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Chapter Text

It was a gold-lit hallway, with light coming from tempest torches inside glass cases that lined up along the wall, giving the sense of mysterious intrigue of an old dungeon. But despite its faux-goth décor, the place smelled rich with ylang-ylang oil. If Loki didn’t know better, he would have thought he was walking into a luxurious spa, not an underground club owned by someone his brother had trouble with.

He had had a long day at college and the last thing he wanted to do was being ‘told’ to get into a car, and drove for 45 minutes to the more expensive side of town where he only visited once. The man that sat across from him, a burly man with fat, round belly and red beard, handed him an envelope. The note was written in a scripted handwriting with strong sure strokes, telling him to come along nicely, or Helblindi would be history.

Loki knew his brother had a serious case of gambling habit, and he places bets on everything from horses to the weather forecast. He was convicted once, and then was on a parole. If he got arrested again, there was no way Loki could get him out of trouble. And their father would probably strangle is eldest son with his own hands, if he could.

So here he came, walking into the club where he had the faintest idea what was in store for him.

The heavy door was large and gold with Celtic or Nordic patterns. There were two guards standing on each side of the frames, and a gigantic black man was the one who opened the door from inside. Loki saw two surveillance cameras above the frames and he knew that was why whoever waited behind that door knew he was coming.

Loki frowned, though, as he remembered passing the corridor that led to this back room. There were similar doors along the hallway, though less decorative. Some rooms were left open, and what Loki saw inside gave him a sense of apprehension. He caught a glimpse of a leather bench, with straps hanging free from it. Another room featured a more slender bench, still leathery and made of steel, but there were four pads on it as if to hold someone’s hands and legs in place.

As he walked past another room, he caught a glimpse over the closed door with a small window. It looked like a weight-lifting bench, but there was some kind of machine next to it. With a rod. He realized with a sinking feeling in his guts that this was not a gym.

The door swung open, and Loki stepped inside. At the center of the room stood a large table and a large chair that accommodated a large man. The boss was young, looked to be in his late 20s or early 30s, with long blond hair and a rich beard along his strong jaws. Electric blue eyes glared at Loki as he was brought to stand right before the desk.
The boss nodded at the man who led him here. “Thank you, Volstagg.”

“Pleasure, Thor.”

Loki tried to appear nonchalant, but his legs shook under the jeans and his palms were sweating. “Mr. Odinson, you claimed that my brother owes you money. I couldn’t see why I should be here, because I could just sign you a cheque.”

“Do you know how much he owes me?” Thor spoke, his voice like a low rumble of thunder, but his eyes, those impossible blue eyes, wore a little mischievous glint as he looked at Loki.

“A thousand, a few thousands.” Loki tried to suppress his anger while saying the words. That was his saving for the whole year, and the last cache he had left since Helblindi always lost in games after games, leaving all the rents and household costs to Loki on top of the bloodletting tuition fee.

"Thirty grand,” Thor said.

Loki paled.

“You must be joking.”

Once the words left his mouth, the temperature in the room seemed to drop. Loki darted his eyes around and saw that everyone in the room was staring at him with unreadable expressions.

Thor rose to his full height and gods, he looked predatory. The man walked from behind his desk and stepped right in front of the dark-haired man. He was just an inch taller than him, but he was looming, like a thunder cloud, with dark, grim face, all lights and easy smile vanished. Loki gulped.
“What did you say?”

“I said, I said maybe there is a misunderstanding,” Loki rephrased. “How should I know that he owes you that much? Is there any proof I can see?”
But what he said only made matter worse, Loki realized, because a hand flew and grabbed his jaws and squeezed. Loki winced and tried to yank his face free, but Thor held him in the iron grip.

“Do I look like I’m joking?” Thor’s breath fell on his face. “When two people gave their words, they shouldn’t break them. I did my part by giving him my money, but when it was his turn to give it back, he just ran. It doesn’t hurt just my wallet.”

“F—fine!” Loki gritted his teeth. “Let me go to my father. I will get the money and pay you back.”

The hand that yanked his hair backward made Loki cry out loud. He could feel the heat from Thor’s body, and knew that this man could simply crush him with his bare hands.

“No one lies to me.” Thor said in a low voice. “Do you think I don’t know that your alcoholic father is in an asylum? That your brother is broke and out of job? There is no way that you will get money from your father or brother, Loki.”

The way Thor growled his name gave him chill, but there was also heat. How did he know so much about them when Loki had no idea who this man was prior to this day?
“So, what should I do, Loki?”

“I’ll pay.” Loki said, swallowing hard because he knew he couldn’t, but that was the only answer the other man needed to hear right now, and that was the only thing he could give here. “I’ll pay, just give me…give me some time.”

“How are you going to pay me back?”

“Give me a few days. I will get the money, I promise.” He stole a glace up, and was feeling hopeful to see that Thor was staring at his lips. “Please…”

Something flickered in Thor’s eyes, and then, after a long, suffocating moment that he was holding Loki’s jaws and searching Loki’s eyes, Thor took a step back and let Loki go. The younger man stumbled and bumped into the large man who brought him here.

“Volstagg will be watching you. If you run, I will kill you, your brother and father.”

Thor threatened.

Loki rubbed his jaws, wincing, but nodded as he returned Thor’s glare with his own.

As he walked towards the door, flanked by Volstagg and another blond man with a fine beard, he took the last glance at Thor. Loki tried to take in as much as he could in case he had to report to the police (if he made it out alive), and told himself that it was not the trick of the light that there was an enigmatic grin on Thor’s face.


Chapter Text

He had been making calls during the past three days. Lots of calls, and Loki regretted doing so. His self-esteem could only suffer much, after a dozen rejections and humiliation he was going through. He even called a distant aunty living states away that he last saw a decade ago. Her first response was ‘Loki who?’ and that was pretty much it. She couldn’t remember him, or chose not to. It seemed no one wanted to be your friends or cousins once you’re poor, broke, or in troubles.

After some more dozen calls and he was sure he had covered all his family tree, there was a voice from the couch.

“Boy, let me give you a friendly advice?”

He turned and looked at the heavy man with a big belly and red beard that was slouching on his couch with crumps from pizza all over himself and the furniture.

“If you’re so wise to give me advice, then you know what manner is and stop littering my place!” Loki yelled.

The blond man whose name he learned was Fandral snickered from another corner. He was sticking his hand inside a glass cage where Jormungandr was sleeping, and giggled when the snake stirred and tried to move away.

“Leave the snake alone!” Loki shouted.

“My, you’re so touchy!” Fandral chuckled. “Here, you think he could swallow you down, Volstagg? Wanna try the tight embrace of the crawly?” Fandral referred to the python while sticking his arm further down to pet the snake.

Loki stalked towards Fandral and slammed the lid down. It startled the snake who Loki mentally apologized to and walked back to stand near the window to make another dial. He needed to breathe.

“Listen, I’m serious. I can tell you how to get out of this fucked up situation.” Volstagg offered with a mouthful. “You agreed with me, Fandral?”

Fandral opened the cage again and tried to stroke Jormungandr. “What you’re getting at?”

“I meant Thor.” Volstagg said. “Show him that you really want to right the wrong. Maybe he will give you a remission. He might be harsh, but he is a big softie inside.”

“Don’t let him hear that, Jesus. But that’s not a bad idea,” Fandral spoke, still petting Jormungandr. “Thor’s an old school. He has a sense of honor and doesn’t like anyone to mess with him. But if you face it head on, he would respect you for that. And I can tell that he likes you, because if he is really, really pissed, you wouldn’t be here yelling at us.”

“Or we wouldn’t be here baby-sitting you.” Volstagged added.

Loki turned, putting an arm over the chair as he collected the information. Still, it didn’t make sense. “What are you suggesting?”

“Were you blind, smartie?” Fandral tried to lift the snake from the cage, but Jormungandr drew himself away. “Didn’t you see how he looked at you at the club?”

Loki frowned, but he knew what Fandral was suggesting. Of course he wasn’t blind, but how could he think that a big, blond, intimidatingly man like Thor would be giving him a once-over while threatening him at the same time.

“He’s interested.” Volstagg said. “I can tell. So, maybe you can struck another deal. Get an easy way out.”

“Oh, right.” Loki snorted. “What could a thug like him do with a college student like me.”

Volstagg asked his friend. “Is he really oblivious or do we have to spell it out for him?”

Loki bit his lips and that made Fandral smiled. But his face turned serious the next sentence.

“Thor is no ‘thug’. And it’s not like you never did it.” He gave Loki a leery smile and it sent a strange prickling on Loki’s neck. “A pretty thing like you.”

“What is that supposed to mean?” Loki felt his face burn hotter.

Volstagg and Fandral exchanged a look, then they burst out laughing.

“Oh, oh! This is perfect!” Volstagg cried out.

“Are you a virgin?” Fandral asked.

“I’m not!” But the two men wouldn’t stop laughing. “I’m not discussing this with you!” Loki turned away to hide his face. “Shut up or I’ll kick you two out!” He said over his shoulder.

“Oh, Thor would love to hear this.” Volstagg said.

“Don’t you think he’s already figured it out?” Fandral snickered. “He must have smelled it. Yes.” He pulled out his phone.

Loki didn’t want to hear any of that, so he slumped down in his chair with hands on his head, and tried to think. Maybe he should try the high school year book…

After another hour, he did remember Thanos.

That man was a Greek loan shark and his father’s ex ‘friend’. It was suicidal to borrow from a shark to pay another, like condemning yourself in an endless cycle of misery. But at least this might buy him some time to look for a way out, or to hunt Helblindi down and drag him back to clean his own mess.

He got a weird doom metal as a calling melody, followed by a gravel ‘hello’ from the other end.

“Hello!” Loki’s hope spiked. “Sorry to bother you.”

“Who are you and how the fuck did you get my numbers?”

“It’s Loki. Laufey’s son, your former friend…co-worker.”

“Go to hell.“

“Wait, don’t---!”

Loki didn’t finish the word when the phone was snatched from his hand.

He spun around, eyes widened to see Thor behind him.

Chapter Text

It was like when a storm hit your window, and you couldn’t run fast enough to close it and once you did, it was still too late and you got the full splash on your face. That was how Loki felt as he stared at Thor.

He didn’t hear how Thor had sneaked into his apartment, or how he seemed to materialize out of thin air. Fandral and Volstagg were not in sight, and Loki jumped up from the chair.

“Hello.” Thor said into the phone, holding Loki back with his extended arm pushing against the younger man’s chest to prevent him from grabbing the phone back. “Ti kanis, Thanos?

Loki’s eyebrows shot up his forehead as he thought, He speaks Greek?

“My apologies. It’s my client who’s calling you.” Thor smiled as if Thanos could see it and Loki didn’t miss the emphasis on the word ‘my’. “Yes, yes. Sorry he’s bothering you. Laufey? Yes, he really is Laufey’s son.” A pause. “Yeah, I’ll take care of this. Listen, come by Mjolnir sometimes. I may have a special arrangement for you.” Thor winked at Loki as he chuckled deeply. “Yes, I will take care of my stuff. Sorry again for the trouble. Yia sou.

Thor killed the line and suddenly, like an illusion artist, the carefree mask slipped from Thor’s face and he nearly threw the phone back at Loki.

“What do you think you’re doing?”

Loki would have stepped backward if he wasn’t blocked by the desk, so he leaned back, hands gripping the edge and trying to keep his body as far away from Thor as he possibly could because Thor’s body was edging closer and closer until it loomed over Loki. He found himself looking into the darkened blue eyes only a breath away from him when Thor pressed in and Loki had to lean back even further to not touch the other man, with less than an inch of space between them. Finally, he leaned back so much that his hips jutted out and he thought, what is it that's pressing into my leg??!

“That’s supposed to be my question!” Loki shot back.

“You think it’s wise to borrow from a loan shark to pay me back?”

“What’s the difference?”

“I’m not a loan shark.” Thor said. “Did Hel never tell you about me?”

Loki raked his memory, but he had no recollection of Thor whatsoever.

“No…he didn’t.”

Thor looked disappointed and his voice grew more gritty. “All right. So we aren’t exactly best friends.” Golden eyebrows knitted together. “But I’d thought he was a better man than this.”

Loki didn’t understand what Thor meant, and he didn’t care. Thor had no right to act or look disappointed while threatening him like this.

“Oh, so you’re a better man?” Loki snapped. He might hate Helblindi for being an irresponsible dip-shit of a brother, but he wouldn’t let anyone, not even gangsters in fancy suits like Thor insult his family. “You think just because you‘ve got a big load of cash that you’re better than anyone else?”

“At least I’ve never cheated people.” Thor answered.

“But you give them death threats. How noble.”

“It was your brother who broke the deal. So don’t try to turn this against me.”

“You know what I thought?” Loki went on, not caring how there wasn't a glint in Thor’s eyes anymore, or how alarmed the two other men looked as their jaws tightened and they kept their distance from Thor and Loki. “I thought that maybe you really made this up because where’s the paper?! All I got from you was empty threats. How can I know that you weren’t making things up?”

“Ah, I see.” Thor’s eyes were cold even though he was seething inside. “It was your brother who ran away with the money he couldn’t pay back and now it’s you who’s trying to spin this against me.” So what are you going to do when you run out of excuses to blame on someone else?”

“Thor.” Fandral spoke from behind, but Loki saw how his mouth fell shut when Thor’s fist flew up in the air and silenced him.

Those words stung, but he had no way to run. He knew that these guys could hurt him even without any papers, but he had to search for a way out….

“I have to see it.” Loki hated how his voice was trembling and the retort sounded weak. “If you’ve got anything at all, then let me see it.”

“All right…” Thor let out a long, harsh breath. “I thought I could at least save you from your own humiliation.” Thor fixed his eyes on Loki the whole time as he pulled an envelope out of his black blazer. “But you insisted.” He plastered the white paper on Loki’s chest and took a step back.

Loki straightened up and pulled it out to read. Thor could see how the color drained from his face.

It was really Helblindi’s signature, signed under the loan agreement. And Loki’s name was there as the guarantor with a forged signature.

“But I didn’t sign this!” Loki shouted, shaking the paper in front of him. If he could, he would strangle Helblindi right here. “You have no right to hold me responsible!”

“Oh, so you’re not keeping your word now, Loki?” Thor asked, his face darkening, and even Loki could tell that the other man’s patience was wearing thin … as thin as a tissue paper soaked in the rain.

Out of the corner of Loki’s eyes he saw that Volstagg and Fandral had locked the door. Their easy going manner was gone and their faces were solemn as Loki’s eyes dashed between the three men.

“Are you going to k--kill me…if I can’t pay?” Loki asked, his voice suddenly small. The room temperature seemed to drop and for a minute, Loki was afraid.

Thor took a real close look at the younger man before him, noting the dark rings around his eyes. The eyes he remembered seeing in Helblindi’s phone as he showed off his brother's picture after a boxing session they'd had at the gym. The young man in the photo he saw back then looked much healthier than the man before him now. In the course of just six months Loki had lost weight. Thor saw how his collar bones jutted out from under the well-worn shirt, and his natural pale skin looked even more pallid, not the kind of pearlescent beauty he’d expected.

Yet, up close, Loki was even more attractive than in the photo. His cheekbones, lips, and long slender neck begged to be touched. Thor wanted to put marks on them rather than knuckle or finger prints. He knew he was interested the moment he saw Loki’s picture. While Helblindi was good looking and street-smart, the little brother who, according to Helblindi, was ‘too sensitive’, ‘clever’ and ‘a little weird’, had caught Thor’s attention.

But if there was one thing he'd learned the hard way from his father, it was to never mix business with pleasure. Thor realized at this moment that perhaps it was a lesson he'd never learned, and that was why his father had kicked him out.

Green eyes looked up at him, slightly defiant, slightly afraid, and Thor had to bite his inner cheek, willing himself to calm down.

“No, if I don’t have to, and if you really want to stop this mess. Do you?” he asked, as patiently as he could muster.


“Have you showered?” Thor asked.

That brought a frown across Loki’s dark eyebrows. “What?” Fingers wound into his hair around the nape of his neck and Loki almost jumped out of his skin. Thor’s touch burned. And next, Thor was sniffing his hair. Loki froze on the spot and then he yanked himself out of Thor's reach, scurrying away. “What are you doing!?”

“Have you ever been fucked by a man?”

Of course….not. He watched gay porn and he'd wanted to try, but he hadn’t. He felt his face burn.

A low chuckle resonated across the room. “I'll take that as a no.”

Loki felt hot all over from shame, and turned his head sideways. Thor was mocking him, mocking his inexperience and stupidity. Of course, he would. He stole another look at the older man. Of course, Thor wouldn’t know how it felt to doubt himself, to feel closed inside his own skin while trying to deal with the world. He looked like the kind of man that had anyone he wanted under his thumb, doing as he pleased. Under other circumstances, Loki might find himself doing the same, wanting and waiting for a chance to get to know him, to be connected. Who wouldn’t want to press closer to a powerful body like that?

But under the circumstances, he said, “It’s none of your business.”

The room tipped and the next thing Loki knew he was on his back on the couch and looking up at Thor. The big man held him down by gripping around his throat and cutting off the air from his windpipe, while with the other hand he grasped Loki’s wrist.

“I’m not going to repeat myself.”

Loki’s eyes widened at the realization that Thor could have killed him with his bare hands. He shook his head and Thor loosened his hold.

“That’s easy.” There was something in Thor’s eyes that Loki couldn’t pinpoint. It looked…dangerous, almost predatory.

“Now, listen carefully. You have two choices, because I hate it too when life seems to give you no options.” Thor said. “One: we can auction you to my existing clients. Men, women, trans, old and young. We’ll sell your ass to the highest bidder, and for the run of their money, they can do anything they want with you. What do you think?”

Loki could only stare at Thor in horror.

“I’m sure they would enjoy spanking that bubble butt of yours. A mound like that looks gorgeous when it gets spanked a few good times, real hard 'til the red blossoms on your skin. You might even ask for more while you're sobbing.”

Thor looked slightly flushed and Loki gulped. The words made him feel hot and cold at the same time.

“Imagine what you’d look like if someone spreads your cheeks apart, and presses his tongue--.”

“Stop it!” Loki cried out, and his pants became a little bit too tight.

“I know some would breech you first by a dildo, then fuck you bareback, and put a plug in you so you will be loose and wet enough for the next round. But if we can’t find anyone who’s willing to pay thirty grand, maybe we can find you a group auction with a few more men…”

“Stop it.” Loki hissed and shuddered.

“Or two: you give your ass to me. And I’ll consider the debt paid.”

“Haha!” Loki let out a fake cackle. “This is the craziest thing I’ve ever heard!”

Thor’s smile vanished. Loki realized he was in real trouble and that he had pushed the man too far.

Thor yanked him up from the couch and bellowed. “GUYS!”

Volstagg and Fandral were next to the couch within a blink of an eye.

“Negotiations failed.” Thor said as he held Loki by the collar.

Volstagg’s face fell when he looked at Loki as if to reprimand the younger man that he'd ruined his chance. Then it all crashed in on him as soon as he saw that Fandral was pulling out a wire.

“Wait, wait, no!” The click of steel made Loki panic. “You can’t do this!”

Volstag pulled out a roll of duct tape and was about to put it over Loki’s mouth.

“Nononono n——!” Loki was struggling and kicking, but Fandral already knelt down with the packing wire in his hands. Did they carry this stuff with them all of the time? Loki wondered as Fandral expertly wrapped the wire around his ankles.

He lifted his hand, and he was going to hit Thor when a click made him stop.

His wrist was cuffed, and Thor smoothly slid the other around his free hand.

“Too bad we couldn’t come to an agreement. This thing has been dragging on long enough. What a waste of such a virgin ass like yours. Still, in the meantime, I need my money.” Thor signaled towards the aquarium where Jormungandr slept. “That snake might fetch me 500 at best, but it’s better than nothing.”

Fandral finished binding Loki’s legs, forcing him to lean all his weight against Thor so he wouldn’t fall on his face. Then, the short-haired blond rose and walked towards the aquarium where the python stirred, as if he sensed what was going on and started moving in discomfort. Fandral opened the glass lid, reaching down towards Jormungandr who tried his best to move away within the confinement…

Thor was holding Loki’s wrists in one hand when a shout escaped Loki’s lips, “NO! Leave him alone!” He nearly screamed with fright, spinning himself around to face Thor, cuffed hands scrabbling to grasp Thor’s shirt. “All right! I’ll do as you said! Just don’t hurt him, please don’t….”

The two men stopped what they were doing as if waiting for their cue. Thor lifted one questioning eyebrow as if he was waiting for a confirmation. “Do what, Loki?”

It was hard to speak, but he managed. “I’ll…I’ll sleep with you.”

“You’ll let me fuck you.”

Loki nodded, the corners of his eyes stung. “Yes…”

“Since you’re very careful with the ‘term’, then let me hear you say it.”

Loki squeezed his eyes tight. “I’ll….I’ll let you….fuck me.”

A grin split Thor’s face. He shouldn’t have the right to look as bright as a blinding sun to Loki's eyes, but he did.

“Then we have an agreement.” Thor said.

“Just…” Loki tried not to tremble. “Promise me that you’re not going to hurt him.”

Thor realized that the younger man meant the snake and he gently cupped Loki’s neck. “You have my word.” Thor smiled. “You’re such a good boy, Loki.”

“Fuck you.”

