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March Complications

Chapter Text


The caterpillar awoke the morning of March first to a clamor at his bedroom door.

“ABS, HELP!” Whoever was outside was not only yelling, but banging, and they needed to stop it. Now.

Grumbling, Absolem rolled out of his nest of pillows, shuffled to the door and pulled it open. Barely in time to save his face from an accidental pounding, he caught the knocker’s offending fist in one of his own.

What, Mallymkun?” He ground out between clenched teeth.

Mally, was too jumpy to notice Absolem’s tone, “Abs. Abs, help. Please help. I don’t know what to do! Abs you have to help! We’re finished! Done for! ABS,” the dormouse was so far gone that he was jittering and bouncing on the balls of his feet, all the while clutching a cloth bundle to his chest with his free hand, “WE’RE SCREWED!!”

The caterpillar frowned at his normally cogent friend. Generally it would be Thackery or Tarrant who would degrade to such a state. Not Mallymkun. Gently, not wanting to startle the panicking man before him, Absolem released the fist he had been grasping and instead guided his long fingers further up Mally’s arm. The dormouse automatically mimicked the motion, seizing hold of Absolem’s biceps, and allowing himself to be drawn into the caterpillar’s room. Once inside, he stood quivering, as Abs awkwardly closed the door behind them without breaking the contact. The bundle Mally clung to wriggled and snorted. Both Absolem and Mally jumped. Mally, released his grip on Abs to peel back a layer of fabric from the top of the bundle. Out from the writhing center of what looked like a balled up sweatshirt popped the head of a very cross, brilliantly teal hare.

Absolem stumbled backwards until his feet caught on one of his giant floor cushions and he involuntarily sat down on it with a rather loud 'flump'.

“Please,” he begged, “tell me that, that is not Thackery Earwicket.” He steepled his hands together in front of his chin, “Tell me that is not- that creature is not our bassist.”

Mally bit his lip, shifted his weight a few times, and stroked the hare’s snout. Finally he opened his mouth, “It’s, um, it’s not Thackery?”

“You are lying to me.”


Abs groaned, “How did this happen?”

The dormouse started fidgeting, a nervous tic making an appearance at the corner of his mouth, “ I d-don’t know, I w-woke up and…” He trailed of shrugging helplessly. The hare in his arms had started thrashing about, working it’s way out of it’s wrappings.

Absolem buried his face in his hands, “We are so screwed.”