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Maria Hill is Worthy

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Maria Hill is having a shitty day. No. A shitty week.

It had all started with Phil all of sudden having two women on his plane with superpowers; one of them being his precious Skye. The girl that Maria had seen pictures of and been privy to little stories that Phil had told her about before the shit hit the fan.

But Maria isn’t a fool. She can see pure mischief in her eyes. Hacking into S.H.I.E.L.D is nothing for the orphaned girl, and Maria is praying that her time with May had taught the girl how to follow the rules.

Her prayers aren’t answered.

///

Okay. So Skye isn’t that bad. She mostly just follows Maria around- which upsets most of the Avengers. There’s a possible new superhero in the making and she wants nothing to do with them? Not cool.

So naturally they try to ‘woo’ her over.

“Lady Skye! You’re quite the warrior! Asgard and the Avengers would be proud to have you!” Thor bellows one night during dinner. Before he can say anything else he notices, feels, the glare coming from May. He never mentions it again.

///

The only that comes close is Steve.

Skye has begun to do morning runs with Maria ever since she learned of them. It’s common knowledge that Maria and Skye show up just before breakfast so there stood Steve with two helmets in hand and a shy smile.

“I was wondering if you would let me escort you to breakfast Skye?” Steve asks.

Panicking Skye looks around to see if anyone from her team is around. When she is sure that the coast is clear she smiles.

“Sure, I mean like AC would faint if he knew.” She replies.

“More of a reason for you guys to go now.” Maria begins to usher them to the elevator doors. Not feeling guilty whatsoever about pushing the young girl onto someone else. Maria walks back to her room, ready for a nice, relaxing bath.

///

Maria is becoming nervous about how quiet the tower is currently. After her bath she took time for herself and slept, in her books there is never a bad time to take a nap.

Two hours pass while she’s napping and silence for that period of time means that everyone is dead. Cautiously she steps out of her room. Still no sound.

“Well, I guess that everyone must of either ate Clint and Hunter’s food or were kidnapped.” Maria murmurs to herself.

“Fortunately not Ms. Hill.” Jarvis says, “There was talk about picking Miss. Foster and Miss. Lewis from the airport. Most of the inhabitants decided to go.”

“And the others?”

“Director Coulson and May are sparring while Agents Simmons and Romanov are in Lab B2.” The AI tells her.

“Jemma and Natasha?” Maria repeats as she shakes her head, nothing good could come from that.

Quickly she treads to the lab praying that nothing is on fire. Thankfully this time her answers are answered. Jemma and Natasha are just talking while the Brit pours chemicals into beakers.

“…exactly my thoughts Natasha. It’s just so silly for her to-“ Jemma notices Maria (of course Natasha had as well but didn’t find it necessary to comment on her appearance, “Assistant Deputy Director, how lovely to see you!”

“Maria is just fine Jemma. I came to make sure that Natasha isn’t trying to corrupt you.” Maria leans on the doorframe and smiles at Natasha.

With a pout the woman in question replies, “Not from the lack of trying I assure you.”

The young scientist face begins to color a raspberry red, obviously thinking in a more adult mind set. Leaving Jemma to her thoughts Maria continues, “I didn’t know you were back in town.”

Natasha shrugs by, “I was bored. Anyway, I got a call from Tony telling me a new, cute, super power girl at the tower. Thought it was good to come back.”

Of course Natasha wouldn’t just admit that she missed her somewhat family. Or Maria. Who is in this weird half way place? But Maria doesn’t mind, she knows what Natasha meant.

“Well it’s good to have you back. But I would stay away from the girl unless you want the silent fury of May and the fatherly glare from Coulson.”

At this point Jemma realizes that the girl in question isn’t with Maria as usual, “Where is Skye?”

“Last time I saw she was leaving with Steve to go get breakfast. Did they never come back?” Maria watches as Jemma’s eyes grow wide in panic.

“Oh no.” Jemma pulls out her phone, “Coulson will not like this.” She begins to type a message quickly when she is done she looks at Maria, “I’m so sorry.”

“Maria how could you?” Is bellowed from some wear in the tower.

///

“She’ll never visit.” Coulson mopes.

Maria sighs in frustration, “ Phil. Skye is not going anywhere.”

“You,” he glares at Maria, “let her leave with Steve Rogers. Of course she’s going to stay.”

“Phil, she isn’t you. Steve will not-

The super solider and hacker in question drown out whatever Maria is saying with their laughter as they walk in. In Skye’s hands there were boxes of leftovers and in Steve’s a giant Panda Bear.

“Hey AC! Look at what Steve won me!” Skye gestures to the bear.

Coulson stares- clear confusion in his eyes. He’s still worried about Skye leaving but he’s also in awe that Captain has won his surrogate daughter a prize. This is one of his biggest dreams.

“I- I see that.” He’s able to manage.

Seeing his literal partner in crime Steve smiles at Natasha, “ Hey stranger.”

“Steve.” She blows a bubble with her gum before popping it, “How goes it?”

“Great. Skye and I have been going around on the bike this morning, she gave me some great advice about Sharon.” He deposits the bear on the ground, “I’m actually going to go call her.”

Before walking out of the door Steve turns around, “Thanks Skye. Lets do it again sometime.”

Happily Skye agrees, “That is one cool dude.” She looks at the people in the room and waves the boxes around, “We brought leftovers! Any takers?”

Natasha quickly reaches for the boxes, “Mine.”

“Best day ever, Steve Rogers takes me to breakfast and wins me a panda bear, then the Black Widow takes my food.” Skye fist bumps the air.

