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Give Me Weed Instead of Roses

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Jensen Ackles considered himself a very lucky man. He had a job that he loved, and said job had brought two of the best friends he’d ever had into his life.

Jared Padalecki, overgrown puppy from hell, and brother from another mother. Misha Collins, insane brilliant conniving asshole, and someone so close to Jensen he couldn’t seem to put it into words. Friendship with Jared was easy - it was barbecues and buying houses on the same street, watching each other’s children and pulling pranks on the cast and crew, spending holidays with each other’s families - but Misha was something altogether different. Misha turned his world upside down and made him think and rethink things he’d never considered before.

Together, the three of them were trouble - no getting around it. Clif refused to drive more than two of them at a time. Bob hated scenes all three of them were in.

But Jensen loved them both so much.

And now, here they were, spread across the sofa and recliner in Jensen’s trailer, one bottle of whiskey down and another on the way.

Jared giggled. He was lying on the floor, spread eagle, hair half hidden by one of his stupid beanies. He was watching Misha and giggling.

"Grow the fuck up," Jensen told him, downing what was left of the whiskey in his glass. "You act like you've never seen pot before."

Misha snorted, attention utterly focused on the joint he was carefully rolling. "Aw, he's a sweet Texas Mama's boy. Maybe he hasn't." He winked at Jensen.

Misha fuckin' Collins had no right to be that damn sexy.

"I've seen pot before! I've done pot before. Lots of pot. So many," Jared started giggling again.

"Please try not to quote my child when we're having grown up time."

That just succeeded in making Jared giggle harder.

"Dude. Chill. Be a little mature."

More giggles.

"I'm of the opinion that the tall one has had enough already," Misha said, finishing one joint and beginning the process of forming another.

"Aw, Mish-y, don't be mean. I'm just a poor hapless moosey," Jared got up on his hands and knees and crawled across the floor, lying his head on Misha's knee. "Please?" He turned the Sammy puppy dog eyes on Misha. "Puhlease?"

Grinning, Misha shoved Jared off his lap, chuckling when he hit the floor with an oof. "Behave yourself and I'll consider it." He gave Jared one of the most Cas-like looks Jensen had ever seen him use outside of filming. "Can you behave for me, Jared?"

Jensen didn't think Jared picked up on the darkness in Misha's tone, but Jensen damn well did, and it made a curl of heat unfurl in his belly. He watched Misha's long, slender fingers roll the joint with the utmost care, thinking about other things those fingers did well.

"Why are we doing this here anyway, when we all three have nice, comfortable places off set?"

"Because all three of us are too drunk to drive and Clif already went home," Misha told Jared.

"Oh. Well that's a good reason." Jared pulled himself to his feet and plopped down on the couch beside Jensen. "Tell 'im to hurry up, Jen," Jared pleaded, dropping his head to Jensen's shoulder.

"Hurry up, Misha," Jensen parroted.

"I'm done. Who wants it first?" Misha put the spliff in his mouth and flicked a Zippo to life.

One of Dean's, Jensen though idly. He watched Misha's sweet pink lips pucker around the white paper as he dragged air in, lighting the cherry up stop-light red.

"Me," Jared demanded, reaching for the joint. He took a long, slow drag, filling his lungs and holding it. "Mmm, yeah," he murmured, passing it off to Jensen and leaning back on the couch before releasing the smoke from his lungs.

"Damn. Didn't even cough. This something you do all the time, Jare?"

Jared turned his head to the side and grinned at Jensen. "Gen likes it," he said simply. "Makes her horny as fuck, man. Insatiable. She gets up on me and rides me to hell. It's fantastic."

"Oversharing, buddy," Jensen smiled, taking his own long drag off the joint before passing it to Misha. He held the thick, earthy smoke in his lungs for as long as possible before releasing.

"Personally, I'd love some more oversharing," Misha grinned, releasing his own cloud of smoke. "What's Gen like in bed, Jared? Wild? Submissive?"

"No way, man," Jared dragged on the joint and passed it off to Jensen again. "I've had a lot of submissive girls and I like that, but damn. Gen - never thought I had a submissive bone in my body until she showed up. Fuck, love it when she tells me what to do. She likes to lay me out flat on the bed, tie my hands to the headboard and ride my face. Fuck, man, I've come untouched with her doing that."

"Wonder you don't have more children," Misha teased, and both he and Jared cracked up.

Jensen flushed. Blatant sex talk always had that effect on him. He was sure that was why Jared and Misha did it. He thought they both loved seeing him blush; Jared because it was funny, Misha because he thought it was hot.

As if he could hear his thoughts, Misha zeroed in on Jensen. "Awfully quiet over there. Nothing to add about Danneel?"

"Aw, you know, man. That's private."

"Yeah?" Jared turned his head slowly, pupils big and dilated. "Then what's Misha like in bed?"

