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In Which James Acts Clueless and Chloe IS Clueless

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Chloe didn't really understand why she had been pushing so hard for June to have casual sex. Well, that was a lie. She did know. She had been hoping that a good lay might finally make June loosen up a bit, and maybe help her stop thinking about Steven (just thinking that asshole's name, let alone thinking of the fact that his penis had made actual contact with her vagina--which eww who knew where that thing had been?--made her shiver in disgust. Contrary to popular belief, she did actually have standards) so much. Plus, she'd just been having way too much fun teasing June, and she had never been good at stopping herself when she was having fun.

Plus, it had been really nice to see June so happy for once. Mainly because happy!June didn't nag her nearly as much as stressed!June did, but that was irrelevant. Happy!June was just way more fun to hang out with, and Chloe wanted that to last for as long as possible.

(She tried not to think about the fact that she was kind of hoping that if June started having meaningless sex, she might be more open to sex with Chloe. Because she might not have been totally honest with June when she said that she only slept with girls if she was really in a pinch.)

And okay, she should have realized that June would probably mess it all up and go and get herself into a relationship with the hot soy latté guy, despite the fact that he was a crier and dumb as a brick and owned a giant bird. Not only a bird, but a bird named Judy.

She never had liked the name Judy.

But what she had never expected was the feeling that something was gnawing at her stomach when Robin had told her that June had spent 3 days with him. Sure, she hadn't been home at all in three days, but the knowledge that June had picked him over her did funny things to her insides which she didn't like to think about.

There was clearly something wrong with her. All the fuzzy feelings in her stomach when she thought about June. The way she'd overreacted to June and Soy Latté Guy's relationship. The urge to physically push him out the door when she saw him and June together in the apartment that Chloe shared with June. Not him, but Chloe. And the misplaced smugness she'd felt when he walked out and left June for good (at first, she'd just assumed it was her usual joy at causing other people pain, but then she started feeling guilty about it, which set off definite warning signs in her brain). Not to mention the "I love you" she'd let slip. That had given her some pause, afterward. She hadn't said those words to anyone aside from James and her dad in years. Even jokingly. The fact that she'd said them to June so early in their...roommate-ship? Friendship? Whatever the case, it was definitely reason for concern.

Which was why she was currently speaking to a smirking James about it. "It's not funny," She whined, pouting. "There could be something seriously wrong with me. I could have cancer. Or a rash." She gasped. "Or both."

He frowned, staring off into space for a moment. "My grandma had cancer once. And a rash. It was terrible." He refocused on the conversation. "I don't think you have cancer. You might have a rash, but it might be contagious, so I won't check for you, myself. I could have Luther check for you, if you want," he offered.

Chloe shook her head. "Thanks but no thanks. Luther's still pissed at me for some reason. He keeps mentioning a script or something. I don't know. Anyway, I don't really think I have a rash. I just have no clue what's wrong with me. Maybe it's a 24 hour bug and it'll pass, or something."

"I'm sure June would be happy to play nurse for you, if you're sick." He grinned, thinking about it. Chloe rolled her eyes and stood up.

"You're useless. I'm leaving. Call me if you think of anything." She smoothed the wrinkles from her coat and left, hoping that June would already be home and cooking some kind of dinner.

The door slammed behind her, and James shook his head fondly, a tiny, knowing smile on his face. "She has a bug alright," he muttered. "The love bug."