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Secrets and Doubts

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Their relationship had started months ago. And she knew she should feel guilty, after all he was the boyfriend of one of her best friends. But in his arms none of that mattered. Not who he was, nor who she was. The only thing that mattered was that she kept seeing him.

At first she had tried so very hard to deny the attraction she had felt for him but it had only gotten harder every day. And then one day he had placed his hand at the small of her back to guide her through the door and it had felt as if an electrical current had struck her. Every nerve ending in her body had come alive. It was almost as if her body had been dormant for all those years just waiting for his touch. Even though she knew she shouldn’t, she couldn’t resist the temptation he presented any longer.


She quickly turned around to see Angel step from the shadows. Her eyes lit up at the sight. He was the most gorgeous man she had ever seen. Granted it wasn’t as if she had known a lot of them. But still Angel beat them all. She was mesmerized as he walked towards her. His dark eyes seemed to look right through to her soul almost as if he could see the doubts hidden within.

“Angel.” She couldn’t stop herself from meeting him half way.

As his arms came around her body and pulled her close, all the doubts she might have had disappeared. This, what they had when they were together, was worth any price she had to pay later.

“I was beginning to think you wouldn’t come tonight.”

Her body trembled as his words whispered against her hair. “I’m sorry I was late. I had a hard time getting away. I think people are starting to suspect.” She looked around as if someone might be hiding in the trees ready to jump out at a moment’s notice and yell “Ah Ha!”

“Shh.” Angel kissed the top of her head. He knew there was only one person Willow was worried about starting to suspect what they were doing. “Relax, baby. No one is here but you and me. No one knows about us and as long as we’re careful no one ever will.”

As he nuzzled her cheek, Willow understood exactly what Angel was saying without actually saying it. She would get the one thing she had always wanted if she could keep it a secret

Willow had every reason to go along with keeping their rendezvous a secret. Not just because of who Angel was seeing but she was also in a relationship. She closed her eyes against the moment of pain that shot through her body. At times she couldn’t believe she was actually doing this to him but then Angel would...

“Come back to me, baby.” He ran his tongue down the length of her neck and up again to the shell of her ear. “Where were you?” Although if he knew his witch and he did, her guilty conscience was rearing its ugly head again. He really needed to fix that.

“Maybe we should stop...”

Son of a bitch! Not this again! It seemed as if every few days or so she was willing to put a stop to this thing they had going on. Angel quickly interrupted before she could finish. He had worked too long and too damn hard to get what he wanted to stop now. He let his arms drop to his sides and immediately took a step back. “If that’s what you want. I don’t want to force you into doing anything you don’t want to do, Willow. I thought you wanted me as badly as I wanted you. But if I was wrong tell me and I’ll let you go. I’ll walk out of your life and you’ll never have to see me again. Ever. Is that what you want?”

Tears filled her eyes as she thought about never seeing Angel again, never getting to touch him, feel his caresses on her body, taste his kisses. No! She couldn’t let him go. She wouldn’t! No matter what she had to do, and God forgive her no matter who it hurt she wouldn’t give Angel up.

She shook her head as tears rushed down her cheeks. Without warning she threw herself into Angel’s arms. “Don’t let me go. I can’t lose you.”

A wicked smile pulled across his face as Angel wrapped his arms around her unresisting body and pulled her close. Within moments his lips were devouring hers, he demanded she surrendered. He took, she gave in. His hands roamed her body, seeking beneath her pants to the vulnerable spot hidden there. She was so warm, and as his fingers could attest so wet and so willing he knew he could have had her right there in the midst of the cemetery but of course that wouldn’t do. They couldn’t get caught.

“Willow.” He whispered her name against her lips.


“I want you. Do you want me?”

“God, yes!” Her voice was husky with desire as she gave him the answer he wanted.

“Come with me to the mansion.” Angel waited silently; this was the telling moment.

Willow pulled back to look into his eyes. There weren’t any more doubts lingering in her eyes as she answered him. She knew now in Angel’s arms, no matter how long the time, was exactly where she belonged. “Okay.”

The significance of her answer wasn’t lost on him. This was the first time since they had began their relationship that she had agreed without question. With a low growl, he claimed her lips once more before taking her hand and leading the way to the mansion.


As she turned her head to make sure no one was watching them, Willow missed the seductive look fade from his eyes to be replaced by one of possession. This wasn’t the Angel she thought was her lover. If she had only turned to look in his eyes she would have been able to see Angelus lurking in their depths. But she remained blissfully unaware as she let him lead her towards the mansion.