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Taako locked the front door behind him and dropped his keys onto the table in the landing. Glowing sunlight streamed in through the windows. He came back from work right at the golden hour. Another day running his school while the day ticked by without him.
Taako sighed. No-one else was home today. No Kravitz greeting him with a hug, no Agnus scurrying to his side to tell him about a new spell he's learning, no Lup cooking in the kitchen with Barry reading at the table. But it was fine. Taako could handle being home alone for one night; he wasn't a child.
Still, he hated the thick, heavy silence that permeated the house. The old grandfather clock ticked while his heartbeat pulsed. And if he listened very, very closely, he could hear himself blink. He listened to the mechanisms of his body, tirelessly determined to keep him alive. Where did they get the motivation?
Maybe he would feel guilt for how he treated his body, but his body didn't feel like his. No, his body was taken away by grabbing hands and a curse from Wonderland. Now he navigated with the vessel of a stranger. He didn't know the person in the mirror, but it sure as hell wasn't him. In the empty, soundless home, he was forced to listen to his thoughts. He half-considered asking Carey and Killian if they were free to hang out, but decided against it.
See, he wasn't desperate really. Not enough to admit it. He dropped his bag on the floor unceremoniously and trudged up the staircase. How was he this tired already? The sun hadn't even set yet.
Taako ran his hand along the wall. Back when he first bought the house, he commissioned an artist from Hazelsheen to make the wallpaper. He had the newfound riches to afford it, after all. The result was a unique and detailed collage of motifs from his adventures, like a little painted mongoose family and extinct plants they found in other worlds. He was so happy with the result that he dropped his aloof attitude for a moment to give the artist and enthusiastic thank you.
Even now, the pictures gave him a small amount of comfort. It was the life that brought him here after all, so it made sense to pay homage to it in his home. Though he was afraid that something bad would happen, like the house burning down and bringing the beautiful mural with it. He supposed fear was the sacrifice he made for love.
Taako reached the bedroom he shared with Kravitz. It was one of his favourite corners of the world - a cosy room with arched windows and a soft rug on the floor. He was about to collapse on his side of the bed when he noticed a folded-up note on his pillow. Immediately his heart sank. Notes were not a good sign in his eyes, not after Lup's broken promise to be "Back soon". He sat on the side of the bed and unfolded the parchment. It was Kravitz's handwriting. Maybe he's done with you already, a voice in his mind sneered. Oh stop being such a drama queen, Taako replied. Still, something itched in his brain, so he forced himself to read.
Dearest Taako,
Sweet as honey as always; if it were anyone else he would be fake-gagging.
I'm sorry I've been staying at work so late recently. Lup and Barry too. A colleague has retired so we're picking up on the slack until he gets replaced.
This opened many questions for Taako, such as "How exactly does a grim reaper retire?" and "Why can't the literal Goddess of Death find someone to work for her?" Okay, maybe that last one answered itself. He kept reading.
I suppose I left this letter because it's easier to write what I feel rather than say it out loud.
Uh-oh.
I miss you, …
I miss you too, my man, but I saw you last morning!!
… and I'm worried about you. I know you've been struggling as of late.
Ha! More than the usual level of struggling.
I couldn't be more glad you told me, told anyone instead of bottling it up, but I feel like you've been pulling away from me ever since. You said that you need help and you're scared of yourself. I promised I would do all I could to make you feel better. You admitted that you have a problem clear as day, and I'm so grateful that you came to me. But now when I try to talk to you about your mental health, you dismiss it and say there's nothing wrong.
I know you don't think I'm stupid. You know I don't buy it. So why do you lie? I don't want to be able to turn a blind eye and pretend that you're okay. I want you to genuinely be okay, whatever it takes. But there's only so much I can do unless you acknowledge the issue too.
I can't even write down how much I care about you, but I do, so so much. I will always be there if you need to talk about anything in the world, in the same way you've always been there for me.
With everlasting love,
Taako couldn't read further as his eyes blurred with tears. They fell onto the page, which he clutched tightly in his hands. He didn't know whether to hold the letter to his chest or throw it into the fireplace. All he knew was that it hurt; it hurt so much in his head and heart and lungs. He sat in the quiet of the house, silence only broken by his sniffles. And the old grandfather clock ticked on downstairs, and pain was the price he paid for love.