Thor chuckled and a deep rumble vibrated from him. “Maybe later? I wouldn’t mind if you liked topping from the bottom once in a while. It spices things up.”

What did he just say? Loki’s mind whirled. What did he mean ‘once in a while’?

Before he could ask, Thor was pulling him towards the bedroom.

Chapter Text

How should one handle this? How should one act when you knew you had to just do it with a total stranger, a felon who wouldn’t hesitate to shoot you in the guts and throw you in a river and the next time your family heard about you, it’d be in the headlines.


Loki tried to suppress a shudder. He was standing in the middle of his own bedroom with handcuffs around his wrists, and a man who had threatened him and his family was closing the door behind them with a soft click. Said man leaned back against the frame, a pleased smile on his lips. Thor looked around the room, taking in the features that spoke about its occupant. Books were everywhere, on the desk next to a laptop with reading glasses beside it, a few on the bed as if Loki had slept on them, and on the shelf sitting by a small brass scale. Other than that, the room was spartan, just like the rest of the apartment. Thor walked to the shelf and pulled out a book. “Environmental law?”


“Put it down,” Loki demanded, “and keep your hands off my things.”


Thor chuckled. “You’re quite protective of your belongings, aren’t you?” He tilted his head and looked at the line of books. “And you’re smart. I like that.”


“That’s flattering coming from someone who’s about to assault me.” Loki spat.


“And you have a sharp tongue.” Thor put the book back and returned to where Loki stood. He looked the younger man in the eye. “I really like that.” The next moment, he was grabbing Loki’s face and dove in for a kiss.


Loki stood frozen when the hot, wet tongue pushed against his lips, searching for entry. Thor cupped his jaws, calloused fingers threading through his hair before sliding to the back of his head and holding it in a firm grip as he pushed his way into Loki’s mouth. Once he succeeded, the larger man wound one arm around Loki’s shoulder, pulling him closer and deepened the kiss. Thor’s curious tongue thrust in and wiped across the palate of his mouth. They stumbled towards the bed, with Loki landing on his back as he looked up at Thor. Thor took off his jacket and threw it to the floor. Next, he was pulling Loki’s shirt up but left it around Loki’s already bound wrists. With both arms up over his head, Loki felt exposed bordering on embarrassed when Thor raked his eyes over his body.


He knew that his body was far from ideal. He was skinny, his limbs too gangly, his face and body too angular. And he was hoping Thor would realize that this whole deal was a very bad idea and just call it off. But instead of climbing off him, Thor was climbing on him, his hot hands roaming all over Loki’s body, caressing from his ribs down to his hips and then slipping around his buttocks, which got a firm squeeze through his jeans. He took one small pebbled nipple between his teeth and nibbled until Loki got hard inside his pants.


Thor then slid a hand down to stroke Loki through the fabric while suckling at his breast. Then he licked a long, wet trail up towards the underside of Loki’s armpit before burying his nose in the crook covered with thin dark hair and inhaled. The pungent aroma, like black coffee, overwhelmed his senses sending electric sparks down to his cock. He lapped at it again and was rewarded with a small gasp. The way Thor was lapping at his pit until it was damp made Loki ticklish and turned on at the same time. Thor moved to the other side and gave it the same thorough treatment, tongue flicking as if he was performing a skewed form of cunnilingus, and it made Loki’s face burn.


Thor was unbuttoning his own dark jeans. The wet spot on his black briefs drew Loki’s eyes to the long, thick shape pushing against the fabric. His eyes went wide as reality came crashing down. He was up and against the head of the bed at once with Thor following and pushing him down. Loki had a full view of Thor’s cock, so close that he saw a thick vein running like a tributary on the underside, down towards its life source underneath. Up close, he couldn’t miss how big the man was and there was no way in the seven hells he would be able to fit that thing into his body.


Thor inched closer and Loki smelled him and the tip touched his lips. “Open up,” Thor said.


“I— this—no.” Loki shut his mouth.




So, slowly, Loki opened his lips and wrapped them around Thor’s flesh. The other man sighed and rocked in and out in short, light thrusts, and soon Loki tasted salty sweet liquid on his tongue. He was grateful for a moment that Thor didn’t taste like expired milk.


“Deeper…” Thor groaned.


To Loki’s surprise, Thor did not proceed to ram his throat as he had feared, and his face heated up from the mental image and the throb in his pants. He opened his mouth wider and pulled back when his gag reflex kicked in. Thor let him breathe before thrusting in again. With his hands bound and the grip on the back of his head, all Loki could do was let Thor use his mouth. He tried hollowing his cheeks and hoped to bring Thor to completion this way, but minutes passed and even when the corners of his mouth burned, Thor still kept going.


Loki couldn’t coordinate between trying to breathe, suck and swallow down all the liquid that was flooding his mouth, both his own and Thor’s. He heard himself whimper as he desperately tried to pull away. Thor let him go with a loud, obscene pop as his thumb rubbed through the wetness on his lip, down to his jaw and Thor murmured some words he didn’t want to understand. Loki cried out when Thor pulled him into a second kiss and it was too much. His hips were lifted, his jeans yanked down as Loki thought about kicking Thor in the head, but he knew it wouldn’t do him any good. And how ashamed he felt when his erection sprang free, pressing up against his belly. The jeans were thrown unceremoniously to the side of the bed and Thor spread his legs apart.


“Look at you,” he whispered in admiration as he caressed Loki’s thighs, eyes fixating on the twitching opening, and he leaned down to kiss it. Loki’s body was on fire as Thor probed and licked, kissing and biting one of his cheeks while humming with a resonant voice. He licked Loki up from his hole to the perineum and then to his balls, lavishing Loki with playful suctions that made the younger man gasp out loud.


Thor closed his eyes in ecstasy, savoring the taste and the scent, the texture and the light trembling of Loki’s body. It was better than he’d expected and he was achingly hard. If he continued rimming, he might come now and that was not what he had in mind. Thor sucked one finger and pushed inside, and Loki immediately tried to close his legs. Not going to happen, Thor thought and thrust his finger in and out, marveling at the tightness of that pink passage.


Lube, he needed lube. He reached towards his jacket and pulled out a small bottle of luxury lube (with healing properties). Thor realized that his hands were slightly shaking as he uncapped and poured the liquid on Loki. A bit too much of the gel splashed out and Thor cursed himself for being clumsy. He wasn’t a teenager anymore, and yet he was feeling his heart in his throat as he lathered Loki up, because he was going to spill. Some of the excessive lube ran down Loki’s back from being bent nearly in half. The younger man’s chest and face were flushed as Thor growled and pushed two fingers inside. Loki winced from the burn when Thor started scissoring him and added the third finger too soon. He probed further until he felt that Loki was well lubed. Pressing Loki down with one hand on his stomach, Thor rolled his fingers in search of that sweet spot that would make Loki feel something he’d never felt before.


And then he found it. He knew when Loki’s hips canted upward. So he pressed harder, drawing out a low moan. He nearly tore the condom while trying to get it out of the wrapper and prepare himself, adding lube to the tip of his cock to keep the thing slick once he started. Thor pressed himself to the inviting hole and pushed in. Loki let out a strangled cry and Thor savored the pulsating heat that engulfed him. He was in just to the tip, but Loki already cringed and Thor had to hold down his hips so he wasn't able to dislodge him. Then he started moving in, inch by inch, until all his length was buried inside Loki to the hilt, his balls pressed tightly against the soft skin.


He saw tears streaming down Loki’s face, and that the younger man had completely lost his erection. So he stilled, giving Loki some room to breathe and adjust to his girth, before bending down to kiss his cheek. When Thor started moving again, he aimed for that spot in successive thrusts. He kissed Loki, whispering, “there you are, there you are…” and felt the slick hardness rubbing on his belly in response.


He could do this forever, with their bodies pressing from chests to groins. He wanted to cover Loki with his essence, to mark him, and his hips sped up in short thrusts as he felt more wetness where Loki was leaking, adding more to the friction. Thor knew he was going to make Loki come just like this, just by the thrusts of his cock…


His hips stuttered and his balls tightened. Thor growled and plunged into the lithe body underneath him, driving deeper and deeper, hitting that spot until Loki was panting open-mouthed. Then he screamed, convulsed, and erupted between their bodies, shooting against Thor’s stomach. Thor thrust in a few more times before his body froze up and he saw white lights.


When the orgasm subsided and Loki squirmed under him, Thor pulled out. He was alarmed to see the red tint on the condom, and how raw the hole looked. When he looked up into Loki’s eyes, he caught a glimpse of pain before Loki turned away. And before he could touch him, to ask if he was ok, Loki recoiled, drawing himself away and curling up. Thor realized that he’d better leave Loki alone to give him some room to…weep.


That realization did leave a bad taste in his mouth. So, he pulled off the latex and tied it, getting up and going into the bathroom to dispose of it and then washing his hands and face. When Thor returned, he uncuffed Loki and then he just grabbed his jacket and walked out of the door.


Just like that, he was gone.


Loki swallowed his sobs as he laid on his side, feeling himself gaping and hurting down there. He was boneless from being spent, and felt Thor’s touches everywhere...on his skin, enveloping him like a dark mist. Even when the man was gone, his scent lingered, and Loki had never felt so used and alone in his life. But he took a small comfort in knowing that it was over.




Chapter Text

Loki didn’t acknowledge Thor’s presence once the other man came out of the bathroom. He kept his eyes closed even when Thor came to pick up his jacket and pretended that he was asleep so that when he heard the door open and shut, he knew that he was left alone. He told himself that he didn’t feel hollow because Thor left without saying a word. He didn’t want to move because he was afraid Thor would do something to him, but he also wished that he would have said something that let Loki know that the ordeal he had been through actually mattered. Or that he mattered.


Just something to acknowledge his pain, but what could he expect…


After the other man had left, and Loki laid there with closed eyes, feeling drained. He'd started out pretending to be asleep until he fell asleep for real.  


Then he dreamed.


He dreamed of the things that happened before and after his father had been sent away, like watching a re-run. The old man had always been a strong figure in the house. He was quiet and confident. His tongue was sharp when he wanted to, but never directed at his boys. Loki shared this same trait with him. His older brothers told him that he also got the smart-ass genes from their father, and said teasingly that he had a girl in him from their mother, whom Loki never got to know or be held in her arms like his brothers did. Laufey was often absent, demanding to be at work, but apart from that, things were fine until the day they weren’t.


No one knew when it started, only that their father wasn’t at work anymore. He just spent a lot of time slouching in front of TV with a bottle and a glass as his company. It was like this until the fight erupted in the house, because the strains of responsibilities were put on Helblindi and Byleister. It got to the worst when he just disappeared for two days, leaving his phone and wallet behind. Loki had exams that day and he did poorly from a nervous breakdown. Helblindi and Byleister went searching for their father, deciding against reporting to the police for that time being, and gave Laufey another day. They didn’t come home last night, and Loki was left feeling afraid. He was nineteen.


His brothers returned in the morning and they were having breakfast when Byleister said that he’d call the police. Everyone fell silent, fearing for the worst when they heard a creaking sound of the door.


Everyone ran from the kitchen to the living room. What they saw made their hearts stopped. Laufey came home with bare feet, muddy and full of cuts as if he had run through the woods, and a forehead suffered a long gash and a dried cake of blood. He greeted his boys as if he had just come back from walking in the park. When they sat him down at the table, he told them that he heard that there were people out there to get him. They even planted surveillance cameras in their house, and it wasn’t safe to stay here. So he had to go and hide. And his ‘friends’ told him that once the house was cleared of all the bugs, he could come home. It was then he had realized that his friends might have been ‘not friends’. He thought he had a bug inside his head, so he tried to get it out.


The three boys felt guilty. They had thought it was just depression that their father was going through.


The only bright side of this story was that Laufey knew he wasn’t well. He just couldn’t stop himself. He gave Loki a bear hug, crushing his youngest boy to his chest, kissing the top of Loki’s head. He said he’d be back within a few weeks.


It had been two years since he was taken into a rehab.


Shortly after Laufey was taken there, Byleister told them he’d try his luck somewhere else. Loki remembered the exact words he used: ‘There is nothing left for me here.’


Loki had wanted to ask, ‘what about us, what about me?’ But he didn’t.


For the first few months, his brother called once in a while. He even wired money. It was the fourth month that Loki realized that Byleister changed his phone numbers. Emails weren’t answered. Just like that, his brother was gone.


Loki had secured a scholarship at college when he got in, and he was the one who looked for medical insurance to cover Laufey’s long-term rehab plan, and the road looked long and dark. It was then that Helblindi started gambling—which he told Loki with the first wide smile in months that he’d found a way to get a lot of money in the shortest amount of time, waving a thick wad of cash like it was a beacon of hope.


It was then that Loki’s headache started. Perhaps his mind realized that things would only go downhill from there.

The right side of his head throbbed as if being pinched by a torture device when he woke up. His room was pitch dark, and he was gripped in a moment of panic. It lasted only a few seconds when he remembered where he was and the bedside clock told him that he’d slept for a few hours.


The apartment was empty when he came out to the living room, feeling thirsty.Then, he saw a glass of water and a tablet that he recognized as a pain reliever on the kitchen table.Someone had put it there. 'I'm going to be needing more than one,' Loki thought, but took the pill to prevent the headache that he knew was coming because he always got one whenever he became stressed out.


Loki tried calling Helblindi on the phone, but it went to the voicemail again. He wished he could talk to someone about what had happened, what he had gone through during the past three days. The stillness of the room with Thor and his stooges gone, was eerie.


Loki winced as he limped toward Jormungandr’s terrarium. The python was ok so he took him out and went to sit on the couch. There he held the snake, stroking him until they fell asleep again. It was the cheapest cure he could afford.


He had a second dream. In the dream, Thor was holding him down, his hips pumping into Loki, a dark hungry look in his eyes, and it made Loki wake up with a start.


There was a sticky wetness inside his boxers and it brought shame to his face. He saw the light stream through the blinds, and Jormungandr had moved away to the floor where he must have been more comfortable. So Loki placed him back into his terrarium, then he showered.


Under the warm sprays, he was still feeling disconnected, like it was someone else living beneath his skin and he wondered if that was how girls felt when they lost their virginity. Wasn’t it supposed to feel like joy, like triumph? He closed his eyes and shuddered as he remembered his hadn't actually been lost … it had been taken. His body and mind felt like they had been put through a brutal rite of passage. His brain felt as if it was being caught in a tornado, where every fragment of his feelings and thoughts were smashed against each other inside the vortex, then thrown apart just to be crashed again.

Why is this happening to me? A small voice in his head asked when he let his head fall. Why?


He turned the faucet to heat the water up, deciding that he would stop now. He would stop torturing himself with self-pity and pain and defeat. ‘You’ve survived this long’. He told himself. ‘You’ve been through too much to…to…’


Perhaps tears could express what he couldn’t say in words, and with them went the pressure inside his head as he let them mingle with the shower.




He told himself to stop over-thinking. But mind was like an untrained monkey, he had read somewhere. It threw images and thoughts at him over and over until he was moving on an auto-pilot while he ate his breakfast.


There were phantom sensations, he realized, not just pain.He remembered how he had taken Thor into his mouth, how Thor wound his fingers in Loki’s hair and pushed. He almost choked on his food at the vivid mental images and cursed under his breath.


He did remember pain and pleasure, shot right through the core of his body and his mind.


This time, he took two tablets of the pain reliever, and spent the rest of the day curling on the couch.


That night when he prepared for bed, he noticed that Thor had left the bottle of lube there. Loki snatched it from the bedside table and threw it into the bin.


The next morning, when he woke up with a hard-on, he didn’t know what to do. He usually took care of it when he had time or if he didn't he'd just run to take a coldshower before heading off to class, but with one month of term break yet to go, he did have the time. He slid his hand downward, leisurely rubbing himself through the fabric of his sleep pants and then he daringly went further to touch his tender hole. It was better than yesterday, but the throbbing was still there, deep inside of him. That sensation always pulled his memory back to the way Thor laid on top of him and took him, the way he kissed Loki and sucked on his tongue like Loki was a feast and he was starving. He couldn’t stop his hand from running inside his boxers and stroking himself. The memory turned into a fantasy and it started with two faceless men coupling, and then the man on top was holding the wrists of the man beneath him as he took him passionately with their bodies dissolving into the sensations. Loki felt himself getting more wet and he dared probe his buttocks with another finger pressing gently and it shot fire through him and his hand jerked back up. He wouldn’t touch himself there again. Soon, the scene in his head became two men wearing his face and Thor’s, and he found his release with a sob. 'I must be sick,'Loki thought as he lay panting, staring up at the empty ceiling.


On the third day, the ache was gone and he didn’t limp anymore. When his door rang he looked through the peephole and saw the familiar faces of Thor’s lackeys. They were carrying an armful of grocery bags. Loki opened the door and peered sullenly from behind it. “What do you want?”


“We brought this for you, can we come in?” Volstagg chirped.


“No.” Loki sneered. “Don't you have better things to do than to pester me? No little old ladies to steal their pension checks from?


“But we got this stuff for you,” Fandral said, ignoring the jibe.


Loki frowned and said heatedly, “I don’t want it!”


“But Thor ordered us to get this stuff for you,” Fandral explained, his expression puzzled.


“I don’t want anything from him,” Loki spat angrily. “I’ve paid my debt, now leave me alone!”


Volstagg pulled out an envelope and handed it to Loki saying soothingly, “Maybe you’ll want this? Thor said if you refused everything else, then I have to give it to you.”


He let out an exasperated sigh, but took it anyway, pulling a piece of white paper that bore curvy, strong letters like the one he’d gotten at the beginning of this mess. It read:


Dear Loki,


I hope you’re not still in pain. If you are, or if you bleed, please see a doctor. Tell Volstagg and he will make the arrangements for you.


I noticed that your python was well fed, but you starve yourself. If you want, you can take the groceries to keep both you and your pet healthy.


I’m out of the country, so I can't come to see you myself. Your taste and the feel of your skin were the first things on my mind when I woke up. I’m sorry that I was so rough on you.




Loki looked up from the letter, his mind in turmoil from the words he could not process at the moment, and glared at the two men. “If this is another debt that he’s trying to entangle me in, it isn't going to work … I’m not going to play any part of his game and I don’t want anything to do with your boss.”


Both men looked at each other and at the dark-haired man. “Game?” Volstagg asked.


“Yes!” Loki nearly shouted, and pushed the paper into the bigger man’s chest. “Now take all of this garbage with you and just leave me and my snake alone!”


Fandral stammered, “But… Loki…Thor doesn’t even like snakes.”


Loki growled as he slammed the door, “So he’d better stay away from this apartment.”




The next morning, when he walked into the kitchen and opened the fridge, he found it full of fresh milk and eggs from a local farm, cartons of orange juice, gourmet sausage and cheese, homemade Italian bread, organic vegetables, and a pack of imported mineral water from an Alpine glacier. It even had a big, vacuum packed box full of fat chicken wings inside with a note on the lid: ‘for python’.


Loki took everything and placed it into a big black bag. He then put the bag on his scooter and drove to a spot where he’d seen the homeless and gave it to them. Then he went to the hardware store and bought a new set of door knobs and security locks for his apartment.






Chapter Text

It had been five days since Thor had been here, and Loki realized he'd renewed an old habit of counting the days like an addict in rehab waiting for his release. And like many addicts, the first thing that popped into his head was the source of his misery.


He was wondering if Helblindi was still alive at all. His brother never went away for this long without contact and Loki started to wonder if he should report it. The initial hurt and the sense of betrayal started to wear off and transform into worry. Another person that had haunted him the past few days and nights was the blond man. It was 3:38am. and heaving out a long sigh, Loki gave up on getting back to sleep so he decided to climb out of bed and go to his desk.


Turning on his laptop, Loki Googled Thor’s full name which he remembered from the contract, hoping that it was a real one. He just realized that he had no idea who Thor was at all, except that he’d mentioned being ‘friends’ with Helblindi. There were three surprises he didn’t expect to find, Thor’s link to a renewable energy corporation, a military background, and an obituary.


First, Thor shared the same surname with one Odin Abilgard, the President and CEO of Asgard Solar (AS) with the slogan ‘Eternal Power’. When he clicked the CEO’s photo, there was no mistaking that they were father and son, with the same sets of strong eyes and regal noses. The older Abilgard exuded power from the photo the way his son did, only he was more intimidating. They must have felt powerful, since AS was the top solar energy conglomerate in the country with over 3 billion in US revenue (Loki’s mind went blank for a minute at the figure).


Secondly, Thor’s name was in the military database, attached to an anti-drug unit stationed in central Asia seven years ago, and only six months before the troops were pulled back. Adding to Loki’s surprise, Volstagg and Fandral's names were in there too, explaining the level of camaraderie between them all.


So that bastard wasn’t only a former soldier, but his dad was a mogul in the renewable energy industry. But how could a man with such a golden background have turned into the beast he was today, Loki wondered? Since Thor’s name wasn’t in the AS company website, it meant that he wasn’t working there like a scion of a typical father & son company.


Another thing he learned about Thor was that he'd made Cosmo’s ‘Hottest Bachelors’ list five years ago. The article said that Bachelor No. 2 (No. 1 being the mayor’s son) was back on the market after breaking up with his astrophysicist girlfriend six months earlier. A girlfriend and not a boyfriend? Was that a cover-up, Loki wondered as he stared at the photo of the handsome young man in an impeccable suit with a clean-shaven face, a sun-lit smile and dancing eyes.


