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A Funny Thing Happened With Thor's Hammer

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Just outside of a small town in New Mexico, Agent Coulson and several other SHIELD agents set up a base around a mysterious object that had fallen to Earth. No one had been told what the object was, but upon closer inspection, it became clear that a strange looking hammer lodged itself into the ground with enough force to cause a crater to form around it. Coulson, ever the diligent agent, asked no questions but his curiosity was strong.

As leader of the project, he had a perimeter set up to keep out any unwanted civilians. When it was discovered, they had taken to trying to pry it from the ground by any means necessary to no avail. That was the source of Agent Coulson’s curiosity. He dealt with hundreds of odd things as a member of SHIELD but a hammer that couldn’t be lifted no matter how strong a person was or what tools were used was intriguing. It reminded him of the stories of Norse mythology he read as a child. The hammer of Thor that could only be lifted by one who was worthy.

Every day he would oversee experiments and tests being performed on it, scans being run, and the occasional low level agent trying to pull it from the hard Earth it was stuck in like it was Excalibur. Not a one managed to budge it even a millimeter. Then there was the day with a so-called Dr. Donald Blake.

He arrived on the premises, fighting off highly trained SHIELD agents with a level of skill equal to that of their top assassins, Barton and Romanoff. Coulson was impressed. He thought if anyone could pull the hammer from its prison, it would be this guy. So, rather than immediately letting Barton take him out from his perch, he gave him a shot. He waited and watched as the man with the god-like muscles and long, blonde hair wrapped his hands around the leather-upholstered handle and poured all of his strength into trying to wrench it free. To his and ‘Blake’s’ dismay, he was also unable to lift it.

Coulson started to believe that the hammer would never be freed and planned to inform Director Fury of the failure by the end of the week. However, one night, his avid interest managed to get the better of him.

There were only a few agents left on the grounds as many of them had been sent to get some rest on Coulson’s orders. They’d been working hard for days with little results and he hated seeing them so worn and sleep-deprived. It was then, when no one was around to see, that Agent Phil Coulson walked to the center of the base and stood before the mighty, unmovable hammer.

With his hands in his pockets, he looked around to see if he was being watched and when he confirmed that he wasn’t, he grabbed the handle with one hand. He hesitated, staring down at his white knuckles and coiled fingers, thinking that trying was ridiculous. If that other guy with all his strength couldn’t pick up the hammer, what chance did he have? That thought only deterred him for a moment. He had to know so he tightened his grip and pulled, expecting no real result.

As he lifted up, he felt the hammer move with him, rising out of the solid ground until it was no longer constrained. In the same moment, the sky started to darken and he could hear a crack of thunder rumble in the distance.

“Huh,” he said to himself, looking down at the head of the weapon. It felt lighter in his hand than he expected.

As he examined it, turning it over, a flash of blue light began to carve words into a flat face of the hammer. He read them as they appeared: Whosoever holds this hammer, if he be worthy, shall possess the power of Thor. They only appeared long enough for him to read and soak in the inscription. The power of Thor. In his hands. He turned it over one last time, shrugged, and set it back in the center of the crater, exactly where he pulled it from.

“I’d better inform Fury,” he said, walking away from the power that could’ve been his. “Thor is on his way.”