"Ja-Jared -"

"Oh come on. I know all about your little arrangement with Mish and the wives. It's hot, dude. Gen and I - we're all about the monogamy, but it's hot. You and Mish. Sometimes I think I'd like to watch."

Jensen's heart skipped a beat in his chest.

Misha very calmly lit another joint, stood, and poured a tumbler full of Johnnie Walker and handed it to Jensen, who sucked the whole thing down without thinking. “That could be arranged. I’d recommend permission from your wife first.”

Jensen’s heart pounded in his chest.

“Nah, look. I’m down with what you guys have, but Gen and me? We’re good. Real good.” Jared pulled himself unsteadily to his feet. “Jenny, you better have snacks in here. Fuckin’ hungry.” He opened cabinets, searching for food.

“I wouldn’t make you do anything you didn’t want to,” Misha said softly, his voice masked by Jared’s pillaging. “You know that, right?”


“Good.” He cupped Jensen’s chin in his hand, and Jensen leaned into the touch, eyelids fluttering shut. He gave himself over to Misha’s gentle touches, Jared crunching loudly in the background. “Take another drag,” Misha directed, holding the joint to Jensen’s lips.

He took a long pull of the spliff, holding the smoke in his lungs for as long as he could. Misha did the same, and after Jensen let go, he held the joint to Jensen’s lips again. He did it again another time after that. Jensen drank the whiskey he was offered and let his head loll back against the couch.

Everything took on a very surreal glow.

Jared sat in the middle of his floor, taking hits off the joint Misha was holding to his lips in between large handfuls of chips and cookies.

“Someone should take their clothes off,” Misha laughed, his voice sounding very far away.

Then he was back, straddling Jensen’s lap with another joint. He took a deep breath, sucking smoke into his lungs. Misha pulled Jensen’s face close as he exhaled, lips almost touching, and Jensen sucked the smoke into his own lungs. “Take your clothes off,” Misha instructed, “take everything off.”

It seemed like a good idea. Jensen stood, pulled Dean’s black tee over his head and tossed it to the side. He undid his jeans and pushed them down and stepped out of them. Boxers went next, and he sat back down, calm and naked.

“Whoa,” Jared sat up, crumbs all over his face. “Y’naked, Jenny,” he smiled. “You got a nice body for a dude.”

Jensen smiled at the nickname he only tolerated when he and Jared were wasted. “Yeah. Yeah, I’m naked. Feels good. Naked. Nak-ed,” he grinned. “Mishie, where’d my clothes go? I lost my clothes.”

“Yes, you did,” Misha smiled.

“Fuck, Mish, you got the prettiest fucking smile.” He looked over to Jared, who was grinning ear to ear. “You’re fucking pretty, too, Jare, but I don’t wanna fuck you. Nah. Like fuckin’ my brother. Jus’ weird.” His words were slurring more and more, and he was aware he was tipping sideways on the couch.

“Jared, unless you want to watch me fuck Jensen over the back of that couch, I suggest you leave right now.”

“Ok! Alright. Imma call Gen and phone sex her. Ok? Ok.” With what looked like a monumental effort, Jared got to his feet, his tall frame wavering slightly. “I can do this!” he declared, making both Misha and Jensen giggle.

“Go, Jared, go!” Jensen cheered.

Jared worked his way over to the trailer door and promptly fell out. “I’m ok!” he yelled. “I’m good! I’m awesome! Imma find my trailer!” He slammed the door shut. “Always keep fighting!” he yelled through the closed door. They could hear him laughing as he walked away.

“That boy is insane,” Misha grinned.

“Yeah, but he’s my boy,” Jensen grinned back. He stared down at his naked body. “Mish,” he whispered, “I’m naked!”

“I’m aware.” Misha undid the button on his jeans. “I was thinking maybe I’d get naked, too.”

“Ok,” Jensen agreed. He watched as Misha tugged his own tee over his head, then slid his jeans down his legs, leaving nothing behind but a well fitting pair of black boxer briefs. Jensen reached out and ran his hand up the inside of Misha's stupidly fit thighs, reveling in the play of toned muscles underneath his skin. "Fuck. So fuckin' hot, Mish."

"Mmm, you wanna do this here or on your bed? No, I take that back. Get up and get on the bed, hands and knees."

Jensen groaned. "Fuck, yes, Mish."

"Go, on, go. Be my good boy."

Misha's words went straight to Jensen's cock, his pulse pounding as blood rushed south. He stood on shaky legs and walked to his bed, aware of Misha making noises and shutting off lights behind him. Dropping to his knees on the mattress, he put his hands flat and assumed the position Misha demanded.

"What's your word, sweetheart?" Misha purred, running his hand down Jensen's flank.


"Alright. Close your eyes."

Jensen obeyed instantly, smiling to himself when a tie was wrapped around his eyes.

"Is this ok?" Misha asked, as he knotted the tie against the back of Jensen's head.