Loki was holding his breath as he read through an obituary dated three years ago; it was for Frigga Abilgard, Thor's mother. She was the head of a foundation working for the improvement and fair distribution of clean water in a region of Africa when she'd been killed after war erupted in the area where she'd been working.

A pang in his heart surprised him. He couldn’t imagine having a mother who was beautiful and courageous all to himself, and then having her ripped away like that. He couldn’t imagine going on with his life, believing that there was this one person who would always love him, be there for him, and then she was gone, taken away to a place where no cries or screams would reach her. He wondered if that was the same breaking point for his father and brothers, after all.


After that, Loki hit a dead-end. There was nothing about Thor’s activities during the past three years …it was as if he'd been erased from the internet with nothing to link him to anything criminal or illegal. It frustrated Loki. So, that’s how his search ended.


For a moment, he rubbed his temples to ease his headache, wondering if he should forget about everything and just resume his normal life. He still had to keep up with his grades to retain his scholarship, work at the store and get paid like normal people do to keep Jorgmungandr and himself alive (no way he’d feed Helblindi after this). He had his everyday ho-hum life ahead of him, even if Helblindi had been gone (for good? Was he still alive?). All he had to do was to put everything that had happened to him during the past week down as a nightmare.


Loki remembered how Thor manhandled him, put him in handcuffs, mocked him and then devoured him. He remembered screaming and blacking out with his body on fire, tingling and burning. Thor had cut into him like a hot knife and he was melting away, unable to stop what was happening to him, making him feel helpless … he hated it. Thor made him feel things he’d never felt before, but he walked out like Loki was nothing, leaving him while he was hurting and wondering if he could ever put himself back together again. Then there was the note he wrote him asking if Loki was alright, as if he cared.


It was a calm, quiet morning in the neighborhood. The first light hadn’t touched his window yet. Loki sat there motionless, lost in his circling thoughts.


Who are you? Why did you do this to me? Why me?




After a few hours of sleep, Loki got dressed to go to the library. Resuming his studies would take his mind off of the obsessive thinking that he'd sunk himself into. The ringing from the home phone startled him. It had been ages since someone called on that line. He went into the living room and picked it up. “Hello.”


“Loki!” Helblindi squealed from the other end of the line. “Don’t hang up!”


Relief flooded over Loki and then an anger that was red and hot. He gritted his teeth and growled, “I’m going to kill you.”


“All right, bro. But this is my one chance to call you! Come and get me first. Get me out.” The older brother pleaded. “Then you can kill me later!”


He'd changed the water for Jormungandr, telling him to watch over the apartment, and then an hour later Loki was on a Greyhound bus heading to a town eight hours away. He cursed his brother under his breath all of the way, sitting with arms crossed and getting worried glances from a woman sitting next to him. He gave her a curt nod before turning his back to her and facing the window.


A female officer at the sheriff’s department looked up from her desk, taking in the disheveled, dark-haired man with red-rimmed eyes. He looked like a junkie, and was probably a relative of that guy who was locked up in the jail because they had the same jet black hair, pale face and intense green eyes.


“Excuse me,” said the young man, voice smooth like honey. “I’m here for Helblindi Frost.”




Loki strode towards the black car that was parked in the county’s impound lot with Helblindi jogging after him. “Loki! Loki!” His brother called. He spun around when the older man grabbed his shoulder, and sent his fist into Helblindi’s face. His brother staggered backward, wincing. “Ok, you’re upset.” He said, rubbing his cheek.


“What kind of a stupid fuck are you?!” Loki shouted, shaking his hand because his knuckles hurt. He wasn’t used to hitting people. “Why did you forge my signature?!”


“I knew you’d be upset, ok?” But I needed that money! Some people were after my tail, so what was I supposed to do?” Helblindi sputtered.


“You forged my signature, Hel! You made me pay your debt! I could have sued you and you’d be locked up again for good! I can’t believe that you could do this to me and then just run away!”


“I wasn’t running away! I was on my way to make us some more money, but the shitty deputy screwed things up! He wrote me a fucking ticket! If I wasn’t locked up, I would have come home within the deadline! If I could have just gotten there, I’d have won and paid him back!”


“I wish you could hear yourself. You’re full of shit and illusions. You vandalized the patrol car, you moron!”


“I just kicked it!” Helblindi protested.


“Shut up, Hel.”


“There’s a casino a few hours from here…,” Helblindi said and that made Loki snap.


“If you go there I will kill you myself,” Loki took a step forward, glaring at his brother who stood two inches taller than him. “We’re broke! Are you happy now?”


Helblindi lifted his hands in a gesture of surrender. “Fine, fine. But tell me what are we going to do next? You said we’re broke and we've got enough gas to go to that town to make some more money or we can go home. Which one do you really think is a better option?”


“You have no idea what you’ve put me through, Hel,” Loki said, his voice suddenly quiet and raw with emotion.


“I’m going to pay you back, ok?” Helblindi’s face softened. “But how did you get the money to pay back to Thor?”


Like a punch in the gut, Loki spun around and reached the car as fast as his feet could go.


“You paid him, right?” Helblindi asked.


“I don’t want to talk about this.” Loki answered as they climbed into the car.


“Where did you get the money if you said we didn’t have enough?”


Loki kept his mouth shut.


“Come on!” Helblindi cried. Loki felt bile in his throat from the hopeful note in his brother’s voice.


“I’m not telling you where I got the money so you could waste it away. No.”


“Oh, so you don’t trust me now?” Helblindi actually sounded hurt. What gall he had, Loki thought. His brother wheedled, “Come on, really, where did you get the money that you say we didn’t have?”


Loki closed his eyes for a moment. “Why did you trust him?”


“Who? Thor? I told you about him. He's the guy I met at the gym. He’s been my boxing partner for the past six months. When I told him about the trouble I was in, he was the only person who offered to help. It was a lot of money so he needed the paper and everything.”


“Didn’t you know that your friend was a thug?”


“He told me he owns a club, well…” Helblindi scratched his neck. “I was there once, but it wasn’t my thing. Running a club isn’t a crime, Loki.”


“Oh great, you’re defending him!” Loki yelled.


“What happened?” Helblindi asked as he stared at Loki, taking in how his little brother looked like he was going to cry, on top of appearing exhausted. “Look, I know it was tough for you. You look like hell. But I’m going to take care of this ok?”


“How exactly?” Loki turned away when his brother failed to answer, shaking his head. He crossed his arms over his chest. “Forget about it.”


“Really, Loki, home or---“


“I paid your debt. I bonded you out and I paid the impound fees on your car with the last money we have. You’re the one who put us in this situation, not the deputy, not the casino or anyone else. It was you.” Loki looked in his brother’s eyes. “This is the last time, Hel. I won’t do this again.”




“You need help.” Loki whispered; all strength draining from him. “You have to stop.”


Helblindi went silent; his face twisted and reddened with what Loki hoped was shame.


The older man stared at his little brother, noticing how wrecked Loki looked up close. Loki had always been thin, but there was nearly a blue translucence to his skin as if he had been plagued by some sickness. His eyes were bloodshot like he hadn’t slept or had cried hard. He looked worse for wear and Helblindi knew he should drop his grand scheme for now.


“Ok, so let’s go home.” He said as he started the car.




They drove back to their town, making a couple of stops for gas, coffee and sandwiches and to use the toilet. Loki slept most of the way, but it wasn't a good sleep because Helblindi noticed how restless his brother was as he twitched and turned. When he was awoke to find Helblindi‘s questioning gaze on him, Loki quickly closed his eyes.


Loki knew that his brother still wanted to nag him about the payment or where he got the money. He decided that he wouldn’t talk about the things that happened to him, because Helblindi wouldn’t understand. In fact, he didn’t know what to do. Maybe he should move out. Maybe he should stop trying to fight for things that couldn’t or wouldn’t work out. Maybe he should have given up, but on what? Should he give up on life? His head hurt from trying to think.


They reached their apartment by two o’clock in the morning, both men too tired to notice a black SUV parked on the other side of the road as they climbed out of the car and stumbled into the apartment. Inside the car, Fandral picked up the phone and typed a text message. Cargo’s back.


A minute later, the phone pinged. Thanks. I’ll drop in tmrw.




Chapter Text


Loki startled and for a moment he was floating in a stand-still between the slumber and the waking worlds. For a moment he couldn’t remember what day it was. It slowly came to him that he was laying in his own bed, staring up at the same old gray ceiling where the paint had peeled. He tensed up just by looking at the ceiling, feeling as if it was coming down, ready to crush him. 


What drew his attention away from the ceiling was the noises from outside his room. It looked like Helblindi had woken up before he did and was now watching TV. It was pretty loud considering that the TV was in their living room. 


“Hel, turn down the TV!” He yelled, but the noises kept going. 


Loki groaned, pulling the blanket over his head. It couldn’t block the sound which appeared to grow even louder. After a moment, he threw the blanket away and groggily rose to his feet. 


When Loki entered the kitchen wearing nothing but his boxers, he stopped in his tracks seeing that there were six people at the table. The voices died down and all eyes turned to him. 


Thor stopped whatever he was doing and stared at Loki, mouth agape. Heat rose to Loki's cheeks seeing how those intense blue eyes were raking up and down his body in the way that gave him goosebumps, and he had to look away. Volstagg and Fandral were flanking Thor, and his brother was sitting at the head of the table. Their backs to Loki were two people he’d never seen before and who were now turning to look at him. One person was a dark-haired woman in a sharp suit, and an Asian guy in a printed shirt.  


The food on the table gave off a mouth-watering aroma. There was perfectly cooked bacon, ham, cheese, bread, orange juice and coffee-- like a hotel service. 


“What is this?” 


“Sleeping beauty’s up!” Helblindi chirped. “Come and join us!” 


Loki still felt Thor’s eyes on his skin and suddenly he felt very naked. Spinning on his heels, he went back into his room and put on his green t-shirt and a pair of black jeans before returning to the kitchen, but stopped at the door, not joining in. 


The Asian man had stood up and leaned against the wall, holding a cup of coffee to his lips. He had a purplish circle around his left eye, obviously from a punch. The woman in the pin-striped suit had resumed eating her breakfast, ignoring Loki. 


Loki crossed his arms. “What the hell is going on in here? What are they doing in our apartment?” 


“We’re having breakfast.” Volstagg answered, stating the obvious, but he looked totally taken with the meal and ignored Loki’s glare. “Your brother made good scrambled eggs. Mind if I have some more?” 


“Sure, man.” Helblindi got up, reaching the stove and took the pan which was still full of perfectly yellow, buttery eggs and served them to the burly man.  


“Hel.” Loki growled. He knew damn well where those eggs came from. 


“Do you want some too?” Helblindi asked. “Take a plate and sit down. We have plenty of eggs and you look like you could use some food.”  


Even if Helblindi was an oblivious fool, Loki’s heart softened hearing his brother’s words. He always loved it when Helblindi cooked for them. Not just breakfast, but on rare occasions some real food like steak and spaghetti. He said that he learned it from their mother, and Loki felt that at least he could get to know her and had a connection through the dishes. 


“No…I’m not hungry.” Loki shook his head. “Just answer me what are these people doing here.” 


“I think you’ve met Fandral and Volstagg before, so this is Sif and Hogun. They’re Thor’s friends too.” Helblindi said; his eyes twinkled as he looked at Sif. 


Sif turned towards Loki and gave him a nod. “Hi, Loki. I’m Sif and I’m Thor’s lawyer.” 


The frown on Loki’s head deepened. “What’s a lawyer doing here?” He had a bad feeling about this. Thor was drinking his orange juice, his eyes never leaving Loki. Suddenly, Loki had a moment of panic. 


“What…don’t tell me it’s about the—the contract.” He said, disbelievingly. How could Thor be doing this? After all that he’d taken from Loki, he had a lawyer with him and even a hitman. Loki’s eyes darted to the Asian man—Hogun. Obviously a hitman.  


“Breakfast!” Volstagg said merrily, cutting the panic that was rising inside Loki. “Come, Loki. It’s never good to start a day with an empty stomach.” 


Loki looked at Thor again who was putting down the glass, then at Helblindi who was chewing a mouthful and he actually looked happy. Anger rose within him. 


“What the hell made you think you could come in here and eat like it’s your place?” His voice was dripping with venom as he threw the words at Thor. 


“He’s very territorial when he’s upset.” Volstagg cut in, obviously trying to pacify the situation. Loki knew by now that Volstagg was harmless, even if he was with the man Loki hated the most at the moment. Helblindi nodded in agreement to the statement. 


“Would you eat with us? We’ll talk about it after breakfast,” Thor said, taking Loki by surprise.  


“I’ll never sit and eat with you.” Loki snarled as he glared at the blond. He took small satisfaction in seeing the disappointment in Thor’s eyes. “Whatever tricks you have in your head, spit it out now.” 


He saw how Hogun put down the coffee cup and glanced at Thor, looking displeased at Loki’s words. Fandral was the one who put his hand on the Asian man’s arm, trying to calm his friend. Great, Loki thought, let them be pissed like he was. He glared back at Thor, feeling himself burn with anger. Thor could use all the guns and men to threaten him, but he wouldn’t back down easily this time. 


“I have business with you and Helblindi, yes.” Thor said, voice still calm. “But let us have breakfast and then we’ll talk, I promise.” 


Helblindi let out a long sigh, actually perplexed at his little brother’s actions. “Thor’s right.” 


Loki winced. He knew that he was acting ridiculous in their eyes, but he had a right to. Of course, these people were friends. They were brothers in arms and Helblindi said he’d been a boxing partner with Thor for the past six months. But his brother just took that man’s side. He took Thor’s side!  


“I'll have nothing to do with the likes of you.” Loki said to Thor, then to Helblindi. “If you love your ‘friends’ so much, then just stay with them. I’m out of here.” Loki’s heart ached at the last word as he spun to leave. He’d grab his backpack and go to the library, or just leave Helblindi with these thugs, because he was done. 


“Actually, we have something to discuss with you, Loki.” Sif said and she put her briefcase on the table and pulled out a piece of paper. 


Loki felt blood drain from his face, realizing that it was the contract. 


“Oh, this.” Helblindi said. 


“As it turned out, your big brother made this deal with Thor, who lent him thirty thousand dollars. He had your name as a guarantor, and I believe that you’ve made a part of the payment to Thor when your brother couldn’t.” 


Loki’s fingers curled into fists. His stomach flipped and he felt as if someone just gutted him again with the words ‘a part of the payment’. “Yes.” 


“But it was still a late payment, and there was interest.” 


For a moment, Loki thought that his world had blacked out, things became silent and there was a ringing sound in his ears. He wondered if all the nerves in his brain had snapped, or that he wished what he just heard wasn’t real that his ears decided to give up their function. 




That wasn’t his voice, but Helblindi’s. 


Sif went on. “The interest rate is 10% for each day you failed to pay, and this means that you still owe him 41,000 in US dollars.” She lifted up one hand seeing how Helblindi shot up from the chair. 


“What the fuck!?” Helblind cried. “That’s more than what I borrowed!” 


Thor shrugged.  “That’s how we do business.” 


Helblindi’s mouth fell open and Loki stared incredulously at Thor. He felt a small satisfaction seeing how Helblindi was looking upset. Served him right for calling that man a friend! 


“But we have an offer.” Sif said. “Please sit down so we can discuss this.” 


Helblindi crossed his arms over his massive chest, puffing up as he looked at the blond man. Like a frog who tried to pump himself up in front of a crane, Loki thought. But he didn’t realize that the two of them were in an identical pose with their arms across their chests.  


“Say what you have to say.” Helbindi said. 


Sif looked at Thor, then back to Helblindi. “Thor will nullify the contract if you go to a rehab facility.” Sif pulled out another piece of paper and slid it across the table towards Loki. “And since Loki was the one who made the payment, he will be the one who calls the shots.” 


“What?!” Helblindi exclaimed. “This is crazy!” 


Loki felt as if a claw around his heart slackened. He walked towards the table and pulled up the piece of paper. “I have to read this carefully,” he said. “I don’t trust any of you and I'm not going to sign anything you've drawn up ever again.” 


“You can’t say that you’re thinking about this!” Helblindi protested and snatched the paper from Loki’s hand.  


“You forged my signature!” Loki shouted. “Give it back!” 


“What? You had the money to pay Thor, and now you’re selling me off for 40 grand!?” 


“I didn’t have any money, Hel,” Loki said weakly, feeling drained. “But I paid your debt. Now, just do me a favor. Go to the rehab and pay your own debt!” 


“You think you can just throw me into a psycho ward?!” Helblindi bit out the words. “You’ve always wanted me out of your life, haven’t you? Why?” 


Loki wanted to scream at his brother, but he couldn’t find his voice. Thor was the one who spoke up. 


 “Have you talked to Hel about what happened, Loki?”  


“Don’t you dare,” Loki hissed. 


“What, what happened?” Helblindi asked. 


“I knew it.” Thor said, realization dawned on his face. 


Helblindi frowned at Thor, perplexed further by the cryptic conversation between his brother and his friend. “Know what?” 


“That you’re oblivious. Do you have any idea how he took care of your debt?”  


“Oh, that. Yes, I was trying to ask him how he paid you when we didn’t have thirty thousand before, but he wouldn’t tell me.” 


Thor’s eyes narrowed, and he looked back at Loki. “I see. Loki, would you rather tell him yourself, or do you want me to take care of this?” 


 “Don’t you talk like you’re taking care of anything!” Loki shouted at Thor, then at his brother. “And Hel, you stupid moron! Just leave, ok? Or I’ll leave!” His voice broke at the last word. 


“No, Loki. You can’t leave.” Thor hushed.  


“You can’t order me around!” Loki’s voice escalated to a near hysterical level. 


“Until your brother takes responsibility, you’re still accountable.”  


“Hey, I know you’re upset that I paid you late, but this isn’t making any sense,” Helblindi said. “And no one is going to pay that crazy sum. No, I won’t agree to this.” 


“Well, then.” Thor stared at Loki. “He’s leaving with me.” 


“NO!” Loki yelled. 


“For fuck’s sake, Thor!” Helblindi threw his hands in the air. “Just leave my brother alone!” 


“Then take the offer.” He said, voice strained, his patience was clearly wearing thin. “You said you were in big trouble. I trusted you and helped you. Then you just disappeared. I’m giving you a second chance, and you’re avoiding it.” 


“I know that my brother cleaned up my mess for me, and I was such a jerk for missing my deadline!” Helblindi protested. “But would you guys calm down for a moment? I wasn’t running away. I was going to make the money. I’m going to pay everyone back, ok? OK?” 


“I don’t want the money, Hel.” Thor growled. “I want you to go to rehab.” 


The older brunet let out a cackle. “For what?” 


Tears welled up in Loki’s eyes. Helblindi did need help and he didn’t even know it. He remembered how his father had walked out of the house, thinking he was being chased by killers…and then he went away and Loki didn’t know when he’d return. And then Byleister, and now…Helblindi. 


Thor rose to his full height, looking down at Helblindi. “I know you’re in trouble, Hel. I should have acted faster.” 


The air in the room seemed to drop, and things turned tense. Loki saw how Hogun now straightened up, even Volstagg and Fandral tensed up and were on guard. 


“I’m confused now.” Helblindi leaned back against the chair. He knew when a fight was about to break out and he didn’t really know why everyone was acting weird. “So, what the fuck are we talking about? Why rehab? And who the fuck do you think you are to tell me what to do?” 


“I’m the guy you owe a debt to.” Thor said coldly. Loki didn’t know what to think, but he felt just a fraction of satisfaction seeing the red on his brother’s face. “And since your brother paid your debt, he calls the shots and he said he wanted you to go. You heard him.” 


It took Loki by surprise. Was Thor giving him a say in this, after all that had happened?  


“I see. You think you did me a favor once and now you’re acting like you own me?” Helblindi said loudly. 


“Probably not you.” Thor said. “But I own him.” 


That startled both the dark-haired brothers. Helblindi’s eyes darted between Thor and Loki. 


“What is that supposed to mean?” 


Thor’s face was impassive while Loki looked terrified. 


“How do you think a college student like him could have paid me back?” Thor asked, his voice low and dangerous. “With his Wall-Mart wages? He let me fuck him.” 




Everything was in slow-motion. Dishes and forks flew up from the table when Helblindi flung himself towards Thor, knocking the chairs over and sending everyone around helter skelter in every direction as they scattered. He reached out and grabbed Thor by the t-shirt under his jacket and hauled him up, but Thor was already in a defense stance when Helblindi crashed into him. 


There were curses from Volstagg whose plate flew and plastered itself to his neck with tomato sauce. Hogun and Sif had jumped away and Fandral was landing on his ass when Helblindi knocked his chair over. Loki was gripping the sink, mouth agape as he watched the two bulls locking horns. 


“I’M GOING TO KILL YOU, YOU FUCKING CUNT!!!!” Helblindi shouted. 


Both men were big and they used to be boxing partners, so it went in a blur with the speed of their close quarter combat of mixed martial arts, which looked fast and crisp compared to their bulk. Loki saw his brother try to punch Thor in the nose, but Thor blocked the blow. Then they were locked together with twisted arms and legs, faces red with grunts and Helblindi roaring again as he threw Thor down on the table, breaking the glasses and the dishes. 


Hogun drew out a gun, but Sif lifted her arm to bar him. “No!” 


