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Ride

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One minute, I’m in Afghanistan taking heavy enemy fire and the next I feel a sharp pain in my throat. I suddenly can’t breathe and blood floods my mouth. All I can taste is copper as I choke on my own blood. Distantly, I realize that I have taken a bullet to the throat and that I’m dying. However, I’m mostly focusing on the fact that there is liquid flooding my lungs and I can’t breathe.

Then all I know is darkness.

The first thing that I notice is a woman screaming. I try to draw in a breath and find that I can. The feeling of oxygen in my lungs is a sweet relief. I can’t fathom how they could have possibly saved me but I’m glad they did. I feel something warm pressing all along my back and if I didn’t know better, I would think it’s a hand. But unless I’m being held by a giant, that doesn’t make any sense. I take the opportunity to open my eyes finally. 

What the fuck?

Why is there a giant staring down at me?

Am I seriously being held by a fucking giant?

What the actual fuck is going on? 

Am I small?

I look around to try and find some answers and I appear to be in a hospital room. There’s a pregnant lady giving birth on the gurney and she has a death grip on the guy next to her. There's a man in scrubs crouched in front of her and several others in scrubs around the room. I finally register that people in the room are talking and so I focus on what they’re saying. 

“Okay it’s time to push again.” The man crouched in front of the pregnant lady says. I assume the man is a doctor or nurse. 

She yells in pain but nods her head. I tune the others out as I focus on my body instead. I move my limbs around and notice that they are chubby and short. My breathing picks up as I start to panic. What the fuck is going on? I close my eyes and take as deep a breath as my tiny lungs can handle. Okay. Whatever’s happening, I can handle it. I am a motherfucking marine and I have survived way too much shit to break now.

Approaching this calmly and rationally, there’s a lot of evidence pointing towards me being reborn but I just need to remain calm. I’m going to be okay. I might be a baby but I just need to keep taking deep breaths. 

So what are the facts?

Fact one: I’m tiny. 

Fact two: I remember getting shot in the throat. 

Fact three: my name is—

Why can’t I remember my name? I don’t remember my name. Fuck. Oh my god. I can feel myself starting to panic again and I can’t stop myself from letting out a little wail. Fucking shit. I am an actual baby and I can’t remember my name and I’ve been fucking reincarnated and shit! This is all too much! I can’t handle this!

I continue to cry until I hear another baby crying and I finally stop. 

Do I have a twin?

I open my eyes and look around to see the woman that was giving birth is now holding a baby. I tune back into what they are saying. 

“Congratulations.” The man that was delivering the babies says. “You have two beautiful baby girls.”

Holy shit. 

This is really happening. 

I take a deep breath and go back to the facts. 

Fact one: I’m tiny. 

Fact two: I remember being shot in the throat. 

Fact three: I don’t remember my name. 

Fact four: I have been reborn. 

Fact five: I have a twin sister. 

Fact six: I remember everything from my previous life, other than my name. 

My fact listing is cut off when I realize I am being given to another person. I look around to see that I’ve been given to the woman who just gave birth. Which would be my mother. Holy shit. I have a mom now. In my previous life, I had been left by a dumpster next to the hospital. I never knew my mother and the foster mothers I had over the years never cared about me the way a mother should. Maybe this time around would be different. 

“Oh Charlie, they’re beautiful.” The woman says to the man next to her.

I look over to him and see that Charlie is holding my sister and is actually crying. “They’re perfect.”

Maybe this time around would be different. Maybe I could grow up loved.

 


 

Fuck my life.

My name was now Melody Jane Swan and my twin sister was Isabella Marie Swan. 

Funny coincidence right? 

Wrong. 

My parents were Renee Higginbotham and Charlie Swan. We lived in Forks, Washington and the year was 1987. When Bella and I were 3 months old, our mother took us and ran away from Forks.

I was in fucking Twilight.

 


 

Pretending to be a mindless baby was hard and I couldn’t hide the fact that I was not normal. Thankfully, Renee just chalked this up to me being “gifted” and I took that and ran with it. When I was three years old, I took some paper and wrote down everything I knew about the future and the Twilight books. I hid them under a loose floorboard that Bella didn’t know about. The only thing that I didn’t write down was that Aro had killed Didyme. I didn’t want anyone to know about that since he would kill me for it. By the time Bella and I started school, I was so over being a child but when the school offered my mother the chance for me to skip a few grades, I refused to do so. I didn’t want to leave Bella behind. I loved her so much and I would protect her at all costs. She was just so sweet and innocent. She was also a total klutz but that was fine. I always helped her up after she fell down, bandaged all of the little scrapes, and held her while she cried. 

Growing up, we didn’t really make any friends and just stuck with each other. We were both fine with that. Isabella loved her books and I loved art, music, and sports. The first time I grew up, I never stayed in one place long enough to join any sports teams but living in Phoenix with my mom and sister, I was able to and I loved every minute of it. I sometimes even convinced Bella to join me when I went jogging. We visited Charlie for about a month every summer and that was fine. He was a nice guy and a really supportive dad and I enjoyed our time together. Bella did not. She hated Forks and when we were 14, she finally put her foot down and made Charlie instead spend two weeks with us in California.

I remember puberty sucking the first time around and it sucked just as much the second time. I made sure to be there for Bella wherever possible. I taught her how to use a tampon, I held her when she was hormonal, and I forgave her when we would get into fights about the stupidest shit. I was more of a mother to her than our mother ever was.

And that was another thing. 

Renee was a pretty shit mother. 

By the time I was seven, I was already managing the finances of the house, cleaning everything, and making our meals. I had to remind her to go to the grocery store since I was too little to do it myself and I even made a list to make sure she got everything and she still managed to forget things. I honestly don’t know how Bella would have survived without me. But it was fine because this woman gave birth to me and Bella and I loved Bella so I couldn’t really resent her too much. 

When I was 8 years old, I invested a bunch of stocks in amazon and apple and planned to invest more stocks into things like facebook and netflix when they came out.

When we were 15, I started giving Bella self defense lessons. I told her that I had read books about it and she believed me. Her being a klutz was a detriment that ended in more than one injury for both her and me but I persevered and she eventually got decent at it. Right after I started our lessons, I also told her that I was bisexual. She didn’t know what that meant and so I explained it to her. She hugged me and thanked me for telling her. I still didn’t date anyone because I was mentally 43 years old (I was 28 when I died) and dating a teenager would have been weird. 

It was also around this time that I also convinced Renee to allow us to get a dog. This was my plan to keep Edward out of our room without permission. His name was Rex, he was an Australian Shepherd and Bella and I loved him dearly.

When we were 16, Renee met Phil and by the time we were 17, they were married. Bella could see that staying in Phoenix with us made our mother sad so she came up with the plan to move to Forks. Over the years, I had debated on whether or not to let this happen. On one hand, she would be in a lot of danger. On the other hand, she would be very happy with the love of her life. In the end, I decided to let everything that was going to happen, happen until after the car crash and then I would explain that I know everything and just say that it was a gift. 

And that’s what happened.

Mostly.