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Grocery Cart Madness

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I’m so utterly, completely, and totally wasted. And guessing by the deafening laugh coming from my right, Bokuto was too.

Fucking sweet.

We had gone out tonight to celebrate… to celebrate…. Uh, to celebrate. And after about five hours of sitting at this bar, I’d say we’ve accomplished our goal. But, we’re not done yet. Oh no. My clouded mind may not help with good planning, and my sense of balance may be completely gone; but Bokuto’s here, so what’s the worst that could happen.

Well, the worst that could happen would probably be jail, but we’ve already been there and done that (Akaashi always comes through) so we know how to deal if that happens again. I will never make the same mistake of calling Kenma, because the biting sarcastic humor he texted at me weeks afterwards cut me to the bone. Also he hung up when I called him from prison to ask for bail, how rude is that?



Bokuto glanced over at me with his huge-ass owl eyes. “Yeah Kurbro?”

I threw back the rest of my drink and slammed some cash onto the table. “Let’s roll.”

By ‘lets roll’ I assumed we would be a little faster than both of us stumbling over each other to get off the stools, and falling through the doorway that was not made for two broad-shouldered people to leave at the same time, but I take what I can get.

“So, what are we going to do?” Bokuto’s question came as he was hanging off my shoulder, both of us making our way down the darkened streets.

I thought for a moment, before grinning widely when I spot a grocery store. “I’ve got just the idea.”

Twenty blurry minutes later and we were standing outside holding a couple of grocery bags filled with hundreds of plastic forks, dozens of cans of silly string. Sitting at our feet were two huge packs of toilet paper.

Bokuto got more and more distressed as he looked at all of our purchases. “How are we gonna get to Akaashi’s house with all this stuff?” He asked.

“Wait here for a second.” I ran off and got a grocery cart, wheeling it over to Bokuto and throwing all of our stuff in.

I nodded at our new ride. “Hop in bro.”

He climbed in, his brow furrowed. “Isn’t this stealing?”

I smiled. “Nah, its borrowing because we’ll bring back the cart later.”

Bokuto’s face lit up and he fist bumped me. With that we were off. I dug my heel into the ground before pushing off hard, throwing myself and the cart into a full-speed sprint, Bokuto gripping the sides hard and screaming as we went. Akaashi’s house was pretty far away, but when I’m with my bro we can do anything.

I was dripping sweat by the time we got there, the cart rattling and Bokuto’s screams reduced to light hooting. I tried to shush him as we went down the street, but my shushing came out as a gently shouted “SHUT UP”. It couldn’t be helped.

We rolled up to Akaashi’s house, stealth mode on. Bokuto had commando rolled out of the cart (fell out of the cart) and was ready for business. We both slowed as we approached the vista.

The vista that currently had two very unimpressed shadows standing in it.

“Bokuto, Kuroo, what are you doing?” Akaashi’s calm voice sent twin chills down both our spines. My eyes widened when I realized the other shadow was Kenma.

We floundered before I yelled. “ABORT.”

We both sprang into action. Bokuto quickly rolled across the lawn opposite to Akaashi’s, trying to hide behind some bushes but got caught in them in the process. I took the cart and started dashing back down the street before one of the wheels locked, flipping me and the cart over.

Once Kenma came to stand over my bleeding and bruised body, and I saw Bokuto being pulled out of the thorns by Akaashi, I knew we had been defeated.


“But honestly, what were you two thinking?” Akaashi asked as he dressed my scraped knee. Bokuto sat beside me with multiple owl-themed band aids on his skin where the thorns had torn through. He would only accept owl band aids.

Bokuto grinned. “I don’t know. But it was awesome, right Kurbro?”

I slapped his raised hand and linked our fingers together. “Hell yeah Brokuto!!”

Our lips met in a sloppy kiss, the alcohol that was still lingering in our systems making it hard to coordinate our faces. Akaashi grimaced as we furiously made out in front of him, and he quickly finished wrapping up my wound.

“Please don’t make out in my house.” Akaashi frowned at our display before turning to leave us in the living room. Kenma followed after him, psp in hand.

“Wait!” I yelled after them, watching as they both turned back around with wary looks in their eyes.

I looked hard at my best friend before asking. “Kenma, why are you here?”

A furious blush lit up Kenma’s face, and he quickly scurried out of the room. Akaashi cleared his throat before replying. “Kenma is sleeping over.”

Akaashi kicked us out of the house after that, and Bokuto and I were left on the doorway with huge grins on our faces.

“Our best friends are together dude.” Bokuto’s voice rang through the quiet night. I looked over at his flushed face and his ruffled clothing, linking our fingers back together.

“Yeah they are.” I agreed.

We started walking down to the sidewalk, before looking at the cart that sat at the end of Akaashi’s driveway.

I smirked over at him. “So, want to go use this stuff on Daichi’s house?”

Bokuto pressed a hard kiss on my cheek before running to grab the cart. “I call pushing it this time!”