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Ditto

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"I'm sorry, Felicity."

She drags her head up from his shoulder to look at him, tries to frown but it takes more energy than she has at the moment. "For what?" 

John's lips quirk up in the tiniest of smiles as his hands tighten on hers. "I wanted us to spend the rest of our lives together... this wasn't exactly what I had in mind." 

For a second, Felicity feels a rush of lightheadedness which has nothing to do with the lack of oxygen in the room. "Oh? What did you want?" 

John rolls his head so that his eyes meet hers. "The whole works... white picket fence, couple of kids, maybe a dog... you and me, growing old together." He coughs and closes his eyes, like the words have exhausted him. Or maybe so he can see that dream again just one more time. 

Felicity doesn't have to close her eyes to picture that, has already done it more times than she'd ever admit to anyone, even him. "It's a good dream," she whispers, laying her head back on his shoulder. "But you don't have anything to be sorry for... I knew what I signed on for... from day one, I knew the risks."

John chuckles. "You should be saving your breath, you know. We both should"

She shakes her head because rescue is, frankly, looking unlikely and if this is going to be the last chance they have to talk, she wants him to know this. "If this is how it ends..." She swallows hard. "Then at least we're together. Because I wouldn't want to go on without you." 

Her strength deserts her then and she lets her body fall, lets her cheek rest against his leg. She closes her eyes as she feels his hand move through her hair and as sleep threatens to claim her, she almost misses his quiet, "Ditto."