Loki was shaking. For a moment he was afraid that Helblindi was in danger, but then circumstances changed and Thor was the one at risk. His brother was pinning the blond down, and Loki went cold when he saw Helblindi pick up a knife.  Thor rolled away just as Hel slammed the blade into the mahogany wood of the table, giving Thor an opening where he swung his leg up to kick Helblindi in the side of his head. 


The brunet stumbled sideways from the impact and he shook his head, hair falling down around his eyes. It left Thor enough of an opening and he was half way up off of the table, and Loki could see that his back was soaked…maybe from water, juice, or blood…. 


Helblindi lunged towards him again but he was all rage now, not tactics, aiming to rip Thor’s head off. Thor dodged the punch, taking the other man’s arm and twisting it around with his own, locking it while pushing Helblindi’s head down on the table. 


“What are you going to do, Hel?” Thor secured Helblindi’s arm and pulled, making the other man wince and shout in pain when he felt his joint was about to pop. “First you ran away, leaving that debt to your brother. And now you’re going to kill me? I can take him away from you. Why would he want to stay with a loser like you anyway!” 


Loki lurched at Thor and tried to pull him away from Helblindi. “Stop it! Stop! You’re killing him!”  


 “Back off, Loki!” Thor roared and Fandral was on him in an instant, pulling him away and holding him by the arms. 


Thor twisted Helblindi’s arm further, growling into his ear which was loud enough for everyone in the room to hear. “You weren’t there to see him cry out when I took him. If you were half the man you think you are, you would have been there in his place.” 


“Fuck you! FUCK YOU!” Helblindi shouted and screamed when Thor pulled at his arm a little more. Loki closed his eyes, fearing that he’d hear the arm snap, but the sound didn’t come. Still, Helblindi was on the verge of tears and Thor himself looked all flushed and furious. 


“Chose now. Rehab, or I’ll take him away and you won’t see him again.” 


Helblindi let out a strangled cry. “FUCK! I’ll go!” 


Thor let him go and Helblindi dropped to the floor, his chest heaving on his own stuttering breaths and tears rolling down his face. 


Loki dropped down next to his brother, supporting Helblindi.  


“Loki…” Helblindi looked up and threw his good arm around his little brother. “I’m sorry…."  His embrace, though only with one arm, was fierce. Loki worried that his brother might have a broken arm, or at least a dislocated shoulder as Helblindi sobbed into his chest like a five year old boy. 


He slowly wrapped his arms around Helblindi’s shaking shoulders and patted him on the back, at a loss for words. He realized at that moment that they hadn’t hugged in a very long time, and he actually missed this warmth. He let it envelope him and he closed his eyes, willing himself not to cry. 


He realized that they had been pretending to be ok for far too long. Two lost boys who had nothing left but each other. And when Loki was the one who'd been afraid that life could always get worse at anytime, he'd pretended that there was nothing wrong with the way Helblindi was slowly turning into an addict. He didn’t stop his brother. He was afraid to lose what little he'd had.  


“Hel…,” Loki said, “You need help. You have to go.” 


It felt like liberation, as if a mountain had been lifted off his shoulders. 


Thor’s eyes met his. He was hunching, wincing, and the woman was fussing over him as Loki saw a bloodied shard of glass being pulled from Thor’s back, but he had his eyes trained on Loki the whole time. Then he gave the younger man an apologetic smile. 


Was it his plan all along? Loki wondered. Did he say it to make Hel give up fighting? Did he do it for me? 


He kept staring at Thor, confused, mind puzzling over what just happened. Even though he couldn’t forgive the other man for what he did to him, he realized he didn’t have the heart to yell at him right now, especially when Thor’s expression was more pained than victorious. 


He would get his answer, but for now, he was grateful that it was over. 











Chapter Text

 Six Months Earlier… 


Helblindi punched the well-worn bag left and right and it whined pitifully hanging from a rusty hook. He hit it harder as the faces of those scumbags who cheated him at the underground poker table popped up in his mind. He knew it. He knew he shouldn’t have agreed to play with those bratki. He should have known that they cheat.  


He sent punch after punch into the bag in loud, heavy thuds, letting out his anger. Loki’s gonna kill me. He thought. Two grand gone. But this is like the stock market and I've got insider info which means tomorrow’s going to be different. 


He slammed both of his fists into the punching bag repeatedly and punctuated each jab with a shouted, "Fuck!" 


“Hey! If you fucking break that bag, you'll pay!” Martinez, the burly but short gym owner, shouted from his office. 


“Fuck.” Helblindi muttered but he stopped, his chest heaving as he gasped for breath. He was wearing a sleeveless tee, and on his left arm was a tattoo—three thin circular lines in dark-blue that wore themselves around his bicep, a pair of blue jeans, and an old pair of sneakers. His brother left for class and he came here to the gym. When Loki looked at him this morning with his piercing green eyes, he thought that his brother knew what happened the night before. 


Loki always looked at him like he knew what kind of dirt Helblindi was hiding under the rug, and sometimes he felt like his little brother just waited for the right moment to pull it from under his feet. But he didn’t. Sometimes he thought that he didn’t deserve this brother, and Loki was taking a lot on his shoulders for a boy his age. He was just a college student, for fuck’s sake. Helblindi cursed himself, but whenever he entered a gambling house, a basement with a poker game, or a casino, he just simply forgot.  You’re an asshole. Helblindi thought, resignedly.  Yes, I’m an asshole, but beating myself up won’t help. 


He walked over to a bench to cool off, still with his gloves on. He needed to hit something or someone. He needed to know that he could still do it. Helblindi started his mantra: I'm still strong … I am strong. 


The door opened and a man he never saw before walked into the gym. A white guy around Helblindi’s age. He would have been called a princess with that long golden hair tied into a ponytail if not for the beard and an intense scowl on his face, as if he came in here looking for something to hit with all the pent-up rage in the world. Helblindi knew that expression. The newcomer was tall and ripped, his forearms bulging from under the tee. Helblindi was one of the tallest men in the gym, standing at 6’3”, and this guy was eye to eye with him. 


Martinez came out of the office and he looked particularly friendly when he noticed the expensive watch on the new customer’s wrist. Other than that, the man dressed down to Earth, with a plain white tee and dark jeans, and a backpack slung across his shoulder. Helblindi saw him pay for his gym membership in cash. Martinez was instantly taken, giving the guy a good handshake. Then, he called his trainer, Ruiz, who was instructing another boxer in the ring, and told him to make room for the new guy within the next ten minutes. 


The new guy walked over to where Helblindi sat and gave him a look before disappearing into the locker room. A minute later he walked out in a pair of black trunks and a Jersey.  The guy started punching the same sand bag Helblindi had worked at earlier and making loud, heavy thuds which spoke volume about how heavy those hits were. It was impressive. Helblindi shouldered his sweaty, dark hair from his forehead as he watched and took in how fluid the guy moved. He was obviously no newbie. 


After the warm up, blondie started walking towards the ring and jumped in. He greeted Ruiz and his manner took well with the middle-aged trainer. They talked briefly and Ruiz spoke up, “Anyone want to fight Thor here?” 


Helblindi raised his hand. There were two other men who volunteered. So, this Thor looked around, and his eyes landed on Helblindi.  “I’ll fight that one.” He said with a rumbling voice as he pointed at the brunet with his chin. 


Helblidi jumped up from the bench, grinning. This is going to be fun.




They sparred for about 15 minutes when Ruiz called time and then they stopped. Needing to cool down, they both pulled off their gloves as they went to sit on the same bench.  The air was heavy with sweat and stinks, but Helblindi felt much better.The trainer brought over a couple of white terry cloth towels and handed them to the men before slapping them on their backs and saying, "Good bout, Guys." 


After Ruiz left them alone Helblindi extended his hand and said, "The name's Helblindi."  


The blond clasped the offered hand and gave a firm shake.“I’m Thor.” 


“That was a good match, man.” Helblindi grinned as he picked up his towel, tossing it over the back of his neck before grabbing the two ends with his hands. 


“Thanks.” Thor said as he dabbed at the sweat on his brow with his own. 


“It’s great to let off a little steam, isn’t it?” 


Thor smiled. “Yeah.” 


Afterward, Thor usually showed up at the gym at least once or twice a week, but there were periods where he didn’t come in for a month. When he came back he would train solo, or sometimes with Ruiz, but he’d always box with Helblindi. 


One day Thor asked him. “Can you do a mixed martial art or close quarter combat?”


“Not really. But I can try.” 


“I can teach you.” Thor offered. 


For the following month, Helblindi was having a great time learning new techniques in kicking ass. 


By the third month, he learned that Thor had served in a military.


“Man, seriously, you don’t look like you’re from this area or this life at all! And wearing that…" he pointed at Thor’s watch. “Omega? You don’t wear that stuff around here and not worry about getting mugged.” 


“They can try.” Thor smirked. “I know it’s a bit of a show-off, but sometimes one's got to do it. Money tends to create a strong first impression.” 


“Haha.” Helblindi laughed. “You sound just like my brother.” 


So, they boxed and talked a bit between the break and though Thor wasn’t an overly talkative guy, he was likable. Actually, within the first month everyone in the gym felt like he had been there for a long time, and he always greeted each one of them on his way in and out. He looked like someone from a different class of society, carrying himself with confidence and instead of these men wanting to attack him, they wanted to befriend him. It was such a rare treat these days when people acted like as if someone was out there to get them.


On the sixth month since they'd become boxing buddies, Thor brought beer in when people at the gym decided to watch a big match that was being broadcast from Vegas, together. It was a Sunday evening and it was Ruiz’s idea to watch it at the gym. Martinez disappeared into his office to do some ‘business calls’. Helblindi got up and followed Martinez, as he closed the door he caught a glance from Thor who was sipping a beer. 


When Helblindi returned to his seat, Thor didn’t shy away from asking. “What was that about?” 


“An investment.” He shrugged, tipping the beer bottle against his lips. 


Thor chuckled. 


Helblindi lost that night and Thor bought him a few more beers at an Irish bar after they left the gym.  


“Man…that sucked. Totally sucked.” Helblindi whined. “Loki’s going to kill me!” 


“Who’s Loki?” Thor asked. “Your boyfriend?” 


That made him burst out laughing. “Do I look like I suck dicks? Loki’s my brother. Still in college. Smart as hell. You don’t want to mess with him, man. That little bastard’s doing law.” 


“Is that a bad thing?” Thor asked. 


“Well, not actually, though he said he’s going to sue me someday.” Helblindi laughed, drunken and amused at his little brother’s threats. “He’s the youngest, but surely is the smartest…thin as a stick, but he can pack a punch when he spits at you.” 


“Sounds like a dangerous little thing.” Thor chuckled. 


“Haha, you sound like you’re having a crush.” Helblindi narrowed his eyes. “You suck dicks?” 


“Does he?” 


Helblindi shrugged. “Loki has no life, as far as I know. He has his nose up the books, not pubes. Works his ass off for the money, like…like he’s starving. Let me show you how scrawny he is. I told him to box…” Helblindi searched for his pocket and pulled out a well-worn, folded, black leather wallet which belonged to his father. He opened it and pulled out a photo, pointing at the subjects. “This is me, this is my dad…this is Byleister, my second brother and this is Loki.”  


Thor looked at the tip of the finger and saw a slender boy with the complexion of fresh snow. He had round, soulful green eyes that held so much depth that you could get lost in them, even from a photo.  His face was delicate and young, with thin lips that curled inward at the corners like they were holding secrets.  


“Yeah. The little one is acting like the oldest.” 


“You’re fond of him.” Thor smiled. 


“When he’s not sneering at me or calling me a dimwit, yes.” Helblindi chuckled.  


The condensation that pooled at the bottom of the bottle trickled and skittered near the photo. Thor picked it up and put it back in Helblindi’s hand. “It must be great to have brothers.” 


“Oh, hahaha, the grass is always greener, isn't it?” Helblidin leant closer. “I know you don’t talk much, but it’s been six months since we know each other. So, who are you? Do you have any brothers or sisters?”


“No,” Thor cradled the bottle, eyes down. “I’m the only child.”


“What happened that a boy like you ended up in this part of the city?”


Thor looked, amused, at his new friend. “You like asking questions, don’t you?”


“Well, my brother’s not the only one in the family who’s got the brain.” Helblindi shrugged and acted smug, which made Thor laugh.


“You sound close to each other.”


Helblindi’s face fell. “I think that he just put up with me and he’d better be without me.”


“Why do you say that?” Thor frowned.  


“I’m sure that’s what he thinks.” Helblindi tipped his head, resting it against the chair. “And he'd be right. He has a bright, better future ahead of him and I'm only dragging him down.” He sighed, face solemn.  “It’s been really hard for us. It’s just me and him now.”


The music in the bar went quiet for a moment, then ‘Where The Streets Have No Name’ started playing from the jukebox. It was still early and the band didn’t start playing until after 9pm. Helblindi eyed the ceiling, knowing that he shouldn’t whine about his family tragedy, because it wasn’t what guys talk about. Guys just don’t vent. At least not in words. But perhaps it was the alcohol that made his tongue lose and for some reasons, he felt that Thor wouldn’t judge him for being a loser like this.


“What happened?” Thor crossed his arms on the table. “If you don’t want to talk about it, it’s fine.”


“Do you have all night?” Helblindi asked jokingly.


He told Thor about how his father had a breakdown after he lost his wife. Thor had a pained look on his face, and he simply said he knew how that felt. He’d lost his mother a few years earlier, followed by a major fallout with his father.


“Wait, you said he disowned you?” Helblindi asked. “What does that mean?”


“We worked together. He fired me after we fought about---“ Thor hesitated. “We fought over a family business.”


“He’s the kind of a dickish dad who punished you when you don’t do what he says, right?” Helblindi said. “No offense, because my dad isn’t exactly the Dad of the Year material either, but sometimes I thought he’d better be crazy rather than demanding and bossing us around.”


Thor smiled sadly. “He’s a great father, but he was a changed man after the-- the loss. But yes, he cut me lose. I had to build everything again from the scratch.”


“That sucks.”


“It’s fine.” Thor said with an unusual calm voice, as if he was numb. “It couldn’t be as bad as your situation.”


“I don’t know, man. We’re broke.”


 “What happened?”


Helblindi’s stomach growled. It was too shameful to say it aloud, so he gave his new friend a partial truth. “Law school is expensive. I don’t have a full-time job, and sometimes I borrowed from people I shouldn’t associate with. I—I ugh…gamble sometimes. I meant we put the money in small bets and I won many times, then we have enough to go by. But that’s all I do! I don’t drink—more than socially-- or do drugs because I know I’m shitty enough with my jobs…I meant…” He knew he started to stammer. Sorry, Lo.


Thor looked at him, considering for a moment. “Is there anything I can help you with?” 


Helblindi shot up and turned to face Thor, eyes bright with renewed hope.  “You’re going to help me?” 


“If that helps you to get back on your feet, yeah.” Thor said. “But I don’t usually do this, so we need to spell it all out on paper.” 


“It’s going to be all right!”Helblindi smiled with all of his teeth showing and then pulled Thor’s face close, giving him a loud smack on the bearded cheek. “Mwha! You’re my savior, man!” He then laughed at Thor’s stunned expression.


If there was one thing Helblind should have known better, it was the fact that often times people picked up after their parents whether they realize it or like it or not.



Chapter Text

Thank you Arcadii for the awesome beta as always!



Collateral damage:  the poor old dining table that they'd gotten from a thrift shop was broken down the middle where Helblindi had slammed Thor down. Fandral and Volstagg, the clean-up crew, were wiping the grime off of the wood and carrying the black bags with all of the food and junk out to the dumpster. 


Loki had a strange feeling and was full of doubt as he saw Thor’s bleeding back when he stripped off his t-shirt in the bathroom.   He then turned and placed his hand on the sink so that Sif could pour alcohol over the cut and place a bandage over it. Their conversation was quiet, but he could still hear their whispers. 


“I’ve told you, Thor. This is a bad idea.” 


“But you’re here nonetheless.”  


“I don’t know why you’re so invested in these people.”  Wow, someone was being judgmental, Loki thought and he instantly disliked the woman. “I know the drill, but why? Isn’t your life miserable enough as it is?” 


“I’m NOT miserable.”  

“Ok, you’re being a masochist, then.” She said. “But I did warn you.” 


“Yeah, yeah.” Thor smiled a warm, gentle smile. It almost took Loki by surprise how it softened the edges of the man whose face had shown nothing but scowls and rage at him earlier. And hunger.  Loki dismissed the thought as Thor said. “Thank you for having my back.” 


Sif let out a long, suffering sigh and continued working on the wound wordlessly. Loki could see how she acted like someone whose anger had magically vanished once the dog that had chewed off her shoes gave her hand a gentle lick. 


Is she involved with him? He wondered. Then quickly crushed the thought, telling himself that it was none of his business. 


He trained his eyes on the problem sitting across from him.  Helblindi was holding his head in one hand as if someone had hammered his skull. His arm was intact, but it would be a few days before he could lift it to fight again.  


"Sif will take you to the facility and help you check in," Thor said as he walked back into the living room.  He put his leather jacket on. “Everything is taken care of.” Loki didn’t miss the way Thor said in an assuring voice, looking from Loki to Helblindi. “Just do your best and get out of it as fast as possible.” 



The older brunet still looked as if someone had hammered his head and forced him to swallow a whole raw lime, or perhaps half a dozen raw limes, but the anger seemed to shave away from his features. He looked…resigned and much older than his actual years. 


“It’s a very good rehab treatment center, with a lot of celebrities as patients, and it's only a few hours drive from here. We can visit you anytime,” Thor said and Loki shot him a glare at the word ‘we’. “You’ll get the best therapists and psychologists and there's a gym and a lot of other activities to keep you occupied.  Six month will fly by ... if you co-operate.” 


“Shut up…” Helblindi sighed.  


“The quicker you recover, the faster you can get out.” Thor said. “It’s not a prison.” 


Six months, Loki’s heart sank. It wasn’t that long, still he couldn’t help feeling afraid for his brother and himself.  But this was no time to mourn, not even to linger. He realized for the first time what the expression, ripping the Band-Aid off really meant. 


“I’ll pack.” Loki rose and walked into Helblindi’s bedroom. 


Clothes were scattered everywhere. Loki rummaged through the closet, pulling out a few dark colored t-shirts, jeans, and then from a drawer all of the well-worn underwear and socks. Helblindi would also need his scarf and sweater because he’d stay over the autumn going into winter.


Helblindi was on his feet, and Volstagg took the bag from Loki when he walked back into the living room.  


“Is it necessary to have four people escort me to the damn place?” Helblindi asked, eyeing the four people-- Volstagg, Fandral, Hogun and Sif, who were encircling him as his undisguised guards. 


Fandral gave him a cheeky smile, one hand tucked inside his leather jacket. “It’s no problem, bro. I love a road trip.” Loki imagined how the blond might be toying with the duct tape and wires inside those hidden pockets. 


“Trust me, you’ll be grateful that Sif is there.” Thor got another glare from his dark-haired lady friend. Loki decided then that he had quite a thick skin. “You’re in good hands.” 


“You.” Helblidni pointed his finger in Thor’s face. “Don’t think it’s done between you and I.” 


“I’m all ears.” Thor said, his words light but there was a strain in his voice. “Or ready for a rematch.” 


“Yes.” The dark-haired man growled. “I expect you to show up at the rehab facility and to not run away when I’m out.” Then he turned towards Loki. “I’ll be back as soon as I can.” 


Loki hesitated for a moment, then he gave his older brother a hug. “You have to come home.” 


Helblindi wrapped his arms around Loki’s slim shoulders. “I will.”  


Loki sniffled as he tightened his arms. “You're all I've got, you have to come back.” 


“Loki,” Helblindi tried to stop another tear from escaping his eyes. “I’ll be back. I promise.” 


“Don’t run and…don’t disappear on me. Don’t die.” 


“Nonsense!” Helblindi chuckled, his chest tightened at how Loki appeared to be genuinely afraid to let him go and he realized how much of a bastard he'd been when he ran off to the casino instead of being with his brother. “I’ll be back before you and Jorgy can miss me!” 


“Just call if you want to talk…or if you need anything…” Loki’s body was shaking. 


There again, Helblindi thought. Still trying to take care of me. 


He pulled back and placed a kiss on Loki’s forehead. “I’ll miss you, little brother.” Then he took a step back. 


This isn’t a final goodbye. Loki told himself, but he couldn’t help feeling weak.  


The group started to leave, with Helblindi in the middle, followed by Hogun and Fandral. Loki’s eyes were glued to Helblindi’s broad back as he was half way out of the door. His eyes burned from the tears, and they were still fixed on the wooden door as it closed. 


He stood there, feeling relieved and yet numb. He didn’t know how long he stood there until Thor cleared his throat.  

“Are you ok?” 


Loki turned towards the bigger man. He had completely forgotten that Thor was still in his apartment. 


“Why are you still here?” 


“I wanted to talk with you.” 


“I don’t want to talk to you!” Loki snarled. 


Thor approached him and Loki involuntarily took a step back. That seemed to stop Thor and he cleared his throat again. “I would like to apologize…” 




“I’m sorry that I hurt you.” 


“You didn’t look sorry when you did it.” Loki retorted. 


“That’s because I’ve wanted you.” Thor took another step closer and this time Loki didn’t back away. “I was angry, but I wanted you.” 


