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How to Catcall 101: Don’t

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With the weather as clear as it was, nothing would stop Hello, Happy World! from taking a nice stroll around town. It helped that they had already planned to go out since there wasn’t any school or band practice, but stepping outside into the gentle, sunny breeze made them all extra sure that today was the best day for their date.

They were walking around town to browse and buy to their heart’s content, sharing funny stories and homework mishaps that happened over the past week. Having just exited a candy shop, Kokoro was consuming a lollipop while retelling an incident between her and Ako while the others shared some of Kanon’s gummies. Between the laughter and jumbling conversations around them, no one could hear the man behind them whistling for their attention.

He whistled a second time a few seconds later, then called out to the group of girls, but none of them responded.

This bruised his alpha male ego a bit, so he took more action.

“Hey, ladies.”

Misaki was now explaining how Arisa cried over how incredible Lego bonsai trees were in class.


Kaoru spoke about the fleeting beauty of plastic artworks made from children’s toys.


Hagumi ran ahead to look through a window, so they all rushed to catch up to her.

Absolutely frustrated, the stranger planned to yell at them. However, seeing them slow down and stop allowed him to keep his cool and make a better play.

Especially since he could now confirm that Kokoro had a sucker.

He straightened his posture and fixed his footwork before whistling to the group. Their eyes were now on him, the blonde of his dreams raising her brows in childlike curiosity. She was way prettier than he thought and he almost lost his cool. He slipped his hands into his coat pockets to pose as collected while he rhythmically clenched his fists to calm himself, then leaned against the nearby wall and brought out the charm.

“Hey, blondie. What that mouth do?”

The girls were insulted and amazed at the balls this random man had. Not only were they all lesbians, but he chose to go for Kokoro, the most chaotic of their ADHD gremlins.

The four stood in silence, while the lady in question gave her answer without a moment of hesitation.


Three of them were frozen in their stunned state, while Hagumi took the time to start poorly beatboxing the “Worldwide Treasure” intro for her.

Kokoro immediately picked up the first verse. No stumbling, no worrying, nothing. Just the enthusiasm of being able to sing in public.

Kaoru wondered if she should help Hagumi. Kanon hoped they wouldn't get arrested for causing a scene. Misaki had her head in her hands, internally reminding herself that this outing was her own idea.

The stranger didn’t know what to do. He just stood there like an idiot and listened to the blonde rap while being supported solely by her small ginger friend.

How could he have failed so badly? Why was he being rapped at? Was that really her first thought of what to do? Did they plan this? Had they done this before?

They finished the song a short while later, their arms wrapped around each other’s waist as they did a final pose. When had they started dancing? Realizing that they’ve stopped singing, he began questioning every life choice he’d made and ran away from their group.

“That was great, Hagumi!” The two separate, only to reconnect in a full hug. “I didn’t know you could beatbox!”

“I can’t!” She giggled while bouncing on her feet. Pulling away, they glance at their other girlfriends with bright eyes and big smiles.

“How do you guys think we did?”

The three were still speechless as they looked between themselves and the performers, unsure of how to respond to their question.

“That was absolutely incredible, my darlings!” Kaoru clapped before approaching each girl to show her affection. “ A show of excellence and surprise one can only expect from you two!”

“Y-Yeah! It was completely unexpected but cool!” Kanon nervously stepped forward with flushed cheeks and shaky hands. She fiddled with her fingers while waiting for someone to say or do something to move things along.

Everyone eventually turned to Misaki, who hadn’t said anything yet.

“Well, Misaki? What did you think?”

“It was…” She hated being put on the spot like this. What was she supposed to say? Two of her girlfriends just embarrassed a random man by uno reversing his catcall! Misaki’s dealt with a lot since joining the band, but this was one of the weirdest things she’d ever had to live through. “It was something.”

“Yay! Everyone liked it!” Hagumi and Kokoro danced with each other as they cheered, bringing more attention to them than Misaki would have liked. Luckily for her, Kanon was able to distract them with the sight of a clothing store nearby that had super cute outfits in the window.

In the end, she realized that things could have been worse and thanked every deity she knew that it ended the way it did.