to terrorize the town, because he won’t kill anyone.”

               “You do know that most people would be proud of others for not resorting to murder right?” Stiles yells from across the room.

               “Yeah well, forgive me for my pragmatism. It’s a real problem.”

               “Great, now I have to educate you. Unfortunately I’ll settle for internet videos since you can’t teach ethical and moral codes to old werewolves.” Stiles says and pulls up Youtube and typing in Llamas and letting auto-complete do the rest.

               “Ah yes, summer nights are the best time for schooling me in the ‘internet.’”

               “Just shut up and watch them.”

               Stiles makes it through 4 videos worth of hmms before he cracks and yells at peter again.

               “That hurts now we’re both in the wrong.”

               “Oh my God! You’re irritating as hell and now I’m going to have to deal with this.”

               “Shut up.” Peter cut in and kisses Stiles.

               Stiles pushes away as hard as possible, flails, his face a bright red as he starts yelling. “What the hell Peter? I’m not gay, and if I were I wouldn’t be into creepy dads like you.”

               “You have one daughter when you’re in your early twenties and suddenly you’re the ‘creepy dad.’ Also really? I had you pegged for bisexual years ago.”

               “Well, you’re wrong.”

               “I really thought you like male faces too. I need to delete some diary posts then.”

               “What? I need to leave.”

               “I guess.”

               “What is your problem?”

               “Well, I am a dangerous sociopath with a long history of violence, so I guess it is a good idea for you to leave.”

               “I’m leaving Peter. I’ve got all my stuff. I’m not coming back Peter. You are completely insane.” Stiles says and slams the front door behind himself as he leaves.