Chapter Text
He’s down. Down so deep he’s not even sure what the sun looks like anymore. He thought things were getting better, looking up. He’d gotten into the top university in the country, he had a love life for once in his short existence, his brother was going to be close by, but of course that couldn’t last, not for Tsukishima Kei. No, something always had to slip up, go wrong, drag him back down into the abyss he was so familiar with he was starting to call it home.
After everything he’d been through in high school, he thought college would be a new start. The place he could be himself and not have to check behind his back every other second like back in Miyagi. Tokyo was supposed to be his refuge. And for a while it was, but as Tsukishima knew all too well, things change, and rarely for the better.
His first year at the University of Tokyo had been wonderful, better than he could ever dream. His peers were incredible. He didn’t have to dumb down his comments in class anymore and he was finally able to take some geology courses, the first step on his way to the paleontology courses he had so longed for. Akiteru was only a ten minute train ride away and he met someone who made his heart race. But somehow all of that had crumbled under his feet by the end of the year.
It started in February when Akiteru was transferred to the US. He now lived in San Francisco, a 10 hour plane ride away instead of a 10 minute train ride. Akiteru had tried to ease the blow. He took Kei out to eat and spent as much time as possible with him before leaving. He even said he’d fly Kei out there some time for a visit and reminded him he was only a phone call away whenever Kei needed him. Even so, he was crushed when Akiteru left. He would never say it aloud, but Akiteru was his support pillar. The person Kei knew he could turn to and would never judge him. The person Kei could tell anything to. And when Akiteru left, he lost that. It just wasn’t the same trying to tell secrets over the phone. But what made it even worse was that only about a week after Akiteru left, his mom found out about the person who made his heart race. About the boy who made his heart race. The boy he started dating earlier that year.
There had been a reason why he never dared to have a relationship in high school. First of all were the expectations. He had to study hard, get top grades, get into a top school and he did. He passed with flying colors. He was accepted to the most prestigious university in the country. But that excuse was only what he claimed when his friends asked and told girls who would shyly place confessions on colorful stationary in his locker. Yes, that’s what he said, and he had shielded himself with that lie for so long, when he started to accept the fact that it wasn’t the real reason, he was scared to admit it even to himself.
The real reason was because he knew his mother would never accept the kind of relationship he wanted to have. She had spoken out openly against that type of “life-style choice” more than once. He thought being hours away from Miyagi would be enough to shield his love life from her and when he met him, well he could hardly say no. Everything worked perfectly and it was great, for a while. But then his mom found out. He had failed to meet her expectations for him, she cut ties, refused to speak to him, and then he was dumped by the same person who had said, “I’ll never leave you,” mere weeks before. It was almost as if he wasn’t worthy of being loved…
No, stop thinking like that, he chided himself. You’ll just end up talking yourself down again. You have Akiteru. He knows and he still loves you. Same with Yamaguchi. Just put your mind on something else. He sighed. Why did he forget his headphones? Music was the only thing he had to drown out his thoughts. Drown out all the expectations. ‘Cause that’s what everyone had. Expectations, expectations, expectations. But if you don’t meet them, suddenly you’re not good enough. Not worth it. So he had to keep meeting them, surpassing them. This wasn’t what I had in mind when changing the subject to something else. Oh, right.
He shuffled through a few songs in his head and started to hum as he continued walking back to his sorry excuse of an apartment. It was run down with just enough space for one person to live. The only upside was that it was only a few blocks from campus. It was also one of the only things Kei could afford with his scholarships and his job at the music shop. It’s not like his parents were in the picture anymore to help financially anyway. Stop. School? No. Yeah it’s not like school was particularly going well either.
He stopped and shook his head, taking his glasses off to clean them. He stood there half blind relishing in blurriness of the world about him before placing them back on his nose. The first thing he noticed in the restored clarity was the obnoxious sign for Kat’s Kradle. It was a bakery and café that was quite popular with students from his school. He passed it every day on his way to and from campus, but had yet to step foot inside. It looked kind of gaudy, not to mention the name was spelt incorrectly, and did the owner know what a depressing song he named his bakery after? It certainly didn’t match the curly red script and winking black cat that were scrawled across the windows. But, he thought, it might be a nice distraction…
Maybe that’s what pulled him into the shop. The need for distraction, but as he got closer he couldn’t help but notice the sign in the window that claimed “Best Strawberry Shortcake in Tokyo.” He looked at it skeptically. There was no way this place had the best strawberry shortcake in the city. But he’d never been able to say no to that particular dessert. It had been his favorite treat ever since he was young. Plus it was the start of the weekend. He could afford to treat himself, right? Wrong. He ignored the bitter part of his mind deciding it wouldn’t hurt.