“I told you I didn’t know anything about the money,” Loki spat out, “But you didn’t listen…” 


Loki didn’t flinch when Thor’s warm hand touched his face.  


“I can’t erase what I’ve done to you, but I meant it when I said I couldn’t stop thinking about you.” Another hand touched the other side of his face and they were warm. Gentle. Not rough like when they first touched him. “I wish you would accept my apology. Even if it’s not now, just know that I meant every word I said.” 


“Did you mean it too when you threatened to kill us?” Loki narrowed his eyes, his guts still churning as he thought about those words. “When you threatened to take Jormungandr away from me?” 


“I hoped that it would stop you from fighting.” Thor said. “I was furious because I thought you both cheated me, and Hel broke my trust.” 

“So you took it out on me!” Loki shouted. 


“I’m sorry, Loki.” Anguish was written all over Thor’s face and for once, Loki believed him. But still… 


“It’s easy to say.” Loki turned his face away.  


“I will rectify it as best as I can.” Thor caressed his cheek and the younger man couldn’t help the light shiver that ran through his body. “If you let me.” 


“Big words, but I heard what you said to your girlfriend in there.”  Loki sneered humorlessly and stared at the blond as fierce as he could. “I’m not your toy. I’m not a thing to be played with and  thrown away once you’re done.” 


Thor’s eyebrows knitted together. “You don’t realize how beautiful you are, do you?” 


Loki’s face heated up, and he hated himself for his lack of self-control. “Flattery is for women.” 


“And for you.” Thor smiled. “You want the truth?” He inched closer and Loki leant back until he was pressed hard against the wall. Thor’s arms flanked his head, his face just a few inches away from Loki’s. His body was radiating heat; his breath was ghosting over Loki’s face. The younger man inhaled the scent of coffee, musk, oak and rain.  

“The truth is I’ve wanted you from the moment I saw you. You walked in there where my men stood around you, and you held your head high even though I saw how your eyes were wide and afraid. I knew right then that you’ve got a fighter’s soul in you. I know that look, Loki. You want to fight the world and rule it, not the other way around.”  


Loki’s breath hitched in his throat, his heart racing hearing Thor’s words.  


Thor’s lips brushed against his ear. “But deep down you want to know that it’s all right to be crumbled. You’re tired of fighting, but you can’t stop. It’s because you want to live not in fear, but in the knowledge that you can take anything and still stand.” 


The younger man gasped. Those words were like a revelation that Thor had pulled from his heart and laid it out in the open, sending a spark that lit a fire in his being.  


“I know that you want to feel safe while you dance around chaos.” Thor’s beard tickled against his jaw, then his lips caressed at his pulse point and Loki shuddered. “Is that it?” 


“N—no,” he stuttered. 


“No?” Thor whispered, dipping his nose down at the crook of Loki’s neck and inhaling deep. His hands dropped from the wall, placed on the small of Loki’s back and pulled him closer. Realizing what the older man was doing, Loki moved, craning his neck away, but it just gave Thor more of an  opening to take in another whiff. He felt Thor shudder against him too.  


Loki’s hand flew and gripped Thor’s t-shirt at the chest, and Thor’s hand flew to cup the nape of his neck. They stared at each other, blue eyes meeting green in a moment, then Thor was pulling him in for a kiss.  


He remembered how Thor had kissed him the first time, and it wasn’t less greedy. Thor was sucking his upper lip a few times in small kisses, then the lower one before pulling back with a loud pop. Loki let out a shaky breath, but Thor thrust his tongue and silenced him again. Thor’s other hand slid down along his spine, making him shiver, until it rested on his ass. Loki stiffened and yanked his face away, prompting Thor to pull back with a questioning look. 


“Touch me and I’ll bite off your tongue.” Loki hissed. 


Thor growled and wound his fingers in Loki’s hair, pulling his head back, exposing the long, pale neck. “You can try.” He gave a long lick, eliciting a soft whimper from the younger man, and claimed his lips with tongue and teeth.  


Loki was hard. When Thor pressed in, he felt another erection against his and this time an audible moan escaped his lips. 


“That’s it...” Came a throaty groan. “Give me that sound again…” Thor rolled his hips up, and Loki heard himself gasp aloud involuntarily. Thor did it again, and again, whispering into his ear, good boy, thrusting up and down in languid motions. 


They were grinding against each other like this for Loki didn’t know how long when there was a loud bang at the door. 


Thor turned to look at the door with a dark, annoyed look on his face. It took Loki a moment to register that someone was knocking at the door, repeatedly.  Even if he was still dazed by the high of arousal, he quickly went to pulled it open. It was his landlady. 


“Hey!” He greeted the short but slender middle-aged woman who lived on the upper floor of the building. She was wearing her flowery shirt that looked like it was from the 70s, her hair loose and wild. “Hello, Mrs. Doyle. How are you?” 


“I got a call from your neighbor.” She said, face stern. “They said they heard a fight.” 


“There was no fight!” Loki lied.


“Is everything all right?” She asked, eyeing Thor suspiciously from behind her oversized eyeglasses as he stood behind Loki . 


The blond took a step forward and shook hands with the older woman. “I’m sorry for the trouble, Mrs. Doyle. I’m Loki’s cousin.” Loki’s head whipped around, eyes wide, looking at Thor who went on. “I just moved to town and we were trying to rearrange the place. I fell on my rear and Loki was yelling at me because I broke his belongings. I’m sorry for alarming the neighbors.” 


“Are you going to live here?” The landlady asked.  


“No. I have my own place to stay, but I’ll drop in to check on him sometimes. His older brother is out of town, if you’re wondering.” 


“He won’t be around here very often.” Loki cut in.  


“All right.” The landlady said. “I don’t like any trouble. If I get another report, then you know how it goes.” 


“Yes, ma'am.” Loki smiled the sweetest smile. “Sorry again for the noise.” 


Thor gave her a wide, toothy smile, too. 


Once she was gone, Loki ran his fingers through his hair, still facing the door. He had a blinding headache and needed a painkiller. Then he felt Thor pressing in on his back, and touching his upper arm. 


“No...” He spun around. “No...” 


Thor let his hand fall. “No?” 


“No. Now, get out!” 


Thor’s lips pressed into a tight line. “But you wanted it, too.” 


“No.” Loki said, and suddenly his anger flared inside him. “Or you can force me, if you want to.”  


Thor’s face darkened, his blue eyes dimmed as if a light had been turned off in his soul. Good. Loki thought. It hurts, doesn’t it? 


Thor’s hair was mussed, and Loki realized it must be because of him. He saw the bulge inside Thor’s trousers and how his full lips were still shiny and flushed from the kisses. This man who had threatened him with his life, violated him and crushed him, made him come until he almost blacked out and cried, was looking almost helpless now. It gave him a sense of satisfaction. 


It took the older man a moment to compose himself before his face turned stoic again. 


“Fine.” Thor reached inside his jacket and pulled out his cellphone. He slid hus tumb over the screen and Loki heard a ringing from inside his room. 


No surprise that Thor was calling him. No surprise he knew his number. 


“Is there anything else you don’t know about me?” Loki asked. 


“A lot.” Thor hung up, eyes stormy with dark clouds. “If you need anything, you have my number.” 


With that, Thor reached towards the door knob and made his exit. 


Loki waited 'til the heavy footsteps faded into silence. After a few moments he walked towards the windows and looked down, seeing the blond mop of hair at the black sedan. Thor looked up and their eyes met.  


Loki slinked back from the window. He walked into his bedroom and picked up his old phone. The numbers were glaring at him and he slid his thumb towards the ‘delete’ button. 


I’d better keep it….for the record. Loki mused. This could be of future use. This is Thor Abilgard's number. I could put it on the internet and he’ll get bombarded with freak calls…Or I can give it to the police. 


He put it back down on his desk, and ran the list of things he had to do in his head.  Life had to go on. Even though the apartment was so quiet, Loki couldn’t feel at ease for some reason. 


You want to feel safe while you dance around chaos. The words rang in his mind, the rumbling voice and the low whispering making him shiver ... Give me that sound again. 








Chapter Text


During the first week, things were really fine with Loki. He got a call from Helblindi, who told him that the rehab facilities were like a five-star resort, surrounded by hills, and there were a lot of pretty people around. A few days later he got another call from his brother that he’d had a couple of meditation sessions with two visiting monks. He fell asleep, though, during the first session and that got him a whack in the back with a paddle. 
“I told him, ‘isn’t this religion about non-violence!?’ so he made me sit for another 15 minutes when everyone else went to dinner!” 
“Well, I heard that it’s great for your brainwaves,” Loki said. “It will really do you good, Hel.” 
“It is doing me good ... it makes me sleepy.” Hel chirped, and that warmed Loki’s heart. Then Helblindi told Loki, “I’ve only got about another 5 minutes to talk before I have to hang up and join my yoga class. 
“Seriously?” Loki mock-frowned out of habit. “Now I wish I was the one who got to be there.” 
“No, no, no, Bro. You’d ruin the peace by sitting here and watching them like a hawk. This is no place for you. It’s not the kind of environment you’d thrive in. They try to tranquilize everyone.” He whispered as if someone would overhear or eavesdrop. 
Right before the conversation ended, Helblindi was quiet for a moment, hesitant, and then he asked, “I know you’re busy with your studies and everything, but do you think you could make it to the family session sometime?” 
Loki bit his lips. “My schedule is so packed, but I’ll see what I can do.” 
“Thanks, little brother.” Loki heard a clear, glass bell chime into the phone. “I gotta run now. Talk later?” 
“Of course. Bye, Hel.” 
Loki put down his cell on the reading desk before returning to his homework. 
He was relieved to hear that things were fine with Helblindi, but he knew that it would be a matter of time until a relapse kicked in. He must have faith in his brother, Loki knew, but past experience had taught him not to keep his hopes up. All he could do now for Helblindi and himself was to cross his fingers, and wish that things wouldn’t blow up in their faces again. 
Hope for the best, but plan for the worst, Loki reminded himself. He sorted his books, got rid of the excessive junk that had accumulated in the apartment, as well as throwing away all of the chips and beer that Helblindi had been hoarding. He had to do all of the chores by himself now which included all of the grocery shopping and lugging their dirty clothes to a Laundromat a few blocks away. He needed to work harder for the next six months because even though Helblindi might not be here to bleed their account dry or cause any more trouble, and there was one less mouth to feed, it also meant there would be less income. 
Now, Loki was ready for the new semester. Life was much easier when you had a routine. 
He woke up. He showered and ate. He went to class and to the library before coming home in the evenings to eat and take a nap.  Then he did his homework including all of the readings, notes, quotes, anecdotes, and then studying cases before heading off to work at 10pm.  When he got back home after getting off at 6am, he’d take another nap before waking up at 7.30 to prepare for class. Then it was another new day to start all over again. 
It was exhausting, but he had to make do. 
Loki lay on the couch staring emptily at a re-run of some comedy as Jormungandr coiled himself around him. He was too tired to register anything that was happening on the screen, but it was nice to hear human sounds. Loki held the snake's head in his hand, looking into his baby’s dark eyes, and he talked to him about his day. It was October after all, and the temperature started to drop, so they were wrapped up in an old quilt that had been made by his grandfather, warm and comfortable. He was dozing off at when the weather forecast reported a heavy rain and storm during the coming week. 
He still had a roof over his head, and he still had his snake. 
For now, everything was fine. 
It was fine until Loki found out that the majority of the books he had to use on an assignment were gone during the week that Thor happened, and there was a long waiting list.  He had completely forgotten about it when he had to pick up the phone and call everyone he knew to try and raise the money and then Thor had walked into his room… 
He felt himself shaking, angry, and his tears threatened to spill as he stood in front of the shelf. You’re such a failure! Loki mentally screamed at himself. 
He put the books on the recalling list, and went to look for the other textbooks to read in the meantime. He’d have to make an adjustment to his schedule and Loki felt a pain in his head just thinking about it. Loki put his head on the desk, willing the headache to disappear, and only startled when someone shook his shoulder, telling him that the library was closing. He had fallen asleep, Loki realized as he quickly gathered his notes and books into his backpack, muttering an apology to the waiting librarian who gave him an annoyed look. 
The pathway was dim in the evening as he left the building and headed towards the parking lot, trying to shake himself awake in the cool air, but his head still felt heavy. Loki wished he could take time off tonight’s shift, but that meant $50 less in his pocket and he needed every penny he could get. At least tomorrow was Saturday and he could sleep during the day before going to work in the evening. 
Once home, he popped a pill into his mouth.  It was just something that helped him focus a bit, and then he put on his jacket and helmet. Half way to his job, the storm hit. “Shit!” Loki muttered and wiped the helmet’s visor with his hand. He forgot to bring the raincoat with him, how stupid! As soon as the red light turned green, he sped up and tried to see through the rain as best as he could. The words that popped up in Loki’s mind was Murphey’s Law, and yet he hoped it wouldn’t get worse from here. 
“Sorry I’m late!” He cried out to his shift mate, a young man around Loki’s age, as he ran into the store. 
"You're soaking wet!" The guy stated. 


“I’ll clean it up,” Loki motioned to the puddles that he was leaving on the floor.  He then went to the bathroom to use some paper towels to dry off his work clothes and hair as best as he could. Still damp, the chill from the air-con in the store made him shiver as he walked out to the counter. 

"Looks like we're stormed in." His shift mate, Steve, said. 
"Yeah, I didn't know there would be a storm." 
"It's going to be like this for the whole week." 
Loki grimaced. "Damn!" 
"I'll clean the floor. Why don't you go grab something warm to drink?" Steve said. 
"No, I'll do it, Steve." Loki was taken aback with the generosity. 
"It's not a problem." The blond man smiled and went on to take care of the trails that Loki had left running into the store. 
Loki made a hot coffee for himself and thanked his co-worker later. 
The good thing about the storm was it kept people at home.  It stopped raining for an hour, then started again at 4am and continued non-stop. It made the store empty and quiet, nice and cold. Loki started to get blurry eyes from sleepiness, and he rubbed his arm when a shiver ran down his body. His head started to swim when he tried to keep his eyes open. 
So, he went to splash some water on his face, wetting his hair and the neckline of his uniform. Then he grabbed the chart board to check the store inventory even if he just did it a few nights ago. 
As he was checking the coffee and tea aisle, he heard the electronic chime that went off when a customer came in the door. Looking up from the sheet, he listened to see if there was anything that could be alarming. All employees, especially the night staff like Loki, were trained to catch any potential threats and how to act when they happened. He felt safe in ignoring the interruption from the way his co-worker was saying a long, loud ‘hiiiiiii’; he knew it was nothing to worry about. 
Loki was kneeling and checking the store-brand coffees on the lower shelf when he heard footsteps coming his way, and then they stopped beside him. 
His eyes traveled up the long leg clad in black, past the strong thigh, and still farther up ‘til his eyes met Thor’s.  


At first he thought it was a hallucination. Thor was wearing dark pants, a gray t-shirt and a jet black blazer, making his blond hair nearly glow. He was, however, staring at a coffee jar as if it held very important information, and as if he hadn’t noticed that Loki was kneeling right there next to him. 
“Is this the only fair-trade brand available?” Thor asked casually, eyes not leaving the coffee. 
It took the younger man a moment to answer. “No. There is this one too.” He stood up and reached towards the other jar and handed it to Thor. 
Thor was looking at him now, and then the jar. “Which one is better?” 
“I—I think this first one --but I, um, never drink them.” He stuttered, embarrassed. 
Of course, he didn’t know the answer because he never drank such an expensive brand of coffee. He could only afford the generic variety or whatever was on sale as long as it didn’t cost more than 5.99. 
Thor put down the second jar and held the first one which was the most expensive in the store, and then headed over to the dairy section. 
Loki stood dumb-founded. Instead of feeling cold fury, he felt almost relieved to see Thor. His heart picked up the speed, again, and he felt very warm all of a sudden. 
He followed Thor and saw that the blond was picking up a gallon of whole milk and walked to the beverage counter. He ordered a cup of hot fresh coffee with whole milk and 2 sugars, and paid. As soon as the clerk left to brew the drink for him, he walked back to Loki. 
“What are you doing?” Loki gave him a suspicious glare and kept his voice low so no one heard them. 
“Shopping.” Thor grinned. “And picking you up.” 
Loki blinked. “What?” 
“It’s raining.” 
“Are you stalking me?” 
“No.” Thor’s eyes were practically dancing as he looked at Loki. “You happen to work near where I work. Sometimes I work night shifts too, just around the corner.” 
“You will get cold from getting drenched from the storm. You don’t want to get sick and miss your classes or work, do you?” Thor cocked his head.
“That’s none of your concern.” Loki hissed and spun around to leave. 
“Your voice sounds nasally already.” Thor’s voice followed him. “I’ll wait at the magazines.” 
At 5:55 am it was time for Loki’s shift to end.  His clothes were still damp and he grimaced at the uncomfortable feeling, but the sour smell that clung to him made him feel even worse. 


He left the shop through the back door, but Thor was already waiting outside on the sidewalk. 
Loki stomped up to him. 
“What’s your game?” He growled the question, his voice raspy and muted by the rain. He couldn’t help seeing how Thor still glowed under the obscured light, and still looked like he was from a fucking Forbes cover in his casual but obviously expensive clothes--a stark contrast to Loki’s old t-shirt and jeans. 
“I’m not going to run with my tail between my legs like you wanted me to, Loki.” Thor said, his smile turned from amiable to near predatory in a blink of an eye. Then his eyes softened. “That’s why I’m here.” 
“Answer my question!” Loki yelled. 
Thor closed the distance between them and placed his warm hand on Loki’s face. “I’ve already told you. But now you’re shivering. Get in the car then we can talk.” His blue eyes seemed to pull Loki in. “Please.” 
Even if he hated to admit it, Loki knew Thor was right about him not wanting to get sick. The younger man pulled away. “All right.” 

Thor beamed as there was a beep from the slick black, full-size SUV in front of them. 
“Unbelievable,” Loki muttered as he climbed into the car. 
The engine thrummed into life beautifully when Thor turned the key, and he noticed the goose bumps on Loki’s arms. “It’ll take a moment to get warm. A sudden change in the temperature can make you sick.” 
“A sensor?” Loki looked at the state-of-the-art dashboard. “It has the brain just like it has the look,” His comment brought a low, rumbling chuckle from Thor. It made Loki turn to look at him and the crinkles around Thor’s eyes. 
"That's how you like it?" Thor asked, voice almost hushed. "Big, strong, and smart." 
He knew he blushed. "I'm talking about the car." 
“If you say so," Thor grinned. "It's a Tesla hybrid and as environmentally friendly as a car can be. You can plug it in or use with a solar unit." 
Loki knew that Thor was trying to lure him in with the information, but he said nothing while trying to calm his heart. Then he started to feel the warmth after Thor pulled the car away from the driveway. 
“What do you do?” He shot out the question once they were on the road. “I don’t think running a club for perverts can earn you this much and you were kicked out of your father's company.” 
 Loki watched Thor's expression. The older man smiled but it didn't reach his eyes. "So, you've done your research and wasted no time on the interrogation.” 
Seriously, Thor’s smiles and how he avoided Loki’s questions started to get on the younger man’s nerves. 
“That’s what you get when you keep pestering me.” Loki snorted and Thor let out a chuckle. 
“Well, the fiber optics under the Atlantic were damaged when the storm hit and I have to stay in the neighborhood for a while ... at least until things are settled. That means I’m going to be visiting your store quite often.” 
“This is stalking.” Loki said. “And you’re not answering my questions.” 
“It’ll take time to get to know me.” Thor glanced at him, his blue eyes twinkling playfully. Loki turned away. 
“I don’t need to get to know you.” He mumbled. 
Thor’s answer was just a pleased smile. Damn that face!, Loki thought as he kept his eyes fixed outside the windshield. 
The lights were blurry in the rain, and yet the leather Loki was sitting on was so soft, so warm. He leaned back, his eyes heavy. 
“Are you cold?” Thor asked, reaching behind him and pulling another jacket from the backseat to give it to Loki. 
“Thanks,” Loki murmured and draped it over himself. He felt the chill inside his core and knew that he could be getting sick by tomorrow. Thor gave him a worried look that Loki pretended not to see out of the corner of his eyes. His head lolled to the side towards the window. His eyelids became too heavy in the warmth of the car. The raindrops sounded comforting, and he heard his own name before drifting into sleep. 



He startled when a heavy hand landed on his shoulder, tensing up.


“Easy,” Thor’s face slowly came into view. “It’s me. We’ve arrived at your place.”


Loki blinked rapidly and realized the building that it was indeed the complex he lived in. He looked at his watch and it said 7am. Unbuckling, he was stopped by a slight squeeze on his forearm.


“Wait.” He frowned as Thor reached backward and handed him a brown bag with the stamp Jen & Benji’s. Loki grabbed it and then another bag was handed to him—with the logo of his store.


“Please don’t say no. You need the breakfast.” Thor said, his words tugging something close to an ache in Loki’s heart.


“Why do you care?” He asked, voice groggy and small.


Thor scrutinized him, his eyes focused on him, and they were close enough that he saw his own reflection in those blue orbs. Thor gave him a sad smile, and leaned in to kiss him.


It was light, gentle, just a firm press of the lips, and Loki’s lips moved on their own, parting, letting out a gasp. It was only a few seconds, and Loki heard his own heartbeat in his ears, loud enough that he feared Thor might hear it too. Thor pulled away, their lips producing a soft sound.


