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Underground Kitty Litter

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Foggy. Foggy. Foggy. Foggy.

Matt groaned and rolled over, fumbling for his phone.

“Foggy? What time is it?”

“I dunno, like three or something. But dude, I found-”

“Don’t you have a test? Why are you still out?”

“Whatever man, this is so much more important! I found a cat and you’re gonna help me sneak it into the dorm.”

“A cat? Foggy, how drunk are you?”

“Only a little. Meet me outside in ten minutes.” He hung up.

Matt laid in his bed, contemplating whether or not he should actually help Foggy with this ridiculous scheme. He came to the conclusion that Foggy would probably end up waking the entire dorm if left alone with a cat, and so got up and put a coat on before going to meet his friend outside.

True to his word, Foggy was waiting outside the dorm, a rapid heartbeat in his arms that could only be the cat. Foggy’s grip on the animal was surprisingly gentle given how drunk he was, and the cat was purring.

“Here, hold her,” Foggy said, shoving the cat into Matt’s arms. “No, not like that, like you’re holding a baby. You’ve never held a baby, have you? Well, just support her bottom. I’m gonna go… make sure the coast is clear.” The last sentence came out slurred in his drunken excitement. He hurried into the building, leaving Matt to figure out how to manage both his cane and the cat during the walk back to their room.

When he finally made it back to the room, cat tucked under one arm and cane tapping awkwardly in front of him, he nearly walked straight into Foggy. His friend was filling a cardboard box with kitty litter that he had procured from who knows where. Setting the cat down, Matt stepped towards his bed and directly into a bowl of water.

“Oh shit, sorry, meant to move that,” Foggy said, pulling the bowl out from under his foot and setting it in the corner.

“Where did you find the kitty litter?” Matt asked. He pulled the now-soaked shoe and sock off, moved to his bed and put on a new pair of socks.

"Guy down the hall's running an underground pet supplies distribution. Wouldn't have thought there'd be a market for that here, but he sure had a lot of stuff." Matt wasn’t as surprised, since he knew about every one of the dorm’s illicit animals. He couldn’t exactly say that, so instead he crawled into his bed and turned his back to Foggy.

“Go figure. Goodnight, Foggy.”

“Night, Matt.”

Matt was almost asleep again when the covers were lifted and Foggy climbed into the bed behind him.

“F’ggy? What’re you doing?”

“The cat’s in my bed.”

“Then move her.”

“I think she might actually eat me if I tried to do something like that. Scoot over, you’re hogging the blanket.”


That morning, when Matt woke up with Foggy pressed against his back and an arm slung around his waist, he thought that, just maybe, having a cat around wouldn’t be so bad.

Then she jumped on his face and he reconsidered.