He walked across the street to the shop that graced the corner and went in the red, wooden door. A little bell rang above his head. He glanced around the shop. The place was cozy, it had a few tables set up by the walls lined with windows and a corner filled with comfortable plush chairs in an area further back. Bread racks lined all the free wall space behind the huge wooden counter where a large display case of pastries sat, leaving very little room for the register at the end.
Photos and paintings littered the walls. Some seemed to be from students in the art school nearby, others were just pictures patrons had taken in the café and elsewhere. One picture of two boys seemed to stand out from the rest.
The shop wasn’t particularly crowded at the moment. A few couples here and there, a group yammering about some project. Tsukishima looked toward the counter again, no one was there. He glanced up to the menu scrawled on a huge chalk board above. He spotted his treat, but couldn’t decide what to get to drink with it. As he debated whether the strawberry shortcake would taste better with tea or coffee, he was startled from his thoughts by a, “Be with you in a sec!” yelled from the kitchen.
When he looked back down a young man had appeared. He was slightly shorter than Tsukishima, had flour smeared on his right cheek, wild black hair peeking out from under a red bandana, and a lopsided grin gracing his rather handsome face. All characteristics, minus the flour, that reminded Kei slightly too much of his ex, and made him nearly sprint back out the door and straight to his apartment.
And he was about to too. Except the man spoke.
“So, what’re you having today, Megane-kun?” he asked with a sparkle of mischief in his golden-brown eyes.
Kei’s eyes narrowed. He hated it when people identified him solely by his glasses.
“A piece of strawberry short cake,” he replied evenly, his glare unrelenting.
“And to drink?” The man behind the counter inquired with a raise of his eyebrows, smile still intact.
Kei might as well ask. “Would you recommend tea or coffee?”
“Coffee,” the man replied almost immediately.
“I’ll have tea then,” Kei replied with a smile, noting the twitch of the man’s eyebrow in irritation. Good.
“OK, that’ll be 840 yen.”
Kei dug around his pocket and pulled out the money, exact change, of course.
“Ok, take a seat and I’ll bring it right out,” the man smiled again in such a way that made Tsukishima really just want to forget his cake and leave. He’d had enough of handsome, smiling, easy-going guys.
He went to the back corner of the shop and found a nice, comfy looking chair to sit in with a small table by it. As he sank down he realized there was music playing. It was odd he hadn’t noticed immediately, but it was a soft indie record that blended more into the background than anything. He listened for a moment more. Was that Nora Jones? He frowned at his inability to place the artist and song’s title before deciding to pull out some reading for a class. They had barely started the semester, but better to be early on assignments, even if he wasn’t sure he wanted to do it, or any other thing for that matter. After everything that had happened he was even starting to question the track he had chosen at school.
He sighed and began to read.
“University student?”
Kei looked up. It was the same guy from the counter. Did he do everything by himself here?
“Um, yeah,” Kie replied as he took the plate and mug being offered to him.
“You a first year? I’ve never seen you around before,” the intruder asked as he sat down in the chair across from Kei.
Kei scowled, but replied, “No, second, and I don’t see how that’s relevant,” as he turned back to his book.
“Just wondering. Usually students start coming their first year and I know most of them, so when someone new shows up I like to learn their name. By the way, what is your name?” he leaned forward looking to be fully interested in what Kei was going to say. Tsukishima debated whether or not to actually answer. It’s not like he had to, but he thought he’d better, out of politeness.
“Tsukishima Kei.”
“Well, it’s very nice to meet you, Tsukishima-san. I’m Kuroo Tetsurou,” he replied with a lop-sided smile.
Kei nodded, and heard the door ring signaling another customer. Kuroo stood and glanced over to give the incoming lady a smile and small bow and then turned back to Tsukishima.
“I guess I better get back over to the counter, but I hope to see you again soon,” Kuroo said he turned away.
Kei just nodded and turned towards his still untouched cake.
He picked up his fork and took a bite, then scowled.
He didn’t think he liked Kuroo-san much, but this probably was the best strawberry shortcake in Tokyo.
He took a sip of tea. It also would have gone better with coffee.