“Have some rest.” Thor’s breath was hot against his lips. “I’ll see you tonight.”


Loki wanted to protest, but his eyes darted downward and caught the bulge in Thor’s trousers. A sudden realization hit him, making his face hot. Thor wanted him and he was doing all these things to get closer to Loki, or to get into his pants. Does this mean I have power over him—even if it was just this-- just sex? Loki wondered.


Once inside his apartment, he hurriedly stripped off his clothes and threw them to the floor, walking naked into the hot shower. Scrubbing his body, he wondered what would happen if he had pressed in and licked those lips. Could he make Thor grunt and moan with need? Could he be denied until it became painful so that he would know how much he had hurt Loki? The mere thought of it brought a rush to Loki’s head and he couldn’t help a small smile. Thor wanted him and he came back. Loki kicked him out, and yet he came back for more.


He could hurt him with this.


Loki tried to ignore his own half-hard cock as he rubbed the soap all over his body. The memory of the fervent kisses flashed across his eyes and Loki’s hand involuntarily moved over to his groin. The simple cleaning task became leisure strokes from the tip to the base, slow and loose until his hand got slick and he needed more pressure, spurring his movements until he was tugging at himself furiously, fisting at the flushed, dusky pink crown, while the other hand reached further past his sacks…


Loki let out a gasp. It took him a few moments before he found the curious spot that Thor had made known to exist in his body. Only a minute later, he was soiling the bathroom tile with a long, loud moan.


After the shower, Loki cooled down from his own thoughts and rush. Once dressed, he walked into the kitchen to examine the bags Thor had given him. There were three casseroles and one sandwich, along with a cup of apple juice, a microwavable cup of onion soup, three energy bars, a bar of dark chocolate, and two bananas. He wondered what kind of lunch box Thor had had when he was a kid from the way he stuffed so many things into a bag like this.


And to no surprise, there was also the premium instant coffee Thor had picked up from the shop.


When he opened the lukewarm breakfast package, a rich aroma hit his nostrils. Loki hummed happily once he put the food in his mouth, and nearly purred with contentment the moment he finished all of it.


After the breakfast, he felt so much better and a bit sleepy, so Jormungandr’s terrarium clean up would have to wait. Loki rose and walked towards his bedroom, leaving an empty cup of coffee on the broken dining table.









Phew, this was longer than I intended and it contained a lot of details that would have been whacky without the help and input of my beta, Arcadii! (I think it could be easier writing about Asgard than how things work in a convenient store!).


Thor's clothes look like this.

The car (imagine it bigger, and no I don't get money from this).

The dashboard.


The soundtrack of this chapter is “A Boy With A Coin” by Iron and Wine.

A boy with a coin he crammed in his jeans
Then making a wish he tossed in the sea
Walked to a town that all of us burn
When God left the ground to circle the world

  ETA: JUICE: A Thorki Fanfiction Soundtrack on youtube! Enjoy! (It's still an on-going project because I've got 3 chapters to look for the songs to fill ;)).

( Don't miss the first vid; the clouds and the lightning storms are beautiful).


Chapter Text

He didn’t believe in fairy tales. The first time he heard one was when he was at a daycare. Some of the other kids fell asleep with the melodious voice of the teacher, but Loki stayed awake, staring at the young woman with his wide, green eyes, and asked her questions until she had to put down the book to explain to him that he should fall asleep.

When he was old enough to read by himself, he got his answer. They were stories with heroes, princes and princesses, sometimes with dragons and other animals. The heroes were always hurt by evil people or animals in the stories before they could be happy.

There was always justice in the stories, but by the time he turned twelve, he knew that things operated differently in reality.

And that was why people loved this kind of stories and continue to make one years after years.


Loki had stopped looking at him as if he was a vile sight, and he wondered if the younger man realized that.

For a week, he had picked him from his place, drove him to the store where he worked, dropped him off, went to his office, and came to pick Loki up when the shift ended. The storms got worsened by the second through the fourth nights, and yet Thor couldn’t be more thankful, because it gave him the chance to share the time and space with Loki.

Thor always sent him off with the breakfast and a kiss, and his heart hammered against his chest every time he saw him, seeing that beautiful, though resigned face. Loki looked aloof as he registered Thor’s presence, but he got in the car without argument.

His presence alone seemed to calm Thor down, make Thor feel less lonely. The intense lust was still there, but the familiarity between them seemed to put a rein on his impulse to push Loki down and take him in the car. Thor had contemplated doing so every night, and he knew that Loki knew it. His eyes always looked down, and Thor knew what the young man was looking at.

He liked it. But he also knew that Loki would fight him with tooth and nails or rather chew his own hand out than act as he wanted.

He admired Loki—his stubbornness that matched Thor’s own. He knew the outcome of the combination could be disastrous but the pull was too great. He admired Loki’s strength and sharp tongue. He was such a great kisser, too.

He wondered what Loki was thinking as he parted his lips and let Thor kiss him. Each day he would probe a little more, making the kiss last longer, wetter and deeper. With each kiss he felt how Loki’s resolve was crumbling and his heart hummed with joy.

On the sixth day, the tip of Loki’s tongue was touching his and it felt as if someone had put a taser gun on him, teasingly. He kissed him again to make sure and got the same response.

Thor cupped the younger man’s face in both hands, deepening the kiss, lips closing as their tongues swirled against each other.

He was pushing Loki back against the seat and Loki’s hand flew to grasp his shoulder, pulling him into the kiss, and Loki was licking at his lips until he heard a low, throaty groan and didn’t know which one of that it belonged to.

Thor pulled back, pressing his forehead against Loki’s. “You can’t expect me to stop if you kiss me like this, Loki.” It was too intimate, like lovers’. He was rock hard.

“I don’t…I don’t expect you to stop.” The younger man replied, his voice was different—a soft sigh tinged with desire.

Thor touched his face. “Are you sure?” He searched the green, hooded eyes.

Loki looked up at him through his thick eyelashes, looking nervous. “I just want to know…” He bit his lips.

“What?” Thor whispered. “What do you want to know, Loki?”

“Why are you doing this?” His voice was vulnerable. “Why me?”

Thor lifted his chin. “I’ve wanted you since the moment I saw your picture.” He confessed, running his thumb along those thin, kiss-bruised lips. “I want you.”

Loki looked down and up again. “Not here.” He unbuckled the seat belt. “Let’s go upstairs.”


They reached the apartment in a blink of an eye. The brown bags were dumped unceremoniously on the kitchen table, and Loki was shrugging off his own jacket as Thor turned around.

He stopped, though, when they were near the bedroom. Thor sensed his hesitancy, and he realized that it must have been something to do with his memory.

He walked up to the younger man and placed both arms on Loki’s shoulders, resting his face against the back of his head. “Loki, if you don’t want…”

He heard him suck in a breath, then Loki turned to face him. There was a look of determination in his eyes. “You’ll take your time with me, all right?”

Thor felt the smile split his face. “I will. I’ll take my time until you’ll beg me to take you.”

He did take his time. He took Loki’s shirt off, and lowered his knees down to unbutton his jeans as Loki stood by the bed. He grinned seeing that Loki was already hard, and he pulled the denim and the boxer down at the same time.

Loki let out a soft gasp when Thor took him in his hand, giving his long, shapely cock gentle strokes. Loki’s flesh nearly matched his in length, but was more slender and had the loveliest, flushed crown Thor had ever seen. The color deepened into a rosier shade as Loki let out a long moan when Thor stuck out his tongue to lick at the moist tip.

“You’ve ever had anyone do this for you?” Thor looked up and asked. “Sucking your cock?”

His blush looked lovely. “No.” Loki said. “Would you just shut up and do it?”

Thor couldn’t help a chuckle. “There’s a boss in the making here.” He wanted to actually say that he was glad to be the first person to give him head, but he knew that Loki wouldn’t appreciate it now.

Loki cried out as Thor swallowed him down in one go. Slender hand flew and gripped his hair, fingers curling around his strands as he pushed and pushed until that lovely cock head hit the back of his throat.

“Fuck…” He sounded wrecked and cried out again when Thor gulped, giving a constriction that he knew how wonderful it felt.

He pulled out almost completely until the tip was halfway off his lips, wetly suckling it a few times then dove in again.

A long, loud moan from above made him smile, and Thor alternated between deep throats and the play around the crown, circling his tongue while using his hand to stroke the length as he did so, his touch became slippery and Thor couldn’t resist taking a clear bead on his tongue. It lit his taste buds on fire and he hungrily took more, taking Loki deeper and sucking him until Thor’s cheeks hallowed. It was less than five minutes that Loki was spilling down his throat.

His knees wobbled and Thor held him. He rose to his feet and pushed Loki who fell back onto the mattress.

Thor took off his clothes and saw how Loki was watching him with heavy-lidded eyes as he revealed his naked body. He was rock-hard, but he wanted Loki to know that it was about his wish that Thor wanted to fulfill.

He parted those long, lean legs, the shins were dusted with light dark hairs, revealing the dusky pink hole Thor had dreamed of so many times since that day.

He took his time, even if his cock was achingly hard. He took his time to pour the lube on Loki, put in his finger, feeling how tight he was. Thor kissed the pale thigh while he probed, slowly opening him up. He pushed in all the way and looked for that sweet nub, then gently rubbed on it, twisting, using his knuckles to give Loki a rougher sensation, feeling how Loki shuddered and started moaning.

Then, Thor felt it. He felt how loosened up Loki became as he continued to turn his fingers around, now using three, stroking that tight canal, rubbing the spot, and it happened. Loki’s inner walls heated up and he felt so warm, sucking Thor’s fingers in even deeper and his hips were canting up as if wanting more.


Thor blinked and looked up at the younger man’s face. Loki was flushing from face to his neck and collar bone in the prettiest shade of pink. His lips were reddened and parting with gasps, lost in pleasure.

Loki called his name.

His name.

He felt his own erection leaking and straining against his belly, but he ignored it. Instead, he slid up and claimed Loki’s lips in a deep kiss.

And he went on like that, hungrily kissing Loki and rubbing him until his fingers got coated with Loki’s natural fluid. Thor’s heart nearly skipped a beat from the sensation. A deep groan erupted from his throat and flowed into Loki’s mouth because this was perfection. Every part of him swelled from the knowledge that he could make Loki writhe with pleasure like this. He rocked the younger man who threw his arms around Thor’s neck, clinging on him, his moans turned low and throaty as Thor sinuously pulling in and out.

Thor was cradling the dark head with one arm as he kissed Loki and fucked him with his fingers. His rhythm remained steady and firm even after several minutes, not slowing down or speeding up, not even when Loki’s moans became whimpers like he was about to cry and his whole body was flushed hot against Thor’s. Thor wanted to do nothing more than slamming himself into Loki until he was filled with Thor’s essence that would overflow from his body, claiming every inch of him. He let out a growl from the mental image and laced his lips on one nipple, and was rewarded when Loki’s muscles twitched and pressed down around his fingers the way a growler did.

“Thor…Thor…” The younger man sobbed helplessly, his nails digging into Thor’s meaty back. Thor moved up and kissed him, his hand moving, pressing, massaging. He was buried knuckles-deep and rolled his fingers faster and faster, his thumb rhythmically pressing on the perineum for added pleasure until Loki became incoherent. Thor drew Loki’s tongue into his mouth and sucked… and Loki yelled out a choked cry and convulsed.

Thor felt the pain on his back from where Loki’s nails dug into his flesh, and he couldn’t recognize his own voice. “Yes.” It was raw. “Come for me.”

Loki’s body arched off the bed, rigid, locked in an intense pleasure he had never experienced, head falling back, arms clutching around Thor, and his hole was gripping Thor like a vice. Thor kept moving until he heard a pleaded whimper, so he stilled his hand, holding Loki, and let the younger man ride it out.

He looked down at his hand, at the wetness that smeared across Loki’s chest, and he looked up at his face. Loki was heaving out shuddering breaths and when he opened his eyes, the eyelashes were wet.

“Are you all right, sweetheart?” Thor asked with a grin, his eyes taking in every detail on that wrecked, beautiful face.

Loki shuddered and weakly nodded before closing his eyes just as Thor leaned in to place a soft kiss on his cheek.


Loki didn’t protest when Thor pulled him into his embrace because he felt cold all of a sudden even though he was still gasping for breaths, tingling all over, his inside throbbing.

“You’re shivering.” Thor said and Loki answered with an unintelligible murmur.
Thor pulled him close and threw an arm around him, having Loki lay his head on his chest, one heavy leg covered Loki’s slimmer one. Strangely, it didn’t feel undesirable, and Loki let himself be held in Thor’s arms.

They just lay like that and Thor stroked the freckled shoulder and back. Loki felt that his brain had turned jelly at the moment, and he just soaked up the heat seeping from Thor without words.

The bigger man was still hard, and his long, thick cock was curving a little when looking from this angle. Loki debated with himself if he should return the favor, but his limps were too weak to move.

“I do an off-shore business,” Thor said all of a sudden and it puzzled Loki. Then, he remembered that Thor was answering his question from the other day. “The club is my physical office, and it’s enough to buy me that car.”

Loki looked up and their eyes met. “What kind of business?”

Thor looked away, seeming hesitant. “Something I’m not really proud of, but it helps me gain enough money to do what I really want to do.”

Loki frowned. “What is it?”

Thor stroked the pale shoulder. “I’ll tell you in time…I don’t know if it’ll come true, so I don’t want to say it just yet.”

Loki didn’t like not getting his answer, but he supposed he had to accept this one.

Besides, he had to wait for some of his scattered brain cells to come back to life.

“What happened to you?” He dropped his head and mumbled his curiosity. “You had everything a guy could ever dreamed of, but here you are.” In a small apartment, a small bed. With a broke student like me.

“It’s a long story…” Thor’s stare was far, far away, as if he remembered something.

He started telling Loki about his mother, how her death set the wheel turning. His father was a very powerful man, and Thor saw how the old man was taking a revenge on the people who had taken his wife away from him.

Thor closed his eyes. If we pull out, those people who had nothing to do with this will suffer!

His father’s answer made him feel cold. Let them suffer.

So Thor said he’d quit. He knew that it was a rash thing to say, or even childish. But his father didn’t only let him walk away. He cut Thor lose.

It hurt, losing your two parents at the same time. They hadn’t spoken since, and it had been five years.

Loki listened attentively, feeling how Thor’s words pulled at his heart, how it ached in response to the pain was visible in those blue eyes. He had stopped shivering from the cold of the aftershock from his orgasm, and was resting his head on Thor’s chest, listening to the tale and the strong heartbeats. Thor’s fingers were playing in his dark hair as he said those words in a calm voice. Loki recognized it all too well—the detachment, a self-defense mechanism.

"At least you had her–you had her love and legacy.” Loki whispered as if in a revelry. “You had known what a mother’s love was like and even if it’s painful to think of her now, it’s better than having nothing at all.”

Thor tightened his arms around Loki, remembering how Loki had lost his own mother before he could have had the chance to know her. The younger man closed his eyes for a moment.

“I'm sorry about your mother.” Thor's voice was soft, gentle. "Hel told me about your parents, and I know it must have been hard."

Loki mulled over Thor's words, seeing the parallel between them. "I've managed," he said.

"You have," Thor rubbed his nose into Loki's hair. "And I know you'd understand."

After a moment of shared silence, Thor started telling Loki about his friends, how they regrouped after going on their separate way since the dispatch. The men were old friends, and while Sif helped him out when he asked her too, she was still his father’s employee. So, all he heard from her was about the well-being of the old. She kept the business a strictly confidential, and he respected her for it.

He then told Loki how he recently heard of his father’s new assistant, a guy in his late thirty, just five years older than Thor, who seemed to be his substitute at the company, and that was what people said.

After hearing the news, he had left the office and drove very fast, not knowing where to go. He had felt lost and angry. He wanted to hit something, and saw a gym on a corner of the street he was driving by.

So he made a stop, and the rest was history.

“So…you’re saying that you made friend with my brother because he’s a simple dickhead?” Loki asked. “Thinking it’s better to befriend an addict rather than living with the sharks?”

Thor smiled, his eyes crinkled and he looked five years younger. “Hel said he loved you…except when you called him ‘a dimwit’.”

Loki rolled his eyes. “Now I know where the first impression came from.”

Thor pulled him closer. “Loki…” He cupped his face, and Loki looked away. “You are the best things that happened to me in years.”

Loki was struck with the sincerity of the words, what they meant, and he didn’t know what to say. “All right.”

Thor smiled and it didn’t get on Loki’s nerves like it used to, or should be.

“I admired how you stick together through thick and thin,” Thor said.

“I only try to make do with what I have.” Loki snorted.  “They say you can’t choose your family.”

Thor tipped the younger man’s chin and leaned in to give him a soft kiss, then whispered. “I chose you.”

Loki closed his eyes and let out a shuddering breath. For a moment he saw how Thor had just handed him a tool to dissect and peer into his heart, a vulnerable, fragile and destructible piece of flesh.

Their leisure kisses soon turned slippery, and Loki felt how his cock twitched as Thor’s hand landed on his buttock, giving it a firm squeeze. He was lying on top of Thor now, and their hardness were pressed against each other. Loki had never known he could get a third erection in the span of a few hours, and he wanted to know more, to find out more and feel more. He made a small protest sound, though, when Thor’s finger started touching his entrance, and Thor let out a growl, but he pulled away and stroke Loki up and down along his back.

Not yet. Loki grinned against Thor’s shoulder as they languidly slid against each other. Not yet.


A/N: I hope that was worth the wait! I should have warned you guys about filthy smut. *grins* I think I wouldn’t be able to write a better love scene than this. And yes, I felt hot and sad writing this chapter, which was a weird combination. So, I'd really LOVE to hear how you feel.

This song:
Lethean Tears by Solutions 45

has inspired this chapter after a few options that never seemed right, hence the long wait after chapter 10, and you can blame the feels on this ballad.

Thank you so much for your love. You are the best readers in the world. I hope you know how much I love you guys with this chapter.

Last but not least: this.

Chapter Text

Loki woke up to the sweet, buttery smell that was permeating the air. He opened his eyes to see an empty, rumpled spot, the pillow that bore the dent, and rose to his feet. The door to his bed room was left ajar, and he followed the trail of the scent to the source.

Thor had his back towards the door. He was dressed in only the pants; his hand busied cooking. The older man smiled at Loki who peered over. He was making pancakes and Loki's stomach growled at the sight and the smell. Something tugged at his heart seeing Thor working at the stove, and while Thor was preparing the breakfast, he went to check Jormungandr and changed his water.

They had the breakfast and sneaked glances at each other. The light that filtered through the windows made Thor’s skin glow, and Loki’s eyes couldn’t leave the broad plane of his chest, how the fine hair glistened in the light. There were light bruises on Thor’s neck, and he didn’t realize that he had left those marks on that golden skin. Suddenly, his throat was parched. Blond hair was let loose and they fell on Thor’s shoulders like spun silk, and Loki wanted to card his fingers through them.

After a few moments, the room’s temperature seemed to change, charged with an undercurrent. Loki put down the orange juice glass and Thor was wiping his lips with the paper towel, eyes fixating on Loki, knowing.
The next moment, Loki was pulled into Thor’s lap. The orange and butter didn’t taste sour, and he licked every last trace of them from Thor's mouth.

He couldn’t concentrate on his study, his mind always drifting to the dawn and the morning. The thoughts and images kept replaying in the front of his mind’s eyes and they were making it hard to focus. It was uncomfortable sitting through a contract lecture in the jeans that felt too tight.

His phone vibrated and he smiled seeing that it was Thor. It was a simple How are you? How’s the class? And he typed back: I’m fine. Class is difficult. I’m having a raging hard-on.

He smirked pressing the send button, hoping that this would distract Thor and made his day a little bit difficult.

Another vibration and Loki looked down on his phone. Naughty boy. Focus. Or should I spank you?

Loki bit down on his lips. He typed the reply. Maybe I need that.

Another vibration, and before he could look, the professor called his name and Loki ducked his head, hiding his grin as he quickly typed: Talk later and turned off his phone.

Two months later.

A week before the family visit, Helblindi gave him a call to remind him that the visit was coming up. Loki had totally forgotten about the conversation they had, and so when Thor showed up at the apartment in the evening with a dinner before Loki headed out to work, he brought the subject up.

“I can drive you there,” Thor said. “We’ll be back in the night and you’ll skip just a shift.”

“You think it’s a good idea?” Loki asked. “I don’t want you to get murdered on the spot.”

Thor chuckled and shook his head. “I think that Hel has learned to control his impulses better, but thank you for your concern.” The blue eyes twinkled.
Ah, he’s got his eyes and ears there all right. Loki thought and looked away, knowing how his cheeks warmed.

“All right!” Thor clasped his hands, sounding like an excited boy. “Let’s prepare for the road trip!”


The facility was truly beautiful and luxurious. They stepped out of Thor’s Tesla and Loki noticed that the parking space was full of expensive cars.
They strode towards the reception hall, and Loki looked around, seeing many beautifully dressed people and if he didn’t know better, he would have thought this was a tropical resort rather than a rehab institution.

Thor had chosen a great place for Hel. He only hoped his brother would make the most of it.

They were led towards the hall and he spotted Helblindi from afar. He strode towards the tall figure, calling out his name, and the elder brother turned around and threw his arms around his brother.