"Mmmhmm, yes," Jensen answered, already slipping into that headspace where Misha made him fly. Hands spread his cheeks apart and Misha licked a hot stripe across his asshole. “Oh, fuck!” Jensen cried out, pushing his ass back into Misha’s face.

“Hold still or I’ll stop.”

Whimpering, he forced his hips to stop moving, and Misha made an approving sound in the back of his throat before getting back to work. He pointed his tongue and pushed inside, slipping a finger in as well. Misha worked Jensen over, played him like an instrument.

“Don’t come,” he growled.


“You heard me. Don’t fuckin’ come.” Misha went back to work, sliding a second finger inside of him. “You know, Dani told me this is her favorite part of when the four of us are together. She loves watching you fall apart on my fingers, on my tongue.” He added a third finger while Jensen fought desperately to hold still. “She loves watching this. She loves watching me fuck you.”

Jensen couldn’t get any words out, just breathy little gasps and moans.

“Vicki, on the other hand, loves watching you fuck Dani. She loves watching Dani come undone. You know what I love? I love watching you eat out my wife. That’s beautiful, Jensen.” He heard the snick of a cap behind him, and Misha’s fingers were pushing lube into his stretched hole. “She gets this look on her face. Her breath comes in these short little pants, and damn, Jen, when she comes. Vicki looks like she’s seen God.”

Jensen cried out as Misha’s fingers dragged over his prostate, every muscle clenching as waves of pleasure rolled over his body.

“Don’t you dare come,” Misha ordered.

“Misha, I can’t, I can’t - oh fuck, please. I can’t!”

A hand wrapped around the base of his dick, squeezing tight. Misha’s arm wrapped around Jensen’s waist and pulled him upright. “You’re so flushed, red all over. Dripping down the back of your neck and across your shoulders,” Misha kissed Jensen’s neck, “so lovely.”

Misha eased himself inside of Jensen, thick and hard, and pulled Jensen back against his chest. “You are so fucking sexy,” he whispered. “I wanted you the day I met you. And lucky fucking me, not only do I get to have you, I get to have Vicki and Danneel, too. I’m the luckiest man on Earth, do you know that?”

Overwhelmed, overstimulated, and desperate to come, Jensen could only nod, tears leaking from his eyes. Misha knew which buttons to push and he pushed them like a pro. Jensen knew he must look a mess, cock hard and leaking all over the bed while Misha held him tight against his chest, powerful runner’s thighs slamming into him over and over again. The slick sound of bodies colliding and Jensen’s breathy gasps were the only sounds in the room.

“Missshhh,” Jensen moaned.

“Ssh, I’ve got you.” He stopped, reached for something behind him, almost pulling Jensen off balance. A second later, a joint was being held between his lips. “Take a drag,” Misha purred, and Jensen complied, almost choking as Misha slowly rolled his hips. “Hmm. Do you think pot would have the same effect on our girls it does on Gen? Imagine the two of them holding us down and having their way with us.”

Jensen’s dick twitched.

“Oh, you like that idea?”


“Mmm, me too. Here, have some more?” Misha made Jensen take several more hits before he set the joint aside. He kept up a slow, gentle rhythm the entire time, languidly fucking Jensen. “Does this feel good?”

“Fuck, Mish, you know - you know it does. Oh fuck. Fuck, Mish.”

Misha’s hand curled around Jensen’s waist, fingers wrapping around Jensen’s cock as he picked up speed. "Do you know what it does to me to know I'm the only man who's ever done this to you? That I'm the only man who's ever been inside you? Wanna come, baby?”

“Yes, fuck, yes, please, please!”

“Are you close?”

“Yeah, Jesus, Mish, can’t take it, please, c’mon!”

His rhythm was almost punishing, driving into Jensen hard, and Misha chuckled in Jensen’s ear, stroking his cock in time with his thrusts into Jensen. “Come,” he murmured.

Jensen screamed Misha’s name and his head fell back as his body let go, limbs going slack with his release. Misha wasn’t far behind him, heat filling Jensen’s ass as he came.

“Fuckkkk,” Jensen whined.

Misha chuckled again, reaching up to undo the makeshift blindfold. He eased out of Jensen, turning him carefully to lay flat on the bed. He pulled the soiled bedspread off and tossed it to the side.

“You ok?”

“Mmmm,” Jensen hummed. “M’great. Fuckin’ great.”

He heard Misha walk across the room and fetch a wet washcloth, and he smiled as Misha wiped his body down. A moment later, Misha was lifting him into his arms, holding him while he made him drink a bottle of water. He gently laid Jensen back in the pillows.

“Feel good?”

“Feel great. M’floatin’. Fuck, Mish, love you so much.”

“Love you, too.” Misha shut off the last of the lights. He laid down beside Jensen and pulled him into his arms. “Sleep well, beautiful.”

Jensen burrowed into Misha’s side, content and sleepy. He was almost there, just about to drop off when Misha spoke again.

“Next time, we should really let Jared watch.”