"So," John- if that was his real name, which Rodney very much doubted- drawled. "This is what you do all night?"
"Essentially," he said, carefully swirling his beaker and noting the change in color. "Hand me that tubing. No, no, not the copper, the- yes, that one."
"Not going to terrorize any villagers?" John pressed, watching as Rodney finished setting up his experiment. "Pick up some impressionable young maidens? Maybe make an evil plan?"
Rodney rolled his eyes and sighed. Were all thralls this much work, or did he just get a defective one? "I have way too much research to do to worry about whoring around and terrorizing peasants, thanks."
John put his elbows on Rodney's worktable and leaned forward, waggling his eyebrows in what Rodney assumed was supposed to be a seductive fashion. "You sure?"
"Is that what this is about?" he asked, resisting the urge to slap his hand against his forehead. "Look, I don't know what you've heard, but I have wives. Blonde ones."
"Sure you do," he replied, smirking.
"They just went out for a couple of virgins and a pack of cigarettes," Rodney said defensively, crossing his arms over his chest. "They're due back any time now."
"And when did they leave?"
The vampire muttered something.
"I didn't catch that," John said, sounding more triumphant than Rodney liked.
"1946," Rodney sighed, defeated.
"So," John said again, drawing it out in that infuriating way that Rodney was already starting to recognize and slightly despise. "I mean, I'm here, maybe we could-"
"Look," Rodney snapped, cutting him off. "I don't know what you think you're here for-" John lifted an eyebrow at him. "Okay, I know exactly what you think you're here for, but what I actually enslaved you for was to assist me with my experiments. And yes, I know, vampire here, very sexy, very mysterious, very dashing-" John snorted at that- "but I'm not going to hold back the progress of science just so you can get your rocks off with an immortal, okay?" Rodney scrubbed a hand through his disappointingly thin hair, suddenly feeling all of his three hundred and forty-two years. "God knows you'll just leave when you're done anyway, and then I'll have to kill you, and then I'll have to find somebody else, and I'll get even further behind in my research, so can we please just stay focused here?"
When he looked up, John was looking at him with something akin to pity, and Rodney kind of wanted to smack him across the room. "What is it?"
John shrugged. "You put your tubing in upside down."
Rodney startled. "What?"
"The valve should be on the other side. You're going to get backflow this way."
"Oh," Rodney replied, feeling rather pathetic.
The rest of the setup went fairly well- far faster with help than he could have done it alone, genius intellect and various vampiric powers aside. John kept giving him speculative, sidelong looks, studying Rodney like maybe he was planning something; but Rodney just rolled his eyes and went back to the experiment.
"There," he said finally, sitting back and crossing his arms, satisfied.
"That's it?" John asked, sounding distinctly non-thrilled about it.
"Well, the mixture needs to filter overday," Rodney allowed, "but for now, yes. You know, this is why I don't usually bother doing chemistry. It takes so long, and it stinks up the whole castle, but I really think that this experiment-"
While he was still opining, there was a little snick!, and John said, "Oh, would you look at that."
Rodney sat up suddenly, clutching the edge of the table. "You didn't."
John held up his hand, blood shining wetly on one of his fingertips. "Must have cut it on all this glassware," he said, doing a very poor job of faking innocence. "Oh well." He lifted his hand to his mouth, smearing the droplet across his lips before sliding his finger between them.
Rodney's chair clattered to the floor, forgotten. "You seriously don't want to fuck with me."
John's finger made an obscene, wet pop when he pulled it out of his mouth. "That's where you're wrong."
Rodney had been slowly advancing on John, unconsciously going for his prey, but John's wanton display made him stop in his tracks. "You're completely insane, aren't you?"
John lifted an eyebrow at him. "I volunteered to be enslaved to a vampire. It kind of goes with the territory."
"You have a point," Rodney allowed.
"C'mon, Rodney," John cajoled, stepping right into Rodney's space, the scent of his fresh, strong blood encircling him. "You did your experiment. It's not going to hurt anything if you leave it alone. You can stand to live a little."
Rodney suddenly surged forward, driving John into the wall by his collarbone, holding him easily in place. "I don't think you know what you're playing with," he told John, his eyes locked onto John's neck. "I might just kill you. I might not be able to stop myself."
John smelled afraid, but he didn't show it at all, his lips curling into a smirk. "I don't think you've ever lost control in your entire life, McKay."
"I can be wild," Rodney protested, frowning.
John smirked even harder, if such a thing were possible. "Sure."
"Shut up," he snapped, shaking John a little in his exasperation.
"Okay, okay," John sighed. "I admit, I may have had," he paused, tilting his head, "certain expectations about, y'know, being totally at your mercy and everything, but if you really want me to spend the rest of my natural life doing nothing but moving Erlenmeyer flasks around for you and nothing else, I'd rather you just ate me now."
"Well," Rodney said, licking his lips. "Let's not be too hasty." John grinned, wide and dirty, letting his head drop back, stretching his gorgeous neck out for Rodney. "God, I don't even know what to do with you."
"I have a couple of ideas," John offered.
"I think I'll just play it by ear, if it's the same to you," Rodney said, pressing his face against John's neck, trying to pick exactly the right spot to slide his fangs in. John smelled amazing, turned on and cocky, with just a little bit of fear to make it interesting; but it was nothing compared to the taste, the way it bloomed in his mouth when he finally bit down, John filling up his senses. And even that was just nice compared to the connection between them, how he could feel everything about John. John's cock was rock hard in his pants, and Rodney could feel it, just as clearly as if it were his own.
Touch yourself, he ordered mentally, not wanting to lift his mouth from John's neck for even long enough to speak. John's movements were sluggish with lust, but he obeyed, wiggling his hand underneath the waistband of his pants and taking his dick into his hand, stroking slow and hard enough to make Rodney moan against his neck. God, John was perfect, giving everything up to Rodney and loving every second of it, panting and shaking and wanting more and more.
Mine, Rodney insisted, sucking hard on John's neck, holding him tighter against the wall, and John just lost it, coming long and hard into his boxers. And God, Rodney just wasn't ready at all- it'd been years since he'd felt someone have an orgasm- and, honestly, centuries since he'd been able to do it on his own- and he'd forgot how amazing it was.
If only John could do it again, right that second. Maybe there was some kind of device he could buy. It was the twenty-first century, after all- surely humans had gotten on that by now.
It was good that Rodney had already eaten, because he could have happily drained John and still wanted more; he contented himself with a few more precious mouthfuls before pulling reluctantly away, apologetically licking the marks from his fangs closed. He couldn't really do anything about the massive hickey that went with them- but, then again, he didn't really want to.
Rodney released him, finally, standing back and straightening his clothes. "I'm not usually quite so-" He gestured vaguely. "If I'm going to seduce someone- not that I do very often, mind- I usually make a plan. I mean, I try to get them naked, at least."
John's eyes rolled back and fluttered closed. "If it gets better than that," he slurred, "you really are going to kill me."
"Shit, you need to lie down," Rodney said, nervously, hoping John wouldn't just pass out on him.
"Whoa," John said, as Rodney scooped him up and started carrying him off to his bedroom. "You just want me to start making more blood," he laughed, still sounding distant and high.
"Of course I do," Rodney huffed. "Hello? Vampire?"
John snorted. "I kinda noticed." He shut his eyes, putting his arms around Rodney's neck. "It's okay. Think I kinda like it."