It had been two months he hadn’t seen him, and Loki felt relief washed over him.

“Loki,” Helblindi tightened his hug. “So good to see you, bro!”

“Me too.” Loki smiled through the tears on the corners of his eyes.

Thor hung back and when Helblindi’s green eyes caught his, he gave him a nod, which Hel returned with a hard glare.

The announcement boomed from the microphone that the session was about to start and carry on towards the noon, then they would have lunch and free afternoon until the evening.

Helblind sat straight with arms across his chest, and Loki turned around, looking for Thor, but the man was nowhere in sight.

At lunch break, Loki fetched the phone and saw the message that Thor was waiting for him at the coffee shop. He was grateful that he had an alone time with Hel, because the last thing he wanted was for the two to start beating each other up in the middle of the rehab. He didn’t notice how Helblindi was scrutinizing at him from across the table.

They were seated in the restaurant with 180 degree glass walls so the diners could see the mountain views all around. The place was filled with guests and the clients, and they were waiting for the attendants.

“You’re fucking him?”

Loki paused and glanced up from the screen, frowning. “Excuse me?”

“You glow.” Helblindi snorted and shook his head. “You fucking glow.”

Loki put the phone back into his black leather jacket. “My sex life is none of your business, Hel.”

Helblindi started cutting up his steak, snorting again. “Sex life, I see. I don’t know, man. It’s just weird. The last time I saw you you were screaming murder at him. And now you’re with him.”

“I’m not with him!” Loki blurted out.

“You’re not?” Helblindi chewed the meat and quickly swallowed. “So what is it? You came here with him, and let me guess, in his fancy solar car? Don't tell me you fell for that shit."

“Hel,” Loki’s voice dripped a warning. “I’m not coming all the way here to talk about this.”

"About 'what'? What is 'this'? you don't want to talk about when it's so fucking obvious you and that piece of shit are acting like a fucking couples!" Hel raised his voice. "Do you think I'm blind or stupid, man?"

"No." Loki gritted his teeth. "But I can see you're still the same fucking crazy bastard you've always been."

A loud clang when Hel dropped his hands with the knife and fork on the plate. “Ok! Fine!” Then he seemed to remember something and started taking in a deep breath. “Breathe in. Out. In. Out.”

Loki watched as his brother did the mantra while taking in a long, deep breath, and releasing it repeatedly, and saw how his shoulders lost the tension, his face turned calm.

“Ok. I’m good.” Hel said after half a minute. “I’m just worried, Lo. Even though I’m an addict--one on the road to recovery, and I was the pain in your ass and you're happy that I'm out of your hair right now, I’m still your big brother. I have the right to worry about you.”

“There’s nothing to worry about.” Loki said, forgetting his plate, feeling defensive all of a sudden. “And I'm not happy that you're here, Hel. That's not fair."

Both men went silent.

“So how’s life? How’s Jorgy?” Hel talked again after a few minutes.

Loki told his brother briefly about the snake and his class, but decided that he’d better keep the details how Thor had his toothbrush and some personal belongings at the apartment now, because sometimes he had to run off to tend to his ‘business’ after they had made love. Since that first time they had a consensual sex, Loki had told the older man that he wasn’t quite ready for the penetrative sex, and Thor had protested and whined and Loki was laughing, though he said he’d make up for it.

They watched re-run on the TV on the couch, and made out. In fact, they had made out all over the apartment—in the kitchen, in the living room, on the bed, and even on Loki’s study desk where Thor liked to hold him on his lap. There were nights when Thor would drive him to work and pick him up, and they went to have breakfast at Jen’s and Benji’s. Thor was hanging around so often that Mrs. Doyle had given him her homemade cookies, saying it was for Loki. He wondered if she would know. Even if she did, she didn’t pry as long as they didn’t ruin the apartment, and so far there wasn’t any complaint of the noises Loki were making.

Speaking of the noises, Loki never knew that he was such a moaner and that seemed to turn Thor on even more.

They were practically inseparable. Loki felt the rush warmth and an uneasy feeling rise in him at the same time.

“Look, I know you’re a grown up man.” Helblindi said. “Hell, I can see that you’ve gained some weight.” He pointed towards Loki’s body. “You filled that jacket in just two months, and your eyes and skin are shiny. So yeah, Thor’s a good fuck. He buys you food and stuff, right? I know his MO, man. He knows it too. But do you know?”

“You wouldn’t let this drop, would you?” Loki leaned back. “There’s nothing going on, Hel. I’m not with Thor. We’re not together.”

"It doesn't matter."

Loki shook his head. "What?"

“You’ve warned me that Thor is a dangerous man, remember? If he’s here, I would punch his balls and crush them with my bare hands." He demonstrated it by twisting his fist around, as if snapping fruit from the branch, and Loki winced. “So, I just don’t understand how you can do it with him.”

“Enough.” Loki glared at his brother. “If you bring this up again, I won’t be here the next time.”

Hel raised both hands in defeat. “All right. All right.”

And so they continued to eat the meal in silence.

Loki totally lost his appetite. He felt a pang of regret of coming here today with Thor. But Hel's question was valid. 'Do you know?'

Loki had no answer. He still didn't have one by the time they finished their lunches.

Helblindi seemed like he was in a mood swing. He talked and talked, boasting about his new girlfriend 'Mona Lisa Hake', a 20 something millionaire from Bel Air who was taking a rehab for her porno addiction. It was an instant connection, and Hel was just her type. Hel could never saw the problems with her 'condition', but she said her family would disown her (and take away her multi-million dollars accounts) if she didn't take the therapy. She considered doing porn full-time after her sex tape leaked. Because instead of being shamed, she felt as if she'd found her calling. That was when her parents said they had enough.

Loki laughed. And Helblindi smiled, the stress eased out of his features. "Ah, I can still make you laugh."


Loki looked up and Helblindi pulled him into a tight hug. “I’m sorry, bro. Sorry that you’ve come all the way here and I’ve ruined your day.”

Loki patted his older brother in the back, and saw that Thor was watching them from the couch in the living room. Helblindi drew back and turned.

“Wait here.”

He walked up to Thor and the blond rose to his feet, jaws tense. They faced each other, and drew the eyes of people around them who were staring at the two tall, imposing men—one dark, one light.

“You look well,” Thor said it first.

“Thanks to you,” Hel answered grudgingly. “I almost thought that this was how you tried to get rid of me so I’d be out of your way.”

“Well, if you’d like to leave now, then it’s up to you.” Thor nodded towards Loki. “If you think you could take care of him.”

Helblindi grunted. “If you hurt him…” His fist raised in the ball-crush gesture. "Your balls will be here." Then he twisted and snapped his hand.

“I won’t.” Thor said, wincing. “He’s doing great, though I think he’s working himself to the ground.”

For a moment, confusion flashed in Helblindi’s eyes. “What do you want, Thor? Did you do all this to get into his pants?”

Thor glanced over to Loki, seeing how concern was written all over his features. “To me, he’s more than that.”

Both men turned and looked at Loki.

Thor gave Helblindi’s bicep with a few heavy patting. “Look. Keep doing the good job and come home as soon as you can.”

Hel leaned away and swatted Thor’s hand away. “Don’t touch me.” Thor let out a deep chuckle.

“Take care, Hel.” He smiled a genuine smile, seeing the similarities between the brothers. “And see you later.”

“I won’t fucking see you later!” Hel shouted as Thor walked towards Loki. His face reddened further as the blond slid his arm across Loki’s shoulder. “I fucking won’t, you cocksucker!”

The soundtrack of this chapter:

Once Adreamed by Christian Älvestam
From what was said to be a shelter, Deafening alarm The weight of secrecy and silence Burning mirrors end Another storm cloud passing by, Willingly adrift It's a long lane that has no turning

Chapter Text


“Your boyfriend's hot,” Darcy said one day. That made Loki spill his coffee in the backroom where he was taking a break and when Darcy just stormed in to say that to him.

“Excuse me?”

The new junior staff gave him a cheeky smile. “He’s just arrived and parking outside.”

“I see.” Loki wiped the coffee from his chin, trying to act normal even though his heart beat a bit faster.

“None of my business, but you must have been praying to the right gods.” She winked and exited quickly just as she came in.

“Thanks for the kind words.” Loki murmured to himself.


The right gods? Maybe not. He didn’t believe in gods or any religion. Had she known how Thor thrust himself into Loki’s life, she would came up with a different opinion.

It had been months since it all started, and Darcy’s words made him think all evening.

Thor came to pick him up from work as usual, and he wondered why Thor chose to do so and not doing anything better. Didn’t he have business to do, friends to go to? Did he really like him? Had he fallen for him? Those questions didn’t matter anymore.

Hel’s words…’what are you doing?’ And this…’boyfriend’ observation. Was this how people see their relationship?




Wait a second, there was no relationship.


A relationship would not start with force, with threats, with violence. And how did he go from playing along in order to get Thor to fall for him…to this.

He was riding in Thor’s car, where Thor picked him up almost everyday after work. Thor spent days and nights at his apartment, and people thought they were together.

He knew what people thought. ‘He got himself a handsome sugar daddy.’ Look at him, wearing a worn out t-shirt, faded jeans, an old pair of his favorite sneakers, but going places in this car that was more expensive than his rental apartment and all the properties inside.


He had refused Thor many gifts, not the fancy clothes Thor wanted to buy him, or a new laptop or the latest phones that was worth 3 months of his work. He accepted only food for Jorgy or the meals Thor bought him.


His ass had gotten accustomed to the top class leather seats in Thor’s car, and the ambient audio system that surrounded them. As if on cue, Pet Shop Boy’s ‘Rent’ started playing on the radio.


Thor loved playing old music. He wasn’t that old, but he liked oldie stuff, listening to classic rock like Led Zeppelin and Pink Floyd, Abba and Pet Shop Boys. Loki didn’t have particular taste in music. He grew up on news and didn’t have much time to enjoy the TV where his father dominated the pilot. After he had been gone, Loki was always on the go, and since money was always tight, he spent his time working, studying, and working, and no time to stop and enjoy anything.


He wondered if he would die of a heart attack by 40.


But Thor…he had a different life. He came from a different world. He enjoyed life to the fullest—all the joy and pain life could offer. For Loki, it had always been pain. He didn’t want to victimize himself, but he had come to acceptance that this was how his life was going to be.


Once he graduated and became a lawyer, then…it could be different.


That was his goal. To buy his own apartment, a bigger terrarium for Jorgy, maybe even get another python. He would buy his own car, not having to ride a motorcycle or wait for someone to pick him up. He would be his own man.


Not this. Not whatever he was right now. As if he was Thor’s rent boy.


Thor liked him, and that was what he’d wanted. So he could break him, like how he had broken Loki.


But life got busy and now…to his horror, he had gotten used to this.


“What’s wrong, Loki?” Thor asked. Yes, they had come to the point where they sensed each other’s mood. He could tell that Thor had a bad day just by him entering the apartment. This was not a one-sided gift.


“Nothing.” Loki gulped. “Just…thinking about something.”

“And can you tell me what’s bothering you?”

You. Loki answered mentally. “I just wondered why you’re doing all this.” He said. “Today…Darcy said to me…’your boyfriend’s hot.’”


Silence fell around them. Loki thought, yes, drop him the ‘talk’. Make him think ‘ok…here we are.’


From the corner of his eyes, he saw Thor’s grips tightened around the wheel. Another seconds of silence.


Ah, ok. He shouldn’t let this pang bother him.

“I’m sorry,” he said, making himself sound so small. “I didn’t mean to assume that…”

“It’s all right, Loki. It’s natural to wonder…to ask.” Thor smiled at him, but was that sadness in his eyes?

“Can you take me home?” Loki said. “I’m really tired.”

“As you wish.”


As soon as they went inside, Thor pulled him into his embrace and gave Loki the most intense, wet kiss. He got hard instantly—that had been like an automatic response. Every time Thor touched him, he was electrified. Cliché as it might sound, his body always came to life when Thor touched him.


Thor was able to fulfill his desire—he touched him in all the right places, made him moan and cum harder and felt thoroughly fucked---made love to, even when it was just with his fingers. But he had never been with anyone else. He just did not feel the need to.


This was scary, but when Thor kissed him, nothing else mattered.


Thor released him and pressed his forehead to Loki’s. “I really like you, Loki…Isn’t it enough? Isn’t it good for you the way we are?”


“I didn’t mean to … label…or..anything.” Loki kissed Thor back, trying to make his voice quiver and filled with need. “I just. I just didn’t know what happened to me.” He looked up into Thor’s eyes, and he felt his tears well up. “I used to hate you. I…I didn’t know what happened to me. I just—I just knew that I made a mistake. Hel said I’m crazy. I—I don’t know, Thor. I don’t know anymore.”


“Sh….” Thor kissed him. “Shh…”


He stripped Loki’s tee and jeans and they fell onto the bed. Loki was rock hard, his cock pressing wetly against his belly. Thor bent down and took him into his mouth, and continued licking him up from his entrance to his neck.


“Do that again…” Loki wound his fingers in Thor’s hair. “There…it feels so good.”

Thor gave him a cunning grin, but went back down and gave him what he wanted.

He tightened his fingers hard enough for Thor to let out a soft ‘ouch’. He told Thor shakily, “I want your cock in me, Thor.”


Thor’s eyes lit up like a kid watching fireworks on the 4th of July, Disneyland’s, a cat seeing a Christmas tree and a dog getting a t-bone. “Are you sure?”

“You idiot, you have to ask?” Loki answered with a grin.

He jumped off the bed and the drawer must have been broken the way he yanked it open. There was two bottles of lube and a pack of condom, and Thor tore it and roll it on himself. He then jumped back onto the bed with the lube.

“No going back.” He said in a breathy voice and a grin. “If you change your mind now…I will…”

“Fuck me, Thor.”


Those magic words. And Thor pounced on him.


Loki admired him for his patience. Thor had loosened him many times with his fingers, but Loki never allowed him to even use a dildo. He saw how Thor’s massive cock strained against his belly, how it was so engorged and purplish, and how it was throbbing.

This is going to hurt. He knew. And then, after some 5 minutes of rimming and fingering, Thor was straddling over him, lifting up his legs, and readied himself, pressing the tip of his reddened cock against Loki’s entrance.


He paused and looked into Loki’s eyes. His eyes were dark and his pupils blown black. He looked like a beast and Loki parted his mouth.


“Fuck me.”


In one push, Thor entered him. It was rough and stretched him to the brim that Loki cried out loud. He gripped Thor’s shoulders, nails digging into his meaty shoulders. And Thor pulled out, slammed back in.


There was no more gentleness. It was like that first time, but it was different. It hit him in the deep place he was hiding, wringing out his dirty secrets.


It was raw and rough. How Thor rutted into him wasn’t graceful…only bare need and it was beautiful. How he could render this beautiful man into this animalistic state...


This power…this control. It made Loki come with a howl.


Thor came with a long moan. He sounded ragged and ruined, and Loki memorized the sound. He wanted to hear it again.


The man fell down next to him and he was panting into the pillow. Loki felt himself gape and ache. He closed his eyes, running his fingers down there, and stroked up to his own messy come.


“That was amazing.” He murmured. Thor turned to look at him, and gave him a dazed smile.

He painted his come on Thor’s beard, dipped his digit finger on Thor’s lower lip. Thor took it and gave it a suck. Loki got up and straddled over him.


“I don’t care if you think I’m just a fuckboy,” Loki said. “I don’t care what others say. I want you to fuck me again.”


“Jesus…” Thor looked at him, amazed, and yes. This look in his eyes. “I’ve created a monster.”


Loki bent down and kissed him deep. He whispered against Thor’s ears, licking his neck and jaw, making Thor hum happily. “Fuck me…fill me with your cum. Again…and again…”


They kissed and groped, and 15 minutes later, Thor pinned him down again. Loki winced as Thor pushed in for the second time, this time more gentle and they lasted longer.


Fall for me, Loki chanted in his mind.


He instinctively cried out Thor’s name this time when he climaxed. He nearly passed out.


Fall in love with me, you oaf.


That was his last thought before he drifted into a hazy bliss.

Chapter Text

Loki started noticing the changes around him. Guys sent him a wink across the lecture hall. He got more ‘hi’ from some guys in the cafeteria. He even got asked out by a hunk from Science department. He must have reeked more pheromone after getting sexed up.


One thing he had banned Thor from doing was to show up at his school. He had a reputation to keep. His peers  knew him as a quiet, reserved student, but never shied from expressing his opinions, and he had no life. He rarely joined their invitation except for class projects. A professor told him that he had to socialize—it was a part of education and career—a part of life. Wise words he could not afford to follow at the moment.


“I can’t,” he said to the hunk. “I’m kind of seeing someone.”

“Oh.” A sad handsome face stared back at him. “But, here’s my numbers. If you want to go out sometimes…” what he didn’t say was in case things don’t work out between you and him.

Loki took the piece of paper and tucked it into his jacket’s pocket. “Thanks, I’m really flattered.”

“You’re awesome, Loki.” The guy smiled.


Loki was wearing his faux leather jacket (Thor had one cool leather jacket. He would borrow it if it wasn’t 3 sizes too big for him), and walked towards the parking lot. He stopped by the activity board. There was a speech coming up tomorrow by Tyrren Jackson, environmental lawyer from Abilgard Solar Corp.


Thor’s family business. Loki narrowed his eyes. I’m not gonna miss this.


The talk started at 9am, so Loki skipped his night shift, but Steve was more than happy to help him out.


By 8.30am, he was there at the front row and waited. He saw a tall, muscular man with blonde-brown hair and blue eyes walk into the hall with the dean of law, the environmental professors. It must have been Tyrren. The guy was gorgeous. His hair wasn’t slick and boring, but was pushed back in lovely curls over his head. They looked full and soft, great for grabbing. And those fuss around his lips and jaws, and the dark blue suit that enhanced his eyes…


Damn. Loki thought. I must have a thing for older guys.


Tyrren looked his way since there were a few people in the hall. Their eyes met, and Loki stared at him unblinking until the men disappeared behind the curtain on the stage.


By 8.50am, the hall was filled. The mic and sound people were checking the stage and the projector behind. At 9am the show started.


Loki had a blast. Tyrren was a great speaker, telling stories about Abilgard’s struggle with the local officials, especially in Africa. He was 36, and obviously he had seen and done a lot in his professional life. He was an intern after graduate school, and he clicked instantly with the corp’s philosophy: be daring.


“So, if you want to change the world, it starts with us. Together, we will make it happen.”


It worked with the audience. They applauded, and so did Loki. He set his mind that he would like to become an intern in this organization when it was time to do so.


He also noticed that Tyrren was looking at him a lot during the speech. He was sitting with parted legs due to the discomfort of the tight jeans. Hel was right; he had filled in his clothes and jeans lately. Perhaps he needed to go shopping for some new outfits.


After the Q&A session, which Loki had asked the speaker about opposition from fossil energy operators inside the US, the question he knew would impress Tyrren, some students flocked to talk to him. Loki stood and waited on the side, holding his arms across his chest in his dark jeans and leather jacket. He saw how Tyrren was glancing towards him.


After he’d shaken hands with the professors and the dean, he finally steered towards Loki. The young man smiled to himself.


“Hello,” Tyrren said and extended his hand. It was rough, but not as rough as Thor’s. But it gave him a strong squeeze that made him wonder how it would feel on his buttocks.

“Mr. Jackson. My name’s Loki Frost. Your speech made me want to go out in the field right now.”

“What year you’re in now?”

“Sophomore.” Loki shrugged. “I know it’s a long way to go.”

Tyrren’s smile was welcoming and personal, if Loki wasn’t mistaken.

“Look.” He fished out a name card from a platinum holder and handed it to Loki between his second and third fingers. “If you have any questions you want to ask, give me a call. I can’t hang around much longer now because of another meeting. But we’ll talk, ok?”


Loki’s heart beat faster with excitement. “Thank you, Mr. Jackson.”

“Call me Tyr.” The older man grabbed his shoulder and gave a light squeeze. “Nice to meet you, Loki.”


Loki still felt the heat around his bicep. He read the name card and couldn’t help but be amazed how easy it was to get the guy’s numbers.


It was as if a whole new world had opened up to him. He felt…somewhat empowered.


Loki went home with a smile.



Tyrren walked towards the black limo that was waiting in front of the building. The driver who was wearing a buttoned up suit and a white cap and gloves opened the door for him, letting him slide into the seat.


“How is he like?” asked the man in the car. Tyrren moved his jacket, his smile vanished, and a solemn mask slipped back on.

“He’s pretty and smart. He came up to me, waiting in the corner but made sure he caught my attention.”

“Hmph. Smart, but not smart enough.” The man concluded. “A boy’s foolishness, thinking himself a man.”


Tyrren glanced at the white-haired man next to him, then an icy blue eye turned toward him. Despite of the years working with this man, Tyrren couldn’t help but shivered whenever that one eye starred at him.


“But he’s smart enough to hook Thor like a herring. I’ve always thought that my son is a work in progress, but never imagined he’d fall for just a pretty face, let alone for Laufey’s son. Talk to him and stop this child’s play.”

“Yes, sir.” Tyrren answered firmly. “I will.”




Loki had been humming all the way riding back to the apartment. He came home to find a letter place on the dining table, along with a pot of pumpkin soup, a plate of salmon steak and a bowl of salad of all colors of vegetables.


