‘Sometimes enough is enough, even for the most hardened soldier’
Crosshair was miffed. Totally riled up, utterly vexed and feeling really, really irritated at the very moment.
Well, it wasn’t really new for him, these kinds of feelings. Not really. But especially today, it seemed that his feelings, his emotions, had become somewhat elevated. And maintaining his sense of calm was becoming harder and harder. Remaining objective and on the side lines, impossible at best.
And the reason? Well…
As it was, the latest mission, while a total success in the eyes of the Empire? Well, it had been totally contrary in Crosshair’s book! It had all sucked, royally!. And not in the good kind of feeling way either! The mission, the end results of the mission, all of it!
Pacing in his cramped quarters, the ever growing impatience present there. And Crosshair was fuming. Literally. Smoke almost visible around him. Yammering on about what he really thought about the latest stint was all Crosshair could do though. There, in the supposed privacy of his room.
“Who the kark does Rampart think he is? What the kriff were those last minute order changes about anyway?”
There were more questions than answers in Crosshair’s mind as he kept on reeling the same scenes of the mission over and over again. Speaking out loud to himself.
“Your loyalty and determination are commendable!”
The words of the Admiral’s still ringing fresh in Crosshair’s mind.
“Yeah right! As if that bastard really cared about any of it! Loyalties? For whom? For the Empire? For Rampart? My shebs! None of them care about anyone except themselves! The fat tookas they are!”
Yeah, it had been that kind of a mission.
Crosshair having prepared the plan good and well before hand. Then having given the specs to his squad. On what to do. The best tactics for it.
Only everything to have been scratched by the Vice Admiral just as they had been on approach to their target location and then replaced by a completely new set of orders!
What an utter waste!
“What the kark is the point in all this? What does the work matter if they simply go and change everything? And to what end? More corpses to be stacked? It made no sense at all!”
Crosshair felt defeated. His yammering slowly but surely simmering down, before a whisper escaped his lips.
“What do I matter?”
Crosshair knew he had it in him though.
To be a good soldier, but also to be a great Commander. Hadn’t he already proven all that? Pulling out several successful missions, all of which he himself had made the plans for and executed them to the letter with the Admiral’s stamp of approval of course. Wasn’t that the reason for the accolades?
But, no. And this wasn’t the first time either. It had actually been happening more frequently during the recent months. The plans being subverted at the very last minute. As if the trust in Crosshair’s abilities were somehow gone. Or was there something more to it?
This was the reason behind Crosshair having started doubting his own usefulness in the grand scheme of things. In the Empire.
Being just another clone, another cog in the machine? That had not been the plan now had it? No, the plan had been being a part of something bigger, being someone needed, someone better.
“They are only using you. Can’t you see that?”
Hunter’s words playing there somewhere. The warning of his Batch mate issued some time ago popping up more and more frequently as well.
So what had gone wrong then? For Crosshair and his big plans?
“None of them care! Not one single kark of the lot cares about me!”
Because that was the whole point of it all now wasn’t it?
For Crosshair to be someone. Not just another clone. A creation of of something which no longer existed. But a person of his very own. Not part of some group or team. But someone special. Someone to be revered. Someone to be needed. The Commander, Commander Crosshair.
But right now, it did not look that way at all. And most likely, things were not going to improve for Crosshair either. Not if the rumours were any true.
And with the Empire, the rumours, especially the rumours, were always true.