“Well,” Coulson, still edgy about Skye asks, “now that you’ve had your fun for the today how about you spend sometime with May and I? Down by the lake there is paddle boating.”

Before Skye can accept or decline Maria answers for her, “That sounds great!” Skye looks at her new mentor, “You know what take Jemma with you!”

“Oh! Sir I’m fine! Really there are some samples that-

“Come on Jem,” Skye walks towards Jemma, “it’s awesome outside. You’ll love it. Anyway, you can watch me make a fool of myself since I’ve never been paddle boating before.”

“Never been! Well now I have to go. Just give me a second to change.”

They file out of the room with smiles on their faces; Skye turns to Maria and gestures towards Natasha, who is eating cold pancakes, and winks before leaving the room.

Maria turns back to the Russian ex-spy, “So what did you get me from Paris?”

(Natasha swears nothing. But when Maria gets back to her room a medium sized box is on her desk. Inside laid a beautiful scarf the color of her jumpsuit, wrapped inside of the scarf is a knife. Natasha really knew the way to her heart.)

///

Everything is fine until Bruce showed up. At least for Maria. Thor is being a loveable puppy following Jane wherever she went. And after Tony tried to blow up his hammer Thor carried it with him at all times. Meaning that a lot of half eaten food is laying around from where he would drop it in favor of following Jane and holding her hand.

Darcy, Jane’s intern, fit right in with Clint, Lance, Trip, and Skye. Which is very concerning. Between the arrows, guns, tasers, and random tremors Maria realized she had never been in so much danger before.

Bobbi, Natasha, and May were in the kitchen talking about god knows what, but whatever it is it made laugh.

Then Bruce walks in with that beat up bag.

“Hey guys.”

All of the Avengers stood up to go say hello to their friend- Thor drags Jane along.

Bruce walks in with that beat up bag.

“Brucey!” Tony shouts, grabbing the small man by his shoulders,“Help us woo a girl to the dark side.” He points at Skye, “I already offered her cookies but she refused.”

Oh no.

“You want me to- I thought you and Pepper-

Double oh no.

Tony starts, “Yeah she’s hot and…”

There’s a crash from the kitchen, “You did what!”

That gets Maria’s attention

Bobbi rushes out of the kitchen, batons in hand, “Natasha calm down. It’s not like-

“I’m going to snap your wings Mockingbird!” Natasha launches at Bobbi.

What the actual fuck.

Maria turns to May, “What-

“Bobbi mentioned the time,” May raises an eyebrow and quirks a lip up,” you two spent together before joining our team.” May tells her.

With wide eyes Maria turns back to her fighting friends. “How did that even come up in conversation?!”

*Wham*

With a neck cracking turn of the neck Maria sees Tony’s head snap back as Coulson goes to punch him again. Steve grabs Coulson and pulls him away from Tony.

“I’m sure Tony doesn’t want to sleep with Skye, even though she is a lovely woman.” Coulson stops fidgeting and looks at his idol, “Any man or woman would be lucky to have her. But not me. I want Sharon.”

The fight between Bobbi and Natasha had for all purposes turned into a cat fight. They were rolling around, baton forgotten, and pulling hair.

“Holy shit. This is kind of hot.” Darcy comments.

That entire group in the corner nods their heads without taking their eyes off of the women.

Lance says, “Black Widow might be deadly and gorgeous but I think Bobbi can take her. Bobbi’s always been good at being catty.”

The two rolling woman roll over Tony, who is still on the ground, injuring him more in the process.

“Ow! Get off me!”

The unfortunate sound of teeth hitting teeth comes to her attention. KNowing before even looking Maria turns to Thor and Jane, who were making out. Both of his hands in her hair while her hands were under his shirt… but they seemed to be moving lower?

Please. God no.

Is Maria the only sane person left? May had left, probably to inform Victoria and Isabella ( and maybe her mom) of what is going on and to correct the bets they had put on her and Natasha. Coulson is still reeling because of Steve talking to him and the rest were too cowardly to stop the fighting women.

“Hey!” Maria shouts. No one, of course, notices her.

Maria walks over to Bobbi and Natasha, “Oi! You guys I swear-

She falls.

Maria trips and falls on that god damn Hammer Thor had dropped on the ground, next to a slice of half eaten pizza, in favor of making out with Jane.

Without thinking Maria gets to her feet and picks up the Hammer, “Everyone calm the fuck down!”

Everyone stops- staring at Maria in awe (In the back of her mind she hears May disconnecting her call, “Tori? I’ll call you back.”)

Maria begins pacing the room, “I can’t believe you guys! Seriously.” She points at Natasha, “Will you stop trying to choke Bobbi? Bobbi, stop pulling Natasha’s hair. Stark! Get up and stop being a baby.”

She turns to Coulson, “Coulson stop acting like an over cautious dad. Skye is not going to leave you for Christ sake! And will one someone please take the monkey Fitz has been hiding in his room!” She flings her hands causing the Hammer to get lodged in the wall.

The crack of the wall caused everyone to jump including Maria. She looks at the Hammer and then at her hands,”Was I?”

The entire room of people nods their head.

“Well,” Maria tugs the Hammer out of the wall, “I expect this all to be cleaned up and the monkey to be gone before I wake up.” With her head held high Maria walks to the door, dropping the Hammer at Thor’s feet as she passes him.

“Aunt Peggy and Angie would be proud of her.” Tony mumbles as he watches Maria walk away.

Still upset with Bobbi about sleeping with Maria Natasha can only let out a huff, “Like mothers like daughter.”