I will be out of town for a week. Business meeting coming up. I made you a dinner. Eat well and see you in a week, Liten Ku.


A week? Loki looked around at the empty apartment and he felt a bit alienated. He opened the fridge to find that Thor had even prepared the chicken for Jorgy. He never fed the python, but he was trying his best to win Loki’s heart through Jorgy.


Why?  Loki still thought about it days after days. Then he shook his head. Overthinking did nothing for him. He had a mission and now he had the mean to do it.


He sent Thor a text. I didn’t have the chance to give you a good-bye kiss. Or a blow job.

Seconds later. How am I going to live without you, little devil?


Thor started calling him by pet names, like couples. It was squeamish.


You’ll manage. Have a safe trip, Thor.


You should learn driving when I get back. You could use my car while I’m away.


He didn’t reply and he lived his life as normal. He went to work after having the soup and salmon steak that Thor had prepared for him. He loved riding his motorcycle. But the idea of driving that car wasn’t too bad.


Damn, he was spoiled, Loki chuckled. Maybe he could use this car, sell it, and there would be no more autopilot mode while at work, or falling on his face during the lectures.


Two days later, he made a phone call.


“Hello.” Came the answer on the other end.


“Hello, Tyr,” Loki said into the phone. “You have a moment? I have a few questions about a presentation I’m doing…”


Tyrren was in his office at Abilgard Solar Corp headquarter. He had been expecting Loki’s phone call.


“Loki!” He smiled. “I was waiting for your call.” The older man dived in for the kill. There was no time to waste. “I am about to go home. How about talking over a coffee?”


“That’d be nice.” Loki was surprised. “Well…ok. See you at 8. Thanks, Tyr.”


So, he had a date, Loki told himself and opened the closet to look for better outfits than what he was wearing. Tyrren had chosen a fancy place downtown, some place he would need a shirt and a jacket.


A date/talk with a lawyer. Loki said to himself. Let’s make it a good one.







Chapter Text


Loki took the subway to downtown, then walked 1.5 kilometers to the bistro. At first he looked at the sign, the chalk board writing today’s specialty. He did not say no to the invitation, but he came prepared. He took a hundred dollar with him and it should suffice.


Tyr was already at the place. He said it was just a few blocks away from the office, so he was walking to the place and waited for Loki there. He was in his work attire, the jacket was draped over the backrest, and he had rolled up the sleeves of his white shirt. Loki’s eyes darted to the blonde hair on those powerful arms. He definitely worked out, and Loki admitted he really like what he saw.


Tyr lifted his hand and signaled to Loki with a wide smile. He looked genuinely happy to see Loki and the young man’s heart flutter.


“Hi.” They shook hands. “Thank you very much for coming here.”

“Thank you.” Tyr straightened up. “It’s a pleasure to meet a law student. Made me miss my old days.”

Loki picked up the menu. The price wasn’t too bad. It wasn’t cheap, but it wouldn’t kill him.


After they ordered snacks, beer for Tyr, and black coffee for Loki, they turned their eyes to each other.


“So, Loki, you said you have questions for me. Shoot.”


The talk turned into a mini interview. He asked how Tyr became a lawyer and worked at Abilgard. He wanted to hear his story which Tyr gladly compiled. He was Abilgard’s scholarship student and that made Loki’s ears perked up.

“Do you think I’d be eligible?” He asked eagerly. Then, he pulled back. “I’m sorry. I didn’t to make it look like I’m here to get something from you. I’m sorry.”


“Why are you apologizing?” Tyr frowned. “You’ve done nothing wrong, Loki. You asked the right questions and that’s a good quality in a lawyer.”


Loki smiled. Tyr’s eyes glimmered in the light and he felt a small tingling sensation in his belly…


A waiter came and served them a plate of French fries, fried onions and tacos for Loki. Tyr ordered a beef black burger, double stacks, and a pint of beer, while Loki ordered himself a chicken wrap—the cheapest on the menu, with a cup of Arabica.


He looked how Tyr munched on the burger and he thought of Thor, how he was eating like a 12 years old sometimes. He quickly shook the thought away.


“Hm. Sorry, I’m starving.” Tyr said after he finished half of the burger, then he continued eating.


Loki was eating his own food quietly. He felt somehow weird. All these months he had been eating out only with Thor, or had his meals alone at the university where he took his own lunch. Socialize. The professor’s voice echoed in his head. This was time to do it, Loki told himself.


Tyr wiped his hands on the towel, and he grabbed the menu. “Dessert?”


They ordered chocolate mousse. It was dark and delicious. It was then that the talk picked up from where they left off.


When they talked about the policy makers, it was then that Loki felt himself again. He didn’t really know how to make small talk, and he didn’t even know Tyr well. Sometimes, being in front of an attractive man could make you feel nothing when you had nothing to talk about.


But Tyr, he seemed totally immersed in his works. It seemed like he hated small talks too, and this was a common ground Loki could live with. The talk became livelier when they both focused on the legal issues. Two hours went by and Tyr looked at his watch.

“It’s 10.30. Damn.” He grabbed and drowned his beer. “I have to get up early tomorrow morning.”


“You could have said no,” Loki said. “It’s not urgent…just a school project.”


“I wanted to talk to you, Loki. You look like a smart guy and I enjoyed your questions.” Tyr signaled to the waiter. “Maybe we could meet again, if you want.”


If you want. Loki answered before he could stop himself. “Yes, that’d be awesome.”


Tyr placed his hand on Loki’s when he pulled out his wallet. “What are you doing?”


“I’m paying.” Loki frowned.


“Noooo.” Tyr let out a long protest. “No no. Not at my table. I’m paying for both of us.”


“I can’t let you do that!” Loki protested. “At least I have to pay for myself. You came here because of my project. You spent hours talking to me even if you just had a long day, and now you want to pay?!”


“Allow me. I chose this place, so let me give you a welcome treat.” Tyr insisted.


In the end, Loki gave up. He tucked his wallet back into his jacket. “Thank you.”


“It’s not a big deal, Loki.” Tyr put on his jacket. “Let me drive you home?”


“That’s…that’s very kind of you, but I can take the subway.”


“Do you want to see my office?” Tyr said, then he raised his hands. “Oh shit. That sounds…bad. I meant, if you go to the office, I park my car there, then I can drive you home.”


It did sound weird, but for some reasons, Loki knew Tyr didn’t mean harm. At least, he didn’t look like a serial killer.


“Perhaps I could visit during the day.” Loki said. He should grab any opportunity he could with a big corporate like this. “That’d be nice.”


“You can count on that.” They smiled and rose from the chairs.


In front of the bistro, the street was still crowded even if it was close to 11 on a Wednesday night.


“Well…it was lovely chatting with you, Loki.” Tyr smiled warmly and he squeezed Loki’s hand as they shook hands.


He was holding a bit longer than necessary, and Loki didn’t miss that. But just as he started to feel hot, Tyr let go.


“Whenever you want to talk, give me a call.” The older man said. “Ok?”


“Ok, thank you, Tyr.” Loki smiled.


They parted ways in front of the bistro. Loki couldn’t help sneak a look over his shoulder, and to his surprise, Tyr was doing the same thing. They both laughed and waved at each other.


It was nice. Nice and easy. It felt so natural. Loki had thought doing this would have been harder.


Perhaps things weren’t as hard as they seemed. It didn’t have to be full of problems, full of pain. Tyr was a fighter, building his own career from being a scholarship holder, working his way up into one of the most powerful corps in the US. He didn’t have it handed to him, didn’t have it easy and still made it.


Loki walked to the subway and on the way, his phone vibrated.


He received a photo on whatsapp. It was a photo of a small runway, with half view of an airplane that was used to land on an island.


I’m here all right. Greetings from the Bahamas.


Bahamas? Thor had never told him his whereabouts. Loki stopped asking about his jobs long time ago, just knowing that Thor came and went, here and there, doing his works. They had employed don’t ask, don’t tell in this area of their ‘relationship.’


Loki wrote back. I just had a dinner with a friend. Talked about school project.

Things going good? Haven’t heard from you for two days. I miss you.

Was busy. Meeting went all right.

Let me know when you get home.

Loki frowned. I’m not 15 year old. It should be safe.

Just humor me.


Loki tucked the phone back into his jacket. He was pissed off. Who the hell Thor thought he was to tell him to do things like reporting his location. He might be his boy toy, but he wasn’t his slave.


Anger gathered in his mind and made his stomach roil. The nice and easy feelings from the dinner vanished like a clear sky being overrun by dark clouds.


He walked back to his apartment, slammed the door and stripped off the clothes. He dropped himself onto the bed and tried to chase away the anger by thinking about Tyr. He replayed the images of those muscular arms with light blonde hair. Tyr was hairier than Thor, less bulky, but just as beautiful. His voice wasn’t as deep, but pleasant and he imagined how he would sound in court. He imagined the rest of him.


Loki got hard. He wanted to see Tyr naked and see the rest of his body. He saw how those lips moved as he talked. They looked nice to kiss, to chew on. He pictured the way the beef sauce ran on his fingers, and how he would like to lick it off.


His phone vibrated again. It was Tyr. Are you home?


This must have been Abilgard corporate thing or something? Loki grabbed it and replied the lawyer with a smiley.


His phone vibrated again. Tyr wrote back. It was really nice talking to you tonight, Loki. Good night.


He replied shortly with the same courtesy. He did not write back to Thor, and the man didn’t bother him again.


He fell asleep thinking about Tyr and his naked body. Luckily he had an afternoon class, and he could sleep in and played with his own thoughts as long as he liked.


Loki woke up at 6 because of the vibration on his phone. He’d always been a light sleeper. He grabbed it and peered his eyes open, drowsily, and saw a photo.


It was Thor sipping wine. He was in a winery, and Loki had never known Bahamas had winery. Warm light surrounded Thor and he looked relaxed.


Vacation face. People always looked happier when they were away from home and worries.


Why are you drinking in the morning? Loki wrote back.

Good morning. It’s a practice here at my host’ house. Wish you could taste it.

Loki dropped his head on the pillow, looked at the photo again, and thought about last night.

He had to make Thor think—believe—that Loki was truly in love with him.

He quickly punched the keyboard and click sent.

I wish I was there too. I wanted to travel…with you. He wrote.


It took Thor for about 10 minutes before he wrote back. I will take you here someday, promise.


There, gotcha. Loki smiled to himself. Making men fall for him wasn’t that hard, after all.



Chapter Text

The facility was clean and smelled of Lysol. The walls were white, the uniforms of the patient were in mauve. The man had dark hair with visible strands of gray around the temples. He was nearly bald on the top, but the rest of his face--with a sharp nose, high cheekbones and thin lips, were still like those of a 40 something.

His green eyes starred blankly out the window. He did not react even when Odin approached him. He signaled Tyr to stand back and waited outside, giving them the privacy. A staff told them that they had an hour before the next meal time came up.

The one-eyed pulled the chair and sat down, looking at the broad shoulder.

“Laufey,” he said. “Turn around.”

The man did not react. He kept staring at the birds, the orange leaves swaying peacefully in the garden.

Odin signaled Tyr to shut the door. There were only the two of them now.

The man on the chair next to the window still did not react. It looked as if he was absorbed into his own little world.

“I’ve seen your son, Loki.” Odin went on. “He’s with my son.”

A tilt of the head. A tiny gesture but it was there.

“Cut the crap, Laufey. I know you’re not crazy.”

A few moments passed, then the man turned around.

When blue eyes met green ones, time lapsed. They were their 30 year old selves again, glaring eye-to-eye. Odin recognized the man he knew in there, the cold flame inside those green eyes.

He’d seen the same thing just by looking at the picture of the dark haired young man, Laufey’s spawn named Loki. He knew he had to act.

He must protect what’s his--his kingdom, his son.

A brief glance at the door. Then, Laufey was staring right back at him with a cold smile on his lips.

“Hello, One Eye.”

Chapter Text


In a few days, Thor would be back. Loki still got messages from him daily, and more photos from the winery, the beach, and some aerial views showing the beautiful archipelago and its azure water. One photo that made Loki smile, despite himself, was how Thor was running into the waves like a small child.


Who took all these photos for him? Loki wondered. None of my business.


He remembered something. Both of them were not on social media like facebook, twitter or instagram. They only used the chat program to communicate while Thor was away, and Loki to talk to the people at the university and work. Otherwise, he would have learned more about Thor, and extracted more secrets from him.


He never told me what exactly he was doing, except ‘off-shore business’. Thor had too many dirty secrets and Loki intended to find out about all of them.


But in the meantime, he had his own little secret. He made a call and met Tyr again two days after the first ‘meeting.’ This time, Tyr let him choose the place, and he chose one near his college. It was a small and cozy book shop with a small café with one of the best cakes he’d ever had.


He had never taken Thor here, because this was his domain, the part of life he didn’t want Thor to see, to invade, to overrun. But he would take Tyr there.


The bell on the door rang and Loki looked up. He was there 15 minutes earlier, and when the blonde man walked in, he smiled.


Tyr was in a white t-shirt with the word ‘legal’ under a black leather jacket. He looked stunning because of his face, his height and nearly everyone in the shop turned to look at him.


He strolled towards Loki with a wide smile.


“Hi.” Tyr looked at him with sparkles in his eyes.

“Hi.” Smiled Loki.



It was late in the night. They were strolling in the park after the café had closed, and Tyr insisted that he drove Loki home this time.


“I really appreciated all your help.” Loki said. He looked at the ground, at the leaves in the orange light. When he looked to his left side, Tyr was looking at him with an intent look in his eyes.

“I’m doing my best, Loki. I enjoy seeing you.”


Seeing you.


Suddenly, the man stopped. “But, Loki…let make things clear from the start.” Loki stopped, too, and they looked at each other.


“I’m not here for a professional reason. I was at your college for academic reasons, and you wanted to see me because of that reason. For me, I am here because I am attracted to you.”


Wow. Loki’s eyes widened. “Ok…”


“If you’re not feeling the same way, then I want to know. I would still help you out with your project, or to get you through the scholarship application process, or for becoming an intern at AS, as you want. I’m doing this because I see how determined you are and you want to build your future. You don’t have to worry about anything else.” He meant you don’t have to sleep with me, Loki concluded.


“But…I want to know now if you’re here for my knowledge.” Tyr stopped, taking a deep breath. “It’s just my way to clear things out, so there will be no complications and misunderstanding. Communication is important, you know?”


Loki’s head was spinning a little. He did not expect Tyr to move things forward this quick. Now, should he tell him he had Thor as a thorn on his side?


“I, um, I think you’re good looking, kind and smart.” Loki felt strange saying those words. It sounded like a memorized line from old TV series. It sounded bland, but he said them anyway. “I don’t know what this is, Tyr. I want to see you and talk to you, and yes…it’s not just because of academic reasons.”


“Ah!” Tyr exclaimed, then let out a laugh. “Why am I feeling like I’m in high school?” He gave Loki a shy smile and they continued walking.


His car was a cobalt blue sport Mercedes. Loki told himself that he would make this much money one day and he would get anything he’d wanted.


The drive was filled with breezy jazz music. Everything about Tyr looked breezy, even his dating style. But his watch was a Rolex. Loki knew how he was different from Thor. That man dressed like a million dollar, but the way he acted made him look rustic, even raw. That was why he got along with the Mexicans at the gym, or the islanders, or the old ladies at Loki’s apartment who still thought he was Loki’s distant cousin. They even gave him homemade cakes, because when Thor wanted to, he could charm them like a golden retriever.


He didn’t look like an heir to an energy empire. And if they didn’t meet in this way, Loki was sure he would like to become this man’s friend…


This must be how Hel had felt.


But, Thor was also brutal and sometimes his honesty was painful to witness. Loki could see how easy it would be for someone to destroy him once Thor let them past his guard. He thought of that first day they met…that cruel man. Everything about Thor was the extremes. Love or hate. Hit or hold.


But with Tyr, it was…normal. Loki wasn’t sure if he did like normal. His life had been nothing but normal, so this could be a welcomed change.



They arrived at the building. The car slowed down with a low hum then stopped. Loki turned to thank the man, and it was then that Tyr put his arm on Loki’s backrest and moved in and kissed him.


It was a closed-lip, gentle, and shy kiss, contrasting to the confidence Tyr exuded. Loki closed his eyes, feeling Tyr’s beard tickle his skin, his soft lips moved gently against Loki’s.


The man pulled back. “Good night, Loki.”


Loki raised his hand, grabbed the man’s face and pulled him into another kiss. And this time, he parted his lips.




Thor went home and unlocked the door to Loki’s apartment. Loki had given him a set of spare keys long time ago, and he spent most of his time in this small apartment as if it was his own.


It was smaller than his study room back at Odin’s mansion. It held many memories—the love, the laughter, the tears—all the stories that Loki had shared with him. He held the smaller man to his chest and wished he could take the pain in those eyes away.


He knew he was one of Loki’s bad dreams—if not the worst nightmare. He could not undo what he had done, but he wanted to make things right from now on.


Loki’s words that morning lingered on his mind. Loki had wanted to know what they were. He had no answers, not now. Not like this.


Thor put the wines in the fridge. He’d taken 3 bottles of white wine, 3 of red, and 3 of rosé. Perhaps in the next trip, he would make just a week holiday, taking Loki there with him. The guy needed a break. He had lived as if every day was the last day of his life.


But with Hel being in a rehab, and Thor’s business going well, things started to look up. He had talked to many local officials and businessmen who loved his offer. Perhaps he would be able to take a portion of the market share, installing his solar panels somewhere Odin’s reach had not reached.


He’d earned enough from the casino and online gambling sites he’d been investing in. The Caribbean had many things he enjoyed, and perhaps he would buy a house there…and take Loki to enjoy the quiet time with him.


He made them steaks. He put the glasses on the table. He put on the 70s pop. Loki wasn’t a music guy, but he even started playing Thor’s playlist on the radio while he was cooking one morning. Thor had woken up, standing at the door, watching how the sun light streamed through the curtain and how peaceful Loki looked, not realizing he was being watched.


It was a moment of bliss, something he hadn’t felt for such a long time. He was grateful that Loki had given him a chance to experience this again.


It didn’t matter what they were, Thor told himself. He was here, because Loki had allowed him to, and he ….


That word kept getting stuck in his throat. The word he had said to a woman long time ago. The woman he’d wanted to marry, but things fell apart after Frigga’s death. Thor had become a different man. He drank everyday and he didn’t go to work. All he did was partying, even trying drugs he’d sworn he’d never touched. He had all the money in the world to burn and he wanted to burn himself along with it.


When Jane tried to straighten him up, he called her a gold digger, that she was in it for his wealth. It wasn’t true, and yet he said it. One of the worst regrets of his life, and he could not take them back.


‘You let your mother’s death destroyed you!’ Jane shouted with tears rolling down her cheeks. ‘She would be heartbroken to see you like this!


She stormed out of his paint house. The next morning, he apologized when she returned…only to pack her things up.


He had no courage or strength to stop her. He let her walk away. He did not deserve her. He was a lowlife scum who hurt the woman he loved.


Six months later, he sobered up. He woke up one morning, with naked women piling on his bed. Thor turned to his right side, and there laid a man he’d slept with. Thor looked down at himself.


To his horror, he saw how he was too fucking drunk and didn’t wear a condom. He ran the hands across his face. Rose to his feet, stumbling to the bathroom. When he looked up in the mirror, he couldn’t recognize the man staring back at him.


He tested for HIV and it had been a torturous wait. He couldn’t live like this, Thor told himself.


He tried to get back to his old self, then he contacted Jane only to find out that she’d moved on.


He could not bring his mother back. He could not bring Jane back. And he nearly destroyed someone else’s life, again.


He would make things right this time.


The footsteps he heard made him smile. Loki was home. The key turned in the lock. Thor walked to the living room, and Loki was frowning.


“You’re back?” The dark haired man looked surprise.

Thor was wiping his hand with a towel. “Yes, I’m home.”

“How did you know I’m going to be home tonight?” Loki asked.

“You told me you had a day off.” Thor looked him up and down. “You went to the project’s meeting?”


Loki walked past him into his bed room—their bedroom. He took off the jacket.

“I made steaks and I brought you the Bahamas wine.” Thor gestured towards the kitchen.

“I’m not hungry.” Loki walked back into the living room. “I had a dinner. You should have told me that you’d be home so I wouldn’t have eaten.”

“I see that my surprise isn’t working.” Thor scratched his neck, a gesture he often did when he got nervous. “Have some wine with me, then?”

“I’ll have cheese and the wine.” Loki came up to him, wrapped his arms around Thor’s waist and gave him a peck.


Thor held him and pulled him into a kiss. He tasted beer on Loki’s tongue. Loki didn’t drink beer.


Maybe he decided to try it. Good, so I’ll have a beer buddy, too.


He pushed his tongue deeper, and Loki opened up, like always, letting Thor licked and tasted his cavern. He felt how Thor got half hard, and he felt his own dick jump to life.


“Wait…after dinner?” He asked, his breathing heavy.


“It’s been a week.” Thor whispered. “I think dinner can wait.”


Loki raised his arms and wrapped them around Thor’s neck as Thor rolled his tee up without wanting to let his lips go. They didn’t make it to the bed, but made love right there on the couch where Thor had taken him the first time.


Thor was kissing his hair, his erection still throbbed inside Loki after a long orgasm, then whispered, “I miss you.”


Loki turned and looked into those droopy blue eyes. “I miss you too,” he answered.